Mary Ann couldn't recount another occasion that made her wish so badly that the ground just opened and swallowed her up. Getting mauled by her former comrades, getting pummeled by Clover, being captured by Koto and slated for a very elaborate and painful execution, all of these were preferable to her current predicament; being caught red-handed and surrounded by the scandalized, judgmental glares of the public, punctuated by scathing and condescending whispers among the crowd.
"The little cutie is being fostered by the fossa? Really?" Gloria whispered to Marty from the sides. "What was KJ thinking?"
Her heart racing, Mary Ann's gaze met Tammy's once more. The portly lemur was sporting a smile that oozed with smug satisfaction, which made Mary Ann's blood boil.
Watching from the sidelines, Julien couldn't help but feel partially responsible for Mary Ann's situation. It might not have been the best idea to immediately make himself noticed by the crowd, but he was convinced his grand return would divert all attention away from Mary Ann and Keke, allowing them to make a clean getaway.
"Well, I'd tell everyone, "I told ya so"…" Tammy bragged. "…but what's the point? Any bozo with half a brain would have seen this coming."
"Though to be honest…" she feigned shock "…even I thought you'd least last a day without letting that wayward child get swooped up by the dreaded lemur-reaper."
"That's not what happened!" Mary Ann blurted. "I…I was away hunting."
"Oh, so you left her wandering alone then?" Tammy huffed, leading to shocked gasps from the onlookers.
"No!" Mary Ann hastily added. "I had to feed myself so I wouldn't succumb to my hunger-"
"And maul that poor thing to shreds." Tammy gestured at Keke, eliciting even more shock and abject horror from the crowd.
"How terrible." A red ruffed lemur to Tammy's right nearly fainted.
"The humanity!" a brown lemur to her left said in a shrill cry.
"That's not true, I left her in Horst's care while I was on my hunting trip." Mary Ann retorted.
"Oh, and where is he now?" Tammy looked around before smirking at the fossa. "Off in a corner battling with sobriety?"
Mary Ann paled, not knowing how to respond, but Keke spoke up. "No, he stayed at their casa, watching me. But I snuck past him because I'm just that clever."
Mary Ann sent her an unnerved look but realized this was better than saying he fell asleep on the job.
"Ah, yes." Tammy scrutinized the kinkajou. "And everyone's been talking and complaining about your pranking spree."
She tutted and glared at Mary Ann. "Do you call this proper behavior for a well-adjusted child?"
"I wasn't alone, I was hanging out with King Julien." Keke crossed her arms and glanced at the ringtail. "The most respected authority figure in the kingdom. You call that bad behavior?"
Julien was unsure what to do, so Masikura, who was perched on his shoulder, told him, "I think you owe the fossa support after she aided you in your time of need, as strange as that might be."
"Yes…" Karl scowled. "I counted on us distracting the crowd but that catty busybody ruined everything."
"I know…" Julien sighed in a small voice before bracing himself and stepping ahead.
"Attention, my peoples!" he raised his hands up, getting between Mary Ann and Tammy. "I think this has all been a humongous misunderstanding."
"King Julien, this matter is none of your concern." Tammy insisted but the ringtail was quick to counter.
"Oh, I beg to be differing, Tammy." He stated and put his hands on his hips. "Mary Ann and Horst were not flaking on their responsibilities, I merely gave Keke the privilege of spending the day in my kingly presence, an experience every growing kid in my kingdom deserves."
"My son never spent a day with you?" one of Tammy's companions lamented.
"My kids didn't either."
"Neither did my daughter." someone in the crowd added, followed by many other complaints.
"Yes, yes, but they aren't cool, exotic visitors from another country, or a sharp-witted pranking wiz, so they don't count." Julien waved his hand dismissively. "But what matters is…"
He patted Keke's head. "…that Keke was in no way neglected at home; she was simply granted an opportunity to be my companion for a day. As she so awesomely put it, she was hanging out with the most respected authority figure in the kingdom, exposed to the best possible influence that will shape her into a model citizen."
Enthralled by their king's reasoning, the other lemurs talked and whispered among themselves; as if seeing this scandal from a wholly different perspective. Only one lemur wasn't swayed.
"Ya mean by running around like a hooligan and harassing everyone?" Hector's gravelly voice cut through the noise and he looked at everyone incredulously. "Don't tell me you're all buying this crap?"
"Of course, Hector." Julien laughed. "Knowing how to indulge in frivolous merriment is vital for a productive and not-boring society, and the next generation needs to be imbued with a good sense of humor. Lighten up a bit, you old fuddy-duddy."
