Mary Ann was always cautious not to lose her temper. Granted, when living in King Julien's kingdom entailed being on an indefinite trial to prove that she was not a bloodthirsty beast with nothing but prosimian prime cuts on her mind, she had no other option, but it at least gave her plenty of opportunities for practice. Suffice to say, she was used to ostracization and brushing off insults directed at her or Horst, be it subtle or not-so-subtle.
Trying to explain to a disgruntled child to do the same, on the other hand, was something she was not prepared for.
"For the last time, Keke. We are not mad at you." She reiterated for the umpteenth time as the trio sat at the table, with Keke folding her arms and looking away from the adults.
"You sure sounded mad back there." Keke grumbled.
Mary Ann sighed. "I'm not mad, I just don't want you to engage in such behavior ever again. Violence is not the answer."
"She means that you shouldn't sock other kids." Horst added.
"But he was making fun of me!"
"That's no excuse, there are better ways of handling disagreements." Mary Ann tried to explain. "There's the diplomatic approach, be the better person."
Keke huffed, "Then why didn't he try it? Why do I have to be the one to do it?"
Mary Ann scrambled to think of an answer. Empty platitudes weren't very effective when countered with questions.
"Because…because it works better, and it doesn't lead to bloody noses."
"It got him to shut his trap." Keke said wryly.
"Keke." Mary Ann said sternly. "That's enough. I don't want to hear such….crude responses."
"You should listen to her, kiddo. Mary Ann always knows best." Horst added but Keke sent them an unconvinced glare.
"Does talking ever work for you santurronas?"
The question made the fossa freeze. How were you supposed to be honest if honesty flew in the face of your own advice?
Horst chuckled awkwardly. "Well, I tried it many times, and…it only encouraged folks to be even more hostile towards me."
He was whacked in the back of the head by Mary Ann's tail.
"You're not helping." she hissed to him.
"What was I supposed to say?" the bemused blue-eyed lemur asked.
"See, he gets it." Keke spoke up in annoyance. "Why are you defending them? Those cabronas were making fun of you too! Even after I apologized!"
Mary Ann was visibly stunned, she hadn't counted on Keke picking that up.
"I…I'm sure you…misinterpreted their remarks. Adults always try to talk things out and you should take notes from them."
Horst scratched his head. "Which adults are you talking about, hun?"
Mary Ann pressed her tail against his mouth but it was too late. Keke's scowl deepened.
"I'm not stupid, I know what I heard!" she said with growing frustration. "They talked to you like you were dumb or something?"
Mary Ann deflated. "Alright…so maybe they don't always talk things out per se."
"So you say they are always mean to you?"
"Yeah, pretty much." Horst shrugged when Mary Ann silenced him again.
"No…I mean, I know they were…not very nice to us. But that's exactly why you can't be acting up in public. People like that will talk about us, talk badly about us. We don't want that kind of attention."
"Yes, if we don't comply, they will pester us even more." Horst added after spitting out some fur. "People like Tammy love nothing more than spreading scandalous gossip."
"So you're saying they're matonas? Big bullies who will pick on you no matter what?" Keke concluded. "Why shouldn't we kick their persos?"
"I told you…" Mary Ann scowled. "Violence is not the answer."
"Then let's beat them at their game! We can talk bad about them!" Keke insisted and jumped on the table. "I can think of ten ugly rumors for the vaca gorda!"
"Huh…never thought about that?" Horst rubbed his chin before being silenced again.
"We can't do that." Mary Ann insisted.
"Why not?" Keke was growing increasingly frustrated. Why won't adults ever do what needs to be done?
"Well…we lack backup for one." Horst said sincerely upon which Mary Ann gave up. There was no point in trying to shut him up, not that it would help anyway.
"It's not that simple….it's….we can't….they can't…" the fossa twitched until she clutched her forehead and sighed. "Look….some folks are just….judged more than others."
"Why?" Keke made a face.
"Cuz they think we're a bunch of weirdos." Horst admitted sullenly.
"Why? I see nothing wrong with you?"
Mary Ann shifted. "Well…it might have something to do with me not being a lemur? This is a lemur kingdom after all."
"Why is that a problem?" Keke asked.
