Crescendo, Chapter X:

Maybe I'm just irredeemable

Rell was no stranger to violence. Throughout most of her life she had been subjected to senseless violence and killing in someone else's pursuit of power. Once she finally saw the extend of the horrifying crimes the academy had comitted to make her their weapon, she had decided to turn the weapon on her makers. While it was a righteous cause, she wasn't blind to the death and destruction she had caused since then. She had struggled with it at first, spending many restless nights agonizing over whether the end justified the means. In the end, her hatred for the Black Rose had prevailed over her empathy, and these days she hardly felt anything for the people whose lives she ended. They shouldn't have stood in her way; it was as simple as that. She was no hero, trying to save the poor people of Noxus. She was a weapon with the sole purpose of avenging all the innocents that had to die to satisfy the empire's hunger for power.

"What are you doing? Are you completely crazy?"

Yet even she was shocked when her blue-haired captor started freaking out and pointed her black-powder weapon at a young child that just stumbled into the clearing.

"I - I can just go. I don't want to cause trouble." The child looked back and forth in fear and confusion, but was only met with more shouting.

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT REAL! I SAW YOU DIE! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME AGAIN?" Powder went crazy, that much was for sure, but Rell had no idea when or why. She seemed to have been relatively fine up to a minute ago, but the look on her face made it clear not a single rational thought went through her mind right now. Samira tried to calm her down, but the young mage knew that it was going to be pointless.

"Powder, look at me. I don't know who you lost and who you think is haunting you. But this kid is real. We can talk about this, just please take the gun down."

Yeah, no chance that was going to happen. Rell stood a few feet behind the crazy woman and weighed her options. If she just let this play out she could possibly sneak away in the aftermath. They were closing in on this "magicacademy", and once she was inside there was no way they would let her leave again, so she needed to make a move soon anyway. This was likely the best chance she was going to get. Besides, she still had not broken through the magic bindings of her chains, so there wasn't much she could do anyway. And once Powder turned on her for intervening she would basically be defenseless. It'd be nothing but a pointless death, just to play the hero that she never was.

Ah shit, who am I trying to fool.

She flung herself forward just as Powder pulled the trigger. Her hands were chained so she simply barreled into the other girl, throwing them both to the ground. The shot rang through the clearing as they landed in a heap on the forest floor. The madness that took hold of Powder sadly didn't seem to slow her reactions, as Rell felt the other girl kick her in the stomach with enough force to send her flying. The forest rotated around her as she sailed through the air and slid across the ground for a few feet. Her ears were still ringing from the gunshot, her stomach hurt like she got kicked by a warhorse, and even though she had stopped moving, the forest around her seemed to rotate around her still. Through pained gasps she slowly pushed herself up, which was a challenge without being able to use her arms, before coming to her knees and trying to get a hold of the situation.

Samira had rushed towards Powder and seemed to attempt to calm her down. To no avail as it appeared, as the blue-haired maniac was lashing out at the mercenary with incredible speed, putting Samira on the back foot, dodging every kick and blow by the skin of her teeth. Rell watched them leap across the clearing for a few seconds, before she remembered the young child that she had tried to protect. Looking around she spotted her standing just a few feet away, her eyes opened wide as she stared at a nearby tree that had splintered on the side by the bullet that had been meant for her.

Gods, she really would've shot the kid. What is wrong with her?

Rell was no saint, but even she would never attack an innocent child that just happened to stumble into her path. She slowly approached the kid, trying her best to look unthreatening, while ignoring the pain in her stomach. Powder had kicked her in the still healing wound and she was feeling nauseous from the waves of pain emitting from her side. The girl didn't react to her approach at all, eyes still glued to the tree. Her small hands grasped the stuffed animal in her hand with so much force her knuckles turned white and seemed to gasp for air in her panic.

"That was a close one, huh? You alright? What are you doing out here on your own?"

Rell kneeled next to her, thinking of anything comforting to say. She had no idea how to speak with a child in a normal situation, much less when said child almost got shot by a psychopath. A moment passed without any reaction from the girl, and Rell cast a worried look over her shoulder. It seemed Samira was still holding her ground, but there was no telling how long she would be able to last. She needed to get the kid to safety and ideally get out of here herself before their fight was over.

