A/N

OK, originally Tobias' last POV was the first thing I wrote of this story, out of there, the rest I've had to accommodate it to my first idea.

Enjoy :)

My heart beats so fast that the sound of its beating is all my ears hear. Susan squeezes my left hand which seems to have a mind of its own, refuses to leave my lap and just can't stop sweating. I turn to look at my father and all I see in his face is dread. Marcus behind him has an evil smirk that only lasts a second, his eyes seem darker, suddenly my body and mind sync up and I feel only panic. Eric's voice repeats over and over in my head as I watch the members of the other factions walk out of the room "we accept the verdict of the council, we allow one person from Abnegation to oversee our initiation but the only way to do so will be for this person to participate in the initiation from start to finish as if they were just another initiate. We leave it up to you to choose the supervisor" it is not so much what he said but how he said it, there is a death sentence behind his words.

My proposal was admitted, I just condemned someone in my faction to a danger I can't even begin to understand.

"Who's going to go through this?" Joshua asks as the room empties and only us Abnegation members are left inside, all too shocked to get down to cleaning and tidying up like we normally would. I turn to look at him and assess him: he's a man in his 50's, he's in charge of Chicago's finances, he spends so much time sitting that only those of us who know him well, know that when he walks he limps on his right leg. He's not an old man but he doesn't have the physical capacity to face 12 weeks of military training, which is what the rest of the city assumes happens inside the Dauntless compound during his initiation.

Marcus stands up, excuses himself and exits the room leaving the rest of us sharing the loudest silence I have ever encountered. We all exude fear through our eyes. I don't know if it's seconds or hours later when Marcus returns, his eyes locked on mine and for the first time I see the man all the Erudite newsletters are talking about. I have never allowed myself to be intimidated by him, never until this moment. I avert my gaze back to my father who is consumed in thought. Which of us is going to suffer for my stubbornness?

"The other leaders request that before the choosing ceremony begins tomorrow, we have the name of the supervisor" Marcus breaks the silence, will anyone else here notice the threat mixed with triumph surrounding his comment or just me? "It has to be someone young" says Michael "There's no way I can get through that, climbing the stairs to this room is harder and harder for me every day" it's obvious, Michael is over 60 years old. "Someone young? none of us fall into that category anymore" says Lou, the woman in charge of initiations in our faction. "One of our ambassadors then?" her voice barely a whisper. Susan's hand tightens even harder on mine, I look at her and I'm left in no doubt that sending her is throwing her to certain death, shit, she wouldn't even make it to the compound before she died of a heart attack.

"No, no way" my father stands up from his seat and turns to look at me, there is both determination and fear in his gaze "They're just kids, we can't risk them like this" my stomach leaps and I'm surprised I still have room in my body to feel angry at his comment, we are no kids, we are 18 and fully capable of doing this, well, Susan's fingernails digging into my palm tell me I am capable of doing this. do I want them to pick me? Fucking hell, I don't know.

"I'll do it" my father's voice is final, I look at him and see that right now he is not only a member of the government, he is a father concerned for his daughter's safety, he is a father who has lost his son two years ago and can't afford to lose anyone else. All these weeks he has dismissed everything I "ve said about the dangers Chicago is in, he has refused to listen to what I had to tell them about the deaths and the exiles from Dauntlees but here he is, willing to sacrifice himself because he knows, he knows I have never lied and that I have been right all along, something is going on in that faction and now he doesn't want to think about the possibility that I might be the one who has to go through that.

"No, Andrew, it's 12 weeks. You're my second in command, that's a long time to be absent. It has to be one of them" Marcus says bluntly, leaving no room for objections. "Marcus" my father snaps back in surprise. "They can do it, they are young. You, me and the rest of us are not my dear friend" someone else has to hear the fakeness in his voice, I can't be the only one. I start to tremble from my toes to my head at the possibility that Marcus has known all this time the outcome we now find ourselves in, the thought of him knowing this conclusion gives me chills because that would imply that he knows everything I have not been able to find out. But what are his intentions and what does he gain from this?

