The children of light, a simpsons fanfic

Chapter One: The Throne Room

The secret palace of the Stonecutters was not an ordinary palace. It was an immense cavern carved

into the heart of Mount Springfield, with vaulted ceilings that stretched higher than the tallest

skyscraper in town. The walls shimmered with an eerie golden glow, illuminated by streams of

molten lava trickling down expertly crafted stone channels. At the very center of the room, on a

throne carved from the mountain itself, sat Homer J. Simpson: Supreme Leader of the World

It wasn't a throne in the traditional sense—more of an oversized recliner with plush cushions that

Homer had ordered specially from Sky Mall. Surrounding him were his advisors, each draped in

elaborate robes adorned with golden insignias of their secret society. The advisors prattled on about

global diplomacy, resource management, and securing alliances with foreign leaders, but Homer

wasn't listening

Homer slouched deep into the throne, one hand idly scratching his gut while the other reached for

another donut from the tray that rested precariously on the armrest. He had tried to pay attention at

first—honestly, he had. But as soon as someone said "monetary policy," his mind had drifted to

thoughts of beer, bowling, and Marge's pork chops

Yes, Supreme Leader, we must act swiftly on these trade agreements," droned Karl, one of his

senior advisors. His tone was urgent, his face serious. "The fate of the world rests in your hands

Mmm… fate donuts…" Homer murmured, staring dreamily at the sprinkle-covered treat he was

holding

Another advisor, Lenny, sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Boss, you really need to focus.

You're the ruler of the world now. This is important

Important, shmimportant," Homer grumbled, tossing the donut into his mouth. He spoke with his

mouth full, crumbs spraying everywhere. "I've been sitting on this throne for hours! You think world

domination is easy? I wanna go home and watch TV

The advisors exchanged worried glances. They knew their leader's attention span was as fleeting as a

snowflake on a summer's day. But as members of the Stonecutters, they had sworn an oath to obey

and protect the Supreme Leader, no matter how… unconventional his approach might be

Your Majesty," spoke a third advisor, Smithers, in his ever-loyal tone, "may I remind you that this is

your destiny. You are the Chosen One—the Keeper of the Sacred Parchment—the wielder of the

Unbroken Seal. The world looks to you for guidance

Yeah, yeah, destiny," Homer waved his hand dismissively. "You guys have fun talking about boring

stuff. I'm gonna see if the palace has a karaoke machine

Before anyone could respond, Homer stood up, grabbing a goblet of Duff beer from a side table. He

shuffled toward the grand doors of the throne room, his slippers echoing on the polished stone floor.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be in the Supreme Leader's Lounge. And tell someone to send over a pizza

As the doors slammed shut behind him, the advisors stood in stunned silence. Karl broke the quiet

with a nervous laugh. "Well, I guess that's one way to run the world

"…

Chapter Two: Home Sweet Springfield

The palace's grand doors closed behind Homer as he stepped into the secret tunnel that led out of

Mount Springfield. With a press of a button hidden inside his ceremonial scepter—really just a

glorified TV remote—the tunnel transformed into an escalator that carried him lazily upward

Finally, some peace and quiet," Homer muttered. "Ruling the world is exhausting. I deserve a

break… and maybe a bucket of fried chicken

After a short ride, Homer emerged in a nondescript garage on the outskirts of Springfield, cleverly

disguised as Moe's Tavern's storage shed. From there, he drove home in his beat-up pink sedan,

humming along to "Baby Elephant Walk" on the car radio

As he pulled into the driveway, Homer noticed something unusual—Maggie's pacifier was hanging

from the mailbox. This was the family's code for "dinner is ready." Homer grinned, his stomach

rumbling

Inside, Marge was bustling around the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on a casserole that

smelled like heaven. Lisa sat at the dining table, immersed in a book titled The Ethical Economy: A

Guide for the Modern Age, while Bart was busy sticking googly eyes onto the salt shaker

