Just like the AO3-exclusive snip I wrote, this chapter's title comes from the song Say No to This, from... You guessed it! Hamilton.

The senses were such peculiar things. Most of the time, vision took the role of the most important way to perceive the world. With hearing being the second place, albeit not one that came even close in importance… Most of the time. This was, evidently, not a universal thought. But, for someone like Hachiman, these two senses were obviously the most important ones. In that order. Smell and taste were okay, in his experience, but only really came into play when food was involved. They didn't feel that fundamental for day-to-day experience. And never mind touch, as he didn't actually enjoy physical contact that much.

But scratch all of that. Rip it to pieces and burn it down, laugh at the ashes and throw them to the wind. Those thoughts had all but vanished, snapped out of existence without even getting to put up a hint of resistance. For his eyes had been blinded to the world around him, and there was no need for them where he was going.

Hoshino's lips were soft, warm. Hachiman couldn't see her; but the way she smelled, the way she tasted… He couldn't think at all. Although, to begin with, he hadn't used his brain even before. He allowed the mood to breach his defenses, he placed his hand on her cheek, he leaned in, he saw her close her eyes and shudder.

Perhaps he had convinced himself that Hoshino would pull back, that rejection was the obvious outcome for this. Never mind that, if Hoshino had matured enough to recognize the danger of doing this now, she'd probably have been hurt by Hachiman's negligence. She would've had every reason to hate him, to distrust him.

They hadn't actually been away from one another for long enough, and it showed.

Hoshino's arms found purchase around the back of his neck, over his shoulders. Helping her cling to him enough that his sense of touch perceived more than just her face. He felt her chest pressing against his own, her ribs move when she arched her back, the way she shakily repositioned her legs so that the two wouldn't bump knees due to such close proximity and the awkward form of the couch.

Hachiman had been holding Hoshino's face thus far, but her own arms were on the way. So he allowed his instinct to find a better spot to place them, to allow him to experience her as much as possible. This wasn't some sweet, innocent peck on the lips. It would probably be something childish to Hoshino, all things considered. And Hachiman's brain had melted too much for just a small kiss.

Hoshino bit his lower lip, and he felt her own stretch up through their touching cheeks and the small sound that came out of her mouth. Other than the small moans that he heard before.

Was she chuckling? Giggling? It sounded kind of girly, but describing that sound was pretty hard at the time. Hachiman's vocabulary was lacking, and his willingness to concentrate on something other that clogging his senses with her essence was lacking at best.

"You taste so much better now…" Hoshino whispered in such a way that made Hachiman shiver, releasing his lips to nibble his lobe playfully. Before taking a lungful of air that had her sighing while clinging to him. "You smell worse…"

Hoshino moved her face against the neck area of Hachiman's shirt, pulling it away with her nose and placing wet kisses on his exposed skin. Slowly working her way to expose his collarbone without having to rely on her hands.

"Hoshi" An electric jolt ran through his whole body, cutting even his thought off. Hoshino had opened her mouth wide, and dragged her tongue from his collarbone, up his neck, and onto the territory of his chin. Where she finally hid it away and closed her mouth.

"…" Hoshino frowned, letting go a bit, and showing him her tongue while pulling back. Letting Hachiman breathe and come back from what felt like being ejected from his own body and yanked back.

He couldn't sit straight anymore, so that was a problem. Hoshino didn't seem too bothered, not even breathing that hard. At least not while she took a swing from her drink and kept it in her mouth for a couple of seconds before swallowing loudly.

"Bleh…" Hoshino scratched her tongue with her upper teeth before making wet sounds with her lips, as she probably still had the taste of his sweat in her mouth. "Sorry, I only realized how bad an idea it was after I did it."

"U-Uh-huh… Yeah, no problem. Uh…" Hachiman wasn't even sure what she was talking about, but she didn't seem to mind. Instead, she pushed her drink further onto the table's center after taking another swing of it, just to go back to embracing Hachiman.

"Anyways…" Hoshino didn't even let him comprehend what was going on, what that pause had been about. She just went back in, like she was in her own house.

She basically entered Hachiman's home, didn't take off her shoes, sat on his couch, asked what was for dinner, and slapped his ass for good measure. But, like, in a metaphorical way and pseudo-romantic.

It didn't feel bad, not really. But it still irked him a little how this relatively petite girl was so casual about disengaging, drinking something to replenish stamina (?), and taking command of this operation all without him green lighting any of that.

Granted, he probably lost the right to complain when he kissed her. Still, Hachiman was still someone delicate deep down. The least he expected were flowers and a more romantic date before being handled like that.

Hachiman moved one of his hands to place it on her shoulder, to lightly push Hoshino away now that his mind was working a little better; but Hoshino wasn't having any of that.

