"Dame Maria," her grace the Duchess Claes introduced, "May I introduce my elder sister, the Lady Leonarudo Romani. Leona, this is the Dame Maria Campbell, the knight whom Katarina is squiring beneath, and her fiancé, Vice-Director Rafael Walt of the Ministry."
Maria was in the middle of bowing in reply to properly acknowledge the introduction when Lady Romani—Dame Matthew's mother, if she remembered correctly—suddenly moved towards her. Before she could react, however, Rafael was suddenly there in front of her and—
"Lady Romani!" Rafael said with loud and almost Katarina-like enthusiasm, grabbing one of the hands that the lady had been in the process of raising and shaking it in enthusiastic greeting. "I'm honored to finally meet you! I've been a great admirer of your work. Tell me, how is your progress on a Magic Tool that utilized Light Magic coming along?"
The woman with the shockingly wide, definitely Katarina-esque smile faltered for a moment, and Maria had to raise an eyebrow at the blatant flattery. Still, the woman recovered, turning to speak to Rafael despite flicking to Maria. What? "Well, it's always nice to meet a fan, though I'm afraid there hasn't been any progress on that magic tool. I'm lacking in the participation of a Light Magic wielder, you see, though I hope to correct that soon…" The eyes drifted towards Maria again, and she was suddenly reminded of the Choir…
As she shivered, trying to step out of the woman's line of sight so as to lose her interest and cease drawing agro, Rafael smiled. "What a wonderful coincidence. You see, I happen to be a Light Magic wielder myself, and I have some experience with Magic Tool production. While it's a bit forward of me, I was wondering if you would allow me the honor of contributing to your research."
Lady Romani paused, while Duchess Claes stared at Rafael in… wait, was that horror on her face?
"What sort of experience do you have?" Lady Romani asked.
"Her grace the Duchess Claes said that I was a Vice-Director at the Ministry," Rafael said. "However, I should clarify that I am the Vice-Director of the Magic Tool Laboratory."
Lady Romani let go of him as if burned. "The Magic Tool Laboratory!" she exclaimed, pointing dramatically at him in a familiar, very Katarina-esque gesture. "So, you've been mocking me all along? She put you up to this, didn't she?-! Hex you, Larna Smith! Must you send your lackeys to mock me in my sister's own home?"
"Oh? Haven't you hear, Lady Romani?" Rafael said, leaning towards her with smile that made Maria think of Lady Mary for some reason. "Larna Smith has been demoted. She's no longer the Director of our department."
Lady Romani paused in her Katarina-like dramatics. "Really?"
"Oh, yes," Rafael said with a wide grin. "If you have the time, I'd be perfectly happy to explain to you the chain of events that led to it in minute detail, as well as the terrible indignities that have befallen her after her demotion."
The delighted sparkle that came to Lady Romani's eyes were… not Katarina-like. Far from it, in fact. Maria couldn't imagine her squire actually taking any sort of pleasure in the implication of someone else's suffering. "Oh? Why, that sounds like something I want to hear about. Why don't you and your fiancée join my husband and I for lunch, Vice-Director Walt, and you can tell me all about it."
"I'd be delighted…" Rafael said with a grin.
Duchess Claes and Maria stared at the two of them began chatting animatedly. Finally, Maria turned to her grace. "That is your sister?"
"Yes," Duchess Claes said, her face perfectly smooth and refined. "My elder sister."
"She is very… Katarina-like," Maria said diplomatically.
"She would say it was the inverse… but yes."
Maria nodded, then hesitantly reached up and patted the woman on the shoulder. "You have my condolences on your difficult life."
Her grace looked at her sharply. "I am not ashamed of my sister," she said with quiet menace.
"I realize," Maria said. "She seems a wonderful woman, who is very alike Katarina in some ways, and probably in others as well." She patted the duchess again. "As the woman who is Lady Katarina's friend and teacher, who has come to know her and her ways, I repeat: you have my condolences on your difficult life."
For a moment, her grace's eyes darted sideways. Then she sighed heavily, and in that sigh was the weight of the world. "Thank you," she said quietly.
