As Chuck pulled his car back onto the main road, the honking and yelling of rush hour served as an odd disconnect from the chaos of the chase. Clouds rolled in from the water, threatening a storm. The dust kicked up from the construction site rolled out into the traffic as it billowed behind them. Sirens wailed in the distance, but Chuck's sedan blended seamlessly into the traffic. Within moments, the wreckage of their escape was but nothing but an afterthought in the buzz and rhythm of the city.
Sarah let out a slow breath, only then realizing how tight her grip had been on her gun. Holstering it, she stole a glance at Chuck from the corner of her eye. As he shifted gears, an eerie calmness settled over him, as though the car and the steering wheel were one with him.
Carina, leaning forward through the space between Sarah and Chuck grinned wildly as she ruffled Chuck's hair. "I knew you were good Curls, but damn. You've really stepped up your game from the last time we worked together."
Chuck, who had been so calm moments ago, suddenly flushed as Carina showered praise on him. He ducked his head and lightly batted her hand away. "Yeah, well... not everyone I worked with was as good as you either. I had to get better to stay off everyone's radar."
Chuck's eyes darted to Sarah briefly as he said that. Something in her stiffened before his gaze turned back to the road. With her father's earlier comments about wanting to meet Chuck and that comment, she could tell there was something he wasn't sharing. He wanted to stay off the radar... but he hadn't. Jack had definitely known his name.
Sarah clenched her jaw. She would need to get to the bottom of that or it could blow up this job, but right now, there was something more pressing.
"Speaking of keeping off the radar," Sarah said, keeping her voice measured. "if someone sold out that drop site, that means there's a mole in the Syndicate. My club is probably under surveillance."
She hated how easily the thought slid into place. She had known that LA wouldn't last forever. A part of her told her she should be angry, planning her next move, setting up another city. But instead, there was something else... a hollowness. What does it mean when you don't even care that it's time to run?
Before she could dwell on it, Chuck's voice cut in. "There was a cop watching my garage this morning, so that's out."
Sarah's pulse quickened as Carina's gentle ruffling of his hair suddenly turned sharp, grabbing a fistful and pulling his head back. "And when were you planning to tell us about that, Curls?" she demanded, her grin sharp. "We're supposed to be a team. That means sharing important information like that."
"Ow!" Chuck winced as he swatted at Carina's hand. "Okay, okay. I get it. That's on me!"
"Damn right it is." Carina said, releasing him with a final ruffle of his hair, leaving it an unruly mess of curls. "Now tell us what happened."
"It was about your car chase from a couple days ago, it was the same cop I spoke to before." Chuck grumbled. "I was coming to meet you. I lost the tail."
"Are you sure?" Sarah narrowed her eyes at him.
He met her gaze, his voice level and unwavering. "Yes."
Something in his tone made Sarah's throat suddenly feel tight.
Carina chuckled from the backseat. "Like I said, Blondie. He's the best."
Sarah swallowed as she looked out the side window, hiding a growing heat on her face. "So you keep saying. Apparently good enough to stay off our radar too."
That shouldn't bother her so much. One guy who wasn't interested in working for the Syndicate? It wasn't unusual. People were either in or they were out. But for some reason, Chuck being out? It felt personal somehow.
She forced the thought aside. "But that's not what's important. We need a place to wait this out until I can get in touch with Jack. If my club is being watched, my apartment probably is too."
"And what if it was Jack who sold you out?" Chuck's tone was careful, but pointed, like he was challenging her to confront a truth she didn't want to consider.
A sharp silence filled the car. Sarah's hands curled into fists against her lap. "It wasn't Jack."
"Are you sure?" Chuck raised an eyebrow at her.
The words struck a nerve. The way he said it. The same way she had questioned him about the tail.
For a moment, she just looked at him. Then slowly, she smirked "Yes."
She didn't elaborate. Jack had his flaws, but betraying her? He had proven to her with his prison sentence that turning on her wasn't one of them.
Chuck swallowed thickly, his expression shifting under her scrutiny. She could see the gears turning in his head, trying to work out how she was so sure. The corner of her mouth twitched in a tight smile, point to Walker.