"Yeah, don't be such a stick-in-the-mud, hulio." Pancho playfully elbowed Hector in the arm.
Hector glowered at him. "You do remember that you had to surgically remove a toilet from your ass, right? Last night? And Doctor S was the freaking surgeon!"
"That silly little misunderstanding was kinda funny in retrospect, Ted." Dorothy chuckled to her husband, who blushed but tried to smile.
"And they gotcha pretty good with those binoculars, Al." Marty guffawed and pointed at his big cat friend, who sported a peeved look.
"But…they made me think I was a goner?" Melman pointed out.
The zebra sent him an amused look. "Mel, you think you're a goner every day."
"Huh…guess you're right?" Melman gave a small chuckle before noticing a dark leaf stuck to his leg. "Wait?! Is that a mole!"
"See, everyone?" Julien said, ignoring Hector's protesting, as did everyone else as they laughed along with the king, drowning the old grouch out. Maurice just shook his head in disbelief, figuring there was no more need for damage control.
Julien continued, "Keke was perfectly safe and under adult supervision all this time. She just needed some space from her foster family."
"And did she ask for permission to leave?" Tammy was quick to ask while eyeing Mary Ann. "Oh, wait? You weren't even there to pass judgment, were ya? You left that to Horst?"
Mary Ann growled. "I told you, I was out hu-"
"And you just admitted that you had to sneak away from Horst!" Tammy remembered and pointed at Keke, who swallowed a lump. "So you had an argument I wager? Or did he not treat you well?"
Julien chortled. "Of course not. She just found Horst unbearably boring and preferred hanging out with a living legend. I doubt anyone here would say she was trading down. Am I right, guys?"
His subjects laughed and many voiced their agreement. Mary Ann didn't know if she should be relieved or offended by this.
Tammy narrowed her eyes at the kinkajou. "But you admitted that you didn't ask for permission to accompany King Julien?"
Julien gulped as the portly lemur continued, "So that either means Horst was being neglectful…or…"
Julien realized that this was another occasion where he had to be selfless. He hated doing that, as his upcoming admission would surely harm his approval rating, but he couldn't bail on Keke and Mary Ann now that they were in hot water.
Tammy shifted her glare at him. "…or the king encouraged an impressionable young child to run off without informing her guardians about her whereabouts!"
"Scandalous!" the brown lemur next to her covered her mouth in horror.
"Fine, you got me…" Julien hung his head in defeat. "I knew Keke had given Horst the slip and told her that she didn't need to ask for permission to leave and be my pranking protégé, despite her protests…and…it was all my fault that we got swooped up by the eagle."
The crowd was stupefied and Willie fainted again, as Julien sighed and raised his arm. "Yup, I am giving a royal confession. I foolishly held up a bottle cap like this, and it attracted the eagle."
"Are eagles attracted to bottle caps? Is that a thing?" Ted scratched his head and Dorothy shrugged.
Tammy drew a breath but Julien stopped her, knowing what she would say. "And yes. I did try to cover up my royal screw-up."
Looking at Karl, he decided to mix his lie with a bit of truth. "And when the eagle flew past Karl and Mary Ann, I begged my head of security not to tell anyone, so he went after me with just Mary Ann. She was determined to keep Keke safe at all costs, being the responsible guardian she is and all."
The crowd murmured among themselves, shaken by the king's admission of guilt.
"Golly, KJ." Ted shook his head. "I don't want to be mean, but that was seriously not cool. You put a kid in danger and wouldn't own up to it?"
"I know." Julien shrugged sheepishly. "My bad."
"You know we didn't think less of you after your many previous screw-ups? Most of which had much bigger consequences?" Dorothy added. "Why would you do such a thing?"
"There you have it, everyone!" Xixi landed in front of the king, holding her mike up. "King Julien publicly admitted that he's willing to endanger children in order to cover up his own mistakes!"
Julien tensed in fear. "Now w-wait? Let's not phrase it like that-"
"Also! Karl shamelessly refused to give credit to Mary Ann, so he could boost his own public image!" The toucan added, gesturing at the fanaloka. "Egotistical much?"
A flustered Karl seethed and clenched his teeth.
Irate, Tammy swiftly grabbed Xixi's mike. "If you want some shocking news, birdy, allow me to file some missing lemur reports!"
"Missing lemurs?" the toucan felt like a prospector that just struck gold. "Do go on."
"Yes, me and my friends haven't seen Gertie since she ran off crying yesterday, after King Julien over there so callously disregarded her missing husband, who, by the way, is still missing."