Hiya, Marge!" Homer beamed, plopping onto the couch instead of joining his family. "What's for

dinner

Marge peeked her head around the corner with a tired but loving smile. "It's pork chops and

applesauce, dear. Why don't you come sit at the table

Can't," Homer replied, flipping on the TV. "The Supreme Leader needs his relaxation time

Hmm… supreme leader of what?" Bart asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow

Uh… of donuts! Yep, donuts. I'm the King of All Sprinkles." Homer winked and chuckled nervously,

grabbing the salt shaker from Bart and accidentally sprinkling googly eyes onto his lap

Lisa didn't look up from her book. "Dad, you're acting weird. Do you want to talk about it

Nope! Everything's normal here. Just a regular ol' Joe having dinner with his loving family. Nothing

suspicious at all. Ha-ha-ha!" Homer's laughter echoed awkwardly through the house

Eventually, Marge coaxed Homer to the table, and the Simpson family shared their meal while

exchanging stories about their day. Homer had to bite his tongue when Bart described how he had

accidentally launched a toy rocket into Principal Skinner's office earlier. No ruler of the world could

reveal their identity during a conversation about middle school antics

But the real surprise came after dinner. As the family cleared the table, Marge turned to Homer and

casually announced, "Don't forget, tonight's PTA meeting at Springfield Elementary. You promised

you'd go this time

Homer's eyes widened in horror. "What?! But—but—I have worldly duties! I mean… uh… beer

bowling! I was planning to… uh… alphabetize my sprinkle collection

Lisa crossed her arms. "Dad, you never go to the meetings. You need to support Bart and me at

school. It's your responsibility as a parent

Bart snickered. "Yeah, come on, sprinkle king. Show us how much you care

Homer groaned, slouching deeper into his chair. He loved his kids, but sitting in a room full of boring

adults talking about boring school stuff wasn't exactly his idea of a fun evening. Still, Marge's

expectant gaze was enough to guilt him into action

Fine," he grumbled. "But if Principal Skinner has donuts, they'd better have extra sprinkles

Chapter Three: Supreme Anger at the PTA

As Homer trudged into the crowded gymnasium of Springfield Elementary, he was already grumbling

under his breath. The fluorescent lights buzzed obnoxiously, the fold-out chairs squeaked against the

linoleum floor, and the room smelled faintly of chalk dust and despair. It was, in Homer's eyes, the

least supreme setting imaginable for someone of his stature

He scanned the room, spotting familiar faces—the usual suspects. Parents, teachers, a smattering of

bored kids, and… him

There, standing smugly at the front of the room, was Principal Seymour Skinner. The man who dared

call this PTA meeting on the same evening Homer had been promised supreme leisure. But worse

than that, Skinner wasn't just any ordinary school administrator. He was a fellow Stonecutter—one

who clearly should've known better than to waste their leader's precious time with trivialities like

bake sales and budget reports

Homer stomped over to Skinner, hands on hips. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. 'I-Think-I-Can-Boss-

Around-The-Supreme-Leader'! Care to explain yourself, Skinner

Skinner blinked, clearly caught off guard. "Uh, Supreme—uh, Homer, this is a PTA meeting. It's… a

normal part of school operations

Oh, is it, Stonecutter Number Sixty-Seven?" Homer growled, lowering his voice so no one else could

hear. "Because last time I checked, you work for me. You didn't even clear this with my schedule

Technically, this falls under my school duties, which

—

Homer cut him off with a dramatic wave of his hand. "Blah, blah, blah. I should be at home right now,

eating donuts and watching TV. Instead, I'm here listening to you babble about field trip funding. Do

you know what happens when I'm unhappy, Skinner

Skinner gulped. "Uh… bad things

That's right!" Homer nodded vigorously. "Bad things. Now, I'll let this slide just this once. But if you

ever pull a stunt like this again, I'll… I'll… revoke your Stonecutter parking privileges

Before Skinner could respond, Homer stormed off to find a seat. He plopped down beside Marge,

who was chatting politely with Mrs. Krabappel. Marge raised an eyebrow at her husband's flushed

face

Are you okay, Homie? You look upset

Upset? Who, me? Nooo," Homer said through gritted teeth, forcing an unconvincing smile. "I'm

perfectly fine. Just thrilled to be here, supporting our children's education

Bart, sitting a few seats down, snickered. "Smooth, Dad. Real smooth

As the meeting droned on, Homer's patience wore thinner by the second. Every time Skinner spoke,