Carina sat back, smiling quietly to herself as she watched the two in the front. "My place is probably safe for me, but it wouldn't be safe for either of you. I've been seeing one of Jack's guys and he drops by unannounced. I wouldn't say we talk a lot and I doubt he's smart enough to be a mole, but if he sees the two of you at my place he might mention it to someone."
Sarah settled into her seat with a heavy sigh as Chuck drove aimlessly through the city. "Great, so we need to find a motel to hide out at until I've seen Jack." She paused as she thought through the situation. "Those guys weren't locals, so either Shaw is pulling on his contacts or they're the feds. Either way, they can track cards so it'll be cash only. I've got a couple hundred on me."
Carina gestured to her pocketless attire. "My wallet is in my purse, in your office."
Chuck ran a hand through his hair as he gave a half-hearted smile. "And I don't bring my wallet on a job."
Sarah pursed her lips. "That won't get us far, we can find something for the night though."
Chuck shook his head. "If I take the two of you to a dive… the clerk would have to assume… and the two of you wouldn't be… that is to say…" A blush started to creep up his neck into his cheeks.
Sarah bit the inside of her cheek, resisting the urge to smile. She shouldn't find it amusing, shouldn't find anything about Chuck's nervous stammering remotely endearing. And yet... she did. "That is to say what, Chuck?" She asked, feigning innocence.
Chuck rolled his eyes as he glanced at her, his eyes darting up to the rear view mirror to see Carina who was grinning wickedly at him. "You know… the two of you… prostitutes" He stumbled through the words, the shade of his cheeks growing darker by the second before he forced the word out.
Sarah laughed gently at him. She had been around so many men that both used their services or worked as pimps themselves, it was odd to meet a man who had difficulty even saying the word. "And so what if they do?" She asked seriously. There had been hotel clerks that assumed she was one of the Larkins' prostitutes when she was dating Bryce, it wouldn't be the first time.
At the same time, Carina leaned forward again, questioning him with a playful tone, "And you think we couldn't pull that off? Maybe Blondie would struggle with it, but I'm sure I could convince someone I wanted to tear your clothes off." She snapped her teeth at Chuck's ear, and the redness in his cheeks quickly spread to his neck.
Chuck's eyes widened in fear at the reaction from the two women. "No, no. It's not that… Well… not that I think… I mean, obviously, you'd be successful, but… " He stammered in response before taking a deep breath and settling his hands on the steering wheel and gear shift. Something about the motions seemed to settle his nerves, his forearm flexing just slightly as the tension in his fingers settled into a confident grip. "The two of you don't exactly look like cheap hookers. If we were talking about a swanky hotel and I was dressed a lot nicer, maybe we could pull it off, but taking both of you to a cheap motel would be suspicious. We all know the Larkins are connected, the information could make it back to them."
Sarah and Carina shared a knowing look. He was right. They nodded at each other before Sarah answered the awkward silence.
"You're right, Chuck. So do you have any other ideas?" He had been good so far with planning and thinking on his feet, maybe he was more talented than just being a driver.
He swallowed visibly, his eyes darting between them and the traffic. "Well… Ri can go home. I trust her… assessment… if they aren't talking much. Her being at home would be less suspicious to the guy anyway." The redness in his cheeks seemed to ratchet up a notch. "And then… the two of us… A couple short on cash is a lot less suspicious."
The silence stretched out, thick with unspoken tension. Sarah's mind raced. Chuck was right, and it grated against her instinct to always lead. She could feel her gut wanting to reject his plan out of pure instinct to be in control.
Sarah's mouth opened partially to respond as she felt Carina's stare from the backseat like a weight pushing down on her. Carina's gaze was a slow burn, scorching through whatever fragile barrier Sarah had thrown up. The longer the silence stretched, the heavier it felt, like she was gauging whether Sarah could be trusted with more than the job. Sarah wondered if she'd underestimated how protective Carina really was of Chuck. And worse, she couldn't help but notice the voice in her head telling her how much she'd started to care about Carina's opinion of her when it came to him.