"Well…lemurs prefer to have other lemurs for neighbors, they don't necessarily appreciate other animals…"
Mary Ann immediately regrated saying that as she saw Keke's eyes widen. "Wait? You mean the other kids won't like me because I'm not a lemur?"
"That's not why I was implying!" Mary Ann panicked but Keke was already in deep thought.
"Is that why they were staring at me like I had two heads?" Keke recalled and her ears dropped.
"There, there…" Horst patted her back. "I'm sure it's not that bad. Sure…the new kid tends to be shunned by everyone else, but eventually…"
Keke slapped his hand away and her face hardened.
"Who cares!" frustration crept into her voice. "If they mess with me, I'll get back on them! I'll prank them all!"
Mary Ann felt a shiver run down her spine. Such behavior would only elicit more public scrutiny.
"Keke!" The fossa spoke up. "You can't be pranking people either."
The kinkajou gawked at her in shock. "Why not? You let me prank that old viejo?"
"That was a one-time thing. If our neighbors see you doing that-"
"Then they won't see me." Keke crossed her arms. "I can be very sneaky."
"Well, she sure got the drop on ol' Hector?" Hector snickered to his wife but shut up after receiving a cross look.
"Horst." She hissed again. "Little. White. Lies. Use them."
"No." Mary Ann turned to Keke. "We need to keep up appearances, act like model citizens, which means no fighting, no pranks,-"
"So I can't even have fun?" Keke pouted, clearly not pleased with the conditions.
"It's for your own good…you need to get assimilated and bad first impressions can be hard to shake off." Mary Ann tried to explain. She knew that better than anyone.
"That's not fair!" Keke stomped her foot. "All because some culos-"
"And no cussing in another language." Mary Ann added.
"How do you know I'm doing that!"
Mary Ann sent her an annoyed look. "If you don't want to be patronized, practice what you preach."
"Fine!" Keke threw her arms up. "Then you stop being such asshats! Is that better!"
"Will you just listen!" Mary Ann suddenly yelled, the growl returning to her voice, and slammed her paw on the table, but regrated it after seeing both Keke and Horst flinching in fear.
"Sorry…where did that come from?" she chuckled nervously and tried to pull herself together. "Look? How about you go to your room and try to think things over, while we prepare dinner-"
"You're grounding me now?" Keke was taken aback.
Mary Ann swallowed a lump. It sounded different in her head.
"No, no…" she raised her paws. "I meant…eh…I think you need a nap or…"
"Nap? I'm not a bebé!" Keke scowled angrily. "And I don't even have my own room here!"
"Fine, then please, just go to our room and wait until dinner is-"
"You're not my mamá! You're running my life! I hate you!" Keke snapped at her and jumped off, running towards the bedroom.
"I wish I was never born!" she yelled before slamming the door shut.
Now alone, Mary Ann went into full-blown panic mode and shook her husband.
"Horst! What do we do! This escalated so fast!?"
"Wow, t-take it e-easy." A dizzy Horst tried to calm her. "That was just empty posturing. Kids do that all the time."
Mary Ann's brow furrowed. "Are you sure?"
"Absolutely positively." Horst assured her. "Kids will try to guilt-trip you into agreeing with them, I did the same with my parents, word for word."
Inside the room, Keke was pressing her ear against the door before snapping her fingers. "Ay caramba…", she grumbled before slumping against the door and folding her arms.
"Wait? You were adopted?" Mary Ann asked.
"What? Oh, no." Horst guffawed before realizing something and rubbing his chin. "Huh? Was that why it never worked with them?"
Right then, they heard a growl and Mary Ann soon realized that it was coming from her stomach.
"Dammit…not now…" she slapped her forehead. She knew that when she was hungry, there was no postponing it.
"Yeesh, talk about lousy timing…" Horst lamented before giving her a pat on the shoulder. "Guess you better find something to eat, as long as it's not a lemur. Don't worry, Mary Ann. I'll take care of things here."
She gave him a worried look. "Are you sure you can handle her? She's very upset and-"
"Sure I'm sure." Horst pointed at himself. "She'll probably stay there sulking till you come back. We can't risk you going into a frenzy and tearing some poor schmuck to shreds."
Another rumble from her gut reaffirmed that and Mary Ann gave in. "Fine, just make sure she doesn't get up to any shenanigans. I don't want her to hate us."
