Red: Welcome back to Loud House '23.
Geo: And this time… STUFF…and lots of it! So without any further ado, ENJOY!
Lincoln gave a tired sigh as he poked at his scrambled eggs.
"Damn…Lincoln, I'm sorry you went through that." Dib said. "It's fine…it's not like it's the first time I've been blamed for stuff when I wasn't even around." He said dejectedly.
"Also what the heck happened to your hair?"
"Hmm? Oh, you weren't at school yesterday, were you? I got covered in a tar chicken prank, and my sister gave me some stuff to get it off. It did, but now my hair is permanently gray until it grows out enough to cut it."
"But what about your eyebrows?"
"…I have no idea what to do about that part." Lincoln sighed.
While Lincoln was sulking, Gaz walked over and sat next to him eating a bowl of cereal while staring at a DS Lite. "Ya know, snow gray, our dad is having this weird contest for inventors, so why not go there and see some uber nerds blow shit up?" She suggested as Dib smiled. "Gaz, that's a great idea!"
"Snow gray?" Lincoln questioned briefly as Dib continued.
"You could come with me and dad there this afternoon to get your mind off things with your family!" He said with an excited grin as Lincoln considered the offer. "Hmmm…I don't know, Dib. Last time I did that, this situation happened."
"Pfft. Lincoln, what's the worst that could happen, it happening twice?" Dib brushed off while eating some eggs.
"Well….okay." He said finishing his food and Gaz wiped her mouth and kissed his cheek, making Dib do a massive spit take after drinking from his glass of milk as she walked back to her room, leaving the empty bowl at the counter as Dib stared at her dumbfounded while Lincoln did the same with a shudder.
"Did… Did my sister seriously just kiss you? GENTLY?! Did I fall into a portal and get sucked into some reverse dimension?" Dib said blankly. "First she sleeps with you, now she's being gentle! Something's got to be wrong with her!"
"I…..have no words…" Lincoln said, still dumbfounded from what just happened.
"I still can't believe she slept with you. We're not even 13 yet and she already took some guys' innocence! She barely even knows you!" Dib said as Lincoln looked a bit uncomfortable. "Yeah…she…didn't actually…go THAT far with me."
"...What?"
"Yeah… just a… blowjob… and some body rubbing…really really REALLY sensual…and soft…and awesome…and amazin-"
"Dude!" Dib said, rolling his eyes.
"I'm sorry! She's just…I didn't think skin could be that soft…"
"If you keep talking about her like that in front of me, I'm tossing you out the window." He said with a glare.
"You can't blame me Dib…your sister IS hot ... .plus it's not my fault, you try saying 'no' to her." Lincoln said as Dib pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Note to self; talk with Gaz about this….…In a bomb defusal suit…with kevlar." He sighed.
Lincoln and Dib had made it to the Royal Woods Convention center where they saw tons of cars and large trucks in the parking lot. "Huh, didn't really realize so many smart people lived in Royal Woods."
"Oh, no. A lot of the people here came in from out of state to attend." Dib said.
Huh. Hey, why didn't we go with your dad? His car was in the driveway."
"Oh, he was already here when you showed up. And that car is just for decoration, he has a different vehicle for actually going places." Dib explained casually much to Lincoln's shock as he led him inside where they saw a huge crowd of people, most of whom were wearing white lab coats over business suits or dresses.
"So, where is your dad?" Lincoln asked his big headed friend, who was currently looking around the large open room.
"Hmm, he's probably somewhere near the back working on something." Dib said as he and Lincoln walked through the crowded area.
"Man, there are so many scientists." Lincoln said, bumping into someone after accidentally getting pushed to the side. "Oops, sorry about…Stella?" He said with wide eyes as his female friend turned around irritably, only for her look to change after seeing just who it was that bumped into her.
"Lincoln? What're you doing here?" She asked as she was also wearing her backpack.
"I could ask you the same thing." He said as Stella chuckled.
