Chapter 10: Of Brave Horsewomen and Sudden Jealousy
Onyx landed and shook his head, trying to get rid of the lasso and run, but Hermes neighed and stood his ground. Jane rolled her eyes at the stranger. She pushed the man to the side by poking him with a carrot. The man was so shocked that he immediately jumped two steps away. She could not know he had a horrible memory of a bayonet from his latest deployment. He stared in a mixture of awe and annoyance at the brave young woman.
"Hello Onyx… I am so sorry this impertinent man scared you!"
The man's jaw fell. How am I the impertinent one? The horse could have killed her.
"I just want to bring you home with Hermes… Are you hungry? I bet you are missing your treats," Jane bit the tip of one of her carrots. "Mmm, this is really good, Onyx. Do you want some?" She stepped closer, offering the vegetable.
Onyx took a tentative step forward and took a demure bite. His eyes were still scared. She took another step forward and offered the rest of the carrot. Onyx took it and allowed her to caress his hose and neck.
"You poor thing. You must be so tired. We were worried about you."
Onyx neighed and then munched on the second carrot.
"Come, I will get you to the stables," she turned and saw the man staring at her, shocked. "If you do not mind, sir. I need to return before they come find me."
"They as in who?"
"Mr. Darcy's stable hands."
Colonel Fitzwilliam would have joked about the obvious pun, but he had no idea who she was and did not want to offend a stranger. She was brave and beautiful, and clearly, she was not one to cower from strangers. He decided that being friendly and playful was the way to go.
"Hmm," he stroked his chin. "You cannot be Georgie. I know I haven't visited in a while, but you just cannot be her… Are you?"
Jane blinked, unsure if he was serious, "I assure you that young women do not age years overnight, sir."
He sighed dramatically, "That is most unfortunate. If you were Georgie, I could tell you off."
Jane frowned. "Why would you, sir? I had the situation perfectly under control until you recklessly intervened."
"Because I share her guardianship with Darcy."
Jane looked confused at that and looked down at his muddy boots, "I did not know she had another guardian."
He chuckled, "Yes, well, I am the permissive one… Darcy is the strict disciplinarian."
Jane fought a smile and lost, "And yet... you were going to tell her off."
"Indeed. For ignoring me in favor of rushing after a horse in no immediate danger."
"For ignoring you?" Jane tried hard not to laugh.
"Yes! I am her favorite doting cousin, after all," he smiled his most charming smile.
"I see," she nodded. She did not seem impressed at all. She was not haughty either, just unaffected.
"Colonel Fitzwilliam, at your service," He bowed, still puzzled at her lack of reaction.
"Miss Bennet. I am a guest of Mr. Darcy's," she curtseyed.
The colonel smiled. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance-" He was rudely interrupted by distant lightning, but it was from the west. The colonel looked at his watch. "Well, Miss Bennet, as much as I am enjoying our conversation. It is time to run."
"Run? But Mr. Darcy said I had twenty minutes at the first lightning from the east."
"Yes, Miss Bennet, but that was from the west, and that gives us five minutes at best!"
The colonel did not even let her process that when he had lifted her into the saddle and shortened the tie between Onyx and Hermes.
"It is a good thing you are the best horsewoman I ever saw! Forget whatever Darcy said, and go as fast as you can!" he exclaimed as he got on his horse. Jane blushed at his compliment but dug her heels into the horse's sides.
Together, they galloped as fast as the horses would allow. The colonel saw, with great admiration, how Miss Bennet lowered her torso over Hermes so the wind would not slow her down. They even jumped over some rocks with ease. Richard noticed Onyx had a hurt leg, but he could still gallop and even run. He lowered his torso as well, and just when the stables were visible at a distance, the skies parted, and rain started pouring heavily, the way it only did in the North this time of year.
"Good Lord! It is like ice!" he heard her exclaim, but she did not stop until they were in the stables, where eager staff were getting ready to go and find Miss Bennet.
Mr. Darcy was about to get on a horse when they rushed in.
