The Back-Up Plan
Written: April 2008
"Dean, would you just listen to me?" Sam practically screamed, causing another thump on the motel wall. If they kept up the yelling they were at the least going to get kicked out, but if the person understood what they were yelling about they could end up with the cops at their door. Trying to calm himself down Sam took a deep breath.
"Look it's not as bad as it sounds." He said in a much more reasonable tone of voice.
Sam's brother was standing with his hands fisted at his side by the bed closest to the door. He'd been digging in his duffle when Sam let his little bomb drop causing the other man to freeze for a moment before demanding an explanation. Said explanation ended up with them yelling at each other loud enough the person in the neighboring room started banging on the wall.
"How can you say that, Sam? You'd have to ritualistically murder someone to replace their soul for mine in Hell. Does that actually sound like a good plan to you? Do you really think I want some poor bastard to roast in my place?"
"Why not? If we use someone who's going there anyway, someone who deserves to be there, why not?"
"Skipping the part where it's just wrong, it would make you a murderer Sam. It would damn you to the place you're trying to save me from." Dean was almost yelling again by the end and paused to take a few deep breaths. "I will not let you sacrifice yourself for me."
"But isn't that exactly what you did for me." Sam wailed.
"No Sam. It's not happening. Stop trying to save me, if the demon finds out you're looking for ways to save me she could void the whole thing and you'd drop dead."
"SO!" Sam screamed again causing yet another thump on the wall. "So what if I die, I was already dead Dean. You are the one supposed to be alive, not me."
Dean let out a weary chuckle. "Isn't that what I said after Dad sacrificed himself for me. I'm the one who's not supposed to be here."
"And then I'd still have ended up dead, and in that case no one would have saved me so I'd still be dead." Sam tried to point out reasonably but it was still edged with all his frustration.
Dean ran his hand through his dark blond, spikey, hair then down over the back of his neck like he usually did when frustrated. Letting himself warily sit on the edge of the bed he dropped his elbows down over his knees. "Sammy, please, I'm telling you don't do this. Don't make my sacrifice meaningless. Don't damn yourself to save me. Please."
Sam looked at his brother and took in the determination he could see on Dean's weary face. Inside his head he was still thinking of all the arguments he could make but he could see his brother wasn't going to listen. Dean had made up his mind and wasn't going to let Sam do this. Well, there was the thought wiggling in there that said 'how can he stop you when he won't even be here?'
"Sam?" Dean said, waiting for Sam's acceptance of his verdict.
"Fine. I'll find another way, but Dean, I am going to keep looking." Sam said this like a threat more than a statement.
Another sigh. "Sammy, there's only a few weeks left, you've been looking for almost a year, do you really think you're going to find something now? You need to accept this."
"No, don't you dare do this. It took so long for you to admit you didn't want to die and to let me try and help, you can't change your mind now." Sam exclaimed, feeling the panic rise in his chest.
"Sam I'm just being realistic. All this time and the only thing you've turned up is an even worse solution. I think if you were gonna find something you would've by now."
Sam strode across the room and dropped down in front of his brother's knees. "Please Dean, you can't give up, I need to find a way and I need you to try to fight. I can't.. please…" He begged.
Dean's hard green eyes softened and he reached out a hand to lay on Sam's shoulder. "Okay, we'll keep looking. But you have to promise me this one is off the table."
"Okay, yeah, I get it. But I know there's something out there Dean. There is a way, I just have to find it."
Dean gave a small smile. "I know you're gonna try and if there's actually something out there to save me I know you'll find it, but just… Sam, it might not be possible. We'll keep looking and trying but you have to prepare yourself. We both do."
"No, I won't let you go. I won't." Sam stated empathetically his hands gripping Dean's knees tightly.
Dean really did smile this time. "Alright sasquatch, you better get back to it then. I'm gonna go grab a beer, unless you wanna come with?" He said as he stood up, forcing Sam back.
Getting to his feet as well Sam went back over to the pile of ancient books he had spread all over the small motel table. "No, its fine, you go have some fun. I'm going to keep looking to see if there's anything else I can find."
After Dean left the room Sam grabbed his notebook and started making notes about this ritual he'd found. This book only contained an outline so he was gonna need to do much more research on it. This text only touched on the basics which were Dean would already need to be dead, he would need a solar eclipse (which a quick search revealed an impending eclipse on August 1, 2008), the blood of someone from the place where the soul was currently held (Heaven, Hell, Purgatory… wait there was a purgatory?), and a new soul to be sacrificed as trade.
In Sam's mind this was all doable but he would try and honour his brother's wishes as long as he could. He took the information down and then went back to trying to find another way as he'd promised his brother. However, Sam felt something settle inside him for the first time in almost a year. If he couldn't find a more Dean approved way he at least had this as a back up and would use it if it came down to it.
May 2008
Sam held Dean's body, not really hearing what Bobby was saying to him or anything else except the lack of the one thing he needed to hear most, Dean's heartbeat. His older brother was dead. The person who knew him better than anyone else in the whole world was gone. The only family he had left which now made him completely alone in the world. How was he ever supposed to recover from this.
Leaning down Sam rested his sweaty brow against his brother's rapidly cooling one, not caring about all the blood and gore. The hellhounds had really done a number on Dean's body and somewhere in the back of his mind Sam was already thinking of all the things he was going to have to do, like sew the body up and preserve it for when he would need it, to bring his brother back.
However, mostly he was just overwhelmed with the depth of his grief. Even with the thought that this didn't have to be permanent he still felt completely ripped apart himself. In Sam's whole life he'd always had his brother beside him. He knew that no matter what, whether they were arguing or not, talking or not, or when Sam was thousands of miles away at school, that if he needed it Dean would be there to back him up.
Growing up without a mother and with a father who was distant at best (an alcoholic drill sergeant who was more concerned with hunting than with raising his kids at worst), and with the transient lifestyle they lived, Dean was the only constant and supportive presence in Sam's life. While Dean had hero worshiped their father Sam knew it was Dean who was the real hero. Dean did things not for revenge like their dad but because he genuinely wanted to help make the world better. Dean was able to hunt with their father and save people while also watching Sam in the school play or showing up to his soccer games, only missing them when it was absolutely unavoidable… meaning John forbade it since he was needed on a hunt.
Bobby finally got through Sam's fugue state and got him to understand they needed to go before the cops got there so the two men lifted the body as gently as they could and carried it out to the impala that the older hunter had thoughtfully pulled up to the house.
Once on the road Bobby wanted to find a place to burn Dean's body but Sam almost shouted at the older hunter that he wouldn't be doing that.
"What fool notion do you got floating around that noggin Sam?"
Sam was behind the wheel and just trying to keep it together enough not to crash Dean's baby so he just didn't have the emotional strength to outmanoeuver the older hunter right now, thus he decided lying was his best option.
"Nothing right now but there has to be a way to bring him back and he'll need a body when I find it."
"Sam its done. Dean is dead and you need to let him go."
"NO!" His voiced was laced with his panic.
"No." He said more calmly, taking a couple deep breaths. "Its not over yet. Just… I just need some time." Sam glanced into the rearview mirror where he could see the body laid out on the backseat with a sheet over it.
Swerving to the shoulder of the road Sam just made it out of the car and to the side before he started emptying his stomach. It was mostly bile and fluid since he'd had a hard time eating lately, knowing what was coming, but his stomach was determined to turn itself inside out.
