Chapter 2 Real Monsters
April 11th, Monday.
Do you ever see something that makes you stop in your tracks?
While that has pretty much been my life for the past few days, having to come to terms with being in the world of one of my favorite games and seeing all the characters and villains that were around me at the moment.
However, those previous times seemed to all pale when I saw a certain black-haired teenager standing on the sidewalk, taking cover from the rain.
When I say Joker is right in front of me, what I really mean is HOLY CRAP, JOKER IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
And no, I am not saying that in an enthusiastic voice…
I knew this day would come. I knew it would. I was literally counting down the days. And yet, despite that, I'm still floored when I see the kid actually in front of me. A new pit of anxiety was welling up in my gut.
Now that Joker (or whatever his real name was) was here, the main story was about to kick off. I've literally only had a week to collect and prepare myself for that, and I still wasn't ready to see everything play out. Just thinking about it made me ill. Today would mark the beginning of everything, and I was not looking forward to how it affected me.
With Joker's arrival, I now knew the order of events that would happen. Joker would run into Ryuji, and the two of them would accidentally enter Kamoshida's palace, kickstarting all of the events of the first chapter of the game. And that was supposed to happen right now. Maybe that's why I froze like a deer in headlights when I saw the otherwise unintimidating young man.
That was when something scary happened. Joker turned his head towards me. Our eyes met briefly before I quickly snapped out of my trance and began walking away, holding my umbrella close like it could hide me from the boy.
I can't draw attention to myself like that. Even just being noticed by Joker could drag me into something I want no part of. What if he tried to make me one of his confidants? If that happened, then I'd still end up involved with the Phantom Thieves in some form, which could lead to them learning I have the metaverse app.
That would only lead to more trouble. The last thing I need is for them to discover I have the nav and become suspicious that I'm the villain in the black mask they learn about in Madarame's palace.
So, wanting to get as far away from Joker as possible, I sped-walked over to the school, completely avoiding the area Ryuji leads Joker down so as not to get accidentally pulled into the metaverse.
Thankfully, a castle is not waiting for me when I arrive at my destination. Just the normal Shujin Academy building with normal-looking students walking around as usual. Letting out a sigh of relief, I slowed down my rushed pace and entered the school. After entering my classroom, I sat down at my desk with visible relief as the tension left my body.
"Are you okay, Fumi-kun? You look stressed." Haru asked me when she saw how I was acting.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Just feeling a little bit of anxiety." I said.
"Really? How come?"
"Well…" I began before leaning in close to her to speak in a hushed tone. "Have you heard the rumors? Y'know. The one about how a kid with a criminal record transferred here?"
"Yes. I heard something like that, though they sound slightly exaggerated." Haru said.
Well, yeah. They're totally blown out of proportion or just straight-up false. We can thank Yuuki Mishima for that. Or should I say we should thank Kamoshida, who threatened Mishima into spreading rumors about Joker.
While I knew most of those weren't true, there was no way for me to know that right off the bat, so it was best to play up my nervousness about it like any other normal student.
"I mean, maybe. But are you telling me you'd risk being near the guy if people say he carries around a knife and has violent tendencies? He does have an assault charge from what I've heard."
"Perhaps that may be true, but I would rather judge a person after I had met and spoken with them, not just from some rumors."
"Yeah, I know the old saying of 'don't judge a book by its cover'. Still, it's hard not to freak out when the person with that kind of rumor surrounding him is in front of you."
"So you saw him?"
"Yeah. I noticed him on my way here. Honestly, he seemed pretty ordinary. Hard to imagine someone like him assaulting someone. But they do say that when the quiet, unintimidating people snap, they snap hard." I then yawned as I stretched my arms above my head. "Well, at least he's not in our class. I saw he's a second year, so we should be fine."
"Right…" Haru nodded with a slight frown.
It was at that moment that the bell rang, and classes began. As the teacher got up and began the lecture, I opened up my notebook and began writing out story details like I usually do. However, despite writing down trivial ideas, my mind was entirely on what would happen today.
By now, Joker and Ryuji should be in Kamoshida's palace. They should get captured, Joker awakens to his Persona, they escape and meet Morgana, and then they return to the real world. After today, Ryuji should convince Joker to join him in investigating the palace further, leading to Ryuji getting his Persona and learning about palaces and treasures from Morgana.
Things are slowly moving forward, and that bastard Kamoshida will soon be gone. All without my own involvement.
I'm literally counting the days till then.
The rest of the day flew by, though class tended to drag on, but not so much that I couldn't zone out with my own personal writing. Of course, some teachers have caught on to what I'm doing and think they're clever by calling me out to answer some questions.
Once again, I've already taken most of these classes, so I could answer their questions seamlessly. And for the classes I hadn't taken, I was actually taking notes, so I was fine then too. And just like in the game, most of the students were amazed that I could purposefully not pay any attention in class and still answer questions confidently.
Guess my charm is increasing. Take that, online mechanics! I don't need player surveys to answer school questions!
By the time lunch rolled around, I'd nearly forgotten what had happened this morning. That is until I saw Joker walking around the hall as I was getting a drink. So the palace stuff is done for the day, I imagine. And from just looking at his face, he already knows that everyone in the school knows about his situation but that it's been blown out of proportion.
He looks…defeated. Like he knows there's nothing he can do and can't even seeth inwardly about it. He's just…sad. That's the best way to describe it. I sort of pitied him when I saw him like that. I shook my head out of that thought quickly and went back to class.
Just ignore him and stay away. There's no reason to get involved with trouble that has nothing to do with me.
April 13th, Wednesday.
As I was sitting on the gym floor, I had my head cupped in my hand as I stared at the court in front of me. Moments like this made me question the school's decision sometimes. Like, seriously. What kind of school holds a volleyball rally on the second week of classes? Guess even the teachers don't care about our education at this point.
The more I come to Shujin, the more I feel sympathy toward Makoto. She must have gone through so much bullshit before this point in time. I would have quit from how unreasonable the school seems to be.