"Miss Bennet! You found Onyx! Are you well?"
Her teeth were clattering, but she nodded, "I a-a-am w-well."
"Who the-?"
"Darcy!"
"Richard?!" he exclaimed as he rushed to help Miss Bennet down. A maid wrapped her in a blanket and walked her to the small changing room. "What the devil are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here? What do you think?! I was worried sick! You never change plans so suddenly. Bingley was ready to travel, and you write an express to delay him?"
"Circumstances changed," Mr. Darcy said as he wrapped a blanket around his cousin. "Where did you find Miss Bennet?"
"Past the pastures way on the west limits of the property."
"No wonder you got soaked. I only warned her about the eastern storms. Roberts, the barouche, please."
"Darcy, please. I am already wet. There is no need."
William rolled his eyes, "Who said it was for you?" and slapped the back of his cousin's head. He looked at the changing room.
Richard grimaced. Of course. He was so used to being among men only that he usually forgot the niceties that women expected. As he dried his hair, he chatted, "Darcy, what have you been feeding that young lady?"
William blinked, confused, "Miss Bennet?"
"Yes!"
"What everyone else is eating... Why? Whatever do you mean?" Mr. Darcy frowned. He did not understand.
"I have never seen such a horsewoman!" Richard exclaimed. "She jumped a fence at full speed as if it was nothing, and she lassoed Onyx successfully while doing it. And that lasso was incredibly accurate! I have never seen such a thing! She is a better rider than most men I know. Even those in the cavalry, and that is saying something! And she… She approached a spooked horse like it was nothing. Got him to eat off her hand after she took a bite. I never saw such a lady! I-"
Mr. Darcy smiled at Miss Bennet, who was standing behind Richard, blushing as she came out of the changing room wearing her previous dress.
"I would not eat anything from a stranger if I were scared, sir. Would you?" Miss Bennet said. Mr. Darcy took off his coat and handed it to her. "Thank you for the compliment, colonel. And for your coat, Mr. Darcy. I am sorry if I worried you," she smiled at Darcy, but the colonel noticed no batting of eyelashes nor a coquettish smile. That was a first.
"Please get on the barouche. Now that you are dry, I would rather you stay that way," Mr. Darcy smiled as he helped her in. "Everyone, please be advised that Miss Bennet can ride any horse in the stables. She enjoys horseback riding, and I want her to be able to partake in the sport whenever she wants."
Jane smiled. She was afraid he would instead limit her chances. She thanked him.
The staff chorused, "Yes, sir."
Miss Benner was ushered quickly upstairs for a hot bath. Once he changed and came back down, Richard was welcomed by an overly enthusiastic Georgiana, who almost knocked him flat with her hug.
"Georgie!" he exclaimed. "I need to be able to breathe!"
"Richard! Why did you not send word ahead?"
"You know I delight in vexing Mrs. Reynolds," He winked and laughed, putting her down.
"I will go and see about supper," Georgiana smiled and skipped away.
"Miss Darcy?" Mary walked their way.
"She is talking to Mrs. Reynolds. Is there anything you need?" Mr. Darcy asked.
Mary looked at the stranger, "No, sir. I just wanted to let her know that we ran out of broth, and Aunt Maddy ran out of tea."
Corinne, who was in hearing range, replied, "On my way, Mr. Darcy."
"Thank you," he nodded at her retreating figure. "Miss Mary, this is my cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam. Richard, this is Miss Mary Bennet. Miss Bennet's younger sister."
"It is my pleasure," the colonel bowed and smiled again.
Mary blushed but did nothing more than curtsey, "Pleased to meet you, colonel."
"Miss Mary, you can go back upstairs. I can send for you when supper is served."
"Thank you, sir. Colonel," she nodded and walked away.
"Darcy, you need to tell me what is happening here."
"Follow me to the study."
The colonel stopped pacing and pulled his hair back, "Are you telling me that this Miss Bennet is the Miss Bennet you encouraged Bingley to stay away from?"
Darcy sighed into his tea and nodded.
