Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 8
One Good Scare Ought to Do It
Candace sat on her bed, pretending to call someone with a banana.
"Hello, is this the Johnson residence?" she asked. "I'd like to speak to Jeremy Johnson. This is Candace Flynn. Why am I calling, you ask." She looked at her notebook, which had a list of 'Reasons to Call.' "I have a question about our algebra assignment. Okay, I'll hold." She turned to the page for 'Opening Jokes.' "Heya, Jeremy, this is Candace Flynn. What do you get when you cross a yak with a martian?"
"Honey, could I interrupt you for a second?" came a voice.
"Jeremy, did you just call me honey?" Candace asked, completely oblivious.
"No, Candace." Candace snapped back to reality to see Linda at the door. "I just wanted to tell you I'm off to my book club. I left a phone number on the fridge, in case of an emergency. Oh, and Candace, I hope you don't talk to that banana all afternoon."
Phineas and Ferb were in the backyard wearing sombreros.
"Ladies and platypuses," Phineas announced. "Presenting, the Amazing Mariachi Tree."
A bunch of mariachi players played mariachi on top of the tree in the backyard. After a while, they all lost their balance and fell off the tree. Thankfully, they didn't sustain any major injuries and were able to walk it off.
"I guess the lesson today is to not drink so much chocolate milk before planning our day's activity," Phineas remarked. "Bye guys. Sorry. Gracias."
Right as the mariachi band left, Isabella came in.
"Hi Phineas," she greeted. "Whatcha do…" Hiccup.
"Are you okay?" Phineas asked.
"Yeah, I just wanted to ask whatcha do…" Hiccup. "...ing."
"Oh no," Phineas said, a bit annoyed. "That's a bad case of the hiccups you got there."
"I know, they're driving me crazy," Isabella said. Hiccup.
Phineas was getting annoyed. "Ferb and I will help you cure your hiccups," he said. "I do not want to deal with them all day. Hey, where's Perry?"
When no one was looking, Perry put on his fedora and jumped into a trash can… only to find out it was the real trash can. He quickly jumped out of that one and into the one next to it, the real entrance to his lair.
"Good morning, Agent P," Monogram greeted. "Doctor Doofenshmirtz is on the move. We tracked him to these coordinates when we suddenly lost his signal." He showed a map of the states. He placed a marker somewhere off the coast of Florida. "We have two scenarios to explain his disappearance. First, magical elves have caused Doctor Doofenshmirtz to vanish to the land of angry corn people. Second, he may be hiding on this hideout-shaped island with the letter D carved into it that satellites have found in the exact… spot… he vanished… you know what? Forget the elf thing. I was way off base with that. Anyway, on your way, Agent P."
Perry got in his flying car and flew away.
Perry
"Okay, Isabella," said Phineas. "The best way to cure the hiccups is to scare them away. What scares you?"
"There was this haunted house at the state fair," Isabella replied. Hiccup. "That was pretty scary."
"That's it. Ferb and I are gonna make you the scariest haunted house ever. Vampires, werewolves, witches…"
Someone cleared their throat. Phineas turned around to see Candace.
He wasn't very happy to see her. "Hey, Candace."
"Phineas!" Candace shouted. "The only way you're building a haunted house is under my dead body!"
"That's the idea."
"That's it you little psycho, I'm calling Mom!" Candace was about to run inside, but she stopped to say one last thing. "And I'm not gonna use the banana this time!"
Phineas was baffled by that last statement. "You heard that too, right?"
Candace found the number Linda left, and she quickly dialed it. It didn't take long for someone to answer.
"Yes, hello," said Candace. "This is an emergency. I would like to speak with Linda Flynn. To whom am I presently speaking to?"
"Jeremy Johnson," said the voice on the other side. "My mom's hosting a book club? Who is this?"
Candace wasn't expecting this. She didn't know what to do now.
After a second, she did the first thing that came to mind. She crumpled up the paper with the Johnson house number to create fake static noises.
"We seem to be breaking up," she lied. "I'm going into a tunnel. Sunspots! I… ¡no habla español!"
Candace quickly hung up the phone.
Doofenshmirtz' Hideout-Shaped Island
Perry jumped out of his car and used a wingsuit to glide to the island. Once he landed, he snuck inside the hideout and hid behind a crate.
This ended up being a big mistake. His arms, legs, and tail got strapped onto the crate. Doofenshmirtz stepped into the light.
