"Takahashi... I like boys like you."
Misaki's heart skipped a beat. He was left with his fork halfway to his mouth, and everything he believed about himself became a black screen. Nothing. Everything around him was just that: utter nothingness.
"Sensei?"
He turned away for a moment from the man who had approached until he could fiddle with a lock of his hair. Dwarfed to the side, unable to decipher if all the tangle of feelings he had was due to simple, crude admiration for the handsome man sitting next to him.
"What is it, Takahashi?"
"It's nothing, Sensei, it's just that it's the first time I've been told something like that," laughed Misaki as a way of lightening the mood. "The truth is that I don't consider myself, in particular, an attractive person."
The man leaned back with an amused smile, before leaning over to the cake served on the coffee table and taking a bite of the sweet.
"Perhaps attractive is not the word... you are adorable, Takahashi, your beauty is the kind that gives tenderness."
"Sensei! What are you talking about?!" exclaimed Misaki, who finished the slice of cake in two more bites, with a consistent pout on his lips. "I'm a man! We men don't like to be called 'adorable'! It's embarrassing!"
Misaki's expressiveness made Ijuuin grab him by the chin and, with the strawberry he had stuck in the tines of the fork, pressed the boy's lips the strawberry in a gentle gesture. Misaki, who only felt the sweetness of the fruit, decided to open his mouth and receive the food complacently, with flushed cheeks and all his attention on Ijuuin shrewd gaze.
He swore that at any moment he was going to melt. He was not even able to blink out of fear that as soon as he parted his eyelids, Ijuuin would no longer be there in front of him. The sweetness of the strawberry impregnated all his senses, until he finally swallowed it, still hypnotized.
"I should be going now, Sensei..." Misaki told him in a whisper, which showed the opposite. "You must have work to do and I'm just bothering you with your work."
Ijuuin cocked his head to one side, pushed his fork away and ruffled his hair.
"In fact, your presence has been very refreshing for me," assured Ijuuin, who moved his hand away and watched as Misaki tidied a couple of locks that were left standing up by the contact. "But, if you have something to do later, I won't take up any more of your time."
He lowered his gaze and when he looked up, he smiled at Ijuuin so widely that the man couldn't take his eyes off him.
"Then I will leave you, Sensei," He hastened to add, "It's because I had lunch with my brother and his partner... so I don't want to be late!"
"Anytime you want, you can come to my place with a friend or... if you prefer, alone, Takahashi." Leaning on the arm of the sofa, Ijuuin smiled at Misaki, and followed every move the boy made as he was getting ready to leave. "Just let me know, so I don't have everything messed up again."
Misaki let out a laugh, adjusted the collar of his shirt and clasped his hands together.
"Sure, Sensei, I can't wait!" the boy exclaimed.
"I'll be sure to let you know, and good luck with the manuscript! I'm looking forward to reading it because I know it will be as great as the previous volume."
Once outside, still feeling as if he was flying over the sidewalk, Misaki headed for Akihiko's house, unable to contain the ear-to-ear grin on his face.
He lived alone in a small apartment two blocks from the university, which gave him all the autonomy that a college student should have. Although, on days like those, when he had dinner with his brother, Takahiro and his partner (secret to everyone except Misaki and a few other people), Usami Akihiko, he would sleep over at the latter's house, although it was clear that always, the one who really wanted this, was his brother.
"It's already very late… stay here, Misaki."
"But... it's only a six-block walk to the university," he assured his brother, who pouted his lips, "I really will be fine if I walk at this hour!"
Takahiro shook his head, folded his arms, and grabbed Misaki by the neck of his shirt before he left.
"No! It's too dark outside and someone might want to attack my cute little brother," Takahiro whined, hugging him tightly as he dragged him inside the house again. "Stay in the guest room. You're not a bother are you, Usagi-san?"
The other man, however, didn't look at all convinced of this, as he slammed the book he was holding shut and stood up to climb the stairs.
"Do what you want, I'll continue working."
At the slam of the door in the study, Takahiro closed his eyes for a moment, before continuing with the same affable smile on his face.
"See? Usagi-san doesn't mind."
"Why don't you better drive me home, brother? Please?"
Hearing those words, Takahiro pondered for a second to end up nodding resignedly.
"So much so that you don't like this house? If you want, we can do some renovations in the guest room to make you feel more comfortable, Misaki.
"It's not that! It's just tomorrow... I have an exam, and I wanted to review the material early in the morning... that's why," Misaki lied, as he crossed his bag. "And all the material is in my house."
Takahiro after believing the lie, nodded full of excitement and hugged Misaki again while exclaiming how proud he was for his dedication to his studies. What Misaki was never going to admit, was that he didn't really like to sleep over, because whenever he was at home, he was able to hear the incessant frolicking that his brother and Usagi-san had; so, in the end he wasn't able to sleep a wink all night.
Although Usagi had a red sports car, his brother always used the modest black sedan he had bought with one of his first salaries. Misaki climbed into the passenger seat and hugged the backpack, a bit sleepy from the copious meal Takahiro served that night.
