Decided I wanted to try something with Alice's perspective. A little tricky because we haven't really seen that much of her personality. So it is what it is. Wanted to go for something that was more someone going through a freak-out then a more composed thought process, so it's a little short, and I broke a few writing rules to make it work. You might see a few doubled up words, because why would Alice care about proper writing sentence structure in her own head?
Also as a warning, this has only had one or two editing passes. So it might be a bit rough.
As soon as her face hit the pillow Alice screamed, her shitty synthetic voice box registering the sound as some sort of attempt at whatever the hell 'death metal' was. Her modulated voice echoing back against itself for a solid minute before she ran out of breath. A sobbing hiccup escaping her throat while her hands found their way up to her throat. Fingernails digging painfully into her flesh. At that moment she wanted nothing more then to rip the damn Lennox out of her and toss it into the trash bin next to her discarded song lyrics.
"What the fuck!" Rolling over, her arms ceased their quest before finding their way to her eyes. Blocking her view of the teal apartment ceiling. Today had been such a shitty day. What should have been a good day, a great day, had instead turned into yet another example of how the world wanted to continue the storm of radioactive piss that constantly rained on all of her efforts. It had started off well enough, any day she had a chance to really go out and sing her heart out did. The morning and afternoon had passed in the usual equipment checks and flutter of nerves that it always did. Hours slipping away as she checked the clock again and again. Nervous energy subsuming her.
Hell she'd had hope, Jun's little Sis brought some serious talent to the guitar, it might have been exactly what they needed to really break into the scene. It had taken quite a lot of work to recruit her. Hell they'd all but had to beg her to join them for the set.
She kind of...Regretted doing that now.
It was hard not to compare herself to the girl, to see all the extra years of wasted effort put plainly on display next to someone who could actually sing.
She had busted her ass for a whole year, giving scop music lessons to all the brats of the Tyger Claw elites. Earning pitiful handful after handful of eddies because of the shitty 'family discount.'
Saved up enough for this shitty box that scratched at her throat every single time she screamed.
For what? Despite all the promises, all the assurances, even with the damn thing nothing had changed. She loved music with all her heart, had since she was knee high, but it was clear to her that the world just didn't love her music.
-And goddamn it fucking Carmen! Showing up just to ruin the one good thing she had going for her. She pulled her arms behind her head and grabbed the pillow ripping it out from its place as a headrest and shoving it in front of her face again.
"Fucking Carmen!" The Lennox in her throat shook, and she could practically feel the muscles around it swelling up from the heat. Her voice muffled, but still sounding like a goddamn wood chipper.
Really though it's what had come after, that was what had rubbed salt into the wound. Motoko had just walked back out there alone and upstaged her.
Who just fucking does that! Why?
Had she been so offended by their music that she felt she had to fucking prove herself? Right then and there? While they where still in the building!
She breathed out, slowly letting her thoughts settle. She wasn't angry at Jun's Sis... Okay maybe she was a little, but that had more to do with her own skill then it did seeing someone leagues ahead of her, someone that was seemingly just humoring her as a favor to her brother.
She knew she wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination, once you'd practiced enough music you could, more or less play in your sleep. Hell there were some shards she knew of that literally let you do that to help overcome stage fright. She'd always enjoyed watching the 'behind the scenes' videos where performers who used them watched their 'sleepwalking' selves do many a thing they'd never try themselves on a stage, and proceed to pale heavily.
That said she was more then self aware herself to know that she wasn't 'good enough' to break out on her own, hell her bank account alone was proof of that these days.
Another inarticulate scream met the pillow case.
Maybe, maybe, she couldn't sing, but she could still play with the best of them. Sure she wasn't Eurodyne, but who the hell was these days? She could play, and she would.
To hell with joining the gang, to hell with running a bar. She would show her family, her ex, everyone. Just how high she could rise. A smirk crossed her face for a moment as she thought.
'What was that line? Push through hell and rise?'
Even if she had to beg, and kick, and scream her heart out. She would make them remember her.
Wiping at her eyes, she pulled up her agent and started typing a message. She had a lot of work to do, but she sure as shit wasn't giving up yet. Not with what she'd been waiting for her whole life so close at hand.
So hopefully this wasn't too bad. Just felt like trying something a little different, and Alice seemed like a 'fun' perspective. That said because we can still only infer some things I kept it mostly short and vague. Now if you excuse me, I have to go and do something to cheer myself up after this writing exercise.