"Perry the Platypus, here?" Doof asked in fake shock. "How could this be? I'm shocked. I mean, it would have taken a total evil mastermind to have guessed that you'd track me to this point, find the secret hideout, fly in under the radar, and infiltrate through this access vent, make your way over to this crate, activating my automatic arm and leg restraints. Oh, this is the part where I get all sarcastic and pretend you surprised me. 'Oh, Perry the Platypus? How the, what the, who the, why the? Oh.' Finally ending here where I finish showing you my brilliant plan. You see, Perry the Platypus, this secret hideout actually doesn't belong to me. It belonged to my mentor, Professor Destructicon, Kevin to his friends. Sadly, he was just captured in the midst of his latest plan, to set fire to the sun. Redundant, perhaps, but before they locked him away, Kevin asked for a favor from me, to prevent them from discovering his hidden lair and all its secrets, would I please set fire to the sun? And I was like, 'dude, you gotta let that one go. It's a ball of fire. It makes no sense.' So he asked me instead to simply destroy his hideout, which I will now do, using my Disintevaporator."
Doof removed a tarp to show his Disintevaporator. A timer was counting down from twenty-five minutes. The room grew silent. This wasn't supposed to happen. Doof cleared his throat, and dramatic music started to play.
He then turned to Perry to finish his statement. "And you, Perry the Platypus, will disintevaporate with it! Ha ha ha!"
Candace dialed the number again.
"Let's try this again, just relax," she told herself. It only took a second for someone to answer. "Linda Flynn, please, but if she's too busy, uh, then maybe there's someone else who can deliver her a message."
"Who is this?" asked a high-pitched, obnoxious voice.
"Candace Flynn. Who is this?"
"I'm Suzy, Jeremy's little sister."
"It's a pleasure to meet you…"
"You called for Jeremy, didn't you?"
"No, no, no."
"You say you want your mom, but you really want Jeremy, right?"
"No, that isn't true."
"I'm sorry, we seem to be breaking up."
Candace could hear static coming from the phone. She wasn't falling for it. "Stop crinkling paper, I know that trick."
"Bye-bye."
Candace got desperate. "Wait! It's true, I want to speak to Jeremy."
"I thought so." Jeremy, some girl's on the phone for you! But never forget, I am and always will be Jeremy's favorite girl. Got it?"
Candace was beyond terrified. "I will."
"Jeremy here," came Jeremy's voice.
"Jeremy!" Candace shouted, completely unaware what to say.
"Candace?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"You know, your mom's over here for the book club."
"Yeah, I just have a silly question to ask her."
"Well, they're breaking for coffee. Wanna come over? We can hang out."
Candace covered the phone and screamed in excitement. "I mean, sure."
"Cool. See you in twenty minutes?"
Candace fainted.
"Now, I'm just gonna pick up a few things that Professor Destruction let me store here," Doof said as he packed his things. "If there's one thing Kevin understood, it's closet space. Now, I'll just grab my keys to the escape jet, and, I could've sworn I put them in my lab coat."
Perry noticed the keys on the floor right next to them. He quickly hid them.
Doof turned to Perry. "Hey, have you seen my keys?" Perry nodded. "Good, will you show me?" Perry shook his head. "Is this because you can't speak or are you just being a jerk?"
Candace was packing up some clothes.
"I can't believe it," she cheered. "I'm finally going to Jeremy's house. Okay, now, what would the perfect look be? I know, girl next door meets pop diva meets Hollywood bad girl crossed with an old-school glamor goddess. Now, I just gotta find the finishing touch."
Once Candace was done getting dressed, she went to the backyard to tell the boys where she was going.
"Hey boys," she said. "I'm off to the Johnsons' book club. Jeremy invited me."
Phineas smiled. This was perfect. He could get rid of some annoying hiccups, and he wouldn't have to worry about his goody two-shoes sister trying to get in the way.
"Have fun," was all he said.
"See ya," Candace said as she left the house.
Once Candace left, Buford, Baljeet, and the Fireside Girls showed up.
"Glad you could arrive on such short notice," Phineas said.
"This better be good," Buford warned as he punched his palm. "I had to ditch a canasta game for this."
