Silence sat between them again as the towering mech stared her down. Today she wasn't going to be intimidated by him. She knew the power of those restraints. And she knew, after a long late night chat with her cat, that there was someone lost behind his shield of anger and hate. Yesterday she had not been at her best. She had been ill-prepared both mentally and physically. That was okay, it had not been the first time she had met a client and not been prepared. It was a part of the job sometimes, to walk in and realize she wasn't ready for the task at hand. It's what made her so good at her job though - despite the lack of preparation on the first day, she overcame it and was always ready for the next session.
Not to mention, she came off way too strong yesterday by asking who he was. Most humans were eager to share about themselves and the small things that no one noticed. The question was always best suited for those who had sought her out though, as they were the lost soulfully searching for who they had once been. Megatron was different. He didn't see himself as lost, or maybe he didn't admit he saw that in himself. He had become one thing, a tyrant, and that was his identity. For now, she'd have to be okay with his belief in that.
She'd cut through to his core one day. But until then, she would start off with things that could get him at least talking to her.
The mech leaned back, a snort erupting from him. "Who I hate the most?" He mocked the question.
"Yes," a chill ran up her hands from where she rested them on the cold table. "Who do you hate the most?"
His optics looked away, as if searching through the myriad of answers that shuffled through his mind. "You ask a loaded question, human." his eyes diverted back to her, direct at cutting through to her soul. She wasn't scared. At least, she wasn't going to allow herself to be.
"I'm not asking so I can get into your mind, Megatron." She closed the file and shoved it away from herself. "I'm asking so you will open up to me. If we're to get anywhere, we need at least some form of progressive communication."
"And you believe delving into my most hated enemies will open that pathway for you?"
"I believe diving into those who have driven you to who you became would be a great start, yes."
A brow raised. Did Cybertronians have eyebrows? It certainly looked like it, even though it wasn't made of hair. "No other shrink has broken me down enough to hear me. No shrink has ever cared to listen to the woes of my past. I'm not going to share them with someone just the same as them."
"But I'm not the same as them." she softened her voice. "None of them were the same as each other. That's the beautiful thing about humanity, we're all created differently."
"What is your mission?" He snarked, sidestepping her comment.
"To see if there is good in you."
"To make me into a puppet of your government!" his forearms raised and crashed again. She watched as his optics flickered as if pain seared through his body. "You are no better because you are here for the same reason as them. I will not bow down to humanity so they can steal my secrets and use them for another war!"
"So you're worried about another war beginning?"
"No," his gaze darkened. "I-" his words cut short and he stared far off into the distance.
Aurora sat back in her seat and studied him. The way his expression contorted with deep thought. She wanted to know what was happening behind the facade. Buried under years of war and turmoil, who was Megatron? Was he worried about another war? Or was there something else that plagued him about the humans getting his information? He cared so little for humanity that it couldn't be the former. No, it had to do with something about his own people. Under the anger and deception was a living being who had thoughts and emotions. He was worried about his own people.
"Are you worried about how they could use your information against your own?"
His shoulders tensed.
Bingo.
"If your kind are so intent about getting this information from me by any means necessary, why do they not kill me?" The question was raw, unfiltered by rage.
She studied him when his optics finally turned back to her and did the same back. "I can imagine it's as easy as pulling one's memories from a dead human brain. They might be able to see how your mind worked, the mechanicals of it, the wires that connected to each other, but to gather actual information from your years past would be impossible."
"Not even your race is as advanced as they'd like to believe themselves to be." A smirk crossed his face for a moment and then disappeared into another angered snarl.
"I don't think it's about advancement, Megatron." her arms folded across her chest gently. "It's more that when a living being dies, so does what makes them. Their soul, their emotions, their experiences. Those are all meant to be felt in the living world, a part of what makes us who we are. When we are dead, we no longer need those, and so they go with us."
His eyes narrowed. "Do you fear death, Aurora Clark?"
"I fear how I die," she adjusted herself so that she was leaning back a little more in her seat. "Death inherently is not terrifying to me. I know where I'm going-"
He snorted again. "And where is that?"
"Heaven." she watched for any reaction. "Where will you go when you die?"
"The Well of Allsparks."
"So you Cybertronians do have an afterlife?"
"We. . ." he seemed to shift uncomfortably where he sat. "No living Cybertronian knows what the Well of Allsparks is like - there is only speculation. There are theories."
"Tell me." she was hitting a gold mine in getting him to talk, she couldn't let him stop now.
"One is that we simply merge back with the Well of Allsparks that we came from. We cease to exist in any form beside what is left in the memories of those we left behind. The other is similar to your heaven where we will continue to live yet only in a paradise."
"Is there any place for-" she cut her words, realizing who she was talking to.
"For the wicked like me?" he finished. "There is another theory of the Pit, it has yet to be proven. Hell, in your human terms."
She watched him shift again. "Do you fear it? The Pit?"