Homer shot him a glare so intense it could've melted chalk. But Skinner, ever the professional,

carried on as if nothing was amiss

Finally, it was time for the dreaded Q session. Homer saw his chance. He shot up from his chair,

raising his hand

Yes, Homer," Skinner said, looking wary

I have a question," Homer began, narrowing his eyes. "Why does the PTA think it's okay to have

meetings about school stuff when there are way more important issues we could be discussing?

Like… uh… better donuts in the teacher's lounge

The room fell silent. Marge buried her face in her hands, while Lisa shook her head in exasperation.

Skinner cleared his throat, forcing a strained smile. "Thank you for your input, Homer. We'll be sure

to—uh—take that under advisement

Satisfied, Homer sat back down, whispering to himself, "That's right. Fear the Supreme Leader

that was great. ok...lets move on from skinner. whle the meeting continues. homer starts to get tired.

ok...now lets move on to lisas point of view. in the middle of the meeting lisa finds out sth. there are

two black suited man near the area. they are not visible since they are inside the shadows. but as the

parents are resting alittle from the meeting lisa figures that the mens head are all in her dads way.

she narrows her eyes. whats this all about? she goes to bart at the behind scnece where he and

millhouse are trying to pull a pranking plan on skinner in to acton

I love the intrigue and suspense you're adding to the story! Here's the next chapter, shifting to Lisa's

perspective

Chapter Four: Shadows in the Gym

Lisa Simpson prided herself on being observant. As the PTA meeting dragged on, with parents and

teachers pausing for a much-needed coffee break, she found herself scanning the room out of sheer

boredom. The hum of polite chatter mingled with the faint clinking of Styrofoam cups as everyone

milled about, but something felt… off

Out of the corner of her eye, Lisa noticed movement in the shadows near the far corner of the gym.

Two figures lingered there, barely visible. They were dressed in sharp black suits, their faces

obscured by the dim lighting. Lisa narrowed her eyes, her analytical mind kicking into high gear

At first, she dismissed them as maybe just school staff or district officials trying to stay out of the way,

but then she realized something odd. Every time Homer moved—whether he scratched his head,

yawned loudly, or adjusted his chair—the mysterious men subtly shifted their position, as if their

entire focus was on him. Their heads were perfectly aligned, tracking her dad's every move. It was

strange. No—suspicious

What in the world…?" Lisa whispered to herself

Curiosity burned within her. She couldn't ignore it—not when her dad, of all people, seemed to be

the center of whatever was happening. She had to get to the bottom of this. Rising quietly from her

seat, Lisa slipped away toward the back of the gym, unnoticed amidst the bustle

She turned a corner and entered the behind-the-scenes area of the school, a maze of dusty hallways

and supply closets. It didn't take long to find Bart—his voice was hard to miss. He and Milhouse were

huddled together near the janitor's closet, giggling mischievously as they assembled some kind of…

contraption. Duct tape, rubber bands, and an alarming amount of toilet paper rolls were scattered

around them

This is gonna be epic!" Bart whispered, holding up a bottle of soda attached to a plastic funnel.

"When Skinner goes to his podium, we'll launch this bad boy and turn him into a walking paper

mummy

Are you sure this is safe?" Milhouse asked, adjusting his glasses nervously. "I mean, last time you

said that, we got banned from the school cafeteria for a month

"…

Relax, Milhouse. This time, it's foolproof! Now, hand me that Mentos tube

Before Bart could finish his latest scheme, Lisa marched up to them, arms crossed. "Bart, what are

you doing

Lisa!" Bart yelped, nearly dropping the soda bottle. "Uh, nothing! Just, uh, doing some boring

science homework. You wouldn't be interested

Cut the act," Lisa said. "I don't have time for your pranks right now. Something weird is going on