"Isabella has been cursed…" The crowd gasped at Phineas' statement. "With hiccups." The crowd sighed. "We're building a haunted house to scare the hiccups out of her. To do so, we must dig deep into those terrible places any sane person shoves into the darkest, twisted corners of their mind. Each of you must find out what scares you the most. As you can see, today we're building a haunted house electronically controlled by this organ."
Phineas showed an organ as well as multiple monitors.
"Every room is monitored on these screens, and by playing the keys, I can trigger all sorts of surprises," he explained. "With your help, my friends, we can build this house with enough horror to destroy the involuntary contraction of Isabella's diaphragm muscle once and for all. Okay, let's get our scare on."
Doofenshmirtz' Mentor's Hideout
"Am I getting warmer?" Doof asked before noticing the couch. "Right, the sofa. My keys fell between the cushions."
He checked the sofa, but the keys were nowhere to be found.
"No?" Doof reacted. "Come on, Perry the Platypus. I defeated you fair and square. Why can't you accept your dignity and play 'you're getting hot or cold' with me?"
Perry didn't say anything.
"Fine, I'll find them myself and teach you the meaning of grace under fire." Right after saying that, Doof got down on his knees and begged. "Please, for the love of great Caesar's ghost, what would you have me do?"
Perry smiled. He could have some fun with this.
Play "It's Candace"
Candace biked down the street.
Who's that girl going down the street?
It's Candace
She's the girl next door, who's a pop diva by day and a Hollywood bad girl by night
Candace got a bit frustrated with that unnecessarily long line.
I'd like to meet, it's Candace
A flower seller handed Candace some flowers for free. They just flew away as Candace continued biking.
La la la la la la la
End "It's Candace"
Candace made it to the Johnson household. The door opened to reveal Suzy and her black poodle.
The poodle charged towards Candace and bit her leg.
"Get it off me!" Candace begged. "These are vintage jeans!" She noticed Suzy was about to turn on the sprinklers. "Wait, what are you doing?"
Suzy turned on the sprinklers, spraying Candace with water and making her slip onto some mud. Suzy then took control of an RC car and used it to spray mud on Candace's face.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Candace cried.
That's when Jeremy showed up. He noticed Candace covered in mud.
"Candace, what are you doing?" he asked.
"Upsies," Suzy said to cover her tracks.
Jeremy was about to pick up Suzy.
"Jeremy, don't!" Candace screamed. "She's evil!"
"Candace, what are you talking about?" Jeremy asked. "Suzy wouldn't hurt a fly."
"Can't you see? She's trying to get rid of me! I can't take it!" Candace was about to leave.
"Wait!"
"No, I might as well go while I still have a shred of dignity left!"
"Candace, come back!"
By then, Candace was already gone.
After waiting long enough, Isabella returned to the Flynn-Fletcher backyard.
"Hi, Phineas," she said as usual. "Whatcha do…" She noticed the large haunted house. "Phineas, what is this?" Hiccup. She turned around to see a large centipede. It terrified her. Hiccup. "Darn, that didn't work. What else you got?"
Phineas climbed out of the monster costume, revealing himself in a mad scientist costume.
"We got plenty," he assured. "If you're up for it."
"I…" Hiccup. "...guess so."
Play "One Good Scare Oughta Do It"
Phineas led Isabella inside the house.
Phineas:
Come, let's tiptoe into the dark
One good scare oughta do you
When the doors closed, there was nothing left but darkness… until the lights turned out to reveal a bunch of scary monsters.
Phineas then led Isabella down a hallway filled with live wolves.
You'll find our bite much worse than our bark
Phineas then led Isabella into another room. A swarm of ghosts popped out.
One good scare oughta do you some good
Phineas led Isabella up a large stairway.
At the top of the stairway, a large jack-in-the-box popped open.
If you should find the daily grind
A tad bit taxing on the mind
To help unwind, if so inclined
I have a small suggestion
Phineas then led Isabella down a hallway filled with shining armor. One of those armors dropped an ax right in front of them.
That if you dare into my lair
You should prepare for quite a scare
Well, will you share in this nightmare
With me, my only question
In the next room, Baljeet popped out dressed up as a large sheet of paper with the word, 'FAIL' stamped on it.
"Boo, boo I say," he said.
"Baljeet, what is this?" Phineas asked, frustratedly. "What part of scary did you not understand?"
"I am not Baljeet. I am the scariest thing known to man, a failed exam."
Phineas sighed. "And now I'll spend the rest of my summer having nightmares about school." He led Isabella to the next room. "Let's go."