Her stomach tightened under the gaze, and before Carina could cast judgement to declare her unworthy, Sarah spoke, "Fine, we'll do it your way. I'm in." Her voice was steady, but her pulse quickened. It wasn't just Carina's stare, there was a disorienting warmth that settled under her skin at the thought of being close to Chuck for another night, even if it was under a cover.
o-o-o-o-o
Sarah ran her hands down her jeans, as though smoothing invisible creases could ease the tension settling in her stomach. The faint, familiar smell of engine oil reminded her of the night she slept in his bed, unsettling her focus as she recalled the strange comfort she had felt wrapped up in his clothes and sheets.
Chuck leaned against his door, resting his head on his hand as the traffic was barely moving as they made their way to the downtown core. There were a few cheap motels in the less savory part of town Sarah was fairly certain weren't run by the Larkins, so it was their only real option right now.
The tension in the car was thick after dropping Carina off at her apartment. Sarah had known Chuck all of about a week and this was going to be their second time sharing a room.
Even though neither situation was romantic, it still felt overly intimate and something about him unnerved her. He was so sharp and assured behind the wheel, the kind of mastery she had seen in so many dangerous men. But then they'd talk, and he would stumble over his words and flush at the idea of something as simple as prostitution. There was something disarmingly innocent about him, a softness that unsettled her in ways she couldn't quite explain.
And he was smart. Smarter than most people she worked with. If he wanted to, he could work his way up the ladder with either Jack or the Larkins to a pretty cushy gig, but for some reason, it was something he was avoiding. He'd been doing these jobs for five years from what Carina had told her, but he never tried to go big with it. Most of the people they recruited were chomping at the bit for the opportunity.
People who stayed small usually weren't as talented as Chuck. And if they were, it meant they were running from something. Or waiting for the right moment.
She couldn't let it go any longer. The question tumbled out of her before she could stop it. "Why haven't you worked for the Syndicate before?"
His shoulders stiffened just slightly, his fingers twisting on the steering wheel. He hesitated, as if weighing whether she was worth the truth.
Seeing he was struggling, Sarah pushed forward. "You don't have to answer if you can't. I just want to know something real about you."
Chuck gripped the steering wheel tighter as he exhaled heavily from through his nose, glancing at her quickly before focusing back on the traffic. When he finally spoke, the words were so soft she almost missed it over the rumble of the engine. "Five years ago… my parents were executed." He paused, the weight of those words hanging in the air. "Their bodies were dumped in front of my shop… well, their shop."
Sarah's chest tightened as his words sank in. She remembered when it occurred. There had been a ripple through the underworld, no one took credit for it, no one placed blame for it.
Sarah had seen men executed before. She had given the order. She had pulled the trigger. But sitting next to Chuck, she was suddenly on the other side of it. He was an orphan as a victim of the Syndicate's violence. The kind of violence she lived in. And she found a question suddenly asking itself in her mind, how many others like him were out there? How many were her fault?
Her throat constricted as tears pricked at her eyes, guilt mixing with a strange protectiveness she hadn't expected to feel. "And you believe it was someone in the Syndicate?"
Chuck nodded as a few stray tears fell from his eyes. "Pretty certain. The police were too. But no witnesses, no evidence."
Sarah felt a wash of horror as she realized he probably thought she was a suspect. "Chuck, I didn't…"
"I didn't really suspect you…" He interrupted her. "I've investigated it pretty thoroughly on my own over the years." He glanced at her, his eyes searching hers for the truth.
Sarah's eyes softened, she wanted him to believe it. Needed him to trust she wasn't involved. "No… Chuck, I… I was in the mountains in Colorado. There was a…" She paused, The Lichenstein con had been one of her most successful jobs. She had taken ten million from a Saudi oil baron. It had been a large part of funding Jack's rise in the Syndicate.
Her stomach tightened. Her past taught her to never trust anyone, never admit these things out loud. Hell, if Chuck ever wanted to, he could sell that information and make himself rich. But something told her he wouldn't. That scared her even more. She wasn't used to trusting people who didn't have a reason to lie. "I had just finished a con. The Lichenstein. The mark was looking for me. I was in hiding for three months. When I came back… I heard about… about your parents, but I didn't know."
