The Prince's Delima

It was one of those days where Tiabeanie had to wear a dress. She hated wearing dresses. And she hated getting her hair done up like swirled-up ice cream. She also had to wear a light blue dress with white frills around her sleeves and waist. The reason that Bean had to dress for this occasion was for the dinner party. Yes, another dinner party. And worst of all, it was with the Duke of Twinke Town, his wife, Beatrice, and his annoying little son, Bertram. Why do we have to have so many dinner parties? Bean thought. And it's always with the most irritating people. When Bean voiced this thought, her father, King Zog, replied with the usual irritable response, "You need to start doing my princess work and stop being a lazy, drunken degenerate!" He bellowed. Typical, Bean thought. Bean stood at the castle entrance with Zog, Oona, and Derek while waiting for their guest to arrive. However, someone was missing.

Zog looked around. "Where is that boy?" He grumbled. He looked at Bean and asked, "Bean, where is your brother?"

Bean shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't seen him much at all since I got back."

Derek looked nervous and stiff as his eyes shifted from Bean to Zog. He coughed and twiddled his thumbs, trying not to look suspicious, which he was failing at. But none of them seem to notice at all.

Zog rubbed his face and let out a deep and irritated groan. "What the hell has gotten into that boy lately? Beanie, do me a favor and go look for your brother."

"What? Why me? Go make Derek do it!" Bean snapped.

"Stop yapping and go get him!"

Bean let out a loud and annoyed groan as she turned around and headed into the castle, grumbling under her breath. Bean walked the stone hallways, stomping. She roughly opened the door to his room. "Tavish, what the heck? Everyone is waiting for—" Her eyes widened. Laying in her brother's bed wasn't only Tavish but also her best friend, Hilda. The two were completely naked, and their clothes scattered across the floor.

"B-Bean?!" Hilda gasped—her face bright red, and she quickly moved to sheets to cover her body.

"What is with people and not knocking?!" said Tavish, glaring at Bean.

"I…uhhh…" Bean stood there, staring at the two in complete shock. "When did…since when did…" She shook her head. "What do you mean knocking? You have a lock on your door, you know!"

"Bean, what do you want?" Tavish asked. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of…" He blushed. "Something…"

"Oh yeah, you're in the middle of something, alright…" Bean crossed her arms and smirked. "I didn't know you knew how to do that stuff."

Hilda snorts and covers her mouth to laugh.

Tavish's face went entirely red. "Just get out!" He grabs his pillow and tosses it at Bean, only for her to catch it.

"You realize that the dinner party with the Duke of Twinkle Town, Bertram, and his wife is today, right?" She raised a brow.

Tavish's jaw dropped. "Oh my lord…that's today?!"

"Uh, yeah? Why do you think I'm wearing this stupid dress?"

"I don't know, to look good for once?"

Bean frowned at her brother and tossed the pillow back at him. "Just put some clothes on your pasty white ass and hurry up!" She grabs the doorknob and slams the door.

Hilda sighed. "That's twice in a row that we've been caught. I guess messing around the castle wasn't a good idea, huh?"

Tavish shrugged. "It was fun," He gets out of bed and walks to his closet. "Hopefully, Derek is not traumatized…he's the one that caught us in the middle of…doing it…"

"He'll be fine!" said Hilda, getting out of bed and grabbing her clothes off the floor. "Besides, he's getting to that age where he needs to know anyway."

"I'd better make sure to explain it to him. I couldn't imagine how father would explain it to him," Tavish began picturing the conversation. "You see, Derek, when a man and women love each other very much…they uhhhhh…uhhhh…wrestle!" He mocked Zog's tone and mannerisms. "And when the wrestling's over! a baby is born!"

Hilda burst out into a fit of laughter. "It technically is 'wrestling' in a way, so he's not too far off!" The former thief said while placing on her pants, followed by her dark grey top.

"I'd rather not explain it childishly like that," The prince replied, dressed in red and gold attire.

Hilda walks over to Tavish and straightens up his collar. "Well, the little guy could use some childish explanation. Keeping things simple like that is not too bad."

"I suppose…" Tavish smiled at Hilda. "We should get going. They could be arriving at any moment."