"You can run, but it will not be to the college of your choice!" Baljeet called.
In the next room, a large robot sprang to life.
The wall spun, leading Phineas and Isabella into a hall filled with zombies.
If your hair lies lifeless and limp
One good scare oughta do you
The two ran down the hall.
Come with me, now, don't be a wimp
A spider hung down from a web. Phineas grabbed the spider, which pulled him and Isabella into the air.
One good scare oughta do you some good
In the next room, Phineas saw someone crying in the corner. It took him a second to realize who they were.
"Buford?" he asked.
"Behold, the face of evil," Buford said.
He came into the light to reveal himself dressed as a little blonde girl holding a puppy.
Phineas recognized the person Buford was pretending to be pretty quickly. "Wait, are you supposed to be Jeremy's little sister? You said you were gonna be something scary."
"She is scary. She gives me the willies."
"Little Suzy Johnson gives you the willies?"
"You don't understand!"
"Uh, we'll catch up with you later."
Buford turned to the little faucet and turned on the water. "Wash away the horror. Wash away the horror."
Phineas and Isabella got back on the spider, which took them higher and higher.
That is quite right, I would delight
In taking flight into the night
If I may give you such a fright
You know I surely would
Once they were at the top, Phineas and Isabella got on a small cart.
But if I seem a bit extreme
In my attempts to make you scream
Remember that this spooky scheme
Will cure your hiccups for good
The two rode this fast rollercoaster. Multiple images popped up around them. They all terrified Isabella.
One little scare oughta do you some good
End "One Good Scare Oughta Do It"
The two reached the end.
Ferb was there playing the organ. He was dressed as Frankenstein's monster. He made a maniacal laugh to top it all off.
"So, did it work?" Phineas asked.
Hiccup!
"I was afraid of that," Phineas sighed. "There's one more thing we can try."
Candace finally made it back home. She noticed the large house in her backyard.
"I don't believe this!" she gasped. "Those two are in such big trouble!"
"Let me get this straight," said Doof. "If I set you free, you'll give me the keys, right?" Perry nodded. "Oh for pete sake! Why didn't you say so an hour ago?"
Doof released Perry. He revealed the keys were under his paddle the whole time.
Doof hurried and finished packing everything. He then took off.
After flying far enough away from the island, he checked to make sure he didn't forget anything in his haste.
"My basketball, my lamp, my Christmas lights," he skimmed through. "Perry the Platypus, the Disintevaporator, my golf club…" He gasped when he realized what he saw. "Perry the Platypus? The Disintevaporator? My golf clubs? I don't even play golf!"
Before he could do anything, Perry tackled him. Perry was relentless, and didn't give Doof a chance to fight back.
Doof quickly got a hair out of his mouth.
He then used the Christmas lights to tie up Perry. Perry was sent flying to the back. He inadvertently opened up an emergency hatch. Everything started to get sucked out.
"Since you spared me the trouble of opening the hatch, let me show you the way out!" Doof shouted.
He got back in the cockpit and tilted the jet, sucking Perry out of the airlock.
Thankfully, Perry managed to grab the lights and use them to grab onto the jet.
"Okay, Ferb, raise the antenna," said Phineas. Ferb turned a crank. "Let's see if we can up the scare factor. You see, our haunted house is powered by static electricity. Maybe we can get a lightning strike to fire things up."
Candace entered the haunted house.
"Phineas, Ferb?" she called. The doors shut behind her. She tried to open them, but they wouldn't budge. "Okay, you guys! Stop fooling around! You better come out now! I'm getting really mad!"
That's when she noticed a large green monster in front of her. It opened its mouth to reveal a small head. It opened its mouth to reveal an even smaller head. So on and so forth.
Candace ran away screaming.
Candace ran around trying to find another way out. No matter where she went, there was always something scary waiting for her.
The antenna got struck by lightning, a little too much lightning. The system started to overload.
Candace ran into another room. She bumped into Buford. His Suzy costume terrified her even more.
At some point, Candace got launched by the jack-in-the box. She rode the coaster cart to the end.
When she saw Phineas and Ferb, she was beyond livid.
"Phineas, Ferb!" she screamed. "When Mom sees you built a haunted house in the backyard with werewolves and vampires, and a giant floating baby head, what's that even about?!" She gestured to the giant floating baby head in the room. "And then there was a giant jack-in-the-box with a suit of armor that almost took my head off, and you, you just drive me crazy! When Mom sees this, you're going down!"