Bobby got out of the car and handed him a bottle of water to rinse his mouth when he finally finished, and they both stood there in silence leaning against the car.
"I love him too." Bobby said quietly, into the darkness.
"I know. But its not the same Bobby. He was my whole world." The tears that had been threatening for days now finally broke free and started to soak his face. "Growing up, the way we did Dean was all I ever had, my only friend. What was the point of even getting to know other people if we were gonna move in a few weeks? But Dean made sure I was never alone he was always there. Now he's in literal Hell and its my fault."
Gathering him up in his arms the older hunter held on while Sam sobbed. What if the ritual didn't work and he never saw his brother again? Worse, what if Dean stayed in hell, being tortured for all time or until he himself got so twisted he became the very thing he hated… a demon?
"I don't… I don't know how to be here without him Bobby."
"I know son. But it will get easier in time. You'll see."
"No it wont." Sam knew this all the way to his core. Something inside himself had died with his brother and if he didn't get Dean back he would never heal from it. He might go on living as he wouldn't kill himself and spit on his brother's sacrifice that way, but he'd always be broken inside and never feel whole again.
"Come on kid, why don't you let me drive. We'll get our stuff together and head back to my place and bury your brother if you don't wanna give him a proper hunter send off." Sam heard the emphasis on the word 'proper' and knew the older hunter was going to keep pushing for Sam to let Dean go and burn his body.
"No, its okay. I'll drop you to your truck. I have some things I want to do and I'll take care of Dean myself. I um, I need to be alone for this Bobby." Pulling out what his brother always referred to as his puppy dog eyes Sam tried to look as innocent and trustworthy as possible.
Not knowing what Dean had told the older man, if he had ever mentioned the ritual Sam found the month before, he didn't want to take any chance on someone trying to stop him so he knew he needed to keep Bobby out of it. The older hunter would never understand or just let Sam go do what he needed to.
"Are ya sure boy, I'd like ta help."
"Yes, I'm sure. I know you loved him but please understand, I need to do this my way." He pleaded with 'the eyes' at full power.
"The last time a Winchester told me that he ended up trading his soul in a crossroads deal. Tell me you aren't planning on following in your damn fool brother's footsteps?"
"I won't. I'm not gonna do that. Promise."
Th older man stared hard at him for a few moments before nodding his head. Sam dropped him off a few minutes later to his truck and pulled him into a hug while listening to him half heartedly complain, then got back into baby. He had a long drive ahead of him to get to the place he'd found that would suit his purposes. He had most of the ingredients for the spell he planned to cast on the body to preserve it plus he wanted to stitch and clean it up first as well. it was already going on 2 am and Sam knew he wouldn't be stopping for sleep that night as there was a lot of work still to be done.
June 2008
Sam finally hit paydirt. It had taken a lot of work and research but this was it, he had the full ritual in his hands. Feeling euphoric he jumped up from the motel room table and whooped while throwing his fist in the air. Sitting back down he excitedly started reading through it once again, making sure he hadn't missed anything but it was all here. Everything he needed to know.
For the first time in a month the pain that had become his constant companion lifted a little allowing him to take what felt like the first deep breath since his brother's death. He could do this, he would do this. He knew he was going to do everything this ritual required and he wasn't going to let anything get in his way, not even his own pesky conscience.
A knock sounded at the door before it just opened and Ruby sauntered in. He was still trying to get used to the little dark-haired girl she was now wearing so it took a second for recognition to set in.
"Alright Sammy, I'm here. I hope you summoned me to finally start practicing with your powers. I'd have thought you'd start long before now. Lilith is pissed over whatever went down with the two of you and is probably taking it out on Dean in Hell right now." The brunette rambled on as she strode around the room like she was entitled to be in Sam's space.
Closing the book and placing some other ones on top as if he was tiding up rather than hiding something from her, he scowled at her. "I told you Dean doesn't want me to develop my powers. It was like his dying wish."
"Yeah but he's not here anymore and you're the only one that can stop the bitch. Don't you want revenge on her for what she did to Dean."
Red hot rage washed over him, of course he wanted revenge but then his mind kicked back in. As much as he'd love Lilith's head on a plate he didn't have time for that right now. Him and Dean could go after her together when he got his brother back. Right now he needed to focus on Dean and that was all that mattered.
"Look, I don't want to talk about that right now. I needed a small favor, something I thought would be easy for you to help me with."
Ruby was clearly intrigued as her stance changed and she sauntered over to the table to take a seat across from him. "Are you asking for my help Sammy?"
"Don't call me that." He said automatically. "And yeah I guess I am." It totally wouldn't hurt to play into her vanity and ego. She had been trying to get him to rely on her for a long time so he figured this was a good way to play her.
"I need you to go find me someone evil. Somone that is destined to end up in hell."
Confusion flashed in her eyes before a sharpness settled there. "Why would you need that kind of information?" she asked shrewdly.
Sam's gut was telling him not to fully trust her with his plan. Actually, so far his gut told him to trust absolutely no one with that information, so he kept the details to himself. "That's not important to you. I'm working on something and I need something vital from an evil human. Figured the quickest way to find someone like that would be to ask you, was I wrong? I can find another way if you're not up to the task'
"Well no, I can do it in my sleep. If I slept that is."
"Okay, let me know when you have a name." Sam stood up and opened the door indicating he wanted her to leave. She looked startled that he was pushing her out so soon and a little lost at what he was up to which was exactly where he wanted her.
"Do you want any specific acts the person is to have committed or anything?" She asked, clearly stalling as she tried to walk slowly to the door.
"Yes, I want someone who has either killed or tortured or raped before. You can let me know the person's history when you bring me a name and I will then look into it myself to verify they are as bad as you say they are so don't try to trick me."
"What, why? I'm on your side remember?" She snarked as she turned in the doorway to look at him.
"And this is your chance to prove it." He said stepping aside so he could shut the door.
Her hand shot up. "But wait, I still don't get why you need this? What's going on Sam?"
"You don't need to know why." He growled as he started to shut the door again.
"Fine, but at least tell me what you need to do to the guy. That'll be important when picking someone for you."
"I'm going to kill him Ruby. Now goodnight." Sam found great satisfaction in shutting the door in the stunned demon's face. He wondered just how long she'd stand there frozen and chuckled to himself.
Sitting back down at the table Sam couldn't resist pulling the book from the bottom of the stack and reading over the ritual one more time. Everything in his life had come down to this and he was not going to fuck this up.
July 2008
"Sam Winchester, I'm gettin worried. You've barely answered your phone since… well, since that night. Give an old man a call and relieve his mind would ya."
Sam hit the button to erase the message and made a mental note to call Bobby back soon. Not only because he didn't want the older man getting suspicious of his activities but because he cared about him and didn't want him worrying needlessly.
Taking one last walk around the building to make sure everything was ready he patted his pocket that contained the paper with a name and address. He had to admit Ruby had come through. Denis Parker Reardon. Sam had driven straight to Kentucky upon getting Ruby's phone call and began learning everything he could about the man.
Born in 1979 to what appeared to be sweet god-fearing folk that had been unequipped to handle the kid they ended up with. School records showed a long history of bullying kids younger and smaller than him, especially girls and boys he decided acted 'too gay' didn't matter if they were or not. He had multiple suspensions and even an expulsion which had forced his family to move. Funnily enough, reports show that neighborhood animals stopped disappearing after Denis moved away and the whole neighborhood breathed a sigh of relief.