"You look a little happier than usual, Misaki, did anything good happen today?" asked his brother as soon as they stopped at a red light. Misaki blushed immediately and sank back into the seat. "Tell me, you know you can tell me anything you want."
"It's nothing... I just had to run some errands at Ijuuin-Sensei's house today and it was super cool!"
"That's the mangaka you like?"
"Yeah! He's so impressive... His work is the best!"
Takahiro let out a chuckle and continued driving, while listening to all the words Misaki said about the author's work. So much was his abstraction, that even Misaki didn't notice that Takahiro had already parked the car in front of the apartment block a couple of minutes ago.
"It almost seemed like you were in love with the man..."
"It's admiration, bro! I admire him a lot!" said Misaki, who looked to the side and noticed the place. "Well! I'm off!"
Takahiro watched his brother until he entered his apartment and drove back with his head still filled with the excitement of Misaki. Once he was back, he went upstairs to the study where Usami had locked himself in and sat down on the couch behind it, while grabbing the novel he had left half-finished on the couch.
"Hey, Usagi... What do you know about a guy named Ijuuin?"
Usami furrowed his brow, turned around in the chair and stared at Takahiro.
"Misaki keeps talking about that manga author, and since you are in the same publishing house, maybe you know something about him."
That made Usami lowers his guard and then, thoughtfully, he went to sit next to Takahiro.
"I'm in literature, so I have no idea about anyone in manga," he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. "Maybe Isaka-san might know something, but... if your brother has already been accepted to Marukawa, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Usually, manga authors are very... diligent people, so to say."
"Maybe it would do you good to learn something from them so you can make your deadlines more often."
Usami let out a chuckle, tilted his head towards Takahiro and murmured close to his lips:
"I don't like it when Takahiro gets all talkative like that, when I'm just trying to be nice..."
He averted his gaze and got up from the couch, putting the book aside, before pointing at the computer.
"Go on with your work. I'm not bothering you anymore."
Before he could leave, Usami reached out and grabbed Takahiro's wrist, pulling him back, which made the man fall right into his lap.
"Stay a while longer, you're my biggest inspiration just for this scene I'm writing... good thing Misaki went home, so I can try some things, and you can raise your voice as much as you want, Takahiro."
He opened his eyes wide, but once he got over the initial embarrassment, he licked his lips eagerly. He soon forgot about his brother. Usami was right, there was nothing to worry about.
The day had finally arrived. When Ijuuin invited him and Todou to his apartment, the week after his visit to the author's house, Misaki spent the last class excited to the point of bursting.
And he realized that his friend was just like him, as the boy came running to the college exit.
"Misaki, you really got the best job in the world!" Todou assured him, in the subway, as they were heading to Ijuuin's house." Imagine that! If you already have contact with Ijuuin, how many other mangakas you'll be able to meet! "
Misaki let out a giggle and then wiped his hands wet from nervousness on the fabric of his pants. Once they were in front of Ijuuin's door and he opened it for them, all the euphoria reached unusual points, which made both boys enter feeling like they were in paradise.
Ijuuin had kept his word. This time the place was impeccable. All the books were in their respective places and the studio where "The Kan" was working was sparkling clean. During the visit, Ijuuin taught them both great things about the process of creating manga, which made Todou could not hold the urge to squeal and hugged Misaki again and again grateful for the experience.
"I must go now, work!" said Todou, checking the time on his phone, "See you Misaki! And thank you so much for everything, Ijuuin-Sensei! It was amazing! Keep up the good work!"
As soon as Todou disappeared in the distance of the panorama, Misaki stared at the two's feet for a moment with an innocent smile.
"Well I... I think I should go too, Ijuuin-Sensei... Thank you so much for the experience!"
Ijuuin saw Misaki's blushing cheeks as he tilted his head and, before Misaki made a move to leave, grabbed him by the wrist.
"Why don't you stay a while longer? Or... do you have any other obligations?"
"No... not really... but I wouldn't want to interrupt your work, Sensei!"
"I told you once, Takahashi, you're not a nuisance at all," the man assured him, turning around and gesturing for Misaki to follow him inside. "Besides, now that I delivered the manuscript in time, I don't have to worry about work for a few days, so I could use a break, don't you think?"
Whenever he entered that place it was as if he had never seen it before. The drawing tables of Ijuuin and his assistants, full of ink, papers, and materials, looked most inviting to him. Misaki took off his shoes and, while Ijuuin put water on to boil, he wandered back into that room with a pounding heart.
He studied the surfaces, until he came to the largest and most comfortable desk, which belonged to Ijuuin right at the end. On its side was a television and taped to the walls were various models of manga characters, which served as a reference for him. The opalines for drawing on the floor and now, the only thing on the tilted table was a closed notebook right in the middle.
"What are you doing?" Ijuuin asked, startling Misaki, who turned around and bowed apologetically. "I don't mind... tell me what caught your attention."
