Daiki Aomine had gotten used to walking with a shadow by his side. He had gotten used to talking to him, laughing with him, smiling with him. He had gotten used to rubbing his fist into soft, pale blue hair, sometimes able to hold onto his cool, slim wrist. He had gotten used to the scent of soap, with a hint of vanilla mixed into it. He had gotten used to wanting, and having.
He didn't know when he started walking faster, however. He didn't know when he had started running. Running towards something, or away from something. Or maybe he was just running because it was all he could do. All heknewhow to do. Because everything else had blurred for him. The present was in shambles, the past honed in on him like a nearing storm, and the future became transparent.
He didn't know when, but he stopped running, because it felt cold. And empty. In his heart, in his lungs, in his mind, it felt empty. He stopped because he stopped hearing it. That laugh.
When he turned, he realized that he looked back at nothing, where a pair of pale blue eyes should've been.
He had walked too fast, strayed too far. Had forgotten the shadow at his side, had only a flicker of his name. He started wanting, and only wanting. A want with no end.
Tetsu.
Tetsu.
Tetsu.
"I'm here."
His eyes opened, and his shadow was ended there, kneeling beside him with eyes full of rare emotion. He had missed those eyes, had missed seeing those pale lips and shining hair. He absentmindedly reached out for that hair, running his fingers over a few strands. "Tetsu," he murmured.
Tetsuya Kuroko had a hand brushing against Daiki's aching cheek, the memory of his father's slap still vivid. All that seemed to dissipate, however, into the cool and gentle touch that covered the bruise. "You were calling me in your sleep," Kuroko told the ace, his voice quiet and soft. "Were you dreaming about me?"
It was so like his shadow to be blunt like that and not be embarrassed about it. Aomine closed his eyes and found himself...leaning into the boy's touch. "Hmm," was all that came out of him, the sound a mere grumble.
Kuroko placed his palm against Aomine's cheek, and the touch was refreshing, especially as Aomine began to register how sore and hot he was. His ankle throbbed, his cheek hurt, and his entire body felt like it was on fire. Not to mention the pounding headache on all sides of his head, and the cuts on his feet that he had gotten from walking through snow and rocks to get to Taiga Kagami's house. His back also ached, no doubt from sleeping on the living room floor. The futon Kagami had scrounged up for him provided little comfort.
He managed to pry his eyes open enough to assess his surroundings. He found his childhood friend, Satsuke Momoi, sitting behind Kuroko, a first-aid kit open before her on the table and a thermometer gauge in her hands. Her eyes were focused, but tired. He was just as tired. Too tired to clench either hand into a fist at that.
Kagami was in the kitchen, from the sounds of it. Probably making breakfast. As if sensing his attention, Kagami began to talk. "Kuroko, it seems, has a habit of barging into my place without any word, text, or even call of warning, so don't go thinking I had any part in this."Don't tell Tetsu about this,Daiki had told him the previous night.
"You're the one who gave me a key," Kuroko argued.
"It's foremergencies, Idiot!"
"You can always have it back and give it to Hyuuga."
Kagami peeked around the corner to look at Kuroko dryly. "No. I trust you the most. It's fine. It's not like you're bringing gangsters in or anything."
"Dai-chan is a ganguro, though," Momoi said.
"Hah?" Daiki found himself rasping, lifting his head up to snap something, maybe "shut up," like he usually resorted to, but his head flashed with dizziness, forcing him back down.
A gentle hand cradled the back of his head, lowering it slowly. "You have a fever," Kuroko informed him. "You should rest today. Momoi-san already told your team for you."
Momoi tensed, and Aomine didn't miss it. "Tetsu called me about your ankle. He got here before me. It's most likely sprained, but I still want you to get it checked out. I...you're on the bench for two weeks," she said, and Aomine started, but she went on before he could say anything. "I don't care if you hate me for it, or call me 'ugly' again. I don't care what you have to say. I won't let you hurt yourself even more, Daiki." She looked at him with pain-filled eyes, and it shot a dagger of guilt into his heart. He had really messed up the previous time she had done this, calling her things that had her running away from him. In the rain, no less. Right after she had disappeared, he had gone after her, looking for her, worried sick about the person he had always thought of as a little sister to him. The person who had stuck by his side, time and time again, no matter how bad he was towards her and other people.