In high school his behaviour got worse and he was arrested twice for assault, the second time putting his victim in the hospital. His ex-girlfriend filed charges of domestic abuse but suddenly withdrew them and moved to go live with an aunt in North Carolina. He got expelled again during his senior year and this time decided to just give up on higher education. He got a job in a meat packing plant, found himself another girlfriend who he quickly married and popped out a couple kids before she packed the kids up and moved to a woman's shelter in another town. Unfortunately, he found her and she went back to him only to end up in the hospital herself after he beat her unconscious in front of their two kids.
His parents bailed him out of jail and the wife refused to press charges so other than the court mandating anger management classes there wasn't much they could do. Life seemed to go on for good ol' Denis. The wife popped out another kid then up and disappeared leaving the kids behind. She supposedly left a note but most people in town assumed he'd finally beat her too hard and killed her, then disposed of her body.
Finding life as a single father too hard it seems Denis found himself another willing woman but this one was smarter and left after the first hospital visit. Deciding fatherhood was too hard on his own Denis dumped his kids on his parents and moved to a new town where he didn't have his reputation following him. From what Sam had gathered no one missed him when he left.
Now settling into a slightly larger town, hoping to go more unnoticed, Denis picked up a job in another factory that didn't last too long after he got into a pretty heated argument with his boss. Getting fired set him back a bit but he moved on and found another job while the manager that had fired him disappeared one night on his way home from work. His body was found a month later beaten, cut up, and burnt enough that the police didn't find any usable evidence and even though they all believed Denis had committed the crime they were unable to prove it, especially when his parents gave him an alibi that they were visiting with the kids and Denis had been home at the time the man disappeared.
Things settled down for Denis for a couple years, he worked, went through a string of women, drank more and more. Then a 15 year old girl in his neighborhood went missing last year followed by another girl five months later and finally a 17 year old a month ago. There was nothing to indicate Denis other than the first girl lived down the road from him and had complained to her parents about the 'creep' down the road. However, Ruby had been able to fill in the blanks that he was taking the girls up to a cabin his uncle owned up in the hills where he raped and killed the girls before burning their bodies in the woods. She figured the cops were gonna find this angle eventually and Denis would get caught; but so far he was still a free man and if he disappeared no one was going to care.
Sam had double and tripled checked all the information. He went and interviewed some of the people in both the previous towns Denis had lived. He was 100 percent sure this was his man and that he was guilty as hell but still he waited and watched. Denis lived on a street that backed onto a wooded area so it was easy to stalk his prey at night and learn what he could about the man's habits as well as the neighbors so that he could determine the best way to abduct the son of a bitch.
In the end fate helped him out. Denis had gone for a few beers after work and it was dark as he drove home. Sam stayed well back as he followed along so as not to be spotted but suddenly the truck veered off the empty road with a flat tire. Smoothly pulling off in front of the disabled truck Sam checked his surroundings and found they were in a fairly deserted part of town. Getting out he pulled a ballcap on his head and ambled over asking if he could help. Denis never saw the butt of the gun Sam used on the back of his head, rendering the man unconscious with one blow. Giving another check and seeing everything still deserted Sam dragged the man over to the Impala and quickly dumped him into the trunk before getting back in and driving away.
Stopping at the first payphone he could find that didn't have any security cameras around, Sam made an anonymous call to the police giving them Denis' name and that he was the one abducting the girls. He also told them where to find the bodies before disconnecting and heading out of town. He figured those girls families needed to know what happened to them to get some kind of closure and it would also make it look like Denis had run off so as not to get caught.
About an hour after the abduction Sam started to hear thumping in the back and figured the other man had finally woken up. Pulling off the highway on the first side street he found an old abandoned gas station that he parked behind. Opening the trunk Denis tried to get out but Sam was ready and held him down.
"Let me go asshole or I'm gonna make you so fucking sorry." The man yelled in Sam's face.
Giving him a shot to the side of his face Sam then grabbed his hands and wrestled them together, snapping his cuffs on, then he wrapped the man's feet with tape as well as slapping a piece over his mouth to shut him up. Sam was sweating by this time but he'd fought things a lot stronger and meaner than this terrified human. And he was terrified, it was there in his eyes. Denis might be used to being the one doling it out but he knew what kind of pain the human body could feel.
It was still another hour of driving to reach the warehouse Sam had all set up for his guest. Having to stop for gas on the way Sam pulled over first and showed the man his gun telling him if he made a peep while Sam was filling the tank he would pop the trunk right then and shoot him in the head giving him no chance to live through this. Not that he actually had a chance but hope could breed co-operation.
Still not wanting to take too many chances Sam waited to find a station that seemed pretty empty. No other cars at the pumps and only one car up at the convenience store which could just be an employee since there was no movement through the windows of the store.
Filing the car quickly Sam got back on the road with no hiccups. He heard a few thumps as he started to pull out but there was no one around to hear them so he smiled to himself, cranked up Dean's favourite mix tape and rolled down his window to let the wind blow in.
Opening the big door to the old warehouse, Sam was able to pull the car right inside before sliding the door closed and re-locking it with a chain and paddle lock. Grabbing his gun he opened the trunk and smiled down at his guest.
"Welcome to your new home." He said cheerfully as he cut the tape around the man's ankles and helped him out of the trunk, leaving the cuffs in place.
Denis was trying to talk through the tape sealing his mouth shut so Sam took pleasure in ripping the pseudo gag off, along with quite a few hairs from his stubble. Screaming, Denis' hands shot to his face as he tried to sooth the stinging skin.
"You fucker." He screeched.
"Oh please, you've done a lot worse than ripping a piece of tape off someone's face." Sam deadpanned.
Fear crossed the other man's features and Sam took a moment to push him into the cage he'd built to hold him. Watching the guy fall onto the floor Sam swung the door closed and locked it, slipping the key into his pocket before turning to watch through the bars as Denis got back to his feet.
"What the fuck is this, why'd you take me?" he demanded.
"What, you don't like to be on that side of things?"
"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about asshole." The other man yelled but Sam could see the fear in his eyes.
"Consider this a little payback for all the lives you've ruined and taken. I mean how many people have you outright murdered and gotten away with so far, 5? 6? More that I haven't uncovered yet?"
"You don't know what you're talking about your psycho!"
"Been called that before. Its not true but it's not the first time I've been called that either." Sam shrugged and his nonchalance seemed to rile the other man up even more as he spit more obscenities at Sam.
"So, what are you some kind of Serial killer or something?"
"No. Actually, I'm a monster hunter and I don't normally involve myself in human evil but I need you so I've had to make an exception."
"You're crazy, you gotta know that? Monster hunter? What the fuck does that mean?"
"Don't worry about it, its not really relevant to this situation. All you need to know is I need your help with a very important project."
"I'm not helping you do shit you psycho."
"Don't need your co-operation to get your help. Now it's pretty late and we should both get some sleep, I've left a camp mat and sleeping bag in there for you. There's a bucket in the corner for your bathroom needs as well, and I'll see you in the morning."
Heading back to the impala Sam got his blanket and pillow from where they were stored in the massive trunk and settled down in the back seat. He could have set up a bed or something somewhere in the warehouse but he found a measure of emotional comfort sleeping in the car where he'd spent so much of his life.