Ijuuin handed Misaki a cup of tea and Misaki took a sip despite how hot it was.
"It's hot, be careful... don't be so nervous, Takahashi, tell me with confidence."
"I was just wondering what that notebook was."
Ijuuin took one of the attendants' chairs and sat in it, leaving Misaki the chance to use his chair. When the boy refused, not wanting to use "Sensei's throne," Ijuuin just shook his head, took the cup out of his hands, and forced him to sit there, no problem, before handing him back his tea.
"This isn't anything from The Kan, in case you were wondering, although, I do have the occasional sketch," the man told him, flipping through the notebook and showing them two manga characters he had made. "It's a simple sketchbook, which I use sometimes when I don't feel like doing anything manga-related and want to experiment with some things."
Misaki nodded and stretched his neck to see other drawings. Ijuuin's style, to which Misaki was used to, was the cartoonish one he found in the manga volumes: characters with exaggerated features and a charisma that seemed to overflow the pages, however, on more than one occasion, in the manga, especially in the most tense moments of the plot, the drawing adopted an impressive realism that always took his breath away.
Those sketches were made with such an astute way of drawing that Misaki's heart skipped a beat.
"Sensei... before The Kan, did you work on other works?" asked Misaki, taking a sip of tea. "I say that because... you really draw amazingly."
Ijuuin handed the notebook to Misaki to flip through on his own.
"Well, it's normal that you don't know this because I don't think I've ever mentioned it in interviews, but I worked as a manga assistant during my years as an art student. It was mostly small jobs with many authors" Ijuuin told him. "I think I did well, because I learned a lot about the ways of creating manga from other people and then applied it fully to my work."
A quick sketch of five people in the park caught Misaki's attention. He was able to feel the liveliness of the scene and the lighting of the place; how warm the atmosphere was. He turned the page, as he waited for the author to continue speaking to him.
"I always knew how to draw, but with time and practice everything became more refined. I was a typical drawing-room kid," laughed Ijuuin, taking a sip of his drink, "I perfected the basics in college and, here I am, many years later..."
"It's so cool..." sighed Misaki, who couldn't take his sight off the notebook, but when he did, his eyes sparkled. "I could never draw like that, I'm so bad at it."
Ijuuin stopped Misaki's hand, opened a blank page of the notebook and smeared a random drawing nib in ink, which he handed to Misaki.
"Show me."
"What? I really draw awful, Sensei!" said Misaki, grabbing the nib just so he wouldn't stain the table with ink. "Besides, I wouldn't know what to do."
"Draw anything," the man whispered close to his ear. "I want to see your skills."
Misaki obeyed, but because he was so nervous, the lines came out shaky. Ijuuin, noticing this, moved away from the boy to give him his space, to which the line improved a little. Finally, once Misaki was fully immersed in the drawing, he showed it to him. It was a cartoonish kitten smiling in the middle of the sheet, where he had left wide blank margins. Because it was the first time he had drawn in fountain pen, he made smudges with the ink and in some points the line came out more intensely than in others. Misaki's hands were left with several smudges and received a wet towel from Ijuuin to wipe them off.
"It's cute..." said Ijuuin who took the nib and put it aside. "Like the drawing of an elementary school child."
"Sensei! Don't make fun of me!" complained Misaki, who once cleaned up, threw the dirty towel into the trash can and looked at the man with a pout on his lips. "I told you I don't know how to draw!"
Ijuuin ruffled Misaki's hair with one hand and took the pencil again with the other to imitate Misaki's drawing. Unlike the original, Ijuuin's replica had been done in a professional manner, with confident lines that showed the full force of the gesture. He changed the cat's perspective a bit, kept the charisma of the smile, and refined the details of the fur. Misaki could not believe that, from his drawing, Ijuuin had been able to make something he considered a masterpiece.
"It almost looks like the one who tried to imitate the drawing was me," laughed Misaki, who admired the piece without blinking. "It's stunning, Sensei. I love everything you do!"
Ijuuin put the notebook aside, the pen next to the many others he had, closed the bottle of ink, and turned the chair around to look Misaki in the eyes.
"Do you like me that much?"
"Of course! Sensei, you're great!" said Misaki, who finished drinking the last of his tea with a big blush on his cheeks "I really love your work and art, especially the hard work you put into it!"
Ijuuin stood thoughtfully, finished his drink, and stood up, before gesturing for Misaki to follow him. As soon as he did, they crossed the study and in the living room, the latter made him sit on the couch next to him.
"Takahashi, I don't think we are understanding each other very well and the truth is that I always like to be honest with my own feelings," the man explained, "so I think it's pertinent for you to know that I love you."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm in love with you, Takahashi," he repeated without any kind of cover. "You are not obliged to accept my romantic feelings for you, or anything like that, but when I like a person, I try to tell him."
Misaki froze, as if his heart had stopped. He brought his eyes from Ijuuin's hair to the man's hands that had a bit of ink on them from the drawing he had done and imagined, for an instant, how those skilled hands would feel on his face.
