I'm not completely sure how it happened, but I couldn't deny the facts.

Somehow, I had been taken from the normal world, and I was now living in what was supposed to be a fictional universe. One moment I was in my world, then the next I was waking up in the very dangerous world of Dragon Ball Z.

I couldn't tell you how or why I was here. For the life of me, I couldn't remember what happened. But that was probably the point. It's generally accepted that to be reincarnated you first have to die, and who wants to remember their death?

Not me, that's for damn sure. I had more important things on my mind. Like what the hell was I going to do now? I was stuck in a universe filled with causal planet-buster-level fighters.

And I'm literally one of the weakest people alive, I thought looking at my reflection in a nearby window. It had been five days since I first saw my new face and I was still horrified every time I saw it.

I wasn't disfigured and I hadn't been turned into a girl—because, of course, it wouldn't be something simple like that.

I wasn't even human anymore.

And I wasn't even a cool alien like a Namekian or a Saiyan. The face reflecting back at me was that of a humanoid pig.

A pig!

I turned away from the window in disgust. Whoever, or whatever was responsible for dumping my soul into Oolong's body had a really sick sense of humor. They were probably watching me right now, laughing their ass off.

Well, the joke is on them because I'm going to make this work! I glared at the empty air in front of me. Being Oolong sucked...it really, really sucked, but I wasn't going to be a pig for long.

For the past five days, I'd thought day and night about how I could get out of my current predicament.

My plan was simple: work with Goku and Bulma.

Oolong was the first person in the series to make a wish using the Dragon Balls. Now that I was Oolong, that wish was mine. And I wasn't going to waste it on a pair of panties.

In the distance, not too far away from Aru Village, I could see two black dots drawing closer. One flying through the sky, and the other driving on the ground.

I breathed a sigh of relief and stood up. Goku and Bulma were finally here. Five days might not sound like long—but when you're stuck in the body of a three-foot-tall pig, every day feels like an eternity.

I moved back on the roof I had been sitting on so Goku and Bulma wouldn't see me.

It didn't take them long to reach the village. "This place is a ghost town," Bulma muttered, looking around. "There's no one here."

Goku floated through the quiet streets on his cloud. "No, people are here," he said. "I can feel it."

"Are you sure, Goku?" Bulma asked. She looked down at the location of the blinking dot on her Dragon Radar. "I think the only thing here is the Dragon Ball!"

Goku jumped down off his cloud and knocked loudly on the nearest door. "Hellooo!" he called. "I know you're in there! Why won't you answer?"

There was no reply. No one peeked through the window. No one came to the door.

"I hope they're not in some sort of trouble," Bulma said, trying to look through the window.

Goku slammed his fist right through the door. The doorknob fell to the ground.

Shit, he really is strong. I thought nervously, watching as Goku stepped inside the house. In a few minutes, I'd be on the receiving end of one of those punches and I was not looking forward to it.

"DIE MONSTER!" came a cry from the darkness.

Before Goku knew what was happening, an ax blade came crashing down on his head. Bulma screamed, but I wasn't worried. There was a silent pause, then a cracking noise filled the air.

The ax shattered, steel blade and all.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Goku yelled. "What was that about it?"

"It—it didn't work?" stammered the man with the ax.

Even from across the street, I could see the horrified realization on his face.

"Please forgive me!" the man begged, dropping to his knees. "I'll give you everything I have! All my money! My house and my food! Just please, Lord Oolong, please spare my daughter!"

"Oolong?" Goku said still holding his head. "Who're you calling Oolong?"

"You're not...Oolong?" the man asked.

Goku shook his head.

"You're—you're not Oolong!" the man laughed, dashing out of the house. "He's not Oolong! He's not Oolong!"

Hearing his shouts, the people of Aru Village opened their doors and poured into the street. Cries of "He's not Oolong!" echoed through the village.

During the commotion, I clapped my hands together and—POOF! I turned into an average housefly. Small and harmless.