Letting memories of him and Dean sleeping on this very seat lull him he felt himself drifting off.
August 1, 2008.
Everything was finally ready. It hadn't been easy smuggling everything into Canada, including a human prisoner and a magically preserved dead body but he'd got it done. Drugging Denis had helped and again, Ruby had been a lot of help. She'd done something at the boarder that got him through without inspection so he'd pulled her into a hard kiss afterwards as a reward for her efforts. He hadn't felt anything himself but she'd sure gotten all worked up.
Sam knew the demon was working some angle here and wasn't just helping out of the goodness of her black heart but he hadn't quite figured it out yet. Maybe the fact that he was damning his soul was getting her off because she sure seemed amped to help him even though he'd given her as little information as possible and hadn't breathed a word of where this was headed. He hadn't even told her what the ritual entailed; too afraid she might have heard of it. All she knew was that he needed an evil human and he wanted to do it in Canada. He didn't mention that this eclipse wouldn't be visible in the US and he wasn't going to take any chances. Therefore, he had decided he better get his ass up to the great white north.
The sight of Ruby's face when Sam had opened the trunk after finally reaching their destination was priceless. Since his preservation spell had the lovely benefit of some sort of essence cloaking she hadn't been able to sense the body at all.
"I should have known this was what you were doing." She muttered as Sam just pushed past her to lift out both Dean's body and the unconscious one of Denis as well.
"Please, you knew. You didn't know how, but you had to have known it was something like this."
"Okay maybe. I don't get it though, how?
"You'll see. Now come on we don't have much time." It was now 3:00 am and he had a lot to accomplish in a short amount of time since the eclipse would be at its peak at 6:21.
"I have one more job for you if you're up to it?" He challenged.
"Oh I'm up for anything Winchester." She said cockily not seeming to realize just how much Sam was playing her. "But what am I getting out of all this?" She asked.
There was something off about her tonight and she was acting squirrely but not enough for him to pin point what was really going on with her.
"Your gonna get what you want. I'll start training as soon as I get Dean back." He thought the demon would jump all over this as she had been trying to get him to do that for so long, but there was something on her face that twisted in Sam's gut. Something wasn't right here.
"You know your brother will never go for it once he's back."
"He won't get a say and Lilith will still need to die. So, are you in or out?" He asked, his fingers curling around the hidden demon blade at his back.
"Fine, what do you need." She pouted as she stepped into his space and rubbed against his side.
"I need a demon. The stuff's in the back of the car that you'll need to summon one. I need to get to work prepping Dean and Denis." Sam turned to walk away but he watched out of the corner of his eye as her eyes turned black before she left to get the box. He was going to have to watch her because he wasn't sure he trusted her even as much as an hour ago.
Since they were in an old hunters cabin that actually had electricity and water Sam was able to use the bath tub to clean both bodies which took longer than he'd wanted. But not only did he need to clean them but then he had to rub a certain concoction of oils into each body which wasn't as easy when Denis started to come out of his drugged slumber.
Not wanting the drugs to cause an unforeseen interference in the magic Sam decided not to dose the man again which made washing his body and rubbing the oil in a lot more awkward. Ruby had gotten fed up with listening to Denis yell obscenities and scream his head off so she'd done something to silence his voice which Sam glared at her for but was secretly grateful.
Ruby was just about to cast her summoning spell when Sam noticed a break in the devils trap she'd made and told her to stop so he could fix it. While she said all the right words Sam's gut told him she wasn't happy he'd noticed that detail and he had to wonder if she wanted the demon to get free and fight them. It would likely delay things if not mess them up entirely and if Sam missed this window he'd have to wait almost a whole year for another solar eclipse.
Painting the floor in the pattern he'd memorised he then lay both bodies in the center, wrapping a white silk scarf around their hands to bind them together. Denis' eyes were filled with terror and even knowing what a vile human being he was Sam couldn't help the pangs of guilt in his gut. Keeping his eyes averted he set up the candles and watched as Ruby performed her spell, summoning an over dressed, stocky and balding, male demon into the trap.
"What is the meaning of this, I was just about to close a deal with a juicy banker." The demon demanded before recognition hit. "Ruby the betrayer and the Winchester. I should have known. Lilith is going to hear about this and flatten both of you."
"Ooooh we're so scared." Ruby taunted while Sam turned back to what he was doing, silently slipping the demon blade into his hand. Somehow he wasn't surprised by Ruby's body going flying and had the demon blade planted firmly in the other demon's chest before he even fully turned Sam's way," Panic set in as he saw the demon bleeding out on the floor but as Ruby came running over spouting lame apologies and swearing she had no idea how the trap broke a calm settled over him. He now knew what he needed to do and in the long run it would help his other problem as well.
"Just gab that bowl and try to get as much blood as possible. We'll just have to try with this." He said. He could tell Ruby was thinking this might hurt the spell and he played up his own worry about it, making sure to look sad and dejected. "I'm going to try anyway." He told the demon as he pulled out his box of spell ingredients and started mixing.
By 6:10 he had everything ready, the eclipse was well under way and he was just waiting for its peak while still trying to keep an eye on Ruby. So far he'd seen two other attempts to thwart the spell and had managed to correct them without calling to attention that he knew what she was doing.
Finally, it was time. "Okay Ruby, one last job." He said as he pulled her to his side. "Then I get Dean back and you get me." He leaned down and kissed her hard pulling back just as she started to respond.
"What do you need Sam?" She asked gazing up at him with some sort of lust in her eyes. Weather it was lust for him, or for power, or for something else he didn't know but did it really matter?
"I'm gonna say the spell and when I nod to you I need you to take this ceremonial dagger and stab Denis here in the heart, leaving the knife embedded there. Then come over here and grab the bowl of demon blood and pour it over Dean's body while I finish the spell."
"Shouldn't you be the one to stab him?" She asked and as of an hour ago he was going to be the one to do it, not caring that it would damn him and go directly against Dean's wishes. But now, now he had a new plan.
Sam figured that while his soul was still gonna be pretty badly stained and he would have to live with his conscience since he did kidnap the man and fully intended for him to be killed. but he'd also treated him well, hadn't tortured him or made him any more uncomfortable than necessary which was more than the man deserved after the lives he'd hurt. After a life spent learning to exterminate evil Sam felt these were things he could live with in order to get his brother back.
"Don't worry about it Ruby, it's probably not even going to work now anyway so just do it, please." Sam pulled out his best little brother whine and was actually a little surprised when the demon rolled her eyes and agreed to be his instrument.
Walking over to the counter Sam began to take all his clothes off while watching Ruby to make sure she didn't do anything else, but she seemed wholly occupied with watching the show he was putting on. Once naked he picked up a special paint he'd made with holy oil and other ingredients called for in the ritual. He pained a symbol on his chest quickly then painted another one on Dean's chest and finally a third on Denis'.
At 6:19 am he started chanting and at 6:20 he nodded to Ruby who plunged the dagger into Denis' heart. Her face filled with euphoria as she watched the blood spurt around the embedded gold dagger. Walking over to Sam he could see her cocksure smile and knew she was enjoying this. Just as his watch hit 6:21 he grabbed her and plunged the demon blade into her heart watching the shock and betrayal on her face as her body fell on top of Dean's body, coating it in her blood while orange sparks lit her up from the inside.
