Chapter 7: Seeking the Answers

Sōhei would later apologize to both Yuki and Ame for how he acted; however, he still forbade Izumi from going outside the farm as a wolf. He wished he could also say the same to Yuki, but he didn't want to push her too much; he also knew that there was no way he could convince Ame, even though he was just as concerned for him. Izumi resumed school once summer break ended, and she continued to act normal while there despite spending those six weeks training to be a wolf. She would still find time to play around the farm in her wolf form whenever there wasn't any school; at times she would also practice what she learned over summer break so as to not forget. She wished her mom would play along with her more, but most of the days Yuki was not in the mood due to her growing concern for her own mother who continued to fight her condition. What she did always have time for, however, was cuddling. Both Yuki and Izumi learned from their own experiences with each other that the soft touch of their fur could relieve them from any negative emotion. Whenever either one of them was having a bad day, the other would use their wolf form to soothe their troubles away. Even Sōhei found himself needing this comfort sometimes; Yuki had already helped him keep warm during harsh winter nights by turning into her wolf form and cuddling with him in bed; now he realizes that doesn't have to be the only time that can happen. Despite the new rules causing disappointment to the family, their bond still held tight.

Izumi continued to progress through school over the next years with no hassle. She finished kindergarten and made it through first and second grade, eventually making it to third grade. Throughout this time in school, she had managed to create her own group of close friends that included two other girls named Mayu and Keiko and a boy named Hareta. Despite having this close group, none of them knew about her secret. She would later know that was a good thing because in school she would learn about how Japanese wolves came to extinction as people believe them to be; that made her understand her father's orders more. Outside of school, Izumi continued to practice her wolf skills when she got caught up with all her homework. She had now grown up from a pup to a juvenile, and she really wished her father would let her go out and train more with her uncle now that she's bigger and should be able to tackle bigger prey; however, she was still barred from doing that. This disappointed her, but she now understood the reason and didn't want to upset her father like she did back then. Ame still continued to visit the house even though he wasn't getting visitors at his den. Since he didn't want to cause any bad blood between his family like he had done before, he made sure to oblige by Sōhei's rules and try not to force anything onto Izumi. Mostly he just stopped by to drop off food as usual and chat, sometimes staying for dinner if he felt like it. Izumi had gotten a bit too old for constant playtime with any of her wolf kin by this point, but that didn't stop them from having the occasional romp whenever they were in the mood. Yuki, at least, was glad to see that her daughter could still balance her two forms much better than she or her brother could ever do.

##

One evening in early October, Izumi was relaxing on her bed in her room. She wasn't ready to fall asleep, so she decided to read to pass the time. While that was happening, Yuki sat down at the kitchen table while looking outside. Even though she stood by Sōhei's stance, she herself was beginning to miss exploring the mountains as a wolf. It had been three years since it happened, but she still remembered how thrilling it was when she completed Ame's course perfectly and how Izumi looked up to her for that. As she was thinking, Sōhei came up and sat with her. When asked what she was thinking about, Yuki told him all about it.

"I know where your heart is," Sōhei replied to his wife's statements. "However, I still hear rumors aplenty, and even Izumi has learned why the wolves of Japan have gone away."

"Ame has managed to survive living in the mountains for over a decade," rebutted Yuki. "Even to this day nothing bad has happened to him; why don't you think we can't do the same?"

"I'm just as worried for him as well," Sōhei stated. "Besides, weren't you afraid of Izi ending up like him?"

"That was before I realized how good she is at living a double life," replied Yuki. "Neither Ame nor I could find our happy medium initially, and that's what led to us having our fight. Izi doesn't seem to have any resistance to either side of her."

Sōhei paused for a couple of seconds before responding, "Didn't your mom say that Ame had completely changed the day he left?"

Yuki remembered what her mom had told her: "She said that after he saved her from a mudslide, she saw him turn into an adult wolf and didn't even seem to acknowledge her as his mother anymore. This is why she thought he had decided to completely forget about his human self, and I was afraid that Izumi might end up the same. Of course, we would reunite the next year and learn that he was, in fact, still the Ame that knew and loved his family." She paused in thought for a few seconds before continuing, "The one thing that confuses me is how he became an adult wolf at his age, because the fight we had was just the night before, and both of us were still juveniles then."

"Well, maybe we shouldn't think too hard about this when Izi isn't at that age yet," Sōhei recommended as he got up.

Yuki remained seated. "Maybe you're right; we shouldn't tell her now."