"You fool! What were you thinking?! That is one magnificent lady! Bingley would only be so lucky!"
"I know."
"And she is the eldest sister to Miss Elizabeth?"
Darcy nodded.
"Why did you not tell me the name of the lady you saved Bingley from, Darcy?! I thought I was helping you when she asked!"
"I did not think it was relevant. You and Charles are not that close."
Richard huffed as if to say that their closeness did not matter, "And they are both staying here?"
A nod.
"And you proposed in Rosings, and it was a disaster, and you did not tell me?!"
Another nod.
"And Miss Elizabeth refused you?!"
"She did."
"And you did not tell me?!" Richard angrily slapped the desk.
"I did not. I could not. Richard… It was so embarrassing. I knew you would be furious and mock me for the rest of my life. Forgive me if I did not want that."
"Hmm… And then you magically found her here and apologized, and she forgave you?"
"She did," he smiled.
"And now you are courting her?"
"I am," his smile widened.
"And half her family is here?"
"They are," he nodded.
"And both her aunt and her father are, for different reasons, ill?"
"Unfortunately, that is the case."
"How on earth did all this happen, and you told me nothing?!"
"Richard…" Darcy did not even know how to explain himself.
Richard went around his desk to stand next to his chair, "God damn it, William... While I am technically your cousin… I am your brother first. Why would you keep me in the dark while all this was happening? I could have been here! Helping you, supporting you, taking care of Georgie. I am her guardian, too. You needed me here, and where was I? Up to my ears with lace and fripperies at different modistes. And -I have not had a chance to tell you this- Mother has been pushing me to go to balls and social occasions. She thinks it is time I seriously peruse the marriage mart."
Darcy sighed, "I know, Richard. I am sorry. It has been… A lot. Your mother has been hinting at that for years. I think she finally got fed up of waiting... As for me, I am barely keeping up with my correspondence. Abrahams is working overtime."
"Your poor steward!"
"Tired he may be, but poor he is most certainly not."
"That is very true," Richard chuckled. "Now, where is Miss Elizabeth? I am looking forward to seeing her again."
"Richard," William said in a warning tone.
"What? We are friends."
"Please, Elizabeth and her family have been through a lot lately."
"I am all politeness, Darcy," Richard chuckled. "Come here," he pulled his cousin up and hugged him tightly. Darcy was brave and used to handling his own business since he was young, but Richard knew he was a softie and needed moments like this. His dear aunt, Lady Anne Darcy, had been very doting with her affection for her son. She peppered his face with kisses and hugged him often. His father was a bit more restrained, but he always hugged his son at least once daily.
Darcy squeezed him back, "Thank you for coming, Richard."
"I am at your disposal. Now, tell me… Is Miss Bennet eagerly waiting for Bingley?"
With a slight frown, William stared at his cousin, "The answer to that question depends…"
"On what?" the colonel frowned.
"On why you want to know, Richard," Darcy raised a brow at him.
Richard chuckled and raised his glass of cognac, "If you are not telling… Neither am I. To Miss Bennet's health and horsewomanship, then."
"To Miss Bennet's health and horsewomanship," Darcy replied, raising his teacup. He stared at Richard suspiciously, but he just smiled like the cat that got the milk. Richard was very happy to have most of the gossip.
Supper was a wonderful affair. After Richard was introduced to Mrs. Bennet, what followed was just plentiful, delicious food, and easy conversations. Miss Elizabeth and Miss Mary came downstairs late, after a maid went up to relieve them from caring for their family members. Richard was all politeness to both, as promised. Miss Elizabeth was glad to see him again. Miss Darcy played for a while after dinner. Richard did not want to leave the ladies. Neither did Darcy. They did not separate. After half an hour of music, however, Richard, tired from his ride, went upstairs to his room, not before he escorted both Mrs. Bennet and Miss Mary to their rooms. He was shocked to find that they were staying in the family wing. Darcy never did that.
