Tracking down someone who managed to evade the most skilled trackers in every village was, predictably, extremely difficult. Even those who knew him best would have a hard time finding his bases. At the very least, he was given an easy one with the most obvious personalized secret hideout he'd ever seen. It gave tracks back into the Land of Fire to the Land of Waves. What took a while to figure out was the next being an abandoned lighthouse far off the coast.

Jiraiya covered his nose as he examined the rotting bodies left behind. He was expecting to find such disgusting sights in the last one but found only a burnt crater surrounded with traces of glass, indicating a great explosion of some kind. Needless to say, he was too late. Orochimaru took shelter in the land he pacified months ago. The thing he was more concerned for was what he was doing with Naruto in the two hideouts.

He walked out and leaned on the entrance wall, contemplating recent news. The Rice Daimyo lost control over the shinobi lords he only reigned in because Orochimaru cooperated with him. It was why he expected to find him outside of the Land of Rice, but that didn't work out. Either the two had a falling out or something happened to make Akio illegitimate under the eyes of the ninja. As much as he wanted to, there was a good chance he'd spark an international incident from going to check in person without a clear hideout in mind.

"Going into the other Great Nations will do more or less the same." Sighing, he walked towards the water. "Land of Grass then. Or maybe even the Land of Wind with our alliance." He tilted his head in thought. "Maybe past the Land of Wind to the Land of Demons?" It was a strange, ancient place where no one would look for him. "Eh, not his style at all, which might make it the perfect place to hide."

It might be that he returned to the Land of Sea where so many of his odd one-off experiment projects were, but they raided what had to be every base off of Anko's information. He could see a few bases in the Land of Hills where the Village Hidden in the Waterfalls was. Trouble was he needed more than his own thoughts on Orochimaru to go off on. Everything happening had to open an opportunity somewhere.

Punching his own hand, he saw one. "Back to the Land of Steam!" If he couldn't use one daimyo in a precarious position, there was no harm in taking advantage of another, regardless of his land's Hidden Village.

Something else felt amiss. Too much was happening and however his old teammate liked indulging in danger, moving shop wasn't like him. At the same time, he didn't seem to have much of a choice with no legitimate full proof heir to go from Tadanaga. He would see for himself.

It took barely a half hour to cross from the Land of Rice into the Land of Steam. When Suigetsu stopped to rest, so did his unwanted tagalongs. They hadn't said a word since he gave them his honest assessment of Naruto as a person. Even the day after, they kept going along, the silence between them only growing. None of them were the ones that broke it.

Two dozen shinobi surrounded them in the forest, vapor forehead protectors signifying their loyalty. As stern as those who stepped forward looked, many wavered. Due to recent events, the sensor ninja that informed their colleagues were bravely patriotic, even if it was foolish. Yet another potential tragedy so soon would destroy what was left of their reputation.

"Who a—" The Steam jonin stared as they kept going onward, sparing their collective existences not so much as a glance.

Another twitched. "Hey!"

"Calm down." A third commanded. "Let's not jump to hostilities."

He glared at the back of their heads. "You heard what our sensors said!" Even if they seemed beyond them as far as chakra went, they could still win with tactics. "What else are they here for?!"

"I agree." Yet another went through several hand seals and slammed them down, erecting a mud wall from far beneath the snow in front of their group.

All four stopped, shared looks between themselves, and tilted their heads. Killing them would be easy and sparing them invited other troubles. One didn't want to, three didn't care, and two were curious as to who was going to handle it. They were just about to raise their hands to play for it when the Steam ninja reached their own majority, aiming to take out the most unassuming signature first.

Kunai and shuriken went for his vitals and veered around him back into theirs at far greater force. He burst into laughter, neither sinister nor malicious. It was genuinely amusing. Pure unadulterated irony.

"Man!" Naruto walked past his group towards them. "That's funny." He held up a hand just as one of the jonin flickered at him and a good deal of his insides blew out his back, painting the snow red, before he could slash his throat with a blade.

"E-Explosion Style!" One of the chunin yelled while going through hand signs.

