just like a blue gem shining

By: Aviantei

Part Fourteen:

"Where the Sea Parts"

Rairi is trying not to be filled with worry, for all the good that's doing them. While they didn't expect for this round to be, like, perfect or anything, they were hoping for something a little bit easier to navigate. The past half a year since Rairi, Zenitsu, and Kaigaku woke up has been, all things considered, good. There are still moments of tension, still nightmares that slip into the hours of the night, but there are also conversations and sharing futons, there are moments where the three of them and Sensei can just be, a family all together that Rairi didn't realize they were craving until they came back and it was right there, in front of them.

In their last life, they ended up with a big family. Part of that was by nature of including everyone else's kids as part of theirs, even if they weren't related by blood. Tanjirō and Kanao, Inosuke and Aoi, Nezuko and Genya—all of them made their own families, too, and that made everything lively. Add in Rairi and Zenitsu's own five children, not to mention Michi and the other Thunder Breathing apprentices, and then the grandchildren… Someone was always coming in and out of the Thunder Estate, and it was bustling. Rairi never got the chance to be alone; family was always close at hand, and they loved it.

They also would've loved if Kaigaku and Sensei were around to see it. And that's why every last moment Rairi's had with the four of them, their little family together has been so very precious.

Those moments are still precious, and it's even more precious that Shimizu is with them. While Rairi and Kaigaku were away at Ubuyashiki Manor, Shimizu went with Zenitsu and adjusted to the Thunder Estate. She has her own guest room (which, as far as Rairi is concerned can be her room period, for as much as that matters whenever they're on the cusp of living on the road as Demon Slayers), she talks with Sensei and Kimiko-san and Saori-san, and it looks like she and Zenitsu are getting along even better than they did last time since the wall of Shimizu keeping her transmigration secret under wraps is no longer there.

The problem is Kaigaku—or, rather, the problem is that Shimizu and Kaigaku have yet to be stable enough to be in the same room for a prolonged period of time, let alone have a conversation. All things considered, being able to exist around each other for a couple of minutes is better than nothing, but the atmosphere is strained, and it's not sustainable in the slightest.

Rairi wants both of them to be happy, because they love them both.

Rairi isn't sure that they can be happy around each other, which, from a very selfish position, kinda sucks balls.

Of course, if that's not on the table, Rairi isn't going to force anything. If someone dropped, for example, Kibutsuji Muzan in front of them and said, "Hey, this one regrets everything he did and is trying to make things better, so play nice!", Rairi would let their mouth go wild and have a very disparaging tirade happening that exact moment. That Kaigaku's willing to own up to what he did and try to work through it means the world, but it's not Rairi alone who gets to make the call about that.

Shimizu does, too.

Fuck do I hate that therapy doesn't quite exist right now, Rairi thinks for the thousandth time since their first arrival in the Taishō Era as they haul the laundry down to the river. While they do miss other modern conveniences (say, washing machines), those are manageable enough. Not having any solid concept of mental health care, on the other hand, has affected way more people than they can account for, and it's sure making things rougher right now. If nothing else, Shimizu got some sort of anti-anxiety medication equivalent from Tamayo, which is a start, but using compatible pills is just one part of good mental health care. Guidance and counseling and hard work are all just as important, and sometimes Rairi thinks it's a goddamn miracle they and Zenitsu and everyone else that made it through last round were able to be as happy as they were, even with ghosts of the past lingering in the marrow of their bones.

Rairi did their best back then. And Rairi is doing their best now. But they're not a counselor, and that means they, like every other human being, have limits.

Jesus, do I wish every mess was as easy to clean up as the laundry. They thought so before and they still think so now: washing everything by hand, as much of a pain as it is, sure is therapeutic, almost like rinsing away the suds is taking their stress with it. The trick is, even if they ease up their stress, more is just going to come after it, considering that the source isn't going anywhere until Shimizu and Kaigaku figure something out. And even if what they decide is to keep away from each other, I'm gonna have to make peace with that, huh?

Releasing a heavy sigh, Rairi stares up at the clear summer sky above.

Sometimes, being mature just outright sucks.