Chuck blinked back tears at her words, relief washing over his face. "I've heard of that one… No one ever claimed credit for it." He smiled disarmingly at her. "There's a bounty out for information on whoever ran it. It's a pretty big risk to even talk about it."
Sarah's heart thumped loudly in her chest. "Chuck… you can't…"
He placed his hand on her leg, interrupting her as warmth spread through her from the contact. "It's our secret." His tone was earnest, pleading her to believe him. She looked in his eyes and could feel his honesty. It was disarming, to be buffeted by honesty.
Jack's voice began to lecture her in her head. 'Two people can only keep a secret if one of them is dead.' But Chuck wasn't Jack. Chuck was honest. She was certain she could trust him. And that might be even more dangerous.
The silence between them stretched longer than it should have, charged with an energy Sarah wasn't used to. His hand, resting loosely on the gearshift, was near enough to touch if she reached out, and for a split second she found herself wondering what it would be like if she did. She quickly looked away, focusing on the blur of street signs as they passed.
o-o-o-o-o
The engine shuddered to a halt as Chuck turned off the ignition. Shadows stretched along the ground as the sun settled towards the horizon. The air was thick with the stale scent of cigarettes and something fouler. The sound of a siren from an ambulance just down the road mingled with the sounds coming from an alley that sounded like two fighting alley cats. Sarah hoped that sound was two cats at least. A homeless man shuffled along past them slowly, his deep hunch indicative of a heroin addiction.
"Well, this certainly looks like it should be cheap." Chuck quipped as they looked at the small motel Sarah had directed them to.
The front office was visible through a grimy window that was covered with thick iron bars, showing a small room with the front desk separated from the entrance by bullet proof glass. The clerk was a portly middle-aged man, a prominent bald spot in the middle of his head not stopping him from growing the remaining hair to his shoulders. The man took a long drag on a vape pen, letting out a long breath of vapors filling the small space.
The solid metal door was propped open with a brick, letting fresh air in and offering welcome to those who would stay there.
Sarah shuddered as she thought about the room they'd be in, she just prayed it wasn't infested with bed bugs. Her skin prickled with discomfort thinking of the bedding and who might have used it before them. "This is a bit worse than I expected. We'll really need to play up being broke and so in love we don't care about where we are. Are you going to be okay with that?"
Chuck swallowed thickly as he glanced over at her. "What… uh, what do you mean by that, exactly?"
Sarah laughed gently at him. "I'll be a little bit all over you while we get a room. You'll need to respond to it. We want that guy to know we're having sex in there."
Chuck's eyes snapped open wide as he looked at her with a shocked expression, his face drained of color. "Wait- what? I thought this was just a cover!"
Sarah paused, a confused expression on her face before an understanding grin overtook her face. "It is, Chuck. We just don't want him wondering if we're doing anything else. You know… like hiding from the cops or a crime boss."
A deep crimson quickly flushed his cheeks at her explanation. "Uh… yeah… that's what I meant, too."
Sarah's laughter came easily, the sound filling the space between Chuck's stammering. He was so earnest, so awkward, so cute, and the combination made her chest tighten in a way she wasn't prepared for.
A jolt of panic rocked through her as she realized she had just thought of him as cute.
Cute. The word rang in her head like an alarm bell. Cute wasn't a word she used. Cute was for puppies and rom coms, for people who didn't spend their lives looking over their shoulder. Bryce had been handsome. Dangerous. But Chuck... he made her laugh. She was suddenly more aware of his presence beside her, feeling tension thicker than before as he turned to her.
"Ready, Sarah?" He asked, unaware of the thoughts swirling through her mind.
She shoved the thoughts out of her head. This job was important, and today was the second time it was proving to be dangerous. She needed to stay focused.
"Let's go." She said, focusing on the next five minutes for them to safely get a room.
As they walked to the entrance, Sarah intertwined her arm through his, hanging off him as she rested her head on his shoulder. Chuck's body was warm against her, his heartbeat erratic under her fingertips on his arm.
The clerk behind the security screen barely paid them any heed, his eyes red and the acidic smell of energy drinks coming off of him in thick, rolling waves. Sarah played with Chuck's hair as the clerk took their payment. Chuck slid his hand down to her bum, and as she gave him a quick nod, he squeezed firmly.