It's also at this very moment that I'm glad I'm not into sports at all, else I might be in the same position that those poor kids that are on the court are in. Of course, as a high school student now, I still had to take PE, so I know exactly what it feels like to get spiked on by Kamoshida.
For those of you who have not had the 'pleasure' of being hit by a ball while playing a sport, good for you. You're ignorant of just how painful something like that can be. And when it's something like a volleyball, it tends to really hurt like a bitch.
At least it's not a baseball or something harder. Doesn't mean it won't cause bruises and welts, though. Hell, I can still feel one bruise on my right arm from a class last week.
That's all to say I was having a hard time enjoying the rally when it was just Kamoshida spiking kids right in the face without a care in the world. And not a goddamn soul was stopping him. I'm just thankful I'm not on one of the teams playing against Kamoshida and the other teachers. Let the other no-name NPCs take the brunt of his ego-stroking.
Sure, you might think that I should try to say something about how this is obviously wrong and Kamoshida shouldn't be allowed to act like this, to which you would be correct. I really should do that. A part of me wants to.
However, that won't help everyone. Most people in this school can see it, but they choose to ignore it. The teachers, the parents of the kids who get abused, the kids themselves, they're all complicit in it.
I fall under that list, too. Right under 'bystander'. At least I can be comfortable knowing that it will all end by the end of the month at the latest. The other students don't have that kind of reassurance. I guess that makes them stronger than I am by default. If I had no knowledge of any of this and were stuck in a situation like theirs, I would break within moments. Perhaps that's another difference between them and me, aside from being a foreigner and all. They're made of tougher stuff.
I never claimed to be a good person, but these sorts of thoughts tend to bum me out.
Speaking of being bummed out, these matches have done a number on my psyche. It's starting to get even harder to watch poor Mishima get his face smashed in whenever the ball flies into him. The teachers haven't even pulled him out yet, despite his bloody and, likely, broken nose.
Damn, the game did not go into detail about how messed up these kids were getting. The wonders of seeing it in glorious live action, I suppose. It makes me wince way more and gives me the urge to tear my hair out in second-hand anguish.
Having had enough of the depressing air that was only hidden by a thin layer of enthusiasm created by the many cheers the students watching were giving (all of which only made it worse for me since most of those cheers were for Kamoshida for some reason), I decided I needed a drink.
So, without drawing any attention to myself, a skill I picked up very quickly after coming to this world, I left the gym and walked over to the vending machines outside the courtyard.
I sighed as I inserted a coin into the machine and selected what I wanted. After the can of Nastea (don't judge me. I'm a sucker for puns, and despite the name, it's actually pretty good. And I'm not even a tea guy.), I moved over to an isolated bench that was near the machines and sat down with a plop.
I've got to say it's been pretty boring recently. Probably because I haven't really seen Haru lately. She had to leave early for some reason yesterday, and she isn't here today either. Perhaps it has something to do with her dad. I don't know. All I do know is that I was clearly underestimating how fast and enjoyable days had been since she started talking to me. Hell, even gardening with her is more fun than I thought it would be, and I hate yard work.
I remember hearing Haru get a bit of a bad rap back in my world for some reason, I think mostly due to the writing involving her at times. I wasn't too big of a fan, but I knew she was nice and liked her for that. And now that I've met her in person, she's literally become something that makes all the insane bullshit bearable for a time.
Guess I really do see her as a friend. When did I allow myself to relax around her and truly consider her as such? Maybe I'm just softer than I thought.
It was when I was having these thoughts that someone walked by. It was just a brief glimpse that pulled me out of my thoughts and brought my attention to the newcomer.
It was a girl with black hair tied into a ponytail. She had brown eyes, but instead of wearing her PE uniform like everyone else, she was wearing her normal uniform, which was just the usual white school shirt everyone wore under their blazers and the checkered skirt.
She seemed familiar to me, but not because I had talked to her or even seen her during school. Wasn't she that girl I saw talking with Ann a few times? Yeah, that's right, but that doesn't explain this feeling I have. It's the same feeling I got from seeing some teachers and other characters from the game.
She was important enough that I remembered her from the game, but I couldn't place a name with the face.
Speaking of face, she was sporting a very nasty set of bruises all across her arms and one that seemed to be newly formed above her left eye. Just from those bruises, I knew she was a volleyball team member. She had to be. No other student would be so beaten up.
It was so bad that her hands started shaking when she got her drink from the vending machine before she dropped the can completely. She let out a small gasp when she did, and a look of what could only be described as shame washed over her already pained expression.
Oh god, this is even worse than watching the volleyball rally. I snuck out of the gym for a reason, damn it! And now, with something like this in front of me, my bleeding heart is already acting on its own!
Before I could stop myself, I got up from my seat and moved over to the girl. I bent down and picked up the can before offering it to her. She seemed surprised by my action but nevertheless took the can back. Her hands started shaking again, but she now seemed to have a better grip on the can.
"Th-Thank you." She said in a small voice that felt like stab wounds directly in my heart.
"Hey, are you okay?" The words left my mouth in a soft tone before I could stop them.
Stupid. Of course she's not okay. There I go again, asking obvious questions. Questions I have no business asking.
"I-I'm fine. It's nothing, really." She told me quickly, now shifting around in a vain attempt to hide her still-visible injuries. "I just got a little hurt during volleyball practice."
"Doesn't look little to me. You're shaking from just holding a drink, and you look like you're gonna fall over." I grumbled more to myself than to her. "You should sit down. I could get the school nurse for you if you want."
"No!" She replied a bit too quickly for my liking. "I-I mean, there's no need. As I said, I'm fine. If I went to see the nurse, I might not be able to go to practice. And…I need to get better…"
She seemed to trail off near the end weakly, but her point was clear. If she went to see the nurse like this, and the nurse prevented her from going to practice, then what was enduring it all for? Add that to the fact that I doubt Kamoshida would even accept a legitimate excuse from the school nurse not to come to practice, and that's a lose-lose situation.
I guess that's just another part of the abuse that needs to be considered. Damn it… No kid should have to go through something like this. Hell, no adult should have to go through it either, but here we are.