Wind swirled inside the room and a white light began to glow from both bodies. Sam's own body was suddenly feeling strange and his skin started to burn and glow purple as he fell to his knees. Shouting out the final chant the burning got worse and the light became so unbearable that even with his eyes closed and his arm in front of them it felt like his eyes were melting from the burning light.
The symbol on his chest hurt like it was being cut into his skin with a knife and sweat poured from every part of his body. Sam could feel the whipping wind and hear things moving around him but he couldn't see anything for the bright light, then suddenly it all just stopped. The pain was gone and the room was silent except for Sam's loud panting breaths. Then he heard it, a movement, an indrawn breath that wasn't his.
Ripping his arm away from his face Sam opened his eyes and saw the pile of bodies in front of him move, then move again, then Ruby slid off of an alive Dean as he sat up and looked around him. Dean looked terrified and Sam quickly squatted down in front of his brother.
"Dean, hey big brother, its me. I got you, you're okay now."
Dean's eyes were jumping around like they couldn't settle on any one thing and he let out a heartbreaking whimper before scrambling back away from Sam.
"Dean, it's okay. You're not in Hell anymore. I got you out." He tried, but again Dean whimpered and scooted himself into a corner.
"Dean, can you hear me?" Sam tried with his most patient and caring tone of voice.
The other man's eyes continued to bounce around but kept going back to the bodies on the floor. Looking over Sam had to admit it looked pretty bad, he had Denis and Ruby in the middle and the other demon was just rolled over against the wall of the large open room.
"Dean those are all bad guys so don't worry about them. Once I know you're okay I'll take them out back and burn them but right now I need to know you're in there, that you can hear me."
Something cleared a little in Dean's eyes. "S-ammy?" he croaked out.
"Yeah Dean, its me. It's Sammy and you're back here with me." Sam scooted a little closer so that he could reach out and touch but held back, trying to let Dean have space to come to terms with things. Sam had no idea what was going on in his head but since he'd been in hell it was likely pretty bad.
"H-home?" Dean stuttered.
"Yes Dean, home. I brought you home." Relief washed over those handsome features and suddenly Sam was grabbed and hauled into Dean's arms. "Sam." He breathed into the side of the younger man's neck as they both broke down in tears.
August 2008
They spent the whole week following Dean's resurrection at the cabin in Canada. Sam eventually left Dean alone to go and burn the bodies and then they spent the rest of the time just letting Dean acclimate to being alive again. The older brother swore he didn't remember Hell but from the nightmares that constantly woke them and the guilty furtive look in the older man's eyes Sam figured he was lying. Dean was likely either trying to protect Sam from the knowledge of what had happened down there or the older man couldn't face it himself so in either case Sam decided to leave it for a bit. Eventually he'd press the issue and get Dean to open up but for now it was enough to have him back.
Crossing back into the US exactly one week later they headed straight to Bobby's. Dean was still pretty skittish and loud noises startled him as well as too much noise or commotion so they took it easy and stuck to back roads and less travelled areas with Sam doing most of the driving.
They were a day out from Singer Salvage when Dean finally brought up what Sam had done to get him out.
"You used the ritual didn't you?" He said as he stared out over a lake they were parked beside since Sam had insisted on a rest break.
"I had to Dean. It was the only way."
"So you murdered someone." He said gravely.
"No, actually Ruby murdered an evil son of a bitch who not only beat on women but had murdered multiple people over the years. Then I killed Ruby."
Dean looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. "You killed Ruby? Thought she was your new BFF or some shit."
"I realized she wasn't really on my side. I still don't know what angle she was playing but she tried to mess up the ritual. I was going to use another demon but when she let him loose behind my back I killed it and then tricked her. I had her kill the man then I stabbed her with the demon blade. She never saw it coming."
"Well I have to say I'm proud of you for that at least. I knew that bitch was lying to us, knew it."
"Yeah, well, you were right. I wish I could have at least found out what her plan was but it doesn't matter now."
"No, guess not."
"Are you… angry with me?"
"I should be. You did exactly what I told you not to and I have no idea what this means for your soul but… I… Sam, I couldn't take much more."
This was the first time Dean had said anything to contradict his assertion that he didn't remember anything so Sam stayed quiet to let him talk if he wanted to.
"Time, it was different down there. It was longer. A lot longer."
Sam got up and walked around the table, coming to sit beside Dean facing out at the lake and just let his shoulder and arm rest against his brother's in support. "How long do you think it was."
"Years and years. I think it was somewhere in the mid twenties maybe close to thirty."
Sams stomach clenched. It had been bad enough thinking his brother spent months in hell but to hear he spent decades was crushing, but he needed to hold it in and let Dean talk to get some of the poison out into the open.
"The- the things they did to me Sammy. There aren't words." A tear rolled down the older brother's cheek and Sam slipped his hand into Dean's lap and laced his fingers with the other mans. "And the kicker, the kicker was at the end of every day I would suddenly be whole again and they would ask if I was ready to end it all. They said if I picked up the blade and started the torture on other souls, they would let me off the rack." Tears were flowing pretty heavily now.
"And everyday I would tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine. But I don't know Sam, I don't know how much longer I could hold out. I was gonna break, it was only a matter of when."
"I'm so sorry Dean. I'm sorry I didn't find a way to stop it all from happening and I'm sorry I couldn't do the ritual sooner but it had to be a solar eclipse so I had to wait. God, it killed me every day to think of you down there and what they were doing to you but this was the only way I could find other than to just accept my powers, drink demon blood like Ruby wanted and walk into hell as its ruler. Which trust me if this failed that was my backup"
"What? You're kidding me right? Demon blood?"
"Sorta kidding. I mean Ruby was trying to get me to drink her blood, she said it would make me stronger, help focus my powers so that I'd be able to kill Lilith."
"Sammy, TELL ME YOU DIDN'T EVER DO IT?" Dean almost roared. It was the most straight up emotion Sam had seen from Dean since he came back and his heart actually sung from hearing Dean sound more like the old Dean again.
"No I didn't. I mean, I might have been tempted if it was the only way to get you back but I had this plan so I said no. Not gonna lie, if I didn't have this to hold on to I don't know how far I would've gone."
"Damnit Sam. I told you not to go messing with that powers shit. Did you not listen to anything I said?"
Sam smiled at the big brother lecture. "Yeah, but you weren't here so if you want to keep me in line you're just gonna have to make sure you stick around to watch out for me."
Dean stared into Sam's eyes and gripped his hand tighter. "That's the plan. No more going anywhere without the other."
"Hey, lets not go overboard, I'm sure I can grab food without you and I sure as shit don't wanna watch you with all your hookups so maybe not everywhere, just all the important places."
Something flicked in Dean's eyes but he pasted a smile on his face and nodded his head. "Deal. You and me kid. No more leaving."
"No more leaving Dean." Sam reiterated.
September 2008
They spent three weeks at Bobby's to assure the old man that they were okay and to give Dean more time to settle back into a world with more than just the two of them in the Canadian wilderness. Sam could see how hard it was for his brother at first and did what he could to help Dean feel more normal. He made it clear that he was there if Dean wanted to talk more but also doesn't push him to reveal any more than he already had.