Bart blinked. "Weirder than you storming in here and ruining my plans

Much weirder," Lisa replied, lowering her voice. "There are two men in black suits near the gym

entrance, and they're watching Dad

Watching Dad?" Bart echoed, tilting his head. "Why would anyone waste time spying on Homer

Simpson? What's he gonna do, accidentally set off the fire alarm by eating a donut

That's what I want to find out," Lisa said, ignoring his sarcasm. "It doesn't make sense. They're

staying in the shadows, trying not to be seen—but it's obvious they're focused on Dad. Don't you

think that's… strange

Milhouse gasped dramatically. "What if they're secret agents? Ooh, maybe your dad's in the FBI and

never told you

Bart snickered. "Yeah, right. Dad couldn't even pass the quiz to become a mall cop

Lisa frowned, ignoring their banter. "Look, I don't know who they are or what they're doing, but I

have a bad feeling about this. We need to figure out who they are before Dad gets himself into

trouble—or worse

Bart hesitated, looking at Lisa's serious expression. As much as he loved to tease her, he knew when

she was onto something. "Alright," he said with a grin, tossing the Mentos tube to Milhouse. "This

prank can wait. Let's go check out these shadowy creeps

Thank you," Lisa said, relieved. "Now let's move quickly. We don't want them to leave before we

figure out what's going on

With that, the Simpson siblings and Milhouse crept back toward the gym, their curiosity driving them

closer to the truth—and potentially, deeper into a mystery they never expected

Chapter Five: Glimpses in the Shadows

Lisa, Bart, and Milhouse tiptoed through the back hallways, careful to avoid the adults lingering near

the gymnasium entrance. They reached a storage nook that gave them a discreet vantage point

overlooking the area where Lisa had seen the mysterious men earlier. She motioned for Bart and

Milhouse to crouch behind a stack of folding chairs, her own eyes locked on the corner shrouded in

shadows

There they are," Lisa whispered, pointing. Sure enough, the two men in black suits were still

standing there, partially obscured by the dim light. They seemed completely out of place at a PTA

meeting, like chess pieces on the wrong board. The way they stood, rigid and alert, sent a shiver

down Lisa's spine

Milhouse peeked over the top of the chairs and let out a quiet gasp. "They look like secret agents!

What if they're here to arrest Skinner for his terrible cafeteria food

Don't be ridiculous, Milhouse," Lisa whispered back. "Look at how they're positioned. They're not

focused on the meeting—they're focused on Dad. It's like they're waiting for something

Bart squinted at the figures, trying to make sense of it. "Okay, yeah, that's weird. But why would

anyone be interested in Dad? He's not exactly… secret-agent material

I don't know," Lisa admitted, frustration creeping into her voice. "But this isn't normal. And

whatever it is, I don't think it's good

They watched in silence for a moment longer, hoping to catch some kind of clue. One of the men

lifted a hand to his earpiece, murmuring something too faint for them to hear. The other glanced

briefly toward Homer's direction, then went back to scanning the room

What are they saying?" Milhouse whispered nervously. "Do you think they're talking about your

dad

Probably," Lisa replied. "But I can't make out the words. If only I had some kind of recording

device

—

Bart cut her off with a nudge. "Hey, Brainiac, we don't need gadgets. We just need to get closer. You

know, sneak up and

—

Absolutely not!" Lisa hissed. "It's too risky. If they're dangerous, we can't let them know we've

spotted them. We need to play this smart

Milhouse raised his hand timidly. "Um, maybe we could

—

No time for 'maybes,' Milhouse," Bart said, his mischievous grin returning. "I say we grab the soda

launcher and distract them. Then Lisa can sneak in and

—

No pranks!" Lisa interjected, giving Bart a sharp look. "We're not here to mess around. We're here

to figure out what's going on without drawing attention to ourselves

Bart groaned, leaning back against the folding chairs. "Fine, fine. Have it your way, Detective Lisa. But

staring at shadows isn't gonna solve anything

Lisa ignored him, her mind racing. She couldn't let this go, but she also couldn't afford to confront

the men without more information. For now, all she had were questions. Who were they? Why were

they watching Homer? And, most importantly, did her dad know something that she didn't

Come on," Lisa finally said, pulling Bart and Milhouse back toward the hallway. "We can't do

anything else here without getting caught. Let's head back to the meeting and keep an eye on Dad.

