Blitz groaned as he woke up, rubbing his head from a massive hangover from last night.
"Ugh... oh Satan that sucking hurts." He muttered.
Leaning upward and rubbing his eyes awake, Blitz saw that he was NO in his apartment anymore. He was in a very stylish apartment with a gentle pink light over everything.
"Damn... I see why Fizz likes it here." Blitz said, figuring out where he was quickly.
"Thank you." Asmodeus said, wearing a giant whitish pink robe, as he brought two cups of coffee into the den. "I take pride in my inferior design as much as my work in lustful toys."
"Guess so and I guess Fizz and I overdid it, huh?" Blitz asked as he pieced that Asmodeus came to get them after they passed out.
"That's an understatement." Asmodeus said as he offered Blitz one of the coffee mugs.
Something the imp graciously took and drank from deeply.
"I also put some painkillers in there to help with your headache." Ozzie added.
"Thanks. It's already working." Blitz said, sighing in relief.
"I'm actually surprised you're awake already, you two had to of drank at least half the bar to be passed out like that." Asmodeus said.
"Fizz obviously never told you how much shit I've down and what I can endure. Especially college before I dropped out." Blitz said, drinking more coffee.
"He never even told me you went to college." Asmodeus said.
'I mean, I thought he was just running his business on grit, luck, and a prayer but he actually has education in business practices?' Asmodeus thought.
"Yeah, I went to college but it was brief." Blitz said.
"How brief exactly?" Asmodeus asked.
"I don't know…semester? Semester and a half?" Blitz said, barely remembering. "College really wasn't my thing."
"It's not for everyone." Asmodeus said, siping some coffee before changing the subject. "So, how has your business been going?"
"Good. We haven't been shut down yet." Blitz said.
"How are you friends? The married couple?" Ozzie asked.
"Also good but Millie is preggers and she refuses to go on maternity. Too much wrathian pride." Blitz said.
"Ugh, don't get me started on Wrath." Asmodues said, rolling his eyes. "I don't understand what Satan does there sometimes."
"Make the imps there his bitches. That's why I'm glad to be born in Greed." Blitz said.
"Anywhere is better than Wrath." Asmodeus said, "Though personally, I think that Lust is the better ring, not much actually happens here."
"Fizz said the same thing. Perfect place to raise a kid too." Blitz said without thinking.
Asmodeus chuckled.
"Ah, I have a feeling I know what you two were talking about." He said.
"Yeah, so are you nervous about it?" Blitz asked.
"That's an understatement. I'm terrified but also excited about having a kid." Asmodeus said as he finished his coffee.
"Well, whenever you have one, remember to tell their favorite uncle when it happens." Blitz said.
"Mammon?" Ozzie asked before seeing Blitz's sour face, chuckling. "Sorry, I just had to do that."
"That's a terrible joke." Blitz replied.
"Oh come on, you know I don't mean that... I'd sooner lose my power than let my kids near Mammon." Asmodeus said.
"Probably because he'd exploit or spoil them rotten?" Blitz asked.
"Yes." Asmodeus and a now awake Fizzarolli said as the former walked into the room.
"Ugh, I haven't had this bad of a hangover since that one time in the circus where I tried to escape from a tank full of beer." Fizz said, rubbing his head.
"I LOVED That trick by the way. 10/10." Blitz said with a grin.
"I didn't. I felt like a jackhammer was drilling into my brain for three days.' Fizz said blankly.
"Well, it seems like you had a very fun night." Asmodeus commented.
"As fun as a flaming kidney stone." Fizz said.
"I can attest to that. It is fun." Blitz said.
"Sure it is. Try not to get that drunk again, I got a little worried Fizzy." Asmodeus said.
"Blame him." Fizz said, pointing to Blitz.
"Oh no! You suggested the drink off, not me." Blitz said before his stomach growled. "Speaking of suggestions, what's for breakfast?"
"I could always-"
"NO!" Blitz and Asmodeus said at the same time.
Fizzarolli's cooking was NEVER to be allowed. EVER.
"Ugh, you guys suck." Fizz said with a pout. "Fine, I won't cook but I want breakfast burgers!"
"I just don't want the place to burn down, I spent enough getting the kitchen renovated." Asmodeus said, "Don't want it to get ruined."
"And I don't want my taste buds to be violated again." Blitz said blankly.
""I'm not THAT bad!" Fizz said.
"Fizz, last time I had anything you made, it tasted like chicken." Blitz said.
"So?" Fizz asked.
"It was fucking water." Blitz said chopping his hands forward.
