Chapter 11
Christian
"Sir, it's nearly two o'clock. You have two hours before your appointment at the lab," Taylor said. "Should I take you home? Or perhaps you want to kill some time with errands."
"No errands for me. How about you?" His question took Taylor by surprise. It was highly irregular for Taylor to take care of personal business on his boss's time.
"No, thank you. It would be improper for me to use your time. I only asked because it seems silly to go back to Escala for only an hour or so."
"Let's acknowledge the elephant sitting between us. I've been kicked out of my business and my life is pretty fucked up right now. I really don't give a shit where I end up. If you need to drop off dry cleaning for Gail, purchase some hemorrhoid cream, or buy some fucking postage stamps, I'm along for the ride."
Taylor started the car and backed out of one of the five CEO reserved spaces.
"Very well, sir. Sophie's birthday is this weekend and I haven't gotten her any presents. Would it be okay if we stop at a toy store?"
"Like I said, I really don't give a shit."
"You're sure?" Taylor appraised him skeptically.
"Of course, I'm sure," Christian answered, wondering why Taylor would doubt him.
"Then we'll go to Sophie's favorite shop. It's not far from the lab, so we'll easily stay on schedule."
Taylor made a left onto Fourth Street.
"What does Sophie want for her birthday?" He asked this to be polite, not because he actually cared what the current trends were for little girls' birthday gifts.
"She's crazy about Hello Kitty, video games, and any of the typical pink frilly stuff." Taylor smiled to himself, obviously happy to talk about the apple of his eye.
Pink. Hello Kitty. Just like Mia, when she was small.
"Hello Kitty is still around?" Christian asked. "Will that damn cat never die? Jeez. Mia swore the character was a little girl, but she sure looked like a cat to me."
His CPO chuckled in amusement.
"Did I say something funny? Am I wrong? That cartoon figure is not human. It totally looks like a cat," Christian said.
"I'm laughing because I've never heard you comment on popular culture," Taylor said. "Your remark seemed out of character, that's all."
Out of character.
He wondered if Taylor and others were surprised by his recent felonious act. Did it seem out of character or did they always know a monster dwelled within?
"Sir…" His CPO hesitated for a beat. "When you said you've been kicked out of your business, what did you mean?"
"Bailey and Nicholls suggested a ninety day leave of absence. They're trying to mitigate damage to GEH. I can't blame them, but I don't have to like it."
"Ninety days will pass in the blink of an eye. You'll be back at the helm in no time," Taylor reassured him.
"I hope you're right." To Christian the ninety days felt as good as a prison sentence.
"Here we are. Snapdoodle," Taylor announced, pulling into a shopping strip. "I'll try not to keep you here for long."
"It's not like I have anywhere else to be."
Christian noted the irony of their roles being reversed, as he dutifully followed his CPO into the store.
The shop was an explosion of color and the lighting felt a bit too bright. Kiddie music was piped through the store, the current selection being a song about how making friends is grand: "The more the merrier, the more the fun."
Fuck my life.
It was too late to complain. He'd agreed to the outing and now he'd have to endure.
A friendly young woman in braids approached them.
"Good afternoon. May I help you find something?"
"I'm shopping for my daughter's ninth birthday. Is all of the Hello Kitty merchandise in one location?" Taylor asked.
"No, sir. It's sprinkled through the store. Is there something in particular you're looking for?" The girl looked to be high school age, eager to serve. Christian wondered if this was her first job.
Unbidden, a memory of Ana appeared. She'd possessed the same eagerness when she'd waited on him at Clayton Hardware. Those were indeed happier times.
"I'm looking for a Hello Kitty beading kit. At least I think that's how she described it."
"Those have been very popular, but we just received a new shipment. Follow me."
Taylor looked back at him, reluctant to leave him to his own devices.
"Don't worry about me," Christian said. "I can entertain myself."
As he wandered up and down aisles, he was flooded with childhood memories: family game nights, Elliot hiding Mia's favorite doll, the chemistry set he received for his twelfth birthday.
He wondered what Kit's memories would hold. He felt sure that with Ana for a mother, they would be happy ones.
The store was large with seemingly everything a kid could want. He hadn't wanted for much in the way of material goods while growing up as a Grey. He'd arrived with nothing, but Grace and Carrick had given him his own room, filled with books, blocks, cars, and a stuffed giraffe.
There was one thing he wanted, but never got. A teddy bear.
Elliot had one. And soon after her arrival, Mia was gifted one. But Christian had never been offered a bear, and being mute, he had no way to express his wants. By the time he was finally speaking, he was six years old and felt silly asking for a bear.