"Oh, I'm here with Dr. Doofenshmirtz, he's an old friend of my mom's from college and he needed an assistant to help with his uhhhh…new inventions…" She explained, sounding a bit uneasy with the last few words.
"What's wrong? Did he make a bomb or something?" Lincoln asked jokingly.
"Nonono, it's…well…you'll see when he unveils them…so…your hair's gray now…"
"Yeah…thanks for standing by while it happened, by the way." Lincoln said, a bit bitterly as Stella flinched a bit, remembering how she and the others had just stood on the side and watched the tar feather prank play out. "Sorry, Lincoln…"
"Sorry doesn't excuse having my friends watch me get covered in tar in front of our entire grade and peers." Lincoln said, making her flinch again and look down in shame.
"...I…I'm sorry." She said softly as he gave a sigh. "Look, not believing me about Pester is one thing. But just standing by while I get bullied in front of our class? None of you spoke up when they did it or even after!"
"I…..I….I know…and….I'm really sorry, Lincoln….I… none of us…want to get bullied….and…" She tried to say only for him to cut her off.
"So you just let it happen to me?"
Stella said nothing, instead choosing to look down ashamed as Lincoln sighed. "...Look, Stella…at least you tried to give an apology…. and… I guess I can give you another chance…" He said, albeit a bit reluctantly as she looked away, uncomfortably rubbing her shoulder. "As for the others…I don't know if I can even call them friends after this." He said with a sigh.
"E…Even Clyde?"
"…"
His silence was enough to answer Stella and tell her things truly were getting serious.
"Stella? Oh, Stella, where are you?" A nasally/raspy voice called out, snapping them out of it. "Huh?" Stella said. "Oh, that's the doctor…I really am sorry, Lincoln…" She said sadly before turning away and shooting him a sad glance before walking away towards the direction where the doctor's voice had come from.
Lincoln sighed as he could see Dib waving to him excitedly, prompting him to go over to him. "Lincoln, where'd you go?"
"Sorry, I…got a phone call and had to answer it."
"Oh. Well, nevermind that. I want you to meet someone!" Dib said as Lincoln saw a man wearing a white lab whose collar covered up with mouth massive thick black lab gloves and blue goggles… as well as typing away at a keypad on his wrist.
"Dad, this is my friend, Lincoln!" Dib said as the tall scientist looked down at the two of them and spoke in a deep, masculine voice. "Ahh, so you're the boy my children have befriended."
"Uhhhhh…yeah?...it's nice to meet you." Lincoln said as he shook his hand.
"I hope my insane son hasn't been driving you too crazy with his paranormal ramblings." He spoke bluntly as Lincoln saw Dib deflate.
"They're not ramblings, dad."
"Well, son, when you go on and on every day about the same kind of thing, that's called rambling. So yes, they are, in fact, ramblings." Professor Membrane said as Dib sighed.
"Huh….and I thought I had it bad." Lincoln muttered under his breath. "So…Dib, about this contest, who do you think is gonna win?" Lincoln asked his friend.
"My dad. And NO it's not because of bias whatsoever. My dad once literally made a generator that ran off of a tuna sandwich."
"…How does that even make sense?!"
"Somehow he MADE it make sense…seriously this contest is all about which inventor is going to impress my dad and convince him to sponsor them, but he always submits his own invention in the end!"
"That…That sounds against the rules."
"I'm convinced he has some device that emits radio waves that automatically lower everyone else's IQ when he's around, that is the only way I could ever see him getting away with that scot free and NO ONE trying to sue him over that." Dib said.
"EVERYONE, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!" A voice called out over the speakers as a screech of feedback from a microphone made everyone cover their ears in pain as Lincoln saw a man in a suit and lab coat with black glasses and a high top fade holding said mic smack a machine, causing the screeching to stop. "Damn thing. Apologies for that, someone didn't properly set this up. I was merely giving everyone a warning that our little competition will begin in 5 minutes as soon as the clock reads 2." He spoke, no longer sounding like he was screaming every word as every person in a lab coat began to hurriedly move around. Five minutes later, like he said, a bell went off as everyone was now standing beside various tarp covered objects as the man in question walked towards one while Professor Membrane watched with a clipboard and pencil in hand.
