Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 12
Ready for the Bettys
"We're giving away free tickets to see everyone's favorite girl rockers, The Bettys," said the announcer on the radio. Candace and Stacy squealed in excitement. "All you have to do is be the 444 and 4/4 caller…"
"I love fractions," said Candace.
"And you and your Betty buddy will get to ride with the band on the Betty bus to see the show." The two best friends squealed again. "Call now."
Candace dialed the number. "I gotta win! Clearly I'm their biggest fan!" She gestured to all the decor in her room, which was definitely not there before. "See? Even my Betty bomb box which rests on my Betty bedside table next to my Betty bed runs on Betty batteries."
"Obsession rocks," Stacy remarked.
"I know!" Candace heard the sound of the phone ringing. "Shh, it's ringing."
"Congratulations," said the announcer. "You're the winning caller."
The girls squealed once more. They then went to the closet to get changed.
"Imagine, a whole day with Crash and the band," said Candace. "And as an added bonus, a whole day of not thinking about my goofy brothers. Just me, you, and the Bettys."
Once they were done getting dressed, they heard a honk coming from outside. They looked outside to see the tour bus was already there.
The girls left the house. Their families waved goodbye.
"Bye!" said Lawrence. "Enjoy the concert!"
"Be careful!" said Linda.
"I can't believe we're about to board the Betty Bus!" said Candace.
"I bet the driver's gonna be a spaced-out rocker!" said Stacy.
The door opened to reveal that the bus driver was nothing more than an ordinary, albeit small for his age, man. He had short, blonde hair. He wore eyeglasses, a teal suit, a blue tie, and green pants.
"Hello girls," he greeted. "My name is Dennis, and I'm with the radio station." The girls heard an oink. They turned to see a pig hiding behind the seat. "That's Sir Bacon, the band's mascot. According to our focus groups, girls your age overwhelmingly find that cool."
Instead of being disgusted, the girls were chill about it.
They got on the bus and looked around. The bus looked like a complete mess, something you'd expect from a rock band.
"This place is a total pigsty," said Candace.
"WE LOVE IT!" the girls shouted in unison.
The two noticed the Bettys themselves, Crash, Tink, and Missy, sitting together and minding their own business.
"We ride a bus between shows," Crash sang before noticing Candace and Stacy. "Here come two chicks nobody knows."
"We're your biggest fans!" said Candace. "We won the contest, and now we get to hang out with you ALL DAY!"
"Just keep it down," said Crash. "We're trying to write a song."
The girls nodded. The Bettys started to play their instruments.
"This is amazing!" Stacy screamed.
The Bettys sighed. Crash got up and approached them.
"Tell me girls, would you like to be part of the music-making process and help us write a song?" she asked.
"Would we?" the girls replied.
"Right. First off, no one can write a song in this filth, so you girls can start by cleaning up the bus." Crash handed them buckets and mops. "Here you go."
Phineas and Ferb were looking at blueprints they had planned out the day before.
"What should we do today, Ferb?" asked Phineas. "An escalator to the moon, become secret agents, or clone giant hamsters?" That's when Phineas realized Perry was gone. He sighed. "I wonder where Perry goes when we can't find him."
Phineas leaned his head against the tree. He felt himself push a button.
The boys turned to see that a door on the tree opened.
"What the…?" Phineas wondered. "Secret room? Wow."
The boys entered the room. The floor opened and they both started to fall.
When they landed, the boys found themselves in a large lair. There were many scientific devices in it.
"What is this?" Phineas wondered. "A secret underground headquarters with a particle disruptor and a hovercraft. Looks like we're gonna be secret agents." He turned to Ferb. "When did you find the time to build all this, Ferb?"
Ferb had no recollection of being here before. "Actually, I…"
Before he could finish, a screen turned on to reveal a man with white hair and a white mustache. It looked like he was reading something off of a clipboard.
"Hello, Agent P," he said. "Hang on. It's here somewhere on this clipboard from which I have yet to look up."
Phineas had no idea what was going on. "Agent P, short for Phineas. Nice touch, Ferb."
"Actually…" Ferb was about to say.
"Ah, yes, here it is," said the man. "Doctor Doofenshmirtz, what a surprise, building some sort of destructo ray, end of the world, yada yada yada, I'm faxing you the coordinates."
A piece of paper printed out of the chair.
"Cool," said Phineas.