Julien grinned nervously as he was faced with scolding looks, while Tammy continued, "And nobody has seen Rebecca or her son since they went home last night. Becky never missed our morning gossiping sessions at the café."
"That ain't good…" an unnerved Maurice put his hand to his mouth, while Karl slowly grew a smile after hearing about Rebecca's possible death.
"Two of your friends went missing?" Mary Ann asked in surprise.
Keke huffed and crossed her arms. "And you just remembered that now?"
"Don't act so shocked, meat-eater." Tammy glared at the fossa. "You take me for a chump? You went awol on a hunting party, and then a bunch of lemurs just happen to go missing?"
"Oh, my." Xixi sounded fascinated and turned to the crowd. "Coincidence, folks, or perhaps not?"
"That's ridiculous!" Mary Ann snapped. "I was with Keke and Horst all morning, and when I went hunting, I was nowhere near any lemur settlement, like usual-"
"Oh, really?" Tammy replied smugly. "Do you have an alibi, fossa?"
"Me and Horst were with her all morning yesterday." Keke argued.
"Don't strain yourself, Kelsey." Tammy leaned down and patted her shoulder. "You've probably developed Stockholm syndrome and aren't fit to be a witness."
"Yes, and who was with her when she went hunting?" Tammy's red ruffed friend asked suspiciously.
"Exactly… no one. Plus, she had a motive beyond mere savage hunger." Tammy elaborated. "Rebecca, bless her soul, was very outspoken about Mary Ann's lack of parenting skills, and rightfully so. Not to mention that her son and Keke got into a fight while playing baseball."
The crowd was taken aback by the revelation.
"Sweet Judy, things just keep unraveling!" Xixi announced dramatically.
"Wait a minute?" Maurice asked Tammy. "I saw Rebecca with you at dusk?"
"Thank you, Maurice." Karl stepped out. "And by that time, Mary Ann and I were far away from the kingdom, dutifully searching for King Julien…and eh…Keke too."
"There, see…" Julien tried to ease the tension. "No reason to be pointing accusing fingers at those who aren't guilty. I was with Mary Ann too, all morning, as we were fighting off-"
"So you admit, in front of the whole kingdom, that neither you, or Kelsey for that matter, saw Mary Ann between her departure to go hunting and this morning?" Tammy spoke over him.
Julien blinked and fidgeted, "Well, yes…but-"
"There you have it, everyone!" Tammy addressed the crowd. "That means we only have Karl's word to go by regarding the fossa's escapades during this lenghty time gap…and only half of it, and he's a fellow carnivore!"
She huffed and placed her hand on her chest. "Far be it from me to profile anyone, but it's obvious that he's being incredibly biased with his testimony."
"Biased?!" Karl was outraged. "That's utterly absurd! I'll have you know that I have no particular fondness for Mary Ann. I'm merely offering an impartial account about what the accused was up to last night, given that I was by her side throughout it."
Tammy looked a little too pleased with his response. "Impartial? You mean after you claimed that you were completely alone while searching for King Julien?"
Maurice hummed with uncertainty and looked at the fanaloka. "She's got ya there, man."
Karl bit his lip. "Well…what I meant by that…"
"Or maybe you lied about your night together for reasons other than being a glory hound?" Tammy suggested in a catty tone, and turned to Mary Ann. "Is "hunting trip" code for something else, Mary Ann?"
"Oh, no, ya didn't…" a dumbfounded Maurice shook his head.
Snarling furiously, Mary Ann lunged and engulfed half of Tammy with her jaws before thrashing her left and right, squirting blood on everyone in her vicinity.
"Mary Ann!" the blood-covered Keke cried and the fossa snapped out of her daydreaming, seeing the kinkajou tugging her arm.
Keke squinted. "Why did you space out?"
"Sorry…" Mary Ann sighed tiredly "…psychological exercise."
"Umm…excuse me?" an annoyed Pancho lifted his hand. "So is this a longwinded way of saying that Mary Ann relapsed on her fossa instincts and killed a bunch of lemurs?" Mary Ann's eyes widened.
"All evidence points to that, yes." Tammy nodded affirmatively, causing tensions among the crowd.
Mary Ann gulped and lowered her ears, while Keke grabbed her arm protectively.
"Guys, I don't like where this is going?" Julien whispered to Maurice and Karl.
"Neither do I…" Maurice agreed. He cleared his throat and tried to address everyone. "Now…stay cool, everyone. I believe due process is in or-"
"Tammy's reasoning is a bit dodgy, but what the hell?" Hector shrugged and raised a spear. "Let's get that cold-blooded killer!"
