Lucy appears in the void with a megaphone, "City's breaking down on a camel's back-"
Luna then pops out in front of her, "They just have to go, 'cause they don't know wack!"
Demon's Day
The Junior Morticians Club gathered around in a dark dreary basement as the sun started to set. Lucy had brought along Grim as her plus one.
"It's been a while, Mr. Reaper." greeted Morpheus.
Grim nodded, "I know, I haven't seen most of you since the gazpacho incident."
Haiku clasped her hands together, "Good evening, my fellow Junior Morticians and Death itself. We are gathered here this terrible twilight to summon one of the many horrors of He-"
Suddenly, the door to the basement opened, "Hello Robert! I brought you and your friends snacks!" greeted a very chipper woman in a sing-song tone as she came down.
"Uh, thank you mother." Said Boris.
Boris' mother set the snacks down on a table, and then noticed Grim standing there, menacingly, and smiled brightly, "Ooh, the Grim Reaper! Hello there, I'm Robert's mother!"
Grim was caught a bit off guard, "Uh…I figured. I'm surprised you're not scared."
Boris's mother clasped her hands and giggled, "Why would I be? Death is a perfectly natural thing in the world! I'm so happy my son and his friends get to spend time with you! Well, have fun and let me know if you all need anything else!" with that, she left with a skip in her step, shutting the door behind her.
"...did anyone else feel scared of that lady?" Grim asked.
The rest of the Junior Mortician's Club nodded.
Grim looked over at Boris, "What does your mother do?"
"Interior Decorating." Boris answered.
"Oh...she's a psychopath. That checks out."
"Moving on from that, we gather today to summon a demon in Boris's basement. Mainly because it was the only one available." Lucy announced.
Persephone raised her hand, "Hey uh, I don't want to be that girl, but isn't summoning a demon the first step for the world to be in danger?"
Grim shook his skull, "Actually it's step number five, but don't worry, steps one through four haven't been done in order as far as I know."
Persephone let out a sigh of relief, "Oh, good. Is there anything else we should know?"
"Just be careful not to summon any imps. I hate imps!" Grim shook as he said that.
"Why is that?" asked Morpheus.
Grim folded his arms, "They're a bunch of jerks that try to mess with the natural balance of life and death by going to Earth acting like mercenaries on revenge missions from those who ended in the Bad Place. One of them even sounds like you."
"I see…" Morpheus
"First, a knockoff Ouija board." Haiku stated as she threw a piece of cardboard with the words "Spirit Board" on it.
"Second, an artifact of ancient evil, Disney's The Lion King 1 1/2 on VHS." Lucy set the terribly cursed object down onto the middle of the Spirit Board.
"What's a VHS?" asked Dante.
"A dead media platform." Grim answered.
"Third, we light the Spirit Candles." Haiku announced.
Persephone set down four candles on every corner of the Spirit Board and in the center, "I got these eucalyptus scented ones."
"Fourth, live playing of Toccata and Fugue in D minor." Lucy announced.
"Boris has this one." Boris sat down at a pipe organ which apparently was here the whole time. He started playing Take Me Out to the Ball Game then stopped after the seventh note, "Boris is sorry, muscle memory." He began to play Toccata and Fugue in D minor instead.
"Wow, that's very good!" Persephone praised.
"Boris practices."
Haiku stepped up to the Spirit Board and stretched her arms out with her hands open, "And now, the fifth and final step: the rest of us hold hands and chant the phrase: Etag eht nepo."
Lucy took hold of one of Haiku's hands, and held Grim's in the other. The Junior Mortician's Club aside from Boris held hands around the Spirit Board.
"Etag eth nepo!"
Nothing happened.
"Etag eth nepo!!"
The candles flickered a bit.
"Etag eth nepo!!!"
The VHS tape moved a bit.
"Etag eth Nepo!!!!"
The VHS started to rise into the air.
"ETAG ETH NEPO!!!!!"
OPEN THE GATE!!!!!