Shimizu's brain is doing that thing where it's feeling negative feelings, and then it feels guilty for having said negative feelings, so then she tries to push them down, but that of course doesn't work, so she feels even guiltier and her negative feelings are worse, so it's a lose-lose situation all around. What's even worse is that she knows that's what's going to happen, but she can't quite cut the habit, and so she has to watch herself barreling forward towards its inevitable crash, just like the Mugen Train, and even thinking that metaphor is enough to make her feel worse.

Shimizu hates Kaigaku.

She's never had strong enough feelings about someone to hate them before.

It's not fair, and she knows it. Being face to face with Kokushibō isn't an enviable position in the slightest. Whenever the choices are become a demon or die, there's no good option. Shimizu was in a similar situation, and she went for death, but that doesn't mean she expects everyone to do the same. And once you've become a demon, well, Canon made it very clear all of a person's worst traits are forced right to the forefront. Anger and jealousy exploded and made a mess, and Kaigaku stood even less of a chance of making good choices whenever Muzan outright ordered him to hunt her down.

Shimizu's logical mind understands that.

The scared part of her brain that got her arm cut off and was tortured while Kaigaku did nothing to save her has other concerns.

Whenever Rairi and Kaigaku made it back from Headquarters, Shimizu didn't even bother pretending; she took a couple of her pills before she even had the chance to see him. Even then, with Tamayo's Blood Demon Art mixed with medicine, something like fear and horror clenched at her chest whenever she saw him. Kaigaku looked stricken as he stared at her, and Shimizu's certain he regrets everything he did, but, again, those are all sorts of feelings that she doesn't have anywhere near the mental space to process. Sharing meals without talking to each other is about all that Shimizu can manage, and, even then, her stock of pills is dwindling much quicker than she'd like.

I…can't do this.

Not right now. Not yet. And that's the source of the guilt and the cyclic thoughts and the gross feelings. Even with Rairi and Zenitsu helping her keep routine, Shimizu can feel the way that depression drags her down, inch by inch and closer to despair. Shimizu would love it if she could move on and be happy, just like that, but it doesn't work like that.

You went through a lot, Shimizu-chan, Zenitsu said. It's okay for that to linger. You…you don't need to get over it. The words still sound like a dream, but Shimizu's sure of one thing:

There sure as hell isn't going to be a happy ending if she forces herself to endure.

That doesn't make the thought of breaking the news to Rairi any less awful, though.

From a logical perspective, it makes sense for Hanai to be wearing the mask. The whole point is to keep the Corps' swordsmiths safe, after all. But since Rairi spent way more time seeing Hanai without the mask than not, it's a bit strange to see the exaggerated features of the winking hyottoko again, rather than the face they know lies beneath. The effect is multiplied by the other swordsmith with them, a man with a sun-pattern on his haori and his hair kept beneath a dotted headscarf—no doubt the infamous Haganezuka that Shimizu was unhinged enough to ask for.

"It's nice to meet you," Hanai says, and those words don't get easier to hear, no matter how many familiar mouths speak them. "I am Hanai, and this is Haganezuka. We're both swordsmiths who have come to deliver your Nichirin swords."

Haganezuka is, for all the stories Rairi has heard, a piece of work, beyond particular about Nichirin swords and smithing in general. Even whenever the Demon Slayer Corps was no longer necessary, the man still spent the rest of his life in a forge, never stopping creating, even in his old age. He was both Shimizu and Tanjirō's swordsmith, and the latter was fond of him, despite the way Haganezuka was wont to fly into a rage whenever the slightest damage happened to one of his blades. And yet, despite the fact that many consider him a nightmare to work with, Shimizu requested him to make her sword anyways.

Which is, well, a choice. But he was also a Canon character, so Rairi guesses there's some fan bias there and doesn't judge.

Whenever it comes to their sword, however, there's no other blade they'd want to wield than one made by Hanai-san. Not just because of the hard work Hanai put in last time, but because Hanai's mother had forged Sensei's swords whenever he was still an active Hashira, and that generational tie feels important in a way that Rairi doesn't have words for.

