A Not So Grand Return Chapter 5: Proving Feelings With A Visit, a law and order: svu fanfic

I know it's been a long while since I have updated this one. Which is why I keep my stories open cause I never know when ideas will hit. Hope you like this one. I think I may have another chapter or two to this particular story

Amanda had settled down once Olivia had left. It was really over. Maybe it was for the best. She was really hurt but there was no more she could do. She refused to be in a relationship behind closed doors. She laid on the couch just watching a game. It was baseball season so that's what was on.

Olivia on the other side of town was trying to figure out what the hell happened. She had gone over to talk to Amanda after she dealt with her vic. She couldn't tell her who it was as for confidential, she thought they were going to talk and maybe cuddle afterward like they usually did. Now here she was home, alone and single. She didn't really want to be single, but she also didn't know how to fix this.

Amanda gave up on sleep. She tossed and turned all night even rolling off the couch. Frannie coming over and making sure she was okay. She kissed her dogs nose, turning the tv off and going off to her bedroom. This was the shittiest night of her life, just as bad as when she was raped by Patton. She swiped at the tears coming down from her eyes as she laid down to sleep. Frannie by her side.

Olivia had fallen asleep on the couch. Her head swimming. She missed being with Amanda. Since they had spent most of their nights together, to her it was odd to sleep apart. But this was how things were now. She didnt know if and or when this would be fixed. She decided to try and test the waters by texting Amanda.

"I miss you"

The chime of the incoming text message had woken Amanda up. Of course even on her day off she couldn't sleep in, but then again she hadn't slept that night either. Groaning as she picked up her phone looked and it was a message from Olivia. Not what she wanted to deal with. But she had to reply.

"If you say so."

Thankfully today was a day off for her, she didn't have to go in to work. She planned on taking Frannie to the park and just relax. There was soo much on her mind and her heart hurt. Thankful she didn't have to keep Frannie on her leash, cause her pup knew not to go too far. Tears came down her eyes as the only thoughts in her mind were of the woman she loved. Why did she constantly have to lose, what did she do that was so wrong that she always lost. She sent a cryptic text to Olivia.

"You know what? I'm tired of this. Tired of the hurt. Go be with your precious Elliot. I'm waving the white flag. I give, I surrender. I can't do this anymore. If all I am is forever single, then so be it."

Amanda hit send. Then laid back and soaked up the sun. It somewhat relaxed her and Frannie was chill.

Olivia was at work where her thoughts were interrupted by the pinging of her phone. She looked over at it and seen the text from Amanda. The text read,

Olivia was upset. Here was her now ex-girlfriend whom she didn't want to be her ex. She wanted them together, she just didn't want to be outted to everyone.

"I don't want him. But you can't seem to get that through your head. I want to continue my relationship with you. It's just complicated."

Amanda got the text as she was now throwing a frisbee to Frannie. She was getting annoyed. The word complicated aggravated her, like what the hell. She wanted to rip into her but at the same time she couldnt because this woman was and is her boss.

"Complicated... sounds like a cheap ass cop out. If it is so complicated, how the hell is it that you want to continue your relationship with me? Olivia you aren't making any sense. I'm a grown ass woman. I do not want to be a secret. That's disrespectful to me. I may not be worth much but damn I'm worth more than a fucking secret. I'm going to ask you to please, please leave me alone. I'm hurting enough."

After that she hoped Olivia respected her wishes and left her alone. Fin had text her to see how she was doing. She told him not so good but was trying to work on it. He told her that things would work out how they needed to, she just needed to be patient and give them time. She told him she would try and she would see him on her next shift.

Olivia did reach out later on that evening, Amanda however didn't answer. She was emotionally drained. She grabbed a beer from her fridge, popping the top off and plopped on her couch. Frannie was content and worn out from a day at the park. It had been a few hours since Amanda had heard from Liv and she was relieved that Liv actually listened and left her alone.

It had been a few hours and the next thing she knew there was a knock at her door. She got up and shook her head. Frannie giving her typical 'woof' at the door. When she got to the door she and looked through the peep hole, and now she saw why Olivia had stopped texting. She was at her damn door.

She sighed and opened her door. Her eyes were still red and raw from the tears she had cried. "What brings you by Olivia? It's obvious I don't mean shit to you. Well definitly not close to what you mean to me."

Olivia noticed Amanda's eyes, she didn't like seeing her hurt or stressed like this. Too much had really taken off and it was one after another ever since Amanda suggested they come out. "Amanda, I couldn't go to bed another night with how our conversations have been going and weighing on my my mind. I had to see you and talk to you in person. Amanda I don't want to lose you either. Before all of this drama, this has been the healthiest relationship I have been in. I don't want to lose that, I sure as hell don't want to lose us."

Amanda looked at Liv, this all felt very heartfelt but why now. She didn't even think that Olivia still felt like this for her.

Olivia broke her train of thought. "Can we just sit down and have something to drink, it can be alcohol or coffee. It doesn't matter to me. I just want to talk and see how we can fix this Amanda. I'm serious I can't take another night of this being unsettled between us."

Amanda looked at Liv, "We can do that. As long as you don't lead me on and just say shit to get it settled and then next thing I know you back pedal. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster since all of this, I can't handle much more."

Amanda grabbed a couple beers for them and went to sit on the couch. She curled up in the corner of the couch. Olivia gave her some space but sat on the couch as well.

"Olivia I want to trust you. I want the relationship with you again. I do miss you. But damn I am scared shitless to lay my heart out there again. Olivia you shunned me when I wanted to come forward with our relationship. Then you believed me about being assaulted but when I said who it was, you balked cause it was your precious Stabler. What the hell do you think that did to me? I was second guessed cause you didn't want to think he could do that. Then after all of that you still fucking avoided me. So forgive me if I am leary as to what your intentions are Liv."