Candace stomped to the elevator. She got in and noticed the giant floating baby head. She quickly shooed it away, making it cry.
When Candace made it out, she saw Linda's car pull up.
"Perfect!" she shouted. "Mom, Mom, Mom! Just wait until you see what Phineas and Ferb have done!"
A string of Christmas lights grabbed the antenna of the haunted house, pulling the house into the air.
Most of the kids made it out in the nick of time. Sadly, Phineas wasn't so lucky.
"What's going on?" he asked. "Help!"
Phineas fell off the edge. He was plummeting down to the ground.
"Phineas!" Isabella screamed, more terrified than ever. "Quick, sashes!"
The Fireside Girls brought out their sashes. They tied the sashes together to form a trampoline.
Phineas landed on the trampoline, and bounced right into Isabella's arms. The two looked at each other and blushed.
Isabella quickly set Phineas down before things could get more awkward.
"Now that was scary," she admitted. She didn't hiccup this time. "Hey, my hiccups are gone."
As the Fireside Girls left the backyard, Candace and Linda came in.
"Phineas and Ferb ruined the backyard and left this ugly mess in its place!" Candace shouted, expecting a haunted house to be behind her.
Little did she know the only one there was Baljeet.
"Hi, Baljeet," Linda greeted before turning to Candace with a disappointed look. "That wasn't very nice, Candace."
Perry landed on the roof of the haunted house.
Doof tossed the Disintevaporator down towards Perry. Perry jumped out of the way.
The Disintevaporator landed on the haunted house with enough force to disconnect the lights from it. The house fell to the ground.
Perry put on his parachute and used it to land on the ground safely.
Agent P
The haunted house landed back in the backyard. Candace saw it.
"Mom, it's back!" she shouted.
By the time Candace came back with Linda, the Disintevaporator eradicated the house.
When Linda came out, she saw Baljeet, now holding a bag.
"I forgot my satchel," he said.
"Goodbye," was all Linda said before she went back inside.
Candace turned around to see that the house was gone again. This infuriated her. Isabella noticed how upset Candace seemed to be.
"What's the problem?" she asked.
"Phineas and Ferb are the problem!" Candace snapped. "My day is ruined, and I never got to hang out with Jeremy!"
"Sorry, but it was the best day for me. Due to my case of the hiccups, I spent my day with undivided attention from Phineas. It was wonderful."
"Hiccups?" Candace got an idea.
"Hey, Candace," came Jeremy's voice. Candace turned around to see Jeremy there. "You ran off so quickly and we never got to…"
Candace pretended to hiccup.
"Sounds like you got a bad case of the hiccups," Jeremy reacted. "Let's see what we can do about that. I got a glass of water with your name on it."
Jeremy led Candace away. She noticed Suzy and made sure to give her a dirty look.
"What did I do?" Suzy asked. She turned to see Buford still dressed up as her. She couldn't help but recognize him. "I'm sorry, but do I know you?"
"Uh… gotta go," Buford said, running away as fast as he could.
Phineas and Ferb sat under the tree.
"That was a great day, Ferb," Phineas remarked. "What did you think the scariest thing was?"
"Definitely the giant floating baby head," Ferb admitted.
"Yeah, where did that come from?"
Ferb made a gesture that signified he didn't know.
A.N.
This was a fun write.
We got a few important developments here. We have our first hint of Phineas gaining a crush on Isabella, we're introduced to Jeremy's evil little sister, and we learn about Buford's fear of Suzy.
While the original show portrays Buford's fear of Suzy as a one-off joke, I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna make it a more serious part of Buford's character arc.
While they didn't truly start to develop Phineas and Isabella's relationship until very late in the show, I'm gonna fix that. Phineas is going to realize his feelings much sooner, and Phinabella will get together much sooner.
Speaking of development for Phineas, I decided to fix his character a bit. In the actual show, he didn't really have any flaws. He does have some humanizing moments here and there, which are usually executed well, but most of the time, he's a gary stu. I decided to fix that. In this version, he starts out making things for his own personal enjoyment. Even in this chapter when he helped Isabella get rid of her hiccups, it was mainly because he didn't want to deal with those annoying hiccups all day. However, as the story progresses, he'll start making inventions not just for his own personal enjoyment, but for others as well.
Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, and review.