While Goku and Bulma were learning about who 'Oolong the Terrible' was and how'd he been terrorizing Aru Village, I flew down from the roof and looked for Grandma Paozu—the old lady who had the six-star Dragon Ball.

When I saw Grandma Paozu I only hesitated for a brief moment. I was literally about to mug an elderly woman. A week ago I would have never even thought to do such a thing.

A week ago you weren't a pig, I told myself and flew forward. Grandma Paozu was moving slower than the rest of the villagers and while I didn't particularly like to think of myself as a predator preying on the weakest link of the herd, the comparison wasn't lost on me.

POOF!

In a puff of smoke, I transformed again. This time into a six-foot-tall normal-looking human. I set my hand on Grandma Paozu's shoulder to get her attention. When she turned around, I stuck the kitchen knife I brought with me under her chin.

"Don't make a sound," I whispered harshly. Gripping her shoulder, I pulled her away from the crowd. "Follow me if you want those girls I kidnapped back."

Grandma Paozu gasped. "Y-you're Oolong?"

I ignored her question and led her to an abandoned house. Pushing her through the doorway I looked back at the crowd in the street before ducking inside myself.

Tied up in the living room of the house were the three girls Oolong had kidnapped from the village before I took over his body. None of them looked happy and it wasn't because Oolong had kidnapped them. Oolong was a pushover who gave the girls anything they wanted. When I took over his pig body I put a stop to that and now the girls were pissed. They knew that when they went home it'd be back to doing chores and going to school.

"Sarah! Lexi! Little Flower!" Grandma Paozu tried to rush toward the girls. I grabbed her arm holding her in place.

"Not so fast," I said, moving to stand between her and the three girls. "I brought you here to make a trade. The three girls for the Dragon Ball."

Grandma Paozu didn't have a clue what I was talking about. "Dragon Ball?" she asked.

Right, she doesn't even know what her family's been passing down, I thought and motioned to her apron. "That shiny orange ball you have is called a Dragon Ball and I want it."

Grandma Paozu dug around in the pockets of her apron. "My family has been passing this down for generations," she said, pulling out a crystal ball with six tiny stars glowing inside.

"A real Dragon Ball," I breathed, amazed at the sight. "If you give me that ball, I will return all three girls."

To her credit, Grandma Paozu only hesitated for the briefest of moments before handing over her family heirloom. I handed her the knife and stepped out of the way so she could cut the ropes I used to tie the girls up.

As I walked out of the house, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the Dragon Ball. I stared down at the mystical ball in awe. I can't believe I'm holding an actual Dragon Ball!

"Oolong is here!"

So lost in the wonder of holding such a powerful item in my hand, I didn't notice Grandma Paozu usher the three kidnapped girls out of the house. Or them rushing toward the crowd and pointing in my direction.

I looked back and saw the cruel smirks on the girl's faces. The people of Aru Village were staring at me with hate in their eyes, which was understandable since to them I was the sicko who had been kidnapping underage girls.

The girls are that mad that I brought them back? I wondered as a few male villagers stepped forward. I sighed and stuck the Dragon Ball in the pocket of my pants.

My body was extremely weak, but I wasn't completely helpless. I clapped my hands together and—POOF!

I transformed into a ten-foot-tall red ogre with bull horns on my head and boar tusks on my face. The villagers screamed in terror, their fleeting bravery vanishing as quickly as it came when they saw my monstrous form.

"Goku, don't just stand there! You have to hide! Oolong is dangerous!" Bulma shouted as she retreated inside Sherman's house and slammed the door shut.

In less than a minute every door and window in every house in Aru Village was shut and locked.

Goku and I stood alone in the empty street.

"Just a few hours ago those girls didn't want to come back here at all," I said, catching sight of the three girls in a window. "Now they can't get away quick enough."

Clapping my hands together, I transformed again—POOF!

This time I turned myself into an extremely handsome man dressed in an expensive suit. "Perhaps this is more to their liking?" I chuckled, as Bulma kicked open Sherman's door just like in the anime.

"Hey, there!" she sang, rushing out into the street.

