XVIII - Call it What You Want (Red's POV)
June 25th. My birthday.
Wonderland didn't celebrate birthdays in my childhood. We didn't celebrate unbirthdays either, unless you count the painfully boring gatherings where we all stared at food and presents all day long as a celebration. Ever since I was a little girl, my mother had outlawed birthdays, so I never actually got to have one.
But like everything in this new, nicer timeline, that was different. Apparently my mother threw the biggest birthday parties for me when I was a kid. The whole kingdom practically stopped functioning for a week just to celebrate their princess's birthday. My mother had shown me pictures of me as a child with Chloe, Chester, Ace, and Maddox all fawning over me as I grew up. I didn't like being the center of attention, and that's all my birthday was.
I was back in my dorm with Chloe. Our two week vacation at the beach was over and I was only here because Chloe was finishing up an online summer course. When I woke up that morning she was already awake, sitting at the shared desk in our room, typing away on her laptop. I got up and walked over to where she sat, wrapping my arms around her and placing gentle kisses on Chloe's cheek and neck.
"Good morning, princess," Chloe said, smiling.
"Good morning, love. When did you get up?" I asked.
"Oh, a few hours ago. It's fine, I promise," she said, her attention returning to her computer screen.
"Chloe, it's summer break. You should be taking it easy. It's a summer class, how much work can there be?" I said, glancing at her computer screen. She was writing an email, but before I could see who it was addressed to or what it was about she closed the laptop.
"You're deflecting love," she said, smiling brightly at me. "You just don't want me focusing on your birthday today."
I groan, hiding my face in her hair because I know she's right. "Please tell me you didn't go crazy," I begged.
"Please, throwing my girlfriend her first ever birthday party that she'll remember? I would never go overboard," she said, teasing me.
"Chloe," I said, drawing out her name.
"Relax, Red," she said, her voice turning serious. "I know how much you hate being the center of attention. I just did something small for you. I think you'd be better off worrying about your mom—she wants me to take you back home tonight for your birthday ball."
She was right, my mother would definitely be the one to go overboard, and she definitely did if she had an entire ball planned for tonight. Chloe knew better. She knew what I would like more than my mother would, and that made me feel…backward. Yes, it was nice having a kind, loving mother, and a girlfriend that loved me more than life itself. Chloe would do anything if I asked her. In fact, I was sure that if I told her I wanted to watch the world burn, she would douse everything in gasoline and hand me the matches. My mother should be the one who knew me the best, but in reality it was like she was a stranger to me.
It was only around nine in the morning, and we had the entire day ahead of us. "Go get dressed, love. I'm taking you to the Hatter's Tea Emporium for brunch," Chloe said, kissing my forehead.
"Fine," I grumbled, walking over to the closet. I pulled out my favorite pair of black denim shorts and a rose-patterned crop-top. It was summer and it would be hot outside. "Chloe, will you braid my hair for me?"
"Yes, love," she said. "Come sit down and I'll do it. One braid or two?"
"Two," I said, handing her my hairbrush and some hair ties. I sat down at the desk and Chloe started brushing my hair, parting it down the middle so she could start braiding it. I wasn't exactly tender-headed, my mother made sure of that, but she was never rough with me. Her hands worked quickly with my hair, and not even ten minutes later she was done.
"Thank you," I said quietly.
"You're welcome, beautiful," she said, kissing the top of my head. She always doted on me, it was one of the things I loved most about her. In the beginning it was hard to accept her affection, but now it was easy. Receiving love from Chloe was easy, everyone else's commentary was not.
I finished getting ready for the day, and we headed out together. Chloe had taken me there for the first time on Valentine's Day and it quickly became one of my favorite places. It reminded me of home, but in a good way. It made me remember the good parts of Wonderland, the places I used to go to hide out from my wretched mother, hanging out with Chester and Ace.
Like always, Chloe olds my hand while we walk into downtown Auradon, following our path to the small cafe that had become a safe haven for me. I was there so much that the staff there knew me by name now. The fact that I was the Princess of Wonderland was completely irrelevant in this situation.