"You can count on me." Horst assured her. "And don't fret about Keke, this will blow over in no time. She just needs time to cool off."
Reluctantly, Mary Ann turned around and walked towards the door, and looked over her shoulder.
"We have to communicate with her better, that's vital for any family unit. Take care." She told Horst before running into the jungle.
"Communicate better?" Horst pondered about it and got an idea. He was soon rummaging through his wife's book collection and found what he was looking for. A book titled "Español for Dummies".
Sitting at the table, he opened it but groaned as soon as he glossed over the first page. He wasn't a big fan of reading but if Mary Ann thought this could help, then he had to give it a shot.
"This can't be too hard?" he scratched his head. "It's just a wholly different language?"
Meanwhile, a certain hoity-toity royal couple was having a spot of tea in front of the multi-story hotel made from bamboo, after mutually agreeing that they were in desperate need of a break after a stressful day of being pampered and catered to around the clock by hundreds of servants. They were sitting together at a huge dinner table that would normally hold most of the kingdom during special events, while a quartet of fork-marked lemur violinists was playing classical music in the background.
"I say, Barty. Our son might be a bit of a pickleheaded jollywag, but he always does an impeccable job providing us with proper accommodations." Julienne said before taking another sip.
"Very true, dear." Barty conquered. "The rest of the hotel staff is certainly an improvement over those simian bellhops."
"But still." Julienne scowled with displeasure. "Those violinists are quite subpar."
"Oh, I have to agree." Barty nodded. "Where did our son recruit them from? I believe their, for lack of a better term, "talents" would be more appreciated at some dingy pub."
A screech was heard as the heartbroken quartet stopped playing, and one of them dropped his bow and ran off crying.
"But I suppose he deserves a little leeway." Barty continued. "Given that our arrival was on such short notice."
"Oh, you guys are always welcomed with open arms!"
Speak of the devil, their not-so-proper son arrived on the scene, accompanied by Maurice. The latte noticed that neither Barty nor Julienne looked particularly thrilled to see them.
"Mom! Big Pappa. What's happenin'!" Julien shot them two finger guns. "I hope that your stay has been most enjoyable."
"It's adequate." Julienne shrugged. "But those musicians are simply dreadful."
"Very dreadful." Barty agreed. "It's only appropriate that some heads roll for this offense."
The remaining violinists flinched in fear and clutched their throats, and so did Maurice.
Julien tensed uneasily. "Um…you're meaning that in the metaphorical sense? Yes?"
He received unamused looks in return. Julien paused, not knowing what to say? He didn't want to offend his folks by calling them "old-fashioned". His mom's tiara and daddy's dickey were very regal and by no means old fashion!
"Oh, right? Um…we don't do the execution thingy anymore." The king fiddled with his fingers.
"Since when?" his mother asked. "It's a tradition that goes back generations."
"Um…I believe since the season two finale, where I almost got blown to kingdom come, which gave me a new appreciation for the preciousness of life." Julien reminisced fondly.
"And because it's freakin' immoral, man!" Maurice blurted before Julien pressed his hand over the aye-aye's mouth.
"What Maurice is meaning to say is that in my kingdom, we prefer to give servants stern lectures should they fail at their tasks, and demand that they do better next time." Julien explained.
"You hear that, you fumbling fiddlers." he looked at the musicians and waged his finger scoldingly. "Shame on you. Are you not realizing that you are playing in the presence of royalty? You better pick up the slack or…or I shall be revoking your music licenses!"
"Seems like a rather ineffective way of governing if you ask me?" Julienne said poshly.
"How dreadfully true, dear. The youth these days." Barty shook his head.
"Anyway…" Julien turned back to his parents. "I'm sure you are wondering about the reasons behind my visit, given my busy royal schedule and all-"
"To be frank, we have busy schedules as well." Barty told him. "As a matter of fact, our stay so far has been most exhausting, which is why your mother and I are enjoying some leisure time. So make it quick, old boy."
Julien's face lit up. "Exhausting schedules? Oh, I get it." He gave his parents several winks, causing them to exchange confused glances.
"See…" he smugly elbowed Maurice. "And to think some Doubting Debbies were thinking that my parents aren't busy lemurs? Oh, how naïve such folks are."