"I don't care, I'll go" my father starts to put his things away and then I see it, behind the concern for his daughter and Susan there is also fear for what is coming for him. All my life I've heard him talk about the foolishness of the dauntless, about how every thing they do is reckless and risky. He is about to face his fears so he can rid me of any danger. I can't do this to him, I can't sacrifice him. He doesn't know it but I have all my faith that whatever danger the next 12 weeks will bring I can face it, I am capable of doing it. Not only was I convinced to choose Dauntless as my faction two years ago, I have an aptitude for it.

"No!" I speak for the first time and it feels like weeks have passed since I last said anything "Marcus is right, I'll do it. Besides, this was all my idea" my father looks at me with pleading eyes, I'm afraid he will try to lock me in and not let me out until tomorrow night when it will already be too late. I see from the corner of my eye Marcus smile for a second. "Susan can take over the supervision of Abnegation during the initiation and continue with our work. I can report to her to let you know about my progress, the rest we can work it out".

"Agreed" the rest of the members start to say, my father looks at everyone with wide eyes as if each of the council members are betraying him. "Beatrice, but your training..." he starts to tell me but is interrupted by Marcus "So far we have had no setbacks with the training, and Beatrice has worked hard on every aspect we have presented to her. I even understand that in her personal life she has also made an effort" with this Marcus makes a smile more akin to a grimace. "I'm sure the young boy Black can handle a few weeks without Beatrice, he may even see her on visiting day." My father looks defeated, no matter how brave he is, no matter how much he wants to keep me safe he can't afford to defy his leader.

"Right, everything will be fine" I try to give him a smile to convince him but my heart is in my throat. Susan gives my shoulder a squeeze, the only act allowed in Abnegation to comfort someone. Now more than ever I wish hugs were allowed, I need one.

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"Oh Beatrice, my baby girl" my mother hugs me tightly. I try not to let the emotion I feel bring tears to my eyes. It's two hours to the choosing ceremony. Three hours until I leave on a train to Dauntless compound. I have too many mixed emotions, I couldn't sleep last night thinking. Part of me is worried about the unknown, about the danger I know exists out there. That part of me wants to stay here in my parents' house, wants to be the little girl again that her mother hugged and kissed behind closed doors. The other part of me is excited, for the first time I'm going to experience the what if things had been different. It's on borrowed time but my heart is pounding for the gift.

"I don't approve of this, I don't like it" my father says from the couch. His face is unhinged, he looks like he's aged years since yesterday. "It's going to be okay dad, I'm going to go, I'm going to check into what's going on and I'll be back in 12 weeks so I can correct whatever needs to be changed. This is what I've been working so hard for the last few months. It's the right thing to do" my father gets up and hugs me for the first time in years, just like he did when Caleb and I were kids inside the safety of this house. The sound of someone knocking on the door causes us to break apart. My father opens the door "Robert, good morning."

"Mr. Prior, good morning, is Beatrice here? I would like to speak with her for a moment if I may." My father opens the door fully allowing Robert to enter. My mother greets him "Why don't you take a little walk, there is still time before we have to leave." She says inviting me out of the house with Robert.

We walk slowly, apart as custom dictates. When we reach the end of the street Robert takes me by the arm and leads me to the tree-lined area behind our compound. Robert has never touched me outside of the occasional brush of hands when we do some manual work together, his hand on my elbow feels forbidden, but not because of what Abnegation says, it feels wrong as if it doesn't belong on me.

"Beatrice..." he starts to say as his eyes are everywhere but on me, I can see he has a lot to say to me but can't seem to find a way to do it. I think it's not wrong of me to want to help him, I put my hand on his shoulder "it's going to be okay Robert, it's only 12 weeks" I shouldn't feel thrilled about spending so much time away from him. His eyes get wider than ever as he looks at my hand on his shoulder. I think he's going to pull away from my touch because it's improper but what he does next takes me by surprise. Robert grabs my shoulders tightly and before I can understand what is happening his mouth crashes into mine, his eyes are closed and his brow furrowed as he moves his lips slightly to kiss me deeper. I know I should close mine, let myself get caught up in the moment and feel his kiss all over my body but I can't do it, I just want to break away from him.