"No. No, you can't. I won't let you."

It wasn't more than a whisper, but it was enough to draw her attention back to the child in front of her. She was still staring away from her, tears now running down her face. Where Rell had seen fear on her face before, now she saw desperation.

"Let me what? Hurt you? Don't worry, I want to help you. Let's get away from the crazy women first and then you can tell me where you need to go, what do you say?" There was no visible reaction from her, as she just kept mumbling to herself.

"It was an accident. They're fighting over it, they didn't mean to..."

She trailed off, leaving Rell to try and make sense of what she said. It didn't sound like she was talking to her, but no one else was around. Either the girl was as crazy as Powder, or there was something here she was missing. Where did she come from to begin with? Samira had said this route was save because there were no settlements between here and the magic school,so why was she stumbling through the forest? Unless...

"Did you run from the Conservatory?"

The air around her seemed to flicker, as the child finally turned to look at her in a panic.

"I won't go back there. You can't make me!"

Rell had to take a step back due to the heat emanating from the girl, flames seeming to dance across her short red hair as she glared at the older mage.

"Whoa, hey now, no one wants to..."

She tried to say more, but the heat made it difficult to speak, so she took another step back while trying to move her hands up in a calming gesture, only to be once again hindered by the chains wrapped around them. Damn it, the kid must've been hunted just like she had been when she ran away, of course she would think they were trying to drag her back. Rell opened her mouth to try and explain, but the girl beat her to it.

"You should have left me alone."

The girl thrust her hands forward and threw her stuffed bear at her. Which would've been adorable, were it not for the fiery explosion that transformed the damned thing into a full-fledged, eight feet tall flaming bear rushing at her. Rell could only throw up her arms to cover her face as the creature collided with her. She felt the heavy impact strain her arms and felt part of her skin singe just from the proximity, before the creature swiped at her with a burning claw and sent her scattering across the forest floor. Before she could get back on her feet the bear was already closing the distance and preparing to finish her off with another swing.

Reflexively she raised her right hand to try and push the beast back with any metal she could reach, and to her surprise the tattered chains laying around her shot forward and impacted the bear, pushing it back. It seemed the girl's magic had destroyed the magic bindings she had weakened throughout the weeks.

There was no time to celebrate her reacquired powers however, as the monster angrily swiped at the metal fragments, scattering molten metal around it. She couldn't control the metal once it was liquid, so she was rapidly running out of ammunition. Deciding for a change in strategy, the mage summoned every remaining bit of metal to her, forming a shield in front of her. It was brittle and wouldn't withstand more than a few blows, but it was all she had.

The monster charged at her, and she flung herself to the side at the last second, her shield blocking a strike that would have cut straight through her, before stumbling back to her feet. The beast barreled into a tree and set it aflame, before turning around with a snarl. This time it approached her slowly and got up on its hind legs, towering over her and leaving her with nowhere to run. The first claw came down and she managed to jump out of the way, only for the second one to be stopped by her makeshift shield inches from her face, the heat making her eyes tear up before she threw herself down and rolled through under the creature, before taking off in as fast a dash as her battered body would let her.

This creature was unreal! Even with her full armor and reinforced steel she didn't think she would be able to hold it off for long. But with no equipment and while still recovering from another fight? The next time this thing had the opportunity to strike at her it would rip her apart. She looked around frantically for the girl but couldn't see her anywhere. She must've intended this thing as a distraction and ran. Just how powerful was she, that she could summon something like this without having to focus on it. She could hear the heavy impacts of the bear chasing after her. It would only be a matter of seconds until it reached her.

The one time I try to play the hero, and I get mauled by the summon of a child. What a joke.

Multiple shots rang out from the other side of the clearing, and she heard a noise from the creature that almost sounded like a pained grunt. Taking the chance to turn around, she saw that the monster had stopped in its track, glaring at the dark-haired mercenary who had both her guns raised with a seriously pissed off expression on her face.