"I'm sure all of you are aware of the recent sightings of the creatures in Lake Eddy, correct? Well, there has recently been a sighting of a new creature spotted around the area that screams of someone playing God. And I have created a solution to deal with the problem before it potentially destroys the local ecosystem or spreads any mutated diseases to anything or anyone." He declared proudly as he pulled back two tarps violently, revealing a duo of chrome colored machines, one child-sized and bipedal with bowed legs, the other smaller and on four shorter mechanical legs, both of then sharing a unique egg-shaped head with a thin zig-zagged slit going across vertically.
"Behold ladies and gentleman, my creations; the Mouser drones!" He declared dramatically as murmurs filled the crowd followed by pens writing on paper.
"With these drones you'll be able to solve any pest problem you have in no time flat! Racoons in the trash? Mouser drone! Possums running amuck in your backyard? Mouser drone! Children ruining your petunias and the housing authority refuses to believe you because said children are the niece and nephew of the head of the HOA who's your godforsaken ex who SELFISHLY DUMPED YOU AT THE ALTAR JUST BECAUSE SHE HATED YOUR OLD MUSTACHE AND YOU CAN'T WAIT TO USE THE DRONES ON THOSE BRATS AND LAUGH AS THEY DEVOUR THEIR BODIES AND SAVOR THEIR BLOOD AND USING THEIR TEARS AS FUEL!?...Mouser drone." He spoke, clearing his throat.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Jesus Christ, you have issues." Lincoln muttered a bit louder than intended.
"...Now then the starting price to purchase one of these beauties is a low two thousand dollars with no back tax!" He said, prompting dozens of people in the crowd to start holding fistfuls of money clamoring in front of him.
"Hmmm, two thousand dollars with no back tax? That sounds amazing, especially the part about using drones on annoying children!" Professor Membrane said, writing on his own clipboard as Stockman took a bow and left off the stage.
*3 hours of no name nobodies later*
"Finally we come to the final contestant Dr. Doofenshmirtz." Professor Membrane said as the crowd moved to face the hunched over scientist standing next to three tarps who, as they remembered correctly, saved an entire college from a bratty teen and a German psycho. "A-hem! Ladies and gentlemen! I come before you, with my greatest creations yet! Behold!" He declared loudly as he pulled back the first tarp, revealing…a wooden boat…which immediately drew many 'ooooooh's' from the crowd. "I give you, THE BO-AT!" He said as he grabbed the second and third tarps next to him. "But that's not all! I also give you…" He then pulled them back, revealing…a canoe and a plastic kayak. "THE CA-NOE AND THE KAY-YAK!"
"Ooooooh!"
Lincoln slowly turned his head in Stella's direction, the girl in question looking beyond embarrassed. "…Stella… please tell me he's joking…" He said, giving her a deadpan look.
"...No… he's not… I tried to tell him, but he was just so excited…." She sighed while pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Is this really all he has?"
"…"
"…Stella, why aren't you answering me?"
"And if you would please turn your attention to the windows outside, please!"
"Oh dear God, there's more…" Lincoln groaned while Stella awkwardly looked away from him as the crowd all shuffled to the window where two massive tarps stood above an artificial lake outside. The doctor pressed a button and the two tarps blew away, revealing…a cargo ship and a designer yacht.
"Behold the SHI-P! And the YA-CHT!"
"Oooooooooooooooh!" The group exclaimed while writing on their clipboards again as some of them even took photos of them.
"...Stella...please for the love of God say sike…" Lincoln asked as she covered her face in embarrassment.
"I …can't really explain this one." Stella mumbled into her hands.
"Does he seriously think he invented five different types of boats?!"
