"Dame Campbell! I'm glad to see you made it."
Their host had found them. He looked slightly ill at ease wearing a much more presentable version of the leather armor he'd worn on their quest together, as if the garment hadn't been properly broken in, and so was uncomfortable. Given it looked practically new, that was probably the case. Still, despite that, he looked relaxed enough, and a wore a pistol at his side, specially ordered to contain as large a powder round as could be fit in without needing to make the chamber significantly thicker and heavier, just ornate enough to look formal. The rest were on the display table near the target range that had been set up for a demonstration later, being inspected by curious knights and squires. "May I introduce my wife, Lady Steris."
"Sir Cett," Maria greeted. Or at least, that's what she planned to do.
Instead she stared. She twitched. She thought about it, realized she'd been set up, and decided to speak quietly with her business partner about it later.
Finally, she managed to push through the blockage at her throat caused by awe and terror. "Lady Agent Steris," Maria said, greeting her with a bow as to a fellow knight. "It is an honor to meet the Ministry of Souls' Head Auditor."
An eyebrow arched. "How novel. It's seldom I am addressed as such by someone I'm not auditing," the woman feared across the kingdom as the 'Tax Collector From The Abyss' and 'The Third Prince Sends His Regards' said. "Usually they put in more expletives or avoid me entirely."
Maria could see that. HER taxes were perfectly in order and even so she was nervous. Behind her, she could feel that Sophia was trying to hide behind Katarina, who was rapidly chewing to clear her mouth. Good. "I will admit I am surprised, your ladyship," Maria said. "I was not aware you were married."
"It was a quiet ceremony," Lady Steris said. "And I am seldom spoken of in rumor. A rare courtesy, in our circles."
No, people probably didn't want to risk having an unflattering rumor about her attributed to them. There were PLENTY of rumors of the Head Auditor, several very unflattering, a few outright terrifying and hopefully made up, but none ever mentioned her by name. Maria only knew because of the research she'd done to do her taxes…
"I assume you know my business partner, Lady Sophia Ascart?" Maria said.
"We have met," Lady Steris said. "My husband tells me she has been an able teacher in the use of these new weapons of his."
"Ah, hello, Lady Steris," Sophia said, looking bright eyed and vaguely nervous. Nice to see you again. Ah, have you met Lady Katarina Claes, Lady Maria's squire?
Amazing. Maria doubted her senses for the moment, but there it was: Sophia actively throwing Katarina under the large swinging log covered in spikes.
All this time, Lord Cett had an amused smile on his face, one that she'd sometimes seen on Prince Ian's. It was the 'my fiancée/wife is being terrifying and I'm such a lucky man' face.
"I do not believe I have had the pleasure, no," Lady Steris said, her smile smooth and practiced.
Fortunately for Katarina, if there was one thing she was good at, it was smiling back at people. "Ah, hello Lady Steris," Katarina said, doing a knightly bow. "It's very nice to meet you!"
"And you as well, Squire Katarina," Lady Steris said. "I admit, you are not as I expected."
Katarina blinked. "Eh? What were you expecting, ah, Lady Steris?"
"Someone more like your mother," Lady Steris said.
"Ah, well, we have the same eyes?" she said, pointing at her face. "And I guess our hair is the same."
"That is true," Lady Steris nodded. "How is the Duchess, by the way?"
"Oh, mother's great," Katarina said. "She's been writing a lot of letters to our relatives, and I think she's trying to set up my cousin Olga's debut so she can make some friends before she starts attending the academy next semester."
Maria and Sophia both blinked in surprise. "Another cousin?" Sophia said, looking alarmed.
"Well, please give the Duchess my regards, Squire," Lady Steris said.
"I'll see you later, Dame Campbell," Sir Cett said. "I hope you and Sophia will be able to help me give a little demonstration as to your weapon's abilities?"
Maria and Sophia both nodded. That had been mentioned in the invitation. "We would be glad too," Maria said.
"I'm sure it will be an interesting sight for all our future customers," Sophia said brightly.
Sir Cett laughed. "Always on target, aren't you, Lady Sophia?"
"It's what the sights are for!" Sophia said cheerfully. The exchange had the feel of a private joke.
They watched as the host and his wife moved on to someone else, a knight with a slim lance on her back. Judging by her reaction, she was either ignorant to the identity of Lady Steris or an old friend.
"She seemed nice," Katarina said before raising up her plate and starting on the food again.
Maria whipped around and gave her business partner a pointed look.
"If I had to suffer an almost fatal heart attack my first day teaching him how to shoot, so did you," Sophia said stubbornly. "Besides, it's not like you have anything to worry about. You're too Maria to do anything sneaky with your taxes."
"It's the principle of the thing." Then Maria blinked. "Did you just use my name as a verb?"
"I'm trying to see if it catches on."
Maria rolled her eyes. "Please leave me out of your silliness," she said. She glanced at Katarina. "Come, Squire. You need to go mingle."
"Ah, let me just refill my plate…"
"No," Maria said with finality. "You've eaten. Now we're going to use that food you ate as fuel to move. So attend me, and you will introduce yourself to the other squires."
Personally, if Maria were left to her own devices, she would be standing in a defensible corner and trying to blend into the shadows, the way several darkly dressed sirs and dames were doing right then. But she was supposed to be teaching her squire the proper habits of a knight, not her personal habits as a knight. Besides, she had the experience to know when it was permissible to bend the rules. Katarina… didn't. she just did as she did and it was only by coincidence if what she did was permissible.
