As the morning rays lit up the bedroom within their hut, Mary Ann opened her eyes, lifted her head and let out a long yawn.
There were no beds in the kingdom that could hold a fossa, and no lemur that knew anything about construction cared (or dared) to come near her home to build one, so she and Horst slept on a simple nest made from palm leaves on top of grass and moss that served as padding.
Not that Mary Ann minded it, as it was still a major improvement over sleeping on cold rocky floors, surrounded by other fossa who would almost always roll over to you in their sleep and then bite you if they got startled. The lack of any dried-up lemur blood or rotting, severed limbs in her vicinity also led to a merciful lack of pesky flies.
Horst also preferred sleeping on top of her, and today was no different.
"Good morning, my fetching fossa…" Horst purred while resting his head on her back, stroking her coarse ruby fur with his arms and legs and then wiggled his eyebrows. "So…you feel like getting up, or sleeping in?"
His wife gave him a cross look and whacked him on the head with her tail.
"Ow! What was that for?" Horst whined and rubbed his noggin.
"Not in front of our guest, you idiot." Mary Ann said scoldingly before shushing him. "And keep your voice down."
"Guest?" Horst drawled before his memory flooded back and he glanced over to the small nest they had constructed last night. "Oh? Right…"
Mary Ann rose up, which caused Horst to fall off her and she walked over to the sleeping Keke, which prompted a warm smile to spread across her face. The little kinkajou certainly was very cute.
It made her sad knowing that she could never have a child, thanks to her very unorthodox choice of a partner. The two didn't let society tell them that they were incompatible, but they couldn't escape the fact that they were biologically incompatible, no matter how hard they tried. At least that was what Karl had explained to her in no uncertain terms. On the other hadn't, Doctor S seemed to be of the opinion that she and Horst could pull it off.
Naturally, the couple had immediately agreed that Karl was the far more reliable source… unless Doctor S meant what he said in a different way, in which case nothing really changed, as neither of them was eager to be his guinea pig.
"So…should we wake her up?" Horst asked. "Does she need breakfast?"
Mary Ann sent the blue-eyed lemur an annoyed look. "No. She's a child, who also had a very rough day. She needs her rest. And we don't even know what her kind eats?"
They heard a knock on the door and walked into the living room. Horst opened the door and was met with Maurice, who immediately flinched and lowered his big ears upon seeing Mary Ann.
"Um…good morning, guys?" he said meekly.
"Good morning to you too, Maurice." Horst tried to be cordial. "So, is Keke's mom here to pick her up? The kid's still sleeping."
"Eh…no. She's still at the first aid hut." The aye-aye explained. "Doctor S and Nurse Phantom jus' arrived to look her over. Word is she's still in a…state of shock?"
"Well, that's reassuring…" Mary Ann said with thinly-veiled sarcasm. "He's not carrying any sharp tools, is he?"
"Not that I know…so, ya okay with looking after the kid for a while longer?" Maurice asked. "Cuz I need to get back to some urgent royal business… asap. Y'know…involving the penguins?"
"Sure, no problem." Horst shrugged. "She probably won't wake up till noon anyway."
"Thank you so much, guys. Really appreciate it." Maurice smiled, gave them two thumbs-up and backed away, all too eager to get away from the fossa. "See ya later!"
Once he was gone, Mary Ann grew a worried expression. "Horst? Is it just me, or do you also have a gnawing suspicion that there's something terribly wrong with Keke's mother?"
"Well…she did seem a little…braindead last night?" Horst mused. "But I'm sure she'll get better?"
"That's what I'm worried about? That slithering lunatic being her doctor isn't helping."
"What's not helping?" the two jumped as they heard Keke's voice and turned around to find the kinkajou swinging left and right from their potted octopus tree and waving her arms, while her tail was wrapped around the trunk.
"You're awake?" Horst asked as they walked up to her.
"Duh, I'm not a bebé." Keke laughed. "Your caras look weird upside down?"
"Be careful, you'll get dizzy and fall off." Mary Ann grew concerned.
"I won't, I do it all the time. So where's my mamá?"
The fossa and lemur exchanged worried looks. "Um…she's still recovering?" Mary Ann said tentatively.
"Yeah, and she's being looked after by a…."doctor"? She should be A-okay in no time." Horst added.
"Doctor?" Keke shuddered. "I hate doctors. Hate them. They touch you with cold and sharp things."
Mary Ann chuckled. "Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. Nobody here is fond of Doctor S. But anyways, are you hungry?"
Keke nodded.
"And what do you normally eat?" Horst asked
"Fruit." Keke smiled.
"Well…that's convenient." Horst laughed, unable to believe his luck. "So do we lemurs."
Keke swung herself up and clung to the branches while giving Mary Ann a suspicious look.
"But how do I know the puma won't try to eat me?"
Mary Ann shook her head. "I don't eat anyone who is part of the kingdom, and you are part of it while you're here. And for the last time, I'm not a puma, I'm a fossa. We're like…big mongooses."
"Then why do you look so much like a cat?"
Mary Ann chuckled. "I dunno? Why do you look so much like a lemur if you're a raccoon?" she shot back smartly.
"It's called convergent evolution, you ignorant roobs! Install an education system dammit!" someone shouted from outside.
"Kowalski? Please, don't be so disrespectful!"
Keke groaned. "Ughh…do you have a big rock that I can chuck at Señor Trápala? Or a cactus?"
"I got one?" Horst eagerly held up a potted cholla cactus but placed it back on the nightstand upon receiving a scolding look from his wife.