She snagged his hand with both of her own, cradling it against her reddened cheek. Panting lightly now, and letting Hachiman breathe.

"Your fingers are so thick…" Hoshino murmured, moving his hand and kissing the back of his middle and ring finger. Eyes closed while her thumbs slowly ran back and forth his own skin.

Again, an electric sensation invaded his nerves. But only from his hand, and not violently enough to make him shake.

Still, the way she gave his hand small kisses was… Hot. In a strange, not really visually appealing, way. It was something else. More dedicated to other senses than the always important sight. Something more primal.

The difference in size between them became even more apparent, and Hachiman couldn't help cradling her face. Making her drop his other hand and look at him with glazed vision and releasing small pants.

"Are… Are you okay?" Hachiman couldn't help asking. He had never seen a similar expression, not really. Not like this. At least not in real life. It was unfair to compare, but his brain quickly tried to recap every time he had kissed a girl. Trying to figure out what was happening, or trying to ignore the clear signs, but he couldn't fit a clear 1:1 image to this.

The exercise hurt him a little, but that only helped to center him. To bring back some of his logic and ability to reason.

Hoshino had no clue about this.

"Never better." She was blushing, but she didn't sound shy. She was clearly gleeful, but her voice had such calmness that Hachiman momentarily forgot what his question had been. It was enrapturing, because these were not selfless emotions. Not if her words were to be believed. "So you finally decided to give me what I want… Took you long enough."

Selfishness mixed in with happiness, and a sense of bonding mixed in with possessiveness. Hachiman couldn't quite describe it without using terms such as "jealousy", "affection", or even "attraction". But they didn't quite fit. Hoshino's emotions were messy, unorganized. And, although he might be overthinking again, they struck Hachiman as more morbid in nature than that. Not bad, or dark. Just… Coming from a strange place, deep within her heart. Expressions of a mind that had to dodge so many things while developing that common notions were twisted into similar, but not quite the same, shapes as the feelings and emotions that Hachiman was used to.

Did they disgust Hachiman? A little bit. Hoshino was beautiful, but no less twisted for it. The way she clung to him made his chest tighten and his brain insisted that he should reciprocate. But, at the same time, the way she did things was apathetic. Ignoring context.

She did not wonder what had changed, why he was doing this, nor did she stop to think that they were still in public. No matter how private this place might be.

Hachiman needed to be the bigger person here.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no. It's fine." Hoshino pressed the right side of her face against his chest, almost mewling in the process. "What's important is that you finally gave up… Maybe I should leave more often."

"I…" Hachiman scoffed, intrusive thoughts filling his mind with garbage thanks to his heightened senses. Still capable of feeling Hoshino's chest through their clothes, just now closer to his stomach. "I did lose a bit of resistance to your face, I guess."

"You're not supposed to resist my charms!" Hoshino puffed her cheeks, glaring at him cutely. But that expression felt fabricated. Fighting against her breathing and clear desire to close her eyes.

It clicked then. Hilariously, stupidly. It clicked what Hoshino was probably feeling at the moment, and the realization made Hachiman backtrack. Snap out of his own hazy-minded decision making.

She couldn't be… Right? The thing about his fingers was…

Hachiman studied her expression more, and Hoshino stayed put. Waiting for him.

He lifted her chin with his right hand, fingers coiled, and placed his thumb over her lower lip. Hoshino let him manipulate her head obediently, let him drag her lip down a little. Exposing her lower teeth for him to see.

Her tongue appeared from within her mouth and licked the tip of his finger. Weird, but not in a creepy way. Not here, at least.

Hachiman made her open her mouth a little, and placed a finger inside it.

Hoshino dragged her tongue to push against it, making the finger trace a line against the inside of her cheek. It was warm, moisty, and soft. Not in the way a plushie is, but in a way that made Hachiman want to stay there. Maybe shove another finger in or…

He closed his eyes and pulled his hand away. Hoshino pressed her lips together, clamping on his finger and moving along Hachiman's limb. Not letting go.

"Hoshino…"

She did not let go, even when he wiggled his wrist a bit to test how stubborn she'd be.

"Hoshino, please. You're making this weird."

"Hmmm…" Hoshino nibbled on his finger lightly, eyeing him up like she was daring him to do something about it.

Hachiman clenched his jaw, again feeling his mind obscured by his body's needs.

He pulled her up, and cradled the back of her head with his free arm. Kissing her jaw once, then kissing closer to her cheek, then closer to her lips.

Hoshino let go and shoved her tongue inside his mouth. He almost flinched at the suddenness, at how eagerly she coiled her arms around his neck again. Holding herself on one knee on the couch and one stretched leg to stand on the floor.

