CONTENT WARNING: Light violence, sexual/dark innuendo

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16: SIXTY SECONDS

Dumbfounded.

Jack stood, dumbfounded, by the table, his mouth hanging open in shock. What had he done wrong? It—b-but the—it was working. It had been WORKING! She'd been so happy! And now—

Ca-CHUNK.

The door was opening behind him. Gasping, Jack snapped back into focus, leaping away from the table and whipping around as the last of her icy capelet whisked out of the room.

"ELSA!" he yelled, grabbing his staff and running after her, "WAIT!I SWEAR I was only trying to-OOF!"

Something suddenly slammed into his back, and Jack yelped as his body collapsed forward onto the ground, the staff flying from his hand and skittering across the floorboards. Gasping for breath and struggling to gather his senses, he tried to push himself up, only to have his cheek be slammed back down again into the wood.

Pinning him onto the floor, King Kristoff leaned forward to Jack's ear.

"Not so fast there, Frost," he said icily, wrenching Jack's arms behind his back. "Anna? Get my scarf. And a chair."

"What are you—URK!"

Jack gagged as the Commoner King yanked him back by his hood, pulling him up onto his knees. Holding Jack's wrists with one hand and his shoulder with the other, Kristoff then jerked the Youngest Guardian onto his feet, spinning him around and harshly pushing him forward across the room to where Queen Anna was standing behind a pulled-out chair.

"B-b-but she was so happy!" Jack sputtered, tripping as Kristoff spun him around, shoving him into the chair, "She—she was having so much fun!"

"Yeah, I'll bet you have that effect on a lot of girls," Kristoff snarled, holding Jack's wrists down as Anna threw the wet scarf over his arms. "But you wanna know something? Mister Fun Times?"

Anna yanked the scarf tight, binding Jack to the chair and stepping away. Cowering into the seat, Jack's eyes widened as Elsa's brother-in-law let go of his arms, violently grabbing his shoulders and glaring into his eyes.

"Not. In MY. FAMILY," King Kristoff gritted.

Jack's eyes widened as Kristoff shoved him back, the chair squeaking as it shifted on the floorboards.

"Kristoff?" Queen Anna asked. "Can I—"

"Yeah," he nodded, not taking his eyes off of Jack. "Go make sure Elsa's okay. And take Sven with you. While I deal with this crook here."

Jack's eyes narrowed. "What did you call me?"

"Hey!" Anna snapped.

Jack looked to her. She was standing by the door, holding the reindeer. Drawing herself up, she glared.

"What I said about marrying my sister," she stammered, "I—I take it back. I take it all back, you manipulative—you jerk!"

"Anna, I—!"

SLAM!

Jack struggled against the scarf in frustration, dropping his head forward to look down to his lap. Man, it was knotted tight.

The sound of Kristoff stomping across the room made him jolt, and he looked up. Jack gasped in horror as Elsa's brother-in-law stopped, bending down and picking up his staff.

"Don't—!"

"—Yeah, pretty nice stick ya got here, Frost," Kristoff snapped, picking up the gnarled shepherd's crook and inspecting it. "Lot of notches somewhere on this thing, right? Thought the Snow Queen would make a nice little addition, huh?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

King Kristoff glared.

"Oh…" he enunciated coldly, "I think you know exactly what I'm talking about."

Jack's face went pale.

Before he could respond, Kristoff set his jaw, turning away with the staff in his hand. "Elsa's in my family. And if there's one thing that the rock trolls taught me, it's that family makes you who are," Kristoff called over his shoulder, determinately pacing across the room for the pile of wet clothes. "So, I don't care who you are, Blizzard Boy. You mess with my family, you mess with me."

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on…"

Elsa's brother-in-law dropped the shepherd's crook behind the pile of clothes, and then crouched down, digging out an enormous coat and beginning to search through its pockets. Swallowing hard, Jack Frost leaned forward against the scarf, staring at him with disbelief.

"Are you trying to tell me," he squeaked, "That your center—is family?"

"Family is everything," Kristoff snapped, not turning around.

A look of horror swept over Jack's features.

"Whose CENTER is FAMILY?!"he sputtered.

The Snow Queen's brother-in-law didn't respond, rummaging through the pockets while Jack's mind raced. Family. Of course it was. Meaning, that Elsa's brother-in-law was probably the most brotherly Big Brother that she could possibly have. Which would make Jack the—

Oh, no.

The realization falling onto him like an anvil, Jack frantically started squirming against the scarf, the chair squeaking and straining as it scooted forward across the wood.