"Eh…yes. I plan to monopolize the beauty parlor for the remainder of the day." Julienne said while adjusting her tiara.
"And I have a hankering for a round of golf." Barty added. "Speaking of which? Your timing couldn't be any better, Michael."
Maurice's ears dropped with dread. "Lemme guess, you need a caddy?" he groaned.
"Precisely." Barty affirmed before his smile faltered. "Um…you do know what a caddy is, right?"
"Right, right, "beauty parlors" and "golf", I fully understand the meaning behind your multi-layered remarks." Julien giggled impishly, again, much to his parents' confusion.
Shifting, Maurice hoped against hope that he could jog the royal couples' memory.
"But I don't suppose you have any other plans while you're here?" he asked idly.
"Barty, he's saying words again?" Julienne whispered to her husband.
"I'm jus' wondering?" Maurice shrugged. "Perhaps yall planning on commemorating a very special day? A special day that saw the arrival of a very important person? One very close to ya perhaps?"
Julien suddenly flicked him on the ear, making the aye-aye yelp.
"What the heck, man?!"
"Shush, Maurice." The ringtail chastised him. "Nobody likes a party-pooping spoiler."
Maurice grumbled, when Barty walked up behind him and flicked him on the ear too.
"Ow! Hey, stop that!"
Barty chuckled. "My, my, that is very amusing? Wouldn't you agree, dear?"
"Very much, his oversized ears are so…flickable."
Blushing, Maurice covered his ears while being graced with the couple's snotty laughter. "They're not that big."
"Yes, they are." Julien grabbed them and stretched them out. "You could fly up to meet the Sky Gods with these?"
"Cut it out…" Maurice pushed him away and covered them again.
"Ah, I'm just messing with ya, Mo-Mo." Julien threw his arm over Maurice's back. "We all have our imperfections. Well…not me, or any member of my blue-blooded bloodline, but we aren't judgmental of other people's blemishes."
"Speaking of imperfections? If I may be so bold, it does not appear that you've exercised your due diligence in regards to your servant's…dietary preferences." Julienne added while covering her mouth as a giggle threatened to escape her.
"Indeed. No wonder the kingdom experiences mango shortages." Barty did the same. Suffice to say, him being no Slim Jim either was completely lost on the aging prince.
"For your information, I happen to be a special breed of aye-aye!" a flushing Maurice insisted. "I'm one of the beautiful ones!"
"And that's supposed to be high praise?" Barty arched his eyebrow in honest confusion, making the aye-aye seethe.
"Probably not." Julien shrugged. "His people tried to sacrifice him for it."
Maurice clutched his head. What was he doing? He couldn't let their condescending commentary sidetrack him.
"Nevermind that." He continued. "Are you absolutely sure you haven't forgotten-"
"Anyways." Julien pushed him aside and sat next to his mother, before throwing his arms over her and Barty and pulling them closer. "See how much fun we were having together mocking those less fortunate than us? We should be doing that far more often. The mocking of the less fortunate is optional though."
Barty used his travel scepter to push himself away while Julienne sported a queasy expression as she slowly pried her son's arm off her like it was contaminated.
"Busy schedules or not, that doesn't mean we can't spend quality time as a family?" Julien continued eagerly. "There's no rush, we have all week to get things done."
"My, what a ghastly idea." Julienne said before adding. "I mean, as the king, I'm sure you have more pressing issues to attend to?"
"Nah, I love getting my nails done." Julien showed her his hand and his nails promptly sparkled.
He then elbowed his father in jest. "And I'm sure I can learn to use a golf club without giving anyone a concussion."
"Eh…splendid…" the portly prince said with uncertainty.
"And you're quite certain there's nothing that requires your immediate presence?" Julienne asked, in a tone that implied that she was very much hoping that was the case.
"Yup, everything's been pretty chill in my kingdom lately. I am such a great ruler after all." Julien bragged while checking out his nails. "I'm sure you're immensely proud of my accomplish-"
"And what about those protesters?" Barty pointed ahead with his scepter.
"Protestors?" Julien blinked before seeing a group of female lemurs shouting and holding up picket signs saying "Fossa Foster", crossed out with red paint.