Dean still startled easily and shied away from touch from anyone but Sam, but he also wasn't looking so terrified and haunted all the time now which was a bit of a relief. They watched tv and Dean caught up on the episodes of Dr. Sexy he missed and worked on cars for Bobby during the day while drinking way too heavily at night, but its more than Sam could have hoped for so he figured he'd take it.
The nightmares were killing them both since Dean's screams woke Sam up as well and neither could sleep afterwards while laying in their own beds on each side of the room they shared. But then one night Sam got up and went across the room so that he could actually touch his brother and they were both surprised when they woke up in the morning, Sam sitting on the floor, his hand still on Dean's shoulder.
The next night when Sam went into the bedroom Dean scooted over and Sam slipped in beside him without a word between them. Of course, the little bed was much too small and they jostled around trying to get comfortable, but it was the first night Dean didn't wake up screaming since he'd been back so they both silently chalked it up in the win column. The following night Sam headed up first and moved the nightstand that was between the two beds out of the way and pushed them together. When Dean came in a few minutes later his lips twitched up at the corner and he gave a nod but otherwise they didn't acknowledge the new sleeping arrangements.
All of Dean's nightmares didn't magically disappear with Sam next to him but there was a marked improvement, plus if he started mumbling or thrashing around Sam just had to reach out to him and it seemed to settle the other man down without it escalating into a full-blown nightmare. They were both appreciating getting more sleep and Sam could see that they were both starting to lose the dark circles under their eyes.
Declaring it was time to get back on the horse Dean found them a salt and burn a few hundred miles away so they packed up and promised Bobby they'd be back soon before they hit the open road. Dean seemed to relax more behind the wheel of his beloved car and the pavement flying by under her tires. Sam wondered if in another life Dean would have made a great trucker since he always seemed to find some kind of inner peace on the open road.
The case went as well as they usually did, which means that they figured it out relatively easily but got thrown around quite a bit before lighting the sucker up. Dean let out a loud cackle like he was actually enjoying himself when he dropped the matches in the grave and the ghost that was attacking Sam burned out of existence.
Thankfully there were no serious injuries but Sam did need a couple stiches from a cut on his arm. Dean seemed to struggle a bit with the needle but got through it with some pretty damn professional looking sutures. Grabbing the bottle of vodka he'd used to clean the wound Dean took a large drink and offered it to Sam who thought why not and tipped back a good portion of it as well.
From there they decided to just hit the road the next day and wonder until they found something else. They spent most of the days driving and by evening would get a room and find a bar or pub if there was one around for Dean to practice up his pool sharking on Sam. From Dean's perspective it'd been decades since he'd played and felt rusty, but from what Sam could see the man was as deadly with a cue stick as ever.
On the fourth night in such a place Dean got a little too flirty with a Blond that had been eyeing him up like candy and her boyfriend came storming over from the other side of the room to get all up in Dean's face. Old blustery Dean would have got right back up in this dude's face and told him if he was satisfying his girl she wouldn't be sniffing after something better but this Dean backed off and dragged Sam out of there. It was really weird and even though Sam knew Dean wasn't actually afraid of the guy he wondered what was going on inside his brothers head.
"That guy was getting really pushy Dean, you know you didn't have to just take it right?"
"Course I know, pft." The older man blustered and tried to straighten his shoulders back and look like the old Dean. "I just didn't feel like getting into it tonight that's all." Dean headed into the bathroom, firmly closing the door behind him and Sam heard the shower start up a few minutes later.
They found a case in Tennessee which turned out to be yet another ghost but this one was possessing women and making them kill their husbands or boyfriends. It was a bit more work to uncover the information they needed but in the end Sam found the name. The problem came when they went to burn the bones and Dean got possessed and tried to kill him, which was weird because she only went after a person's romantic partner. She had never harmed anyone else in life or death.
Thankfully the iron bar snapped the ghost out of Dean's body and they got her burned good and proper. Dean was guilt ridden afterwards no matter how many times Sam reminded him he was possessed by a ghost and it wasn't his fault. It wasn't till after Sam brought up his own possession by Meg and shooting Dean in the shoulder that the older man relented and seemed to let it go. But that night he pulled Sam into his arms when he thought the younger man was asleep and held on the rest of the night. Sam let him.
October 2008
Travis, an old hunter buddy of their fathers called with a Rugaru hunt that of course went south. First Dean overidentified with the man turning into a monster and with his own self loathing driving him sided with Travis that it needed to be put down. Sam had to really fight to get Dean to let him talk to the man and explain things. It all would have worked out too if Travis didn't go behind their backs to try and kill the man, causing him to full on turn. But afterwards Sam still tried to show Dean that there had been a choice, that he didn't have to become a monster.
That hunt was followed up by a shapeshifter in Pennsylvania who took on the form of all the classic monster movie villains. Dean actually seemed buoyed during the case and partook in the beer and festivities happening for Oktoberfest. However, once the case was over and Sam was laying alone in bed for the first time in a month it felt weird. He should be happy Dean was out with Jamie getting de-virginized but he wasn't, and he's not sure what his problem was. Dean deserved this and Jamie seemed really nice. Plus, this is the most like his old self his brother had been since Sam brought him back. But on the other hand its also the first time he was getting something he needs from someone other than Sam.
This line of thinking could only lead to places Sam was not prepared to deal with so he forcibly pushed thoughts of his brother's current activities out of his head and turned to looking at the bigger picture of things he could be doing to help Dean get back to himself. Eventually he fell asleep but it was fitful and unsatisfying until around dawn when he felt the bed dip and Dean's arm go around him.
The ghost sickness case seemed almost comical with the way Dean acted while infected but in the end it actually knocked them both back a bit thinking about the very real fears that Dean was still grappling with as well as the looming threat of Lilith that they still hadn't even addressed.
After that Dean's nightmares ramped up again and they ended up with Sam wrapped around Dean each night while Dean shook and sometimes silently sobbed afterwards. Neither of them talked much and never mentioned any of this during the day but Sam did notice that Dean kept him within arms reach for a while again.
November 2008
They headed back to Bobby's for a bit to regroup and check in and it was nice to see their old dynamic was back to the way it was before Dean's death (and what Sam had done to bring him back). They pushed their beds back together and Bobby pretended not to notice not only that but how touchy feeling they'd gotten with each other. It was like now that Sam was allowed to touch at night he couldn't seem to stop touching during the day either. He just felt… better, when he could feel Dean pressed against his side or under his hands. It also seemed to have a calming affect on his brother so Sam just followed his instincts.
When they headed out to check out a ghost haunting the women's health club shower in Concrete Washington Sam thought it would just be another run of the mill Salt and Burn but things took an unexpected turn and it ended up being a case full of wishes. Sam knew what he'd wish for if given a chance at a consequence free one, but he lied about it to his brother when asked. He said he would wish for Lilith's head on a platter but in reality its that Dean never made the deal. Weather that is Sam never died prompting Dean to run to the crossroads or if Dean could have just let Sam go he doesn't really care as long as Dean never died and went to hell. He would give anything for that and it still killed him inside that he never found a way out in time.
After that they hunted a werewolf that turned out to be three and they almost thought they bit off more than they could chew, but in the end Dean killed two of them and Sam got the last before it could get Dean, leaving them cut up and battered but not bit; so all in all it went in the win column.