"Keke, we don't throw things at people." Mary Ann tried to explain. "That's not a nice thing to do."
"But he's such a gilipollas?" Keke whined. "Can't I at least fling javelina estiércol at him? They don't cause injury?"
"Look, we understand where you're coming from. Horst and I deal with annoying people all the time." Mary Ann sighed. "But the best thing to do is to simply ignore them."
Keke huffed and crossed her arms.
"Can you please come down and eat your breakfast?" Mary Ann asked.
"No." she turned her back on them. "You're no fun."
"Honey, why don't we give whatever that "havelina estercoll" game is a try?" Horst suggested to the fossa. "Don't knock it until you try it?"
Mary Ann ignored him as she got an idea. "Listen, Keke? If you come down and eat your mangos, we'll take you out for ice cream…and you can ride on my back while we explore the kingdom? How does that soun-"
She flinched as Keke landed on her shoulders. "Alright! I always wanted to be a gaucho!"
"He's seriously thinking that?" Maurice asked before rubbing his forehead. "Oh, no…"
"I've tried to explain it to him multiple times but I'm afraid his mommy and daddy issues continue to cloud his judgment." Karl explained while leaning against the wall of his new, candle-lit cavern home.
The fanaloka had been working hard these last few months to renovate the place into being like his old lair as much as possible, including bringing in red chairs and other vintage, renaissance-style furniture. There was also a large painting hanging from the wall, which showed Karl sitting on an armchair with Chauncey standing on his finger, along with a small porcelain sculpture molded in the hissing cockroach's likeness just below the painting, both in commemoration of Karl's late friend.
"I know King Julien's folks. When they first came back here, they couldn't even remember their son's name!" Maurice buried his face in his hands. "There ain't no way they would actually bother to remember the date of his birth?"
"Indeed, and if that child's tale about her daring escape from the poacher's vessel is to be believed, this monsoon is very much a reality." Karl mused. "I should warn Timo to closely monitor the local meteorological activity?"
"What are we gonna do?" Maurice asked worriedly. "When King Julien finds out the truth, he'll be devastated?"
"All in good time, Maurice. Right now, our top priority is getting intel from the penguins." Karl reminded him while pacing and letting out a soft chuckle. "My unwitting informant should be here any moment."
"Are ya sure he'll come?"
"Oh, he'll come." Karl smirked confidently and wrung his paws. "Pancho was not wrong in his assessment of this Private fellow. He's, without a shadow of a doubt, a wide-eyed novice who will trust anyone as long as they put on a mask of affability."
Karl then held up a platter with peanut butter winkies. "And I found a way to sweeten the deal."
"Ah-huh." Maurice said flatly as he walked over to the light switch and turned it on. "But speaking of looking affable? How 'bout we don't make this place look too much like a villain lair?"
"Oh, alright." Karl rolled his eyes. "I suppose not everyone appreciates the importance of having class."
"I understand swank, but we need to come across as trustworthy, Karl." Maurice reminded him. "So jus' remember; no hand-wringing, no mustache-twirling, no ominous under light-"
They heard a knock on the door and Karl turned to their hired bouncer.
"Butterfish, is it him?"
The hefty lemur looked through the little slot on the bamboo door.
"The password?"
"Um…Chauncey?" they heard a youthful British accent.
"Ya got it, lil'man." Butterfish opened the door and a nervous Private walked in, holding a notebook closely to his chest.
"Welcome, my friend. Welcome to my humble abode." Karl quickly shook his flipper, sporting a suave smile. "So glad you could make it on time."
"Yeah, well…punctuality is important for a soldier." Private gave a weak smile.
"Allow me to properly introduce myself. I'm Karl, head of security and co-royal science wizard, and he's Maurice, King Julien's personal advisor… and unofficial secretary."
"Um…sup?" Maurice greeted him.
"Um…hello? Nice place you got here, Karl?" Private looked around with intrigue. It reminded him a bit of the vintage décor found in jolly old England. He wondered if the spotted weasel was a fellow Brit?
"Thank you. Now, how about we get down to business." Karl swiftly slinked around the young penguin and grabbed his shoulders. "I believe both of us wish to form a mutually beneficial alliance, yes?"
"Um…yes?" Private looked uncertain, while Maurice pinched the bridge of his nose. Old habits died hard and Karl didn't seem keen on dropping his grandiose (a.k.a stereotypically villainous) mannerisms.
"Then please, take a seat." Karl escorted him to the nearest chair and once Private sat down, the fanaloka offered him the platter of sugary sweets.
"Would you care for a peanut butter winky?"
"Would I?" Private beamed and he took it. "They are my favorite treat."
"Really?" Karl smirked. "How serendipitous?"
"How did ya know that?" Maurice whispered to him.
"I have my ways." Karl smirked before sitting down in front of Private.
"Now, I understand that our king and the skipper of your elite unit…how shall I say? They don't see eye to eye?"
"Oh, I am very sorry if we offended you in any way." Private shifted sheepishly. "Skipper and Kowalski can sometimes get…carried away when they focus too much on a mission, and sensitivity isn't their strong suit. But I swear to you, on my honor as a penguin, that they are very principled chaps who always wish to do the right thing…you just gotta learn to tolerate their… quirks?"
"Excellent, because that is exactly what my associate and I were hoping to do." Karl pressed his paws together as an uneasy Maurice joined his side. "With the looming threat of this Dr. Blowhole, I think you and I can agree that mending political relations would be the best course of action?"
"Well, yes." Private smiled. "Getting along is always the best course of action. I personally detest pointless feuding. Well, actually, I detest feuding of any kind."