"Yeah!" mob mentality kicked in and the rest of the crowd raised spears, machetes, pitchforks, and burning torches into the air.
"Death to the fossa!" Pancho shouted, as did many others.
"Yes!" Tammy raised her fist. "Blood must be paid with more blood!"
A panicked Mary Ann was ready to bolt when a giant paw got between her and the would-be lynch mob. "Wow, wow…take it easy, guys. I'm sensing a lot of negativity here."
It was Alex, who walked between them, instantly directing all attention towards him. "We're all friends here, so let's not jump the gun based on one lemur's wild accus-eh…honest concerns."
"But I'm doing this for the good of all lemurkind." Tammy argued. "She's a fossa!"
"I'm sure you are, lady whose name I don't know. And that's all totally cool." A cautious Alex assured her. "But things were kinda getting out of hand, is all I'm saying. I've been listening to your argument and I think it's unfair to dogpile on Mary Ann like a bunch of bullies."
The crowd exchanged confused glances, while the lion continued in a chill manner.
"So she and Horst didn't do a stellar job on their first day as foster parents, so what? Nobody hits a homerun on their first try, people learn on the job. They might stumble along the way but that's all part of the learning curve."
Seeing a chance to regain control of the volatile situation, Julien was quick to say. "Yes, yes…you should all be listening to Mr. Alex, he knows what he's talking about. I very much share his philo-zosophy about not being a hater."
"Keep the camera rolling, this is gold!" Xixi waved her free wing at an avahi next to her. "Mr. Alex is singlehandedly defusing a riot."
"What camera?" the lemur asked in confusion.
"Right you are, KJ." Alex shot the king a finger gun. "And furthermore, as a fellow carnivore, lemme just say that I know full well what it's like having a little savage killer inside of you, always threatening to bust loose whenever your tummy rumbles. And believe me, in such a situation, the last thing you need is people pestering you and getting on your case over every little misstep."
"Wow…I never thought of it like that?" a mesmerized Pancho said as he dropped the noose he was holding.
Mary Ann felt a sense of ease hearing someone actually sympathize with her, while the crowd and even Tammy calmed down and watched the lion in amazement. Though Mary Ann worried they weren't taking Alex's words to heart, and were just enthralled by the spectacle of a celebrity giving an inspiring speech.
"I never stopped believing in you, Ally-Al." Marty concurred. "Even after ya tried to hunt me down and eat me, I still vouched for you to get a second chance."
"Thanks, Marty. You're a true pal." Alex nodded with appreciation.
"Wow…" Ted wiped a tear with his finger "…that's so deep."
"Yeah…deep up your ass." Hector snarked bitterly and threw his spear away, knowing the lynching mood had passed, and stormed off.
"Lousy, pea-brained sheep…" he grumbled to himself.
"Mr. Alex is absolutely right." Maurice came to support the lion. "Cooler heads always prevail during a crisis, and having a lynch trial would be most unproductive."
Shaking herself out of her trance, Tammy came to her senses and scowled. "But four lemurs are still missing, we can't just ignore that?"
"You're right on that, Tammy." Maurice raised his hands to assure her. "And King Julien already decided on how to tackle the issue."
"I have?" Julien asked before shaking his head. "I am…of course I have."
Maurice took a brief glance at Mary Ann. He didn't exactly trust the fossa, but he did believe in fair trials, and having Julien and Karl speak on her behalf convinced him to give her the benefit of the doubt.
"Yes, King Julien. The missing lemur case will be thoroughly investigated, and we won't be pinning the blame on anybody til some hard evidence comes to light."
"And who will be doing the investigating, if I may ask?" Tammy inquired sharply.
"Umm…" Maurice rubbed his chin "…good question?"
"I know!" Julien announced. "Clover! She's done some sleuthing here and there!"
The crowd watched him in confusion while Maurice was on the verge of blubbering.
"S-seriously, your m-majesty?" his lips trembled. "It still hasn't sunk in with ya? Didn't we jus' talk with Nigel 'bout her…?"
"Oh, yes?" Julien realized, slouched, and wiped a small tear. "Sorry, Mo-Mo…I've…she's just been on the royal mind lately."
"How about the penguins?" Gloria chimed in helpfully. "That Kowalski looks like he might know a thing or two about forensics and such?"
Her face fell a bit. "I mean…that's surely a better use of their time than searching for an imaginary dolphin mad scientist."
