Title: Queen's Cafe

Summary: Why settle for Cafe Princess?

Leon's POV

"Since I married into the Holfort royal family from abroad, I never had the opportunity to attend this academy. I hope to make some memories of my own. Would you help me, Leon? I've always been curious about this place. All the women I know always speak so fondly of it. I admit, I've been envious."

This thirty-year-old married woman with a mischievous grin wanted me to help her make memories at the academy?

Yeah right. With the exception of Livia and Angie, all women were parasites. The Queen had just finished scolding me and now wanted to utilize my service? She was taking advantage of the situation.

Two could play at that game.

"Of course, Your Majesty. But, seeing as how I am limited by my obligations as the proprietor of this cafe, I'm afraid the only memories we shall be able to make will have to be limited to it."

The Queen took on anoyher mischievous look. "Of course. I wouldn't wish to impose." No doubt, she thought I would be servicing her.

I smiled as I pulled out a measuring tape. "Your wish is my command. Now... strip," I said while straightening the measuring tape with a resounding snap.

"... Eh?!" the Queen yelped with a vibrant blush.

"Leon?!" Master and Livia yelped in absolute confusion.

"You idiot! Have you forgotten that she's the Queen?! What are you thinking?!" Angie yelled angrily.

"I'm doing exactly as I was asked. Her Majesty asked me to help her make memories at the academy because she had never been a student here. As such, she'll be experiencing life as a student here. I'll have her serving as a maid here, but I need her measurements for her uniform."

"... Oh! That's what you meant. I should have known when you pulled out the measuring tape," the Queen said with a vibrant blush and... a somewhat disappointed tone?

Before I could read more into it, Angie snatched the tape from me.

"I'll take her measurements, Leon. I know you have a twisted sense of humor, but there's a time and place for it," Angie groused as she pointed me to leave.

Taking the dismissal for what it was, I left. Right outside my door, Julius stood with an outstretched hand.

"What do you want?" I asked in annoyance.

Julius gave a haughty sniff.

"I'm on break and was going to spend some Dia here, but if that's your attitude, I'll take my patronage elsewhere."

I rolled my eyes. "We had to close early today. Brad's ex-fiancée decided to drop by and make a mess of things."

"Stephanie? But why would she harass you? I would have expected her to make trouble at our cafe."

"She bet on you guys."

"That's rather petty."

"... So is opening a cafe right next to ours."

"I beg your pardon! It was simple coincidence!"

"Yeah, yeah. Just realize we're leveling the playing field tomorrow."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I looked at our cafe sign. "What do you think of Queen's Cafe?"

Julius gave me an unimpressed look and said, "Derivative."

"Perfect."

"Most people would take it as criticism."

"Yeah, well it's your opinion."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Welcome to the Queen's Cafe. If you'll follow me, I'll have you seated right away," Mylene said courteously as she guided a couple of boys to another table.

We had a full house. Actually, we had a line extending out of the building. When word got out that an exotic and majestic beauty was working at our cafe, boys came flocking. Everyone just had to see the unknown beauty at my cafe.

They also had to take their shot and confess to her, not knowing she was old enough to be their mother... or that the could be executed for trying to seduce their queen. It was hilarious how shy and panicked Mylene got whenever another young fool proposed to her.

I couldn't even make fun of the guys. I was a refined man. A mature beauty was a far better catch than the feral teens we were stuck with.

... Damn, now I wanted to confess my love for her. I probably had a better shot than the rest of these mooks with how much she was letting me get away with stuff. I had told her to strip naked for me, and she hadn't even said no. She had even looked reluctant to not having to do so.

Shut up libido. Focus on the now.

Looking at her face, I could see how happy she was despite the embarrassment. It was oddly heartwarming.

Maybe I had a more than fair shot.

Approaching Mylene, I said, "Mylene, you've been working hard all day. Why don't you take a break? Would you like to explore some of the stalls? Livia is due to return soon for her rotation."

"Ah, Leon. That would be lovely. I am rather intrigued by some of the stalls available, but I'm not familiar with the grounds."

"Then allow me to escort you, My Lady," I said cheesily. Mylene gave me an approving look.

"Eh, but we waited for hours for our Queen!" some of the boys cried out in unison.

Mylene froze, but I gave her a wink. She relaxed slightly.

"While I understand the desire to monopolize our dear Mylene, we have more maids tending to our customers," I said while gesturing to Angie.

Evey boy went silent as they wilted under Angie's sharp look. She had not been nearly as entertained by the boys' proposals.

Julius POV

I walked into the cafe. While some of the boys complained, I told them I was not a customer. I was trying to figure out what Bartfort had done for such a turnaround.

Marie had noted that Bartfort must have done some foul play for such a complete shift in dynamic. I shuddered to think what depravity he could have unleashed. Taking note of the customer demographic, I could only assume he brought prostitutes.

Looking around, I did not see Bartfort. Angelica was tending to the boys, and I was not going to touch that exploding powder keg after recent events.

Looing longer, I soon found both of Bartfort's lackeys.

"Where is he?" I asked impatiently.

The one with glasses lookd at me, pulled out an envelope, and handed it to me.

Was Bartfort avoiding me? Odd, I would have figured he would have been here to gloat about his upswing in fortune.

Looking at the letter, it was addressed to me. In cursive, it read, "To The Royal Brat." I scoffed as I opened it.

My eyes bugged out as an image of my mother in a maid's outfit was laid bare to my eyes. A small scrap of paper was clipped to a corner of the image.

"I'm with your Mum."

"Bartfort!" I yelled angrily as I sprinted out the door to find the bastard that needed a castration.

AN

1) Random crack idea. Literally came out of nowhere. I just had to get this out despite it being incredibly short.

2) If Stephanie and Leon's friends couldn't recognize the Queen, I doubt the majority of the boys would.

3) Considering how no one recognized the Queen, I guess Leon must retract his earlier thoughts that Olivia couldn't possibly be ignorant of the prince's identity.

4) Note how Julius immediately jumps to the conclusion that Leon opened a hostess club.

Review Responses

Rubicon373: I did say that the last chapter consisted of abandoned plots. I literally lost all motivation for them, but I had enough written that I said why not post. It's not like every/any of the chapters are actually supposed to be good. I'm posting these so someone may get a creative spark, even if that spark is "I can do better."

As for requests, I don't really do them. I know it seemed like Ano-anoseka was one, but it really was a coincidence.

Lasse2731: I'll take not bad since I literally thought the last chapter consisted of my abandoned ideas. Basically, almost my bottom of the barrel stuff.