The accursed object exploded sending polyester plastic all around the room and the magnetic tape formed a looping oval and combusted in an unholy flame. This oval became a reddish puddle-like object that hovered in mid-air.
"WAIT, THAT WORKED?" Dante cried out.
"Of course it did! What, you thought this is just some parlor trick?" Grim asked.
"Whatever you do, don't let go!" Haiku called out, "Letting go of our hands will make whatever we summon free to possess any of us!"
"You're telling us this NOW?" Morpheus asked.
"And Boris, don't stop playing. We need the music to tame the demons." Lucy added.
"Boris will try!"
The red puddle-like gate started to ripple, and a pair of horns emerged from it.
"Woah!" Persephone squeaked.
The whole basement started to shake as a roaring noise came from the gate.
"Hold on tight! Don't look away from it!" Haiku called out.
The redness changed color as it became more a green hue.
"Is it supposed to do that?" Morpheus asked.
"Quiet!" Lucy scolded.
Boris played a bit faster.
And then, the demon came through the gate.
"Yes? Oh, hey Lucy!" Fred Fredburger greeted her with a wave.
"Fred? What are you doing here?" Grim asked.
Fred shrugged, "I was summoned here, yes! How did you guys know it was my birthday?" he asked.
"Uh…your birthday?" Lucy asked.
"Lucy, do you know this demon?" Haiku asked.
Lucy shrugged, "Um…a little? He's more someone Lincoln and Grim knows, his name is-"
Fred interrupted her, "I got this! My name is F-R-E-D-F-"
Dante let go of Morpheus and Persephone's hands and let out a sigh of relief, "Guess we got lucky with-"
"DANTE, YOU LET GO!" Haiku cried out.
Suddenly, Fred Fredburger's body was flung at Dante by some demonic force. Dante screamed and Fred ended up going inside the boy's mouth. Dante's body started twisting and turning and folding into himself. Bones and muscles cracked loudly as the rest of the Junior Mortician's Club averted their eyes in horror. Boris had even stopped playing the pipe organ to cover his eyes.
This was too much even for them.
When the sickening crunching noises finally stopped, they heard something…odd.
"R-E-D-B-U-R-G-E-R! Fred Fredburger! Yes!" Cheered Dan- Fre- uh… Frente? Let's go with Frente.
I don't know how to explain this without getting too graphic, but it seems that poor Dante's body had been changed for the worse. He now had a pair of horns growing from both sides of the crown of his head, his nose had grown much larger and longer, and his feet had become more hooved. His hair was also much longer and shaggier.
And he spoke with an odd voice that was as if Dante and Fred were speaking in unison.
The gate closed in on itself, and the candles went out.
"...okay, well, it looks like Dante has been possessed." Haiku surmised.
"What an idiot, doesn't he know about proper demon summoning safety?" Grim asked.
"Don't be mean, he made a little mistake!" Persephone told him.
Morpheus sighed, "He was mostly in it for the fashion...but he doesn't deserve demon possession."
The possessed Dante - that I dub Frente - looked down at himself, then at his hands, "Wow! I've become a real boy! And at age six-hundred!"
"You're six-hundred years old?" Lucy asked.
Frente nodded a few times, "Yes! Yes! I turned six-hundred today! Jeff and I were gonna have a big party with my mommy and daddy, but then you guys called and I had to answer!"
…
Meanwhile, Jeff was running on all six legs around the abandoned school he and Fred lived in, "Fred! Where did you go? Did you not like the hors d'oeuvres I made for your birthday dinner? I could make something else! Heck, I can even order takeout! Come on, your parents will show up soon!"
…
Frente was currently sitting next to Boris at the pipe organ, "Hey, you play really good! Can you play the Nacho Song?" He asked.
"Nacho…song?" Boris asked.
"Yes! They play it at the place that sells nachos!"
"Uh… Boris is not familiar…"
The rest of the Junior Mortician's Club and Grim gathered a bit away from those two.
"So, how do we free Dante from the possession?" Morpheus asked.