"Yeah, I totally agree." Maurice smiled, growing hopeful that this meeting might actually plant the seeds of a truce between Julien and the penguins. "Who cares if you're a bird or a mammal? If you're from the tropics or the polar regions? We're all equals here."
"I know." Private concurred. "Everyone can be friends as long as they give the other party an honest chance. Friendship is the greatest force in the universe!"
"You are absolutely right, my friends." Karl stated, trying to keep his composure. He wasn't anti-friendship but this penguin's cloying way of articulating it made him sick to his stomach.
"Locating and flushing out this devious dolphin would be a lot easier if we joined forces, since King Julien has a lot of loyal subjects willing to do his bidding. Of course, we cannot exactly help you if we don't have a profile on our mutual foe."
He smiled with wicked anticipation. "So…have you brought that profile?"
"Dial it back, man." Maurice whispered to him. "Remember, affable."
"I did." Private held up the notebook. "I was a bit skeptical at first, but now that we've talked like proper gents, I can see that-"
Karl snatched it out of Private's flippers and he and Maurice read its content.
"Operates a giant dome-shaped submarine…oh, very classy." Karl smiled.
"Commands army of lobsters? Moves around on segway? Plans to flood the planet?" Maurice read.
"Uses dramatic computer voice to announce his inventions? Yes, he certainly has class." Karl admitted while twirling his whiskers.
"Calls penguins "peng-goo-ins"?" Maurice arched an eyebrow.
"Sounds like Barney Stinson?" Karl made a face. He had to check who that was?
"Sports cybernetic eye following an accident involving the "Ring of Fire"? Ouch." Maurice cringed.
"He also has a sister, but I'd rather not talk about her. She's not really relevant to this." Private rubbed the back of his neck. "Plus, talking about her is a massive sore spot for Kowalski."
"I don't even wanna know 'bout that." Maurice nodded flatly. And he thought Horst was too open-minded about love?
"Private!" the trio jumped as Kowalski roped his way down and swiftly snatched the notebook away from the mammals.
"Just what did you think you were doing?" Kowalski glowered down at the wilting rookie.
"How did you let him get past you?" Karl hissed at Butterfish angrily.
"Ya said nuthin' 'bout 'im comin' down the roof?" Butterfish shrugged blandly.
"Wait, Kowalski! Can you please just let me explain-"
Kowalski ignored Private and shot Maurice and Karl a sharp glare, the former visibly panicking while the latter remained perfectly composed.
"Looks like my hunt four double agents just had a breakthrough!" Kowalski declared triumphantly.
"What?" Maurice paled. "No. It's not what it looks like-"
"Please, spare me your villainous monologues." Kowalski huffed. "Your feeble attempts at mental manipulation will yield no results, you furry fiends. You might have duped little, gullible Private with the promise of friendship bracelets and peanut butter winkies, but I'm wise to your tricks!"
"This ain't a trick." Maurice tried to reason with him. "We came here on King Julien's behalf to talk 'bout an alliance in order to face this Dr. Blowhole guy together. We are all very worried that he might threaten our kingdom if he's really-"
"Like I haven't heard that one before? Proposing a phony team-up, just so you can stab us in the back later on! How woefully cliché." Kowalski smirked and folded his flippers.
"Marvelous deductive skills." Karl gave the tall penguin a slow clap, his tone oozing with smug sarcasm. "As to be expected from someone who got vexed by a child."
"Excuse me?" Kowalski narrowed his eyes. "I was not vexed by a child!"
"If you insist? Either way, it seems we were right to approach Private for this meeting instead of his so-called superior." Karl turned to Maurice, his smirk not faltering one bit. "Given his rather subpar people skills."
"Kowalski, they're telling you the truth." Private tried to reason with his teammate. "This silly little feud over a few misplaced words really needs to be buried so we can face the real threat."
"Indeed, and I do not hobnob with marine mammals." Karl insisted. "If you're looking for a morally-bankrupt fanaloka who cooperates with dolphins, might I suggest you investigate my cretin of a brother, Bruce?"
"Right, right, this totally isn't a villain lair?" Kowalski scoffed as he walked through the cave, his keen eyes studying every inch of the place. "And you are clearly not stalling us with long-winded monologues just so you can spring a trap on us! Do you think I was hatched yesterday?"
"I told ya to rendezvous someplace else." An annoyed Maurice hissed to Karl.
"Kowalski, be reasonable?" Private begged him. "Can't we just once talk to someone without assuming that they have an ulterior motive?"
"Being properly paranoid has saved Skipper's life on multiple occasions." Kowalski told him while listening in on the walls and tapping them. "You could really use to learn from his example."
"I can assure you that you won't find anything here outside of my criminally lavish decor." Karl said haughtily.
"Oh…well, I suppose you're right." Kowalski pretended to give up and moved along. "My mistake. Clearly, there is nothing suspicious going on-AH-HAH!"
Karl gasped and his eyes grew as big as dinner plates as Kowalski smashed the statue of Chauncey against the floor, shattering it into a million pieces.
"I knew it!" Kowalski pointed at the floor. "There it is…" his face fell "…there was no hidden camera in there? Or spring-loaded tranq darts? Or knock-out gas?"
"CHAUNCEY!" Karl cried and rushed over to pick up the broken pieces in his paws. "What have you done?!"
"Blimey, Kowalski! What did you do?" Private looked horrified.
"Ah…so if this tacky statue wasn't harboring any nasty surprises…" Kowalski rubbed his chin "…I can only assume that it was some kind of tribute to… a deceased pet?"