Unbeknownst to them, Izumi was secretly listening to that conversation from her room. She never knew that her mom was worried about how she could possibly end up and that there were facts about her uncle that she had no idea about. This left Izumi with more questions than answers, questions that she needed the answers to right now but knew she wouldn't be able to find at home. Making as little noise as possible, she opened up her bedroom window and climbed outside, shutting it right after. She then turned into her wolf form and stealthily made her way out into the mountains, using her senses to find where her uncle was currently at. Even though she knew she was breaking her father's rule, she also knew this was the only way to get the answers she needed.

It was still dusk in the mountains, and Ame was sitting at the vista point looking over a pond that his sensei had shown him before. He was currently in thought while still maintaining his patrol. The thoughts were about his own state and the fact that he was the only wolf in all of Japan that was living in the wild. As he was thinking that, he suddenly detected a familiar scent; as he looked to see where it was coming from, he soon saw Izumi coming up to where he was. Confused, but still welcoming to her presence, Ame turned his focus directly to his niece as she came up closer to him.

"Izi? What are you doing here, and up this late?" Ame asked her.

"Sorry, Uncle Ame," Izumi replied. "I heard my parents talk about you and bring up some things I didn't know about before. It left me with some questions, and I'm hoping you can answer them for me since they're all about you."

Ame sat in thought for a few seconds, not expecting his niece to suddenly be so inquisitive towards him. Eventually, he replied, "Well, I might be able to answer them; go ahead."

Izumi then sat down right next to him and prepared to start her questioning, hoping that this will all go well.

"How old were you when you left home to become guardian of the mountains?" She first asked.

Ame thought this over, "Well, let's see, your mom was just nearing the end of elementary school. Since I was supposed to be in the grade below her, that would've made me about ten years old."

Izumi looked a bit worried at that response.

"Why do you ask that?" Ame questioned.

"Well, it's just that I heard from my parents that on that day, Grandma Hana first saw you become an adult wolf," responded Izumi. "How did that happen at that age?"

"Wolves age differently than humans," answered Ame. "What would be equivalent to a ten-year-old in wolf years is already considered an adult."

Izumi then rebutted, "But then, why is it that when you and Mom had your fight, you..."

"Oh, you found out about that, didn't you?" Ame cut her off, replying in sorrow. "Just so you know, your mom and I apologized for that a year later, and nothing like that has ever happened since."

"That's not really what I'm confused about, though," Izumi resumed speaking. "I heard that the fight was the night before you left, and both you and Mom were still juvenile wolves then. How did you become an adult wolf the next day when you're younger than Mom?"

Ame remained silent for a few seconds with a puzzled expression on his face, surprised that Izumi would actually ask him a question about himself that he couldn't give a clear answer to.

"I...don't know; I never really thought about it," he finally responded. "If I had to make a guess, it's probably because my mind had matured at that point. It was a heavy downpour that day; my sensei, the previous guardian, was dying, and I had to step in help out all the other animals. Despite this, your Grandma Hana was worried about me going off by myself, and she tried to find me in that storm. I wanted to desperately prove to her that I was ready to be on my own and that I didn't need her in my life anymore, so that must be why I became an adult then."

Izumi looked glum at that answer, making her uncle seem like someone who would abandon his own family. Ame knew she wouldn't like that answer, though.

"But I would soon come to regret my actions on those two days." Ame added. "I thought that because of how I treated my family, they wouldn't accept me in their lives anymore, so I didn't really think about the possibility of ever trying to reunite with them. Then, in the summer of the next year, they came out into the mountains to find me. I detected their presence in my den and eavesdropped, but I had no idea how to approach them. Once I recognized their scent, however, it was like a rush of nostalgia had come over me. I heard how distraught my mother was, and once she found the drawings I had made, I knew exactly how to act. I also saw that your mom was in wolf form after I thought she never would do so again, so I returned the favor by becoming human again in front of them. Ever since that day, I've wanted to make an effort to be supportive of my family while still living my own life."

Izumi now looked aglow with how her uncle described the way he turned his life around. "Mom says she's grateful for how much you've cared for us despite your history," she said to him.

Ame smiled at that statement and responded while gently petting the back of Izumi's head with his paw, "Me too, kid. It's no fun being a true lone wolf since you have no one to go to."

Izumi smiled while enjoying her uncle's adoring gesture. "That must be why," she said under her breath.

"Why what?" Ame asked.

Izumi turned her face into a frown as she hoped he didn't hear that. Now that he did, there was no point trying to hide it. "Mom said she was afraid I'd end up like you if I took an interest in being a wolf too much."

Ame frowned back, "Well, it's not really her choice how you end up, is it now? What you want to do with your life is all up to you." He then questioned her, "What did you want to do, anyways?"

"I want to be both a human and a wolf," Izumi responded. "I like being able to have a double life, socializing with people and hunting in the wild. I don't see why I have to choose one or the other."

