" Grey ? "

" Grey-sama, you don't listen to Juvia "

He snapped out. He had a terrible hangover. How Cana could manage to drink so much without been a little affected by it ? He had only stayed with her in this sordid bar during one hour. Bacchus arrival had been a bless.

" Sorry Juvia what were you saying ? "

" you sure you're fine ?"

Absolutely not. His head was aching and he thought of her : her lips, her eyes, these tears that he hadn't seen for years. Kissing her. Fight her. Lost her. He was sorry for Juvia she deserved much better.

He hated himself for being so rude with her whereas she just wanted be here for him. She loved him and he barely considered her feelings he was hypocritical. He reproached at Erza her behaviour and his was worse.

" I am. "

He tried to soften his eyes he couldn't smile but he didn't smile a lot anyway. She was an exception for the rest of the world his smile consisted of a smirk. Always smug, confident but never truly sincere : he was phlegmatic and enigmatic on his feelings.

Jubia knew it she had been confronted at a wall for months. She had lived with him and had never felt so far away from him. He had seen the worst and she could do nothing but watch him. Every day his eyes had lost a little more of their sparkle and yet he had continued to tell her he was fine.

He never let her get close, and when he let his guard down, letting her see beyond the mask, the backlash was always harsh. In general, he buried his doubts even deeper and made sure to raise walls and barriers again. He became completely impassive and only gave off a false sense of tranquility. Just like now ; but usually she was complacent enough to pretend not to see it.

" You know you can talk to me, right ? "

" I'm fine Juvia. So what did you want to say to me ?"

" Nevermind, you're not in the mood. "

There was no reproach in her voice only frustration. He was relieved whsn she left but sighed ; everything was running out control lately.

" Two hearts in a week ? You are such a ladies's man"

" It seems I still have progress to make since you had preferred Bacchus company to mine last night "

She smiled absurdly. He was a women pleaser Oh Grey, he always made her laugh with his dallied retorts. He was a women pleaser against his own will. She found it funny and made fun of him for it. But he loved him he was a little brother to her.

" Don't be jealous "

He smirked.

" No risk. He suits your complexion better "

" Is there any double entendre ? "

" You're the only to know "

They laughed but a spark of worry passed in her eyes. She saw his uneasiness the one he kept hide to the world making it out of reach. She wished she knew how help him.

" Don't look at me with such pity, I'm fine Cana "

" I know but sometimes you worry me. "

" Did you see Natsu ? "

" Yes this morning he came with Erza. "

" He was with Erza ? "

Mirajane hesitated. She thought they had spent the night together since he had walked her home in last. But obviously they hadn't and she didn't know where he had been and she didn't insist.

" Yes. They arrived soon this morning "

" And do you know where he is now ? "

" Maybe in front of the request board "

" Looked at this Titania in deep reflection "

" When are you came back ? "

" Oh you know, home sweet home "

" So you missed us ? "

She ask deeply doubtful and he grinned.

" Ever and Freed, mostly. You know since she is with this brute we have to return more often "

" Keep calm he could be your brother in law "

" Be careful that's a sensitive topic "

" It was only a joke Luxus I never steak my oar into your business. Even if it implies one of my best friend. "

" Since when do you make jokes ? "

Since she had stopped to do with Grey. She only shrugged and glare at the horizon again.

" What did you want to ask me ? "

" Am I so predictable ? "

" I could say no but yes you are. At least right now. You rarely came to talk to me. So for you to come to me as soon as you get home, it's because you must have something to ask me. "

" She is smart. Master asked me to ask you something. He needs someone to represent the guild at a Council's reunion. "

" So you said no and proposed my name ? "

" Oh stop to talk as if I was so predictable. He asked for you, not for me, you have been master and he couldn't asked this old Macao for… obvious reasons."

His tone seeped of sarcasm.

" I see. When it is ? "

" Wednesday but you should leave tomorrow. You can bring someone if you want. Maybe the Ice mage"

" Grey ? Why ? "

" First because it seems that the two of you are in cold and second because he is one of the shrewdest members in this nuthouse. "

" You are unfair. Some of them are really reliable "

" Yes but he is one of the more personable "

" Didn't know it was your type "

" Really funny Scarlet. "

" Ask him if you want but I won't "

She was sat on the floor, in front of the couch, her head resting on the large seat cushion. She had moved the coffee table on a side to spread her legs on the floor. Eyes closed a sun ray was caressing her face. She smiled it was enjoyable. She then plunged again into her gloomy thoughts. Her sadness was deep, so deeply rooted into her nerves, it weighed her down.

No matter what she could do, he always swim back up the flow of her thoughts. His name suddenly surged and she was oppressed by a wave of regrets. Why was it so painful. She was sure she had made the good choice, the merciful one. So why was she suffering so much ?

She learned to cry in private, to ignore her fear and worries to enforce this armour and become Titania. A leader, a mentor who never failed. She was strong not for her but for all people who needed her to be that's the reason why she couldn't bear the single tears which rolled on her cheeks from time to time.

She was so overwhelmed. Why her thoughts always came back to him ? It was so exhausting. She played their last conversation over and over in her head. She sighed trying to go back at the reality and slipped out of her mind before she crossed the road towards madness.

She opened her eyes, maybe she was definitely crazy. For someone who said to not love him she was deeply affected by her own decision. But she was convinced to not love him. Sure, she appreciated him, she loved how comfortable she was in his presence and of course she feel light and delighted with him but it didn't mean she loved him, right ?