"Hello," I said, bowing slightly at the waist. "What's your name, beautiful?"

Her cheeks blushed and she looked away. "I'm Bulma, and you must be Oolong. I've heard so much about you." she giggled, her eyes roaming over my new body, a wistful look flashing across her face.

I loved the attention. Bulma was easily one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen in two worlds. She was stunning, with a curvy body, her breasts big and natural, her ass full and firm looking with thick blue hair, bright eyes, and pouting lips.

A bulky red jacket covered most of her top, but the tiny tan shorts she was wearing made her ass look amazing from any angle.

"Bulma what are you doing?" Goku asked. "I thought you said he was dangerous."

"Things change, kid!" Bulma replied, not looking away from me. "This guy isn't dangerous, he's gorgeous!"

I stepped closer to Bulma and tipped her chin up with my finger. "How about a kiss, Bulma?" I asked, whispering her name.

I looked into Bulma's eyes. She was looking back sweetly like she was waiting for it. Leaning in, I kissed her softly on the lips. Her lips were soft and warm, and I couldn't help but deepen the kiss. She tasted like strawberries, and I couldn't get enough.

Bulma opened her mouth, sliding her tongue along my bottom lip. Her hands began to roam over my body. She ran her fingers through my hair, down my chest, and across my abs. Holding the back of her head, I pulled her closer, enjoying the sensation of her touch.

I slid a hand down her body to her ass, caressing it through her shorts, making her gasp into my mouth. I rubbed and fondled her cheeks, massaged them, and enjoyed their feel in my palm; they were so soft and fat.

POOF!

Dammit! I cursed Oolong's lack of skill with shape-shifting. I opened my eyes and looked up at Bulma who was staring down at me. My five minutes were up and I was a pig again.

Bulma shrieked. High-pitched and ear ringing. "You pig!" she shouted, and then a boot was smashing into my nose. She kicked me so hard that I landed flat on my back.

Oh, son of a bitch that hurts! I groaned holding my snout. There was a clinking sound next to my head and I twisted my neck.

Rolling past my shoulder was the six-star Dragon Ball. "The six-star ball!" Bulma gasped.

Ignoring my throbbing nose, I reached out and snatched the ball off the ground.

Bulma sneered at me and stuck her hand out. "Give that to me!"

I snorted and stuck the Dragon Ball in the pocket of my pants. "That's not going to happen," I said shaking my head. "You obviously know about what the Dragon Balls do, so you must know how priceless they are."

Bulma ground her teeth. "You owe me," she hissed. "After that little stunt you just pulled I should have Goku beat the shit out of you."

I looked behind Bulma at Goku who hadn't moved. "Him?" I laughed condescendingly. "What can he do? He's just a kid?"

"And you're just a pig!" Bulma shouted, her face blotchy red and her eyes blazing. She was absolutely pissed.

I found the look to be extremely attractive. Bulma must have noticed because she seemed to get even angrier.

Then in the blink of an eye, she was smirking and looked completely calm. "Fine, you asked for it," she said before shouting, "Goku! Crush the pig and take his Dragon Ball!"

"Alright!" Goku cheered, pulling the Power-Pole from his back. "This is going to be fun!"

Doing my best to hide how nervous I felt at the prospect of fighting Son Goku, I laughed.

"You? You're going to crush me?" I asked, hoping that my plan was going to work. "Stop fooling around and hand over your Dragon Balls! Give them to me or prepare to die!"

"Oh, yeah?" Goku said, and he stuck out his tongue.

I was a massive fan of Dragon Ball Z—in fact, the series was the entire reason I even started doing martial arts. I wasn't ever going to be a champion fighter or anything like that, but I knew a few moves.

And I had Oolong's shape-shifting abilities.

POOF!

Right off the bat, I shifted into the missile Oolong used in the anime. Flying towards Goku I saw him lift the Power-Pole high over his head. The mystical weapon began extending until it was twenty feet long.

Goku brought it down with a laugh. "Take this!"

POOF!