"B-but I am a man, Sensei!"
"I know that very well, Takahashi."
Not knowing what to respond to that statement, Misaki felt dizzy. It was the first time he had ever received a declaration of love, and it was from the person he admired most in the world, so he didn't know how to react. Sure, he liked the man, but he would never have imagined a romantic perspective on his own tastes.
However, the way his heart was pounding and the cataclysmic euphoria inside him that screamed at him to throw himself into his arms showed that there was something in him that was melting at that very moment.
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable with this, Takahashi; I'll also understand if you want to go home right now..."
"I... Sensei...uh..."
Ijuuin took Misaki's hands and felt his pulse with his thumb. He held them there for a long minute, until he felt Misaki's heartbeat return to normal.
"Don't push yourself to give me an answer right now, Takahashi, I want you to think about it, okay? That's enough."
Once he released his wrists, the boy lowered his head and nodded.
"Thank you very much."
"No problem..." Ijuuin assured before looking to the side. "It's eight o'clock, do you want to stay for dinner, or would you rather leave?"
Misaki stood up, and after thinking about it nodded.
"I'll leave for now, Sensei, thank you very much for everything. It was... truly kind."
Ijuuin dispatched Misaki at the entrance, and once they were there, Misaki who was still not leaving, looked him in the eyes.
"I'll be sure to think about it, Sensei, really... thank you very much."
Ijuuin kept watching Misaki's silhouette walking down the sidewalk until he gone. Once he was back in his apartment, he stared at the boy's drawing with a smile, before sliding a clean opaline underneath and, with a graphite pencil, began to trace the proportions of a new work. He spent the whole night drawing lines that gradually took shape and, when he opened his eyes due to the natural light that came in through the nooks and crannies of the blinds, he looked at the piece he had made.
It was a boy with brown hair and green eyes, who was surrounded by cats of all shapes. In his expression, the stars of the universe were reflected, as the main cat of the piece dozed in his arms, with an endearing smile.
Once he was lying on his bed, he could breathe again.
The subway ride had been exhausting; trapped between the bodies of the workers who had stayed behind to work overtime, he couldn't wait to get to his little studio and lie down once and for all.
Even so, he continued to be restless. His heart reminded him of Ijuuin's words, and they echoed throughout his body giving him no rest. He got up several times, paced around inside the four walls in which he was confined and opened the refrigerator several times until he took out the leftovers from yesterday's lunch which he ate cold.
His brother's words also settled in his head like heavy stones. Everything revolved around the word love, and he wasn't quite sure how to feel about it. He had always considered his feelings towards the author of his favorite book to be mere admiration, but now he wasn't completely sure.
When he finished eating, he went to the bookshelf next to his desk and pulled out all the manga volumes to start rereading the work from chapter one. He knew that years ago, when he discovered the book, the word "love" would not even have crossed his mind. The only thing he knew about the author of what was, from that moment on, his bible, was that name that he found addictive to repeat. Kyo Ijuuin. He considered it to be that kind of name that was meant to be read. Short, but catchy at the same time.
The pages of his "The Kan" manga were already worn out from the multitude of times he had reread it, always eager for the next volume. He had a lot of magazines stuffed in boxes inside his closet, which he had bought because he was not able to wait for the compilation of those chapters in one volume. Many times, he had only bought the magazine even though he did not know the rest of the titles it included, because he only wanted to know how the story continued.
That had always been the case, and always, before each chapter, he could see the main character and that name: Kyo Ijuuin, at the bottom. As if it had never wanted to be discovered. As if it didn't matter. And back then, it did; Misaki didn't care about this Ijuuin as much as he cared about the piece.
However, since he knew the face, voice, and personality of that person, he wasn't so sure anymore. He still adored The Kan to the point where more than a few people would consider it obsessive, but, at the same time, he was a fan of the quality of human beings behind work. To see that workplace, filled with passion; entire days in which Ijuuin would have dedicated to his work and how all this effort, was worth it solely for the fan letters he held so dear.
"If only I could hear it a thousand more times. If only I could reach to hear the force of that typhoon that shook my insides ..."
When he finished the first volume, he continued with the second and from there was no stopping. He read all night long, until he fell asleep and when he woke up, in the middle of manga, the only thing he looked for on the cover was that name: Kyo Ijuuin, which filled every inch of skin, longing for something more. For the tiniest caress on his skin.
"Like an immense tide rushing against the sand. It would be enough. Just to hear it again it would be enough."
On his birthday, the last thing he expected to receive was a call from Ijuuin. His hands shook, making him almost drop the phone and he fled from the table he shared with his brother and Usami, to answer the call.
It had already been another week since that visit. Between the final corrections of his thesis, Misaki hadn't had time for anything but writing and eating; now, on his birthday, he had finally ended his due, hoping that this time the submitted version would be perfect.
"Takahashi?"
"Ijuuin-Sensei?"