I take a step back and Robert opens his eyes, there is fear, shame and nerve in his gaze "I'm sor... I'm so sorry Beatrice I shouldn't have done that" no, you shouldn't have Robert "it's just..." I may not feel the same as him, but I'm ashamed to see his suffering. "It's okay Robert, I'm fine. It's okay."

"You're going to leave and I didn't want you to go without knowing that I'm going to be thinking about you all this time" shit, all this time I've been dreading my impending relationship with him knowing how selfless our future will be and feeling distressed about everything I could have if our ways were different and now that I have this romantic gesture from him, I reassure myself that I don't want it. It's not the fact that I have to marry someone, it's him. I don't know if there is anyone in this world for me, I just know it's not Robert. "It will be all right" I say and try to make my smile convincing, for whom, for him or for me?

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Tobias POV

I finish getting dressed as I focus on the role I have to play starting today for the next 12 weeks. I've done this two years in a row but this time it feels different. I don't know if it's because of the way things are at the compound or because of how irrational Eric seems to be these days. I lace up my boots as I remember our conversation last night.

"Someone from Abnegation will be coming to supervise, he or she'll have to go through every part of the initiation just like everyone else and fuck Four, I want you more forceful than ever" Holy shit! Even though I knew it, having confirmed that someone from my old faction will be here creates a knot in my stomach. What if it's someone who can recognize me, what if it's him?". "We should handle this carefully Four" Max on the other hand seems thoughtful, calmer. "Is this why you're going to supervise the transferees again?" The question leaves my lips before my brain registers the stupidity of questioning Eric.

More yelling and bullying to explain to me how delicate it is to have someone come in to babysit. Lauren is quiet, this is her business too, but whoever comes from Abnegation will be in my group of transferees and not hers of Dauntless-born. Lauren is rough, she has made the toughest initiates suffer, but me...I have been called cruel, ruthless, soulless. The leaders know that if there is anyone here who can break anyone who dares to question their methods and decisions it is me. This initiation will be the hardest, not only do I have to take care of the newbies, help them survive this, but now I also have to watch my back. I just have to pray that whoever is coming is willing to help us and not just get in my way, I have had enough work protecting them all, I have failed with so many people in the last two years...

As I close the door to the boardroom on my way out, I hear Max say to Eric "We have to keep a cool head about this, one mistake can wreck everything", the following is more of a whisper but I sense it clearly "You think she might be divergent? no doubt her convictions doesn't match her faction, or she may just be a stupid girl who doesn't belong there and seeks solace in proposals that will help her out of her compound", Eric responds with hatred in his voice 'If we play this right, she may not even make it to week four'

Shit, the supervisor is a girl, could it be the girl Uriah is in love with, and maybe she's divergent? No, I can't worry about that now, I don't know how many of the transferees carry this curse, I can't protect them all, I can't be distracted by someone who thinks they can fight the most dangerous faction, because that's what we are now, a death trap for all who choose to be bold...

I have to hurry, I have little time for breakfast before we finish preparing for the jump on the net. In the dining room everyone is seated at our usual table. Christina is dressed to go out "Yes it was explained to me last night, PR is practically not a permanent job, I think it's more like something Eric made up for this occasion. I have to go to The Hub and get the Abnegation supervisor, maybe it won't be so bad and I can see my family if they decided to attend this year's Choosing Ceremony"

"It's a she and she'll have to go through the initiation like the rest" I decide for once, to include the others a little in what's going on in my head. Uriah looks up quickly. More than being excited, there are some nerves in his gaze. "Or something like that I heard last night when we met with Eric and Max, I'm not too sure..." I decide not to ruin Uriah's breakfast, I don't know if he's really in love or if what he says about seeing her as a friend is true but either one, he's worried that it's her, there's no point in me telling him everything I heard about Max and Eric, later it will be time to deal with this, now there's nothing he can do, neither can I.