Maybe we'll pick up on something if we stay close to him

As they retreated, Lisa cast one last glance over her shoulder. The men in black hadn't moved, their

focus still locked on Homer. Whatever game they were playing, Lisa knew she'd only uncovered the

edge of the puzzle. And for now, that would have to be enough

Chapter Six: A Supreme Blunder

Homer yawned loudly, slumping deeper into his folding chair as the PTA meeting dragged on. His

mind was far from discussions about bake sales and school budgets; he was daydreaming about a

world where dinner meetings were replaced by all-you-can-eat buffets. As he absentmindedly

reached for a donut-shaped lint ball in his pocket, his attention was caught by something unusual

He noticed Lisa sitting a few rows ahead, sneaking glances over her shoulder. Her normally calm and

focused expression was tinged with suspicion. Bart and Milhouse, seated near the back of the gym,

were up to their usual antics, but even they seemed distracted by something—or someone. Homer

squinted, following their gazes across the room, until his own eyes landed on the two shadowy

figures lingering near the gym entrance

Homer's stomach dropped, his eyes widening in alarm. Not again

He recognized those suits anywhere—standard-issue attire for the Stonecutters' elite security force.

The very same security force he had explicitly told the Stonecutter elders to keep confined to the

palace. After all, he didn't need bodyguards trailing him around Springfield like some kind of

paranoid dictator. But did they listen? Of course not. Those meddling elders always thought they

knew best. And now, thanks to their overzealous "protection protocols," his carefully guarded secret

was at risk of unraveling

Homer tugged at the collar of his shirt, suddenly feeling like he was in a sauna. If Lisa, Bart, or—he

gulped—Marge put two and two together, they'd start asking questions he couldn't answer.

Questions like, "Why are secret agents following you around, Homer?" and "Why is there a secret

palace inside Mount Springfield

He needed to act fast

Homer leaned toward Marge, who was busy chatting with Mrs. Krabappel about the school's library

fundraiser. "Uh, honey, I think I left the oven on," he whispered

Marge raised an eyebrow. "Homer, we didn't use the oven today

Oh, uh, then maybe it's… the microwave! You know, for reheating leftovers. Gotta keep the power

bill down, right

Marge narrowed her eyes but shrugged. "Fine, but don't take too long. They're about to talk about

the music program, and Lisa will want us to—Homer

Before she could finish, Homer was already on his feet, making a beeline for the gym exit. He didn't

even notice Lisa narrowing her eyes at his sudden departure

Meanwhile, behind the gym

…

Bart and Milhouse were scrambling to assemble their latest prank—this time involving a well-placed

bucket of glitter and a spring-loaded contraption designed to explode confetti when triggered. "This

is gonna be the best prank yet!" Bart whispered, adjusting the angle of the bucket. "Principal Skinner

won't know what hit him

Lisa burst onto the scene, startling them both. "Bart! Forget about your dumb prank. We have a

bigger problem

What's bigger than covering Skinner in glitter?" Bart asked, unimpressed

Dad just left the gym, and those men in black suits are still watching him," Lisa said urgently.

"Something's going on, and I think he knows more than he's letting on

Milhouse gasped. "What if they've kidnapped him

They didn't kidnap him," Lisa said, exasperated. "But he's acting really strange—well, stranger than

usual. We need to figure out what's going on before this gets out of hand

Bart hesitated, glancing between Lisa's serious expression and the glitter bucket. "Fine," he said at

last. "But if Skinner survives without a single speck of glitter on him, it's on you, Lisa

Back near the entrance

…

Homer had cornered the two Stonecutter agents just outside the gym doors, his face red with

frustration. "What are you two bozos doing here?!" he hissed. "I told the elders I didn't need

babysitters

The taller of the two agents adjusted his sunglasses. "Supreme Leader, we are under strict orders to

ensure your safety at all times

—

Yeah, yeah, 'Supreme Leader' this, 'orders' that," Homer interrupted, waving his hands dramatically.