"Right…" I sighed, deciding it was best just to drop the subject. "But seriously, you look like you might faint in the next minute, so you really need to sit down."
Without waiting for her response, I grabbed her shoulders with just enough force to get her to move toward the bench and sat her down on it. I then sat back down where I was sitting, which wasn't super close to her, before giving her a weak smile.
"So… I'm Fumihito Ainsworth. Third year. You?"
She seemed a little surprised by my introduction but still gave me the tiniest of smiles in return.
"I'm… Shiho Suzui. Second year."
"Good to meet you, Suzui-san." After saying that, I found myself scratching my cheek in a bit of a nervous fashion as I racked my head over what to say next. I was never good at small talk. Or talking in general. Something proven by the very next thing that left my mouth: "So… You like volleyball?"
I want to kick my teeth in even more now. Of all the topics I could have thrown out there, why'd it have to be volleyball?! I'm such an idiot!
"Y-Yes. I've been playing it ever since I was in middle school. It's…the only thing I'm good at." Suzui replied in a cheerful voice that quickly went a bit somber at the last part of her sentence.
"I see…" I hummed. "I'm sort of the same way with my hobby."
"Hobby?"
"I like writing. Making characters, putting them through stories, that sort of thing." I told her. "I do a lot of writing in my freetime. I love making environments, characters, dialogue, all of that. I want to make stories that can inspire others."
I then sighed as I dropped my head.
"At times, it seems as though this one thing I really like is the only thing I'm good at. Hell, sometimes it feels like I'm not even good at that. Those kinds of thoughts can be pretty depressing, but then…I realize my life doesn't revolve around that hobby or my desire for it."
I watched very carefully from the corner of my eye as Suzui flinched a little. Good, hopefully she understands and registers what I'm about to say.
"No matter how much I like to write, I realized that if I only do that and nothing else, I would burn myself out. I discovered if I didn't take a break every once in a while, I would grow to hate writing because of how it would harm me mentally when I couldn't perform as well as I knew I could or when others were harsh in their criticism of my work."
"For my own well being and, frankly, my own sanity, I decided to take a break from my passion and gain new hobbies. In doing so, I found out that I was good at other thngs, and I met new people who supported me and cared for me. I wouldn't be who I am now wihtout them. Now I don't feel as bad whenever I write. It's a lot more fulfilling than it had been before, because now I don't feel like it's the only thing I'm able to do."
I paused after I said my piece to take a glance at Suzui, who was looking at me with wide eyes as she processed my words. Deciding that now that I've painted my allusion, I could be a bit more direct. So, leaning a bit closer and whispered to her.
"No matter how much you love something, if its hurting you, you should prioritize your own safety, for your own sake and the sake of others. Nobody is defined by any singular thing. People are worth far more than that. That's what I realized. I was worth far more than just my writing. I am who I am, and that doesn't make me any less of a person."
I then leaned back and forced out a laugh as I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly.
"But that's just my own experience. Sorry. I tend to ramble on and on and on. We just met, and here I am, your upperclassman, spilling his life story to you. Sorry about that. I really shouldn't be saying all this to someone I just met." I admitted.
"Ah–! N-No, it's fine. Actually, I'm…I'm glad you told me that." Suzui quickly exclaimed after she snapped out of her train of thought. "Honestly, I think you've given me a lot to think about."
"Have I? Can't say I know what you're talking about." I shrugged as I turned my head. "I was just rambling. You don't have to take any stock in what I said if you don't want to, but if you managed to get something from all that, then I guess I'm glad. Just be sure you do whatever it is that you think is best."
"What I think is best…" Suzui repeated as her hands tightened around her drink ever so slightly. "...Isn't it just giving up if I do that?"
"Doing what's best for one's self is never 'giving up'." I replied. "I think it's actually really brave to try to better yourself and your situation, even when no one else is trying to help you. It takes guts to do that, in my opinion."
"Is that so?" Suzui let out a small, barely audible chuckle at that. "I'm not sure if I'm someone who can do that, then."
"I think you can. I can tell, even now, that you're much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You're definitely stronger than me, anyway. I can't live under pressure, and I'd break down anytime I'm in any sort of pain. I wouldn't be able to stay standing or even consider the possibility of wanting something better, so by comparison, I think you're much stronger."
"I don't know about that. I think you're plenty strong, too." Suzui flashed me a tiny smile. Despite how small and fragile it appeared, it shined as brightly as a star, bringing a smile of my own to my lips.
I'm glad I was able to do one good thing after arriving here, at least.
"So you mentioned getting new hobbies help you with your situation. What were some of those hobbies, if you don't mine my asking." Suzui asked, much more relaxed than she had been at the start of this conversation.
"Well, I guess recently I've been helping my friend with some gardening." I hummed.
"Gardening? You do garden work, Senpai?" She asked me. I shot her a stunned look after I heard her, though.
"Senpai?"
"Y-Yes. Is that not-?"
"N-No, you're fine. I'm just not used to these Japanese honorifics. I'm from the U.S." I told her as I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly, doing my best to hide my blush. "But no. I don't garden. I'm just helping my friend who's been really getting into lately. In fact, if you go up on the roof, you'll see the planters she was asked to take care of."
"Oh, I have seen those! They look really good so far." Suzui told me.
"Yep. She's been doing really well with it. I try to help out, but I'm little more than muscle to carry around heavy stuff for her. She's the one who actually knows what she's doing."
"You make her sound really impressive, Senpai."
"That's because she is. From what she told me, she hadn't done any gardening stuff before this, and she was only doing it initially because a teacher asked her to. Now I'd say it's one of the many talents that she's cultivated." I paused at that before snickering to myself. "Cultivated. Ha! Okay, that one pun wasn't intentional."
Suzui had to take a second to think about what I said before she saw the pun I had made. She soon joined me in laughing, which made me feel much better. A cute girl like her shouldn't be injured or sad like this. Even with her bruises, it puts me at ease to see that she's still capable of laughing and smiling.
"Hey, Suzui-san!"