She couldn't imagine kiss him in front of their friends or hold his hand. Everything felt strange with these pictures and paradoxically she loved the idea of him in her kitchen or falling asleep in his arms. She loved the idea of them as friends : deeply connected and caring with each other maybe sometimes even closer. But not lovers.

They were friends for almost a decade. Being in love with him sounded so strange. Of course some people, a lot, become lovers after years of friendship but not them.

If it was love she would have recognised it. She had immediately knew she loved Jellal. She wanted him to love her back. But Grey already loved her so she never felt this need to be loved by him.

Besides their relationship was purely platonic. Then she remembered the tension between them when they looked at each other for too long. Well maybe not so platonic. Then she remembered kissing him. Okay definitely not.

She rolled her eyes. All of this was too complicated.

" Hey you saw Erz' ? "

" Why ? "

Natsu asked with more harshness than Grey had expected. He frowned but deigned answer with an equal coldness.

" Because I ask you "

" So no. I don't know where she is. Maybe you shouldn't have left her yesterday. "

" Okay Natsu, what is your fucking problem ? "

The two of them gestured with defiance until now none of them had shout or hit the other that was even the contrary. And that was the reason why Happy seemed worry. They were calm.

" Absolutely none "

Too calm. Waiting for the first move of the other. Natsu was clearly observing Grey waiting for an opening if he dare strike him. Grey was less readable but no doubt he had already think to a way to block him.

That's this moment Lucy chosed to interrupt them.

" What is the problem with both of you ? Erza is absent a couple of hours and you already find the way to fight each other, serioulsy. Furthermore everyone look at you "

Grey look at her briefly and go back to Natsu who still stared at him.

" We had finished, right ? "

Natsu glared him some more seconds before finally answer.

" Yeah we did "

Then Grey looked at Lucy before turning heels towards the exit. Luxus had interrupted him and was talking to him in a corner.

" What was that ? "

" A protective brother and his best friend conversation about his sister "

She was bewildered by the analogy.

" So you are the protective brother or the best friend and who is the sister ? "

" Just drop it "

Okay. She assumed he was the brother, Grey the best friend, what was really unexpected and logically the sister should be Juvia, Mirajane, Cana or Lissana. But Grey was closer to Jubia.

" So what did you want to say to me Lucy ? "

" Hum sorry I was in my thoughts... I saw a mission on the request board and I was thinking we could maybe going together "

" Why not all the team ? "

" I was talking with Mirajane this morning and she said me that Erza had to go on the capital. Grey could accompany her if he wants but Juvia wanted to go on mission with him anyway. Wendy has found a job with Romeo and Carla. "

" So it will be just the three of us "

" So you are on ? "

" Okay I'll tell it to Happy and we could be gone in the afternoon "

" I thought you would have gone on mission with Jubia "

She didn't look at him, her eyes anchored to the window as the landscape go by swiftly according to the speed of the train.

" Laxus asked me to come with you "

" And so, you forget how to say no ? "

" Everyone is not used to being as indelicate as you."

"You're generally ruder than I am."

He snorted. It was true, she had always had a better knack for masking her contempt with emphuism, she was more polite and more respectful than him.

"I admit that humbly, except when your feelings are at stake. We're paradoxical on that point. Personally, I'm softening, you're stubbornly suspicious. You reject those who get too close, rudely."

" You rarely soften with anyone, you're cold, guileful amd calculating. You had absolutely no problem to say no "

" Such a devious description "

" Not really you have qualities to balance the picture"

" Like ? "

Shd raised her eyebrows, skeptical.

" You really want me to describe your qualities ? Suddenly feeling a lack of recognition ? "

" See ? You are avoidant again. You push me away"

" Like if you let anyone get close of you "

" I did "

She looked at him. He was right he did for her.

" I do "

She looked at him unsure. Was she the one he still let come closer or was it a more general remark ? She didn't know however she tried to hide her confusion. She needed to take the lead of the conversation again.

" Your moral values. "

He frowned.

" If I had to describe you I would start with that. Your fairness, benignity and nobility. You're surely the most loyal and determined person I know. And for more personal introspection I would admit admiring your leniency and carefulness. "

He half smiled. She was so baffling. She could be so sincere and then so distant. She accepted him but rejected him in the same time. Friendship was okay but love not.

" You are so complicated "

" I have warned you "

" I didn't say I gave up "

He said it playfully and she decided to only heard it as an absurd response, rolling her eyes with exaggeration while he smirked.

The interruption came twenty minutes later. They were talking when the driver announced the first connection.

" I'll let you. "

So soon ? She smiled. He waited for her. But this her was not her for the first time she was not the girl in his mind.

" She could sit with us "

He was not surprised, she was smart of course she would guess even if he had purposely said nothing about Juvia.

" You hate people chatting near to you when you work. "

So they talked to each other. Her forbearance faded but she prevented it to completely slip away showing the disgust that it hide. She had know him less affable to not say unpleasant. He liked silence usually but obviously she was not the only to make exception anymore. She tried to ignore the pang in her chest. She was the one who asked him to move on.

" I guess you're right we see in three days "

" See you at the guild "

He left and she immediately turn her head at the opposite side glaring at the window. She swallowed and sighted briefly, lightly. No sweetheart either Erz'. Nothing.

She let her fall down, her elbow on her sighs and her head between her hands. She took a deep breathe and closed her eyes sighing for a moment before she raised her head up and finally reclined on her seat.