"Not enjoying silver bullets, daemon? I might not be able to kill you, but I can make sure you can't return to our world for a while. That fight worth the risk for you?"

The monster looked at Samira for what felt like an eternity, and for a moment Rell was convinced it would decide it was worth the risk and destroy them. Finally, however, the creature bared its teeth in a twisted grin and slowly circled around them until it disappeared into the forest.

The moment it was out of sight Rells legs gave way and she collapsed face first on the ground. She heard approaching footsteps before Samira grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her on her back, facing the mercenary.

"You gonna die on me?"

Rell cracked a small smile. Any thankfulness she might have had towards the woman for saving her life was offset by the knowledge that she only did it to receive her bounty.

"Not yet. What was that?" she nodded towards where the flaming bear had left. Samira followed her gaze before shrugging.

"Some kind of demon I'd assume. Never seen one this powerful without being in it's true form, though."

"And you could've killed it?" The mercenary barked out a joyless laugh at the question.

"Fuck no, I used all the silver bullets I had on it, and it just felt a pinch. It's a great way to get rid of anything that doesn't belong to our world, monsters, demons, undead and such, but if they're too powerful they'll just shrug it off."

Samira looked down on her, brows furrowed, before continuing.

"Did the girl summon her?" Rell hesitated for a moment, she didn't want the other woman to hunt the poor girl down, but there wasn't much of a point in lying when she already assumed so anyway. She gave a quick nod and tried to sit up. Samiras eyes darted towards her unchained hands for a second, but she didn't comment on it.

"She was scared because of what happened. I think... I think she's a runaway from the Conservatory. When I mentioned the name, she panicked and..." She finished the sentence by gesturing around the clearing. The mercenary heaved a sigh and nodded, before marching over to their supply backpacks and rummaging around in them. As far as Rell knew, the other womanhad no idea still of herconnection to the Roseguard Academy. She had seen no point in sharing anything about herself to her captor, as Samira had made it clear she didn't care about anything but the bounty on her head. She also probably wouldn't trust a word Rell said. But if this child really was on the run from another school potentially run by theBlack Rose, then she needed to try and convince the mercenary to help her.

Pain shot through her left arm as Samira poured water on the burned skin and she reflexively tried to pull away, only for the other woman to grab her arm firmly.

"This should help with the burns, but you're gonna need an actual doctor soon. Looks like that thing really did a number on you, eh?"

She wasn't wrong, Rell could barely move on her own right now. Her side still hurt from Powder's kick, her arms felt like she had held them into the fire of a forge, and her right leg had a nasty gash that went almost all the way from the knee up to her hip. She wasn't even sure when that had happened. One thing was for sure though, she was in no state to escape or help the young pyrokinetic. All the more of a reason to try and get Samira's help.

The mercenary was taking care of her wounds with the experience of someone who treated a lot of warriors on the battlefield, cleaning the gash on her side before bandaging it up and checking on the bullet wound.

"Try and keep the burned skin moisturized but don't bandage it up if you can avoid it. Let the skin breathe."

Rell only nodded along. Now that she wasn't fighting for her life anymore, she could feel her thoughts slowing down as tiredness overcame her. They had been marching all day and were preparing to rest before their surprise guest showed up. The fight, as short and one-sided as it might have been, had takenthe last bit of energy out of looking across the quiet clearing, she finally noticed the absence of the blue-haired girl that had started this whole encounter. Forcing herself to stay awake for a bit longer she faced the mercenary who had just finished taking care of her injuries.

"What happened to Powder?"

Samira's face was unreadable as she hesitated to answer the question for a moment. Eventually, she answered with a sigh.

"I'm not sure. Something about this girl must've triggered some trauma for her, and she basically ran rampage. I tried talking her down and keeping her busy, but it was like I was talking to a different person altogether."

The mercenary shook her head in thought while massaging her left shoulder, where a massive bruise began to show already.

"Then you got exploded by that demon and both of us were distracted for a second. I look back to her and she's breaking down crying, saying that she's sorry, calling herself a curse and a jinx. I tried to talk to her, but the moment I got too close she just ... ran."