"Do you have any idea how suspicious you look? My kids are in there! What if they figure out I'm the

ruler of the world, huh? What am I supposed to say? 'Surprise, kids, your dad's a big shot and also

has a secret palace under Mount Springfield'? They'll never buy it

Sir," the shorter agent began cautiously, "if you'd prefer, we could

—

No! No more 'preferring'! You two need to leave. Now!" Homer jabbed a finger toward the exit.

"And if the elders ask, tell them I'm perfectly capable of handling a PTA meeting without ending up in

a hostage situation

The agents exchanged uncertain glances but ultimately obeyed, retreating toward the parking lot.

Homer let out a sigh of relief, wiping sweat from his forehead

Crisis averted," he muttered. But as he turned to head back inside, he caught sight of Lisa and Bart

sneaking around the corner, their eyes filled with questions

Uh-oh," Homer whispered. "This just got a whole lot harder

Chapter Seven: A Supreme Smile

Homer paused, took a deep breath, and plastered the widest, most innocent smile he could muster

onto his face. As he approached Lisa, Bart, and Milhouse, who were huddled near the gym's back

entrance, he tried to come up with an excuse that wouldn't raise any suspicions. But Homer being

Homer, his version of "thinking fast" was more like "panicking with style

Hey, kiddos!" Homer called out, his voice unnaturally cheery. "What are you all doing here?

Shouldn't you be inside… um… learning how to PTA or something

Lisa crossed her arms, her expression skeptical. "Shouldn't you be inside, Dad? You left pretty

abruptly

Me? Oh, I just, uh…" Homer fumbled for a reason. "I thought I saw a donut truck outside and

wanted to make sure it didn't hit any stray… squirrels." He nodded, as if his story were perfectly

airtight

Bart raised an eyebrow. "A donut truck? Really, Dad

Yes, a donut truck!" Homer insisted, his voice climbing an octave. "But, uh, turns out it was just a

regular old… vegetable truck. Boring, right

Lisa wasn't buying it. She pointed toward the now-empty corner where the men in black had been

standing. "Then why were you talking to those two men in suits? They didn't look like donut delivery

guys to me

Homer's smile faltered for a split second before he recovered. "Oh, those guys? Totally normal!

They're, uh… door-to-door vacuum salesmen! Yeah, they wanted to sell me a Supreme Leader

edition vacuum cleaner—wait, I mean just a regular vacuum cleaner. Nothing weird about that

Milhouse whispered loudly to Bart, "I didn't know vacuums came with a 'Supreme Leader' edition

"…

Homer coughed nervously and waved his hands. "The point is, there's nothing to worry about!

Everything's fine, super fine, the finest! Now, why don't we all go back inside and enjoy the exciting

world of PTA discussions, huh

Lisa's eyes narrowed. "Dad, you're acting really strange tonight. Is there something you're not telling

Of course not!" Homer said, breaking into a nervous laugh. "Why would I keep secrets from my

loving family? That would be… inconceivable! Heh heh

"…

Bart and Lisa exchanged a glance. They didn't have all the pieces yet, but one thing was clear: Homer

was definitely hiding something. And Lisa, ever the investigator, wasn't going to let it go until she

found out what

Alright, Dad," Lisa said finally, her tone cautious. "We'll go back inside… for now. But I'm keeping an

eye on you

Me too!" Milhouse chimed in, though no one had asked

Great, good, perfect!" Homer said, herding the kids back toward the gym. "Let's all pretend this

never happened and focus on… uh… whatever boring PTA stuff they're talking about! Maybe there's

coffee! Mmm, coffee

"…

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Springfield

…

Deep beneath the city, in the hidden halls of the Stonecutters' palace, the elders were in a heated

discussion. The Supreme Leader's erratic behavior had not gone unnoticed, and some members were

growing concerned

We must act cautiously," one elder said, stroking his long beard. "If Homer's identity is revealed to

the public, it could jeopardize everything we've worked for

Perhaps we were wrong to elect him Supreme Leader in the first place," another elder muttered.