We sat down at one of the tables and two cups of tea were placed in front of us, along with a cupcake with a single flaming candle. I stared at it in confusion. Why didn't Chloe have one, too? And why did it have a candle on it? Chloe must've noticed the look on my face because she starts giggling at me before explaining.
"Normally you have a birthday cake and you make a wish before blowing out the candles. I thought you would like something smaller, so make a wish, love," Chloe smiled.
"But what do I wish for?" I asked, still confused.
"Anything you want," she said.
"But I have you, I don't want anything else," I said, but once the words left my mouth I realized there was something I wanted—Chester and Ace. I wanted Chester and Ace to be back in my life. I wanted more than just one friend. Yes, Chloe was enough to make me happy, and Zoey was a good friend, but they weren't from Wonderland. They didn't understand it the way Chester and Ace would.
I closed my eyes, mentally wishing that one day Chester and Ace would magically reappear in my life, and blew out the candle. When I open my eyes again Chloe's beaming at me, a look of pride on her face.
"Why are you smiling like that?" I asked as I took the candle out of the cupcake.
"Because I just got to watch you blow out your first birthday candle. It's special to me because I got to see one of your firsts," she said, sipping her tea. She was such a sap, but her sweetness had a way of melting my heart in a way no one else could.
"Do you know what I wished for?" I asked.
"No!" Chloe laughed, "You're not supposed to tell people what you wished for, otherwise it won't come true."
"Oh come on, it's not like it'll happen anyway," I said.
Chloe let out a defeated sigh, "Fine. What did you wish for?"
"I wished for Chester and Ace to come back," I said quietly. I didn't want to make her feel guilty, but at the same time I didn't want to lie to her.
"I understand," Chloe said, almost like she was reading my mind. "They were the only friends you really had before we met. They're the only ones who understand Wonderland the way you do. They can understand you in ways I can't."
"Chloe," I started. "I'll always need you. You're the only one who can understand the real me. You're the only one who can understand what I've gone through. Are you mad?"
"Never," Chloe said, cupping my cheek. "You want a piece of your past back. I'm not mad at that."
"You're the best, you know that?" I said, leaning into her hand and holding it to my face.
"Well, I am charming," she said, teasing me.
"That's debatable," I countered, earning a laugh from Chloe.
"You know, I never thought I'd find a fairytale like my parent's story. I grew up waiting for when I would find my perfect person, my happily ever after. I didn't know I would find it in a fiery redhead who's definitely going to take a few years off my life."
I felt my cheeks flush and I dropped my gaze to the cupcake trying to hide my facial expression. She made me feel all warm and gooey inside and I didn't know how she did it. "Red, look at me," she said, lifting my chin and my eyes met hers. "I love you, more than life itself. And if you want something, I'm going to do everything in my power to get it for you, whatever you want, it's yours."
"Chloe, you don't have to do that," I said.
"I know I don't, but I want to. I like making you feel special because you're special to me. Eat your birthday cupcake, love, it's your favorite flavor."
I sniffed the cupcake, wary of what it could taste like. I was still learning what foods I liked and didn't like, and sweet things were hard for me. It smelled like strawberries and cheesecake and it tasted just the same.
"So, because I know you, I know this isn't the only thing you have planned for today. What else do you have up your sleeve?" I gave her a questioning look, and she just laughed at me.
"It's nothing big, I promise," she said.
"Last time you said that you bought out the entire Auradon Art Gallery just for me. I think our definitions of 'nothing big' are very different," I teased, earning me an eye roll.
"That wasn't big, and just trust me, this time it is something small. Are you ready?" she answered.
"Yeah yeah, let's go," I said, trying to pay but Chloe beats me to it.
"You're not paying for anything today, baby. It's your birthday, everything's on me today," she said, making me groan.
"Must you be so chivalrous?" I asked as we walked even further downtown.
"Yes, I must," Chloe said, kissing my cheek and smiling brightly at me. "It's only right that I take care of what's mine."
Eventually Chloe pulls me into a brightly colored building that nearly deafened me when we walked through the doors.