"You chose me because I seemed like the weakest one, right?!" He asked, ignoring the other bad guess and spikes of earth that erupted to skewer him turning to mud before they could. "Even if you didn't, it's still pretty funny!" He ran behind a tree inhabited by a Steam ninja out of the way of a fireball and channeled lightning chakra through it, electrocuting him through the snow seeping water through the otherwise insulating material, strong enough to make the entire thing burst into flames. "Just look!" Genjutsu he was put under was dispelled by Kurama before he was even aware of them. "I'm the absolute worst you could've picked!"

Karin and Jugo shook their heads at their supposed leader running circles, figuratively and literally, around them, showing off his ridiculous application of chakra control and elemental transformation. Suigetsu couldn't help but feel annoyed at last. He wanted to see what would happen out of boredom and curiosity, but he was taking too long. It all could've ended the moment it started. From what he could see and rightfully deduced was Naruto just wanted to feel better about himself., even if he would feel empty when it was over.

A few of the sensors and half the other shinobi either ran off or died. Only one of the jonin remained. Naruto had a chunin encased in earth up to his neck and was spouting water made of chakra from his palm into his face, letting the cold finish the trapping with ice. Hands no longer bandaged, he blew flames over them to prevent frostbite. That gave a much needed opportunity.

Falling to his hands and knees before him, the highest ranking ninja among them put his protected forehead against the snow. "I beg you for your forgiveness and ask that you spare the lives of my comrades!"

"...Huh?" Naruto blinked, utterly mystified. "I… I just killed, like, half of them." He tilted his head. "Aren't you going to tell me to go fuck myself and go down fighting?" For the first time, he felt sorry for someone he didn't know. "Did I hit you in the head too hard or not hard enough? I didn't mean it; let me ju—"

"He's fine, you jackass!" Karin yelled, eye twitching at his audacity. She conjured her chains to restrain him before she noticed another shift in Suigetsu's chakra.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked the ninja, approaching his sorry form. "Where is your pride as a man?" He grit his pointed teeth. "As a shinobi of your village!?"

He looked up in confusion. "We..can't win. Not against just one of you. Besides, we're the aggressors here."

"And what of it?!" Suigetsu hands balled into fists. "Did you get through your entire life by dropping to your hands and knees every time you stepped over someone?! What did you expect to happen?!"

"I… I don't know what you want me to say."

He relaxed, groaning in disgust. "Of course you don't; your village lost the right to call you worker drones ninja ages ago." He stepped to the left and another him stepped out from his body to the right. "Someone should've killed you all then."

"Wai–" Tendrils of water emerged from the strange clone, grabbed him, and dragged his body towards its increasingly less human form.

The other shinobi moved to run but were snatched by far quicker aquatic limbs. Each was forced, crying and screaming, into a sphere of water. None could move their hands to make jutsu and streaming lightning chakra would've shocked them all. Water around their heads lowered below their necks, giving them space to breathe. An overly large sword cleaved their heads off with a single strike before they could take one.

Blood shot out of their neck stumps, steaming in the cold air. It splattered over Suigetsu and swerved around Naruto on to the ground. The living blob surged back to the former and rejoined his body mass. Karin flinched at the bodies sinking into the snow while the rest were looking back in the direction they were headed.

"Okay, what's going on, Suigetsu? She asked.

He rolled his eyes and put the executioner's blade behind back. "Stick to playing therapist for the show off." He took lead once more. "You're just like those dead idiots."

She shot him a look. "What are you even talking about?"

Naruto followed after him next to a sighing Jugo. "He's not wrong." He caught a chain whipping out of her to strike his face. "Seriously, was this how everyone in our clan acted?"

"Explain, if you understand so much."

He tilted his head, recalling his brief albeit phenomenal career as a ninja. "Well…" Beyond the patriotic posturing levied on the occupation, there was the underlying brotherhood between comrades and pride in victory and survival, even when missions went awry. "...Huh." He kept walking, knowing she'd only just tasted what the life was like and not wanting to feel nostalgic. "I couldn't explain it to you even if I wanted to."

No longer suppressing his signature, she saw his chakra sparkle. "Were you really happy?"

Pain contorted his face for a moment before giving way to a scowl. "Until I realized I was surrounded by lies; even when I left, I didn't realize just how much there were." He didn't want to ever go any deeper and seeing that woman again would bring him no resolution.