"Friend! He was my friend!" Karl stood up, his pupils turned into tiny dots and his back hair bristled. "And you have defiled his memory!"
"Take it easy." Kowalski took a few steps back. "I'm sure that as a close associate of King Julien, you can afford a replacement. No need to be crying over spilled-"
"Kowalski!" Private marched up to him, sporting an angry glare. "You need to apologize! Right now!'
Kowalski looked at the fanaloka, who was barring his teeth and breathing heavily, and sighed.
"Alright, I'm sorry." Kowalski said blandly. "I'm sorry that you feel this illogical emotional attachment to a lesser creature like an arthropod."
"Oh, boy…" Maurice facepalmed. That fool did not just say that?
Screeching like a feral beast, Karl lunged at Kowalski and in the blink of an eye, they were fighting on the floor, with Kowalski doing everything he could to blook the biting and clawing.
"Butterfish, do something!" Maurice cried.
"Alright, break it up yall." Butterfish drawled and pried Karl off Kowalski.
Karl snarled and swiped at the penguin viciously before being thrown over Butterfish's shoulder.
"Ya need a time out, man." Butterfish took the squirming and protesting Karl to the latter's bedroom.
"This isn't over, penguin!" the livid Karl cried. "You will pay for this transgression!? Mark my word! You'll pay!"
"What…jus' what is the matter with ya?!" an enraged Maurice chastised Kowalski while Private helped him up.
"What's the matter with me?" Kowalski asked indignantly. "I said I was sorry, didn't I? That supercilious civet was the one who attacked me!"
Maurice's eye twitched and he marched over to the door and opened it.
"Out! You two get out now!" he roared.
Private whimpered. "But, Maurice? Can't we-"
"OUT! Now!"
"As you wish. Come on, Private." Kowalski was all eager to leave, holding the notebook under his flipper.
"Just remember." He shot the aye-aye a suspicious glare while passing him. "You're on our radar."
Private followed him and turned around, sporting a meek expression. "I'm really so-"
Maurice slammed the door shut, then breathed in and out before slumping against it with a hopeless expression, feeling burned out from his outburst.
"So much for mending relations?" He sighed.
"Take it all! Just please, don't hurt me!" the silky sifaka vendor cowered and shielded his head behind his ice cream cart, much to Mary Ann's annoyance.
"Awesome!" Keke jumped off her and rushed towards the cart. "If you say so?"
"Oh, no." Mary Ann blocked her path. "You're not eating more than one scoop. It's not healthy."
"But-"
"No buts." Mary Ann said firmly. "Now, do you want pistachio ice cream, or have you changed your mind?"
Thinking fast, Keke sent Horst a pleading look with trembling lips and googly eyes, prompting him to draw a breath to speak but he stopped as Mary Ann gave him a "Don't you even start" glare.
He chuckled awkwardly. "You're right. Who am I to argue with a woman's natural intuition about well-balanced nourishment?"
Keke grew a miffed expression and crossed her arms. "Fine." She grumbled.
Mary Ann turned to the vendor and saw him still cowering. "Well? Are you going to give the kid her ice cream, or are we going to stand here all day?" she asked, annoyance creeping into her voice.
The sifaka nodded fearfully, scrambled to stand up, scooped up a ball of pistachio ice cream and gave it to Keke, before pushing his cart and running away.
"I think you scared him?" Keke said idly between licks, while Mary Ann sighed.
"Chin up, hun." Horst patted her back. "At least this time the vendor didn't faint?"
"That's what she gets for being a bloodthirsty, unfeeling monster with no soul." Mort giggled as he passed by them with a quiver filled with arrows on his back.
Getting an idea, he paused and walked back to them, much to the adults' worry. But Keke watched him with intrigue. Despite being the oldest citizen within the kingdom by a long shot, Mort was still a head shorter than the young kinkajou.
"But tell you what?" Mort smirked at them eerily. "If you outcasts wish to endear yourselves to the masses, now about you help me plant a surprise for those pesky penguins?"
"Will I get to shoot arrows?" Keke sounded interested when Mary Ann got between the two and snarled at the mouse lemur, making him back away.
"No. Now get lost." She grabbed Keke and placed her on her back.
"Yeah, whatever shenanigans you're up to, Mort, keep us out of this." Horst agreed and followed the fossa.
"Fine. Your loss, weirdos." Mort huffed and went his own way while cackling, "I'll be serving polar hot wings for King Julien's birthday party!"
"Aww…why can't I play with him?" Keke asked while the adults shuddered.
"Because he's not safe to be around." Mary Ann told her frankly. "Please promise us, if that bug-eyed, creepy little old man ever approaches you, don't say anything to him and walk away. And if he continues pestering you, kick him where the sun don't shine and then run as fast as you can."
"And kick very hard. He's very resilient to pain." Horst added.
"Wow…what did he do to get his bad rap?" Keke only sounded more intrigued.
"That's it, we'll have to be more explicit." Mary Ann whispered to Horst.
"How about we play something else?" Horst suggested to Keke.
"Oh, alright. But can you get me something? Por favor?"
"And what would that be?" Horst asked upon which Keke gave him a devious smile.
"I'll need a pen and paper and some scotch tape."
Ten minutes later, Mary Ann and Horst found themselves hiding behind some palmettos, the former looking uncertain while the latter, on the contrary, watched with eager anticipation.
"We're too old to be doing this?" Mary Ann said for the umpteenth time.
"Oh, lighten up, Mary Ann." Horst chuckled. "You never outgrow a sense of humor."
