Chapter 5 The Stupidest Plan Ever

Laughing so hard at a joke Larry told that she risked spitting out her drink, Wendy smiled as she looked at everyone at the table. To her delight, training had treated the other Koopalings well too. Sure, she really hadn't expected the contrary, but still. Hearing that they were having a good time was just as fulfilling for her as training Pom Pom had been.

"I'm telling you guys, I think Percy has some promise," Larry said. "I mean, he's not, like, final boss material." He smirked. "But then again, neither am I, so I guess I can let it slide."

Wendy rolled her eyes and shook her head, all while wearing a smirk that was supposed to mirror her brother's. She took another bite of her waffle as Lemmy started telling a training story of his own. He spoke with enviable passion and unbridled enthusiasm. It made her smile and helped lift up her soul. She smiled harder than she normally did, and at this very moment, she was experiencing a sense of joy and fulfillment.

At least, until Pom Pom came into the room. She took her seat and smiled; nothing out of the ordinary about that. But something about her expression was… off. The smile didn't appear as natural as it did when, say, Wendy was praising her about how her training had gone. It was a subtle difference, sure, but that didn't make it any less noticeable or any less important in Wendy's eyes.

"Hey," she said, using a soft volume so she didn't call too much attention to herself. "You okay?"

Pom Pom hesitated for about ten seconds. "Yeah. I'm doing alright."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Pom Pom gave Wendy a smile, and this time it didn't look forced in the slightest. "Just had to deal with some personal stuff; that's all."

Wendy considered those words before smiling and nodding. "Okay. That's fine; we all have personal stuff to deal with every now and again." She fidgeted with one of her bracelets. "I just hope that you will be able to adjust to life as a soldier well." She chuckled. "Not that I don't expect you to. I think what I said about you a few minutes ago is enough to point you to the reason why."

Pom Pom chuckled. "Thank you, Your Highness."

"Your Highness?" Wendy asked with a blink before smiling. "Oh no, there's no need for formalities. You can just call me Wendy."

Pom Pom did a double-take. "Really?"

"Yeah." Wendy smiled. "I never really liked the titles. 'Your Majesty,' 'Your Highness,' 'Your Excellency…' they all sound pretentious. I mean, I get why they're a thing, but… they aren't for me. Never were honestly."

Pom Pom gawked before nodding. "I suppose that makes sense." She paused. "I bet I would get sick of them too if I was in a position of royalty."

"Oh, I can almost guarantee you would." Wendy chuckled, doing so softly enough that she still went unnoticed by the boys having their own conversations. "And you would probably get sick of having such a tight schedule." She took a sip of her juice. "I mean, my schedule isn't that jam-packed. I'm not related to Bowser by blood, so I don't have as many duties thrust upon me as an actual heir probably would. Plus, Bowser has gone out of his way to make it so that me and the other Koopalings are allowed to live our own lives, free from any stresses." She looked over at Bowser, still sitting at the head of the table. "But I do know that my Dad has a lot of duties. He does all… well, most without complaining, but…" she thought about this before shrugging. "I don't really know. Something tells me that being a king would be a stressful job."

"Oh, I bet." Pom Pom turned to Bowser herself. "Managing a country, helping your people, maintaining a good public image, and not really allowing yourself any time to unwind… just one of those sound like they would be hell."

"Exactly!" Wendy smiled. "That's why I'm so proud of Bowser. He does everything right." She thought about this before snorting. "I mean, he does kidnap a Princess every other week, but other than that he's pretty much flawless!"

Both Pom Pom and Wendy laughed at that. Wendy had to admit that the sound of Pom Pom's laugh was really nice. Not too passionate, not too subdued, and overall the sound was just contagious. It made Wendy happy, which she supposed was all she really needed in life.

"You know, I'm really proud of my Dad too," Pom Pom said once they calmed down. "He was a soldier in the Koopa Troop for twenty years. He served and protected the kingdom, so well in fact that he actually got promoted to general."

"Really?" Wendy leaned forward. "Do I know him, by any chance?"

"You might. His name is Boom Boom."

Wendy gasped. "I do know him! He was the general when I was a kid!" She grinned from ear to ear. "I thought he was really nice! Could be a little brash, but he really knew how to do his job!"

"Yeah, that's my Dad for you." Pom Pom chuckled and curled a strand of her hair back. "He had me in his thirteenth year of service. He spent a lot of time away from home, but decided to retire in order to take better care of me and my brother."

