Chapter 12

From feeling excited when she read the text message, to being restless with anticipation as she ran to meet him at her gate, now that she's here, she's just so confused.

She thought it was... But it's...

'Can?' she tests herself more than she doubts his presence - she's sceptical of his presence too, but that's only because she's distrustful of her eyes.

'Good morning, Ceylin,' he happily greets her with a warm smile.

His smile is a little too greedy for her taste, as if he's been for the opportunity to show it, and though she dislikes it, though she can't be sure if the lack of sleep has finally driven her crazy, she still responds with a polite, 'Good morning,' which only widens his smile and confuses her more.

'These are for you,' he tells her, just then thrusting a bouquet of flowers and a small box of chocolates towards her.

She is really confused.

Her eyes see Can and his presents for her, she clearly has no problem hearing, but her mind just can't… Did she…?

There must be an explanation for this, she reasons as she studies the different-coloured flowers. Maybe, somewhere in the rush of things during the past few hours, she said something to Aylin, and Aylin probably told Osman, who probably mentioned it to Can, and now here Can is, for whatever reason.

That doesn't make sense, however, because apart from telling them to go home and wait for her to call them with news, she didn't tell Aylin anything important. Another thing that doesn't make sense is the bouquet, and so to find a logical explanation for the gifts, she begins to look around them, and then down the street, and then the other sid-

Ilgaz, she notices him standing his parker car, he's been there all the while - what a relief.

Just seeing him brings her excitement back, even provoking a faint smile at how hopeless she is when it has to do with him. He never fails to evoke some emotion on her, although...

Why did he text instead of calling her to come out? Even during their difficult period, he used every opportunity to call her, so why didn't he call now? Does it have everything to do with Can and his bright flowers? Did he arrive after Can and thought ...?

'Eh...' she finally finds her voice and forces her eyes from Ilgaz to Can and his flowers to ask, 'Why?' seeing as her relationship with Can never became more than cordial greetings.

If she sounds ungrateful, she really doesn't care.

'Osman told me that you found Mercan,' he explains. 'I'm really happy for you, Ceylin. The days of your suffering are behind you now.'

'Oh, thank you,' she answers, a little surprised by him and very touched that her suffering was recognised.

Really, she means it. His concern is touching, sweet even, that she can't resist taking his gifts. Since he made the effort to come and congratulate her about Mercan's rescue, she can't be rude and refuse his gesture. As she reaches for the items, though, Can frees one of his hands, using it to cover hers.

'Listen, Ceylin,' his voice suddenly sounds nervous, which intrigues her more than the unexpected touch of his hand, 'there's something else that I want to tell you.'

'Okay,' she accepts with a frown, because this is becoming confusing again.

Does he have some information about Mercan?

'I want you to know that I am here for whatever you need. I will not allow you to suffer again.'

He goes a step further and caresses her hand in a gesture that could easily be mistaken for one that's been done to her before. Uncomfortable isn't the word that she would use to describe the itchy feeling on her hand at the touch, but she will admit that she doesn't like it. Nonetheless, so as not to remain silent and create an awkward atmosphere, she sounds a short 'Hmm,' to his directionless words. It was never up to him to guard her from suffering, but okay.

'Osman laughed in my face and said that you would never look at me even though I have the money to buy you whatever you want, but I won't give up on you, girl,' he confesses with all seriousness, it appears. 'I want you to know that if Yekta calls me asking for a favour again, I will do it for you. I have what it takes to make you happy, Ceylin. You and your daughter. We can live wherever you want, we can do whatever things you want, and you will never cry with me by your side. I'm not a man who plays around with women, I swear to you. I want someone that I can share this lavish lifestyle with, and you are that woman.'

This man… Her eyes roam all over his face, and then down his body before returning to his unwavering face, he's serious?

'Can, are you interested in me?' she asks just to make sure that she isn't misinterpreting him.

Voicing the idea is exactly like she hit the replay button, making it sound like the most comical thing in her mind, and just then, Can tentatively nods, that way confirming it and making it real. Absolutely absurd too, she realises, the gravity hitting her so hard that uncontrollable laughter bursts out from her stomach. It's as if someone is tickling her and won't stop, thus, she won't stop laughing like she's been deprived of laughter for years. Actually, it hits her that she is laughing from the happiness of her heart, happiness that some crazy person in Istanbul has deprived her of for nearly three years.