Keke, meanwhile, was perched on a short ravenala palm, watching various lemurs and other critters pass by under her, on the lookout for the ideal target, until she saw a certain black and white lemur walking towards her with a mango under his arm and grumbling over something, likely trivial in nature.
"Good morning, Hector." Ted waved as they passed by each other.
"Drop dead, Ted." Hector said harshly, making the brown lemur wince and run away, while Keke immediately set her sights on the former.
"A crotchety old viejo? Perfect!" she laughed inwardly before lowering herself with her tail and slapping a "Kick me" sign on Hector's back.
He turned around but Keke had already pulled herself up, causing him to scratch his head in confusion before grunting and resuming his journey back home.
He passed by King Joey, who was picking his nose and saw the sign on Hector's back, which prompted him to follow the old lemur and squint.
"Ow!" Hector cried as he got kicked in the behind and turned around sharply.
"Hey, what's the big idea, ya ding-dong!"
"Ah, gee, sorry 'bout that." Joey said dumbly. "Your back told me to do it?"
"What the-" Hector turned around but the sign went with his back and Joey gave him a second kick.
"Hey!" Hector growled and accidentally dropped his mango. "Will ya stop that!"
Up in the tree, Keke covered her snout while giggling, as another Malagasy rat appeared behind Hector, read the sign and kicked him, hard enough for Hector to fall down.
"Ohhh… sorry again." Joey pouted before he and the other rat started slapping each other while crying, "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!", until Joey slipped on the mango, collided with the other rat and they squashed Hector under their combined weight.
Horst, meanwhile, was rolling on his back and splitting his sides laughing, while Mary Ann tried to stop herself from giggling.
"Horst…that's not funny." She said between snickers when Keke came back to them.
"I told you it would be fun."
"Ya didn't lie about it." Horst patted her back approvingly. "Couldn't have picked a better target!"
"Keke…" Mary Ann tried to calm herself. "You said it… wouldn't hurt anyone?"
Keke adopted an innocent look, put her paws behind her back and shuffled her foot. "Sí, I did. Not my fault the ratas gordas took it too far."
"I think the kid's earned a trip to the waterslides!" Horst cheered.
Later that day, as news of visitors from an exotic, faraway land spread through the kingdom, many of its citizens had gathered around the first aid hut at the beach, including the penguins and chimps, though the latter were too big to get through the door, so they had to watch through the window.
King Julien and his entourage were at the front of the crowd, waiting for Doctor S to give his diagnosis as he looked over the frozen kinkajou, using a sphygmomanometer and inflating the cuff wrapped around her arms until it popped.
"You have our deepest regards, Miss Victoria." Julien told the kinkajou. "We know all too well how bothersome those smelly humans can be. Just look at this guy?" he gestured at Hector, earning an annoyed look.
"They stole his mother when he was just a baby. Can you believe that?"
He then pointed at Karl. "And they provided Karl's corporate goon of a brother, Bruce, with all the income he needed to ruthlessly expand his poo-coffee empire."
"Chauncey…" Karl sniffed before barring his teeth at Kowalski, who didn't dignify him by meeting his gaze.
"Yeah, humans are just the worst." Pancho laughed.
"I don't really have anything positive to say about them." Ted shook his head.
"For once, you bozos are on the mark." Hector crossed his arms, trying not to freak out from the PTSD flashback of his childhood trauma that was currently surging through his head.
"Indeed, we take no pleasure in being their closest relatives." Mason concurred.
"The only good thing about them is that they inadvertently provide us with lots of spare junk that we then repurpose into nifty inventions." Timo added and Karl nodded in agreement while wiping the tears from his eyes.
"So, is she's going to be alright, doctor?" Julien asked the cobra.
"Interesting?" Doctor S noted with keen interest while studying the kinkajou with a magnifying glass.
Julien turned to Nurse Phantom. "Are you sure he knows what he's doing?"
"Probathy not, Juthie." The disfigured Coquerel's sifaka answered sincerely. "Buth yu know he alwaths tries his besth ta helph. So, whaths yur diagnothis, doc?"
"I say she's in tip-top shape." Doctor S giggled.
"Oh, that is very fortunate." Julien smiled and turned to his subjects. "You may all collectively sigh in relief, for our kinky-do visitor is as ripe as rain."
"But…then why hasn't she moved an inch since we've found her?" Maurice asked uneasily. Her unlinking, cross-eyed look was still giving him the heebie-jeebies.
Doctor S blinked. "I'm not sure, Maurice? Maybe… she's just shy?"
"Golly, I can relate." Ted chuckled. "Stagefright can be a powerful force if you let it control you."
"Oh, I know that feeling alright?" Timo chuckled sheepishly. "School plays were no fun for little Timo."
Private fiddled with his flippers, sporting an uneasy expression, while Kowalski just observed the kinkajou with a contemplative expression.
"Ah, that's probably it." Julien chuckled. "Keke did say that storm gave her mom a pretty nasty fight. We must ease her into our community then!"
Clearing his throat, King Julien stepped closer to their guest. "Miss Victoria, allow me to properly introduce myself. I am King Julien XIII, the magnificent king of Madagascar. I understand that it must be overwhelming being in the presence of someone as illustrious as me, but do not be shy. We are all friends here and I'm very well known for my hospitality."
"Oi." Maurice rubbed his forehead.
"I believe I speak on behalf of all my peoples when I say that we would be more than happy to offer you and your child sanctuary. We are very accepting of freaks from all walks of life and all corners of the globe, just look at the New York ones? At least you and Keke won't be needing a tailor-made hotel fit for giants. No need to thank me for it, it is merely my kingly duty."