It was only after someone called for Suzui that we stopped laughing. We looked over at who had called for her, and I felt my stomach drop. It was a boy, a second year, with short dyed blonde hair. He was wearing his gym outfit, minus the jacket, and walking over with his hands in his pant pockets. It was Suzui who confirmed my thoughts on who this was.
"Sakamoto-kun. Did you need something?" Suzui asked Ryuji.
"Yeah. I wanted to ask you some questions, if that's alright." Ryuji told her.
"Some questions?"
"Yeah." Ryuji then scratched the back of his head nervously before spitting out the question. "Umm… Would you say that Kamoshida is abusing the volleyball team?"
That atmosphere that had been here just a few seconds prior, the one where Suzui and I were just talking and laughing, was completely destroyed by that question. All that remained was a violent chill that crawled up my back when I saw Suzui's face morph into an expression of pure sorrow, pain, depression, and, from what I could tell, terror.
All that hope and cheer brought about by our converstation…whatever courage or confidence that might have been found within my words to her…all of that seemed to be erased as Suzui nearly shook from her conficting emotions.
Even if I had reassurred her that thinking of herself wouldn't be giving up, she was still a victim of abuse. The mindset put into her mind was a heavy chain that was not so easily broken.
"I-I… I don't know what you're talking about." Suzui told the boy, who only seemed more determined at that.
"C'mon, I won't squeal on ya. I just want to know. Everyone on the team is sporting these real bad injuries, y'know. Even you've got that shiner above your eye, right? Did Kamoshida do that to ya?"
"Th-This is from practice! I got it since… I'm not good at the sport."
"Suzui, come one. Just tell me. My friend and I are trying to help stop this sort of thing from happenin' again." Ryuji pleaded.
"I… I…" Suzui trembled as she tried to speak.
That's when I'd had enough. I couldn't stand to watch this continue.
"Hey, Suzui-san. Didn't you promise to have lunch with that friend you were telling me about?" I asked her, causing her to look at me confused as I continued. "You said your break is almost over, right? You should look for them before your break ends. I'll go with you if you want."
She seemed to get it at that point, as her eyes widened a bit before she nodded with a small, nervous smile.
"Y-Yeah. That's right. Don't worry. I can find her on my own." She then turned to Ryuji and gave him a small bow. "I apologize, Sakamoto-kun, but I really need to get going."
Before Ryuji could argue, Suzui walked away. Though, surpringly, she paused for a moment and turned back to me for just a moment.
"Thank you, Senpai. I hope we can talk like this again." She said. I smiled as I gave her a brief nod.
"Sure. I'm always available to lend an hear to any of my precious Kohais." I responded. That seemed to perk her up a little, and she left with a bit more pep in her step.
Ryuji turned and watched her go, and once she was out of sight, he quickly shot back at me with an annoyed look.
"What the hell was that for, man?" He asked.
"She didn't want to answer your questions. You were making her uncomfortable." I replied as I threw away my now-empty can of tea.
"I just wanted to-!"
"No one is going to tell you anything. I've only been here a week and I can already tell you that much." I cut him off in a stern voice. He shut up when he heard me, his eyes wide as he processed what I said.
"What? What do you mean?"
"You and your friend are going around asking the volleyball team members about the abuse, right? Don't you think that at least one of them would have already tried to do something about it if it were real?" I asked him before sighing.
"The fact of the matter is that almost everyone involved knows already. Many of the teachers know. The principal most certainly knows. I wouldn't even put it past the parents of those abused kids knowing too." I stated plainly. "Anyone with a set of eyes could tell that these sorts of injuries aren't the result of sports practice. But no one, not even the students, is doing anything about it. For the students, they can't because all the adults in their lives are willingly letting the abuse happen."
"Wh-What!? Why would they do that!?" Ryuji asked in complete horror and disgust.
"Because they all want the end result of going through it. The students want to win and gain recognition from being on Kamoshida's team, and the school wants clout from Kamoshida, an Olympic gold medalist, who will lead their pitiful students to national victory. As Kamoshida might say, 'everyone wins'." I explained, spitting out the words like they were poison.
"But that's bullshit! No one should have to go through any of that! No one should let that shit happen to kids!"
"I agree. It's despicable. But there's nothing anyone can do. I doubt even the Student Council President, Niijima-san, can do anything about it since the principal is on Kamoshida's side. The students are powerless to stop Kamoshida. None of us can do anything about it. Not when rotten adults hold the power and control over everything in this school."
I then began walking past Ryuji to head back to the gym, but stop right as I'm about to pass him. I've already told him this much, so I might as well give him an additional push. After all, he was one of my 'precious Kohais' too.
"There isn't anything in this world that can be used to stop someone like Kamoshida. If you want to really stop him, you'll need to find something else to use." I told him sternly.
That seemed to make Ryuji think, as his eyes narrowed a bit as I continued walking away. I couldn't help but smirk when I saw his body straighten up when he had a thought, one that was probably the solution to this whole ordeal.
Good. that kickstarts the whole Kamoshida takedown. He and Joker will soon speak with Morgana about it, and eventually, they'll go and steal his heart.
I frowned after thinking that. But wait… Aren't I missing something? Ann is supposed to go with them, right? But so far, I think she hasn't talked with either Ryuji or Joker. How did she get involved in the metaverse again?
I stopped walking and put a hand to my chin as I thought hard about it. After a minute of brainstorming, a revelation hit me. One that made me pale.
Suzui. Shiho Suzui.
I remember now. She was Ann's best friend. The reason Ann got involved with Kamoshida in the first place. The one who Kamoshida pushed…to suicide.
"Oh no…"
Those words left my mouth like a curse. I suddenly felt cold chills rack my body as I thought about what was going to happen very soon, in perhaps a day or two. Kamoshida is going to…do unspeakable things to Shiho, most likely. And then, she's going to jump off the school roof.
That's the thing I was missing. Shiho's attempted suicide is what gets Ann to join the others. That's what really kickstarts the beginning of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts. It had been so long that I had forgotten about that part of the first arc.