"Thank you for your hard work, Hanai-san," Rairi says, dipping in a bow. Hanai doesn't just have one sword in the bundle around their back, but three, and that's a massive amount of effort to take care of in a couple of weeks. "I know it mustn't have been easy to make multiple swords on short notice…"

Hanai shakes their head. "Whenever Final Selection comes up, we're all busy making appropriate swords and test blades. Kuwajima-dono sent word a few months prior that he would be sending all three of his students to Final Selection, so I had some advance warning and could get a head start." Which, in extension, means that Sensei thought they would all be capable of passing, even before he had them go on the night hunt for the demons. That makes Rairi feel all sorts of feelings, yes it does, but at least these are good ones. "I'm glad I had the opportunity to make you all a matching set."

"Where's the girl?" Haganezuka asks, looking antsy as all get out as he smashes through any sentimentality in the moment. "I want to see what kind of sword she gets." He takes a few steps inside the entryway, looking about as if he's going to spot Shimizu just around the corner, in hiding. Yup, he's a man with a mission, and Rairi knows from equal parts hearsay and experience that there's going to be no sense in trying to talk him down. Lucky for them, Saori-san heard the commotion, and so she's made her way to the entrance.

"Ah, Saori-san. Our swordsmiths are here. Can you take them to the sitting room while I go get the others?"

"Of course, Rairi-sama. I'll look for Jigorō as well."

"Much appreciated."

With their powers combined, it doesn't take more than a handful of minutes to have all of the residents of the Thunder Estate gathered in one place. Haganezuka wastes no time in unwrapping his work and shoving the sword at Shimizu, her almost tearing up as she looks at the familiar blade with its turquoise and magenta hilt. Hanai takes their time, laying out their katana, and Rairi's also feeling misty-eyed as they see three swords with identical patterns save for the primary colors: grey, black, and white.

Without even needing to say anything, Rairi, Kaigaku, and Zenitsu take their familiar choices, then look at each other and nod. Shimizu's already had her blade forced into her hands so that the Nichirin has turned a crisp, gorgeous blue (Haganezuka's disappointment at not seeing a fabled red blade is immeasurable, and his day is ruined), but the three students of Thunder Breathing shuffle apart to have space, draw their blades as one, and make sure to breathe while the swords react to them.

As one, three golden lightning bolts trace their way up the Nichirin, the result being three katana that match in every way shape and form.

The lightning bolt that signals one has a strong potential for Thunder Breathing. For Zenitsu and Kaigaku, that was a given, considering that they both had the pattern last time. But for Rairi, all of the swords they ever had turned the pure golden yellow that matched Sensei's own. Not seeing it again is a bit bittersweet.

"You…you did it!" Zenitsu shouts, breaking the silence. His own blade is put aside, and he rushes to hug them as best he can while they still have live steel in their hands. "Rairi, you did it! You're amazing!"

Kaigaku comes to hug Rairi from the other side, sneaking in a kiss against their hair in the process. "Guess I'll have to keep working hard so I don't fall behind."

Shimizu smiles. "Congratulations, Rairi-kun," she says, and Rairi lets the moment sink in. If they have the lightning bolt, too, that means they have even greater potential than before—which means they might just have a shot at making this time better, after all.

"Congratulations to all of you," Sensei says, and that also includes Shimizu. For the four of them, reaching this point might have felt like a given, but it's still an accomplishment. They've become Demon Slayers, through and through. In part, it feels like things are just beginning, but that shouldn't take away all the effort and work that got them to this point. "Now, I know you all have grand ambitions about what you'll be doing for the Demon Slayer Corps, but we'll be dining in celebration first. Hanai, Haganezuka, you're welcome to join us."

Tomorrow, Rairi thinks. Tomorrow starts the six months we have to prove our worth to Oyakata-sama.

But for tonight, they'll enjoy the moment with their loved ones so that they can always remember the peace and happiness they're fighting for.

Whenever Rairi wakes up, Zenitsu is dead asleep at their side, and Rairi just takes a moment to admire his face. There's something so peaceful to see that, while he grew, his expressions are the same. Rairi kisses his forehead and extracts themself from the futon, squinting at the light outside to tell that they're up earlier than usual, but that's fine. Today's the day they're going to hit the road as Demon Slayers, and the thought of leaving the Thunder Estate behind (though they'll be able to return) is enough to make them want to wander the grounds and just soak it all in before they go.

