Borrowing and modifying the one I did previously for the Kill Them All fic by Shayne:

"Right, time to dive into the Net and stress test the Shadow to the max…hehehe…Combat Zone, whether you're ready or not, here I come!"

*rrrriiiiinnnggg*

"Hello? Sasha? I'm coming, I'm coming so just wait and be patient, okay? Wait, what was that? Oh, those are fighting words and I'm gonna make you eat them. When I left you, I was but the kohai. Now, I am the senpai. *giggle* Shut up! That line's totally awesome and totally describes me. Gotta go now."

*shiver*

"Ugh, getting full body shivers…you can do it, Motoko. You can do it. Yeah, this'll be piece of cak– What the hell?

*bzzzzt*
*crackle*

"Do not turn off or exit or expire before the update process is complete."
"Gamer nanomachines update: 20%...40%...60%...80%..."

...

*Updating interface*
"100%!"

*tinkle*

"What the hell...is the deck glitching? Wait no, it says nanomachines update...am I glitching?"

"UPDATE COMPLETE! MAGIC UNLOCKED!

Dear Gamer, have you ever been frustrated by the limitations currently imposed by the purely physical and digital combat available to you up until this point and wished that you have additional means by which you could take down the enemies? Or maybe have new tools with which you could craft new and wondrous items be it weapons, armors, special tools or other marvellous contraptions never before seen by the unsophisticated masses on your world? Fly in the sky unaided by boring and utterly mundane technological means conceived by magicless humanity? Animate objects at will including your own creations and imbue them with sentience? Create magical grimoires that will follow you anywhere through your daily life and offer advice or funny or snarky comments and assist you in your battles? Read other people or creature's minds and control them like puppets? Visit other planes of existence and engage in new interactions, adventures and shenanigans with their inhabitants?#1

Now you can! With this update, we at Entity Multiversal Gaming have added Magic at your disposal to be used as you wish as you navigate the wonders and perils of Cyberpunk Earth! With magic, you will be more than a mere member of humanity. You will be special, a nascent god or goddess among mortals.#2 The sky is the limit!

As a bonus, we at Entity Multiversal Gaming have included a spell book accessible at any time through your Gamer interface which will store all the spells and magical formulas you discover or create. We have also included a Spell Creator toolkit so you can now craft entirely unique new spells for your own use.

You may access the "Magic" explanatory notes in the Help section at any time for more detailed explanations on the use of magic, your spell book and the Spell Creator toolkit as well as all available commands applicable to them.

Thank you again for your hard work as the stress tester for our product and we at Entity Multiversal Gaming wish you all the best in your adventures!"

Note #1: Warning: this reality is currently under the effects of a dimensional anchor placed by Entity: Jergal. Extra-planar travel option is currently locked and cannot be accessed. All dimensional travel, translocation or displacement spells are not available as a result until the planar travel restriction is lifted. Normal magical means of transportation including teleportation spells remain available.

Note #2: Entity Multiversal Gaming will not be responsible for any experimentation, death, dismemberment, physical or mental digitization that may be conducted on you by corporations or governments or any witch hunts or public mobbing by the inhabitants of Cyberpunk Earth arising from any public use of magic. User discretion is advised.

Disclaimer: Entity Multiversal Gaming makes no express, statutory or implied representations or warranties at, under or in any planar law or equity, including, without any limitation whatsoever, warranties of fitness for any particular purpose, quiet enjoyment, safe enjoyment, continuing health both physical and mental, no encumbrances and any warranties arising or that may arise through course of dealing or usage, and Entity Multiversal Gaming hereby expressly disclaims any and all such representations, warranties and liabilities arising or that may arise from the use of the Gamer product.

"Oooookayyyy..."