Now I felt sick. What am I going to do? A girl is going to try to kill herself soon. Shouldn't I try to stop it? But would that be fine? That event gets Ann to join the main group and finally pushes the Phantom Thieves to try to steal Kamoshida's heart despite the risks. Without that event, what will happen? Would they even try to steal his heart?
Damn it. This is why I didn't want to get involved in any of this! I don't want these sorts of choices on my conscience! I shouldn't have to be the one who decides whether a young girl tries to kill herself or not! I shouldn't have to pick which option is for the greater good! But here we are anyway.
God, I'm the last person who should have been put in this situation. To have this level of knowledge of this world. Couldn't Lavenza or whoever just transfer all this knowledge to Joker instead of bringing some random guy over to this world? That would have been better.
What am I going to do? I don't want to let Shiho jump, but what other choice do I have? If she doesn't jump, the Phantom Thieves will never form. That can't be allowed to happen. But is it worth risking the life of an innocent, abused girl?
Wait, what am I even talking about? Shiho doesn't even die in the game. Sure she jumps off and puts herself in a coma, but she wakes up after Kamoshida has his change of heart. In the long run, she'll be fine. We see her at the end of Ann's confidant rank. So… doesn't that mean the right answer is to let her jump? Considering she survives and all?
But that's all depended on the game. A game that hasn't been 100% accurate to this reality. Sure, it's been, like, 95% accurate, but does what I know from the game justify letting a girl jump to her potential death?
I could be wrong. This isn't the game. She might die if she jumps here in this world. Do I have the right to decide whether her life only has meaning if she jumps? But do I even have the right to stop her from jumping if she wants to?
Argh! This is so frustrating! This shouldn't even be my problem!
"Ainsworth-kun? Shouldn't you be in the gym for the rally?"
I snapped out of my torrent of thoughts when I heard my name. I turned around and almost frowned when I saw the Shujin Student Council President standing across from me, her red eyes reflecting a small bit of concern as she looked at me.
It's only now that I realize that this whole time I've just been standing in the middle of the path like a melon as I thought about what to do. I really am an idiot.
"Sorry. Just…thinking about stuff. The gym was too depressing to be in, so I snuck out to clear my head. Didn't really work out." I tell her with a bit of a sigh.
"Anything you'd like to talk about? I know it's only your second week here, so it's understandable that you're still having trouble adjusting." Makoto told me.
"Adjusting. Right." I muttered before turning back to her.
Unlike her reputation among her peers, she honestly looks like she'd like to help me if I do have a problem. As expected from the prez. And honestly, I could use someone to talk to about this, even if I can't tell her the whole truth.
"Hey, umm… Niijima-san? There is actually something that's on my mind that I could use some advice about."
"Then, by all means, what's wrong?" Makoto asked in a concerned tone.
"Well… Oh, how do I even ask this?" I began before taking a deep breath. "So…this is a purely hypothetical scenario, okay?"
"Okay?" She nodded with a confused tone.
"Okay. Well, let's say that you know about something that's going to happen in the future. Something really good. Something that will save people. Something that needs to happen no matter what. But at the same time, in order for that great thing to happen, something awful needs to happen to someone else. Something really, really bad. And just to this one person."
"What do you do? Do you leave things be so that the great thing can happen for everyone, but let that one person suffer before it happens? Or do you try to save the one person and risk that major event that will help so many others from never happening in the first place?"
"That is a tough decision." Makoto frowned after I finished explaining my thoughts. "And this is all hypothetical?"
"Yep. Totally. I'm just a fan of thinking on moral dilemma problems like this, and I saw it online this morning, so I've been stuck thinking about it this whole time." I lied quickly. "Honestly, I'm more upset for anyone in a real situation like this. I'd hate to be that guy."
"I see your point. Having to choose between one of these would be…unpleasant, to say the least." Makoto said before stealing a glance at me. It was only for a brief moment, but it looked like she was analyzing me and what I said, but she quickly looked back away from me with a sigh. "But in my opinion, I think it's not really saving everyone if one person has to suffer to make it happen."
"So you'd risk it all to save the one? Risk the happiness and salvation of the many?" I asked her.
"Well, it's just a risk, isn't it? You never said it would completely ruin the chances of this great saving event from happening." Makoto told me. "So, if it were me, I'd want to try to make it so everyone can be saved."
"Hmph. Must be easy for you to say." I grumbled quietly. "It's easy to want to save everyone, but doing it is another matter entirely. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out like that. But I guess that's why you're the student council president. Maybe if it were you, you'd be able to pull it off. You give off that sort of impression. You're a good person, Niijima-san."
"O-Oh. Thank you." She said, a bit thrown off at the compliment, though she quickly recovered. "...Ainsworth-kun. This isn't entirely just speculation, is it?"
"How insightful." I muttered. "It's…just a gut feeling I have. And my gut tends to be right, unfortunately. Something bad is gonna happen here at Shujin very soon. And I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure…if I should do anything. It's not even my problem."
"And you think that if your feeling is right, and if you let it happen, something good would come out of it."
"Yeah." An empty chuckle left my mouth at that. "I always knew I wasn't a great person, but this is just something else." I let out a small sigh before offering Makoto a weak smile. "Sorry for dumping all that on you, Niijma-san. You shouldn't have to worry about me or my stupid thoughts. It's just a feeling, anyway. Who knows? Maybe nothing will happen."
Trying to give yourself false hope, I see. How pathetic.
I ignored the thought that crawled out of the back of my mind as I started walking away, waving back at Makoto as I did.
"Thanks again, prez. Sorry to take up your time again. I'll be heading back to the gym now. See you later."
With that, I made a swift exit, leaving Makoto by herself. I didn't see how her hands clenched a little and how her frown deepened a little after I left.
"So he feels it too. That awful feeling in the air that's been hanging around the school lately." Makoto mumbled to herself. "Something bad is going to happen… I feel that too. But what can I do? I'm just…just a student too."
April 14th, Thursday.
"Is something wrong, Fumi-kun? You seem agitated today." Haru asked me as I scribbled story notes in my journal in a furious rush.