"It has to be one of the ambassadors, they are the only young people" says Will also worried. All the laughter and jokes from the conversation we had when they told us about the proposal to oversee our initiation are now far away, the table is laden with dread. "They are good girls, I hope they make it" Christina gives him an innocent kiss on the cheek.

Christina says goodbye to everyone in the Pit as she heads out of the compound, the rest of us linger for a while before heading to the net. Two hours, that's all it takes for the initiates to take a leap of faith into the void. I'm sick of it.

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Beatrice POV

We arrive at the doors of The Hub, there is a mass of colors heading for the elevators, only a gray blur moves towards the stairs, I get ready to follow them but I am stopped by my mother's arm holding me to pull me away from the rest of our faction, there is something urgent in her gaze. "Beatrice, my child" she pulls me towards one of the pillars in the hallway, shielding us from prying eyes. She gives me a tight hug and I give her one back. "You can do it my dear, you were born for this. You are the bravest person I have ever known, this is a piece of cake for you" There is something in her gaze, does she knows, my heart skips a few beats, does she know that two years ago I was about to choose another faction? Her right hand cups my cheek, there is love and pride in her eyes. She squeezes my hands and starts walking towards the stairs.

My legs shake as I walk through the huge doors of the choosing room, everyone begins to take their places. Jack Kang the leader of Candor is standing on the podium next to the bowls. This year it is his faction's turn to lead the ceremony. I look among the ranks of Dauntless for one of the ambassadors, I guess they will be the ones to lead me to their compound. There is a girl with short black hair, she is taller than me. She turns to the door looking for someone, her eyes fall on me and I can't help but feel intimidated, she is beautiful. She has almond skin and dark eyes, her eyelashes are huge and full of black makeup that makes them look thicker. She smiles after a few seconds and I realize I have no idea what I look like in her eyes. I've been so nervous since yesterday that today my mother helped me do my hair and I didn't think to look in the mirror.

She walks up to me confidently and stretches her hand towards me "You must be the Abnegation ambassador coming with us to Dauntless, I'm Christina, you're coming with me. Wow, you are prettier than I imagined" I know I should shake her hand, I have done it many times with Uriah and Will but this is new. I shake her hand awkwardly and she laughs. It's a light and funny laugh, I can't help but imagine that if we lived in the same faction maybe we would be friends, I guess for the next 12 weeks we could be. She's nice enough to lie about me, telling me I'm pretty. "Uhm, I'm Tris, nice to meet you."

"Tris" she nods as she points to two empty seats in the third row of her faction '"I set aside places for us to watch the ceremony, before we finish you need to come with me so I can explain everything you need to know to get to our compound, come with me" she takes my hand and pulls me up the stairs, her touch is uncomfortable, I'm not used to physical contact from strangers let alone in public. We sit down while the rest of the people in the room finish settling in. Jack begins his speech but I can't pay attention, my head is spinning and I feel nauseous from nerves. I cast small glances towards the Abnegation section looking for my parents, I suddenly find my mother looking towards my place with pride in her eyes, is she maybe picturing me dressed in black, maybe she is imagining the same 'maybes' as I am right now.

The dependents begin to parade around the stage pouring their blood into the bowls of each faction, there is shouting and clapping but I fail to register anything. Before I can concentrate Christina gently nudges me with her elbow in my ribs "Come on Tris, we have to leave before the others, come on" she gets up and starts walking down the stairs, I notice over me the eyes of members of other factions who don't understand why someone in gray is walking next to someone in black as if they were friends. Before leaving I turn to look for my parents. My father looks at me with concern but my mother just smiles and moves her lips in a silent "I love you", I smile at her and get ready to tell her that I love her too when Marcus' eyes distract me, there is hate in them, hate and an evil grin that throws me off for the seconds it takes before I return my eyes to the stage.