Kuroko sided with Momoi. "I agree with Momoi-san. It's best if you let your ankle heal fully before playing again." He gave a small smile that had the dizziness in Aomine's head shrinking a bit. "But I'm glad you want to practice, Aomine-kun."
Call me Daiki, dang had no idea where the thought had sprung from. His lips thinned. "Fine. I wasn't going to push it anyway." He looked at Momoi. "Sorry...Satsuke."
She knew what he meant. She smiled and patted his hand. "Always, Dai-chan. Always."
He suddenly remembered them as kids, that first time he had run out of home crying because his parents wouldn't stop fighting. I'll be here, Momoi had assured him. Promised him. Always.
Aomine had gotten tired of laying on the ground, so Kagami had helped him sit on a bean bag Momoi had gone back home to drag over after a lot of pestering from Kuroko.
He's my shadow.
That ticked him off more than he wanted to admit. There were a lot of things about Kagami that ticked him him off.
But what ticked him off the most? Aomine watched from the bean bag as Kagami ruffled Kuroko's hair in response to the boy's expressed gratitude before going back to the kitchen to get the food. He felt his muscles tense.
It was you, Tetsu.
Momoi had never brought up that moment, when Aomine had cried in the stands after realizing what, exactly, he had lost. After he had realized that he may have won game after game, but in the end...he lost something far more important.
Himself. Kuroko. His teammates. Even Momoi, in a way. He had lost his smile, his laugh, the deep sense of companionship among his teammates. He had lost all of that, and it sent sparks through him. Guilt, anger, remorse, regret. Everything negative.
Sure, things were alright now. But would it last? Would things stay like this for long?
Would he lose his Tetsu again?
...his?
He shoved the thoughts far, far away and focused on the boy that was bringing over a cup of tea. Kuroko set it down on the table next to his chair. Aomine found himself watching him. The way his hair shifted with each movement, spilling over his dull, yet captivating eyes. The way his skin was like porcelain, perfect for the Phantom Sixth Man of the Generation of Miracles. Perfect for a shadow.
"How much do you know?" Aomine asked quietly.
Kuroko met his gaze, his own unflinching, as it had always been. Brutally honest. "I pieced most of it together just by looking at you." Concern softened his eyes. "Are you okay?"
The question alone threatened to undo him. He swallowed down the thing he'd never allowed himself to do before. Not for this reason. Not for this wound that never seemed to close. "I'm fine."
Kuroko didn't look away. "Everybody says that."
"Everybody asks that," he returned.
Kuroko didn't look amused. Not even a little. "Do I need to...contact someone?"
Momoi was doing her best not to look like she was eavesdropping. This was a conversation they had had several times throughout the years. And each time, Aomine said the same thing. "No. It's not like this happens all the time."
Kuroko frowned. "It shouldn't be happening at all." Kuroko crouched by the bean bag and traced a cool finger over Aomine's wrist. There was no reason to do it. He just...wanted to. Wanted to feel the ace's familiar heat. The scent of him - faint cologne and sunshine - hit his nostrils like a faint tendril of smoke. "You probably don't want to talk about it." A hesitant pause. Aomine had never seen Kuroko struggle for words. "Should I call Akashi-kun? He might know what to do."
"And Midorima," Momoi murmured from where she was casually looking at Kagami's framed photos, her eyes lingering on the one of the Seirin basketball team. The corners of her lips tugged up almost imperceptibly, but it dissipated when she looked over, done with pretending like she wasn't also concerned. "His family owns a law firm. I'm sure he would help you out."
Gosh, they were talking about court now. Aomine rubbed his throbbing head. "No. Stop. I'm fine. I don't need help. I just need to stay here for a few days," he argued.
"I'll bet you my apartment that you'll be saying that within two months again," Kagami said as he walked in from the kitchen, handing Momoi a plate of food. She looked like she wanted to protest, but Kagami wasn't even paying attention to her, so she just thanked him and took the plate, starting on the very well done, sunny-side up eggs. Basketball player and cook - a delightful combination.