"Pfffttt…preposterous! You're putting too much faith in that pompous, polar pinhead." Karl sneered before pointing at himself. "I'm more than qualified to do it myself. Better leave such a delicate task to a citizen of Madagascar!"
"Who also happens to be a carnivore." Tammy scoffed, stressing the last word, earning scornful glares from both Karl and Mary Ann.
"No, I think Gloria has the right idea. The penguins have no love for us, so for better or worse, they'll be impartial." Maurice spoke up before another argument could erupt, then quietly gestured for Julien and the frustrated Karl to come closer, with Masikura appearing on Karl's shoulder.
"Besides…" he whispered to them "…this could keep 'em distracted for a while, if ya know what I mean."
"Oh, good idea." Julien nodded eagerly, while Karl rolled his eyes and seethed through clenched teeth but reluctantly agreed.
"Fine…" he spat "…just long enough for me to finish the decoy."
"A sound decision." Masikura said sagely. "Exploit our unwanted visitors before sending them on a fool's errand."
"Then it's settled yall." Maurice nodded before nudging his king to address the crowd.
"Hear me! I, King Julien, and my trusty entourage agree on how to handle this minor dilemma. We will politely ask the silly penguins to look into the missing lemurs!"
Julien raised his finger and added, "And until this matter is settled, everyone is to be given the benefit of the doubt. So no harassing Mary Ann."
"Fine." Tammy gave in and sent Mary Ann one final venomous look.
"You're lucky King Julien has a soft spot for his pet project, but he's just stalling the inevitable. Once the truth comes out, you'll get yours, fossa."
Mary Ann felt a chill run down her spine while Tammy pointed over her shoulder as she walked off, "And that poor, mistreated girl will be put in much better care."
Keke's eyes bulged as they fell on the dilapidated orphanage, and a creepy pangolin waved at her while her left eye rolled back into her head, and there were a bunch of lemur kids standing by the window, still as statues and sporting haunted looks that signaled, "Help us".
Shaking her head, Keke tried to stay cool and whispered to Mary Ann. "Phew…that was a close one."
Mary Ann didn't look so sure. Taking a whiff, she then glowered in frustration as she picked up her husband's scent.
Groaning miserably, Mary Ann opened the door to her hut, holding an icepack to her bruised eye, and accompanied by Keke, who was carrying a guilty and uncertain expression.
"There you go." Their escort, Alex, crouched down on all fours to be at eye level. "You just stay home until the heat dies down. I'm sure everyone will be cool tomorrow, and the penguins will get to the bottom of this."
Mary Ann didn't share the lion's optimism but nonetheless, she offered a grateful smile. "Thank you so much, Mr. Alex. Your support means a lot."
"Sí, you might be a bit of a pansy…" Keke added, trying to be respectful "…but you ain't so bad."
"No problemo. We carnivores got to stick together." Alex chuckled as he stood up. "But I gotta go now. Me and my buds are trying to find a way to build an S.O.S. sign that's resilient to bad weather and charging boars."
On the upside, at least Julien's shortsighted rescue gave him a week's worth of bacon to dine on, a much-appreciated break from all the fish.
"Stay safe, guys." He walked off waving, and Mary Ann and Keke waved back.
Once he was gone, Mary Ann's sensitive hearing picked up nervous breathing, and again, she smelled an all-too-familiar scent, making her scowl with frustration. Keke, likewise, was privy to his presence and fidgeted, figuring the poor shmuck needed backup.
"Hey, Mary Ann…babe?" Horst sat by the table, sporting a nervous smile and fiddling with his fingers. "I hear you had a bit of trouble with…"
To his dread, Mary Ann gave him the cold shoulder and headed toward their bedroom. Horst was distraught, she really was pissed beyond all belief. He had expected a brutal mauling but this was so much worse!
"Mary Ann, wait!" he ran ahead and blocked her path, holding his hands up.
The fossa glared down at him dangerously, "I'm not in the mood."
Horst braced himself, knowing there was only one thing a man could do in such a situation.
"Honey, please! Just let me explain!" the blue-eyed lemur dropped to his knees and begged.
"Alright…" Mary Ann replied bitterly "…I already know how you lost Keke, so instead, how about you explain why you were hiding like a coward while I had to explain your mishap to the whole kingdom?"
Keke cringed at the verbal lashing and watched as Horst chuckled awkwardly. "Well…yes, I was being a lily-livered, spineless coward, BUT…" he raised his finger "…in my defense, I'm sure I would have made things much worse if I had aided you. You know I'm not so good with words while under pressure, especially if it involves the whole kingdom glaring daggers at me."