Dean hadn't been out picking up any women since Jamie and they'd been laying pretty low so Sam suggested celebrating in Dean's favourite way, beers in a bar. Twice Dean turned away an interested girl before Sam made note of it, which Dean claimed he just wasn't in the mood for. Inside Sam was smiling but he tried not to let his happiness show, taking a long drink instead. As they were leaving Dean held the door for him making Sam's heart jump in his chest even though he had no idea what all this meant. Dean was probably just tired and being nice because… well just because.
December 2008
A locked room murder took the boys to Nebraska which turned all kinds of fucked up when they eventually figured out that it was not even a supernatural case. Those poor kids were locked away in the walls and under the house so maybe their creepizoid grandfather/father deserved their wrath. Unfortunately, the new family that had moved in did not and Sam knew him and Dean were both carrying some guilt about good ol' Uncle Ted.
Later that night when they stopped at the next motel they both turned in early but lay facing each other in bed and just talked like they hadn't in a really long time. Dean's memories were a bit fuzzier on some things after being away for almost 30 years so they told stories from when they were kids and Sam filled in the parts Dean didn't remember anymore. They ended up talking until dawn and then sleeping till noon the next day. Deciding they might as well stay another night they looked around town and found some touristy things to do and just had fun in a way neither of them had in a really long time.
For Christmas it took some work but Sam was able to sneak out and buy a bunch of decorations which he hid and waited till Dean left to go get beer and food before rushing around and setting everything up. Last year all Dean had wanted to do was celebrate and it had been so hard for Sam to do with Dean's clock ticking down, but this year they had something to celebrate and he intended to do it up right.
Dean's face showed how shocked, then touched, he was when he walked into the room. His eyes jumped from the decorations and lights around the room to the little tree decorated again with stuff from the gas station as well as a string of lights. Under the tree Sam had placed his newspaper wrapped gift and he already had a carton of storebought eggnog sitting on the table with two plastic cups.
"Merry Christmas Dean." He said.
"It's not Christmas till tomorrow." Dean replied, warmth making his voice thick and gravelly.
"Well aren't the decorations supposed to go up before Christmas anyway?"
"Yeah guess so. Oh here…" Dean set his beer and food bags down and went to his duffle pulling out a similarly wrapped gift and placing it under the tree.
The rest of the night was spent playing cards and drinking wildly spiked eggnog while they laughed so hard at one point Dean fell off his chair and Sam helped him up and over to the bed, declaring them both drunk and saying they needed to sleep it off. Both of their laughter died out as they stared into each others eyes and swayed a bit closer. Sam's heart was rabbiting in his chest and his stomach was so twisted up he though he might throw up. Unfortunately, Dean beat him to it and suddenly bolted for the washroom where he proceeded to relieve himself of some of the alcohol sloshing around in his stomach.
By the time he came back whatever spell that had overtaken them was broken and they were back to their normal brotherly banter.
New Years Eve 2008
After Christmas the boys headed Bobby's way and stopped in for a night before heading to North Dakota for what turned out to be nothing. They then headed towards Michigan for what looked like witches but got waylaid by a massive snowstorm that trapped them for two days before the roads were safe to travel again. Unfortunately, they barely made it to the next town and yet another snowstorm hit so here they were, set up in a pretty decent motel for a change just waiting for better weather to hit the road the next day.
Sam braved the icy wind and hit up the store to get snacks and beer plus he stopped and got them some nice takeout from one of the few restaurants actually open. Dean ranted about the weather for a while and that people could be dying while they were stuck in bumfuck nowhere, snowed in, but Sam was able to calm him down and get him loosened up with a couple beers.
Settling in against the headboard of their king bed, since they didn't even bother with two anymore, Dean found Die Hard on tv and they settled in. Die Hard 2 followed the first so they kept watching and when it was finally time they turned the tv over to watch the ball drop in New York. As the last few seconds of the year counted down Dean turned to Sam like he wanted to say something and the air between them became charged with tension. Sam could see in his brother's eyes the same things he was feeling so he leaned in and captured those perfect lips in a soft kiss.
Freezing for a moment Dean didn't move but then his whole body relaxed and he sank into the kiss allowing Sam to deepen it and wrap his arms around the shorter man. Kissing Dean was like everything in his life slotting into place and the sense of rightness that washed over Sam stunned him. In his head he knew this should feel wrong, it was incest and Dean was his brother in every sense of the word, but it was also the most natural thing in the world. It felt like everything in his whole life had been leading up to this moment.
Dean let out a moan and pulled Sam fully against him which had Sam's dick almost fully hard and it hadn't even been touched yet. Trying to fix that he rolled his brother onto his back, slotted himself between his legs and rubbed their bulges against each other, causing them to break off from the kiss and gasp at how incredible that felt. Suddenly they were both in a rush, Sam sat back to let Dean up so they could rip at each others clothing, racing to get it all out of the way of their grabby hands.
The need to touch and be touched had never been so intense in his life and Sam gripped, licked and nipped at every bit of flesh that was unveiled to his hungry eyes while letting Dean do the same to him. "Fuck Sammy." Dean whined when Sam finally got his hand on Dean's gorgeous dick. It was fat and straight with a gently weeping head that actually made Sam's mouth water with the thought of it in his mouth.
Never in his life had Sam wanted to handle another guys junk before but with Dean it was different, this was a part of Dean's body and he wanted to make his brother feel amazing. He wanted to touch him and drive him over the edge over and over and never stop.
Planting his free hand in the middle of the older man's chest Sam pushed him back against the pillows and bent down to run the tip of his nose up the underside of Dean's cock, breathing in the musky scent as he went. Dean smelled of home and comfort and the sweat of two boys curled up together in the back seat of the car trying to sleep on a hot summer night.
Needing to taste he licked the beads of precum from the tip and rolled them around on his tongue, taking in the bitter taste but loving it because it was the taste of Dean so it was the best taste in the world. Parting his lips Sam sucked the head into his wet mouth and felt his own dick twitch at the sound his brother let out while arching his back on the bed.
Sam found it was harder than he though to get the thick cock down his throat and kept choking himself till he finally settled for bobbing on the few inches he could handle and using his hand on the rest. But in his head he vowed to practice until he could get the whole thing in there, needing to make this as amazing as possible for his brother and already knowing once was never going to be enough.
They had barely even started and he was already addicted to the sounds of his Dean's panting breath and soft moans mixed with in with the 'Sammy please,' and the 'oh God's'. Plus, the salty taste of the other man's tender skin and the unique flavour of the precum leaking in his mouth were things he was never giving up.
Dean's hips started to buck up and the older man laced his fingers in Sam's hair and pulled to get him to let up. "Fuck, gonna make me cum."
"Isn't that the point?" Sam snarked.
Dean let out a fond chuckle. "You're planning to kill me with this aren't you?"
Sticking his tongue out Sam made a show of giving a long lick from root to tip before pulling back to answer. "No, but if this is the way we go, then so be it."
Sam saw the way the 'we' landed as Dean's eyes lit up with even more love and devotion. "Get up here and show me what you got sasquatch." The older man teased as he parted his legs further.
"You sure, cause I don't mind trying the bottom if you want."
"Next time I'll rail that ass of yours till you can't walk but now, this first time, I wanna feel you become part of me." The levity fled as they started at each other, eyes full of emotion and so much unsaid feeling.