Once he was finished, he looked at Victoria but she remained as stiff and silent as a statue.
Julien felt slightly offended by her lack of a response. "But…um…a little "thank you" wouldn't hurt? Actually, it would be falling in line with the proper etiquette when meeting royalty."
Still nothing.
"Um…can we at least shake on it?" Julien offered her his hand but got no response.
"High five?" he raised it, but still nothing.
Annoyed, Julien leaned towards Maurice and whispered, "Yeesh, these kinky-dos don't know how to act in front of royalty, do they?"
"I told ya, King Julien." His advisor replied. "Something's clearly not right with her."
"Sacrilege!" Mort ranted. "I say we behead her for her wanton disrespect of the king!"
Karl facepalmed. "I can't be the only one who noticed that there's clearly something terribly wrong with her?" he said irritably. "Just look at her!"
"Thank you." Maurice sighed in relief.
"I say, it is one thing to be petrified with fear, but I've never seen anyone turn into a literal statue?" Mason concurred.
"Yeah, and am I the only one being seriously creeped out by that wall-eyed look she's giving us?" Pancho added. "It's not natural!"
"Thank you too, Pancho." Maurice nodded.
"I beg your pardon?" a flushing Private said indignantly but was ignored when Kowalski stepped forward.
"So myopic, so unobservant." He shook his head patronizingly. "Leave this to me."
"Pffttt…and are we to believe you know what's wrong with her?" Karl asked him disdainfully.
"As a matter of fact, I do. It's so very obvious." Kowalski explained. "She clearly does not speak the same language as us!"
Maurice's brow fell. "Um…her daughter had no trouble speaking to us, so-"
"Worry not, simple folk." Kowalski raised his flippers, trying to calm down the non-existent riot. "Fortunately for all of you, I am fluent in Spanish."
"No sea tímida, señorita. Usted y su hija están a salvo aquí. Y esta isla tropical se adapta perfectamente a tus necesidades dietéticas y habituales."
"Entonces, ¿podrías hablar con nosotras?" Kowalski's confident smile faltered as he didn't elicit as much of as a blink from her.
"Maybe she speaks Portuguese instead?" Private suggested helpfully.
"Or we could poke her with a sharp spear?" Mort giggled. "Even a master of freeze tag isn't immune to that."
"Well…you've got some nerve, lady." An offended Kowalski put his flippers on his hips. "Aren't you at least going to compliment me for my flawless Spanish?"
"Great work, Señor Trápala." Karl gave him another slow clap. "Now move over."
"What are you doing, Karl?" Julien asked as the fanaloka simply grabbed Victoria's wrist and seemed to wait for something.
His eyes widened. "I…I sense no pulse?" His unnerved response caused a chorus of gasps.
"So…so she's dead?" Dorothy stammered fearfully.
"Took you all long enough." Hector rolled his eyes bitterly.
"Excuse me?" a curious Doctor S lifted his tail. "Do you need a pulse to be alive?"
"Dunno, but you aren't technically dead until rigor mortis has set in." Mort giggled creepily. "I should know, cuz Granny named me after that!"
"Yes, you do." Timo paled, barely able to talk. "If you don't have a pulse then by all accounts…" he made an involuntary snort "…you're deader than dead!"
Julien chuckled nervously. "Alright, nice try, Karl, you jokester." He patted the fanaloka on the shoulder and pulled him back. "But we do not greet our guests with such morbid humor."
"But I'm not joking, King Julien." Karl tried to explain. "She really doesn't-"
"Don't be absurd." Julien said dismissively. "If she is dead, then why is she standing up and looking at us? The deceased don't do that."
"Maybe it really is rigor mortis?" he heard Mort and gasped as he saw the mouse lemur standing on Victoria's arm and knocking on her head. "Her body has probably gone stiff after death?"
"Mort! That is no way to be treating a lady!" Julien barked. "Will you get off her!"
"Okay." Mort jumped off as Julien approached their guest once more.
"Look, Miss Victoria." He pressed his hands together. "We really do wish to help you but we cannot do that unless you tell us what you need exactly, for we know nothing about kinky-dos or life in this Guanomala. Do you understand that?"
Their guest still said nothing and Julien ultimately lost his cool.
"Nuff with the silent treatment, woman!" he grabbed her by the head and started shaking it. "Speak up-"
Her head popped off and the ringtail stumbled back with it in his hands. The onlookers gasped while a stunned Julien looked at it for a few seconds before screaming and dropping it.
Upon impact, the eyeballs popped out and hit the floor with a hard thwonk, akin to the sound of rolling marbles. The startled chimps smacked their heads against the window frame while the lemurs screamed and half of them fled the scene.
"Sweet mother of Judy!" Maurice jumped onto the table and Julien leaped into Karl's arms, nearly toppling the fanaloka over, as the left eyeball rolled past them and towards the remaining crowd, making them part. Ted lost consciousness and dropped into Dorothy's arms.
The right eyeball rolled towards Private, who squeaked in horror and likewise lost consciousness, but Kowalski didn't catch him, for he was too paralyzed by shock to act.
"I got it!" Mort cheered and ran to catch the left eyeball before holding it up, much to everyone's horror.
"Now we know why she didn't respond?" he giggled. "She can't see nothing with two glass eyes. Maybe her ears are cosmetic too?"
"I swear! This was an accident! I did not wish to actually behead her!" Julien hyperventilated and held onto Karl while watching Victoria's severed head looking at him with two black voids where her eyes should have been.