She parted her lips to say something when Jugo, pouting, embraced him happily in his best attempt to be reluctant. The warmth and blush on his face made her smile. While Naruto vainly tried to separate from him without hurting him, she focused on the other problem child. It wasn't the first time she saw him insult a ninja for what he saw as shameful displays, but it was the first time he was so passionate, really the first time she ever saw him care about something.

The ragtag ambush team's annihilation wouldn't go unnoticed, being made of a few extra roaming patrol squads deployed in the aftermath of the Onsen City bombing. Its runaway survivors would inform the others regardless. Nothing the Steam could throw at them would pose a challenge though, but they, as the encounter concluded, would attempt unnecessary resistance anyway. Whatever would happen, in the eyes of almost all the four, would happen.

Free of surveillance, Anko could do anything except what she really wanted. It made her regret neutralizing Kakashi so soon. At the very least, she could amuse herself by eluding him until the point of insanity, however unwise that was. Training alone, while necessary, was boring and reminded her of someone she wished dead already. Hana did come by her house some time ago, but she couldn't have an honest talk with her about recent events until she was a jonin, ignoring what she couldn't talk about at all.

'Anko Mitarashi.'

She jumped from her couch, grinning. 'It's about damn time.'

Practically leaping, she closed the distance between her hallway and her room in a second. Her hands were a blur as she created the appropriate mixture to unseal her secret drawer. The same could be said of her entire body when she exchanged clothes. While she transformed to leave, she remembered someone worse than Kakashi could be watching and realized she wouldn't have been contacted by Root if she was in the same instant. The beautiful doll was escorting her to her master in little time at all.

Danzo remained stalwart as she arrived. "There has been a concerning incident, but Naruto Uzumaki may not be involved."

"Then why the hell did you call me?" She twitched.

"Because one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja's remains were robbed."

"Why the he—" Freezing, she remembered. "Limelight."

He nodded. "Orochimaru may be acting without his assistance, if this truly is Orochimaru."

"He wouldn't need Naruto for this." Her brow furrowed beneath her mask. "If he were going to use Limelight on the village, he would've already done it.' She groaned. "But he's the only one outside the Land of Fire that knows about it. Are you sure this isn't Kakuzu or some trophy hunter?"

"Reports from the Fire Monks say they were beset by powerful shinobi from all across the lands."

"That…sounds like Orochimaru, but it can't be: even if we pissed him off enough for him to try using it, he'd need way more than that to keep the other villages from banding together out of concern to stop him."

"Which is why I have my doubts." His visible eye was more dour than usual. "Matters like these are not coincidences. Someone made a mistake."

Anko side-eyed him before blinking. "Ape-looking shitheel."

"I assume you mean Asuma Sarutobi." He looked down. "Or perhaps the current daimyo has forgotten his place after all these years." Her scoffing brought his gaze back up.

"After that trash fire of a coup?" She shook her head. "He couldn't stop his own men from killing each other over something he didn't even want!"

"Then I will have him watched. You, having the most experience out of anyone, will go to the Fire Temple with my agents."

"What about Hinata?"

"Hinata Hyuga, Sai, and Torune Aburame are already under suspicion. Should Hinata disappear with the same squad, you and I will be blamed. You've both proven capable, and I am certain you can handle this on your lonesome alongside my agents."

She thought about it for a moment and grinned. "Well, I want her with me, and you're going to make it happen."

"Am I?" Danzo's tone was almost threatening.

"You got Blowjob Slug Princess to let us operate against a daimyo under her direct authority; you can, at the very least, make her glorified parole officer think she's under his watch." She gave a hearty laugh. "The Yamanaka you had talk in my mind can do it."

"You do know what will happen if such tampering is discovered, yes?"

She nodded. "If he's good enough to be your message boy, he's good enough to alter memories and make fake ones." A thought made her pout. "Or did you already do that and make the mistake of having him go into her cute little head?"

"I do not take unnecessary risks, and I did not expect you to be able to implant mind traps." He nearly hummed, having honestly considered the former.

"I can't." Anko licked her lips as she narrowed her eyes. "She just knows who she belongs to."

"Ominous." His hand gripped his cane harder. "I will not hear anymore of Hinata Hyuga at this time." The scowl on her face beneath the mask was visible in his imagination. "We have our duty to the village to fulfill."