"…M…Maybe…" She said as the crowd around started to clap and cheer for him.
"Incredible!" Professor Membrane exclaimed as he ran over and looked at the 'new' 'inventions'. "So you've developed several new forms of water travel!? Amazing!" He exclaimed as Dib facepalmed so hard he nearly left a bruise. He REALLY wanted to explain to his father that what he was seeing wasn't really new but he knew how his father could get when it came to stuff like this. 'It's times like this where I question if I really am related to him…' He thought to himself.
"Why didn't you say something to him?" Lincoln continued asking Stella.
"I…I couldn't bring myself to. The doctor's just so nice and he looked so excited and I didn't want to ruin that good mood for him." Stella said as Professor Membrane cleared his throat.
"I believe we have a clear cut winner! But we need to put it to a vote!" he exclaimed as he snapped his fingers and voter cards dropped into everyone's hands and clipboards.
"Everyone check off the box you want to win the contest! And we shall tally the votes on a computer!" He said loudly so everyone could hear him.
"Please! What purpose do votes have, we all know I am the clear cut winner." Stockman bragged.
"Now, now Dr. Stickball, what good is declaring a winner without the suspense of a vote count?" Professor Membrane said dismissively
-"...I suppose you're right." He grumbled as he checked off his own card and placed it into a mechanical tower with a slot box attached that was connected to a TV screen.
"Now then it's time for the final tally!" Professor Membrane stated as the screen flashed for several seconds before showing off the votes…..which Doofenshmirtz won in a landslide as Stockman only had 1 percent of votes.
"…I'm sorry, what?" Both Lincoln and Stockman said simultaneously in disbelief.
"WE HAVE A WINNER!" Professor Membrane shouted as the crowd went wild as Stockman felt his eye twitch as he looked around and saw nobody watching him as he pulled out a small remote and pressed a few buttons on it before crushing it beneath his heel. Upon doing this, the yellow eyes of his drones started to light up just as Doofenshmirtz stepped onto the stage.
"Oh thank you thank you! You're all too kind." He said as Professor Membrane handed him a giant check with a large amount of money written on it as the large bipedal drone slowly turned its head in his direction.
"I'd like to thank my dearest old friend Balloony, my daughter Vanessa and…"
*ZAP!*
"The giant robot that just blasted my check…..wait hold on…" He said as he looked down at the searing hole in the center of the check, just barely missing him as everyone turned to look at the bipedal drone, its left optical letting a trail of steam as it shuttered back closed.
"My Mouser!" Stockman yelled as he took out a calculator that looked eerily similar to his previous remote.
"Oh no I can't shut it off! It's been hacked!" He exclaimed in a panic a bit too overdramatically. Luckily nobody really noticed his acting as the smaller drone came online and lunged into the crowd, causing them to scream and run around in a frenzy.
"I can't see it!"
"Where did it go?!"
"Why is it so fast?!"
Lincoln heard the faint sound of fabric tearing as turned his head to see a tarp being torn apart from the inside, revealing 6 identical copies of both Mouser drones that began to charge into the now panicking crowd that was rushing to the nearest exit. "Lincoln!" He heard Stella call out as he saw a glimpse of her getting violently shoved and dragged with the surging crowd through the doorway.
"Stella!" Lincoln shouted as he tried to climb over the surging crowd, only for pain to shoot through his leg as he saw one of the bipedal Mousers had clamped its jaws down on his calve, tearing the fabric and piercing his flesh.
"Get off me!" He exclaimed with a yelp as he kicked at its head, leaving no damage to it except for a gray smudge on its chrome shell. "Dib! A little help here!"
"Don't worry, pal, I gotcha!" Dib shouted as he pressed a few buttons on his watch and launched a grappling hook towards Lincoln, who grabbed it and held on tightly as Dib grabbed onto the stage and reeled the boy towards him, dragging the drone along the floor with him with a loud scraping. "Come on, get off!" Lincoln exclaimed, feeling its jaws digging deeper with each second as it threatened to tear his leg off at the knee.