"Excuse me," he asked a young mother with children in tow. "Do you know where I can find the teddy bears?"
She stepped back and pushed her two sons behind her. She looked frightened.
This is weird.
She pointed toward the left rear of the store. "Back there," she said, her voice strained.
"Thanks."
He found the soft toy section easily enough. Two little girls were dancing around the display, handling the toys while discussing the merits of each.
His eyes soon landed on the perfect brown bear, not too small and not too large, with the perfect blend of softness and squishability.
No silly, useless giraffes for Kit. My kid will have a proper teddy bear, just like all the other kids.
"Amira! Imani!" A grandmotherly type called frantically to the little girls. "Get away from that bad man!"
Tossing their toys to the floor, the girls dashed to the woman.
"Let's go," she commanded, throwing him a scorching look as she took the girls by the hand and led them out of the store.
He remembered the fearful woman who'd given him directions to the teddy bears. Ros had tried to tell him that he was being portrayed across social media as the worst kind of child abuser.
He'd become a pariah.
Now he fully understood why Ros and Michael had pushed for the leave of absence.
The grandmother had left behind an empty shopping cart, so he put the bear inside and pushed his way down the aisles, while he waited for Taylor.
When he passed a display of Matchbox blister packs, he stopped dead in his tracks.
"What are the odds…" He whispered to himself.
There it was. If it wasn't exactly the same car, it was pretty damn close.
His favorite.
Green.
It was a 1966 Dodge Charger.
His childhood version had been left behind when the policewoman had carried him away from the crack whore's dead body.
He put three in his cart. One for Kit, one for himself, and a spare in case of loss.
He felt a bit silly, because he knew Kit was too young for the car. But even still, he hoped that one day they might play cars together. He didn't know how that would happen, but maybe it was something to strive toward.
He found Taylor carrying a shopping basket, filled to the brim with all things pink. He was speaking amiably with the clerk who'd shown him the Hello Kitty collection.
"Did you find everything you were looking for?" He asked Taylor.
"I think so. Looks like you found something too," Taylor said, peering into the cart.
"I'd like to get something for Sophie," Christian said. Looking to the clerk, he asked, "Do you have any suggestions as to how I might impress a nine-year-old?"
"There's only one left. It's a Hello Kitty digital camera. We got them in yesterday and they've been flying off the shelves. Would you like to see?" She asked.
"Sure, let's go." The two men followed the young woman to the checkout.
"They're such a hot commodity that we had to move them under the counter." She handed Christian the box so he could read about the product. "It uses thermal paper to instantly print black and white images. It's designed for ages five and up, but honestly nine is the perfect age for this camera."
"Is the paper expensive?" He asked. He didn't want to saddle Taylor's child with a burdensome product.
"No, it's readily available and reasonably priced," she said.
"I'll take it," Christian said. "I don't need the cars wrapped, but could I please get the camera and the bear gift wrapped?"
"Are they both for the same recipient?" She asked.
"No, the bear is for my son," he said.
"Is he having a birthday too?" She asked, making casual conversation.
"No, he's only eight weeks."
Fatherhood was new, fresh, and it seemed odd to talk about having a child. But as strange as all of that felt, he was also experiencing a burgeoning sense of pride.
Another clerk came to help gift wrap and soon enough, the two men were on their way.
"Thank you for letting me have time to shop. And thank you for Sophie's gift. She's going to love it," Taylor said.
"You're welcome. I enjoyed that experience. Maybe we can go back again sometime."
But only when women and children no longer recoil at my presence.
"Of course, sir."
"Maybe you can help me understand something," Christian said. "Nicholls told me that dads don't bond as quickly with their kids as mothers do. He suggested that it's just a matter of spending time with the child. What do you think?"
"I concur with Mr. Nicholls," Taylor said. "I think it's especially difficult for you, because you didn't attend Miss Steele's appointments and sonograms. You should go easy on yourself. It'll all come together eventually."
But will eventually be soon enough?
Hello, Dear Reader!
Today is February 17, Kit's day of birth. Because of a special request from Snezhana, you have received this little bonus chapter.
Shout out to all Hello Kitty fans. I threw in mention of her because Sanrio celebrated her 50th birthday last year. Her image has endured in a way I never expected.
In an effort to manage your expectations, I will be traveling during the next two weeks, so I don't know if I'll be able to update during that time. Your patience is appreciated.
Please tell me what topics you're looking forward to seeing in future chapters. I always aim to please.
Laters, P.