Her anger flared for a moment before fading. "...Do you want a Hyuga agent or not?" She would've smirked at him perking up ever so slightly if she wasn't compromising. "The all-seeing eyes of the Byakugan to spy on absolutely anyone with a proficient owner that will do whatever I, your partner, tells her to." It was needless to say firm rules needed to be set. "I stay with her at all times, you let us pick what agents accompany us if we need them, we get called back if you hear news of Naruto or Orochimaru, and I get access to Root's records." That last condition was impossible, but she was willing to test her luck.

"I cannot freely divulge information of our operations because I do not keep such things." His hand relaxed. "I presume you have actions you do not wish her to perform?"

She nodded. "No fucking and no seduction for obvious reasons." Tilting her head from side to side, she weighed another issue she didn't think much of in comparison. "I'd say no to her killing and torturing kids, but it's probably better if she gets used to it now than later when she'll be blaming herself for it happening."

Neither surprised him, knowing her little love affair with Naruto was their greatest strength against him and Anko had already brutalized dozens of children assisting with Orochimaru's experimentation. "...Done."

"Good." She grinned and turned to his kneeling agent. "Hey, baby, how do you feel about playing with me rather than this dirty old man?"

She lifted her head. "Will it assist in accomplishing our mission's objective?"

"You…" She hung her own. "I can't do this with a living sex doll." Glancing over, she appraised her for the umpteenth time. "What a waste."

"I can be whatever you want me to be," she purred in a far more lively voice.

"Except I know you're faking it." Focusing back on Danzo, she sighed. "Get your Yamanaka on it, and we'll go as soon as Hinata's dressed up." She turned as he nodded before glaring back at him. "If you keep quiet about their movements or try to get into my head to steal control over her, I'll kill you."

"I know," he deadpanned.

"Good." She walked back into the darkness, shadows naturally suiting her. "I'm glad we understand each other."

The deeper the snake crawled beneath the roots, the more the stained flower would adapt.

After her breakdown in Anko's arms, Hinata had taken to roaming the village between training in search of things to do. It gave her anbu tail more work, but she didn't care, viewing him as a nuisance blocking her from more sensei. The Leaf was one of the biggest settlements in the entire world, so she thought she could find something that interested her other than pressing flowers. Someone else she knew was doing the same, trying to forget. Of course, they ran into each other alone going down the same alley shortcut.

Sakura froze at the sight of her, blinked, and jumped. "...Hinata?!"

"Yes?" She answered, implicitly questioning her reaction.

"You're outside the Hyuga Compound." She scoffed. "You're alright!" Looking away and fidgeting, she tried ordering her stream of thoughts. "I was on a really shitty mission wh—" She stopped herself, realizing it wasn't a good idea to tell her of all people information about that certain someone in their lives.

"Was there something you wished to tell me or did you just want to talk?"

She flinched at her cold tone. "It's just… The last time I saw you was after…" Trailing off, she stared at the familiar face of a girl she never really knew. "...It's been a while, you know?"

"I know."

"Well, u—" Her eyes widened, remembering. "What was that whole thing with Anko-sensei about?" The girl's complete lack of reaction was unnerving. "You were supposed to stay in the village."

"We trained since Anko-sensei was feeling off physically, cried over Naruto, and talked each other down from going after him."

"Good thing you both did." Sakura gave a sad smile. "I wish things were different." Tilting her head fondly at a memory, she giggled. "When we were back in the academy, I saw you staring at him so many times, but I thought you just found him weird because he's the exact opposite of a Hyuga!" Her lips turned into a frown. "How could I not see it?" Thinking of the way they all treated him nearly brought tears to her eyes. "How..could I…"

"He's been hurt by everyone he's ever known." Pride and affection flared in her chest. "Except for me." She put her hands over to feel the thump of her heart. "I let him know what care, admiration, love, and pleasure from another person was." Her blush at that last bit amused her.

She looked away out of embarrassment. "I-I'm really happy for you two." Really, she was jealous she had a relationship like that, but she meant what she said. "I just don't know what's going to happen now with him being…"

"It changes nothing." Hinata frowned.

Her nods were rapid, not wanting to insinuate anything bad. "Yeah bu—"

"But what?" She stepped forward, making her step back. "Well?" Her gaze lingered on her uneasy form before she had a thought. "Does Sasuke even look at you, Sakura?"