Monogram finally realized Perry wasn't the one in the lair. It was a couple of kids.
"Great googly-moogly!" he shouted. He squatted down so he wasn't in camera view. He turned to the one controlling the camera, Carl the Intern. "Carl, who are those kids?"
"Oh boy, they're Agent P's owners," said Carl. "Looks like they found one of our secret tunnels."
"Sweet!" said Phineas. "We got our mission, Agent F. To the hover jet!"
The boys got on the hover jet and flew off.
Perry just arrived in the lair to see someone flying off on the hover jet. He didn't see who it was.
"Is that the hover jet?" came Monogram's voice. "Oh no, they didn't." Monogram turned to Perry. "There you are, Agent P. Those boys are in jeopardy and not covered under our insurance plan. Stop Doofenshmirtz and protect those boys."
Perry activated the hover feature on his chair and went after his owners.
Perry
Monogram then turned to Carl. "And where are you going Mr. The-Boys-Will-Never-Find-A-Tree-Tunnel?"
Candace and Stacy finally finished cleaning the bus.
"We can't get to our song until we deal with our fan mail," said Crash. "Think you could help?"
"OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH!"
"Great," Tink said as she tossed a large sack of fan mail. "You can start with this bag."
"And here's the shredder," Missy said as she brought out the shredder.
While shredding the mail, Candace noticed one letter that looked familiar. It read…
Beloved Bettys,
Your band is the biggest, baddest, most banging buncha babes from Boston to Burbank. I've barely bathed since I began blogging about your banging beats.
Your biggest Betty Band fan,
Candace.
"Hey, this is my letter," she realized. "They didn't even read it."
"Don't forget," Stacy reminded. "We're on a bus helping a band write a song."
"Yeah, I guess you're right, and you know what the best part is? I haven't even thought of my brothers all day."
Perry found Doof's new hideout. Thankfully, Phineas and Ferb weren't around.
That's when Doof came in with a grilled-cheese sandwich and a glass of orange juice.
"Nothing like a nice snack before testing the Destruct-Inator…" he said to himself.
Before he could finish, Perry jumped at him. He grabbed Doof's nose and threw him onto the floor.
Candace and Stacy finally finished shredding all 250,000 letters.
"I just thought of something," said Tink. "The outside of this bus is dirty too."
The girls strapped themselves on some cords and hung off the side of the bus.
"You know, Stacy?" said Candace. "I'm starting to think that the Bettys have just been taking advantage of us this whole time."
"What are you talking about?" asked Stacy. "They've been nothing but… look out!"
The girls almost got hit by a truck. Thankfully, they just narrowly avoided it.
Right after that, Stacy continued to speak like nothing happened. "...nice to us since we got on the bus."
Perry was using a table to block the tennis balls being launched by Doof's automatic tennis ball server. When the time was right, he ran towards the server and aimed it towards the Destruct-Inator. When the ball hit the inator, it started a countdown.
That's when Perry noticed Phineas and Ferb were almost here. He grabbed Doof and carried him into the supply closet.
"Perry the Platypus, what is going on?" Doof asked.
Perry covered Doof's mouth with a mop.
Candace and Stacy finished washing the outside of the bus.
"Great work, girls," said Crash. "You've earned a special 'surprise.' You get to scrub the toilets."
"Yay!" Stacy cheered.
By now, Candace had enough.
"We're done being your tour monkeys!" she snapped. "You've just been using us this whole trip! Is this how you treat your fans? It should be your fans that inspire you to make music. If you can't see that by now, then you can just drop me off at the next stop."
Candace walked away.
The Bettys processed what Candace said. They finally realized their mistake.
"Unfortunately, she's right," Crash admitted.
"I feel like a Betty Butthead," Tink added.
The Bettys approached Candace.
"We're sorry for treating you so badly," Missy apologized. "How can we ever make it up to you? I'll let you play my Betty Bongos."
"Or my Betty Bass Guitar," Tink suggested.
"That's it," Crash said before she started to sing. "You better bang your Betty Bongos and bring your Betty Bass Guitar and with the Betty back-beat…"
Candace rolled her eyes. "You'll go Betty-Betty far?"
"Perfect!"
That cheered Candace up.
That's when Dennis showed up.
"Hey girls, what's going on?" he asked.
"I just helped the Bettys write," Candace replied before she realized, "Wait a second. If you're here then who's driving?"