"Hello, Takahashi! I was calling you because I'm at the editorial office and it appears on the calendar that today is your birthday, isn't it?" said the man, to which Misaki affirmed, "Happy birthday! How are you doing?"
Misaki moved further away, to make sure he wasn't heard by either of the two men and, in the hallway outside the entrance, he spoke more calmly.
"Well... my brother bought a cake and now we're talking. I didn't prepare anything elaborate."
"Oh, I understand, you must be very busy with your thesis How's that going?"
"Huh? Well, I already sent the final version, I hope they'll accept it now, but I won't know the answer until Monday," Misaki told him, feeling his heart beating again. "Are you still at Marukawa?"
"Yeah, you know, boring meetings," the man said. "If you don't have plans later, do you want to go out for lunch? I'm buying."
"Huh? No need, Sensei..."
"Come on! You need to celebrate your thesis submission and your birthday. You're already twenty-one, aren't you?"
"I turned twenty-two, Sensei," laughed Misaki.
"And you look fifteen," He replied teasingly. "What do you think? Let's go out, shall we?"
Misaki heard his brother call him from inside, shouted back and then returned to the call.
"Okay, I have nothing to do later," Misaki told him. "Where shall we meet?"
"I'll send you the address, I'll expect you at six."
Once the call ended, Misaki went back inside and sat down at the table, where Takahiro cut another slice of cake for the boy.
"Who was that? a friend?"
Misaki nodded, "He invited me to eat later... so we'll hang out," he explained, before taking a bite of the cake. "It's delicious cake, brother."
Takahiro looked at Misaki, put the knife aside and took his seat again.
"Just take care of yourself..."
"I'm not a kid anymore, brother; I'll be fine," Misaki told him with a smile. "Besides, I'll try not to come home too late."
"Send me a message, okay?"
"You worry too much, Takahiro," Usami mentioned, taking a sip of coffee. "Misaki is an adult now."
Takahiro didn't look very convinced, but he let out a sigh and ended up taking Usami's words into account to stop his head with worries. He didn't want to admit it, but it was taking him more than his share of trouble to come to terms with the fact that his little brother really was entering the adult world without much difficulty.
Undoubtedly the Izakayas were not places Misaki frequented often. Apart from a few visits with Sumi-Senpai and his friends, he tended to avoid them.
Being there reminded him of the times Usami would smoke inside the house with the windows closed, despite Takahiro's complaints, but multiplied by five. The smell of tobacco was strong, to the point that, if you did not want to be impregnated with that aroma, you could only stay at one of the tables closest to the windows.
They went into one with Ijuuin, but he, like Misaki, did not smoke (or at least he had never smoked in front of him), so they changed places until they reached the only bar on the block that had an anti-cigarette policy. Everything was different there and Misaki's appetite was whetted despite having had a big feast earlier in the day.
"Don't restrict yourself, todays on me."
Misaki checked the menu, but after discussing it with Ijuuin, they ordered a seafood platter and a couple of beers. Then, facing each other, Misaki stared at the man who simply smiled at him.
He wanted to talk, but all the topics he could think of were derived from manga and he didn't want to harass the man with the same kind of talk. He folded a napkin as he thought, until Ijuuin started the conversation.
"You still haven't received an answer from Marukawa about the department you'll be assigned to?"
"Huh? No, nothing yet... I'm a bit nervous; I'd love to work in shōnen! But if I'm left in any other, I'll be grateful as well."
Ijuuin tilted his head and rubbed his temple thoughtfully.
"If you want to work in shōnen so badly, I think I could make some moves..."
"No! No need! Really! -Misaki interrupted him. I would feel very bad about using that kind of method to get to that position. I wish to achieve it by my own means!" he put the napkin aside and smiled with complete sincerity "Besides, I want to learn a lot from different parts... just like you did."
"What?"
"You said you worked with many authors and then applied it to your manga," Misaki repeated. "I want to learn a lot of editing in different departments and then apply it to make the best manga... of course, I don't know if it would be better than The Kan, but I could try."
Ijuuin let out a laugh, before bursting into a sea of laughter which made Misaki turn red. The boy lowered his head and was thankful that the waitress had brought them their drinks quickly, because then he could do something with his mouth, instead of pouting.
"I don't think that's how editing works, but you can certainly try," acknowledged Ijuuin, who continued with a silly grin on his face. "You never cease to amaze me, Takahashi, you really do."
"I'm sorry if it seems a little silly."
"Silly? Not at all, it doesn't seem silly to me."
Misaki took a sip of beer and as he put the mug back on the table, he frowned.
"Well, I'm not so sure about that."
"I think it's very nice that you've used my experience to apply it to your field," Ijuuin clarified. "I've never worked in editing, so I don't really understand what it's all about, but I think that, if you keep that motivation, Takahashi, you won't have any problem adapting to the world and going far. "
Misaki blushed from head to toe and averted his eyes as he awkwardly thanked him.
"I was worried for nothing. I thought for a moment that you might get discouraged if you found out that, probably, you'll be assigned to any other department because the shōnen editing department is full."