"He's… unconventional, to say the least

Unconventional or not, he is the Chosen One," a third elder reminded them. "We must trust the

prophecy. And besides, his instincts—however unusual—have kept us safe so far

The room fell silent as the elders contemplated their next move. Somewhere, in the distance, the

faint sound of Homer's triumphant karaoke rendition of "Spider-Pig" echoed through the halls

Chapter Eight: The Round Table Reckoning

The hidden palace within Mount Springfield, with its maze-like corridors and grand chambers, was

eerily quiet that morning. In the center of the palace's inner sanctum, Homer sat at the head of an

enormous round table made of black obsidian, which gleamed ominously under the flickering light of

golden chandeliers. Around him, the Stonecutter elders—respected members of their secretive

order—were seated, their robes draped solemnly as they waited for their Supreme Leader to speak

Homer, however, was not his usual carefree self

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and steepling his fingers in an attempt to appear

commanding. His expression was a mix of irritation and determination, and his usual slouch had

been replaced by an authoritative posture. It was clear that he had been stewing over the events of

the previous night, and now, he was ready to let the elders have it

So," Homer began, his voice low and controlled, "do any of you geniuses want to explain why there

were bodyguards tailing me at a PTA meeting

The elders exchanged nervous glances, their usual stoic composure faltering under Homer's gaze.

Finally, the eldest of them all, a white-bearded man known as Number One, cleared his throat and

spoke. "Supreme Leader, it was a precautionary measure. We only sought to ensure your safety

Homer's eyes narrowed. "My safety? My safety? I was sitting in a gym with a bunch of parents talking

about bake sales and band practice! The most dangerous thing there was the coffee—they ran out of

sugar packets halfway through

We understand your frustration, Supreme Leader," another elder chimed in, his voice calm but

cautious. "But as the ruler of the world, your safety is paramount. You are the cornerstone of our

order

I am also a husband and a father," Homer shot back, his tone sharpening. "Do you know how close

my kids were to figuring out something was up? Lisa's already suspicious, and if she finds out the

truth, this whole secret society thing is toast. And if Marge finds out—hoo boy—she'll be angrier

than the time I filled the fridge with nothing but Duff beer

There was an uncomfortable silence as the elders absorbed his words. Homer leaned back in his

chair, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Look," he continued, his voice softer now but

still firm, "I get that you're trying to help. But I'm not some fragile snowflake that needs to be

wrapped in bubble wrap. I've been doing this Supreme Leader thing for a while now, and guess

what? I'm still here. No explosions, no coups, no nothing

Number One nodded slowly. "You make a valid point, Supreme Leader. However, the responsibility

we bear is great. We cannot afford to take risks, no matter how small they may seem

Well, maybe you should trust me to handle myself for once," Homer said, crossing his arms.

"Because I don't need guys in suits lurking in the shadows and making me look like some kind of

paranoid weirdo

Another elder, a younger and more enthusiastic member of the group, spoke up hesitantly.

"Perhaps… perhaps we could come to a compromise? A way to ensure both your safety and your

discretion

Homer raised an eyebrow. "I'm listening

The young elder continued, "We could limit the presence of guards to palace grounds unless there is

a direct, credible threat against you. Outside the palace, we would rely on covert surveillance—

discreet, unobtrusive, and completely hidden from view

Homer considered this for a moment, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Hidden, huh? Like, super

hidden? No sunglasses? No creepy standing-in-shadows routine

Precisely," the young elder nodded. "It would be as if they weren't there at all

Homer mulled it over, then finally sighed. "Fine. But if I see even one earpiece or black suit outside

this palace, you're all on toilet-cleaning duty for a month. Got it

Yes, Supreme Leader," the elders replied in unison, relief washing over their faces

Good," Homer said, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied smile. "Now, let's move on to more

important matters. Like, uh… what's for lunch? Is it pizza day? Please tell me it's pizza day