"Chloe!" a young woman said a little too brightly for my liking. "How are you?"
"Good," Chloe said. "Do you have everything ready?"
"Yes," the woman answered. "Follow me."
As we walked deeper into the building I realized where we were. Chloe had taken me to an animal shelter. Dogs barked and jumped as we passed their rooms, some of them never even bothering to look up at me. The woman leads us into a smaller, quiet room with a bunch of cat trees, and cats of all ages, sizes, and colors roamed around the room. Immediately I was in heaven.
"Have fun, girls. They're all yours," the woman said, turning on her heels and leaving us with the cats. I never had a pet growing up, but something about cats calmed me. The fact that you could only touch them when they wanted it reminded me of myself. Cats were quiet, they lived by their own rules, they didn't need anyone else.
"Well, go ahead, love," Chloe said, sitting cross-legged on the floor. A small white kitten quickly approaches her. Chloe drums her fingers on the floor, playing with the kitten. I join her on the floor, and a swarm of cats surrounds me, making Chloe giggle.
"You're gonna be a crazy cat lady when you're old," Chloe teased, picking up the white kitten and setting it in her lap. The cats around me are trying to get my attention, but there's one that captured my attention. It was a small, fluffy black kitten with bright blue eyes, who decided I would be the perfect napping spot. The animal climbed into my lap, curling up into a ball and starting to purr loudly.
"Shut up," I told Chloe, shooting daggers at her. I pick up the kitten, cradling it close to me and violently kissing its sweet little face. Something about this kitten spoke to me, maybe because it was the only one that was calm around me when the others were frantically trying to get my attention. As I held the kitten its purring grew louder and louder. Out of the corner of my eye I see Chloe staring at me with what I can only imagine is a loving facial expression.
"That kitten really likes you," Chloe said, the kitten nuzzling into my neck and headbutting my face.
"Yeah, I guess so," I said, smiling at the affectionate animal. "It's too bad I won't get to keep her." I held the animal close to my chest, not wanting to leave it at the shelter.
"Actually," Chloe started, beaming brightly at me. "That's why I took you here. I talked to your mom and we both thought a pet would be good for you. Especially since you'll be spending some time in Wonderland while I'm at my Swords and Shields training. You'll have a little buddy with you when I can't be there with you. If you want her, she's yours."
"Wait…really?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yup," Chloe said. "You're a cat mom now. What are you gonna name her?"
I threw myself onto Chloe, profusely thanking her, and she just giggled at me, wrapping her arms around me. "You never answered my question," Chloe said once she caught her breath. "What's her name?"
I took a good look at the kitten and struggled to come up with a name on the spot, but as I stared at her it came to me. "Jabberwock," I said, and Chloe bursted into laughter.
"What?" I asked earnestly. "I threatened to feed you to the Jabberwocky when we first met, and I have to make good on it! Attack!" I set the kitten into Chloe's lap, earning me a loud meow of protest from the animal before it skittered back over to me.
"Wait, who's gonna take care of her when I'm at school all the time? We can't hide her in the dorms," I said.
"Maddox agreed to do it," Chloe said plainly. How many people had she talked to about this? As I threw questions at Chloe, she answered them effortlessly—the girl really had thought of everything. While we were in Auradon Maddox would take care of Jabberwock, and when I was home in Wonderland she would be my responsibility. Everything we needed for the cat had already been brought to my room back home, Chloe explained. The only thing left was for me to pick out the kitten.
Chloe fills out the paperwork while I play with my new kitten. I didn't want to put the animal down, I was so in love. I didn't know that such a tiny creature would make me love it. I thought Chloe was the only thing that held that kind of power over me. Soon enough, the paperwork was filed and Chloe and I were headed to Wonderland for my mother's birthday ball she had planned for tonight.
My mother greets Chloe and me with open arms…literally. She pulls us both into a hug, squeezing us tight and talking about how much she missed us. It was late in the afternoon, nearly evening, actually, and the sun was shining bright and hot overhead.