"Do I fear what I do not believe in?"
She shrugged, nodding her head. "Whether you believe it or not, it sounds terrifying."
"I do not fear rumors." his voice rumbled through her chest. "It is a sparkling's tale, conjured to bring obedience. I once believed rumors and this is where it has landed me," he raised his shackles. "Chained on another planet. Berated by beings who are far lesser than me in every way. I will never believe in lies again."
"But yet you believe in your own."
His glare sharpened and she could almost feel it. Then it softened as memories seemed to glaze through his mind. "There was once a time that my lies were a truth."
She sat up. This. This was getting somewhere. "A truth when your system was corrupt and needed a new leader?"
"It was misguided by the wealthy and my own were mistreated for encroaching on their territory when we simply asked for more rights." his optics glowed brighter. "It needed a leader who would fight for the people, who understood the plights of the broken."
"And you were to be that leader?" She slowly opened her notebook, taking notes as quietly as she could so not to draw him from his memories.
"I was to be the bringer of a new age. The golden era had only been for those born into it and no one else. They needed a reminder that their lives were not the only ones that breathed on our planet." She watched his optics seem to disappear into another time. "When they refused. . . When they laughed at us. . ." the light of his optics flashed back and he sat up taller, his glare centered on her. "Do not trick me human into speaking of my past!"
She scattered back at his roar, her hand accidentally ripping the page she'd written on.
"You have no understanding of pain, human! You have not witnessed what I have seen! You have not seen destruction like I have! You have no right to be here, to know my past, and to examine it as if you were there yourself!" Though his body was held down, his shadow towered over her and the platform, rising on the wall behind her. "Leave!"
She collected her things and shook off the fear of his voice. "You are right, Megatron." she kept the shake in her own voice at bay. "I do not understand. I can never understand. But that is why I am here, because I never will without you telling it to me. My job is to help you learn how to bare this weight you carry until you can release it. Do not think me the enemy, Megatron." she couldn't watch him as she stepped carefully down the stairs, feeling his optics watching her every move. At the base, she let out a deep, cool breath and fought the want to say one last word. Instead she walked to the door and knocked.
It unlocked and opened to the two guards waiting outside.
Deagon rounded the corner right as the door was shut and locked once more. She let out a sigh, she'd hoped to evade him today as she returned her lanyard to him. Slipping it over her head, she held it out toward him as he approached.
"Eager to leave, are we?" His voice was light and held an air of snark. Day two and she already wanted nothing to do with him. A part of her wondered how Megatron would react if she went back inside his prison.
"Our session ran short today, yes." she dropped the lanyard into his hands. "He seemed aggravated. Any reason as to why, other than you threatening to shock him for no apparent reason?"
Deagon rolled his eyes and followed her as she walked toward the elevator. "He's a towering warlord who's captivated by a species thirty times smaller than he is. I'd be permanently pissed off too if I were in a similar situation."
She stopped and eyed the Warden. Her mouth opened to say something and then she decided against it. There was no fuel worth adding to the fire that was Deagon Burgiss. Aurora walked on, wanting so badly to go home and curl up with her cat.
"Hey, so," she didn't know why that statement made her feel trapped. Maybe it was because she knew a question was coming that she wasn't wanting to answer. "There's a place downtown that has fantastic food. Would you want to discuss important things over dinner some time? Maybe tonight?"
She stopped again and scoffed. "You're really not going to give me at least time to settle in before asking me on a date?"
"Hey," he raised his arms in mocking defense. "I said discuss important things. We could talk over the conversations you and Megs have been having."
She pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing. "HIPAA laws, Warden."
"Last I checked, he's not human."
"Last I checked, he's my patient. I don't care what he's made out of, I will respect his rights."
"He doesn't have rights. He forfeited those when he killed our own people."
"And yet humans who do the same abide under those laws? I will not be talking with you about our sessions." She could sense anger rising from the man, but he refused to show it.
Instead of showing any, he deeply breathed and pressed the elevator button for her as they came up to it. "I get that you feel that way," his words were tense, hiding his true feelings. "But this mech doesn't deserve rights like us humans do, even the worst of us. You'll come to see that eventually though. When you're ready to share what he's talking about, I'll be ready to listen."
She walked into the small elevator and turned to face him. "If I am to be here and help give him a fresh start, whether it's for him or for the government, I need to let him know through every means possible that he is being given every chance. That includes privacy to what he is sharing with me. Because, tell me Deagon, if you were to share your worst memories with someone, would you really want them shouting it out to the world?"
The door closed and she left him with the thought. Hopefully it would help him understand her reasoning. She needed Megatron to trust her in a way he never trusted anyone else. If she were to break the shell he'd built around himself, she had to become a friend, and if not that, then someone that wasn't his enemy. That started with him knowing she wasn't going to share his secrets with the world. It started with him knowing that he could trust her. She couldn't break that hope before she even had it.