"Hang on!" A heavily muffled voice said as the drone found its neck being severed by a sharp straight sword with a flat pointed.
"What the?!" Lincoln exclaimed as he fell to the floor and looked up in front of him to see someone wearing all black, save for a dark orange scarf around their neck.
"You okay?" He asked, holding his hand out.
"Uhhhhhhh…yeah thanks?" Lincoln said as he was helped up.
"You get somewhere safe…." He told him as the rest of the Mousers growled at the person who shut one of them down. "I got this one covered." He said, twirling his sword a bit as, before Lincoln could try to argue, Dib started dragging him beneath the stage, leaving a smeared trail of blood in their place
"Dib! What the hell!?" Lincoln said.
"Gee, no need to thank me for saving you." Dib snarked sarcastically as they both watched the newcomer fight off the Mousers.
"Take this! Ninja throwing stars!" He exclaimed, jumping back while throwing three sharpened stars at two engaging drones, one breaking ones eyes and another leaving a scratch on its head while the third was caught in the second ones jaws and crushed by the pressure.
"Ninja…Ninja trippin' balls!" He shouted as he threw a series of marbles towards the feet of the two drones, causing them to slip as he twirled their sword in their hand, causing it to ignite in fire as he split it into two separate swords.
"Ninja boomerang fire swords!" He shouted as he threw the swords at the two mouser drones, not only igniting them in fire but also causing them to explode as both blades flew back towards them and he turned the two swords back into one.
"Ok, I think he's just making stuff up as he goes." Dib commented off-handedly as he slowly pried the severed Mouser head's jaws open, freeing Lincoln's now bloodied leg.
"Who else wants some?!" He said, just as one of the crawling Mouser's jumped them from behind and snagged onto his scarf, tightening it around his neck as it swung the ninja violently into a wall.
"...ahh…..a volunteer." He said, his voice now a bit raspy on top of the muffledness. The mysterious ninja ripped his scarf from it's mouth and jumped high into the air with their sword.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHh!" The ninja yelled as they brought the sword down onto the robot's head and struck for the gap in its vertical mouth. 'Come on! Open up and say 'ahhh'!' He thought, smirking behind his mask as he saw its vertical slit start to open, only to go wide eyed as it jumped back and his sword only sliced through a plate of metal. Jumping back themselves, the ninja looked at the crawling Mouser…and saw it had a second set of jaws inside, this one horizontal and now sporting a missing section from the swing.. "Ok…I didn't see that coming…" He said aloud as two more crawling drones zoomed towards the ninja, their double jaws open as the ninja side stepped one and thrusted towards the second one's mouth, watching as the jaws clamped down on the sword's tip violently.
"Hey! Let go!" He growled as the Mouser swung the ninja around and threw him towards the back wall again, this time sending him tumbling through. With the ninja no longer present in the room, the remaining drones all turned their attention to Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Professor Membrane, who had elected to climb aboard one of the doctors 'inventions', and use another as a makeshift barrier in favor of getting trampled by the crowd.
"Great, death by giant rodent eating robots…..I always pictured me dying by vending machine." Doof said as Professor Membrane looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Huh, you as well?...I KNEW vending machines were evil!" He exclaimed as the Mousers jumped on the ka-yak and started tearing into it as the two scientists crouched down and used the ka-yak as a cover for the bo-at.
"Hang on! I'll save you!" The ninja shouted as he crawled back inside through the hole and sliced through two more crawling Mousers and ran towards the two and swung his sword, cutting through two more bipedal mousers and one crawling drone.
Meanwhile, Dib was wrapping up Lincoln's leg with gauze. "Don't worry, bud, that ninja guy will take care of everything…I hope"
"Hmm…hey, where did you get the gauze?" Lincoln asked.
"Don't worry about it." Dib said as he started to feel a cold and hot wind blowing.