Olivia looked at Amanda as she took a sip of her beer. Staying silent, not to avoid Amanda but to let what Amanda said sink in. Amanda let out a lot. She wanted what she said next to work on bringing them back together from this whole mess that she admitted to herself she caused.

"Look Amanda, I'm not perfect. I've never claimed that. I do make mistakes, and I will continue to make mistakes as life goes on. That I'm sure of. I admit I caused of all this with not wanting to come forward with us being together and that put major strain on us and even split us. Something I did not want. I did not want to lose what we shared and what we had. Amanda the relationship I have with you, is not something I'm used to. We support each other, we respect each other. That is not something I've had before, it is something I treasure."

Just as Olivia was about to say more, there was a knock on the door. Amanda and Liv scowled at each other. Amanda spoke "Who in the hell dares knock on my door at this hour?" Olivia got up to get the door. A bit annoyed as she was here trying to talk things over with Amanda and work things out with them and someone decides now to come visit and disturb them. When she opened the door both she and the unwanted guest were surprised to find each other.

Olivia looked at him, "What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you find me?" She stood there with her arms folded, not letting him inside Amanda's place.

He looked at her with a smirk, "Well for one Liv, for someone who doesn't want to be found you were sure easy to track with your phone. Now I want to set shit straight with Amanda if you don't mind. My reputation isn't the greatest and it's cause of her and I think her name is Kat, Kat's claims of assault against me. So move so I can talk to her."

Olivia's eyes narrowed at him, "No way in hell. Nope. Not happening. You've done enough to her."

Oh Elliot didnt like that, he shoved Olivia back against the door causing her to hit hard and hiss with pain. Amanda flew up off that couch. Storming over to the door she screams out

"Who the hell do you think you are putting your hands on my girlfriend?" Then she saw who it was and it lit her up. As she helped Olivia gain her balance back "How the fuck did you find out where I live cause I sure as hell never gave you my address. I don't think Liv here no matter how upset she was would give it to you either."

Olivia stood up next to Amanda. She knew right now to have any hope in saving what they had she needed to let Amanda confront Elliot. She also needed to be proud in the fact Amanda regarded her as her girlfriend. Elliot however had no plans on backing down.

"Oh, so you're in the habit of bangin' captains I see. So now I understand the whole 'Easy Ass Amanda' Yeah I heard the stories through the grapevine especially this one. First you banged Patton to get that sister of yours out of trouble, but you regretted having the the reputation so you cried rape. Now you moved on to your female captain Liv.. Wow Liv I'm shocked never woulda thought you'd be a carpet muncher. But Amanda what will you call this one, a 'bitch slip and dip?"

Amanda balled up her fists, she was highly pissed off. Olivia this time wanted to protect Amanda though she knew Amanda didn't need protection and could fight for herself, but it was a visceral need to do it. Olivia stood infront of Amanda glaring at Elliot. Her tone low and almost a growl.

"How fucking dare you. How fucking dare you come to my girlfriend's apartment and disrespect her in her own home. Not to mention disrespect me. You know what, Elliot Stabler, you are not the man you once were. Not at all. You want to know who was there even after I treated her like shit in the beginning cause I was mourning the loss of my partner of twelve years. It was this woman right here, Amanda Rollins. She has been by my side through good and bad and even when we were not getting along, but we work things out."

Elliot laughed, looking at the two of them.

"Olivia look at you balling up your fists as well. Like you're going to do anything. You always wimp out and walk away. Now all the sudden you wanna show your big balls and protect."

She felt her eyes blaze with anger. She slapped him in the face hard, leaving a welt, and then shoved him backwards.

He just looked at her, his hand feeling where hers had left the sting of a slap. He couldn't believe that she hit him. She had never hit him before.

She looked at him, instigating him into a comment. "Sometimes it's best to be underestimated I've learned. Cause when they underestimate you, you get the right hook." She then did just that caught his chin in a right hook punch.

He rubbed his jaw looking at her, having a hard time believing that the Olivia that he knew turned this violent. She used to back him up with everything. There was nothing she wouldn't do for him, but now here she was coming after him. He also looked at her, with a wounded puppy dog type of look, his confusion was evident.

Amanda got sick and tired of this man starting bullshit at her door. She moved past Olivia, looked him in the eye and shoved him hard. "Get the fuck away from my door you sanctimonious prick." She saw that he was still standing there not moving. So she moved and kicked him in his balls. Seeing him grab his balls and squeal out in pain she laughed. "Oh yeah, some 'MAN' you are. You're a pathetic loser." She closed the door. Leaning against it after she locked it she looked softly at Liv. She put her arms out to pull Olivia in a hug. Olivia gladly accepted. Olivia held her tight. Both of them overcome with emotion. Between the talk tonight and hashing things out, and Elliot stopping by it was alot, alot of real, raw emotion. Amanda didnt know which of them started to cry first but neither of them had dry eyes. They just stood there embracing each other in a tight hug. After about what seemed like hours in reality was just a few minutes they let go.

Olivia looking at Amanda "Well it has gotten late, and I don't know about you but I am exhausted. So I think I'll head home. Thank you for hearing me out, I meant everything I said." Olivia hugged her once more before grabbing her things from the kitchen table chair and heading back to the door. Amanda moved to take Liv's hand. Her voice soft, full of emotion. "Um... would you like to stay over? Alot happened tonight and to be honest I really don't wanna be alone. You did call me your girlfriend again, maybe we could snuggle on the couch til we crash?"

Olivia squeezed Amanda's hand.

Do you think Olivia stays? Do you think Olivia leaves? Does she get scared again? What about Elliot? What do you think is going to happen? What would you like to see?