We take the elevator and step out into the Chicago heat. "I'm sorry you have to do this in that big dress, but I couldn't bring you proper clothes for the train" Christina says to me as she looks me up and down evidently disapproving of my attire. She starts walking towards the train tracks and stops when we reach them. "Ok, it's really easy, when you see it coming you have to start running at top speed" What?, I've seen hundreds of times dauntless jump off trains, I know it's something they do often but... they don't expect me to be able to do it, do they? "Don't worry Tris, it's not that hard" Christina must look at the horror on my face but she laughs as if it's no big deal. I hear screams and laughter behind us, a mass of people dressed in black run towards the train tracks. It shouldn't take long to pass, I remember other choosing ceremonies and when Abnegation comes out, there are no dauntless outside The Hub.

"Ok then you run as fast as you can, because it's your first time someone else will be in charge of opening the wagon, you just take care of holding on to some handle and propel your whole body into the wagon ok, get ready, here it comes!" I feel it before I see it, the tracks shake with the weight of the train coming at full speed towards us, when I see the driver's cab I hear Christina walking away shouting "Now Tris, run!", it takes me a few seconds to understand the instruction, shit I have to run. In front of me I only see dauntless jumping towards the cars, Christina runs at top speed while she turns to see me, she is farther and farther away from me. I run as fast as I can but I'm afraid that my legs will be born flames from the fire I feel in them. I watch as Christina

grabs a handle and jumps into the car gracefully, shit shit shit shit run faster Beatrice. Christina pulls half a body out of the car to encourage me to get on, I try to grab the handle but the train is going too fast, what if I don't make it? Eric made it clear that if I fail the initiation the deal is off. No, all my effort can't be lost in the first few minutes. I don't know where my body gets the strength to run, but in a few milliseconds I'm back to the level of the handle, I grab it and with all my strength I jump into the wagon.

I have almost my whole body inside but I stumble against the edge of the car and fall face first on the floor. My ears are ringing from the effort and it's hard to breathe. "Fuck Tris, are you okay?" Christina grabs my arm to help me up off the floor. I can't believe it, I DID IT, I JUMPED INSIDE OF A MOVING TRAIN!, instead of leaning on Christina to pull me up, I roll over myself to lie on my back, my hands on my belly trying to calm my panting, I open my eyes to look up at a concerned Christina above my head. I start laughing and she looks at me with concern.

"I jumped onto a moving train" I tell her as I laugh, she starts laughing too. "Yeah girl, congrats" she stretches out her hand to help me up. I take it and for the first time I look towards the inside of the car. The dauntless closest to us look at me oddly, I guess the news of my supervision didn't reach all the members of the faction. Leaning against the walls are some members of other factions. Their eyes are wide, expectant about what their chosen faction has in store for them. Christina just looks at me as I approach the car doors, holding onto the tubes as I peek through them. Chicago passes in blurs before my eyes, the air hits me hard in the face , knocking strands loose from my bun and making my eyes water. I still don't breathe normally but I feel it, for the first time I can feel it: the freedom I've been searching for all my life.

I hear some members of Dauntless talk about someone from Erudite who couldn't jump inside the train. "Sometimes it happens," says Christina, "It's hard the first few times even when you know what you have to do. We transfers don't know until we have to do it" I look at her with my mouth open even though it's rude of me, Christina is a transfer? But she is... so dauntless. Christina seems to know what I'm thinking because she laughs "Yeap, Candor, two years ago, ugh I thought I wouldn't make it the first time. It's sad to think that there are those who don't make it and are doomed to be factionless just minutes after transferring out of theirs." Christina seems to sink into her own thoughts and I take advantage of this to continue looking out over the city.

"Are you ready?" Christina asks me, I don't know how long I've been leaning against the door. "Are we there?" I answer her excitedly, I see the rest of the dauntless take distance from the door, I peek out and see that we are going over the roofs of some buildings, I don't see any stations or flat ground where we can jump on. "Something like that" Christina looks nervous as I examine the buildings in front of me, in a second the rest of the dauntless start jumping towards the rooftops. "Take off and jump as far as you can Tris" Christina starts running to the door and jumps towards the roof. What? There's more than a meter distance between the train and the roof, I turn to the front and see that I have only a few seconds left to jump. I take a deep breath as I take off, "'Don't think Tris, just jump,' I have to cheer myself up.