"I'm fine." I replied sharply.
Snap!
I stopped writing once again when the lead in my mechanical pencil broke for what must have been the fifth time today. I growled as I pressed the eraser on the pencil to push more lead to the tip before getting back to writing.
"Something is clearly bothering you." Haru frowned. "Please, won't you tell me what is on your mind?"
I sighed as I put my pencil down as looked up to the girl sitting in front of me.
"It's just one of those days. I have them from time to time." I replied curtly. "I just have an awful feeling about today, and I'm on edge because of that."
"Really? But today is a normal day. Is something happening today?"
"I…" I stopped myself before shaking my head. "It's just a feeling. It doesn't mean anything." I then flashed her a forced smile. "Enough of that. How have you been? You missed the volleyball rally yesterday. You also had to leave early the day before. Did something happen?"
That got another frown out of Haru as she averted her eyes.
"My father wished to discuss…certain things with me." She told me.
"Certain things?" I repeated, not liking how that sounded.
"He wanted me to meet with a man. He wanted to arrange a marriage between the man and myself."
I started choking on my own spit once she said that. I coughed roughly for a good minute before I was finally able to speak again.
"I-I'm sorry, what!?" I nearly shouted. "You're father wants you to agree to an arranged marriage!?"
Now, that fact wasn't too surprising to me. It was a major part of Haru's story, after all. What did take me by surprise was just how early this was becoming an issue. I was completely unaware of the fact that Haru had to deal with this issue since the beginning of the game.
Now, it's never mentioned since she only becomes relevant after the Futaba arc, but still!
That also doesn't diminish the fact that I really have a problem with arranged marriages on just a fundamental level. I think they're awful, and now it's become a personal problem to me. This no longer is me hearing about a character being forced into this. This is my friend, my only friend in this world, being forced into something I think no one should have to agree to.
"Haru, please tell me you didn't agree to this. It's crazy! Who asks their child to agree to an arranged marriage in this day and age? It's ridiculous! You're not even out of highschool yet!"
"While that may be true, it does not change the fact that I have a duty to my father and to my family." Haru said in a defeated tone as she looked down at the ground. "So… I did end up accepting the offer."
"Haru…!" I grimaced before stopping myself. "Look, I know I don't know anything about your family situation, and I respect that you haven't told me much about it, but is it really necessary for you to sacrifice a part of your future like this for your father? For your family name?" I asked.
"I… I do not know. I still have plenty of doubts about it." Haru admitted. "But even so, I am my father's daughter. It's my duty to see this through. For the good of my family and my father's company."
"So he only wants you to go through with this because of his company? It's sounding more like he doesn't care about your happiness at all." I argued.
"Fumi-kun…"
I couldn't help but sigh when I heard her soft voice.
"Fine. I'll drop it. Just promise me you'll think more about this. This is your life. You shouldn't have to do something as important as marry someone you don't like or know just because your father tells you to." She didn't give a reply at that, making me shake my head before moving onto a new topic. "So will we be going up to the roof today for the plants, or will you be busy again today?"
"I have matters to attend to after school again." Haru told me while biting her lip a bit. "I'm sorry. I'm the one who was asked to take care of the planters, yet I've been forcing you to handle them by yourself lately."
"It's not a problem. You've been busy with personal things. I understand, and I don't mind." I tell her. "I'll go and check up on them again today once classes are over. I'll make sure they all get watered and the soil is healthy. It'll all be up to your standard. I promise."
"I believe you. You picked up gardening quickly, after all. You're help has been a blessing."
"You're the one who taught me. I'm surprised you managed to get such a good understanding of this sort of thing after only a few days of doing it." I told her. It was at that moment the bell rang, signaling the end to our free period. As the students got back to their seats, I leaned forward near Haru to say one last thing. "We'll just say that you owe me for all these solo gardening days for me. If I ever need anything, I'll let you know."
"That sounds like a fair agreement." Haru said with a nod and a smile before turning back towards the front of the room.
And with that, the rest of the day flew by. Classes ended, and Haru left immediately to handle whatever personal business she needed to deal with. I, on the other hand, went up to the roof and began my usual routine of caring for the plants.
After doing it consistently for a few days now, I had developed a sort of pattern. It was simple really. All I had to do was check the soil, even it out a bit if it had become bumpy and uneven, and add some fertilizer if it needed it. Then I watered all the plants and made sure to move them to a location with more sunlight if they weren't getting enough sun.
On paper, that didn't sound like it would take a long time. However, there were multiple planters here, with several of them being quite big. It took an hour or two of working to get all of that done by myself. By the time I had finished, the sun was already getting closer to setting.
It was strange. Back home, the sun would still need many hours before setting, but here in Japan, we're at the point in time were the sun sets really early compared to normal. I suppose the same happened in the game too. Sometimes it would be sunny and clear after school, and other times the area would be dyed in an orange and red light from the setting sun despite it being after school like before. I always thought that was strange, but living through it now, It's gotten a bit more normal.
After finishing everything up, I wiped the sweat off my face as I left the rooftop. I got out of the gym clothes I had been wearing and swapped back into my usual uniform. What a day. Everything flew by like it was just a normal day. Yet the whole time I was thinking about what should happen today.
I somehow managed to distract myself with the gardening, thankfully, but now that I'm done, I can't help but wonder what happens now. Did that awful situation already play out? Were things set in stone now? I didn't want to think about it, but my mind kept these persitent thoughts in my head.
I hadn't even noticed that I had already made my way done to the second floor of the practise building after I had put away the tools I used. I wasn't really registering anything, actually. I was just walking as I was stuck in my own head. Stuck in my own thoughts. It was only when I heard something that I was brought out of my trance.
"S-Sensei…! Please! Sto-ah!"
It was a soft cry. No. It was more like a moan from where I was standing. And the last part was a lot louder. I froze when I heard it. My mind stopped dead in its tracks. The thoughts stopped pestering me. My legs stopped moving. I just stood still as I processed what I had just heard.