Sarah laughed as she swatted his hand away playfully, the laughter coming easily. Too easily. She cleared her throat and tightened her grip on his arm, reminding herself that this was just a cover. Just a role. But when he placed his hand over hers and squeezed back, she felt the warmth of it in her chest. For a moment, she wasn't sure if she was acting anymore.
She stood up on her tip toes as she suddenly remembered how tall he was, pressing a kiss to his cheek as Chuck accepted the key to their room. The man's half lidded eyes showed how little he cared, but their cover would be well intact for anyone that had observed them.
As Sarah interlaced her fingers with his, dragging him out of the office, a warmth spread from her hand to her chest, making it easy to play the part. Too easy. For a moment, she wasn't sure if she was acting anymore.
Chuck opened the door as she worked her hands up along his ribcage, tickling him as she felt his lithe body. He laughed and squirmed as he almost fell into the room, stumbling to a halt just inside the door. "So, um, as you can see, just the one bed." He shifted his weight from foot to foot, his face a little pink. "Are you sure this is ok? Should I have asked for separate rooms?"
"No, it's fine. As long as we're under cover we need to play the part." She paused as she examined the room. At least the sheets looked clean and better quality than she had expected. Her eyes flicked to the bed, and a sudden image of the two of them tangled in the sheets flashed in her mind.
Her pulse quickened. The air in the room felt warmer. "I need to take a shower." She blurted out, her voice more tense than she intended. "Could you… go pick us up a couple burgers and maybe something for me to sleep in?" She didn't wait for a response before stepping toward the bathroom. If she stayed in this moment any longer, she wasn't sure what she'd do.
o-o-o-o-o
Sarah exited the bathroom with her hair tied up in a thin, threadbare towel. She tugged at the hem of her shirt, still damp in some places, but it was better than the alternative of walking out in a towel. Chuck made her feel… exposed… enough as it was, and she couldn't risk that right now. The hot water and clean scent of soap had washed away the intrusive thoughts and let her exist in her own space again for a short time, and she was certain if she wore next to nothing around him so soon, the thoughts would come back.
The smell of greasy hamburger assaulted her as she stepped out and her stomach rumbled in response. The sun had set outside, leaving the only light in the room coming from a bedside lamp and the bathroom light behind her. With the curtains drawn it felt like they were in a private little world. One that smelled faintly of bleach covering too many varieties of human fluids, but still private.
Chuck sat at the small table in the room, a brown paper bag and a larger shopping bag in front of him with a crisp fold over the top holding the warmth inside. He grinned at seeing her as he started to open the paper bag. "Good, I was starting to get hungry." He pulled out two burgers in tight paper wrapping and placed them on the table before ripping the bag open to show a large bag of French fried. "I'm not sure I could have waited much longer."
As he spoke, Sarah made her way to the table, taking the only other chair. "You didn't need to wait, Chuck. I'd be fine if you ate already."
Chuck carefully peeled the wrapper off his burger as he spoke, "Oh… sure, I guess. I guess I'm not used to eating with people these days, except Ri of course."
Sarah furrowed her brow as she pulled out a knife. Chuck's eyes lit up as she cut cleanly through a wrapper and the burger, picking up half still held in the wrapper. "You don't eat with anyone besides Red?" She asked, unable to stop herself. "She told me you have a sister, what about her?"
Chuck's smile faltered, just for a second before he forced it back. "She… Ellie moved to Chicago shortly after…" he shuddered as he took a shallow breath. "-after our parents. Awesome and her both got job offers up there so they decided to take it and get away."
"Awesome?" Sarah asked around a mouthful.
Chuck squeezed out some ketchup onto the ripped open bag, dipping a French fry into it as a fond smile spread across his face. "Uh, yeah. Captain Awesome if you're formal. He's Ellie's fiancé now. Everything he does is awesome, sky diving, hiking, flossing…"
Sarah felt her grin grow at his description, a small laugh escaping at his last word. "You're funny, Chuck. Which is good, because I am not funny."