For years, that crazy person took every bit of happiness away from her, and only now, because Can decided to be ridiculous and confess his interest in her, can she finally laugh from the heart without a filter and pretence. Yes, Can is the catalyst to her laughter, but this is clearly the belated laugh that she needed to let out ever since they got Mercan's DNA results. Because of that, she secures his gifts into each hand and moves closer to wrap her arms around him in a thankful embrace. Time, especially hindered by her restlessness and the rapid course of events, didn't allow her to take a moment and laugh with happiness and hopefulness like she wanted to but thankfully Can came around and gave her a reason to fully express the joy of Mercan being closer to coming home than ever.

She puts every bit of gratitude into the hug, for Mercan, for giving her an avenue to laugh and for his misplaced thoughtfulness, holding him tightly. Can, although caught off guard at first, quickly overcomes it and holds her back with a tightness that's different. It's just different, not at all comparable to her embrace with Ilgaz at the station last night. The scent hitting her nose is different too, so much so that easing away from him happens naturally. What's strange is that she didn't get this feeling when Yekta and Eren hugged her – maybe it's just because Can was never a part of her life in that way.

'I needed this very much, thank you, Can,' she tells him, truly meaning it as she steps back.

In spite of being the wrong person to hold her, she really does appreciate what he's done for her.

'I'm glad,' he replies, showing her a genuine smile. 'That's all I want for you, Ceylin. I want to give you everything that you need.'

Oh, this man.

But she can't really blame him when she's the one who reacted in the wrong way. What else was he supposed to think when she hugged him while laughing happily?

'Thank you, but I don't want a lavish lifestyle,' she says it just like it is without offending him too much – he did come here with good intentions, after all.

And the thing is, if she did want a lavish lifestyle, there's only one man in the world for her. Said man is on the other side of the road, and he is a man who, in the last thirty, sleepless hours, has broken every rule for her, hugged her, gave her as much space as he believed she needed, held her face in his hands, calmed her down, made her see reason when her impulses were getting the better of her, and most importantly didn't leave her side. All that's left is for them to find Mercan for everything to fall into place again.

'I'm better than him anyway,' Can scrambles to say, apparently seeing her visually choose Ilgaz over him. 'What can he offer you that I can't triple? With me, you will live like a queen. We will travel to every corner of the earth and to wherever your heart desires. Can he offer you the same? His salary is nothing compared to what I can make in a day. I am ambitious, I never settle, I'm better than the government worker.'

This Can is really a funny man, she decides, her eyes studying his face. His appearance confused her but then he made her laugh, so maybe she should feel sorry for him and understand his desperate attempt to attract her to him. It's only that she can't take him seriously, and even if she could, he's still talking about his wealth like she will miraculously change her mind if convinced well enough.

'I only want to find my daughter, Can. That's the most important thing to me right now,' she tells him, using that as her final point of dismissal.

'Okay, okay,' he answers too eagerly, 'then I will do everything to help you find her. I have connections in places that he wouldn't know about. Please, Ceylin, give me a chance to prove myself to you.'

Talking to him is a lost cause, she concludes with a container sigh. He is anyway not her type, which is why she shakes her head, refusing his offer, at the same time shoving the chocolates and flowers onto his chest, not caring if they slip down to the ground or not. She would've added the polite excuse of needing to be at the police station already if she didn't suspect that he would use that to try and convince her to accept him. For that reason, she brushes past him and begins walking towards Ilgaz without looking back.

Great relief settles into her as soon as she reaches him, knowing that she is safe near him and far away from Can.

'Good morning,' she greets him with a smile to reflect her relief.

There's also the fact that she's glad to see him, but his short, almost cold 'Good morning,' makes her wonder if she shouldn't have kept her relief hidden. There's something particularly dismissive (and a little hurtful) about the way that he barely looks her in the eye, followed by him walking around to his side of the car. It's strange, in fact, it's unbelievable that he didn't even show her the slightest hint of a smile. He normally would've welcomed her, but she tries to ignore it and gets in the car after him, buckling herself in and looks to see if he will say something.