"What? Really?"
"Yes, I heard that from Kirishima-san at the meeting we had. They're assigning editors to Shōjo, Josei and Historical literature."
Misaki wrapped his hands around the beer mug while wishing he weren't assigned to that last option, as the history subject had never been his favorite. Certainly, his affinity for the other two genres was zero, but he judged that, with intuition alone, he could work well on works that were geared toward a female audience.
"Well, you underestimated me, Sensei! I just want to help create works worth reading!" Misaki said determinedly, "No matter what genre it is!"
Ijuuin rested his head on one hand and took another sip, still admiring Misaki. By the time the food arrived, Misaki had to catch his eye to stop looking at him and eat, because had he continued that way, he would have stayed that way. With the beer on the side, as he was lost in Misaki, analyzing every line of the boy's face move as he spoke.
They stumbled into Misaki's small apartment. The boy, who had ended up drinking more than he should have, hung in Ijuuin's arms with a smile on his face, while muttering how great the man's manga was.
Being there brought back flashbacks of his youth, when he was a carefree college kid, living in the same kind of place, as he savored drops of longed-for independence. Misaki's room, however, was much tidier and cleaner than any good day in the teenage apartment he rented in those days; where chaos reigned as he was surrounded by racks, jars of paint and newspaper with which he covered the floor so as not to stain it by accident.
Everything was so clean that it almost didn't seem that a person lived there. The bed was made up, the dishes were shiny, the shelves were clean, and there were no papers in the wastebasket next to the desk. He set Misaki down on the quilt as he went to pour two glasses of water, keeping an eye on the boy who had just curled up on the bed, before stretching his arms and letting out a long yawn.
"Sensei... Da-chan is not going to die, is he?" Misaki asked him, awkwardly receiving the drinking glass. Seeing how Ijuuin was slow to answer, he wrinkled his nose, "Da-chan can't die! He's my favorite character."
Ijuuin ran his hand through Misaki's hair and shook his head.
"I wasn't planning to do that..."
Misaki gave a huge smile and hugged Ijuuin at his words, though he went on to douse them both with the contents of the water in his glass. He froze at the sudden contact of the boy, who began to giggle against the author's ear, still speaking incoherent words.
When he broke away, he saw Misaki's wet T-shirt and had to bite his lip, while helping to remove it. The boy's slim, pale, and narrow body awakened in him sensations he thought were dormant and he quickly helped him dress in his pajamas, trying to remove any thoughts of himself.
"Sensei... change too, you're going to get sick," said Misaki, who stood up and walked to his closet where she rummaged through his clothes to find a black t-shirt printed with an illustration of the Ijuuin manga in the middle. "I won this one in a raffle! But I got the wrong size."
"You could have returned it..."
"How do you think! I would never return something that has an image made by you on it! It would be sacrilege!"
Ijuuin took the garment and helped Misaki into bed. The boy didn't even struggle and let himself be tucked in like a small child.
"Don't go... Sensei... I had a great time." Ijuuin looked at Misaki for a long moment, before brushing aside a lock of hair that covered the boy's sleepy eyes. "Stay with me."
Ijuuin was going to accept, however, he waited for Misaki to fall asleep before getting up and going to the closet to put away the shirt the boy handed him. In there, he found himself from the number of magazines there and couldn't help but notice the bookmarks that pointed to the part of the story collection, where the chapter of The Kan began. He shook his head in amusement, closed the closet doors and went to the desk where he began to write a quick note to the boy when he woke up.
Before leaving the apartment, he took one last look at the boy from the doorway, just to make sure that the boy continued to sleep, undisturbed.
The next morning, he felt a parched throat and a sharp pain in his head. He rolled out of bed and searched for traces of the previous night, only to find that his mouth reeked of beer. He looked around for Ijuuin somewhere, but realized the man hadn't stayed over, which only made Misaki embarrassed harder than ever.
He pulled out his cell phone and when he wanted to text the author, he stopped in front of the note the author had left him on the desk.
"Thank you so much for the evening. I want to do it again. Get as much rest as you can. We'll be in touch."
They were four simple and concise sentences, but they made Misaki's heart flutter. He quickly picked up the piece of paper and compared the handwriting to the signature Ijuuin had made for him in his edition of the manga he treasured. The only difference was that, although in the signature it was obvious that he had done it in a hurry, in this note, the case was different: each stroke was done delicately, taking the time to write them.
He let out a sigh and dialed the man's phone, but when he saw that he did not take the call, he hung up. He would call him back later.
He would be lying if he said he wasn't worried. Three days had passed since the last time he had seen Ijuuin, and he had no sign of the man. He wasn't taking his calls, nor was he answering messages. It was such a void of information, Misaki began to fear that the man had decided to cut ties after the drunkenness of the other day.
But if that was so, why that note? He carried it with him every day. Tucked in his wallet, and every now and then when he took out a bill, he would look at the man's words to bring it all to the surface again. The laughter, the atmosphere and how comfortable he felt.