I was in the second floor of the practice building. Kamoshida's office was on this floor at the end of the hall. And there were rumors that if you were near the room after school sometimes, you would here voices. Shouts and cries, but also sometimes moans.
My heart dropped. I found myself turning around slowly to meet the room in question with my gaze. Without any thought on my end, my legs started moving towards the office door. By the time I was standing right in front of the office, I couldn't stop my body. I flung the door open without thinking.
I immediately regretted doing that, for the scene that met my eyes would forever be branded in my memory, as one of the worst things I had ever seen in any reality.
There in the dark room that was only lit up by the little bit of light that came in through the closed window, was Kamoshida. His head snapped over to me when he heard the door open, but he was the least of my concern.
There with her back pressed against Kamoshida's desk, was Shiho Suzui. Her arms were above her head, being held there aginst her will by one of Kamoshida's hands. Her shirt had been pulled up enough to reveal her chest, which were still just barely covered by her bra. The bra that looked like it was about to be torn off by Kamoshida.
Her eyes also shot to the door when she heard it open, but unlike Kamoshida's eyes, which reflected panic, fear, and surprise, her eyes only showed one emotion.
Her eyes cried out for help.
It all happened within a single moment. I opened the door, saw the scene in front of me, and less than a fraction after that, I blinked. When I opened my eyes again, I was no longer standing at the office's entrance. I was now fully in the room, and my knuckles hurt. Kamoshida was no longer standing over Suzui. Instead, he was now standing a few steps away from us, holding a hand to his cheek with wide eyes of shock.
It was only then I realized what had happened. I rushed in and punched Kamoshida away from Shiho.
Strangely enough, I didn't feel any regret at my actions. The plan to not get involved in this matter and the doubts surrounding it all faded away as I stared at the horrible man in front of me. Reservations be damned. Future be damned. There was only one thing to do when this sort of thing was in front of me.
"Run! Now!" I screamed as I ran at the confused PE teacher and tackled him down to the ground, pinning him as best as I could.
It wouldn't last long, though. Kamoshida was an Olympic athlete. He was leagues stronger than me, and once he snapped out of his daze, I'd be paying for my actions. In blood, most likely. But it gave Shiho enough time to collect herself.
She quickly registered my words and actions and gave me a quick nod. She didn't hesitate to rush out of the office, not even stopping to fix her clothes before she got to safety. She just ran. And the moment she was out of the room, I almost gave a sigh of relief.
I never got the chance to, however, as I felt a fist slam into my face before I could do anything. Kamoshida had recovered from his shock, and he was now growling like a beast. He easily broke out of my hold and got me off him with a quick blow.
Now the roles were reversed. Now I was on the ground, and Kamoshida was slowly getting up, standing over me like a king looking over a peasant. He slammed his foot into my side, grinding it in as I held back a cry of pain.
He had me trapped, just by pressing his foot into me. I couldn't gather enough strength to fight back. All I could focus on was the pain and not giving him the satisfation of hearing me cry out from it.
"You've got some nerve, transfer student." Kamoshida growled. "You just had to come in at this moment, didn't you. You just had to ruin my fun."
"Fun?" I repeated, managing to move my head enough to look him dead in the eyes. "This is fun to you!? What you were about to do to that girl… You were about to do something so grotesque and horrible! And that's FUN to you!? You're an inhuman monster! I hope whatever 'fun' you get from acts like these comes to haunt you!"
"Is that anyway to talk to your Sensei?" Kamoshida snarked back as he delivered a swift kick to my stomach, causing me to spit up some bile that came up from my throat from how hard he hit me. "Scum like you don't have the right to talk back to me."
"Y-You-cough cough!" I began to say before I was racked with violent coughs. "Y-You won't…get away…with this!"
"Oh, I think I will." Kamoshida gave his usual smug grin as he bent down towards me. "You see, something like this happened before, you know. Before, the school had a track team. Did you know that?"
I felt chills when he spoke. Why was he bringing this up now?
"It was nothing but an eyesore. And the star runner, hah! Don't make me laugh. Sakamoto-kun was nothing more than a disgrace. So I decided to do something about it. All it took was a few pushes to get Sakamoto-kun to snap. He hit me. So I broke his leg in self defense."
Kamoshida let out a laugh at that.
"The school didn't even bat an eye. They just wrote it off as self defense, and the tract team was disbanded. Now Sakamoto-kun is known as the Track Traitor, the one who got his team disbanded, and is the delinquent of the school."
Kamoshida then grabbed my arm before leaning in close to my ear.
"So what makes you think that you'll get out of this just fine if even the star runner didn't for hitting me."
He never gave me a chance to answer before doing what he did.
SNAP!
It all happened so quickly, it took my body a few seconds to realize what he had done to me. All I heard was a loud snap, which caused my eyes to wander over to where the sound came from. My arm. The arm that was in his hand. It was bending the wrong way.
He broke my arm.
Once the thought came to my mind, the pain finally registered. It was at that point that I could now longer hold back my screams. I screamed. I cried out as tears fell from my face. I sobbed hard enough that my throat became ragid. And yet I still screamed out in agony.
I had never broken my arm before. I had never felt this kind of pain. It came so suddenly, and so easily too. All it took was a sharp blow from Kamoshida, and my arm let itself get destroyed. The pain was overwhelming. I immediately forgot everything else that did not relate to the pain.
Those days talking to Haru, saving Shiho just now, and even the fact I was from another world entirely all disappeared and made way for pain.
And then that pain gave way for absolute rage and hatred. There was only one thing I was certain of now. I hated Kamoshida. I absolutely despised him. No words could properly caputer how much I loathed the very thought of his continued existence.
I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him suffer. I want to grab his throat, look him straight in the eyes, and laugh loudly as I choked the life out of him. I wanted him to experience everything he had ever done to others all at once. I wanted him to die.
In truth, I no longer cared about his actions towards others. Now it was personal. I wanted him to suffer for no other reason than he hurt me like no one else had until now.