Georgiana convinced Lizzie to sing, and Mr. Darcy just stared at his intended like a lovesick puppy. Jane stared at him and smiled as she pretended to read. She was so happy that her sister had earned the affection of such a wonderful man. Jane changed her position and relished when she felt her slightly sore muscles react. After a few songs, she started to yawn. Mr. Darcy noticed this and cleared his throat. Georgiana closed the instrument.
"Maybe we should all retire. It is getting late."
They all went upstairs. Jane and Lizzie looked into their father, who was unchanged. The maid insisted she had it under control and that they should sleep. Mr. Darcy smiled at her gratefully from the door and made a mental note to tell Mrs. Reynolds to lessen her duties the following two days. The sisters kissed their father's forehead and went back out. He walked Lizzie to her room. Then, he walked Jane to her door.
"Thank you, Mr. Darcy."
"No, thank you, Miss Bennet," he began.
"Me? Why?"
"What you did for Onyx was incredible. I am in your debt. Roberts thinks he will recover soon."
"I am glad to be of service."
"I usually ride very early in the morning, in case you want to join me," he smiled. "I usually go with my steward. Now that Richard is here, he will probably join me."
"I am glad my scene did not scandalize him."
"Oh, no. Not at all. He was impressed. As a military man, very little scandalizes him... I wanted to apologize in advance. As he has been in service for a while, he tends to forget the social graces my Aunt fought so hard to impart."
Jane laughed demurely, "Worry not. He did not do anything too untoward."
"Good. If he gets to be too much, do let me know. Sometimes, his attempts at humor are too dry and dark."
"I will. Thank you, sir."
"Why?"
"For caring," she squeezed his hand. "Sleep well, sir."
"You too, Miss Bennet," Mr. Darcy smiled as he walked to his room.
He was glad to get a chance to get to know his soon-to-be sisters on a deeper level.
Lizzie was glad that her maid helped her change quickly. She could not wait to speak to William alone. She found him waiting for her on the sofa. She rushed to cuddle to his side. It was a cold night. He pulled a thick blanket from the sofa's arm and draped it over her legs. He then kissed her forehead.
"Did you know the colonel was coming?"
"No. When I saw him ride into the stables with Jane and Onyx, I was very surprised."
"There are no impossibles for Jane and her lasso," Lizzie chuckled against his shoulder.
"What?"
"My father wanted sons, Mr. Darcy. As he did not have any, he sought to impart one manly skill or another to all his daughters."
"He did?"
"Yes. Jane can lasso better than most men in our neighborhood. She can do it from the ground. She can do it on a stopped horse. She can do it while galloping. It is very impressive. Too shocking for a lady, I suppose. But impressive indeed."
"Richard was thoroughly impressed."
"I am glad she is being recognized for her skills," Lizzie smiled at him.
Mr. Darcy smiled back. So was he. Especially now that he knew she yearned to be a lot more than beautiful.
"Do tell me, dearest, what other skills were you ladies taught?"
"Mary, besides being a good musician, is the most accomplished fisherwoman you will ever meet."
"No! Miss Mary? Fishing?"
"Indeed. She delights in silence and solitude as much as you, I suppose. Fishing is a great pastime to stay away from loud younger sisters and be able to read or think. There is also the advantage of getting food on the table."
"That too, of course," his smile made his eyes crinkle. His hand rubbed her upper arm to warm her.
"Lydia is a great shot."
He was shocked. Usually, ladies were not even allowed to see firearms, "Really?"
"Yes. She would always help Papa hunt… And that is the only time she is ever serious and quiet and focused, in case you were wondering."
"I was not," he chuckled. "What about Miss Catherine?"
"Kitty… Do not ever play billiards against her. You will lose all your money."
He laughed, "Are you in earnest?"
"I am. I can play chess, but I am nowhere near as ruthless as her."
He frowned, confused.
"My father made sure to teach me how to play chess, and I was supposed to teach my sisters. But again, no one took to it with as much vengeance as Kitty. Be prepared to lose anything you bet against her."
"That is good to know, I suppose… What about you, Lizzie?"
She said something against his chest, but it was muffled.