Mary Ann's frown deepened, but she sighed in resignation. Horst had a point there, as pitiful as it was.
"He's right." Keke jumped into the conversation. "Mr. Julien and Mr. Alex did a much better job calming down the angry mob, because the pueblos like them."
"Keke, I'm glad to see you're okay." Horst turned to her with relief. "I hope your trip through the jungle wasn't too scary?"
"Nope, we just had to deal with a crowned eagle and a whole pack of fossa who wanted Mary Ann's blood." Keke insisted with an air of nonchalance, making Horst pale in horror.
"But we fought them all off." Keke punched the air. "Mary Ann took on the eagle by herself, and defeated most of the bad fossa, it was awesome-"
"Don't. Even. Start." The dejected Mary Ann hissed and sat down. "What does it matter anyway..."
Horst knew what she meant. "Oh, you mean the thing about the missing lemurs?"
"Yes…" Mary Ann vented. "We barely wormed our way out of one predicament, only to be thrust into a far worse one. Lemurs have gone missing and everyone thinks I'm to blame."
"Mary Ann, don't lose hope so quickly." Horst held and stroked her paw reassuringly. "I know you're innocent and the truth will come out. As Maurice said, those penguins don't care if you're a fossa or a lemur, they don't have it out for you like some people. I'm sure your name will be cleared in no time."
Mary Ann thought about it. Her husband was right about the appointed investigators' impartiality, but luck had not been on her side for a long time.
"Like the vaca gorda?" Keke scoffed.
"You mean "fat cow"?" Horst quipped, to the other two's surprise. "Yes, her. See? I learned some exotic lingo before I dozed off, mija."
"Eh…you mean miha." Keke corrected his pronunciation.
Horst flushed. "Well…I'm still learning. Like Mr. Alex said, nobody nails it on their first try."
Despite herself, Mary Ann smiled a bit. "That's not exactly what I meant with "better communication", but at least you're trying."
"He is, and so are you." Keke tried to encourage her. "Nobody would do half the crazy stuff you did today unless they really care. And…eh…"
"What?" Mary Ann raised an eyebrow as the girl fumbled with her words.
"I'm…I'm sorry I didn't listen to you." Keke admitted bashfully. "I didn't know things were this bad for you and Horst."
Mary Ann gave her a peeved look, but Horst chuckled weakly. "Yeah…folks don't believe something til they see it with their own eyes."
"Sí, sí…and I didn't think Mr. Julien was serious about me staying at a scary orphanage if I couldn't be with you."
"In other words, you weren't thinking at all?" Mary Ann deadpanned, and after seeing Keke squirm with embarrassment for a few seconds, the fossa raised her paw.
"Never mind… I least you learned something in the end."
"Guess she did… and hey? This ain't unsalvageable! We still have the rest of the week to prove ourselves." Horst tried to lift his wife's spirits. "And I have a hunch Keke will be a bit more cooperative now."
"I will, I promise…" Keke grabbed the fossa's paw. "Look, I feel like we really bonded during these very eventful 24 hours. I was wrong about you. I thought you were just a boring nag but you're actually really cool."
"I guess she told ya a bit about her backstory, huh?" Horst deduced, making his wife blush. "Yeah, she did some wild stuff back in the day."
"Sí, I never would have guessed Mary Ann once tried to take over the world, or-"
"Oh, that's nothing." Horst barked a laugh. "You should hear about the time she and I first met, and how she-"
"Please…" the fossa covered her face. "Can we NOT talk about this? I'm really embarrassed about my-"
"Wait, Mary Ann." Horst leaned towards her. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. Look, the kid's finally respecting you? Doesn't matter why."
Mary Ann glanced at the smiling kinkajou, who nodded. This wasn't how she had imagined gaining Keke's respect, but beggars couldn't be choosers.
"Yes, you're no quitter." Keke implored her, clutching her paw tighter. "You're not gonna let that stupid Tammy win, right?"
"No…" the fossa said pensively. Thoughts of wiping that smug smirk off that wretched woman's face (without her claws) and making her eat her words were alluring.
"I promise." Keke raised a paw. "I won't bother you much. And it's not like I will be here forever, just until mamá comes back from the super-secret spy mission."
Mary Ann and Horst exchanged concerned looks, being reminded how the kid's future was in their hands.
"Alright, I won't quit." Mary Ann agreed. "And I guess every cloud has a silver lining. Seems our daring adventure straightened you out a bit."
"Yeah, it worked for King Julien." Horst pointed out. "Well…sorta."