"What in the name of Billy Joe Cobra?" Dib muttered as he and Lincoln watched as the ninja had jumped into the air with his legs crossed as dust and wind started to visibly swirl around him. The remaining Mousers all growled as they charged the ninja, only for him to open his eyes, his left blue and right red as he held open both hands.
"NINJA ICY-HOT AIR FISTS!" He shouted as he launched two massive fists made of fire and ice-based energy which collided with the drones, destroying them for good as well as covering the entire room in melting ice rain.
"…I…have no scientific explanation for what the heck just happened in front of us…" Dib said, his eyes wide open and haw threatening to fall off just as the ninja landed in front of them.
"You two alright?" He asked as Dib propped Lincoln up on his shoulder.
"Yeah…thanks for the help…" Lincoln said…..just as the police arrived along with a news van outside.
"Well that's just fan-fucking-tastic…" Lincoln grumbled as hordes of hordes of cops, cameras and paparazzi came barreling in, first and foremost NOT being Katherine Mulligan like he would've thought, but instead…a buff 3 foot tall man in a suit.
"I'm Dimmesdale's former news anchor and current news anchor for Royal Woods; Chet Ubetcha, here because local scientist Bailey Suckmeoff-
"OKAY, NOW YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST DOING IT ON PURPOSE!"
"- claimed that someone has sabotaged his brand new invention!" Chet spoke as he shoved the microphone into Stockman's face. "Mr. Snickerpoodle, please explain what happened." He questioned, shoving the microphone in the scientists face and ignoring his twitching eye.
"...Yes…" He grumbled before clearing his throat. "I had discovered that my inventions, the Mouser drones, were sabotaged to attack the people in this fine establishment and I have yet to find out who would do such a thing," He said, clearly lying through his teeth.
"Hmmmm, yes, whom indeed, Mr. Manstock-"
"…Okay, now THAT I'll accept!"
"WHOM would be dumb enough to ruin something for the sake of being national TV?" Chet spoke….just as the Camera zoomed over to Lincoln.
"...That's it, I give up." Lincoln said, throwing his hands up as he hobbled his way out the door just as the cameras turned over to the ninja.
"Oh? And whom might you be?" Chet spoke as the ninja gave a chuckle "Me? They call me! The ninja! Protector of the weak, hero to the innocent, someone that may or may not have watched waaaay too much anime, but who's asking really?" He chuckled. "But before you ask anymore questions, Mr. Ubetcha, YES I was the one who stopped those crazy robots." He said as Doofenshmirtz cleared his throat.
"Oh, yes, it's true. This ninja guy swooped in like some secret agent platypus and saved us all!...I just hope my assistant is okay, she got carried away by the crowd when the Mousers attacked, I hope they didn't hurt her.." He explained. "Also, why were you turning your camera to Lisa's brother?"
"ANYWAY!" Chet exclaimed, avoiding the question entirely. "So Mr. ninja, take it you're gonna be the hero of Royal Woods?" Chet asked.
"Oh yeah! You know I am in case crazy stuff like this happens again just know THE ninja WILL BE THERE! SMOKE BOMB!"
The ninja shouted as he violently threw a smoke bomb down at his feet, filling the area with red smoke and vanished into thin air as everyone present coughed.
"Heuuugh! This smoke smells like farts!"
Lincoln and Dib were sitting on the steps of Dib's house as the boy genius gave a chuckle.
"Well….that was eventful huh?" he said as Lincoln sighed and just rested his head on his knees.
"That ninja… he just came out of nowhere moments after that Stackmonsoon guy 'conveniently' lost control of his robots!" Lincoln exclaimed.
"You caught on to that, too?"
"Dib, he tried to pass off a calculator as a remote control. I'd have to be blind to not see it."
"…Well, look on the bright side, pal…at least you didn't get blamed for this." Dib spoke…as Rusty rode by on his bike tossing newspapers everywhere.