"What?"
"I can fence."
Mr. Darcy's jaw fell. "You fence?"
"I can. My father saw me playing pirates, and I was using a branch as a sword. I imagine he wanted me to control my aggressiveness and put it to good use," she chuckled. "I used to do it more when I was younger. Father was stronger and wanted the practice. When I… When I grew older, he chose not to practice with me anymore. My mother complained that…. Oh, never mind," she hid her face against him.
"Oh, no. Now, you must tell me."
"Promise not to laugh."
"I promise to try not to…" he countered with a charming smile.
Lizzie blushed bright red, "Mother complained that I needed to stop because I was giving the neighbors a show."
"A show?" he blinked.
"Well, yes. I… When we started, I was a child… Then, I became a woman. He would never let me wear the male fencing costume, and while fencing in a dress is uncomfortable, I got used to it… But then I… developed, and my mother loudly complained when she saw that the neighbors were coming to watch religiously."
"I am not following, dearest."
"William… This is so embarrassing... My mother loudly complained that my… my bosom was bouncing, and that was the only reason the neighbors came to watch. You see, I had always thought that they would come because I was good at it…"
Mr. Darcy did not know what to say, and he had to make an effort not to look down at the aforementioned bosom. He swallowed thickly, "I see."
"My mother means well, I know. But the amount of humiliation we have had to endure over the years because of her nervous fits or her inability to control her speech is… significant."
"I am sorry... Dearest… I talked to her."
"To my mother?"
He nodded.
"About what?"
"Many things… But I did tell her I was courting you and that we did not -out of respect for Mrs. Gardiner and Mr. Bennet- want to make a big deal out of it... I know I should have asked you first, but I knew she was worried about finances and the estate being entailed. Since she suffers from her nerves, I wanted to assuage her fears. I promised her I would never allow her or your sisters to become destitute."
"Is that why she was less prone to her nerves today?"
"I hope so."
"Thank you, love."
He turned his whole body to face her. His eyes were full of emotion.
"Is something wrong?" she asked.
"You have never called me that before."
"I know, William. I feel that if I start using it freely here, I will not be able to stop out there, and until we are openly engaged, we should not use such terms."
"I understand; just whisper it so I can hear it again."
Lizzie strained her neck closer to his ear, "You are my love, William."
He sighed and melted against the back of the sofa with a goofy smile.
Lizzie giggled, "Really? Five words are all it takes to get you in this state?"
"It is not the words, Lizzie… It is the meaning behind them, the feeling. You must understand, dearest. I was certain that I would never see you again after my terrible proposal... I had no hopes of talking to you again, and now you are here," he pulled her closer and laid his forehead against hers. "I get to touch you, to hold you, to kiss you," his lips pressed against hers, and all her thoughts screeched to a halt.
All she could do was feel him, taste him, and try not to turn into the molten lava she felt in the pit of her stomach, a sensation slowly traveling south. His arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer. His lips were making her feel things she did not imagine were possible. She could not believe the sounds that were coming out of her either, but she could not help it. When her hands that had been playing with his hair traveled to his chest and slowly lowered further down, he stopped and pushed himself away from her and to the opposite side of the sofa.
"Forgive me."
"Whatever for?"
"I should not… We should go to sleep, Elizabeth," he took deep, agitated breaths.
Did he not like kissing her? She supposed he had kissed others before her, and the thought made her feel cold and nauseous. Her eyes filled with tears.
"Did I do something wrong, William?"
"What?" he looked at her. "No! Not at all, dearest. It is me. I… It is really difficult to control myself when it is just us."
"Who said you had to control yourself? I want this as much as you do…"
The sound that came out of him was guttural and primal, and before she knew it, he had her pinned beneath his body on the sofa. He kissed her with wild abandon. He used his tongue in addition to his lips, and she became a mess. The things she was feeling… How her body was reacting… It was all new and exciting. But she also felt a bit self-conscious. Did he think her too wanton? Was he comparing her to other women? She felt a -until now- foreign jealousness and possessiveness. She could never share her husband. Was she going to have to do so?