I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead…

Having found what he was looking for, Kristoff straightened up from the ground, and Jack froze, his pounding heart leaping into his throat. As the Commoner King turned around, walking back towards him across the room, Jack saw that there was—instead of an ice pick, or some other kind of expected weapon—something small in his hand.

Kristoff reached the table in front of Jack, whirling around to face it and slamming the object down onto its surface.

WHAM.

He turned back around.

"See this? Frost?" Kristoff spat, gesturing to the glistening object as he leaned back against the table. "Know what it is?"

"Yeah," Jack said carefully. "It's an hourglass."

"Close. It's a minute-glass," Kristoff glared, "And it will measure out exactly sixty seconds, when I turn it over."

Jack looked down, squirming against the scarf. It was only then, with the colored light of sunrise dancing across the wooden floor, that he realized he was tied to a chair with its back up against the pane of an enormous floor-to-ceiling window.

He looked back up to Kristoff.

"Fascinating," Jack said. "What's your point?"

"That you'd better start talking," King Kristoff snapped, picking up the minute glass and gesturing to him with it, "Because I'm the closest thing to a brother that Elsa has. So, sixty seconds is exactly how much time that you've got to convince me not to pick up that chair you're sitting in and throw it through the window."

Flipping it over, Kristoff slammed the minute-glass back down onto the table again.

WHAM.

Jack's heart leapt into his throat as the golden-colored grains of sand begin to fall, and he shook his head vigorously, sucking in his breath.

"Okay, the thing with the necklace," Jack stammered, "Yes. I put a little magic into it. But it wasn't supposed to be weird, or anything. I mean, it's the same stuff I use with kids—it's just fun. Not creepy. I had no idea she'd react like that. I've never seen anyone react to it like that—actually—it was sort of funny, when you think about it—"

King Kristoff set his jaw, glaring into Jack's eyes. He then reached over to the minute-glass.

Shake shake shake shake shake.

Jack jumped, sucking in his breath again.

"And I'll admit that I've never tried putting it into a necklace before," he blurted, "I mean, maybe I overdid it—"

"—THIRTY SECONDS, FROST."

"I just didn't want her to be freaking out!" Jack cried desperately, "She has the first suitors coming today, and she didn't invite them, the Council did, because they're jerks, and I know that she was terrified! I gave her the necklace because I wanted to help her stay calm—"

"—TEN SECONDS!" King Kristoff gritted, and he paced over to Jack, grabbing the back of the chair and leaning it onto its two back legs. Feeling the wood creaking beneath him, Jack cowered into the seat, squeezing his eyes shut as Elsa's brother-in-law threateningly pulled back his enormous fist.

"I GAVE ELSA THE STUPID NECKLACE BECAUSE SHE WAS SCARED AND I DIDN'T WANT HER TO BE SCARED BECAUSE I HATE IT WHEN SHE LOOKS SCARED BECAUSE I LOVE HER, YOU MORON!" he screamed.

The last grain of sand fell into the bottom of the minute-glass.

Jack, still tied up and leaned back in the chair, winced, waiting for the blow. After a few moments, there was a long, creaking sound, and the chair fell forward again onto the floor with a thud.

Jack cautiously opened his eyes, gasping for breath, his chest rising up and down rapidly against the scarf. Kristoff slowly lowered his fist.

They sat in silence, staring at each other in disbelief. Jack watched as the Commoner King then pulled in a long breath, snatching up the tiny hourglass and walking to the pile of wet clothes again.

"Look," Jack started, choosing his words carefully, "I know that the thing with the necklace looks really bad. Okay?" He then shook his head, taking in another breath. "But I was honestly just trying to help. She's been freaking out about this suitor thing ever since she found out about it, and—well, I mean, why wouldn't she?"

King Kristoff said nothing, pulling up his jacket from the pile and beginning to brush off the melted beads of water from its outer weave. Jack strained against the scarf again.

"I really wasn't expecting her to have that kind of reaction to it!" Jack begged, "I mean, no one's ever gone—well—loopy with it before! I swear the magic isn't like some kind of drug, or anything. I just thought that it might help her to have a little fun through this whole—mess."

Kristoff remained silent, slowly walking back over to the table and to Jack, pulling on the still-damp jacket over his stained shirt. Jack blew a chunk of white hair out of his face, leaning forward as far as he could, his eyes pleading again.

"I would—never—mean to hurt Elsa," he choked. "You have to believe me!"

Kristoff looked back up into Jack's face.

"I do," he said quietly.

Jack closed his eyes, letting out his breath slowly as he leaned his head back onto the chair. He then suddenly felt the scarf loosen on his arms and lap, and snapped his head up to realize that Kristoff was untying him.

