Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 2
Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror
It was only the second day of the summer, but it was already getting hot. The weatherman advised to take it easy and do nothing unless you live near the beach. Just find a shady tree, and maybe an aquatic mammal of some sort, and blow the whole day off.
Well, if you happened to be Phineas or Ferb, that's no problem.
"Come on, Ferb," said Phineas. "If we let a little heat stop us from having the best day ever, then the morning deejays win."
The boys got up and took off their clothes. Their swim trunks were underneath their clothes.
Ferb grabbed the garden hose and started filling the sandbox with water.
"Woo, it's hot out here," came the voice of Linda. She and Candace just came outside. "So, what are you boys up to?"
"We're making our own backyard beach," Phineas replied.
"How cute. Well, I'm off for my spa day. You boys behave yourselves, and don't bother your father. He's finally cleaning out the basement."
"Bye Mom!" Candace said as Linda left. She then turned to the boys. "You heard that? We can't bug Dad, which makes me in charge… by default." She then waited to see if the boys would do something crazy. When nothing happened, she left. "Carry on."
Once Candace left, Phineas spoke. "We're gonna need more sand. Hey, where's Perry?"
When no one was around, Perry entered his secret hideout. This time, he got in through a fake mushroom in the backyard.
Once Perry landed, he stood under another chute, where his fedora was dropped onto his head.
Afterwards, he sat down to answer the call.
"Good morning, Agent P," Monogram greeted. "Lawn gnomes across the Tri-State Area are disappearing, leaving thousands of gardens unprotected from the evils of black magic. We suspect Doofenshmirtz. Get right on it."
Perry saluted.
Perry
After a few minutes, a guy came to the house to deliver ten trillion grains of sand.
"Aren't you a little young to be a landscape contractor?" the guy asked.
"Yes, yes I am," Phineas replied.
"Hi, Phineas," came an annoying voice.
Phineas turned around to see Isabella.
"Hi Isabella," he greeted unenthusiastically.
"Whatcha doin?"
"Building a beach. Check it out."
In the backyard, Ferb was launching water from a large hose. The truck started pouring the sand onto the backyard.
"Can me and the other fireside Girls be lifeguards?" Isabella asked. "We need to earn our aquatic safety badges."
"Sure," Phineas replied.
Inside, Candace was on the phone with Stacy.
"I've been friends with Susie a lot longer than Katie," she ranted. "I should've been invited to her party. They may be lab partners, but we're locker buddies."
That's when she heard a noise from outside. She went out to check it out.
In front of her, Phineas, Ferb, and a group of girls were standing in front of the sandbox.
"Welcome to our beach," Phineas said.
"Ha, you call this a beach?" Candace asked as she came out. "This is way below your usual standard. This isn't worth a call from Mom. Well, have fun playing in the sandbox."
When she turned around, the fence was gone. In front of her was a large beach like those you'd see in Hawaii.
"So, Candace, what do you think?" asked Phineas.
"That's it!" Candace snapped. "I'm calling Mom!"
"Hey, Candace," came a voice from behind.
Candace turned around to see Stacy and Jenny in their swim clothes.
"You never told me you had a beach in your backyard," said Jenny. "You're gonna be the most popular girl in the neighborhood."
"I will?" Candace asked.
"I just saw Jeremy and his buddies with their surfboards," Stacy replied.
"Jeremy's here? Gotta go!"
Candace dropped her phone and ran to the beach.
Perry disguised himself as a lawn gnome. After a while, he was sucked under the ground.
He went down a conveyor belt with a bunch of other gnomes. He noticed Doofenshmirtz admiring all the gnomes.
He then picked up Perry.
"This is a strange one," he remarked.
Perry made his move. He punched Doof hard on the face.
"Wait, who are you?" asked Doof. Perry took off his disguise, but his fedora fell off when he took off his gnome hat. "A platypus?" Perry put his fedora back on. "Perry the Platypus?"
Doof quickly regained his senses.
"You are mine now!" Doof pushed a button on his remote.
A door behind Perry opened. Perry turned around and braced himself for whatever was gonna come out. When the door fully opened, it revealed a bunch of boxes and objects.
"Wait, that's the garage door opener," Doof said as he swapped remotes. "Now, you are mine!"
Doof pushed the button. This time, the screen behind him turned from a green screen to static.
"That was the TV remote," Doof sighed. "I've got to start labeling these things." He found the right remote. "NOW, you are mine!"