Rell didn't feel too sympathetic hearing this story. She had tons of trauma and had done some messed up things herself, but none of them included intentionally murdering a child. Or attempting to, anyway. She was however worried to hear that Powder also took off into the forest, just like the child did. If she wanted to finish what she started...

"We need to find them. The kid needs help. And Powder might be hunting her." The mercenary gave an almost sinister smile.

"Oh, believe me, I will be the one doing the hunting. I just need to wait for you to fall asleep so I can tie you up and make sure you don't get away, and I'll be on my way. I might get a campfire going first though, to make sure you don't get eaten by an actual bear in the meantime." It took a moment for the words to sink in as Rell was slowly drifting off. When they finally did, she gasped a small laugh.

"You're such a bitch."

Then sleep overcame her, and the world turned dark.

What have you done!? You shot a child! Do you think that is what Isha sacrificed herself for? You're a Jinx! JINX!

Jinx let out a scream as she sprinted through the forest. Why? Why was it that every time she felt like she was making progress she went and screwed it all up? She felt the urge to throw up, so she stopped her sprint by colliding with a tall tree, sending splinters of wood flying into the forest, before leaning past it and vomiting on the forest floor. She took a few seconds to catch her breath afterwards, the pain from the impact somewhat grounding her thoughts.

She hadn't meant for any of this to happen. She had promised herself that she could do better, be better. Yet when she saw Isha stumble out of the woods, she once again gave in to the raging voices inside her. They just wanted to destroy everything that caused her pain. Everything and everyone. Part of her knew that it hadn't beenIsha. The young girl was dead, she knew this. But whenever the voices took over, every semblance of logical thinking disappeared. It's what caused her biggest mistakes in the past. Her mind was flooded with memories of the day she destroyed the council. She had questioned the reality of everything back then. She had questioned that her sister cared about her, and in doing so almost lost her for good. She had questioned that Silco saw her as more than his little puppet and in doing so killed the only person in her world that had never feared her, even at her worst. She had questioned that the sheriff – Caitlyn – was only trying to help Zaun, convinced herself she simply wanted to steal away her sister, and ended up almost destroying the poor woman's life over nothing.

She could still see the fear in the eyes of the people she cared for the most. The fear in Vi's eyes turning to hatred as she finally understood her sister was no more. The fear of hurting his old childhood friend holding back Ekko's punches even as she tried to kill him. Every step along the way she was given chances to redeem herself, and every single time the voices took over and she came back to death and destruction around her, forcing her deeper into thedarkness.

And now? She had convinced herself that she had left that part of herself behind for good, that she could start anew without the burdens of her past. What a joke that had been.

When she had fought Samira, she could see it. The same confusion, the same uncertainty she had seen in Vi and Ekko when they first fought. They didn't want to fight her, but she didn't give them a choice. How many times could she snap like this before Samira would stop holding back like Vi did? How many times would she attack innocent children because she questioned reality before someone else put a stop to her?

Maybe Ekko was wrong. Maybe I'm just irredeemable.

Tears fell to the forest floor below, as she was screaming muffled cries into the bark of the tree. She didn't remember the last time she cried. She used to feel so indifferent about things that tears just wouldn't fall. Not that it meant anything after what she just did.

I'm sorry I shot at you, but at least I feel really bad about it. Yeah, that'll help her.

She stood like this for a few minutes, her crying slowly subsiding into sniffles. What was she going to do now? Should she head back and apologize to Samira? She didn't even know what happened with the girl. She hoped Rell's intervention caused her shot to miss, but she didn't pay attention at the time. Or should she just take the opportunity to run? She hadn't intended to stay with the mercenary in the first place, maybe this was as good a moment as any to go her separate way. If so, why did the thought of leaving feel so wrong?

Footsteps and hushed voices drew her attention, and she reflexively leaped up the tree she had leaned against, pressing against one of its thicker branches while peering down. About thirty seconds later, two figures broke through the underbrush. The first figure was smaller in stature, wearing a long dark red coat that hid their features, and spoke in a feminine voice that seemed somewhat familiar.