"Really? Huh. I always wondered what happened to him." Wendy wore a contemplative look. "I mean, he obviously couldn't have died in combat. The most action he's probably ever seen was against Mario. That might sound like a lot, but Mario isn't really the killing type, so…" she shrugged and chuckled. "The point is I had no idea what could've happened to him. But it is really nice he retired for you!" Wendy's heart felt fluttery. Was this what excitement felt like? Was this what making new friends felt like? "He sounds like a great dad."

"Yeah. He is." Pom Pom frowned after saying that. She also looked down at the table, in a way that made Wendy feel uncomfortable.

"Hey." Pom Pom lifted her head, and Wendy gave her a furrowed brow. "Are you alright?"

"Oh. Yeah, I just…" she hesitated before sighing. "I guess I just want to make him proud of me."

Wendy smiled. "I'm sure he already is." That got Pom Pom to smile. It wasn't a big smile, as there was still a good deal of uncertainty attached to the expression, but still. It was a welcome thing to see, a sign that Wendy's words were having a good effect on the rookie. She was about to speak up and say something else, possibly something even more uplifting, when…

"Okay!" Bowser exclaimed. Wendy turned to see him rising from his seat. "Koopalings, I'm gonna need to see all of you in the War Room."

"Of course," Wendy muttered under her breath. She smirked and turned to Pom Pom. "That's where we plan out kidnapping missions. My brothers and I have dubbed it the Doom Room."

"Oh. Because you are gonna bring doom to Mario and his friends?"

Wendy burst into laughter. It took her a full minute to recover. "Yeah. Sure, let's go with that."

…

It took about thirty minutes for the Koopa family to gather in the War… oh, sorry, Doom Room. This was mostly because the Koopalings took their sweet, sweet time when it came to getting in there. Seriously, the more time wasted when it came to kidnapping missions, the better. They did everything in their power to avoid going into the Doom Room, but alas, their efforts could only do so much. Now, Bowser stood over a table with a map of the Mushroom Kingdom sprawled out, all while the Koopalings and Bowser Jr sat at various seats around the table.

"Okay," Bowser said, looking from one kid to the next. "Now that everyone's here." He stood up and cleared his throat. "I've been doing a lot of thinking since our last kidnapping mission. Personally, I feel that the reason why so many of them fail is because we're approaching the situation wrong." This got EVERYONE in the room to laugh, making Bowser's face turn pink. "Hey! What's so funny?"

Larry laughed and wiped a tear from his eye. "I think you're a little late to the punch, Bowser."

"Extremely," Iggy said as he put his hand to his stomach. "The eight of us have been telling you that for YEARS. And every time we tell you, our message falls on deaf ears."

"Yeah," Ludwig said with a smile. "I mean, better late than never I guess, but this is REALLY late!"

Bowser glared at the Koopalings. His expression didn't change or brighten as everyone continued laughing. It probably… no, DEFINITELY caused the laughter to die down prematurely, leaving the Koopalings to stare at their miffed father.

"Larry, Iggy, Ludwig, you're grounded."

"What?" Larry exclaimed, his voice an octave too shrill as he threw up his hands.

"What I was trying to say is that I believe we are focusing on the wrong areas." He pointed to the map. "We always kidnap Peach at her castle, then we go eastward. The Mario brothers travel east throughout the different worlds in order to defeat you guys, reclaim the territories, and come beat me. I was thinking that we do something else." He grinned. "I want to throw the Mario brothers WESTWARD, AWAY from the castle."

Wendy did a double-take. As she did, Roy blinked out his eyes and shook his head.

"Wow, just got a major case of deja vu there," he said as he scratched his pink head.

"Uh… Bowser, didn't we already do this plan?" Lemmy asked.

"Well… yeah sort of. We did this a few years back during that time where we held Peach prisoner and took over the castle via magic."

Iggy gawked at him. "And… you think it'll work this time when it failed last time because…?"

Bowser chuckled. "It's not going to be the EXACT same as last time. I was thinking, instead of holding Peach in the castle, we throw the Mario bros towards Acorn Plains and then bring here HERE, to this castle!"

Wendy was growing more and more confused by the second. "Okay, so… that's all well and good, but what world will we patrol then? For example, on our regular missions I usually patrol World 4, but in the one plan you're pulling inspiration from, I patrolled Frosted Glacier. Since we are using a plan that incorporates two different, joined-together routes, then what are we gonna do? We can't patrol two worlds at the same time."

"Yeah," Bowser Jr. said as he looked up at Bowser. "That's literally impossible, Dad."