"You really do love Elsa," Kristoff said quietly. "Don't you?"

"Well—you know," Jack laughed nervously, feeling the scarf fall off of his left arm, "As a friend."

Kristoff stepped away from the chair.

"A… friend," he repeated slowly.

"She's a girl with ice powers," Jack admitted.

Kristoff pulled the scarf off of Jack's body and began to wind it around his hand, a hint of a smirk tugging at the edge of his mouth.

"Seriously?" he drawled.

A look of confusion swept over Jack's face.

"She's a girl," he enunciated, trying again. "With. ICE. POWERS."

King Kristoff grinned, visibly retraining from laughing.

"Not really all that picky, are you?" he chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing," Kristoff shrugged, turning and walking towards the table again, "I was just—kind of thinking you'd come up with adjectives, or something. You know—besides female? Like, sweet, or smart, or beautiful—"

"—Well, yeah! I mean, of course she is!" Jack exclaimed, getting onto his feet as Kristoff placed the wrapped-up scarf on the table, "I—I think it's pretty clear that Elsa's all of that. Just—obviously."

"Oh, yes, obviously."

"Seriously!" Jack protested, "I mean—she's sweet, and selfless, and she's trying to be a good queen, and she really cares about her people, and she's got brains, and passion, and a REALLY great bod—"

Kristoff's eyebrows jumped, and Jack abruptly cut himself off.

"Body—of work," he choked.

King Kristoff crossed his arms over his chest.

"Uh-huh," he enunciated.

"Her—body of work. Like, the reforms and—stuff," Jack stammered, his mind racing in frantic desperation. "I find her—uh—tax code—to be, uh, very inspiring."

Biting his lip, Jack swallowed hard, looking away from Kristoff's eyes.

Tax Code. Smooth, he thought to himself. Idiot.

Kristoff uncrossed his arms, leaning back against the table.

"The Spirit of Winter has read the redrafted Arendelle Tax Code," he repeated slowly.

Jack drew himself up. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes. But, if you say so, Frost," Kristoff chuckled, pushing himself off from the table again. "I'm sure that Elsa will be thrilled to learn that there are now two people on the face of the planet who have actually read the entire piece."

"But it's simplified!"

"Yeah. She condensed a 488-page document into a 23-page document," he retorted. "But don't worry. It's still incredibly boring."

"Well, I liked it."

"Really."

"Well, I—um," Jack improvised, "I just—think it's really important—to simplify. You know, so it's understandable, and—stuff—and people need to know how the taxes work, or they, uh, don't feel like their money isn't helping the infrastructure, and—keeping things up—safety measures, and, you know, so that—"

"—Stop talking."

Oh, thank Manny.

Jack let out his breath, staring at the floor. Without looking up, he heard Elsa's brother-in-law take a step towards him, chuckling softly under his breath.

"Basically," Kristoff laughed, "You think she's hot."

Jack swallowed hard. After a few moments, kicking at the floor, a sheepish smile crept across his features.

"Yeah," he mumbled shyly.

The young king grinned, shaking his head and turning away to walk back to the table. As he picked up the wrapped scarf, tossing it to himself as he walked back to the pile of wet clothes, Jack leapt up onto his feet, running after him.

"It's not weird, or anything. I promise," Jack insisted. "It's just—Elsa's the first girl I've ever met that's like me."

"Not that you're desperate."

"What? Pfft! No!" Jack retorted, "But even if I was—oh, come on! You try going for over three hundred years without—"

"—Wait, how many years!?" Kristoff whipped around.

Jack Frost abruptly snapped his mouth shut, feeling blood rushing to his face.

"Maybe—a few," he choked.

King Kristoff's eyes narrowed. After a few moments, he gave his head a little shake, turning back to the pile of clothes and crouching down to find his knapsack.

"I—I should add, though," Jack stammered, blushing furiously, "Physically, I'm nineteen. And, my last girlfriend was WAY older than me, so—there's that, too."

"Elsa's an adult. She can make her own choices," Kristoff sighed, pulling open the knapsack and placing the wet scarf inside. "Not to mention, I'm pretty sure she's twenty-three going on sixty. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that she'd have a thing for older guys."

"Older?"

"Right. Ancient."

"I'm not ancient!" Jack protested, "I'm—just—sort of immortal-ish. You know," he added, "Like—frozen."

"Does Elsa know that?"

"Does she need to?"

King Kristoff scoffed. "Well, to be totally honest," he said, rolling his eyes, "Given what just happened, I'm pretty sure that your age is the last thing that Elsa's concerned about right now."

Jack's face fell.

"I really messed up," he choked. "Didn't I?"

"You think?"