Once he arrived at Marukawa Shōten, to do his part-time worker duties and went upstairs to greet the rest of the editors in the shōnen department, Misaki realized that he had arrived at the worst time of all. Kirishima, sitting two sets of tables away, had deep dark circles under his eyes as he argued with a tall man, who looked as fierce as a bear, who kept berating him something in a loud voice that he couldn't quite hear.
"Takahashi-Kun, over here!" said Yuchi, the editor in charge of supervising his duties as a part-time worker.
At the mention of his last name, he heard Kirishima immediately stand up, to which Misaki broke out in a cold sweat.
"What's wrong? Why is everyone like this?!"
"You! You're Takahashi-kun right?" pointed out Kirishima, to which Misaki nodded, "You came at the best time!"
The man Kirishima had been arguing with immediately came to interrupt the conversation.
"Don't ignore me, Kirishima! Where's that mangaka's monthly proposal? "
The man rolled his eyes and then grabbed Misaki by the shoulders.
"Can you be quiet for a moment, Yokozawa! Here it is..." Kirishima replied, pointing at Misaki who continued to not understand. "Ijuuin-Sensei is not answering our calls. We don't know what happened. I need you to go check his condition right now."
"What?— But...? I don't have the key to Sensei's apartment."
"It doesn't matter!" Kirishima exclaimed. "Shizuku tried to go, but Ijuuin didn't open the door for him, and neither for me; however, I think it will be different with you."
"You call yourself an editor when you can't even keep an eye on your author," snorted the man named Yokozawa, as he folded his arms. Misaki took an immediate dislike to the man, who was watching Misaki from above with a stoic expression. "We want the proposal by this afternoon, and if we don't get anything, we'll have to put another author in the magazine instead."
Kirishima frowned at Yokozawa and then squeezed Misaki's shoulders.
"All right... I'll go, but I can't assure you that he'll open the door for me."
"Thank you very much, Takahashi. You're amazing!" Kirishima exclaimed, messing up his hair as if he were a small child "When you're done, tell Ijuuin to fax me from his office; but if he doesn't open up... I'll have to break down that damn door."
Misaki swallowed dryly and nodded before tightening the handles of his bag and running in Ijuuin's direction. It was the longest subway ride he ever felt in his life, but as he reached the apartment block and put in the code he remembered, he climbed up to Ijuuin's floor with a clenched heart.
There, outside, he knocked on the door, but seeing that they didn't open, he used his voice as he pressed the doorbell microphone.
"Sensei... this is Misaki... are you here?" he spoke with visible nervousness in his voice "Are you all right?"
A couple of moments passed, but just when Misaki thought no one would open, the doorknob turned feebly and he saw the man behind, looking haggard, barely holding on to his legs. Misaki ran to catch him before he passed out and pushed his hair away from his face just to gauge the man's fever.
"Sensei, it can't be!" Misaki exclaimed, turning on the light and continuing with Ijuuin's body resting on top of him. "Come on! Wake up!"
"Ta...ka...hashi," groaned the man weakly, to which Misaki, with all his might, managed to drag Ijuuin's body into his living room and checked the papers on top of the man's workstation. "In ...fir...ts"
"The top drawer?"
Seeing him utter an affirmative, Misaki opened it and pulled out the papers on top of it, once he placed them in the fax machine, he hurried to write a note to the rest of the team.
"Sensei is very sick. I will take care of him for now. I am sending you the proposal he drew."
Once he pressed the send button, he immediately turned to Ijuuin and helped him to his feet, to carry him up to his room where he laid him on the bed. He went through the man's house until finding a first aid kit, where he found a thermometer and measured Ijuuin's fever. When the number came up, he clicked his tongue, wet a cold towel, and placed it on the man's forehead.
"I'm sorry..." the man whispered as he saw Misaki sitting next to him. "I showed you my pathetic side again."
Misaki shook the head, settled the man better so he wouldn't strain himself too much and gave him a couple of flu pills he found inside the first aid bag.
"Just rest, Sensei... I'll take care of everything."
Ijuuin wanted to say something, but Misaki stood up and left the room before giving him a chance to reply. He closed his eyes and laid the head back on the pillows as he tried to sink into a restful sleep.
What finally woke him up was the delicious smell of seeping through the small spaces of his bedroom door. His body felt sore, as if he had been running a marathon, and his head was heavier than usual; even so, he mustered the strength to stand up and go to the source of the smell by leaning against the wall.
He saw Misaki in front of a cutting board, with a smile on the lips, as he finished chopping some food, which he added to the pot on top of the fire. Something about the boy's homely appearance softened his heart and made him move even closer to the kitchen countertops.
"What are you cooking?"
The question took Misaki by surprise, who lowered the fire handle and approached Ijuuin with worried eyes, before helping him to take a seat at the dining table.
"Sensei... you should go back to the dormitory, it's not good for you to be wandering around being this sick."