"Egad!" Mason grunted and rubbed the back of his head. "It's…it's taxidermy?"
"Taxa…what now?" Julien made a face.
"T…t-taxidermy…" Kowalski tried to collect himself. "It's…it's the art of preserving an animal's physical structure via armature or stuffing, for the purpose of exhibition or scientific examination."
"Um…can you please stop using those big words!" Julien lamented as he let got off Karl but tried to stay far away from the kinkajou's head.
"King Julien…" Karl tried to find his voice. "That's when humans kill an animal, skin it and then…" he swallowed a lump "…stuff its skin like a pillowcase and pose it like a statue."
"What?!" the king blurted.
"Yes, to them, it's a type of… trophy." Mason said grimly, eliciting another chorus of gaps.
"Barbarians! Savages!" Dorothy screamed.
"I could have lived without that knowledge…" Hector muttered.
"Yes, that sums up this ghastly practice rather nicely." The chimpanzee gave a sullen nod. Phill hand gestured in agreement.
Needless to say, the whole room was left utterly mortified, unable to peel their eyes away from the severed head. Watching a lemur getting torn apart by a fossa was gruesome, but this was so much worse.
After getting tired of the silence, Hector broke the ice. "So…eh…what are we gonna do about this?" he pointed at the head.
Julien really did not want to continue looking at it, for the sight of it was burned into his mind and would undoubtedly haunt him in his nightmares for years to come, but his eyes remained glued to it until something finally dawned on him.
"Wait…if Miss Victoria is…"
"That means Keke is an orphan?" Maurice realized with horror, and the crowd started talking among themselves.
"The poor child." Mason shook his head.
"Yes, someone's going to have to tell her?" Karl said until he noticed that all eyes were suddenly on him.
"What?" he blinked before shaking his head. "Wait? No, no, I was NOT volunteering for it."
"But someone has to do it? She'll find out eventually?" a panicked Maurice pointed out.
"Then thank you for volunteering for this task." Karl was quick to place the burden on the aye-aye.
"What?! No way, man! I couldn't bear to crush her little heart!" Maurice begged. "Come on, Karl? You're much stronger-willed than me!"
"Not this much." Karl raised his paws. "What do I look like? A mortician?"
"Relax, Mo-Mo. You don't have to do this." Julien reassured Maurice, then turned to Karl. "And neither do you. What kind of a friend would I be if I forced you guys to do this without your agree-ness?"
The aye-aye and fanaloka relaxed when Julien turned to the crowd, sporting a less-than-chill look.
"So…um? Which one of you would like to have the honor of telling Keke the tragic news? Can I see some hands?"
Needless to say, nobody raised their hand. They all just blinked in stunned silence.
"Come on, guys?" Julien implored them. "Someone has to do it? And it sure ain't gonna be me."
"What's that, Melman?" Mason cupped his ear and looked to his right. "You need our help to harvest acacia leaves? It would be our pleasure!" he grabbed Phill and ran off.
"Yeah, and Private and I need to resume our mission." Kowalski backed away and pulled a half-awake Private along, dragging his chubby bottom along the floor. "I wish you the best of luck with this…dilemma."
"Whuu..whuut 'appened?" Private mumbled before being dragged out of the hut.
"Sorry, but I need to bring Ted to bed." Dorothy excused herself while dragging her unconscious husband away.
"Yeah, and I've got… some contraband to sell. Later!" Pancho skedaddled out of there.
"Nope. Not doing it." Hector just walked off.
"Oh, shoot! I just remembered that I promised to help Mom-Bot with curtain shopping." A frightened Timo back-stepped through the door.
"I wish to learn how this "taxidermy" practice works, through reverse-engineering!" an overenthusiastic Doctor S waved with his tail and slithered out the window.
Julien's face dropped as he and his entourage found themselves completely alone.
"I don't think any of 'em want to do it, King Julien?" Maurice stated the blatantly obvious.
"I'll do it for you, King Julien!" Mort jumped and raised his hand.
"Ah can do ith…" Nurse Phantom walked up to them. "Ah duuh this stuph all thu time."
"Why thank you, Rob-wait a sec?" Julien realized something. "No! We cannot be telling her that? When I was a kid, I was totally devastated after being told that my parents left me to live on a farm. How would Keke react if she learned that her mom's been turned into a corpsy adornment?"
"Mr. Julien! Are you there!"
The ringtail panicked. "Ahhh! It is Keke! What do we do?"
"Um…dispose of the body?" Karl grimaced.
"Ah duuh thath all tha time too." Nurse Phantom shrugged.
"Yay! I've got the shovel!" Mort cheered while suddenly holding a large shovel in his left hand. "And a body bag!" he held up a trash bag with the other one.
"Fine! You two go disposing of the body!" Julien said hastily.
"I was born for this." Nurse Phantom saw the mouse lemur giving him a creepy smile while wearing an undertaker hat and holding Victoria's head.
"And I know the perfect place for dumping bodies." He winked at the sifaka.
Hearing footsteps, Julien, Maurice and Karl huddled in front of them to hide the body, sporting nervous smiles as Mary Anne and Horst walked in, with Keke hitching a ride on the former's back, their fur still soaked.
"Hey, guys." Julien sweated. "I hope Keke hasn't been too much of a handful for ya?"
"Oh, no…" Mary Ann smiled. "She's been a perfect little angel."
"And she has a great sense of humor." Horst added with a smile.