Hilda exhaled softly through her nostrils. "Ok…"

Tavish grasped Hilda's hands. "It won't be long…we'll meet back afterward, ok?"

Hilda smiled at her lover. "Alright. Try not to kill them, ok?"

"Oh, it's just Bertram and his family. They're not…too terrible," Tavish rubs Hilda's cheek and kisses her forehead. "I love you, Hilda…"

"I love you too Tav," Hilda leaned in and kissed the prince deeply. After the two shared a blissful kiss, they left the room. Outside Tavish's room, Bean had her back against the stone wall with her arms crossed. Hilda awkwardly waved at Bean before she said bye to her and sneaked out of the castle.

The princess smiles smugly at her brother.

Tavish's cheek flushed. "What?" he said, annoyed.

"I didn't think that talk with Hilda went THAT well,"

Tavish rubbed his face embarrassingly as the two walked down the stone hallways. Bean continued the teasing. "Like, I didn't even know you knew what sex was!"

"What are you talking about?!" Tavish snapped his eyes onto Bean.

"I don't know. You always come off as the guy who'd look at sex and say, 'Sex isn't a requirement for my life!' Oh, wait! I thought you said that love was a waste of time and got in the way of your goals. Wellll, welll welll look at you now!" Bean was grinning from ear to ear.

Tavish just mumbled under his breath. "Yeah yeah…whatever…"

"I'm happy for the two of you," Bean smiled warmly at her brother. "Seeing you not scowling or looking stressed makes me happy."

Tavish glides his hand through his soft hair. "It's all thanks to you, Bean…if you didn't motivate me to speak to her…well…I don't know where we'd be."

"No problem, bro," She slapped his shoulder playfully. "Let me know if you need me to throw you anywhere! You're super light!"

"We can go about doing things without you tossing me around like a ragdoll sister,"

"Why not? It's fun!" Bean replied while letting out a small laugh. Her smile faded as they got closer to the castle gates. "Sooo…how did Annabel take the news?"

"Huh?" Tavish looked at Bean

"Annabel. How did she take the news about the wedding getting canceled?"

"Uhh…" A worried look dawns on the prince's face.

Bean stops walking. "Wait…you did call off the wedding, didn't you?"

"I'm working on it…"

"Working on it?!" Bean shouts. "You mean to tell me you're dating Hilda and haven't called off the wedding?!"

"It's not that simple, Bean!" Tavish shouted back.

"What do you mean it's not that simple? You have more power over what you can do than what I can do!"

"You know I can't just call off a wedding with the princess of the Skyland Kingdom!"

"Then you should've got me to do it! I'll tell her to her pretty, stupid blond face that the wedding is off!" Bean spat.

"No! No, you will not do that!" Tavish grasped his hands around Bean's shoulders. "You know she'll rage war on dreamland if this wedding is off!"

"That won't be the worst of it! How do you think Hilda will feel—" She paused. "Does Hilda know you didn't call off the wedding?"

"Umm…" Tavish's face twisted. "I-I…"

"You gotta be kidding me, Tavish!" Bean yelled, shoving Tavish away from her.

"I couldn't tell her! I mean, how could I?! We just started dating!"

"How can you be this stupid?! Like, this is something I would get myself wrapped up in! You're supposed to be the responsible one!" Bean had her hands on her head in disbelief.

"I was never the responsible one! Do you not remember what we did as kids?!"

"You have to tell her the truth," Bean crossed her arms and frowned at Tavish.

"I will tell her the truth! All I need is time to get this all sorted out!"

"This isn't right, Tavish. Hilda is my best friend. How am I supposed to talk to her knowing you're going behind her back!"

"What do you mean I'm going behind her back? I don't love Annabel! I love Hilda!" Tavish retorts.

"If you loved Hilda, you'd tell her the truth!" Bean snapped.

Tavish rubs his head in frustration. "Do you think any of this is easy to do?!"

Bean turned away from Tavish. "I seriously can't believe you right now…"

"Bean…I swear I will do right by this before the wedding is here. Just don't Hilda! Please!"

Bean sighed. "Fine…" She turned around to face Tavish. "Come on, let's get this stupid dinner over with so I can turn my hair back to normal. I'm tired of having it look like a roll of cotton candy."