"Hey, it's Lord Byron," Katarina said, pointing at one such corner. "Should we go say hi?"
"Nah, he's talking to Sir Wayne, and they look like they're plotting something. I'd rather not be caught up in it," Sophia said. She sighed. "I still think he'd look better in Darkmoon armor."
"I doubt anyone chooses their covenant for the dress code, Sophia," Maria said, then conscientiously added, "well, except for the Rocks of Havel. But they're the exception."
Finding squires was surprisingly easy, though irritating. Apparently, they'd all converged around the buffet table, to get out of their knights' way and because they were taking the opportunity to eat a lot since this was a break from their training.
"Wait, so I should have stood next to the buffet table and talked to the people near it?" Katarina said, blinking.
"No, that's not the lesson you should be taking from this, my Squire," Maria said. "That's just a coincidence."
"But…"
"Coincidence!"
Sophia, stop laughing, it's not funny!
Fortunately, Maria had been able to release her irritation during the demonstration later on. As the weapon's apparent creator, Sir Cett had asked her to explain and demonstrate the gehrmans to curious guests. It was not unlike the presentations she'd made to the king so long ago, demonstrating the effectiveness of the weapon, and the smooth movements of firing, releasing the cartridge, and firing again was soothing, in its way.
And the awe from people seeing the shot shattering a three-inch thick wooden target was also very satisfying.
Afterwards, she, Sophia and Sir Cett were deluged with interested knights asking for the particulars of the weapon. They were proper knight questions, like, "Can I use it to parry?" and "How is it at clubbing people on the head?" and "It's accurate to how far? Are you swamping me?" and "Can I use it with pine tar resins?", which Maria had to admit she'd never considered.
The most interesting question came from the knight Maria had seem Matthew talking to earlier, Dame Ruby Vardan, who'd asked if the firing mechanism and barrel could be installed into the shaft of an existing weapon, allowing it to serve as both a melee weapon and long range weapon. That had set off a lively round of discussion, speculating, and several impromptu drawings as Maria tried to sketch it out and see if it was possible. It was surprisingly plausible for a lot of weapons, though they would probably need titanite to keep the barrel from bending, and maintenance would probably be problematic (wasn't it always?), but that sort of trick weapon was certainly possible for some, though it would take delicate balancing so it could be aimed properly.
It was certainly a productive party, and Sophia and Maria were able to make arrangements that would hopefully lead to future commissions of weapons. Dame Vardan had wanted to go back to Maria's estate with them so she could commission her weapon—a scythe-rifle trick weapon—immediately, until her wife Lady Eira pointedly reminded her that they had plans that night, hem-hem.
At least Katarina had done as she'd asked and socialized. True, she'd socialized around the food table, but still! And she'd done it without making anyone fall in love with her! Maria supposed her suggestion for a conversation topic had helped in that regard. When she'd come back to collect her squire, they were all still huddled together and commiserating.
"I still can't do it most of the time," one sad and frustrated-looking squire sighed. "I mean, I swing my shield and it looks like it should sweep aside the weapon coming at me but NO, too late, and then I get punished," he sighed. "Really, if I had a choice, it's just roll away."
"We can't though, because we have to 'manage our stamina'," the squire next to him said with a sigh, making quote gestures with her fingers.
"I keep getting told I need to git gud, but I don't even know what that means!" a third wailed.
"At least you don't have to try doing it with a crossbow," said another squire, miming hold a crossbow in one hand and a shield in the other. "Why do I have to hold them separately? There are crossbows with a shield built in. We don't need to Parry, just take the blow and shoot their face!"
There were murmurs of agreement and generally muttering of why they couldn't do the obvious, as if they didn't know what helmets were for.
"It's so hard to do," Katarina sighed, and everyone around her sighed in agreement.
"It's supposed to be easier to do with a buckler, but that's a lie," another squire said, her face looking haunted. "It's a vicious, terrible lie…!"
For a group that wasn't actually drunk, they were all pretty melancholy.
Sophia stared at the group, all looking depressed and not one staring at Katarina in adoration. "Where were you when I was growing up?" Sophia asked, awed. "Where were you when I needed a way to keep Lady Katarina from making more people fall in love with her?"
"Being a commoner Light Magic wielder whom everyone treated like some noble's discarded bastard," Maria said succinctly.
Sophia groaned. "Ugh, make me sound petty, why don't you?"
Maria shrugged. "You asked where I was." She clapped her hands to get Katarina's attention. "Squire. We're going."
The despair of trying to master parrying with a shield disappeared in an instant, replaced with pouting. "Aw. Do I have to?"
Maria mentally considered this party a success. Katarina didn't want to leave, and it wasn't because of the food, but because of the conversation and company. "You still have your lesson later," Maria reminded her.
Katarina did pout, but got back to her feet. "Well, it's been fun everyone, but it have to go now." There were groans, especially as they realized more knights were coming over to pick up their squires to. "I'll see you next time, all right? Next time, let's all be better at parrying." She made a fist with her right and held it up in determination.
All the others returned the gesture, and Maria struggled to maintain her composure. Her squire had gestured and was answered! She wasn't crying! Sophia was crying!
"Lady Katarina…!" Sophia sniffed. "So cool… "