Maria nodded. "If you will excuse me, your grace, I need to follow my fiancée."
"Yes, one shouldn't let one's fiancée wander off with strange women," her grace agreed.
She was more concerned about how Rafael had implicitly offered some of his blood to the woman. She tried not to feel betrayed (RAFAEL HAD NEVER OFFERED TO GIVE HER ANY OF HIS BLOOD!) but it was difficult! Argh, and just when Rafael might already be losing interest in her and looking for a new lover to arouse his interest!
Maria hurried faster.
A Mary Hunt Interlude
"This better be good Kieth," Mary said as she sat on the familiar sofa of the Claes sitting room they were in. Across from her, Sophia had a handkerchief blotting her nose while Nicol fussed over her.
Keith, who had opted to remain standing, merely looked grim, which… well, was a bit worrying, since until they'd entered the sitting room he'd in the same deliriously happy state Mary had been seeing him all week that she'd been visiting the Claes Manor. Either he'd been faking the attitude or this was actually serious. "Yesterday, The ADVERSARY And Enemy Of The Alliance came over to visit and told Katarina he loved her."
Mary rolled her eyes. "So what else is new?" For someone with a handkerchief over her nose, Sophia looked similarly unimpressed. Nicol, for his part, only looked politely interested.
"What is new is that this time, Katarina actually understood that he was serious," Keith said grimly.
Mary suddenly went cold, as if she'd been blasted with ice.
"What?-!" Sophia exclaimed, her handkerchief falling from her nose.
"How could you let this happen?-!" Mary cried, pointing at him condemningly.
"We trusted you to stop this sort of thing!" Sophia roared, copying her gesture.
"You should have gotten in the way like you always do!"
"You've managed to keep them apart for years, how did you manage to screw up now!"
"We have to do something! We have to stop this!"
"They decided they're going to get married, didn't they?"
"We could have him killed! I have blackmail material on Lady Ranni, she can tell me how to get in touch with the assassins she contracted to kill her brother."
Keith blinked. "Wait, Lady Ranni had her brother killed?"
"Keith, focus on what's important!"
The man had the gall to roll his eyes, and turned to Nicol. "Anything you'd like to add?"
Nicol actually seemed to think about it for a moment. "Good for him," he said. The man actually seemed to mean it!
Keith just nodded. He turned to face all of them again. "Anyway, as I was about to say before I was so rudely interrupted, Katarina rebuffed his declaration."
…
What?
"What?" Mary said.
"What?-!" Sophia exclaimed.
"What?" Nicol actually said.
"Initially," Keith said, seeming to stare at something only he could see, "she seemed to misunderstand and thought that his confession was the result of Maria picking Rafael over him—"
"What!" Mary, Sophia and even Nicol all exclaimed.
Keith raised a hand. "I know, I know, it makes no sense but that genuinely seemed to be sister's reasoning." He sighed. "You know how she is. Honestly, I can understand why Maria might have mistakenly thought big sister was a pimp."
…
What?
"Maria thought Katarina was a pimp?" Sophia repeated, sounding equally confused.
"Sophia, focus," Keith said. "As I was saying, big sister was all ready to misunderstand the situation, but The ADVERSARY And Enemy Of The Alliance's patience suddenly snapped like a twig, and he suddenly went on a rant about how much he loved her." He paused thoughtfully. "It… might not actually be wrong to say he suffered a bout of temporary insanity. But he made it clear in terms even big sister could, and did, understand that he loved her. And then he mentioned they should get married."
Ah. Mary understood now. She was in a nightmare, like those dreams where a cannibalistic Maria chopped her up with a giant butcher's knife and baked her still screaming parts into a pie. This was all a strange nightmare, and if she could force herself to wake up she would find herself in her bed at home, about to wake up to get ready to attend the party that Duchess Claes had invited her to…
"Sister's response was 'Ew'."
…
What?
"What?" Nicol said, blinking in confusion.
Keith, with long practice and experience, turned his head aside so as not to be stunned by Nicol fluttering his eyelashes. Really Keith, just admit you're in love with Nicol already and confess so that two more rivals would be out of the way! "Sister said 'ew'. Loudly and repeatedly, many times."