"Chicken water?" Ozzie said in confusion.
"Yep. Chicken water." Blitz said. "I still have no idea how he even managed it."
"Can we just stop talking about it and make breakfast?" Fizz said as he crossed his arms.
"Okay, Froggy." Asmodeus said as he picked up his husband and carried him into the kitchen as Blitz followed them.
Looking around the ridiculously large mansion as well.
"Damn, this place is huge." Blitz said, glancing around.
"Best part of being a sin is living in a big house." Asmodeus said with a grin.
"I get that but not even Bee's place." Blitz said as he looked around at the wall art.
"Well, sometimes I am a bit lustful in showing off." Asmodeus said with a grin.
"Yeah he does. Like a beautiful peacock." Fizz said, scratching Asmodeus' chin.
"Fizzy, not in front of your friend." Asmodeus said.
"Please. This is too mushy for me, I think I'll about to vomit again." Blitz said, holding up a hand and looking away.
"One day, you'll grow up." Fizz said.
"Ah, fuck you." Blitz said, rolling his eyes.
'At least I can cook, clown boy.' Blitz thought.
"Well, this sure is nice to see." Asmodeus said as they reached the kitchen. "You two really act like brothers."
"Of course we are. His family took me in when I was young, we don't need to be blood related to be family." Fizz said.
"Ah, the love of family is truly a beautiful thing." Asmodeus said, "And I don't mean in the incestry kind of way either. You two have been through so much and you still are brothers. I can barely stand my family when we have a meeting."
"All families are different. You can't pick the one you're born into." Blitz said as he sat at the table.
"I know how that feels." Ozzie said as he set Fizz at the table with Blitz and began cooking all of them "breakfast burgers."
"So, good thing you found someone that actually knows how to cook." Blitz said, "Otherwise you would've starved to death."
"Not true. I know several good take out places. Plus, I don't have to worry about my weight anymore because of Mam." Fizz said with a smile.
"You'd get sick of take out. Trust me." Blitz said.
"He's right." Asmodeus said. "Nothing can beat a nice home cooked meal."
'Even weird breakfast burgers like this.' Asmodeus thought.
"He gets it." Blitz said, points to Asmodeus.
"Whatever." Fizz said, stretching his arms and grabbing the newspaper.
"Can I get half that?" Blitz asked.
"Yeah, I don't like the sports section anyway." Fizz said as he handed Blitz the sports section of the newspaper. "Never really took you for a sports guy."
"Eh, I like to make bets and sometimes the losing teams have funny sad photos." Blitz said.
"I should've expected that." Fizz said, rolling his eyes.
Ozzie chuckled at their back and forth before adding some salt to the breakfast patties; which were a mix of sausage, bacon, and eggs.
"So, your cooking as good as they say?" Blitz asked Ozzie.
"Best among my siblings. Unless you count Bee but she just uses magic to make food and that has absolutely no nutritional value." Asmodeus said, flipping a breakfast patty in the air. "I prefer the old fashioned way. Food made with love."
"That sounds CORNY but I can't deny the results." Blitz said as he remembers his mom home cooked meals made with love.
"No you can't." Ozzie said, putting the finishing touches on the burgers and moving the plates to the table.
Setting the papers down, Blitz and Fizz saw three breakfast patties for each of them on fluffy pancake buns and a bottle of syrup at the side.
"Huh, so THIS is a breakfast burger." Fizz said in surprise.
"It is now because the amount of burgers you eat a day is getting concerning." Asmodeus said.
"What are you, a doctor? And how do you know exactly?" Blitz asked as he put some syrup on his sausage-pancake-egg patty.
"Nope, I am an observant husband, I notice these things." Ozzie said.
"A curse that I love yet dread at times." Fizz said, already eating some of his own breakfast burger.
You are honestly rail thin for what you eat." Asmodeus said, looking at Blitz.
"I got a strong motabliza." Blitz said as he took a bite of his breakfast burger.
"Metabolism." Asmodeus is corrected.
"Same time." Blitz said with a mouthful.
Asmodeus rolled his eyes at this as he ate his own breakfast burger.
'Still illiterate and he doesn't care.' Ozzie thought.
But hey, he runs a successful business, so maybe he didn't need it.
Bonus Note:
Breakfast Burgers, original(?) recipe:
Patties: made from bacon, sausage, eggs, black pepper, and a little salt.
Buns: fluffy yet firm pancakes
Alternate: sausage and bacon patties with a poached egg on top.
Optional condiments: maple syrup, jelly, or jam (YES, there is a difference between jelly and jam).