"Thank you, sister," Tavish smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever,"

The dinner party went as Bean expected. The Duke of Twinkle Town arrives with his son Bertram and his wife Beatrice. Beatrice was a tall woman with black hair, brown skin, and a vibrant purple dress. Derek, Tavish, Oona, and Zog sat at the table and began talking about nothing. Tavish made a few jokes and laughed while Bean suffered through all of the agonizing laughter. That's when Bertram gasped and placed his eyes on Tavish.

"Oh, Tavish, my good friend," Bertram's hazel eyes gleamed. "I heard that you and Princess Annabel are getting married!"

Tavish nearly choked on his wine and coughed. "O-Oh uh..yes! The wedding is next month!" His eyes went wide. "Oh goodness…the wedding is next month…"

"Congratulations!" Bertram squealed.

"Congratulations indeed!" said The Duke of Twinkle Town. "Marrying one of the fate sisters is not an easy feat. Most men who have tried proposing to one of the sisters of fate usually end up beheaded or buried in salt!"

"They bury people in salt over there?!" Derek gulpd.

"I have heard that the Fate Sisters have very unique ways of torture and murder," said Beatrice, taking a sip of her wine.

"I heard of that peeling nail torture method. That's one of Annabel's favorites," said Bertram.

Tavish just sat there transfixed. "Oh really?" His voice cracked.

Zog laughed. "Seems like the perfect girl for ya, huh, son?"

"Yeah…" Tavish's voice cracked again.

Bean smugly grinned at Tavish. "Yeah, big bro, you won't be wearing the pants in that relationship!" Tavish side-eyed his sister and kicked her leg under the table. Bean winces in pain, glares at her brother and kicks his leg.

Tavish lets out a yelp. "Why are you wearing your boots?!"

"Because I won't dare put heels around my feet. Are you kidding me?"

"Bean! Tavish! Stop playing footies under the table!" Oona snapped.

Derek shakes his head and turns to his stuffed bear. "And they say I'm the childish one,"

Once the dinner party was over, Bean went straight to her room to strip off the dress and undo her hair. She placed her usual fashion style consisting of a blue shirt, black belt buckle, and beige pants. Bean exits her room, stretches, and walks down the hall. The princess placed her eyes on her brother Tavish, who was still dressed in his formal attire, pacing around in a circle, looking anxious.

"Umm…Tav, why are you walking around in circles?"

"What?" Tavish looked over at Bean. "Oh, um…I'm just…getting some exercise. I heard walking in circles is good for burning off calories!"

Bean raised a brow in doubt. "Umm…you need to burn off calories? Tav…you're literally a twig…"

Tavish ruffles his hair. "Enough talk, sister…I'm trying to think!"

"It looks like it hurts. It's no wonder I don't think a lot,"

"The wedding is next month…I haven't found a way out of this yet!" Tavish said, terrified.

"Yeaaah…It's like you should've broken off the wedding before getting with Hilda," said Bean with a condescending tone.

"I know, Bean. You don't have to keep reminding me!" Tavish snapped.

"Well, I will. Look, I got an idea. Why don't you come with me and hang out with my friends? I'm sure other opinions will give you ideas." Bean said.

"Sister. I highly doubt that I would fit in with your crowd. We don't have much in common…" said Tavish, exhaling from his nose and slumping a bit.

"Tavish, you're just as crazy as we are. You're practically a part of the friend group without participating in our activities. Now, get out of those clothes and come on," Bean gently shoves her brother's shoulder and walks past him.

"Fine…maybe some fresh air would do me some good…"

"Kill Annabel?!" Tavish gasped.

"Yup, assassination," said Luci nonchalantly. "It's the only way."

Bean, Elfo, Luci, Miri, Tavish, Koga, Pendergast, Turbish, Mertz, and a few other fellow knights were hanging on the Cliffside by the castle. Bean was watching Koga tie some rope around the waist of the castle Jester. He was a short man wearing a purple hat and yellow garments.

"Uhh…are you sure this is safe, Captain Koga?" The Jester asked fearfully.

"Yeah, yeah, it's ok. You'll spring right back up!" said Koga confidently.

Pendergast rubs his chin curiously. "Soo…what do you call this activity again, Koga?"