"We'll do everything we can but as Horst said, you need to be cooperative." Mary Ann reminded Keke. "Because of Tammy's accusations, we're under more scrutiny than ever now, so we cannot afford even the tiniest slip-up."
"I will, I promise." Keke agreed. "I get the picture."
"Good." Mary Ann nodded. "You need to be on your best behavior, which means listening to us and keeping yourself in check when around others. Whenever you get the idea to do something that seems fun to you… just do the opposite."
She shook the kinkajou's tiny paw. "Do we have a deal?"
Keke nodded enthusiastically. "Deal."
"Great. From now on…" Horst started "…eh…nusestra casa es susa casa, Keke."
Keke gave him a flat look. "Um…you need more práctica."
Since Dr. Blowhole's trail had gone cold for now, the penguins agreed to look into the missing lemurs. It was their moral duty (and Skipper's orders) to protect civilians, after all. Mary Ann was the most obvious suspect, but Kowalski was savvy enough to know that in most murder mysteries, the obvious culprit was often a red herring, so this was worthy of investigation.
"Kowalski, I know you're cross with her, and frankly…" Private paused to burp up some fumes "…I can't blame you. But does this really warrant you slandering her in public?"
"Don't you sell me short, Private." Kowalski retorted pointedly as they walked down a pathway through the jungle. "I would never stoop to such petty spitefulness, especially not for some insolent, smart-mouthed brat."
"But you told folks she was a meat-eater?"
Kowalski groaned. "For the last time, I never made such a preposterous claim. Some locals came and asked me about Keke's origins and I, helpfully, gave them a thorough explanation."
"But you said that Keke is a carnivore, when she eats fruits?" Private pointed out.
Kowalski rolled his eyes. How simple-minded was the rookie?
"Correction, I stated that the kinkajou is a carnivoran, a highly diverse order of placental laurasiatherian mammals. Though granted, their designation is a bit misleading, given how many members are omnivores or even herbivores. Like the adorable pandas…" Kowalski gushed for a second before adopting a disdainful look "…and Keke's kind. But alas, I didn't invent taxonomic nomenclature."
Barely following the elaborate terminology, Private gave his superior an incredulous look. "And you seriously don't see how folks might misconstrue the meaning behind your explanation?"
"Unlikely." Kowalski dismissed him. "Even these undereducated lemmies can surely tell the difference between "carnivore" and "carnivoran"-"
"Hello, silly penguins!" Kowalski and Private were startled and adopted fighting poses, only to see nobody. They glanced down and saw a familiar mouse lemur, who looked at them innocently, with his hands behind his back.
"Oh, 'ello, Mort." Private smiled. "How have you been?"
Mort didn't know why those two birdbrains assumed that he must be a child but this misassumption of theirs played perfectly into his favor. After all? Who would ever suspect a child of trying to commit cold-blooded murder?
"I've been doing great! No scary shellfish have been bothering me since you guys saved me and scared them off! My heroes." Mort said with an air of innocence… while gagging on the inside.
"Just doing our job." Private replied humbly. "Protecting the innocent is a penguin's duty."
"Oh, I know. So could you-"
"No time for chatting, kiddo." Kowalski cut in and dragged Private away. "We've got work to do, lives depend on it. Come on, Private."
"No, wait!" Mort blocked their path and held his hands up before chuckling nervously.
"I…I wanted to thank you for saving me."
Kowalski rolled his eyes. "All in a day's work, young lemur-"
"And so did my mommy!" Mort hastily added. "She wants to thank you too, so could you please just stay here."
Kowalski and Private exchanged confused looks as Mort herded them closer to each other.
"Yes, right there, and don't move an inch." Mort instructed them.
Kowalski gave him a suspicious glare. "This isn't another set-up for a prepubescent prank, is it?" he asked sharply, making Mort sweat a bit.
"No, absolutely not." The latter insisted. "I'm nothing like that mean ol'Keke. I know she did you dirty and understand now why mommy always tells me to steer clear of that bad girl. After she tricked you into eating spicy candy…" he pointed between his legs "…she went and kicked me where it hurts, just to be a jerk. And that was after I asked if I could buy some of her cookies."
"Oi…too much detail." Private winced, while Kowalski studied the mouse lemur before giving a curt nod.
"Your mother is a smart woman." He admitted. "I suppose it would be impolite to ignore her token of gratitude."
"Um… if your mom wanted to thank us, why didn't she come with you?" Private asked.
"Yes… why didn't she come with you?" Kowalski cocked his brow, his suspicions renewed.