"There he is!" Tammy angrily marched up to Julien. "Where do you get off endangering innocent children?"
"What do you mean "endangering children"?" a befuddled Maurice asked.
Julien groaned and rolled his eyes. "What is it now, Tammy. Whatever it may be, can't it wait until later, or never. You are intruding on my quality time with my parents."
But Tammy was not deterred. She pointed at him, making him flinch. "Your mommy and daddy issues can wait! Your latest decree is simply unacceptable."
"How unfortunate, son. Far be it from me to keep you from your royal obligations of dealing with pesky plebeians." Julien heard his mother say dismissively as she was already being carried off on a sedan chair, waving with a hanky. "Ta-ta."
"But, mommy!" Julien cried in desperation.
"Quite right." Barty threw a cart bag filled with golf clubs at Maurice, which the latter barely caught. "Step lively now, Monroe. I'm sure the exercise will do you good."
A small smirk appeared on Maurice's face and he dropped the bag. "My apologies, Prince Barty, but as the royal advisor, my presence during audiences with our citizens takes priority."
Barty huffed and crossed his arms but didn't argue.
Feeling uneasy with his father watching, Julien turned to the crowd of outraged housewives.
"Fine, what is the cause behind your moral outrage this time, Tammy." Julien asked snidely and put his hands on his hips.
"You leaving an innocent orphan in the paws of a bloodhungry fossa, that's what." Tammy scowled.
"Exactly, you had some hair-brained ideas before, but this time you simply went too far!" Rebecca added.
"You mean Keke?" Julien wondered. "I don't see what the big deal is? Mary Ann and Horst found her, so I saw it fit to leave her in their care."
"Ah, so you admit to pawning her off to that nutcase and his carnivorous spouse so it wouldn't inconvenience you!" Tammy accused him.
"I remember hearing about that street urchin from Guatemala?" Barty rubbed his chin. "I suppose feeding them to your personal attack fossa is an effective way of thinning out the surplus population."
"What?" Julien looked at his father in shock before laughing. "Oh, no. You misunderstand, Big Papa. I love children. And I'm very accepting of all creatures. Mary Ann is my homie and I personally "lemurized her"."
"And then she turned savage and tried to eat us all." Tammy was quick to remind him.
"She…she's got a point, your majesty?" Maurice had to admit.
"So what?" Julien glowered at him. "Mr. Alex also had his savage episode. Even the best carnivore can have a bad day if their tummy is rumbling too much."
"That's completely different, King Julien." Tammy argued. "Mr. Alex is a respected celebrity, we can't just judge him by the same standards as Mary Ann."
"Yes, she's a fossa. The Frank-forsaken killers that live and breathe to destroy us!" Rebecca lamented.
"My husband still hasn't returned." A black and white lemur dropped her sign and sobbed into her hands. "That she-devil must have eaten him!"
"We're here for you, Gertie. He's in a better place now." Rebecca comforted her.
"Don't be ridiculous." Julien chuckled. "Mary Ann's been babysitting Keke all day, she had no time for hunting and stalking. And there are plenty of other jungle predators in which your husband's chewed-up remains could be residing?"
Maurice facepalmed as the king started counting off his fingers. "All the bad fossa? Birds of prey? Big snakes? The rare croc who isn't a total pansy? Sharks that randomly show up in jacuzzies? See? Let's not jump to conclusions."
Gertie started crying hysterically and ran off while the other lemurs glared at the king, who offered a nervous grin.
Unbeknownst to them, someone was watching them from the thicket and his eyes fell on the lemur that broke away from the group.
Maurice cleared his throat. "King Julien, perhaps leaving Keke in Mary Ann's care wasn't the best idea?"
"Yes, can you please settle this custody issue quickly, so I can have my caddy?" Barty interjected in a snippy tone, tapping his foot.
Not wanting to upset his father, Julien tried to think fast. He couldn't do Keke dirty either, she deserved to have a nice place to live and someone to take care of her. He understood the soul-crushing, mentally scarring loneliness of being a parentless child better than anyone.
"Psst…Maurice." He leaned down to the aye-aye. "Should I use my royal status to dismiss them, or should I do something?"
"You should hear 'em out. These ladies are masters at spreading gossip." Maurice whispered back. "If word reaches the rest of the kingdom that ya jus' dismissed their complaints, it could hurt your approval rating."