Ijuuin smiled and followed Misaki's footsteps around the place. As he took an apple which he washed before peeling the skin with a knife. He proved to be skilled enough to do it without stopping and then left the perfectly chopped pieces on a plate which he handed to Ijuuin.
"I'm not that weak," the man acknowledged, biting into a piece of fruit. "You sure are handy in the kitchen, Takahashi."
"Ever since I was little, I had to help my brother with the household things," he told him calmly, before stirring the rice he had prepared with a spatula. "To be honest, everything I know about cooking I learned from recipe magazines and, obviously The Kan... taught me, for example, how to make the consistency of the rice perfect!"
He showed him the bowl of rice he had filled only to admire how the grains looked like little snowflakes. Misaki began to serve the food, but before he finished, Ijuuin took him by the hand.
"Eat with me..."
"Are you sure...? I would not like to..."
"Please come with me."
Misaki nodded, put on a pair of chopsticks, and poured a portion for himself as well, before turning off the fire. Facing Ijuuin, he clasped his hands together and smiled. The food practically melted in his mouth, not remembering the last time he had eaten something homemade that tasted so delicious.
"I was sent from Kirishima-san to see how he was doing and have you sent the proposal; that's when I found you so sick."
"It was probably because after our outing I didn't change my clothes and fell asleep with them still wet. I had arrived dead tired and just lay down to sleep."
Misaki used the soy sauce to dip the small piece of seafood he had cooked and then put it in his mouth, with a sorry look on the face.
"It was my fault... I'm really sorry, Sensei."
"It's not like that, Takahashi! Don't worry about it."
"But..."
Ijuuin took him by the hand to which Misaki blushed, averting his gaze to continue eating, without pulling away from the man's grip.
"This is really good, Misaki, I love it," the man acknowledged. "It reminds me of those cookies you made for me."
"Todou helped me make some dough. It's not complicated to make."
"Well, you're going to have to teach me, because every time I've tried to make them, they always turn out dry."
"Yes!" exclaimed Misaki, before looking at the hand that Ijuuin had kept on top of his. "Sensei... your hand..."
"Does it bother you?"
The question cut through the air. Misaki, not knowing what to answer, chewed some rice before shaking his head in embarrassment.
"Takahashi, it makes me the happiest man that you came to my house."
"I was worried when you didn't answer my messages... I thought you were mad at me."
Ijuuin furrowed his brow, shook his head, and put the chopsticks aside.
"Angry with you? Why?"
"Well... because the other day I was a burden. I drank too much and had to carry me home on my back... I'm so ashamed! I'm so sorry!"
It was that attitude that couldn't stop his heart from picking up speed and it only got stronger with every second he saw Misaki's flushed expression on his face. He couldn't contain that feeling that he was going to explode in himself, so he had to cover his mouth visibly touched, before getting up from the table and pulling up a chair next to Misaki.
At no time did they let go of each other's hand. Ijuuin took Misaki by the chin and stared at him for a moment, while he let the boy decide what to do next.
"Sensei..."
"I love you, Takahashi."
Misaki, not knowing what to do with his free hand, brought it to Ijuuin's shoulder and there he dug his fingers into the cloth. Instinctively he licked his lips and closed the eyes before he brought his lips together with Misaki's lips.
He traced Misaki's back, until he left his hand resting behind the nape of the boy's neck, to better accommodate the positions of the kiss. It was noticeable that Misaki had little or zero experience in the field, because he was having a hard time keeping up with Ijuuin, however, soon Ijuuin let the author be the one to dominate the act and let him take him where he wanted to go.
As they parted, Misaki's gaze was lost. He let go of Ijuuin's hand and rested it on his knee.
"Call me Misaki, Sensei. Everyone calls me that."
"Only if you just call me Ijuuin. No formalities."
Misaki bit his lip and nodded.
"Call me Misaki, Ijuuin."
"Like a thousand nibs that didn't fit..."
"Misaki, I love you."
The strength of Misaki's embrace was enough to caress his head. It was as if his fingers had been made for that. Holding the pencil and untangling strands of hair. When they parted again, Ijuuin brought his forehead together with the boy's, unable to stop watching those greenish eyes, in which little stars were drawn. Everything made sense the moment Misaki let out a subtle embarrassed laugh and gave way to kiss him again. Only the two of them were left immersed in that room filled with a scent that was familiar to them.
"Until finally hitting the right one."
A gentle rain began outside the window. It pounded on the windows and the two didn't care about anything. It was still summer; the festivals were not yet dismantled and nothing mattered. Only the warmth of two bodies embracing, not wanting to separate in case the spell could be broken.
"I wanted to say so many things, but words were not enough to describe that piece of heaven that poured into my mouth. Addictive and so sweet."
But they both knew that wasn't how it was going to work. That, the next morning, waking up next to each other, a current of bliss would deepen for posterity those apartment walls that for years were filled with passing visitors.
"It must be fate, I thought, the closer I am to it, the more I can reach what I one day drew so eagerly for it to become reality."
THE END