Haiku flipped through an old book with an odd leathery binding and a creepy cover design of a screaming face, "Well, we will need a priest…but I don't think we can find one available at this hour."
"Plus, I doubt they'll believe us." Lucy remarked.
Grim summoned his scythe, "Guess it's up to me to fix your blunders again." He approached Frente and raised the scythe to strike.
Frente quickly jumped away as Grim swung the scythe down, cutting the seat in two. "Woah! Be careful with that!" Frente cried out.
Boris's half of the seat slowly fell onto the basement floor. He looked alarmed, "Mother will be very upset with this."
Grim turned his attention to Frente, "Hold still, Fredburger! That body does not belong to you!"
Frente frowned, "Hey, it's my body, my choice, yes! You can't tell me what to do with it!"
"No, I guess not. That's why I'm cutting you out of it!" Grim swung his scythe again, but Frente was surprisingly agile despite his large size. He had leapt onto the pipe organ, then jumped over Grim and rushed for the basement door, breaking it open on contact and running up the stairs.
Boris got up from the floor and he started to sweat, "Oh no, mother will REALLY be upset with Boris now!"
The rest of the Junior Mortician's Club were amazed by the feat, "I… I had no idea Dante could destroy a door like that." Morpheus remarked.
Lucy rubbed her chin, "That was probably due to the demon possessing him. Fredburger might be a goofball but he's still a demon."
Haiku shut the book, "We need to go after him. Who knows what that demon will do with Dante's body."
The Junior Mortician's Club ran upstairs to find the kitchen trashed and one of the windows broken. Boris's mother sweeping up the glass with her unsettling smile, "Oh, be careful now! Your friend just caused a scene, is everything alright?" She asked.
Boris stepped up, "Sorry Mother, but one of Boris's friends got possessed by a demon and may now be running amuck."
Boris's mother kept smiling, "Oh, is that all? Should I phone his parents and tell him he is no longer with us?"
Boris shook his head, "No mother, we will find him."
Boris's mother nodded, "Okay sweetie! Just don't be out too late!"
Grim and the Goths quickly left the house. Grim looked over his shoulder to see Boris's mother still smiling at him through the broken window, "...yeah, definitely a psychopath."
…
Jeff had searched the abandoned school all over but couldn't find hide nor hair of Fred Fredburger. Mainly because Jeff routinely cleaned up all the fur Fred sheds and turned them into sweaters. He decided to take a break in the school's cafeteria.
Suddenly, a green portal opened up nearby, and Jeff shrieked in terror, "Oh no! Not now!'
From the portal came a tall and thin minty green demon with large pointy ears, a long, curved nose, and sharp teeth. He stepped into the cafeteria with bare feet, and wore nothing but a long blue nightshirt and a fez.
"Happy Bir- er, giant spider?" this demon asked.
Jeff sweat as he waved, "Oh! H-hello there! You must be Fred's father?"
The demon strutted over, "Maybe, who are you? Where's that foolish boy?"
Jeff tried to keep his composure, for whatever reason this demon was making him feel uncomfortable just by being in the same room as him, "My name is Jeff. Jeffrey Loud, sir, I'm his roommate. Fred is…uh…he suddenly vanished? He was here one second and gone the next!"
The demon smirked, "Ah, yeah, Fred said something about living with a spider, I didn't think you'd be so huge! Him just vanishing sounds likely, Fred tends to do whatever he wants. He gets that from me, you know. Well, we can't have him gone forever, his mother is coming and will be very upset if she doesn't see her little boy on his special day!"
Jeff held up his phone, and then another phone, "Well, I did try to text him, but he seems to have left his phone here too."
The demon slapped the phones out of Jeff's hands, "Bah, kids these days and their overreliance on technology…I know a better way to find him!" In a few moments, the demon transformed himself into a more werewolf-like form and started sniffing the air, "Yes, yeah, yep, this place reeks of that smelly boy and his diet of nachos, frozen yogurt, and nightmares. Come along, I got his scent." The demon started to leave the cafeteria.
"Oh, okay, right behind you, sir." Jeff started to follow.