This time, when Doof pushed the button, a cage dropped, trapping Perry.
"Finally, I will rid myself of you!" Doof laughed. "But first, turn your attention to the giant screen and…" Doof pushed the button, just to shut the garage door. "Maybe I need to turn the cable on first?"
"Let's get this beach party started," Phineas said as he put on his hat.
Cue montage of the kids having fun at the beach.
A couple of girls were burying their friend in the sand. The raspy bully tried to bully them. The kid in the sand got up. The sand made his body look muscular. This scared the bully away.
A teenage boy pushed a button on a fake dolphin. Water sprayed out of its blowhole. The teen held his younger brother in his arms. The brother drank the water.
Ferb drove a boat at a very fast speed. Phineas was riding on a parasail.
"Hey Ferb, I can see our house from up here!" he shouted excitedly, even though his house was right in front of him.
Candace found the pretty blonde boy, Jeremy, shining his board. She nervously walked over to him to offer some coconut milk.
Sadly, fate had other plans.
A coconut fell off a tree and onto Candace's head. She dropped the drinks and fell to the floor. She ended up hitting a poor crab.
The crab carried Candace with it. She was carried under a limbo. The other kids playing limbo were impressed.
"So that's how low you can go," one remarked.
"We've been asking that question for generations," another added.
Candace came to. She stood up, confused.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"For winning the limbo contest, you are now crowned Queen Wahanine of the beach," a man said as he gave Candace a crown. "All hail Queen Wahanine!"
"I can't believe it!" Candace cheered.
Play "Backyard Beach"
Ferb showed up with a microphone.
Ferb:
Listen up people and I'll teach ya
'Bout Phineas and Ferb and a backyard beach, yeah
Every morning, Phineas, he gonna say
"Brother, what'cha gonna do today?"
Everyone gathered around and started dancing.
Now you see we're having fun
Playing' under the sun
And get in line, get in line
'Cause the wet ski's runnin'
A backyard beach, a backyard beach
Nothing's outta reach
We got the backyard beach
You can change in the broken hut
Drink out of a coconut
Three games for a token, but the rest is free
You got skiing', parasailing',
Surfin' and a-flailing',
Your contacts need saline
Or else you can't see.
Jeremy approached Candace and started dancing with her. Candace never felt happier in her life.
Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach
Nothing's out of reach, we got the backyard beach
Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach
Don't fall into the breach, got the backyard beach
End "Backyard Beach"
Meanwhile, Linda tried to have fun at the spa. However, she couldn't. Something was very wrong. This was normally the part where she'd receive a call from Candace, if not show up in person.
"Oga, hold me down," she ordered. "I'm going home."
After skimming through his many remotes, Doof finally found the right one.
"Now, Perry the Platypus, you'll finally learn my plan!" Doof said as he turned on the screen. "Back in Gimmelshtump, in the days of my youth, the Doofenshmirtz's were a proud family, but those were lean times for my father and our beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. Who would protect our zatenfruit garden from witches, spells, and wood trolls? From a tender age, my father decided that it would be me. While the other children played 'Kick the Schtumpel' and ate Doonkleberries, I would stand for hours. All through the cold night, as the spitzenhound howled, my only companion was the moon. Since my lawn gnome was taken from me, I'm going to destroy every lawn gnome in the entire Tri-State Area! " He opened a large purple curtain. "Behold the Destruct-Inator, and now, Perry the Platypus, to activate my creation!"
Doof pushed the button to turn on the machine… only to open Perry's cage.
Perry leaped into the air and whacked Doof with his tail.
Back at the beach, a surfing contest was about to begin.
The raspy bully approached Phineas with his board.
"Hello, dinner bell," he greeted.
Phineas turned around. "Hey, I know you. You're that kid who came to the rollercoaster with the poster."
"I am. The name's Buford Von Stomm and I'm gonna kick everyone's butts in this contest."
"Well, Buford, perhaps you missed the sign."
Buford turned to the sign and read it aloud. "No bullying, no yodeling?"
"I don't like this any more than you do," said a nearby yodeler.
The first competitor was Bobby Nelson. He ate it on a five-footer… because Buford intentionally knocked him off his board.
Next, Buford pummeled Django Brown with a Philadelphia traffic stop. He then caught Django in a Nelson before beating him with Bobby Nelson.