He sensed her discomfort and stopped. He rested his head against her neck.
"I have scared you... I am so sorry, Lizzie. I-"
"You did not scare me, William… I just… Forget it. Perhaps you are right, and we should go to sleep."
"Lizzie, please." He stared at her, "I can tell something is troubling you. Do not run away. Talk to me. If I did not shock you or offend you, I would like to know-"
"How many others have there been?" she said rapidly before she lost her nerve.
"I beg your pardon?" He pushed himself off her and sat back up. He did look shocked.
"How many other women have there been?" she got up and paced. "After we are married, will there be others? Will you keep a... a mistress?"
He frowned deeply, "Lizzie, please sit down."
"Just tell me!"
"Sit down," he said, his tone stern.
She sat down in an armchair, increasing the distance between them, "I am sitting; speak."
"Where is this coming from?"
"Do not answer my question with a question, sir," she bristled, crossing her arms over her chest.
He took a deep breath and sighed. He stood and knelt in front of her chair. He offered her his hands. She could not refuse him and placed hers over his.
"Elizabeth… I have been an estate master since I was fifteen years old. When I went to Eton, I asked my professors for additional work so that I would finish earlier. My father was already ill. I knew he did not have long left. I finished earlier than most of my classmates. I came back to Pemberley to find my father on his deathbed. He died the same year I turned eighteen… I then went to Cambridge. I applied the same logic. Most men my age were going to parties, to taverns, to gentleman's clubs, and to brothels, but I was focused on finishing my studies. I wanted to come back to Pemberley and stay here. Gigi needed me. I would travel home every week. Our staff was always kind, loving, and loyal, but I knew I needed to return. I saw myself as her father figure, not just her brother, and because of that, I did not spend any precious time on anything that could have delayed my return."
Elizabeth nodded but said nothing; she just squeezed his hands. He sat on his heels but did not let go of her hands.
"Dearest, I saw firsthand the horrors that resulted from young men giving into the temptations of the world and having no discipline or self-control. Many of my classmates at Cambridge became wayward drunks, gamblers, womanizers, and plain cads. Mr. Wickham was one of those men. He must have around fifteen children out of wedlock at this point."
Lizzie gasped. "Fifteen?!"
"I assume, given his patterns of behavior and the cases I am certain of his responsibility or lack thereof… Lizzie, Wickham is the father of Esther's baby girl. Gigi does not know this, and I beg you to spare her. While he was declaring love for Georgiana, he was bedding Esther, her maid. Under the same roof… just a floor away. He seduced her. Told her many pretty lies. She was young and innocent. She believed him. He manipulated her, he got her with child, and then -she told me- he said he would not have anything to do with that child. He said she could not prove he was the father. He further insulted her by telling her he did not know how many men she had allowed such liberties."
"How awfully cruel."
"Quite. Esther lost her family because of him. Her parents shunned her and forced her to stop using the family name. They sent their other daughter with her because they read correspondence between them. Apparently, Esther had confided in Mary that she was in love."
"Oh no."
"And so, when I found out about his plan to elope with Georgiana, I also found out shortly thereafter what happened to Esther. She begged me not to dismiss her. I could not keep her as Gigi's maid. But I would not send her away to the hedgerows -as Mrs. Bennet would put it- because what happened to her could have happened to Gigi. I gave her a small living as a farmer here and helped her start to produce eggs and chicken. She employs a couple of men, and it allows her a decent living."
"William," she caressed his face. "You are a wonderful man."
"I try to be fair. That is all…" He kissed her hand. "Elizabeth… I am telling you this because, while I understand it is common knowledge that most men are not expected to wait and choose not to save themselves for marriage, the way women are expected and almost forced to do, really, I did the opposite."
"You mean to say you have never-"
"No, dearest. What we have shared… Kisses, caresses, embraces… I have only ever shared them with you, and I never want to share them with another… It fills me with joy to know that we are to discover all that with each other... Lizzie, I know men who have... mistresses," he blushed. "I find the practice distasteful and dangerous."