The demon smirked at him, "Enough with the 'sir' bit, I have many names. Some call me El Coco, some the Baba Yaga, but you can call me…the Boogeyman!"
…
Grim shuddered as he and the Goths followed Frente's path of destruction.
"Are you cold, Mr. Reaper?" Persephone asked.
"I feel a disturbance in the Force." Grim replied.
"Uh, what is that?" Morpheus asked.
"Oh wait, that series is dead and Disney killed it. I just have a really bad feeling, like an ancient evil awakening."
"That sounds a bit overdramatIc." Lucy chided.
Grim gave her a glare, "I'm serious. Something wicked this way comes."
"Is it as bad as Nergal was?" Lucy asked.
"Who's Nergal?" Haiku asked.
"A creepy God of Death that lives at the center of The Earth. Long story."
Grim shook his head, "Worse. Nergal was so underground that I didn't know him. This one feels more familiar, and that's not a good thing."
"Hey, look!" Boris interrupted by pointing down the road. Frente was digging into a dumpster on the side of a building.
Grim and the Goths approached, "Stop right there, demon!"
Frente got out of the dumpster and waved, "Oh hey! It's you guys again!"
Lucy approached, "Mr. Fredburger, we don't want to hurt you. Just let the Grim Reaper cut you out of our friend's body."
Frente shook his head, "No way! It's my birthday! I always wanted to try out a human body! It feels so weird! So cool! Yes!"
Grim pulled Lucy back, "There's no sense in reasoning with demons while they're possessing a human, Lucy. They now experience what humans do, the chemicals in their brains, the blood pumping in their veins, and their limited senses give demons a rush so powerful that they'll be desperate to keep it."
"Wait, demons possess humans just to get high?" Morpheus asked.
"Well, what other reason would demons bother possessing an inferior human body?" Grim asked.
Morpheus didn't have a rebuttal.
Grim took out his scythe again and approached, "Stop making me chase you, Fredburger. It'll just make me more-"
Frente slapped Grim with his trunk and ran around the building. Grim fell back and broke into pieces on the ground, "Well, this is embarrassing. At least it can't get any-"
"Hey, Uncle Grim!"
Grim and the Goths looked over to see Jeff approaching with a minty green werewolf next to him.
Grim recognized the werewolf immediately, "...oh no."
The Boogeyman laughed, "Grim! Is that you, old sport?" He transformed back into his more gremlin-like shape and picked up Grim's skull, "It's been eons! How have you been? Still tripping over yourself?"
Lucy looked at this demon then back to Grim, "Grim, is this the thing worse than Nergal?" She asked.
Boogeyman dropped Grim's skull and got up close to Lucy with a dastardly smile, "Ooh-hoo-hoo! And what do we have here? Is this your child, Grim?"
"Oh, that's my Aunt Lucy, Boogeyman!" Jeff told him.
"Boogeyman?" The Goths asked.
Boogeyman gave a little bow, "The embodiment of Fear, at your service!"
"You don't look too scary." Lucy told him.
Boogeyman shrugged, "True, I'm too handsome, but here's an image of YOU in a PINK DRESS!" Boogeyman pulled out a photograph showing just that.
Lucy screamed and covered her eyes with her hands, "AAAH! IT BURNS!"
Haiku pulled Lucy away and Jeff went over to comfort her. Haiku approached Boogeyman, "What does the Boogeyman want with The Junior Mortician's Club?" She asked.
Boogeyman shrugged, "Oh, nothing really, I'm actually looking for my son right now."
"You have a kid?" Grim asked.
"Yes! He's such a silly boy, not too bright in the head. But he's a sweet boy, and his name is-"
"Fred?" Grim pulled himself together and glared at Boogeyman, "That demon is your child?"
Boogeyman grinned ear to ear, "Why, yes! Has he been giving you trouble? Haha! Good. But I need to bring him back home before his mother arrives."
"That might be hard, he possessed one of our members and he will not give up the body." Haiku told him.