Ah. Mary wasn't in a nightmare after all, she was in a beautiful reality, a world full of infinite happy possibilities…
"AHEM!" Keith said loudly, and Mary blinked and focused on him again, even though— "Mary, please focus, I'm not done! Sister said that as her oldest friend, sister couldn't marry him as that would feel weird."
"She said that?" someone asked, and Mary was surprised to realize it was Nicol. "She actually said that?"
"Yes," Keith said, and why wasn't he more happy about this? this was the best news ever, they should be all celebrating just before their alliance broke apart as they turned against each other, they— "Big sister said, and I quote, 'it would be like marrying Keith—'"
Oh. OH!
Oh, Keith…
Mary was surprised she actually felt a moment of genuine empathy and pain for her friend before she was filled with vicious, triumphant joy at—
"'—or Mary or Sophia or Alan or Nicol'," Keith continued relentlessly. "'It's just ew'." By the end of it, his voice was flat.
Mary was surprised that Sophia actually looked towards her, sympathy on her face before the pale-haired girl's eye went wide and she started to grin, until she heard her own name mentioned.
For a moment, there was only silence in the room.
"She said…" Keith continued quietly, "that it's not that she didn't like him… but she only thought of him as a friend."
Silence fell on the sitting room like giant spiders dropping from the ceiling to devour them and use their bodies as puppets. Outside, they could hear the distant buzz of people at the party…
Mary clenched her fist. "No…" she said quietly. "No! That doesn't prove anything! Lady Katarina just… just… it doesn't prove anything!" Mary realized she was screaming and stifled her voice, reigning herself in. "Not a thing! She… she probably just said that because—"
"Mary. Stop," Keith said authoritatively. "I'm not done."
Mary glared at him, outraged at his daring to… to…
"It doesn't matter what we think of what she said," Keith continued, seeming to take her silence as assent. "What matters is that The ADVERSARY And Enemy Of The Alliance did not accept this. He kept insisting the he loved her, and didn't seem to take rejection well. When he started making a scene, my cousins and I… convinced him to leave." Keith looked around, making eye contact with Mary, Sophia and Nicol in turn. "I called you here to inform you and so that we could come to an agreement. We all know him. The ADVERSARY And Enemy Of The Alliance will not simply accept this. What are we going to do about it?"
…
"What?" Mary said in disbelief. "That's it? You just call us, tell us this and… and…!"
"Mary," Keith said. "Katarina is my sister, and I love her." He said that straight on, full of sincerity and with no ambiguity of any sort. "That doesn't change. That will NEVER change. No matter what she says." He stopped, swallowed. "I swore I would protect her, and I will. And right now, from the looks of things, I have to protect her from The ADVERSARY And Enemy Of The Alliance, because he seemed completely unable to understand rejection." Keith turned towards Mary and looked her full in the eyes. "Tell me Mary: if you told Katarina you loved her, and she rejected you, but you couldn't accept that rejection, what would you do? If you had the power, authority and resources of a prince and were a genius besides, what would you do? Because whatever you imagine you could do… he'll be doing it."
She knew why he was asking her this. They all did.
There was a sudden knock on the door that made them all jump. They turned and the door opened, revealing her dear Katarina in her lovely… clothes. When she saw them, she grinned happily. "Oh, there you are! I've been looking all over for you all!" She slipped into the room and closed the door behind her, then clapped her hands together in a pleading gesture and bowed her head. "Everyone, I need your help!"
Some habits are hard to stop.
"Of course, Lady Katarina!" Mary declared. She found herself on her feet, standing to look powerful and in control. "How can we help?"
Her dear Katarina took a deep breath. "Before I tell you that, I need to tell you something that happened yesterday…"
"—so he finally had the courage to confess… and I rejected him!" Mary sat there, listening in surreal confusion as her dear Katarina repeated what Keith had just told them… but with her own unique interpretation of things. "I know, I know, I'm a horrible friend! He must have struggled so hard to gather his courage and confess and I just… I'M TERRIBLE! I'M THE WORST!"