The judges did not like this. They gave Buford zeros. He angrily threw Bobby onto the judge's table.
Then, Phineas stepped in. He was so confident that he tanned while riding the wave.
Buford tried to tackle Phineas. Phineas was one step ahead, and used a holographic projector to trick him.
He then started to hang ten, then twenty, then thirty-two, then just hanging.
The crowd loved it. They did their own wave when Phineas got to the surface. Phineas surfed their wave.
The judges gave Phineas a perfect ten.
Meanwhile, Candace was still dancing with Jeremy.
"Are you having fun?" Jeremy asked.
"Yes!" Candace screamed in excitement.
That's when the music changed. Candace looked around. Couples were dancing a slow dance.
Candace took Jeremy's hand, and the two danced together.
This was it. The moment had arrived.
Candace and Jeremy leaned towards each other. They closed their eyes. They puckered their lips.
Then Candace's phone rang.
"Excuse me," she smiled, embarrassed. Candace answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Candace, is everything okay?" came Linda's voice.
"Oh, everything's just wonderful."
"And Phineas and Ferb? What are they doing?"
"Such wonderful things."
"Candace, honey, I'm coming home."
"Wait, what?"
"I'm right around the corner. I'll be home in two minutes."
"Wait! You can't!" Candace heard a beep. She turned to Jeremy. "Stay right there. I've gotta stop her!"
Candace ran into the yard. She peaked out of the gate. Linda was already there.
"Mom, please go away!" she begged. "Don't come in."
Underground, Perry and Doof were continuing their fight.
Perry hit Doof and caused him to hit the lever. The machine switched from suck to blow.
At the beach, a volcano emerged from the water. Gnomes started to erupt from it.
"Run for your lives!" a surfer shouted. "It's gnome-ageddon!"
Everyone made a run for it.
"Candace, tell me the truth," Linda ordered. "What is going on here?"
Candace sighed. "Phineas and Ferb built a beach in the backyard, but instead of a cute little beach in their sandbox, it turned out to be this huge beach with a coastline, palm trees, a pier, hula dancers, water skiers, and everybody from the neighborhood showed up..."
Perry kicked Doof in the shins. He hit the lever yet again.
The volcano got sucked into the ground.
Water sprayed down into the base. Perry got out of the way in time, but Doof wasn't so lucky.
"And then I was just about to share a smoothie with Jeremy when a coconut dropped on my head and…"
Everyone watched as the ocean started to drain. They were all confused about this.
"And just for a moment, it seemed that the wily Buford would steal away the coveted surfing trophy from under the noses of our heroes…"
A large bubble formed before popping.
"But I can only continue my benign reign and spread love, happiness, and ultimate popularity throughout my kingdom if you just let me have my moment."
Once all the water was drained, Perry climbed out of the massive sinkhole.
Agent P
He reverted back to his normal form and returned to the boys.
"Oh, there you are, Perry," said Phineas.
Perry did his usual chatter.
"Well everybody, looks like that's all for today," Phineas told the crowd.
"Phineas and Ferb!" the crowd cheered as the boys shut the fence.
"That was great," Phineas told Ferb and Isabella.
"If you don't believe me, see for yourself," said Candace.
Linda entered the backyard. As she expected, there was no beach. Just Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella standing near the sandbox.
"Hey boys," she greeted.
"Hey Mom," Phineas replied.
"How was your day at the beach?"
"Wait, my kingdom!" Candace cried. "It was all so beautiful! What have you done to my paradise?"
"Candace, honey, I think you need to be out of the sun for a little while," Linda said as she carried Candace inside.
"I think she had fun," Phineas remarked.
The boys went back to sitting under the tree.
"Shout out to my boys Phineas and Ferb!" the announcer said on the radio. "For hosting a beach party that was hot hot hot, and speaking of hot, slather on the sunscreen, listeners, 'cause tomorrow's weather calls for another scorcher."
"With a slight chance of scattered lawn gnomes," Ferb added.
Phineas laughed at the joke.
A.N.
Not much to say here.
The main thing I want to note is a scrapped idea regarding Doofenshmirtz. Early in the writing phase, I had this plan that Doof wouldn't reveal the details of his bad childhood until later in the story as part of an arc about opening up to Perry. Well, I've gone back and edited those chapters and changed it so that he does reveal the details mainly because by leaving it out now, it just wouldn't make sense for him to bring it up later.
That's all I have to say. Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, and review.