An insecurity she hadn't dealt with at all pained her chest. "...What?

"Oh, come on." A cruel smile formed on her sweet face. "You know what I'm talking about."

"I… He… We're…" The moment they had after reporting their recent mission's success came to mind. "W-We've gotten really close just sitting next to each other!" Regret and shame seared her entire body at how ridiculous she sounded.

With a tilt of her head, her smile widened. "Did you kiss?" She stepped forward, pressuring her more. "Did he make a woman out of you?" Her question came as a husky whisper.

The once shy quiet girl only noticeable for her blank eyes was towering over her increasingly withdrawing form. "N-N-N-N-Nooooooo." She eeked out.

She strolled to her side and leaned ever so sweetly to ease her lips by her ear. "Then he never will."

All the cold air surrounding them could never match the icy feeling in her heart. Her old classmate left her there, gratified with having destroyed her pride as a woman. She roamed the village aimlessly after a few minutes. Everything around her was a blur until she saw the absolute worst person she could. His smile at her presence was innocent and warm in the most inconvenient way possible.

"Sakura," Sasuke greeted.

She turned and ran off again, tears streaming down her cheeks. As much as she didn't want to, she sobbed and cried the entire time. What Hinata said, however spiteful, had some truth: he never looked at her as a woman. They were young, but that only brought into question her personality. It made her feel only worse.

Having no context for this outburst, he stood still in utter confusion. "Did… Did I do something?"

Hinata observed it all from a great distance away with her Byakugan. Keeping in her laughter when Sakura was roaming had her shaking, but she couldn't help falling into a fit of sadistic giggling when Sasuke came into the picture. Even if she meant nothing by what she wanted to say about her relationship with Naruto, it felt all too good. Really, she'd been yearning to feel what she did when torturing those two in the Land of Rice, even if deep down she thought it wrong. She was so absorbed by it she didn't even notice her assigned agent wasn't in her range anymore.

Even if someone was aware of her situation, there was no returning her to the person she once was. The same could be said of her love. For better or worse, they changed as people often did, though their feelings were the same. Innocence, for all its blessings, kept children from becoming adults. On the other hand, what they were getting used to wasn't good at all.

The presence of anbu operatives during a meeting with the Hokage was a sign of several things: the shinobi being summoned or discussed was going to die or wish he was, something very important was happening, or the anbu wanted you to join. Many would run and get caught. It was one of the most protected places in the entire world, though an incident last year brought that into question. Considering the status of the one summoned, he knew what it was. It was impossible for it to be either of the other two.

Asuma Sarutobi squeezed the glowing tip of his cigarette out. "Lady Hokage." He turned to the kneeling masked man. "Brother."

"Sarutobi." Tsunade sighed and shook her head. " One of the Twelve Guardian Ninja's graves was robbed."

Anger flashed on his face."Where is the resp—" He froze and caught what was left of his cigarette after it fell from his mouth. "Kitane, Tou, Seito, or Nauma?"

"Seito."

He grit his teeth. "Limelight." Scoffing, he grabbed for his cigarettes with his other hand out of habit. "Damn it." He crushed the used one. " Orochimaru's really going to resort to that failure of a jutsu?

"Orochimaru wasn't reported among the graverobbing ninja," she said, voice grave.

"Who else could it be? Even he said a mistake could have its uses." He stared at her silent sitting figure before realization struck. "Chiriku and I killed everyone who was left, Lady Tsunade. I slit Seiki's throat and cut through Kazuma's lungs and heart."

"But you didn't dispose of the bodies."

He scowled for a moment before sighing. "...They were my comrades once. Don't you think leaving them to rot was enough?"

She tilted her head, understanding his sentiment. "I can't blame you for that, but other people will, Asuma." Shaking it, she held back the urge to groan. "Chiriku says he and the monks are on it, but I doubt they'll be enough."

"I'm willing to go right now."

"The hostiles are a group of independent ninja from different lands." She frowned at his questioning look. "I'm afraid I can't send you because of how close you are."

"I'll take all the blame." His gaze was all too determined. "Just put me with a team, and we'll go help Chiriku." Even if he knew he was in the wrong for asking, he couldn't help it.