"Oh, we can all catch up later. You girls should go get ready, the ball will start soon. Chloe, your family will be here, too, and I can't wait to see everyone again!" my mother exclaims, clasping her hands in front of her, a happy expression plastered on her face.
I set the cat carrier on the floor in my room, opening the door and the kitten slowly crawls out, sniffing things around my room. That's when I noticed the dress hanging on the door to my bathroom. A wave of sadness washes over me at the sight of it. Not because of the dress itself, but because it represents a life I've never lived. It holds all the memories that everyone thinks I have but in reality are just replaced by memories of abuse and pain.
The dress itself is a deep shade of maroon. It would be form fitting and flared out at the bottom. There weren't sleeves, and that meant that everyone would be able to see the scars littering my back and arms, undoubtedly questioning where they came from. The Queen of Hearts they knew was kind of loving, she would never hurt her own daughter.
"Red," Chloe said quietly, "I know you don't like presents, but I wanted to get you something anyway. It's small, I promise."
"Chloe," I groaned out. "You got me a pet, I think that's enough." She's sitting on the floor in front of me now, the kitten roaming around my room trying to take in its new surroundings.
"Please?" she begs, putting on her best puppy dog eyes that she knows I can't say no to.
"Fine," I relented, and she held out a small box wrapped in silver paper. I took it from her, carefully holding it in my hands as I unwrapped the paper from it. I opened the box, and inside was a gold chain with a dainty letter "C" dangling from it. Chloe's initial. It would be a firm announcement that I belonged to her and her only. I didn't wear necklaces much, but this one might just be the exception.
"Do you like it?" Chloe asked quietly, biting her lip nervously.
"Yes," I breathed out. "Put it on me?" She nods her head, and I turn my back to her, holding up my hair while Chloe takes the necklace and clasps it around my neck. I touch the letter around my neck, leaning back onto Chloe's chest.
"You're mine, you know that?" Chloe whispered, pressing a kiss to my temple.
I feel a smile form on my face, "You're the only one who'll ever have me."
The castle ballroom was filled with the most prestigious Wonderland officials, and even some from Auradon, too. Virtually all of the kings and queens were here visiting from their respective kingdoms. Chloe's family was here, unsurprising given the fact that our family's roots ran deep in this timeline. Part of my job tonight was entertaining Auradon's finest socialites. Perhaps if I weren't already in a relationship this would also have been a ball for potential suitors to ask for my hand.
The mother I had grown up with wouldn't care that I was dating Chloe—she would find a suitor for me herself and I'd probably be married to him against my will. But the mother I had now? I belonged to Chloe, and she wouldn't even think about finding someone else for me. She wouldn't even dare to think that someone else would be a better fit for me. Apparently in this timeline our parents had made bets about when we would get together.
The ballroom was decorated all over in heart motifs, the only change being that instead of blood-red they were a mix of white, pink, and bright red. It looked like love threw up in the castle. People passing by wished me happy birthday, they set presents on a massive table in a corner of the room. There was one person I was looking for, but couldn't quite seem to find, but two teenage boys laughing together made me draw closer to them, and I couldn't believe who they were.
Chester and Ace.
Of course they were at my birthday ball. My mother told stories of me as a child, if I wasn't with Chloe I was causing mischief with them. Part of me stung with regret that I held different memories of us than they did, but I had to remind myself that now they only had good memories, not the memories I had that were tainted with bloodshed.
"And what are you two laughing at?" I asked them, crossing my arms across my chest, unpleased at their behavior.
"You, princess!" Chester laughed. "You hate these things, and here you are acting like a perfect princess. Looks like your girlfriend has been rubbing off on you. That dress looks a little itchy, maybe Chloe will help you take it off later!"
"Shut the fuck up," I snapped, my face flushing bright red. I knew if my mother heard what I just said she'd probably scold me for having such a dirty mouth, but I didn't care. I also knew he was just teasing—he would never say something that would actually hurt me. I rolled my eyes at him, realizing the slight flush that crossed Ace's cheeks when Chester brought up my girlfriend. I had a crush on him when we were younger, before I fully realized what I felt for Chloe. Now I couldn't imagine myself dating him. It probably wouldn't make me very happy now that I know how good loving Chloe felt.