Aomine managed a glare towards him this time. "No one asked."
"Aomine-kun," Kuroko said with a hint of a scolding tone. "Kagami-kun is only so tolerant. I can't keep him from tossing you out like you're parents did."
It was the wrong thing to say. Aomine stiffened, eyes snapping to Kuroko's. Kuroko amended, "I didn't mean it like that."
But he had. It didn't have to be worded that bluntly, but Kagami most likelywouldthrow Aomine out if he acted out of line. He could always stay with Momoi, but her parents had always been wary of him, and he didn't want to cause her more trouble than he already had. Kuroko...
His aunt, as wild as she was, would most likely take him in, but the pair weren't that well-off. Kuroko often had to (reluctantly) leech off of Akashi when it came to buying basketball supplies. Shoes, bandages, cooling patches - Akashi handled all of that, the stupid jerk. He had always been so spoiling of Kuroko in his own way. Never making him run more than he could, always training with him, hanging out with him, saying stupid things like, "I'm glad I met you," or "Basketball is always more fun with a player like you on the court."
His hand turned into a fist.
Aomine released it and threw his head back on the beanbag. "I don't care," he eventually said, and meant it. He really didn't. He was used to it. Used to being thrown out, neglected. Used to walking so fast that when he looked back, no one was there anymore. And now...he was getting used to wanting without having.
He looked at Kuroko, who was already staring at him. He narrowed his eyes. "What?"
Kuroko didn't beat around the bush. "You're red, Aomine-kun. Is your fever still high?" He reached up to feel his forehead with the back of his hand, and Aomine jerked at the sudden coolness against his head, his heart cracking a little at the gentleness in the gesture. Gosh, something was going on in his head, because looking at Kuroko did something to him. Maybe he was more than sick. Was he mentally ill, too? He thought things had cleared up between him and the phantom player, but...
He had never said, "Sorry," had he. Neither had the others. They all hung out again, laughed and smiled again, but they all also made a point not to speak of middle school. Not to address something that probably should be talked about. Even if they were friends again, there was an open wound that needed to be stitched before things dried out again.
He hadn't even realized he had passed out until he was looking at Momoi, her hand on his forehead instead of Kuroko. He squinted. "Tetsu?"
She angled her head and gave him an awkward look. "I'm not Tetsu."
"No. I mean, where's Tetsu?" he clarified. Gosh, his head hurt. He needed that cool touch again, needed to be closer to it. Maybe if-
He mentally smacked himself.
He was mentally ill.
He had to be.
'Cause there was no way he was suddenly thinking about Kuroko like this.
"Oh," Momoi let out, a relieved smile on her face. "I thought another screw was coming loose for a second."
"Hah?"
"Anyways," she quickly went on, taking her hand back. "It's taken a bit, but your fever is coming down. That's good. As for Tetsu, he's at the store with Kagami and Nigou. They're getting you medicine."
He couldn't help but wrinkle his nose up at the mention of Bakagami. "Why is he withhim?"
"They're partners," Momoi said simply, looking at him in confusion. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Are you okay?
He took her hand, remembering how he used to lead her through the dark alleys when they were kids, because she had been terrified of the dark but wanted to stay out all fricken day for some reason. "I'm tired," he whispered. "Satsuke."
Her heart broke. "Let me help you," she told him. They were having this argument again. "Even Tetsu said it. This isn't normal, Daiki. You shouldn't be..." She teared up. "You shouldn't be walking through the snow on barefeet, just because your parents got made about you breaking curfew. You should've told them you were late because of me. I feel awful. I-"
"Stop it," he interrupted, brushing away a tear. "I couldn't do that to you. You know they'd only phone your folks."
"Then we could both be in trouble," she argued. "Together. Isn't that what we do?"
How could she not understand? He didn't want to bring her down with him anymore. He was drowning, and she was willing to do it with him. That ticked him off. "I think I like Tetsu," he suddenly said, and their starting argument was completely forgotten.
She yanked back. "What?"