I run and when I reach the edge of the train I jump with all my strength, the air hits me hard in the face and I look only a few seconds down to the void, the cement floor is too far away from me, the panorama changes and soon I fall on my knees and hands on the roof, the force of my fall makes me drag. Ouch I feel scrapes on my knees and on my hands the skin scraped on my palms, there are a few spots of blood. "Tris, very good! Next time you're going to land on your feet don't worry" Christina grabs the inside of my arm to pull me up, as I'm wiping the dirt off my hands I hear the most gut wrenching screams I've ever heard. I turn towards the train tracks and several dauntless are looking over the railing towards the ground, two dauntless girls are on the ground sobbing as other people try to lift them up and away from there.

"Tris come" Christina grabs my arm to pull me away from the railing but I let go of her. I walk to the shore and lean out, my stomach churning, I'm about to throw up. On the ground several meters below is a giant pool of blood and a mass of limbs on top of it. Two people didn't make it, two people fell meters and meters to the hard concrete. My eyes fill with tears, did they die of shock before they hit the ground? my god I hope so. What? am I wishing one kind of death upon another on someone I don't even know? Christina pulls me away from the shore "Tris, tris! Easy, these things happen sometimes, come with me please."

"But..." I start to say, I don't think I can hold back the tears, I've never been so close to a body, but no, I'm not close. Many meters separate us who managed to jump from those who didn't make it. "Not everyone has what it takes to make it Miss Prior" Eric's icy voice wakes me from my daze. I look up at him and his eyes are glaring hatefully at me. He enjoys seeing me scared, enjoys the unfairness of two lives lost for something as absurd as reaching a faction. "Don't you have a door to enter your compound, Eric this makes no sense, risk lives for what?" Eric laughs cruelly "Two small acts of bravery to prove you deserve to be here. are you ready for the third?" Eric walks away and climbs up the partitions of the opposite fence, the rest of the initiates begin to gather in front of him.

"Initiates, behind me is the entrance to our compound. Your compound if you so choose and prove to us that you have what it takes to become one of us. My name is Eric, I am one of the leaders of Dauntless" Eric smiles mischievously at all the initiates, it is as if he doesn't even care to find out who lost their lives only seconds before. "In Dauntless we admire courage and bravery. To doubt is to fear and to question out of fear is something we don't admit here. Which of you is brave enough to go first?" Eric sweeps his gaze around the group of frightened faces, someone up ahead peeks over the railing "You want us to jump down?, is there anything down there to stop us?, you know two people just died from falling from this distance don't you?" Candor boy asks Eric. "Are you scared?" Eric's gaze darkens. "No one?" He asks through clenched teeth.

What is going on here, how is it possible that in less than an hour this faction has already twice risked the lives of so many people, claiming the lives of two so far.
Nobody moves, nobody wants to face this, not even those born in Dauntless. The thought passes me by so fast I can barely register it as my mouth moves without my allowing it "I'll do it" Christina lets out a shriek behind me. Everyone turns to look at me and Eric lets out a laugh "Go ahead stiff, I'm paying to see it" he says.

"You coming with me?" I turn to Christina and she lets out a snort "fuck no. See you downstairs later" ok, it's ok she's done it before and she's still alive, there's nothing to be afraid of. I walk to the edge and peek over. At the bottom there is a hole in the floor, you can't see anything after it, it's completely dark. I grab hold of the railing and start to pull my legs up, my whole body trembles with nerves but my stomach throbs with excitement. I'm fully standing on the railing, the air flutters up my dress. "We don't have all day Prior" Eric scolds me.

Don't think, just jump Tris. I close my eyes, think of my parents, of Caleb, of the Beatrice of two years ago who woke up sure she wanted to be in Dauntless, of the freedom I felt a little while ago as I rode the train; it gives me courage. I take a deep breath, move one foot into the void, one, two, three leaps. I start to fall quickly, I left my stomach and heart up there. I open my eyes and emotion floods me, I keep falling but I feel no fear, I want to finish falling to see what's next but at the same time I want to keep flying forever. Suddenly I crash against something, I close my eyes expecting to feel pain but my body bounces against something light, I open my eyes and move my hands, a net, I let out an involuntary laugh; I think it's partly from hysteria and partly from happiness. I let out a breath and cover my face. I can't believe the mix of emotions that have happened in just a couple of hours. I look up at the ceiling, from down here I can make out Eric's silhouette many meters above.