"May I have this dance, princess?" I heard a small voice behind me ask. I was getting irritated. I had been asked to dance by so many people, yet none of them were by the person I wanted. I quickly turned on my heels, formulating a proper refusal, trying to hide the irritation in my voice, but instead I was faced with the most regal knight I could've asked for.
Chloe stood before me in a deep navy suit, nearly identical to her father's, and per the norm, her glittering sword sat in its sheath at her hip. I wasn't expecting her, despite always wishing it was her. Every time someone asked me for a dance I had turned them down, wishing they were Chloe instead, and now here she was in front of me, and I couldn't muster up enough words to even answer her question.
"I—uh…yes?" I stuttered. Chloe held out her hand to me, and I took it without hesitation. I swallow back my words, thinking clearly again, "I'd love to dance with you."
Chloe's hand finds my lower back, guiding me through the ballroom, and I'm confused. She asked to dance, where are we going? "I thought you wanted to dance?"
"Not here, princess," she said, guiding me to the balcony that overlooked the royal gardens. The music wasn't nearly as loud out here as it was in the ballroom, and for that I was grateful. I could feel myself starting to get overwhelmed, and Chloe had come to save me at just the right time.
The air was warm and dry; it felt like the second I touched something I would get shocked. Chloe and I had been alone together so many times, so why did tonight feel different? It scared me, my heart beating wildly in my chest.
"Chloe, I don't know how to dance…" I said anxiously.
"Shh, just follow my lead. It'll be just like what we did at Castlecoming, remember?" she said, placing her hands on my waist, drawing me closer to her.
"You won't run away this time, right?" I teased lightly, earning an eye roll from Chloe.
"I wouldn't dream of it," she said, looking at me with stars in her eyes, a certain dreaminess to her voice. Her lips are on mine, soft and sweet, tasting like coconut like she always did. She felt like the home I never had as a child, warm and safe. "You'll never have to worry about me kissing you and running away ever again, princess."
"Why do you keep calling me princess? You're a princess, too," I said, laying my head on her shoulder as we swayed back and forth to muffled music.
"You're more of a princess than I am, love. You're the sole heir to Wonderland. Chad could take the throne in Cinderellasburg," Chloe said.
"Only if you don't want to, though," I said. "Technically you've trained your whole life to be queen."
"But I don't think that's what I want anymore, Red," Chloe said, her voice quiet.
"Chloe, you can't just throw away your future because of me. You could be queen of Cinderellasburg, and I'll rule in Wonderland. We could make it work," I said, even though I knew how hard it would be if we were both queens of our respective kingdoms. It would make marrying her that much harder.
I wanted to marry her, I really did. Chloe was everything that felt good and safe, she was home when I never had a physical place to call home. But I knew how important her future was to her. I knew how much she wanted me, how much she wanted to be queen, how much she wanted to go to college and be an athlete. I didn't want to stand in the way of her accomplishing her dreams.
"You don't understand, Red," Chloe said sweetly. "Nothing else matters if I don't have you by my side. I could rule over every kingdom, I could have all the degrees in the world, I could be the best sword fighter, but I wouldn't be happy, because my happiness comes from you. Now that I've had you, I realize that true happiness doesn't come from being the best or having every achievement ever, it comes from the people that got you there and the journey that you took to get there."
I feel tears slide silently down my cheeks. No one had ever said something like that to me before. No one had ever cared about me that way before. No one's ever had me, not like she did. I suck in a breath, and Chloe takes her fingers under my chin, lifting my gaze to meet her eyes. I couldn't lose her, losing her now would surely be the death of me. My heart wasn't mine anymore, sure it may have kept my body alive, but it belonged to Chloe. Chloe was the one who could make me do things I would have otherwise never done. I search her eyes for any fear or trepidation she had about us, but I can only find bravery and certainty.
"Happy eighteenth birthday, princess," she said sweetly, pressing her lips to mine. "I'll love you forever and always."