Kristoff shook his head, sitting on the floor by the pile of clothes and pulling out a pair of thick boots. He began to strap them on, and Jack bit his lip.

"What do I do, then?" he asked. "You've known Elsa longer than I have."

Kristoff sighed, finishing with the first boot and starting on the next. "Well, you're just going to have to go and try to talk to her," he said. "And I can talk to Anna, too. If I can convince her that you meant well, she can talk to Elsa, and then Elsa might be less likely to sic a snow monster on you the next time she sees your face."

He got onto his feet, brushing himself off and turning back around. Catching sight of it laying on the floorboards, Jack began to reach for his staff, only to have Elsa's brother-in-law snatch it away.

"Hey!"

"If you're going to try to apologize to Elsa for using magic on her without her permission," Kristoff said coldly, holding the staff out of Jack's reach as he leapt for it, "I suggest you do it without more magic."

"I've still got magic," Jack protested, "I just—like using the staff. That's all."

"Yeah, but this is a glaring reminder."

Jack glanced down to his feet. Nodding reluctantly, he then ran his fingers through his hair, letting out another long sigh.

"Yeah," he mumbled, "You're probably right."

After a few more moments passed, Kristoff snorted.

Jack looked up. "What?"

King Kristoff shook his head. "I cannot—believe—that I'm giving relationship advice to Jack Frost," he chuckled. "Man, I've done a lot of crazy things in my life, but I did not see this one coming."

"Well," Jack laughed self-consciously, raising his eyebrows, "Who knew that you'd become the brother-in-law of a girl with ice powers?"

"Who knew that the Spirit of Winter would be such a complete moron?"

Jack felt blood rushing to his face. Quickly hiding it, he scoffed. "What does that make you, then?" Jack demanded, "Some kind of love expert?"

"No. But I have friends who are," Kristoff shrugged. "And as a general rule, I can tell you that women don't like it when you mess with their emotions. Or, in your case," he enunciated coldly, "Manipulate them completely."

"Manipu—? No, no, no. That's not how my magic works," Jack exclaimed, "When I smack someone with—well, like, a snowball, with the fun in it—all it does is absorb their fears for a few seconds. You know—social anxieties, deadlines, whatever's stopping them from having fun. Then, they're usually able to forget about the negative stuff for long enough to…"

Jack's voice trailed off. His face suddenly drained of color, and he stumbled backwards a few steps, throwing out his hand to catch himself and sinking into the side of the table. "Ooooh," he groaned. "I think—oh, no. I think I know what happened…"

"What? What is it?"

"The necklace," Jack choked, kneading his eyebrows. "She—Elsa was wearing it the whole time."

Kristoff's eyes widened. "Because the snowballs are only supposed to last for a couple seconds, right?"

"Right," Jack laughed bitterly. "So, when she kept it on the whole time, it was like she was getting hit with…a few thousand of those snowballs."

Jack pulled his hand down to his mouth, slowly shaking his head and looking back up into King Kristoff's eyes. For a few moments, the two said nothing, staring at each other in horror as the mutual realization fell over the room in silence.

As if on cue, Kristoff and Jack simultaneously burst out laughing, buckling over into hysterical, gasping snorts of horror as Jack's face turned beet red again.

"MAN," Kristoff exclaimed, shaking his head with a grin, "When Jack Frost makes a mess of things, he REALLY makes a mess of things, doesn't he?"

"I guess I do."

"You basically just accidentally got Elsa drunk," he drawled as Jack blushed even harder.

"Well, when you say it like that!"

The Commoner King walked over to the table and stooped down, gingerly picking the necklace up off of the floor and tossing it to Jack. "This should never fall into the wrong hands," he laughed, "I mean, at least for the sake of Arendelle, this is Elsa we're talking about. Another ten minutes, and her brain would have melted."

Jack bit his lip, sheepishly sliding his hands into his front pocket and nodding. The guy was right.

Elsa's brother-in-law took a step back, gesturing to the staff. "Should I hang onto this for you?" he asked. "Until you've figured out how to apologize to her?"

"Yeah. That's probably a good idea," Jack admitted, letting out a sigh, "But if something happens to it, you're dead."

"Sounds good." He walked over to the door, opening it. "Well…?"

Jack sucked in a deep breath. He began walking towards it, biting his lip. "Well… here goes," he said.

"Good luck."

"Thanks, man," he laughed, "And don't say tha—"

"—You'll need it."

"Ah, there it is," Jack grumbled. "Couldn't resist, could you?"

Shaking his head, King Kristoff smiled good-naturedly. Jack swallowed hard, walking out into the hallway towards Elsa's bedroom.