I transformed into a housefly. My change in size made the Power Pole miss and smack uselessly against the ground. I grinned at Goku and could practically see the gears turning in the Saiyan's head.

He might be kind of a dunce in everything else, but Son Goku was a damn good fighter.

Goku dropped the Power-Pole and started running full speed straight at me. His arms came out and swung together, his palms flat and on a collision course with each other.

He was trying to swat me like a fly!

POOF!

I transformed back into my regular piggy self. The slaps would still hurt, but I didn't like the idea of being hit while I was so small.

Goku grinned. Instead of slapping his hands together, he wrapped his arms around me.

"I got you!" he shouted.

Then he started squeezing. His small arms bulged, applying strength that no normal kid would ever have.

I gasped as all the air in my lungs was squeezed out of my chest.

"Give us your Dragon Ball and he'll let go!" Bulma's voice shouted from somewhere.

When I didn't immediately reply, Goku started squeezing harder. While my body was slowly being crushed, I suddenly remembered a scene from the original Dragon Ball anime. Right before Goku met Turtle he'd be training by squeezing boulders until they shattered.

I wasn't going to let that happen to me.

POOF!

Goku's arms were forced apart as I transformed into a missile again. Taking off into the air, I dragged Goku with me until we were fifty feet in the air before doing a one-eighty and flying straight at the ground.

"Ha ha! You're not going to scare me!" Goku laughed. "If you fly into the ground, you'll get hurt too!"

When the ground was only twenty feet away—POOF!

I shape-shifted back into a fly.

With nothing to hold onto, Goku kept speeding toward the earth.

"Flying Nimbus!"

Too late! I thought, happy my plan had worked. Flying Nimbus was fast, but not fast enough to catch Goku before he hit the ground.

I flinched as Goku hit the ground with an audible thump. It was only because he was a super-human alien that the fall didn't kill him. But it did leave him dazed and bruised lying in the street.

POOF!

I transformed back into a missile and flew back up into the air. "You're pretty strong for a kid," I praised Goku, appealing to his fighting spirit. "Let's see if you can handle my Super-Sonic Punch!"

Angling my nose at Goku's chest I shot down toward him. Flying as fast as I could, I was planning on shifting back into my pig form right before I hit Goku so I could punch him with all the momentum I could muster.

Before I ever got close to the ground a gunshot ran out.

I froze in mid-air.

Bulma was aiming a pistol in my direction. I had pushed my luck too far and now I was in danger of being shot.

POOF!

I transformed back into Oolong's normal pig form and dropped to the ground.

"No need for that," I said, raising my hands in the air.

Bulma ignored me and called out to Goku, "Are you okay, Goku?"

"I'm fine," he said, rubbing his head as he sat up. He looked at me and smiled. "You're a lot stronger than I thought!"

"So are you," I said, returning the smile. Goku seemed to like me, or at least admire my strength. That was good. I was going to use that to plead my case.

Bulma glared at Goku. "Don't act all buddy-buddy with him!" she yelled. "He just beat you up!"

Goku laughed, rubbing at the bruise on his head. "He sure did! But I'll beat him next time!"

"There won't be a next time," Bulma said, smirking at me darkly. The pistol in her hand was pointed right at my head. "Not unless Oolong hands over his Dragon Ball."

Despite the fear coursing through my veins, I managed to shake my head. "I can't do that," I replied, keeping my arms up. "My wish is too important."

"More important than your life?"

I stared at Bulma and nodded. "It is to me."

Bulma was silent for a moment. I kept quiet too, keeping a close eye on the gun as I tried to figure a way out of this mess. If I transform into a fly, she might not be able to hit me.

Still, I hoped it didn't come to that.

"Well, what is it?" Bulma finally asked, and thankfully she lowered her gun. "This wish so important that you'd die for it?"

"I want my real body back," I answered, shocking Bulma."It's a long story, but I'm more than happy to explain. Maybe even reach a compromise that suits us both? Just not here."

I looked around at Aru Village. They all still hated me, and unlike Goku, I couldn't take an ax to the head and live.