"Your mother and I could never do that," Ame said back. "Why do you think you can?"

Izumi paused with nervousness before answering, "Because I love my family, and I don't want to let any of them down."

Ame stayed silent at that response. He thought her answer would be something he could counter, but there was just nothing he could say. Izumi then decided to head back home before her parents really got suspicious. As she took some steps away from her uncle, another thought came to her mind, and she turned around to say it.

"Uncle Ame," she called out to him, "you shouldn't have to be lonely. My mom was able to find someone, so why can't you?"

Ame continued to remain silent while he watched her head down the mountain path back towards home.

##

The day after the conversation with his niece, Ame continued to patrol the mountains searching for any potential threats. As he was doing that, everything that Izumi told him kept racing through his head; he never thought that she would be the one that would make him question himself more than anyone else would. The one thing that stuck out the most was what she said just before leaving: how he shouldn't have to be lonely. For the longest while, he didn't think of that as much because he believed his family was basically his pack, yet if that were the case, he wouldn't have been envious towards them once Izumi came into the picture. He thought he could fix that with raising Inari as his own, but of course, that didn't go as planned. Even being a good teacher to his niece didn't seem to help his loneliness all that much. It was clear now that Izumi had brought it up that he didn't just need someone to be a father figure to but an actual mate, just like how his father and sister managed to find one. The problem was that there were no other wolves around, not to mention that he couldn't go out into the human world due to his role as guardian as well as his introversion that led him to this path. Ame also tried searching over the mountains for Inari. He hoped that finding the foster daughter that abandoned him would allow for a chance to start things over. However, none of the foxes that he came across recalled that name or had the familiar scent of her. He tried conversing with them along with other canids to help with searching, though no luck has proven thus far. As much as Ame hated to admit it to himself, being guardian of the mountains was beginning to seem more like a burden with each passing day.

While walking through a wooded area, he heard the noise of a startled raccoon dog come running by. Ame stopped it to ask what the commotion was, and it seemed to have spotted a human. Ame knew he had to check it out for himself as part of his role; even if it wasn't a hunter, human presence was still a primary concern. When he tracked himself to where the raccoon dog came from, Ame soon spotted the human standing next to a stream that was below the rocky face he stood atop. It was a woman in a black leather overcoat; she didn't appear to be a hunter but rather a photographer who was taking scenic pictures. Ame suddenly remembered what Sōhei had mentioned about tabloid photographers that were following the rumors that had been mentioned and thought this might be one of those. He hid behind a tree and crouched down so that the woman couldn't see him but he could still keep an eye on her. As he was watching, Ame didn't seem to notice anything that would make it seem that this woman was seeking him out; she seemed to be more focused on getting shots of the stream instead. Ame then began to wonder if this would really be considered a threat; after all, she wasn't harming any of the other animals. His sensei never told him what to do with humans that weren't threats, so maybe he should just let this one be. He continued to keep his eye on her to see if anything amiss should happen, and as he did, he began to actually admire her looks for some reason. Ame didn't think that he'd ever find himself attracted to a human when he's dedicated his life to being a wolf for almost fifteen years. Suddenly, while the woman was setting her camera on the ground, she lost her footing and fell into the stream. She was struggling to tread the water and started to drown while calling out for help. Ame saw all of this, and it reminded him of the time he almost drowned after getting the urge to try and catch prey himself, yet he also found himself in a predicament of morality. He was never taught what to do if a human was in trouble, only if one was causing the trouble. Would he really let her drown just because she was trespassing in his domain even though she wasn't doing anything harmful?

"No," he thought to himself; he wouldn't do that. There should be no reason for humans to be an exception to what he saves from danger. He wanted to continue to shed the negative image that he brought upon himself. The woeful question he asked his mother back when he was a little kid echoed back to him: "Why is the wolf always the bad guy?" It was time to prove that wasn't the truth!

With courage, he rushed down to the stream and went into the water. He saw the woman's arm and switched his front paws to hands so that he could grab her. Using all of his strength, he pulled the woman to the bank of the stream. The woman was unconscious, so Ame tried resuscitating her, remembering how his mother did it to him. Eventually, she began to cough up water and started to regain consciousness. Ame suddenly backed away and ran as he didn't have the courage to reveal himself to the woman. Once he got far enough away, he stopped to catch his breath. Strangely, he was still thinking about the woman. He couldn't get her face out of his head, and now she seemed to be someone that he actually might want to meet if he was in human form. Ame had managed to memorize her scent while he was saving her; with that, he could easily track her down if possible. He had a plan, one that he would need some assistance with. This plan, as he saw it, would most likely lead him to what he has really been missing in his life all this time.