"Not my approval rating!" Julien chewed on his fingers and immediately addressed the crowd.
"Okay, you have the king's attention." He straightened himself. "So, lemme get this straight? You are requesting that one of you be taking care of Keke while her mom is…." he gulped "…away?"
The female lemurs gasped collectively.
"Frank, no." Tammy looked downright offended. "That's an awful idea."
Maurice scowled, now having second thoughts. "Why?"
The females looked at him like he was a clueless moron.
"Lemurs are meant to raise other lemurs, same for…whatever Kelly is. It's what nature intended. Doing otherwise would be…confusing to the poor child, harmful to her psyche even…which could lead to greater issues down the line."
"Yes, she got into a scuffle with my poor son today! For no reason whatsoever!" Rebecca was outraged. "That wretched fossa's influence is already corrupting her!"
Befuddled, Julien scratched his head. "How? I'm not seeing how those things…connect to one another?"
"Pffft…of course you don't." Tammy sneered. "Did you ever raise a child?"
"Well…I briefly took in Mort?"
"My point exactly." Tammy crossed her arms. "No, the best course of action would be, in the opinion of us actual parents, to offer the girl a safe and nurturing environment at Ms. Temminck's Foster Home." She promptly pointed at a dilapidated and cobweb-infested orphanage, which was accompanied by a scary chord and a zap of lightning.
In front of it was a withered and hunchbacked old pangolin with misty glasses and a pink scarf, who offered a creepy smile and waved at them with her giant claws. Julien and Maurice cringed.
"Maurice…" Julien leaned toward his advisor again "…we can't send Keke to that spooky orphanage."
"You know we can hear you from four feet away?" Tammy glared at them.
Rebecca huffed. "If you're so indecisive, King Julien, I suggest we let our fellow lemurs decide."
Tammy grinned. "Stellar idea, we'll let them vote on the matter. I always have faith in our people's better judgment."
"Now just wait a minute, there will be no exercise in democracy over this tincy-wincy issue." a panicked Julien spoke up. "I have a better idea."
"And what would that be?" Tammy narrowed her eyes.
"It's….ehh…" Julien fumbled before whispering to his advisor. "Maurice, what is my idea again?"
"I know!" Maurice said. "How 'bout we give Mary Ann and Horst a week-long trial to show that they are capable caregivers? Should they fail, we'll consider… other options with Keke."
"Eh…yes!" Julien was quick to agree. "Glad I thought of such an ingenious idea."
Tammy looked uncertain before chortling with brash glee. "Fine with me. That fossa will bite herself in the foot in two days tops!"
"CAW!"
They all looked up and saw a large bird circling in the air.
"Hawk!" one of the protestors screamed and they all ran off.
"Every lemur for himself!" Tammy screamed.
Maurice panicked, but Julien grinned giddily and his eyes sparkled.
"It's her! She has arrived at last!" the king exclaimed with uninhibited joy.
"What? Who?" the terrified Maurice asked.
"Clover, duh! I requested for her to come!" Julien jumped up and down like a kid waiting to open their Christmas present.
"Clover?" Maurice grew a big smile and was on the verge of tears.
"I dare say, who is this Clover you speak of?" Barty approached him.
Maurice gave him an incredulous look. "Ya for real? Clover? As in your son's royal bodyguard for years, and your brother-in-law's prior? You met her countless times?"
Barty just stared at him.
"Y'know, orange fur, green eyes? British accent? Deadly martial arts expert? Hates frivolous fun? Conspiracy nut? Granddaughter of Rose the Warrior? Current Queen of the Mountain Lemurs?"
Barty just blinked, while Maurice's face scrunched up.
"You were present at her wedding with King Sage!"
Barty tapped his chin. "You mean my son's high school sweetheart with the misshapen hand? Wasn't she eaten by the fossa?"
"Oi…forget 'bout it…" Maurice deflated.
No sooner did he say that; the hawk's rider jumped down, their form obscured by the blinding sun.
"Clover!" Julien squealed with excitement.
Barty and Julienne couldn't even remember their own son after being away for years, so I doubt they could be bothered to remember a lowly commoner like Clover after not seeing her for seven months XD