Chuck looked at her, genuinely surprised. "Says who?"
She narrowed her eyes, unsure if he was teasing her. "Pretty much everyone. You realize the club I run was named after me, right? The Ice Queen, that's Sarah Walker."
Chuck shook his head, chewing thoughtfully. "I don't know, Sarah. Don't get me wrong, you can be terrifying when you want to. Maybe you are the Ice Queen to the rest of the world, but I've seen glimpses of a pretty funny person under all of that. Maybe she just needs a better audience."
His words were so simple, almost offhand, but they reached deep into a part of her she hadn't realized was so raw. Could it really be that easy? Something as simple as the company she kept, the world she lived in? The thought frightened her, and she quickly stuffed it down, forcing her attention to the burger in her hand. "Decent burger, not enough pickles though."
Chuck was in the middle of going for another bite as he paused and pulled his burger away from his mouth. He opened the bun and pulled out an unbitten pickle, offering it to her. "Here, I'm not that big on pickles."
"Not big on pickles? Were you born with that defect or is it just something you learned?" Sarah scoffed at him.
He barked out a laugh, setting her on edge before he responded. "See? Funny. Maybe a little scary, but still funny." Sarah plucked the pickle out of his fingers with a deliberate, almost mocking slowness. "I was born with the defect. Never wanted pickles as a kid. I grew out of it a little and don't mind pickles nowadays, but how often do I get to look cool like that?"
Sarah smirked at him as she took a bite out of the pickle before slotting it into her burger. "You think giving away pickles makes you look cool?"
He laughed again, a twinkle in his eye alight with mirth. "There it is again, still funny."
Sarah huffed at him, unsettled by how easily he laughed at her jabs. It was strange to meet someone in this world, who knew who she was, act so… normal. Most people would be cautious around her, careful about stepping out of line with the Ice Queen. But not Chuck Bartowski. And that should have bothered her more than it did. "You must get to look cool in front of Carina sometimes. She seems to think everything you do is amazing."
Redness creeper up Chuck's neck and into his face at the mention of the redhead. "Yeah, well... Ri and I go way back. That's different."
"How far back?" A smile lit up her face as she found amusement in his awkwardness.
Chuck eyed her, hesitating for a moment before answering. "I thought she would have told you."
Sarah smiled around her burger, toying with him for a moment. "She did, but I want to hear it from you too. Compare notes."
He chuckled, fiddling with a french fry as he spoke. "We met back in grade two. She had just moved to town with her mom, and I was getting bullied on the playground. Ri stepped in and kicked one of the boys in the balls. She decided that day we would be best friends."
Sarah nodded along, having heard a similar story from Carina, though Carina's version mentioned that Chuck was getting bullied because he was sticking up for another kid himself. "Yeah, she told me something similar. And that you ended up dating in high school. She also told me the two of you broke up because you were away for university, but that felt like a lie. If that was the reason, you'd probably be back together now."
Chuck rubbed the back or his neck, glancing away from her. "Uh… yeah, we did date. We just… we wanted different things. Ri always wanted the next big thrill. She wanted the type of world you live in. I was always happiest with the little things. And me being away… made that clear. To both of us."
Sarah licked grease from her fingers, her burger done. "But you're here now, so if you didn't want this, then… why are you here?"
"Well, after my parents were killed, I started trying to hunt down their murderer, and then Bryce stopped by with the papers for the debt. Unfortunately for me, my parents did one of the very few legal debts with the Larkins. I wasn't okay with their business going to the Syndicate, so I started running the garage. That never brought in enough money though, so… I started driving."
Sarah picked at the fries again, feeling the room grow heavier with every word Chuck shared. She didn't press him further, even though there were a thousand questions racing through her mind. She could see how hard this was for him, how much he was holding back. The grease on her fingers was thick from the fries as she wiped them on a napkin, watching Chuck out of the corner of her eye. "So, what is it that you want?"
Chuck looked sheepish for a moment before responding. "White picket fence? Probably a dog, a golden retriever or Labrador, something stupid but happy and affectionate is really all that matters. A normal job, something simple like tech support. A wife. A couple kids. We'd have game night on Wednesday. Tacos every other Tuesday."