"Be ready. I felt the power surge about three miles ahead, but she might have run this way. She must've used a substantial amount of her power but don't underestimate her. Also, whatever she was fighting might still be around, so keep an eye out."

The second figure was male, about two feet taller than his companion, with short blonde hair, broad shoulders, thick leather armor and a massive broadsword on his back. He simply nodded and continued to scan the area. About ten feet from Jinx' hiding spot the woman suddenly stopped and raised her hand.

"I feel something. Nothing magical, but ... powerful?" Her gaze wandered to the tree and Jinx decided she had seen enough. Using her years of experience in being both fast and stealthy she silently climbed into the tree's crown, until she was completely obscured from view. She waited, holding on to two different branches for support while balancing on a third one that looked strong enough to support her. After about a minute she heard the voice of the woman again.

"Keep your guard up, but whatever it is, it's not our objective." And with that the footsteps continued away from her. She waited for a few more minutes before dropping down to the forest floor.

Was the power surge that woman mentioned the weird exploding bear in the clearing? If so, were they hunting the young girl? Jinx wasn't sure about the extent of Rell's power, but she was fairly certain fire and explosions weren't really her style. And why did the woman's voice sound so familiar?

What are you waiting for, you stupid Jinx? Are you going to let them catch her and finish what you started?

Okay, jeez. Not like she wasn't gonna follow them anyway. Jinx shook her head and wiped away the last tears from her cheeks, before silently following in the direction she heard the other group disappear in. She had no idea if she would ever be able to redeem herself. But she made a promise to try, and she would be damned if she ever went back on her word.

The ship was bustling with activity. Land was in sight, so every sailor aboard was preparing to anchor a mile or so off the coast. The captain had offered her to sail straight into port, but she had refused. She wanted to visit the beach her mother had told her about. The battle that had changed her life forever, according to her mother's story. She was about to head into a battle that would change many lives forever, and she was lying if she said she felt ready for it. Maybe one last lesson from her mother couldn't hurt at a time like this. The captain approached her - a gruff looking elder man, a member of her mother's fleet since she could remember - and slammed his fist against his chest with a slight bow.

"Lady Medarda, the ship is anchored, and we are ready to go ashore." She gave a small nod.

"Thank you, Madar. I assure you this will not take long, and we will be able to continue shortly."

Madar gave a toothy grin in response.

"It's your ship, Lady Medarda. You can take as long as you wish." He was right of course, but even after a few weeks it still felt like it didn't truly belong to her just yet.

The journey on the ship's boat was quiet. Her guards remained attentive and rowed silently, while she stared at the approaching beach, caught up in her own mind. When the boat hit the shore, she jumped onto the quiet beach and just began wandering, without a goal in mind. The only sound reaching her ears were the soft waves hitting the shore and the small metallic clinking noises from her guard's armor. This was where her mother almost lost her life. Where she chose to become the wolf, fearless, ruthless and willing to sacrifice whatever was necessary to achieve her goals. She had learned many things from her mother, and she had hated her for just as many things for most her life. Now she was faced both with an almost invincible adversary, and the decision of whether she could embrace the wolf inside of her the same way her mother did.

She didn't know how long she wandered and thought about her problem, but when she stopped and looked ahead, she could see the towering form of the Immortal Bastion in the distance. She was almost back in Noxus Prime. She was almost home. A more decisive expression showed on her face. All her life, people tried to force their way of thinking upon her. Her mother, the Black Rose, the deceiver, all of them tried to form her so she could serve their purpose. A smile formed on her lips as she remembered what Jayce had told her before they parted ways. She wouldn't be their pawn, she would march into Noxus Prime and dismantle the Black Rose that destroyed her family, and she would do it her way. With a last glance at the Immortal Bastion, she turned back towards the boat. There was much to do.

Author's note:

Feels like a lot happened but also not a lot happened at all, huh. Thanks for everyone still reading my story, and thank you so much for every comment, message, kudos, follow, or any other way of letting me know what you think of it. I hope I'll see you all next chapter, take care and have a great day! Also obvious disclaimer, I do not own Arcane, League of Legends or any of their characters, they belong to Riot Games.