A cruel albeit reasonable idea courtesy of Danzo's recent demands sparked in her head. "...Then I'll have Ino Yamanaka go with you."

"What?!" He walked to her desk and set his hands on it. "Lady Hokage, that would put her in danger!"

"But it would keep you from doing anything stupid." She narrowed her eyes, making him step back.

"That's…" Giving a laugh, he looked away in thought. "...Not wrong but still a horrible idea after everything." Her stare told him to answer. "Alright. Think you can throw Shikamaru in there for good measure?" He joked.

"He's already on it," his brother informed.

He looked from him to Tsunade. "...Did he convince you to fuck with me or is this seriously happening?"

"It's happening, Asuma." She looked down. "He and his partner were the ones that spotted the group first."

"Well…shit."

That was all that could be said.

Miles away from the Fire Temple in the mountains was a small encampment. Silhouettes stood and sat in front of a fire. A few were missing though. Tents were around them, hiding their inhabitants from the others. Looming over a slumbering figure, a kunai glinted in the dark from stray rays of the fire's light.

"I cannot be killed in such a way, sister." The same figure behind her said.

Fuen glanced back to see its skull mask. "You are no sister of mine, abomination."

"The Priestess is a slave to fate and enchains you for it."

"Demon-loving heretic!"

A beautiful young woman by the fire sighed. "They're at it again." She smiled at another in a blue qipao. "Aya, was it?" Her head tilted sweetly at her dirty look. "Who is 'Misao' anyway?"

"Don't talk to me, slut," she spat.

"Oh, the irony," her 'friend' in a colorful kimono said, getting closer to the other woman. "She fucks little boys," she whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

Aya rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you they were old enough?"

"City girl, huh?" The beautiful woman leaned closer to Reina.

She inched away. "W-Well, I used to be a Hidden Grass ni—" A lick to her cheek sent her jumping towards Aya.

The woman's tongue slid over her own lips. "You both have a wind chakra affinity." Her smile grew at the girl taking shelter behind her supposed ally. "How rare."

"Y-Y-You…" A chill ran down her spine. "...You can taste chakra?"

She giggled. "It leaks through the chakra network, like the rapids of a river making water crash against the bank."

"But that's…"

Aya gave an irritated sigh, not bothering to remove the woman using her as a shield. "Your accent, your attitude, and those ringed eyes of yours." Really, it was their similar choice in fashion and flirtatious demeanor. "...Disgusting." Her pretty face scrunched.

"Come on." The woman whined. "Let's make up with a hot kiss."

"That's enough, Fuka." Kazuma, appearing at her side, said, rings of his pewter staff clinking.

She pouted, the mole below her lips accentuating the overly cute expression. "I was just being friendly, 'Furido.'"

"You have a strange idea of what friendliness is."

Sighing, she backed off, knowing he was threatening her. "Such a buzzkill." She huffed. "You're normally a lot more fun, but here we are playing with corpses; how boring."

He looked to the new additions of his group and twitched at the heated theological debate in the background. "Be patient." His hand tightened on the shaft. "We're almost done."

They weren't.

AN: Naruto filler is such a mixed bag. On one hand, you have side characters being relevant. On the other hand, you have a bunch of wackass plots and false character development since it's not canon. I'm using it regardless, really I have been using bits and pieces of it for a while now.

Haha! The OCs are back. I totally didn't waste your time having that one scene with them eating with the short-lived Triumvirate of the Land of Rice. No sirree. They're here to expand on certain things and give characters things to do and lead to other happenings. God I love chain reactions.

And Jiraiya had to come back: it's chapter 69

This site's been weird lately. My recent chapters don't appear to be loaded in or lead to an error on some occasions, though that just might be me going off the navigator from whatever chapter I'm refreshing myself on. Tell me if you have any issues just so I know. Reminds me of when the views weren't processing for a while so the number remained the same while I was still getting new reviews.

Oh, and the painfully obvious AI socks. Like, maybe they're legit and it's a bunch of young people using chatgpt to sound exactly the same, but it's still AI. I'm not gonna give you any money, and neither are most other fanfic writers. If you want that, get noticed on your platform of choice and offer commissions. Just don't be surprised by what you get asked to do. Freelance work is dirty, and no one can change that sadly.

Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of a review or PM...if it's actually you, please.