I feel the net sink on one side and my body rolls towards where the movement is happening, arms pull me out of it. All my hair is in my face. Arms grab my armpits to carry me out of the net and help me to my feet. I push my hair out of my face and look up at the hole I just fell through, I hear noises all around me but I can't take my eyes off the ceiling, off the sky. "Ahem" I move my face quickly towards the front, the person who helped me out of the net is giant unlike me; I'm standing in front of a male torso, I start to look up our gazes cross and I spot a shade of blue I didn't think existed and oh!, I definitely didn't leave my heart up there because I feel it beating wildly against my chest and at the same time I feel like it skips several beats, something strange runs through my whole body.

"A stiff one is the first jumper?" I hear a girl say behind him. The boy's hands let go of me and my body feels cold, empty of the electricity I felt a few seconds ago. What's going on?

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Tobias POV

I wait with expressionless face by the net. Four years ago I fell down that same hole and every year it's the same, some cry, some scream even some have landed unconscious in the net. I screamed, I fell and felt my face soaked, a mixture of tears of terror and another part of happiness for the promise of freedom that Dauntless was giving me in exchange for facing a fear I didn't know I had. They must all be on the roof by now, I thought I heard a scream, the kind you never want to hear, the kind that comes from your gut. Someone must have fallen off the roof. Until a few minutes ago the list of initiates was 55, I hope it stays that way.

It's always the same, the choosing ceremony ends and on the way they send us the list, the largest number of transferees comes from Erudite, Candor follows, this year there are three Amity, I don't think they will last long, they never do. And as always, except when I was 16, none from Abnegation. None except the person stupid enough who decided to come to this faction to supervise, stupid because it pissed off the wrong two people, Max and Eric.

Any minute now they will start dropping, the room fills with noises, every year the same bets are made and every year the result is the same, the first jumper is someone born in Dauntless. The first noise is heard, is it a cry? is the first jumper crying, shit whoever made that bet is going to be a millionaire. The sunlight hits the hole directly so I can't see who it is. A small body blocks the light and I distinguish two things, the first: the person is wearing a dress that is too long, too... grey? the classic garment of women in Abnegation? The second: she's not crying, she's laughing, what the fuck is going on here? The girl falls into the net and as she bounces I hear a laugh that is a mixture of sweetness and hysteria, shit, did she enjoy falling so many meters, is she crazy?

"Ahem" I hear behind me, I stand stunned for a few seconds instead of helping her out of the net, I lean my body on the net to roll her to the edge. The gray dress rolls as the long blonde hair tangles around her face. No trace of the neat hairstyle the women usually wear in Abnegation, the train, the wind and the jump strip her of the stiffness of our faction, shit, her faction. I support my weight more and grab her arms to pull her to the edge, I grab her torso and carry her to force her out of the net, she weighs nothing, I could carry her all day without getting tired, WHAT? I can't see her full face, she has it raised towards the sky, admiring the meters she traveled the free fall, I think she's smiling, not in a grimace of shock, but of happiness, she's really glad, she's really happy.

The weather is too hot, her dress has short sleeves, they show a smooth white skin, when my hands brush the inside of her arms my whole body is electrified, the current is so strong I want to let go but it keeps my hands glued to her sides. She keeps looking up, excuse me are we so uninteresting to you that you can't bring yourself to look at us? "Ahem" I clear my throat and she quickly directs her gaze to the front, she is much smaller than me, her face looks at my chest and slowly moves up to my face and then I see them: the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my entire life, a perfect combination of blue with a gray I never knew until now. It's not the gray of the clothes I burned when I came here four years ago, the gray of her dress, no. It's the gray of the

sky meeting on the horizon with the blue water of the little piece of Lake Michigan that's still alive. It is the combination that is created in the minutes before a storm breaks. I struggle to breathe, her eyes stare back at me with such intensity that I fear if I don't pull mine away, they're going to read all the secrets I'm hiding.