"Dangerous?"
"Yes, love. Some diseases and infections can be passed between people in that way. I do not know how those men go to their other women and return home to be with their wives... Many a wife has been infected by a husband they thought was faithful to them. A woman I met once died from complications of the French disease while with child. Her husband, like Wickham, enjoyed visiting all sorts of seedy establishments."
"Dear Lord!" she gasped.
"I would never endanger my wife for something as absurd as people's perceptions of what I should do. I was not raised to keep a mistress. Many men in my circle were… The foundation of that practice is, I think, that most marriages are arranged. The bride and groom do not know each other well. Sometimes, they actively dislike one another. To those marriages, I fear, the marriage bed becomes a chore, a duty necessary for procreation… Most women are raised to protect their virtue at all costs and to never allow a man to touch them. And then, once they marry, they are still terrified of the act. Who could blame them? If someone told you that an act is sinful and will lead to the ruination of your whole life, how could you be expected to completely change all you know and welcome a man's touch overnight?"
"I have always wondered... I know mothers speak to their daughters before the wedding, but it seems too abrupt a change… I… I hope you do not think me wanton or reprehensible for the liberties I have allowed you," she looked down.
He shook his head and lifted her chin to meet her eyes, "I could never, in good conscience, judge you for something I did with you, my love. I just hope that all these moments we spend together ease your way into intimacy and that it is not traumatic once we are married. I need you to know, even now, no matter what I am doing, no matter how good it feels… if you want to stop, I always will. It is my wish that you come to see your enjoyment as equally important to my own. I want nothing more than to please you, my love."
Lizzie kissed him slowly. His words made her feel much more secure in her decision to marry him than she thought was possible.
He sighed against her lips, "Dearest… My father was completely devoted to my mother even after her death. He never sought to remarry. Many people thought he should get a new wife to help him with his children. He said his heart and any notions of romance he had died and were buried with her… Their marriage was based on affection and mutual respect. I have always wanted that for Georgiana… and myself."
Lizzie smiled and kissed his forehead. She pulled him up to stand, "And you shall have it, William. Please forgive my outburst. I do not know what got into me."
"Love, I do not mind… It is quite flattering that you would be jealous of me, and you have every right to be possessive of what is already yours, Lizzie. And I am… totally," He kissed her left cheek, "completely," he kissed her right cheek, "irrevocably," he kissed her nose, "and absolutely yours, forever," he kissed her lips slowly.
She hugged him and caressed his back, "I feel so blessed that we found each other."
"I was close to losing my faith over this, Lizzie," William chuckled.
She laughed, "William! You cannot!"
"I'm sorry, love. I had prayed really hard for a long time, and I truly felt it was not working at all."
"And now?"
"My faith is stronger than ever, dearest. As is my love for you," he kissed the top of her head. "Now, Lizzie, go to bed before I lose my will to let go of you."
She smiled and pecked his lips, "Good night, love."
When she reached the door, she turned over her shoulder, "Mr. Darcy?"
"Yes?"
"If your parents were so in love… why did they sleep in separate rooms?"
William blushed. "They did not… It was the way houses were built. My mother did enjoy having her own bathing and changing room… But when I was a child and had nightmares, I knew that if I came to Mother and she was not here, I would find it in my father's chambers or vice versa."
Lizzie smiled, "I am glad to hear it. Once we marry, I do not want to sleep away from you ever again." She closed the door but saw a glimpse of his elated expression.
Mr. Darcy waited until she locked the door, and she jumped up in joy like he used to do when he was a boy. His future wife was everything he had not even dared to dream of… She loved him. She welcomed his attention. She welcomed his touch… She was very responsive to his kisses. She was jealous of hypothetical women who had not and would never exist with her as his wife. He was more confident than ever that he had made the right choice. He went back to his room with a pep in his step. His fiancé was possessive over him, and he loved it. He supposed it was childish, but in his defense, he had to grow up quickly. He drifted off to sleep with a satisfied smile on his face.