When he buckles himself in and turns the key in the ignition, she wonders, 'Is something wrong?'

'No.'

She doesn't believe him, she immediately thinks. It's impossible that he doesn't at least want to ask her anything, considering how curious he always is about what she does and who she speaks to. If he saw her laughing and hugging Can, then he is definitely holding himself back from asking what he really wants to know. Although she understands his trepidation and why he won't say anything, he must be dying inside from what he saw. Remembering how the simple sight of Nil standing next to him made her blood boil, she can only imagine how he felt seeing her hug a man who gave her flowers and chocolates, but out of respect for his sensitive state, she chooses not to push him.

'Okay, then, let's go,' she says rather, turning her head to the road and looking ahead.

'Let's go,' he softly repeats, although not soft enough to hide his sceptical tone.

Uff, this isn't how their morning should've started out.

26Chapters

The funny thing is that she had been hoping for anything, big or small, to break the tight silence that had settled between them in the car. The silence had been so thick with felt-but-unspeakable-feelings, that had one of them needed to get out of the car to wrestle a snake, she would've been the first to volunteer, and yet here she is. Instead of rushing out of the car while Ilgaz is on the phone with Çinar, she's fidgeting with her seatbelt and looking around for any small excuse not to leave the car yet.

All right, fine, she'll be honest; she feels bad, and the truth is that she doesn't want them to go inside the station without resolving whatever he thinks is happening between her and Can.

Despite being offended by him, she's not as cruel as to let him believe that her love belongs to someone else now, least of all Can. On the one hand, though, if he doesn't bring it up first, her pride won't let her just volunteer that she isn't interested in Can - it's not as if she hugged Can with the intention of sending him a message. Also on the other hand, is the fact that he won't bring up Can at all, his silence throughout the car ride made that very clear to her.

So then, if neither of them will bring it up, how is she supposed to clear it for him? Because she does want to clear up the misunderstanding, only, she really doesn't know, but what she does know is that if they walk into the station without resolving the matter now, it might never come up again, and understanding how he feels about Mercan being 'alive' like she always said, he will probably become more reserved than he already is with her.

She'd been so excited to receive his text and know that they would be together doing everything to find their daughter, and now look at her. And look at him, he seems more interested in dragging out his goodbye to his brother than hanging up before she leaves. Even as he hangs up, he seems to be fiddling around with his jacket and she just doesn't know if she should leave or leave him a clue that he has it all wrong. Another two seconds tell her that he will not say anything, so she lets out a minimal sigh of defeat and disappointment, getting ready to open the door when he calls her name.

Oh, thank God.

Her relief can't be measured, neither can she be held back from quickly abandoning the plan to leave the car to look back at him with all of her attention. His silence draws her eyes to his hands, where they see a necklace and her heart seems to stop for a second. There was hardly a chance to rejoice at seeing it when he pulled it out of Efe's drawer, but she'd immediately known that she missed it so much. Over the months, she's worn different necklaces, looking for an equivalent replacement, except none of them ever felt right. She wore them, of course, but...

Gosh, she's missed that little piece of jewellery. What's more, she already sees herself wearing it around her neck, where it belongs; the symbol of what she means to him, the declaration of her love for him, the evidence of their partnership to everyone...

With those thoughts warming her heart like it needed to be for so long, she brings her eyes up to his face, knowing that he will finally hand it back to her. Cold surprises hits her square in the chest, however, when he, as though too tired to fight, asks if he should keep it or if she wants it.

Right here and now, he is literally asking her to define their relationship before they get Mercan back. It's probably simple in his head that if she doesn't want it, he will know not to make any attempt with her. As obviously as he loves her, his guilt would make sure that he didn't sever any ties with her and so his need to know how where they stand Whether he always meant to use the necklace to ask her that, or if Can's appearance had everything to do with him doing it now, she doesn't care about really. What's important to her is making it clear that come Can, come another man, come all the perfect men in the world, she chooses only one.

'It's mine,' she tells him with a soft possessiveness in her tone.

She goes a step further by lifting her hair as she turns around for him to put it around her neck, because no matter how many times she took it off, it's always been hers. Just like he has always been hers.