Hachiman closed his eyes without realizing, embracing her around her slimmest portion, below her ribs and above her belly button.

How had she articulated her thoughts so well, when she was clearly not thinking? She probably had hacks on, because Hachiman had needed to calm down before he could even begin to understand sentences. It was an unfair advantage that had them end up in this situation, or so he wanted to tell himself.

She was so passionate that he wanted nothing but give her everything she wanted, anything she asked for. And, at the moment, she seemed to be intent on pushing him down on the couch and straddle him.

He pushed her a little closer to his hips, rather than lower on his body. For the mere thought of what would happen to his rationality should that not be the case, made him shiver in a mixture of horror and anticipation.

"You can fondle me, if you want." Hoshino murmured, placing her hand on top of one of his, which still held her by the waist. Trying to pull it away from holding her there. "Touch me as much as you want… Lift the dress if you want."

"You have jeans on." Hachiman pointed out breathlessly, completely missing the point that that wasn't the problem here.

"…I didn't mean my butt." Hoshino sounded genuinely confused for a moment, but her gleeful smile returned after a moment. "But! If you like that more than boobies, then who am I to judge? Enjoy my body to your heart's content, and I will do the same."

"Hoshino we're in a café." Hachiman hurried to squeak out, seeing her grab his shirt and try to pull it up.

"You're right…" Hoshino stopped, eyes becoming sharper. "Let's pay and go somewhere more… Private."

Hachiman gulped when Hoshino let herself lie on top of him, tracing little hearts over his man-nip through his shirt.

"I promise it won't be quick." Her face was covered from his sight because of how she laid on him. But the playful tone, the whispering of every word… It made Hachiman shiver. Fracture into feeling like an animal being trapped by a bigger, more vicious creature, and like a professional athlete about to have the greatest second wind in the history of second winds.

It's so over/we're so back. Finally materialized as one in his mind, clearer than any form of knowledge that had been passed down to him since the beginning of his small and rather pathetic life.

"I-I-I…" Hachiman gulped, forcing his tone to not go high pitch like a teenage anime girl facing a scary character kabedon-ing her in a corner of the school. "I… I have to go fetch my sister…"

"Don't talk about family now." Hoshino scolded him. "You're ruining the mood."

"Ah… Sorry, err… Sorry…"

"Gosh, you're so shy~ Where did all that seriousness and logic go? Where is the man that denied me that one time, I wonder?"

If Hachiman could see his own face, it would be so red that it might actually start emanating visible light. So hot and bothered that, instead of looking like a tomato, he'd be looking like a heater turned on.

And he was, but still.

"You didn't go this far…"

"'Far'? I thought this was… Par of the course?" Hoshino raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. Whereas, normally, she would be confused, now she looked amused by not fully understanding his words. "Certainly, you have lots of experience handling so many girls around you, right?"

Her tone might've been sweet, but there was poison mixed in there too. An unspoken reproach that came from who knew how far back. A feeling that she might or might not recognize as her own, or might not have, until now.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Hachiman turned his face away, looking at the back rest of the couch. Denying her the ability to read his expression.

Her chuckle was dark, cold, and filled with something that enthralled him even more. Like a net slowly descending on him, softly entangling his limbs and restraining him with whispers of something comfortable. Something pleasurable. Hachiman couldn't resist. So, as if possessed, he turned to look at Hoshino again. Witnessing the darkness in her heart mixed in with the rest of her.

Whole, as she had been meant to be. And so, so intoxicatingly beautiful.

"Really now? You're telling me you haven't fooled around with your so-called 'friends'?"

Hachiman was going to open his mouth, but the memories of the fake dates with Isshiki made him stop in his tracks.

"N-No…" He still replied, just with less certainty than he wanted. With less conviction than it was necessary to make Hoshino believe him.

"Is that so? And what guarantees that my girls won't become your 'friends' too?"

"Hoshino, you're accusing me of some rather serious bastard behavior." Hachiman scowled weakly, not knowing whether to resist her poisoned words or try to appeal to her evident lust and just… Give in. "Do you really think so lowly of me?"

Hoshino was still smiling, but she rested her chin on him for a moment. Softening up.

"No." Her words filled him with relief, although with some disappointment too. This side of her… Even though she was walking all over his self-image… It didn't feel too bad. "Of course not, Hachiman-san. You're everything I'm not."

Hoshino kissed the spot where his ribcage exposed his upper stomach. A wet sensation spread through his shirt, and soon enough he felt her teeth trying to pinch his skin, to no avail.

"You wouldn't let your ugly desires control you." She finally whispered, calmer now.

Ugly, huh.

"I don't know what you mean by that." He spoke softly, placing his hand on top of her. "But that's not the case at all."