"A stiff one is the first jumper? do we have to call her out as an initiate?" Lauren asks behind me. I realize my hands are still attached to her body, I drop them and instantly regret it, what if it stops circulating my blood because I lost the electricity I felt moments ago. I'm torn between anger at Lauren's distraction and thankful at the same time because I stop losing myself in the ocean of grays and blues yet I don't know if I could have done it on my own. We both turn to look over to where Lauren is.

"I don't k..." I start to say but I'm interrupted by a voice so powerful it doesn't belong to the body it comes from, that force shouldn't belong to her.

"My name is Tris, I am the ambassador of Abnegation. I don't know what 'announce the first jumper' means to you, is that how you keep count of those who survive the first hour of your initiation?" she asks sarcastically and oh my god, I doubted it but I confirm it now, she's crazy, does she think we enjoy watching people die? She directs her gaze directly at me and I lose all ability to speak; I know I've been out of Abnegation for four years now, but the last time I checked, the girls there were quiet, shy and lacking confidence that Tris spits out with every word.

Oh shit, shit, shit 'Tris', this is Uriah's girl. She keeps looking at me, waiting for an answer, but what was the question, fuck, right, she thinks we enjoy torturing initiates before we even enter the compound. "Excuse me?" I spit the word out more coldly than I intended to, usually with less intent is enough to make the other dauntless ones back off, her?", she didn't even flinch. She raises an eyebrow as if telling me she's not surprised at my character.

"I'm not surprised that the reject rate in your faction is so high, taking into account that you put my life in danger not once, but three times before even properly entering the compound" her voice sounds disapproving, accusing us of something she assures in her head. I want to yell at her if she doesn't think its not all of us, if it doesn't occur to her to think that some of us, ME, wants to help, but there is something in her look, something I can't quite understand but I could bet my whole life that 'our three attempts to take her life' revitalized her more than all her years in Abnegation. I know because I've been in her shoes. I chuckle and keep my 'Four face', Uriah was right, this is not your typical abnegation girl but she can't come here, to my workplace and plant herself as if she knows more than us, more than me, and further accuse me as if I'm the asshole who upsets initiates or kicks out members, as if I'm the reason why Dauntless is becoming more and more of a piece of shit.

Initiation takes less than three minutes, and I can already assure it will be the longest 12 weeks of my life. I feel irritated but can't quite figure out why. I raise my voice and it comes out more like a growl "First jumper Tris" I lean in a little so only she can hear me "Thank you so much for your service princess, thank you for taking the time to come save us" I let all the venom I'm feeling right now come out in the form of sarcasm. What is it about this beautiful eyed woman that irritates my every fiber? She only raises an eyebrow, clearly not at all impressed by my comment, as if what I said was nothing more than a toddler's tantrum. We stare at each other, neither willing to be the first to break contact.

The scream coming from the egg on the ceiling forces me to look away, out of the corner of my eye I see that Tris is still looking at me, expecting something from me an apology? Shit, have a seat love. Each and every one of us here fight every day to save ourselves and ours, we are all scared and no one can trust authority anymore, coming to oversee us like we can't be trusted, I don't appreciate that, you don't know everything, EVERYTHING I've done to save us. His gaze burns me as I watch the second jumper fall. I nod to her where she can wait for this to be over. The springs of the net squeak as they catch the body of a boy dressed in black. Christina enters through the door leading to the stairs to the roof, heading towards Tris.

As I reload my full weight on the net to pull the initiate out I think and hear Tris say with less enthusiasm and in a whisper.

"This is going to be fun."

'This is going to be fun' shit.

A/N

Well, it took me a bit of work to write this chapter because life happens and the duties of being an adult get in the way of my creative process but here it is, hopefully you like it :)

Also for Gabri14 thanks 4 ur review, it is fully appreciated, hope you enjoy this Tobia´s pov :)