"I know that!" Bowser's eyes glittered. "Which is why I came up with this. You guys patrol the original areas you patrolled when we did the first plan, like Frosted Glacier and Sparkling Waters, and if Mario defeats you, you then go to your usual patrol outposts to fight Mario again!"

Silence. None of the Koopalings said anything; they all just stared at Bowser with dropped jaws. Right when the silence hit the five-minute mark, Larry gave Bowser a look.

"What… the FUCK… is wrong with you?"

"You want us to get beaten up by Mario TWICE in one mission?" Morton asked, his eyes wide.

"It's not like it'll be IMMEDIATE," Bowser protested. "It's going to take time for Mario to get to World 1 and World 2 on foot if he starts out in Acorn Plains, and you'll guys have airships! You'll get beaten the first time and travel back to your usual worlds with PLENTY of time to spare!"

"Yeah, but…" Ludwig stood up as his hands were on fire. "You want US… your children who you love more than anyone else in the world… you want US to take part in a plan where we get beat up by Mario not once, but TWICE IN ONE MISSION!"

"Exactly!" Bowser said, smiling as he did.

Ludwig's eyes glowed white now, and the light in the room flickered. "You don't see ANYTHING wrong with that?" He growled as the flames grew higher. "Bowser, for the love of God, THINK! USE! YOUR FUCKING! BRAIN!" He looked ready to punch Bowser, he really truly did. "YOU KNOW HOW BADLY SOME OF US GET INJURED DURING OUR FIGHTS, AND NOW YOU WANT TO DOUBLE THAT PAIN? DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME YOU TRIED THAT?" The fire surrounding Ludwig was lethal hot, hotter than the hottest star in the sky. "IT TOOK ALL OF US SUCH A LONG TIME TO RECOVER, AND NOW YOU WANT TO DO IT AGAIN?" Bowser's face fell from confident to uncertain, but that didn't mean Ludwig was done. "HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU CARE ABOUT US WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE… LIKE… THIS!"

"Again Bowser, I must ask; what the fuck is wrong with you!" Larry said.

Bowser shrunk down a little bit. "You… you guys do bring up some good points…" he looked ten inches tall, a feat to be sure.

"So no," Iggy said, his voice extra stern. "We aren't doing this. It isn't realistic and it sure as hell isn't smart."

"Y… yes. You guys have made that clear." Bowser lifted his head. "But what about the mission? We need to go on a mission!"

"We don't NEED to," Roy said.

"Yes! Yes, we do!" He reached out his hand and patted Junior's shoulder. "I've been trying pretty much since this guy was born to get him a mother! I know how lonely he feels, I know how hard it is for him! I can't let him exist in a state where he feels like he's missing a part of his life!"

Junior stared at Bowser. "Dad…"

"Well, if that's the case, what's stopping you from finding someone else?" Roy asked.

Bowser shrunk back. He pulled his hand away from Junior, a shadow crossing over his face as he titled his head. "Who would want us?"

Silence fell across the scene again. Wendy looked at her brothers, who all (including Ludwig, whose flames were gone) looked stunned. Wendy looked upon her adoptive father, her heart aching. She looked at her adoptive brother, her heart aching even more.

"Okay," she said after letting out a sigh. All eyes in the room turned to her. She stood up from her chair, placing her hands down on the table. "I think we should try the plan, but with a few adjustments." Bowser lifted his head, willing her to continue with his eyes. Wendy cleared her throat. "Instead of each of us fighting Mario twice, why don't we have the new recruits act as the bosses of the first seven worlds? They can come with us on our airships, and we can give them some pointers and train them."

The boys exchanged looks. Just based on the way said looks appeared, Wendy felt pretty good about the chances of them accepting her plan. Bowser put his hand to his chin as they did.

"Hmm…" with his free hand, he drummed his fingers against the table. "I did say I wanted the new recruits to be involved with the mission somehow…" he chuckled. "And I hadn't really decided on how, so this idea seems promising…" he smiled and looked at Wendy. "You know what, Wen? I like that idea."

The other Koopalings let out breaths of relief as Wendy smiled at Bowser. "Thank you." She sat back down.

Bowser's enthusiasm grew more and more. "Yeah, I think this is a good idea. I'll assign to you guys the recruits that you trained with today. You've already had time to bond with them, so more than likely they will be most comfortable around you." He beamed. "And if there's any time where a bond can come in handy, it's when you're brothers in arms."

Wendy's heart fluttered. This means I get to spend more time with Pom Pom! She couldn't help but grin. Oh, this is going to be fun!