And so they find themself meandering about the halls to make sure the place is secure in their memory. Even recollections of helping wipe the walls and floors down feel precious, as does hanging up laundry in the courtyard. It may have just been for a year, but being there as an apprentice again was special, a reminder of everything good and wonderful that Rairi couldn't fully appreciate last time as they dealt with the shock of being isekai'd.

Now, they can't quite imagine calling home anywhere else.

As they stand in the middle of the courtyard, watching the sky up above slide through the colors of sunrise, Shimizu emerges from one of the doors to sit on the engawa. Without even needing to be asked, Rairi goes and sits beside her. A few moments pass, the two of them admiring the heavens, and Rairi has spent enough time with Zenitsu in their life to recognize whenever someone's nervous beyond words.

"Shimizu-chan," they say, keeping their voice soft, "whatever you need to tell me, I won't hold it against you."

That seems to be the right words, because Shimizu opens her mouth. It takes her a bit longer to produce any sound, and, when she does, her expression is apologetic. "Rairi-kun," she whispers, "I can't go with you right now." Rairi suspected that was what this was about, but it still sucks to hear. "It's too much. Being here, being around him…that's easier because I can always go somewhere else. But being on the road together, having to fight together? I'm…I'm not ready for that. I'm not sure I ever will be."

To hear it all spoken out sucks, and Rairi's heart does that nasty twisting sensation, but they make themself nod, remind themself to keep their expression kind. "I understand." Rairi's mind is already thinking up desperate alternatives, ways to make everything work—what if they and Shimizu go together while Kaigaku and Zenitsu also travel as a pair?—but the thought of that is awful, too. There's gonna have to be a compromise, but Rairi also doesn't want to put pressure on Shimizu to do something they want. She's the one that needs to recover, so she should get to decide. So long as whatever she picks isn't going to be outright harmful to her well-being, Rairi will support it. "What do you want to do, then?"

"I'll go on my own for now. I need to go and check-in with Tamayo-san anyways. I don't think she'd appreciate me bringing any of you along until I have the chance to explain that you're the same as me."

Considering that they can't afford to lose Tamayo's support, Rairi doesn't have much ground to argue, but they still want to. "Okay," they say, glad that years of being a teacher have helped them keep their cool, "but I'm still worried." Worried about what could happen because of their plot changes. Worried about Shimizu being alone during a depressive episode. "I just want you to be safe, Shimizu-chan."

"I know you do, Rairi-kun. But I promise I'll make regular stops here and at Wisteria Houses. I'll write you if I need anything. And your mentorship program is happening, so I'll have someone with me soon. I…I have something I want to fight for, so I don't plan to give up." She reaches out with both hands, clasping one of Rairi's tight. "This time, things will be different, right?"

"This time, things will be different." It feels like a promise, a vow between them. "Thunder Breathing's all about speed. If you need me, let me know. I'll be there, alright? No matter what."

"I know you will, Rairi-kun." And Shimizu's smile is beauty and sadness all wrapped up into one. "I promise. I'll keep fighting so I can be strong enough to stand with all of you. Now go kick some ass, okay?"

"Yeah. You, too."

They may be walking their separate ways, but Rairi just knows their paths will cross again. I'll make sure of it.

[Author's Notes]

And so we reach what I feel is the natural place to call part one of this project! I'll fully admit that when I started to poking this I didn't expect it to move slower than the original walk steady, but that's fine. With our main quartet as Demon Slayers proper, we can really start to mess with the Canon continuity proper!

Thanks to ToonyTwilight, Hwang Manuel, Thallion, and Skychung, for the comment, reviews, faves and follows on the walk steady series. I appreciate you all.

In my heart of hearts I wanted to write Shimizu hanging out with the Thunder Trio, but that's not quite possible just yet. We will get there, tho! This fix-it is gonna have a happy ending, no matter what.

Also actual Kaigaku content on the new Infinity Castle poster raaaa.

I've set the posting date for the new blue gem chapter as April 12. Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[26 March 2025]