"Extra extra read all about it! Royal woods has a new ninja superhero. Local crazy boy Loco Lincoln is even crazier for sabotaging respected scientist Bobo Slapmoon!" He shouted delivering the papers as he happily rode off as Lincoln gave a small snarl and tossed a rock at his head, causing Rusty to be sent flying into the windshield of an oncoming car being driven by Mrs. Cramdilly, who screamed in fear as her car swerved off a nearby cliff and into the ocean which was then eaten by a giant sea monster who proceeded to explode and send the two of them into the air where they were hit by a jet plane as the pilot screamed and crashed said jet plane into the Royal Woods cactus farm, which then lit on fire and exploded before the Earth underneath it opened up a massive fissure and swallowed the entire thing, which then exploded again for good measure.
"...I'm okay." Mrs. Cramdilly groaned out in pain with a long echo.
"Man, poor old Mrs. Cramdilly." Dib said as Lincoln sat back down. "Dib?...maybe I should just…give up and let Pester win. Maybe then people will see I'm not crazy" Lincoln grumbled as Dib gave a smile and took a deep breath and began to sing while standing up.
"So things look bad, and your back's against the wall."
"Why're you singing?" Lincoln questioned.
"Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless."
Dib began walking behind Lincoln while reaching into his pocket.
"You're feelin' lower than the Loud House Twitter blog."
He pulled out his phone showing off the show's official twitter page and the numerous hate comments it gets for just merely existing.
"Can't face the world sober and dopeless."
He put his phone away and started curtling his gray haired friend.
"You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked."
Lincoln then took a deep sigh as Dib came to a stop and began to sport a smile.
"Well, let me just say you're…correct!"
Lincoln's head then suddenly snapped over to Dib. "Wait, what?" He questioned as Dib poked his nose and began to start dancing.
"You're a loser, Lincoln.
A loser, and I'm thinkin that
You're a fucked up little whiny bitch!"
"Hey!" Lincoln snapped as Dib danced around him.
"You're a loser, just like me!"
"Wow. Thanks, asshole." He muttered, flipping Dib off.
"You're a screws-loose hoser,
A whiny little poser!
You're a nerdy dope who's never heard-a soap!
But you got company!"
"This is supposed to make me feel better? And I bathe plenty thank you!" Lincoln exclaimed as Dib had his back to him, tapping his foot rhythmically.
"There was a time I thought that no one could relate,
To the gruesome ways in which my life's wrought!
But lettin' walls down, it can sometimes set you straight!
We're both cut from the same shitty cloth!"
"The whole town thinks I'm just some crazy freak!"
Dib smirked, pulled out his phone and showed Lincoln the stuff HE had been in before his family moved to Royal Woods, such as the baby bigfoot incident. "HA! And you think that makes you unique? Get outta here, man!" He scoffed playfully, extending a hand out to Lincoln and pulling him up on his feet.
"We're both losers, baby
We're losers, it's okay to be-"
"Clearly the unfavorite in a family of 11?" Lincoln said a bit snarkily as Dib cringed. "Uhh, a little self-deprecating but hey, we can make it work!"
Hearing this, Lincoln shook his head and smiled as he took a deep breath.
"I'm a loser, buddy!
A lousey, fuddy-duddy,
But at least I know I'm not alone!"
"You're a loser,
Just like me!" Dib sang as he and Lincoln were now back to back. "I got an appetite for tinkerin'!"
"I got an appetite for thinkin' up contingency plans for my crazy life!" Lincoln sang along, now feeling the rhythm with Dib.
"Go ahead buddy, sing that song, come on!"
"A Goth emo-chick almost took my flower!"
"I got a lot of strong brain power-" Dib looked at his beeping watch as it cut him off. "Hey, our curfew's almost up!"
"We'll get grounded if we're not home in an hour!" They both sang in unison as they sat back down on the porch.
"You're a loser, Lincoln."