"Oh…good to hear. How…how do you like my kingdom? Not too shabby, eh?" Julien tried to maintain his strained smile, while Nurse Phantom dragged the black trash bag behind him and out of the hut.
"It's awesome, Mr. Julien." Keke jumped off the fossa and looked at the king with her big, brown eyes. "But where's mamá? I wanna show her the waterslides!"
Mort popped up from behind Karl. "Oh, your mother's de-"
Karl shut him up, and sent him tumbling back, with the back of his fist and turned around, hissing, "Just do your infernal task, you insipid imbecile!"
Mort rolled his eyes and dragged a smaller trash bag out of the hut, muttering, "Sheesh".
"She's "de" what?" Keke tilted her head, making Julien shake with dread and hyperventilate.
Maurice mumbled unintelligibly and bit on his own tail.
Seeing this, Horst got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. This was the same reaction Maurice had when they sabotaged the freak's ship. He and his wife exchanged knowing looks.
Mary Ann could tell from her king's less-than-subtle anxiety that he was definitely hiding something.
"Your mom?" Julien scrambled to think of an answer. "Your mom…um…isn't here right now. She has left us."
Maurice and Karl jolted while the little kinkajou gave him a very sad look and her eyes teared up.
"What?" she pouted. "She…left me?"
"Um…yes, she did." Julien's mind raced. "But…it was for your own safety, Keke. She had no choice."
A lightbulb suddenly went over his head. "You see…" he elaborated "…your mom turned out to be a super-awesome undercover super-spy! And she's on a mission to…track down and defeat a crazy dolphin mad scientist who is trying to take over the world!"
"He's not really going with that?" a dumbfounded Karl thought.
"As a matter of fact, those commando penguins you saw are part of the same secret organization and she actually highjacked that ship on purpose so she could rendezvous with them here, on Madagascar, so…so they could…exchange vital intel! That meddling monsoon just sidetracked her a bit."
"She…she's a super-spy?" Keke didn't know what to think of it. On one hand, finding out something like that about your parent was undeniably awesome to any child. On the other hand, her mom had still abandoned her.
"Oh, yes. The best in the business." Julien chuckled nervously. "And she loves you very much, which is why she had to leave you here for your own safety. To keep you out of the crossfire. Too many enemies are hounding her. And hey, you got a pretty sweet gig! There is no better place to crash while your super-spy parent is away on a mission than King Julien's kingdom, where everyone is cool with each other and we have nonstop parties!"
"Wow…" Keke looked aside, trying to process this. "I can't believe I complained to my amigos that mamá was boring? She sure fooled me?"
She chuckled smugly and rubbed her paws. "Those stupid coatis will be SO jealous."
"Um…yes?" an uncertain Horst rolled with it. "Guess that comes with the spy business?"
While she was distracted, Julien leaned towards Maurice and whispered, "Tell those silly penguins to play along with this. And my peeps too. Go, go, go…" she shoved the aye-aye onward.
Julien cleared his throat. "Horst? Mary Ann? Since you seem to have grown fond of our little visitor, I appoint you as her guardians until further notice."
"What?" Horst blinked. "Us?"
"Oh, we would be delighted, King Julien." Was Mary Ann's enthusiastic response before turning to her husband.
"Horst? How about you show Keke the Cove of Wonders again? She didn't get to explore it last night. I'll be with you in a jiffy."
"Cove of Wonders? What's that?" Keke asked eagerly.
"Me? But I-"
"Now." Mary Ann said firmly and the blue-eyed lemur got the memo.
"Oh, right, right." Horst nodded and grabbed Keke's paw, pulling her along. "Come on, kiddo. You're gonna love this place."
"But I don't need a babysitter!" Keke whined. "I'm too old for that."
"Oh, don't consider us babysitters." Horst smiled awkwardly. "Just consider us your…hosts."
Once they were out of earshot, Mary Ann's face fell into a sullen grimace and she turned to Julien and Karl.
"So, I take it her mother's dead?" she asked frankly. "I figured something was amiss with her."
"Yes." Karl simply nodded. "Dead, stuffed and mounted, as a matter of fact. You don't wish to know the unsightly details."
"I certainly don't, but I got to see it anyway." Julien shuddered before looking at the fossa. "Um…I hope this isn't inconveniencing you?"
"No, not at all…" Mary Ann said somberly. "The poor dear…she needs someone to look out for her. It's a jungle out there."
"Yeah, I reckon that without any guardians she'd be an easy target for raptors, snakes or one of Bone-Fossa's lackeys?" Karl figured.
Hearing that name, Mary Ann became enraged, let out a low growl and dug her claws into the floor. "Just let him try, I'll rip his mangy hide off!"
Julien and Karl took a step back.
"Ah…I see you are very enthusiastic about your task." Julien chuckled. "That's good. Now, if you'll excuse me…"
He rubbed his head and headed towards the door. "I'll be needing to find lotsa brain bleach if I wish to ever sleep soundly again…"
Yeah, I don't want this story to be too angsty, so I pondered about how to make the plot point of a child getting orphaned darkly humorous, and "taxidermy terror" came to mind, followed by Julien giving the ye ol "they went to live on a farm excuse" cover story, except he, naturally, put a more exciting spin on it XD
And poor Maurice and Private. Both want peace, but their comrades' egos keep clashing and the other penguins just can't bring themselves to apologize for their misgivings. King Julien and Skipper started off on bad terms, and now their respective haughty poindexters hate each other as well, even more so than the former two. Of course, Mort (who in this setting is pretty much the lemurs' Rico) thinks that murder is the only solution to this conflict.