"Spring rope!" said Koga, excitedly. "You tie a rope around the person, push em off, and they'll spring back up!"

"Interesting!" said Pendergast in awe. "But…what is the point of this?"

"For fun, of course," Koga replied, shocked that Pendergast would even question it. "It's better than slapping each other in the ass with wet towels."

"That's a fun activity!"

"Not for my ass Pendergast,"

Back with the others, Tavish debates Luci on assassinating Annabel.

"If you wanna secure you're live with the potato girl, assassination is your only option," said Luci.

"Why is that the only option you have?!" Tavish shouts.

"You should talk to other demons more,"

Elfo chimes in. "Why not just break up with her, Tavish? Like… she peels people's nails off. Don't marry her!"

"I will agree that It is an unorthodox form of torture. But we're not different. Have our dad joke books? It's one of our torture devices," Tavish stated.

Bean shivers. "Ugh, it's worse when he repeats those jokes now and then. It's literally child abuse."

"You don't know much about the Skyland Kingdom, do you?" said Miri. She watched as Koga shoved the Jester off the cliff with the rope tied around his waist.

"Well…they all wear white robes that show a lot of skin. The guys cuddle a lot…and there's A LOT of pillars," said Bean. She heard the sound of the rope snapping and the Jester screaming. "OH NO!" before he hits the ocean below.

"Huh…" Koga looks at the rope. "He was supposed to spring back up.

"Maybe the rope is defective?" Pendergast suggested.

"That's probably it," Koga turns to Mertz. "Pass me the other pair of rope!"

Anyways, Tavish follows up on Miri's statement. "The Skyland Kingdom has the strongest military force in the lands. They're a balance of wealth and power. If I break up with Annabel, the Skylands would destroy Dreamland,"

Bean scoffs. "Yeah, like that, Timothy Knight is so strong. Koga mopped the floor with him in the knight's festival. They can't be that strong."

"He was a part of another branch of warriors," said Tavish.

"Wait, what?" Elfo looked over at Tavish, confused. "They have two sets of knights?"

"Yes. The other ones are bloodthirsty men who go through grueling training regimens that would kill any average person. That is the army they would send after us," The prince explained.

Elfo gulps. "I-I-Oh, well, I got nothing,"

"Me either," said Miri.

"Just kill her!" said Luci. "I mean, you plotted a whole murder against Merkimer. You went out of your way to hire people to do it! So what's stopping you from doing this?"

"He has a point, Tav," said Bean, facing her brother. "If I were in your shoes, I'd probably come up with another murder plot."

Tavish rubs his face. "I don't want to do that again…"

"Well…you want to be with Hilda, don't you?" Bean asked. "And you don't want to be with Annabel, right?"

Tavish crosses his arms reluctantly. "Of course I do…"

"Then do it! Do it, do it, do it!" Luci hopped on his shoulders with an evil grin. "While you're at it, why don't you kill the other two?"

"NO!" Tavish glared at Luci.

"I mean, it makes sense," Bean shrugged.

"Does listening to this make me an accomplice?" Miri asked, looking at Elfo.

"Just act like you didn't hear anything. It's what I do," Elfo replied.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SNAP

They turned around to see that the other rope had snapped. Koga scratches his head, confused. "What the hell? Why isn't this working?"

"What in the hell is going on over there?" Tavish asked, annoyed.

"The rope won't stop breaking or something," said Bean. "What did you call it again, Koga?"

"Spring rope!" said Koga. "You're supposed to spring right back up, but for some reason, everyone is just falling into the ocean or getting their ribs broken."

Tavish rubs between his eyes. "Wait…you want them to spring back up?"

"Yeah?" Koga looks over at Tavish.

"Then you need something elastic; Rope is from hemp, linen, straw, and cotton. For them to spring back up, you'll need a rubber base material like latex," Tavish explained.

"Ooooooh…" Koga looks down. "Huh…ok then. Mertz, go get something rubbery!"

"Why is it always me that has to get everything?!" Mertz frowned.

"Wait a second," Elfo came to a realization. "Since you need something rubbery…wouldn't it make sense to call it bungee jumping instead of spring rope?"

Koga stared at Elfo. "Bunge jumping? That's a stupid name…pff…bungee jumping…"