Mary exchanged glances with Sophia, Nicol and Keith, just to confirm that, yes, she was hearing all this right.
"So, I've decided to apologize for not respecting his confession," her dear Katarina said, and Mary's heart clenched. "I'll make it clear that even though I don't love him back, he's still a very dear, very important person in my life and I want us to still be friends." Mary's heart relaxed. "And that's where I need your help!"
"You want us to go with you when you explain this to him…?" Keith asked. It seemed to be where this was all leading up to.
Silly Mary, trying to predict your dear Katarina.
"What? Oh, yeah, I suppose you can, it will show him he still has friends," Katarina said. "No, I need you all to help me find a woman! Or a man."
…
"WHAT?" Mary, Sophia, Keith and Nicol chorused.
"Even though I can't accept his confession, he's still my friend and I want him to be happy!" her dear Katarina said with happy, firm, oblivious resolve. "While I'll still be his shield, and protect him from bad women just trying to get at him because of his position, and looks, I've decided that's not enough! So, I'm going to help him find love!"
Mary's jaw dropped, rendering her silent. It was the only response she could give.
"So everyone, I need you to help me find a woman—or a man—that he can fall in love with instead of me," Katarina said with cheerful determination. "So who will like him for him! Someone doesn't care about his sadistic personality and how annoyingly easy he makes everything look and can actually be a good queen for the kingdom!" Wait, did her dear Katarina just call The ADVERSARY And Enemy Of The Alliance 'sadistic'? "Someone his type!" A thought seemed to occur to her, and Mary watched worriedly, but it didn't seem to be too much for her dear Katarina. "Ah, but not Maria, all right? She's happy with Rafael. Besides, cuckolding is wrong and a trash fetish. Don't do it."
WHERE DID HER DEAR KATARINA LEARN THOSE WORDS?!
"Oh dead gods, I didn't imagine that part," she heard Keith mutter in horror.
"Nicol!" Katarina exclaimed, pointing. Nicol pointed at himself. "Yes, you. You're his best friend. Do you know what kind of girls he likes?"
Slowly, hesitantly, looking for all the world like he couldn't believe what he was doing, Nicol pointed at her dear Katarina.
"Yes, yes, he said," Katarina said dismissively. "I mean, what about me does he like? Is it my height? Is he into muscles? Blue eyes? Is he into girls that climb trees?"
Nicol, looking unsure, just pointed at her dear Katarina again.
Katarina rolled her eyes and sighed. "Ah, maybe I'll ask Alan. Ooh, maybe Alan can find his dirty pictures stash and bring them to me so I can figure out what kind of girl he likes!" Her dear Katarina crossed her arms and nodded her head in triumph, keeping her from seeing how everyone stared at her in horror. "I'll ask him. But when I find out, everyone, I'll need your help to find a nice girl (or boy) who looks just like that to introduce him to! Will you help me?"
Habits are hard to drop.
"Of course, Lady Katarina!" Mary's mouth said on instinct, because after years and years it was always the right answer and why should that change now, even as she still tried to wrap her head around what she was agreeing to. "You can count on me!"
"I'll help you too, Lady Katarina!"
"Of course I'll help you, big sister!"
"Of course, Lady Katarina."
"Great! Thanks you guys! You're the best! Tell you what, come over tomorrow before I have to leave to go back to Maria's and I'll make you all ice-cream as thanks!" Her dear Katarina titled her head. "Ah, the dancing music is starting up again! Come on Keith, we have to go host!"
"You go ahead sister," Keith said. "I just have something I need to tell them."
"Eh? Well, all right, but hurry up! Mother won't scold you for being late, but you know she'd scold me! Sorry guys, but I need to go! Talk to you later!"
And she was gone.
The four of them stared at the slightly ajar door, which her dear Katarina hadn't closed properly. They waited for her footsteps to fade away.
"What in the abyss just happened?" Nicol said.
"WHAT DID WE JUST AGREE TO?" Sophia exclaimed.
"WHERE DID SHE LEARN THOSE WORD?-!" Mary cried.
"I KNOW!" Keith agreed.
Outside, the party continued on.