Sarah felt her breath catch in her throat as he described something very similar to what she had dreamed about in her quiet moments. "Red door." She said, her voice barely a whisper.
"Pardon?" Chuck glanced up at her.
Panicking, Sarah tried to calm herself as though her reaction was not a reflex. "You should look for a house with a red door."
His shyness about his dream gave way to laughter as he sat back in his chair, his melancholy mood washed away. "Okay, Sarah Walker. I'll make sure to look for a red door. I told you. You are funny."
The red door. It was a silly thing to fixate on, but in Sarah's rare moments of fantasy, it was the one detail that always stood out. The color a symbol of freedom, safety, and everything else she never had. And now Chuck was casually tossing it into his own dream, like it was nothing. Her throat tightened. There was nothing funny about the red door.
As Sarah was starting to spiral, Chuck pushed the shopping bag towards her. "There wasn't a lot of options around here, and our cash is limited, but I found you some pajamas."
Sarah peeked inside, expecting to find some revealing lingerie outfit. A plastic wrapped package had an image on it, full sleeve, long pants, loose fitting. They were simple, comfortable, unlike anything she would have picked for the Ice Queen. She ran her thumb along the edge of the packaging, caught between gratitude and frustration.
The twisting in her stomach intensified, and she felt the need to yell at him, force him to admit there was something wrong with him. This would be easier if he was a lecherous creep.
o-o-o-o-o
Sarah shut her eyes as she took a deep breath in the bathroom. The new pajamas fit her unflatteringly, hiding her curves but fitting too tightly around her calves where the pant hem ended a couple of inches shorter than she needed. The shirt ended just short of the pants, leaving a sliver of skin exposed. The floral print made her feel too soft, too delicate - everything she tried not to be. Sarah Walker projected strength, control, power. These made her feel vulnerable, and more exposed than the raciest lingerie would have.
If anything, they were perfect for what she wanted. Spending the night in the same room as Chuck… again… was never part of the plan. Not just the same room, but the same bed.
Why did he have to be so considerate though? It would be easier if he made a move. If he took the opportunity and tried something, she could shut him down and keep her walls intact. But no, Chuck had to be different, and the worst part was she couldn't decide if she wanted him to be different or not.
Steeling her nerves, she opened the door and cautiously entered the room. Chuck was by the bed, spreading a spare sheet he must have found in the cupboard onto the floor, setting up a makeshift bed.
Sarah felt a prickle of annoyance at him as he smoothed the sheet on the scratchy rug. "What are you doing?" She asked as she walked to the bed.
Chuck glanced up at her, and she could feel his eyes linger on the sliver of exposed skin, just long enough to make her pulse quicken. "Oh, I'll sleep on the floor." He muttered, too casually like he wasn't feeling the same tension that was making her feel breathless.
"Don't be ridiculous, Chuck." Sarah responded as she lifted one side of the covers on the bed, sliding herself underneath. "I'm not going to make you sleep on the floor. Especially not this floor."
She flipped the other side of the covers down, patting the bed and inviting him in. She could see a struggle take place on his face. The promise of a comfortable mattress won out and he abandoned his efforts on the floor.
The bed dipped as he slid in beside her, keeping a deliberate distance. His body was rigid, like he was afraid of the possibility of touching her with an errant motion. His presence filled the space between them as warmth rolled off him, carrying his scent, fresh soap and a faint undertone of motor oil. She turned away from him, not trusting herself with the stress and emotions roiling inside of her after their day.
Every rustle of sheets, every motion dipping the bed, every breath amplified the silence. The distance between them was only a few inches, but somehow felt like miles.
He switched off the bedside lamp, leaving only the glare of neon lights from outside peeking around the curtains. "Good night, Sarah."
And just like that, everything fell into silence. For a fleeting moment, she imagined what it would be like if those words were just that, normal. No mission, no cover. Just two people sharing the same bed. It was that overwhelming feeling that made her aware that a simple evening with Chuck had made her feel more out of control than she'd ever been in her life.
"Good night, Chuck." She whispered softly, hoping that her voice didn't betray the longing she couldn't quite suppress.