Sam thought he finally understood what Dean was saying and if he had let himself think of it before now he realized this wasn't new. Maybe the sex part of it was but Dean had been trying for a long time to hold Sam so close they could somehow merge into one being. Whether that was from the fear of Sam leaving him again like with Stanford or Cold Oak or if it was from something else Sam didn't know. All he knew was that it had always been there as far back as he could remember.
Dean had his hand wrapped around Sam's dick and it felt like fire was consuming his skin as he couldn't help bucking into the strokes before knocking Dean's hand off. "Where's your lube?" He asked as he knew his brother usually carried it.
Following the other man's direction Sam scooted off the bed and dug in the side pocket till he found a half full bottle of Lube and a strip of condoms. Dean tried to argue the condoms since he said he'd been safe with Jamie and that was his only hookup since his last health check but Sam explained that for this first time the rubber would help both physically and with cleanup. Dean blushed at the explanation and nodded his head. Grabbing the strip Dean pulled one off and opened it while Sam slicked up his fingers and started rubbing at Dean's hole.
Back in school him and Jess had tried this one time after hearing friends rave about it but had found it a lot of extra work when the regular sex was just as good, but since Dean didn't have a cunt he was gonna have to work with the equipment his brother did have.
Dean's hands were gripping the sheets and his dick started to flag a bit when Sam breached him with the first finger and started to work him open so he leaned down and bit his brother's nipple before rolling the nub between his lips, and suckling. Dean cried out and arched his back to press the sensitive bud further into Sam's mouth.
"Come on Sammy, I'm ready." Dean panted.
"Trust me, you're not. At least let me give you one more." He said as he started to work a second finger in along the first. Dean stiffened up again so Sam went to work on the other nipple, loving how far gone Dean already looked.
It didn't take long and Dean was moving himself on Sam's fingers trying to get them in further, "More Sammy… Come on…" he begged but Sam didn't want to hurt the older man so he kept at it, opening him up and searching for that special spot. He found it and was quite satisfied to see his brother almost come right off the bed.
"What the fuck?" Dean yelled.
"Huh, looks like you've got a pretty sensitive prostate." Sam smirked.
"Jesus Christ Sammy! How come I didn't know about that, why aren't they telling us about how the fuck good that feels?"
"To much macho bullshit and homophobia maybe, but yeah every man needs to at least try a little prostate massage once."
Dean was panting hard now as Sam kept rubbing over that spot. "You… You ah, ever?"
"I might have checked myself out a few times in college. I don't know if I'm as sensitive down there as you seem to be but yeah it felt good."
"You ever, with a guy?"
"No. I've never been attracted to another guy. Well except you." Sam replied honestly.
"So you're Dean sexual then?" the older brother quipped while still moving his hips trying to ride Sam's fingers.
"I guess I am, what about you?" He asked as he worked a third finger in.
Dean didn't seem able to talk for a moment but when he could his voice was like gravel. "Same. At least while alive, I mean. In hell, well they used a knife on me there so I didn't feel any kind of pleasure at all." They both froze for a second at the hastily dropped bombshell but then Dean started moving again. "I also seem to be Sam sexual, although, damn, maybe I should have at least tried this sooner. Fuck Sam, I need you in me now."
Pulling his hand free Sam wiped it on a shirt that was laying on the bed beside them. Then grabbing the bottle again he applied more lube to his already sheathed cock and then even more directly on Dean's fluttering hole.
"God, finally!" Dean breathed as Sam got into position and lined himself up. Pausing he looked Dean in the eye trying to convey how much this meant to him as he slowly penetrated the older brother's body. Dean clenched up around him and Sam had to coax him to relax before he was able to continue pushing inside the intense white-hot heat of Dean's passage.
"Oh Goooooooddddd!" Dean almost wailed as his legs came up around Sam's back, feet locking together and pushing Sam further in.
If Sam had ever wondered what Heaven felt like he figured this was it. Dean's body wrapped tightly around him, sucking his dick into the hottest, tightest, passage he'd ever felt while his skin tingled and intense desire burned through his body. But it was more than the physical sensations, the emotional high from joining with the person he loved most in this world was overwhelming and his chest felt ripped open, his heart raw and aching.
Dropping his forehead against his brother's brow Sam was finally fully seated. Balls squished up against Dean's ass Sam just waited there for the older man's body to adjust to the intrusion but also for them to be able to just take in this moment. Sam was inside of Dean. Inside him. A single tear leaked out of the older man's eye as they just stared at each other, out of focus for how close they were right now.
"I love you so much Dean." Sam couldn't help but confess.
A gentle smile appeared on Dean's face as his hand came up and brushed Sam's hair back behind his ear. "Love you too little brother. Now would you please fuck me."
Laughing Sam moved his hips causing Dean to moan again which was music to Sam's ears. He began with a slow and short thrust, just trying to open Dean up more and get him used to the feel of Sam's dick in his ass but Dean being the impatient son of a bitch he was got demanding really fast, until Sam was railing him into the mattress so hard the headboard was banging on the motel room wall.
"That's it Sammy, give it to me good!" Dean cried out as Sam lifted his leg up to hook over Sam's shoulder, effectively bending his brother in half so that he could fuck into him harder and deeper. "Fuck Yes! Harder baby, make them all hear how well you fuck me."
Sweat ran down the sides of Sam's face and back dripping down onto the other man but instead of grossing him out like it did a lot of women Dean seemed to get off on it an egged him on to work up even more sweat.
Dean's hands were roaming everywhere, grabbing and digging in one minute then playing in the pools of sweat that were forming another, until they worked their way down to Sam's ass. Dean dug his nails in hard, causing Sam to lose his rhythm but also buck even harder into the older man's body.
"Fuck Dean, fuck!" He growled causing the older brother to look incredibly smug.
"Come on Sammy. I know you got more than this, I won't break so let that beast inside you loose."
Sam felt something let go, something he'd always been holding back and he practically attacked the older man with his dick and his teeth, leaving more than one bite mark on his shoulder as the sound of slapping skin and thumping headboard blotted out all other sound. At least until Dean screamed when Sam started really nailing his prostate on every thrust. Then Dean tensed up, cried out Sam's name, and shot strips of cum all the way up to his own face.
Seeing the white, sticky mess hit his brother's beautiful face broke that last barrier and Sam's orgasm hit him like a freight train, decimating him in a way nothing else ever had and rebuilding him into a whole new animal.
Slowing down and finally collapsing down beside the other man they were both silent as they tried to catch their breaths and make sense of just what had happened. That had been so much more than just sex and it was clear Dean felt the same way.
"Holy fucking shit. What was that?" Dean ground out almost as though he was pulling the words from Sam's own head.
"I don't know but why the fuck haven't we been doing this all along." Sam replied.
"Well, you went away to school, then died, then I died, so we've been a little busy." The other man chuckled at himself.
"Promise me Dean, promise we hold on to this. Whatever the fuck it is, we hold onto it."
Dean leaned up on an elbow to look over at Sam. "Yeah Sam, I promise. Whatever happens or comes at us, this, me and you, this is what matters. Happy New Year Sammy."
Sam leaned up and placed a soft kiss on Dean's lips. He knew nothing was going to be easy; Dean still had a lot of trauma from Hell and they hadn't even started to deal with the Lilith problem yet, which Sam knew was hanging over them like the sward of Damascus. But no matter what happened he had Dean, and Dean had him. That was all they'd really ever needed.
"Happy New Year Dean."
Fin.