"Come on. I'll show you."
Dennis led Candace to the driver's seat to reveal the bus was on autopilot.
Phineas and Ferb entered the cave. Phineas looked around and admired the decor.
"I see you carved it out with dynamite," he remarked. "Nice. Cool, you got an automatic tennis ball server. Sweet." He turned to Ferb. "Seriously, when did you make all this?"
"For the last time, I…" Ferb was about to reply.
He was interrupted by the Destruct-Inator going off. It destroyed the nearby bridge.
Candace and Dennis screamed when they realized they were heading towards a broken bridge. To make matters worse, Dennis fainted.
Seeing no other choice, Candace got in the driver's seat and tried to hit the brakes. Nothing happened.
"There's something wrong with the Betty Brakes!" she panicked. "And I can't turn off the autopilot!"
Candace then tried pulling the emergency brake. It just broke off.
"How did you make a working Destructo Ray?" Phineas asked. The boys then noticed a bus heading towards the edge. "Wait, that's Candace's bus! Wait, that's the mission! We gotta save Candace!"
The boys got back on the hover jet. They flew after the bus.
With the boys gone, Perry quickly pushed the Destructo Ray off the edge.
"Curse you Perry the…" Doof was about to say.
That's when the tennis ball launcher launched a mop into his mouth.
Perry then noticed the bus heading towards the edge. He got on his hover-chair and flew after it.
The bus fell off the edge. Phineas and Ferb tried to use the jet's magnet ray to save them. It was too heavy.
Thankfully, Perry got under the bus and used some claws on the hover-chair to pull it up.
Together, the three got the bus back on the road.
"We did it, Candace is safe!" said Phineas. "Agent F, let's head home."
The boys flew home.
"Way to go, Candace!" Crash cheered as she and the Bettys hugged Candace. "Now we're your biggest fans! How can we ever return the favor?"
"You can always come to my house and clean up my room," Candace replied jokingly.
All four laughed.
"How about you sing with us on stage instead?" Crash suggested.
Candace gasped in excitement. "It's a deal!"
Stacy finally returned from cleaning up the bathroom.
"What did I miss?" she asked.
"I can't wait to go home and tell Mom about our secret spy adventure," said Phineas. That's when the hover jet froze. "Hey, what's going on? It's like we're stuck in a tractor beam?"
Neither of the boys noticed that Perry did catch them in a tractor beam. He tipped them over. They fell in a pool.
Agent P
That pool happened to be Isabella's. She was relaxing next to the pool enjoying the summer sun when the boys ruined it for her.
"Hey guys, whatcha doin?" she asked.
"That, my friend, is classified information," Phineas replied, imitating James Bond.
"No, seriously. What are you doing?"
Linda was busy baking a pie.
"What a great day," she said to herself. "Not one phone call from Candace with some crazy unbelievable story…"
That's when Phineas and Ferb came in, soaking wet.
"Mom, guess what Ferb did!" said Phineas. "He made a secret tunnel and a spy headquarters and a villain's lair and a hover jet shaped like Perry! Tell her, Ferb."
"Actually…" Ferb was about to say.
"Hold on, why are you two soaking wet?" asked Linda.
By this point, Ferb had enough. He stormed off to his room. "I give up!"
"We fell in Isabella's pool," Phineas replied.
"Now that I believe," said Linda. That's when Perry showed up. "Oh, hi Perry. I wonder how Candace is doing."
That night, the Bettys were beginning their concert.
"We'd like to bring a very special person to the stage!" Crash announced. "She's not only our best fan, but she also saved our lives! Ladies and gentlemen, Candace and her best friend, Stacy!"
Play "Ready for the Bettys"
Crash:
You gotta bang your Betty Bongos
And bring your Betty Bass Guitar
And with the Betty back-beat
You'll go Betty-Betty far
So drop your boring baggage
And come with Missy, Tink, and Crash
There's a Betty Betty Bandwagon
Going to a Betty Bash
Get ready for the Bettys
Ready for the Bettys
Get ready for the Bettys
Ready for the Bettys
Get ready for the Bettys
Ready for the Bettys
It's the best thing you can do
Get ready for the Bettys
'Cause the Bettys are ready for you
"What do you think your brothers are doing right now?" Stacy asked Candace.
"Who cares?" Candace replied.
End "Ready for the Bettys"
Thanks for reading.