"A loser, and I'm thinkin if we-"
"Just stick together, things will end up differently." They sang together before once again dancing as Dib took another breath
"It's time to lose your self-loathin'!
Excuse yourself, let hope in, buddy!
Play your card, be who you are!"
"A loser, just like-Ow!" Dib shouted as Gaz had thrown a stapler at his head, ending their duet.
"If you two twinkies are done making out get your asses in the house it's gonna rain soon!" she called out as Dib gave a sigh and rubbed the sore spot on his head.
"Ugh. Gaz… that's the third time she interrupted my music number!" he grumbled as Lincoln chuckled. "Hey, Dib?"
"Yeah?"
"...Thanks." He said as Dib wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Any time buddy anytime" he said as they walked inside the house.
"...Lincoln." He heard Gaz say as she walked up to him and grabbed his hands.
"Lincoln, quería que supieras que incluso si sientes que no tienes lugar en el mundo, debes saber que tienes uno aquí con mi hermano y conmigo, mi amor." (*1) She spoke in Spanish with a small blush on her cheeks but that blush turned full on red Lincoln replied back. "Gracias Gaz, significa mucho para mí oírte decir eso."(*2) He said, speaking verru fluently as he kissed her cheek.
"...Dude, you speak Spanish?" Dib asked in shock and disbelief as he watched his sister look like she was getting flustered and wished dearly he had a hidden camera to catch the moment.
"Yeah… I know a little thanks to an old friend of mine." Lincoln chuckled.
Baxter Stockman was inside of his apartment pacing around in a circle.
"Those fools! How dare they award that… that… absolute buffoon Doofenshmirtz! He didn't even invent anything! He just made five fucking boats!" He exclaimed in pure disbelief. "To make matters worse, that ninja destroyed my drones….UGH! I swear if I ever see another ninja, I'm gonna scream!" He growled….just as a swirl of black smoke appeared behind him.
"Stockman." A feminine voice spoke in a cold tone.
"IT'S FUCKING STOCKMAAAaaaaa… oh…He-Hello, Karai…you uhhhhh… You look nice this evening." He spoke with a nervous smile as he found his lab coat pinned to the wall by a ninja star.
"EEP!"
"Silence your tongue, you low-life insect...We're getting tired of waiting for you to deliver the goods after that disaster that was broadcasted on TV earlier today…If I had my way, I would have... relieved you of your duties." She spoke as he gave a nervous gulp.
"...BUT….The Master still has use for you…so….he told me to inform you that our enemy was spotted amongst the shores of Lake Eddy….you are to rebuild your more efficient drone models and send them off to eliminate him…" She spoke as her deep purple eyes glared at him in shadows.
"Of course! Of course, I was going to rebuild the drones anyway so… you can count on me to get rid of him!" He chuckled as sweat poured down his face.
"Good…..you have three days to rebuild the drones and one week to destroy him, we know a target such as the one we are hunting is nigh impossible to properly deal with so we're going to give you an extension on this deadline… succeed and you keep all your limbs… fail and we take all your limbs…well not all of them… maybe we'll just leave your head in a jar…" She spoke with a cold edge.
Stockman gave a terrified gulp as Karai snapped her fingers and vanished in a cloud of black smoke with the only thing she left behind being a bloody stain on the floor in the shape of a jagged 3 pronged emblem.
Geo: Bet you guys weren't expecting a musical number in this, huh? Let alone one from Hazbin Hotel! And we got the introduction to a few new characters, one is Karai! (And I know what your're thinking YES that means THEY will be showing up next) as well as...The ninja...Yeah... the ninja…
Red:… Anyway guys… we're planning on finally updating One Helluva Loud House next, so we hope you all look forward to that and also be sure to figure out all the shoutouts/references we added in the chapter.
(*1: Lincoln, I wanted to let you know that even if you feel that you have no place in the world, you should know that you have one here with my brother and I, my love.)
(*2: Thank you Gaz, it means a lot to me to hear you say that.)