"Really? Then why haven't you pounced on me?" She sounded a little surprised, not wholly in-character yet, but her reaction was subdued. Like she was still restraining herself.

Hachiman scoffed.

"You're mixing up the bad in people with something… Err… Let's call it natural."

"'Natural'? Perhaps for you." Hoshino chuckled darkly. "I'm not supposed to be doing this. I am an idol."

"The rules you have subjected to don't make sense." Hachiman growled.

"It's what I know." Hoshino countered.

"And you know a reality that is wrong." Hachiman let his head drop against the couch. Feeling his body start to relax after Hoshino did. "What do people care anyway? Way I see it, the only people that would frown at your romantic choices are losers that know that they don't have a chance but desperately despise everyone who does to compensate."

Hoshino chuckled.

"Those are my fans you're talking about."

"And I hate every single one of them." Hachiman hugged her tighter, now with some desperation of his own. "If you weren't subjected to any of this… You'd be so much happier."

"It's the only thing I know." Hoshino reminded him. "I can't do anything else. I didn't go to school, I have no skills outside of dancing and singing, I can't even begin to comprehend how people can learn things so quickly…"

Hoshino pressed her face against his chest, holding him tighter than she had this whole time. Shivering a little.

"It's my chance to make something of my life, Hachiman-san. I won't waste it just because it's hard!"

Hachiman sighed, unable to fully process the bombshell that she just dropped.

So she put it aside, understanding that her words were true. At least, for the time.

"That's why I've avoided the topic, I'm sorry." Hachiman dragged her closer to his face, kissing the top of her head with the same care that he would his little sister. "You're doing fantastic, after all. You just… Need to be a little more careful, that's all."

Hoshino didn't answer immediately, but he felt a little wetter on his chest. Where she was hiding her face. And a thought crossed his mind so quickly that he chose to follow it before he could think better of it.

"You're such a good girl, Hoshino… Ai. I am appalled by the thought that people wouldn't look at what you've done and would be blinded by disgust, unable to see how far you've come under your own power."

"Stop it." Hoshino mumbled, pinching what little fat the side of Hachiman's waist had. Making him groan. "I feel weird. I… I'll want to make babies if you continue…"

Oh. Oh, holy shit…

"A-Ah… I, ahem! I see…" Hachiman covered his mouth, beyond embarrassed. "I'll shut up now, then."

"Are you disappointed?" Hoshino didn't face him yet, but her tone became sweeter. He was unsure if it was genuine sweetness, or if she just wanted to appear calmer. But the question felt like it came straight from the heart.

"Of course not." Hachiman stated with as much sureness as he could muster.

"You sound nervous." She pointed out, now sounding clearer in her thoughts.

"Well, I…" Hachiman gulped loudly. And that made Hoshino look up, try to see what he was doing. "It's just, umm…"

"Are you hiding something from me?" Her gaze became more focused, sharper. Hachiman felt even more like prey animal now.

"I-I… I just don't have experience with… Y'know. That. Hah…"

Hoshino's expression became blank for a moment. She opened her mouth but said nothing, like a fish trying to breathe while being held above the water by someone.

"You're a virgin." It wasn't a question, and Hachiman couldn't help the small outcry that left his mouth while covering his face with both hands.

DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD, PLEASE!

Hoshino grabbed his hands with so much strength that it made him yelp. He snapped his face toward her when she removed his hands from it. Looking more alarmed now, momentarily forgetting that he wanted to disappear from this world because of how embarrassed he felt.

"You're a virgin." Hoshino repeated. But, this time, it sounded like she was cherishing the thought.

"Y-Yeah…"

Hoshino licked her lips, probably without thinking.

"I see." Slowly, almost like she was wrestling with herself for control over her body, she released his arms and went back to sitting properly on the couch.

"Y-Yeah…" Hachiman stayed lying on his back, waiting. Feeling like a predator was still around, looking for a weak spot to sink its teeth in his prey neck.

"I see." Hoshino repeated, taking a lungful of air that looked painful even to Hachiman. "That changes things."

Apprehension seized his heart now. Was she disappointed?

"Why?" A plethora of thoughts crossed Hachiman's mind. Excuses, begging, arguments. None of them made it through his brain.

Hoshino's smirk was evil again.

"It'd be terrible of me to take your v-card in such an unceremonious way." Her words became more heated, but she restrained herself. Staying put while talking, but moving her shoulder like she was forcing herself not to pounce at him. "It should be special, right? Something that you'll never forget."

"A-Ah…" Hachiman slowly sat back up, making some room between them and taking his drink to finish it. It had been empty for the longest time, however. "I… I see…"

But… That meant that he managed to avoid a problem, right? That meant that he hadn't made a terrible mistake here, right? It meant that he was still on the right path with Hoshino… Right?