Mort blinked, trying to think of a reason. "Uhh…she tried but…but you penguins are just so gosh-darn hard to find? You're practically invisible."
Hearing that, Kowalski smirked anew, his ego sufficiently stroked. "I guess we can't blame her? Skipper did train us to be masters of stealth, after all."
"Yes, yes, and mommy wants to thank you with free samples of her famous papaya-pineapple surprise. Those are the best smoothies on the whole island, and it's a tightly kept family secret." Mort whispered to them. "Nobody knows that the secret ingredients are papaya and pineapple."
"Well…if she really wants to show her gratitude for our heroic deeds, I guess we can wait." Kowalski shrugged before resuming his professional tone. "But don't take too long, kiddo. We have urgent business to attend to."
"I won't, oh brave and noble penguins, I'll get the smoothies in a jiffy. Just. Stay. Right. Here." Mort told them before bolting towards his home.
None of them were aware that they were being watched from the thick undergrowth by a hungry predator. He paid little mind to the weird, waddling tuxedo birds, his gaze was fixed on the delicious-looking little mammal and he followed it. Mammal meat was a delicacy he couldn't say "no" to.
"Awww…it feels so good doing good deeds." Private smiled warmly.
"And being acknowledged for it." Kowalski added not-so-humbly.
Meanwhile, inside his stump home, Mort was chuckling maliciously as he held up a bottle of mamba venom (complete with a skull and crossbones label) and poured half of it into one coconut drink with an umbrella, and the rest into another. Two drinks for two birdies on death row!
"Finally. Once they get a taste of Mommy Mort's surprise, it will be "Bye-bye, penguins"!" Mort rubbed his hands wickedly before erupting into a fit of diabolical laughter.
"I hate to admit it." Mort said to himself while tapping his head. "But I gotta thank you for teaching me everything I know about poisons, Grammy."
"I'll still break free and take control of your body, Morty dearest! Someday I will!" he heard his grandma's angry retort.
"Yeah sure…when bushpigs fly." Mort laughed the threat off, oblivious to the fact that he was being engulfed by a huge shadow.
Said shadow belonged to an enormous boa constrictor with yellow eyes and matching scales, who flicked his tongue and observed the tiny creature with a hungry glint in his eyes.
"Buenas tardes, pequeño. What are you doing there?" he said with a cordial smile, his voice deep and smooth.
"Not now, Keke! I'm busy!" Mort waved his hand without bothering to look at his visitor. "You had your chance to help me, but you blew it!"
"Keke?" the snake was surprised and pressed his tail against his forehead as he vented. "Dios mío. Don't tell that aggravating little mocosa didn't drown?"
"Hah! You ain't fooling me, who else here talks with that funny accent?" Mort laughed while holding the drinks up, gleefully imagining the penguins convulsing in agony until they went stiff and their eyes glazed over.
"Oh, well. I'll just eat her when I bump into her." The boa shrugged before turning to his still-oblivious prey, flicking his tongue hungrily.
"Out of my way, Keke, I'm delivering a parting gift to two birds. I have a strong hunch that they'll be leaving us soon. Very soo.." Mort's face dropped as he turned around and got a good look at his visitor, and his brow furrowed.
The boa chuckled softly. "Muy considerado. After all, one never knows when their departure is near."
"You look different, Keke?" Mort squinted. "Did you have a skin condition-"
In a flash, Mort was gone and the two coconut drinks hit the floor and spilled their content, while the predator's coils swiftly vanished into the jungle's undergrowth.
Back with Kowalski and Private, the two were waiting in awkward silence, the former tapping his foot and the latter humming the Lunacorn intro.
Growing impatient, Kowalski rubbed his chin in contemplation. "I didn't know that making smoothies is such a time-consuming process?"
It's been quite the journey, but I feel like I've finally made proper progress with this fic (despite its hiatuses), as Mary Ann and Keke have checked off all the cliches for foster family drama; an argument, the kid running off and getting into trouble, the adult searching for them, them bonding after going through some life-and-death scenarios together, the former learns more about the latter and starts to respect them (albeit for reasons the adult finds shameful XD) and they finally reach an understanding. But as that issue is finally resolved, Mary Ann is faced with a bigger one, as everyone now thinks she has relapsed on her savage instincts and started eating lemurs, and are pretty much wishing for that to be the case so they can lynch her XD That's prejudice for ya XD
And I figured this was the right time to have Mort get eaten, since there isn't much else left for him to do in this story after his little subplot with the penguins ran its course. Of course, he's MORT, so he'll be alright, even while being stuck in the acid-filled belly of a serpent.