"Look at you. You're pathetic. It's only a broken arm." Kamoshida taunted as I continued to scream. He didn't even let go of my arm. He continued to hold it in a tight grip that only made the pain flare up everytime he moved or tightened his hold. "You… You're just like Sakamoto-kun, and just like that other transfer student. The one with the record. Amamiya-kun."
His face than twisted into something sinister as he snarled.
"You all are just scum I have to scrape off the bottom of my shoes. But in your case, Ainsworth-kun, you were doing fine until now. You kept to yourself and knew how to stay quiet and well-behaved. It wouldn't have come to this if you didn't show up at the wrong time and play hero. You brought this upon yourself. In fact, let's give you one more, just as a reminder of what you did."
That was when he threw my broken arm down and stomped on my hand. There were multiple cracks and snaps when he did that, and far more pain that was sent to my brain that I thought I might foam at the mouth from how hard I was screaming. He broke my hand. This bastard broke my arm, and then he broke my hand!
"Oh? Are you angry with me? Don't be. This is all your fault, you know? You should have just walked away and not gotten involved in any of this. I would have thought you had already known that by now."
I didn't dignify his words with a response. In a way, he was right. I didn't even want to be here at this moment in time. I didn't want to play hero. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to simply let this world run its course before fading back to my own world. That's all I wanted. I truly did bring this on myself.
But still…! What kind of person could willingly let something like this occur when it happens right in front of him. No matter what I wanted, in that one moment, there was only one response. Anyone with a conscience would have agreed. I refuse to be someone who lets something so vile, so sickening it makes me want to hurl, happen when there's something I can do to stop it. Even now, I find it hard to find any amount of regret for my actions.
The only thing left in my heart is an absolute loathing for the man in front of me.
No. He isn't a man. He isn't even human in my eyes now. He's just a demon. A demon wearing flesh like a fresh coat.
That's the thing about reality, isn't it? We endulge ourselves with stories about many different people and characters. We write about heroes who fight villains. Demons. Monsters. But in the real world, real monsters aren't Heartless like in Kindgom Hearts. They aren't robots seaking vengence like in Five Nights at Freddy's or zombies in Left for Dead. There aren't even monstrous shadows like in Persona. There is nothing like that in the real world.
No, reality has something worse.
The real monsters are humans themselves. For what could be more inhuman than a person so entranced by their desires that they're willing to do the most horrific things to others just for their own enjoyment? In truth, humans are capable of much more evil than any vile beast.
"Now, what to do about this situation…" Kamoshida grumbled as he rubbed his chin, as if he didn't just break a student's arm like it was a pencil. "Ah! I got it." He then snapped his fingers before giving me his usual friendly smile that made me sick. "How about I tell the school that I found you assulting Suzui-san?"
I stopped breathing at that. I stared at the athlete with wide eyes. Despite everything I knew and had just experienced with this man, I couldn't believe what he said. He can't be serious, can he? There's no way he would do what I think he's saying he going to do, right?
"I just found you in the hallway, tearing off Suzui-san's clothes off in a mad frenzy, and that when I found you, you lashed out at me. I had to break your arm in self defense, and for Suzui-san's sake." He then laughed again, louder than before.
"The school won't hesitate for even a moment. They'll believe me as soon as I tell them my story. They'll call what I did self defense, like they did with Sakamoto-kun. And then you're life will be ruined. You'll be expelled as soon as the school is able to kick you out, and then you'll be reported. Your future no longer exists."
He then pulled me up to my feet before dragging me to his office door.
"Now get out of my office."
He didn't hesitate as he threw me out, letting me hit the ground with a loud thud before slamming the door shut again. I don't know how long I laid there for, in complete defeat. I couldn't gather enough energy to care. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. All I could focus on was the now dull, yet still mind numbing pain I could feel throughout my entire right arm and hand. I couldn't feel anything in it other than pain. I didn't want to move, not wanting to cause more pain to myself.
But I had to. I needed to get away from this awful place. I didn't care where I ended up. I just wanted to get away from this office. From this building. From this school.
I wanted to go home. Not that appartment that was prepared for me. I wanted to go home. Back to my family, who would have never let something like this go unpunished. To my friends, who I could just be stupid and forget all my school related problems with. To my room, where everything seemed to be okay as long as I was there.
I just wanted to go home… Was that so wrong?
I don't know when or how it happened, but I found myself on my feet. I somehow pushed my self up and started walking. My destination? I had no clue. I was just moving. My mind was muddle from the pain, and it felt like I couldn't see two feet in front of me.
Actually, I really couldn't, as I bumped into someone, sending the two of us to the ground. I'm lucky I didn't land on my arm. Or maybe I did. Everything was too fuzy to tell anymore. I suddenly felt really tired. I wanted to sleep. To sleep and not wake up. At least not wake up back here, in this horrible world that I never wanted to come to in the first place. The world in which I was forever alone in.
"Ainsworth-kun?"
Ah. Wouldn't you know it, but I guess I happened to bump into someone I knew, and considering I could count all those people on one hand and I could recognize the voice, it wasn't hard to tell it just so happened to be miss council president.
What are the odds? Did I subconsciously walk to toward the council room for some reason? Was it because my mind remembered how Makoto had offered me help on a few occassions should I ever need it? I don't know. But now that I was here, I felt like it was fine to let her handle it. I couldn't be bothered with it anymore, after all.
"Hi Makoto." I mumbled out softly as I didn't even make an effort to pick myself off the floor. I didn't even care if I called her by her first name.
I was just so tired of today. I no longer had the energy to care about anything. Makoto seemed to pick up that much immediately, as I heard her shuffle over to me in what sounded like a panic.
"Ainsworth-kun, what's wrong? You don't sound well. Why did you-?" Makoto asked. The moment she got close to me, though, she saw what was wrong. She must have, since I saw the way her eyes widened so much I thought they might pop out of her head. "What happened to your arm!? And your hand!?"
"Kamo…shida." I managed to get out, but I didn't pay any attention to her reaction as I decided I have had enough of this horrible, horrible day. "Make sure…Shiho…is okay."
And with that, I ignored her confused cries as I let everything go dark.