Boogeyman's smile faded, "Possession? Have you called a priest?"
"We uh, don't know any." Persephone answered.
"I thought you kids were Goths. Aren't any of you dark priests? Or druids?" Boogeyman asked.
"Unfortunately, no." Boris answered.
"Plus, I think the book says we need a Catholic…wait." Haiku checked the book again, "...nope, it doesn't specify. Heck, there's a list of examples like a dark priest, or shadow priest, or…spider-priest?"
"Hold on, you kids need a spider-priest?" Jeff asked, "I happen to know one!"
"You do?" Lucy asked.
Jeff nodded, "Yeah, me! I just got ordained the other month into the Church of Arachne!'
"...this is the first I'm hearing of this, Jeff."
Jeff blushed a bit, "I'm sorry Aunt Lucy, I took it on a whim during my quarter-life crisis of three-quarters of a year old. I was too embarrassed to tell you all."
Lucy nodded, "I forgive you Jeff, think you can exorcize your friend Fred out of our friend Dante?"
"I haven't performed an exorcism before, but how hard could it be?"
"We would have to find the demon first." Said Boris.
"I saw him go into that restaurant across the street." Persephone pointed across the street.
Everyone else looked to see a restaurant with a giant cartoon purple bunny rabbit mascot and the name "Banny's Burritos"
The group walked across the street and went inside, it was a restaurant with a stage in the back with three animatronic performers singing and dancing to royalty-free music. There was Banny the Bunny front and center with Scott the Sheep on her left and Martin the Mole on her right. There were roughly fifteen people inside, most of them children who were running around not eating and not watching the show while the adults were all either talking, eating, or on their phones.
"Huh, I thought this kind of restaurant was a dying breed." Grim remarked.
"They've been rising back up from the brink of death." Haiku told him.
Boogey scoffed, "This one sucks. What kind of animatronic restaurant has less than four animatronics? You need at least four to be effective!"
"They used to have a red squirrel named Reginald, but apparently some weird kid with white hair broke it." Said Morpheus.
Everyone slowly turned towards Lucy.
"...I have no idea who could've done that." Lucy lied.
"Boris sees him!" Boris pointed at the Burrito Buffet area where Frente was face-first into the nacho cheese tub. Next to the scene was an red-haired female employee who seemed to figure dealing with the possessed kid was far above her pay grade.
"Okay Jeff, go exorcize him." Grim told the giant spider.
Jeff grimaced a bit, "Uh, about that Uncle Grim, I need to make my robes first."
Grim slapped his skull, "You have got to be kidding me."
Jeff quickly created spider silk and started knitting a robe, "I wish I were! But I can't perform any ceremony without it! Could you just make sure he doesn't leave the restaurant?"
"Fine, this should help." Grim turned around and raised a hand to the doors. Suddenly, ethereal planks appeared on the door.
"What are those?" Morpheus asked.
"I'm surprised you can see them. The short answer is that Death is considered a door, so I can seal any passageway or open them up."
"It could be because we're sensitive to this stuff." Said Haiku.
"The Nacho Demon is going crazy!" Boris stated.
Everyone looked to see Frente literally bouncing off the walls, and crashing into tables. The employee from before had vanished, apparently to go on break.
"We need to restrain him if we're going to perform an exorcism." Said Haiku.
"Yes, but how? He's strong enough to knock Grim down." Lucy asked.
Boogey snickered, "Heh, as if that's hard to do."
"Maybe you should do something useful then." Grim chided.
Boogey shrugged, "Fine, but I'm doing this only because I want to. I'm gonna use my powers to bring one of your fears to life!"
Lucy frowned, "You are NOT putting me in pink."
Boogey smiled, "Of course not, that would be completely useless here. Let's see what your friends are scared of…" he pointed at Boris, "Clowns? That's funny." he pointed at Morpheus, "Wow, you're scared of a lot of things! Clowns, germs, spiders, deep water and…demon clowns? That's just stupid."
"You're scared of spiders?" Jeff asked.
"More those tiny ones that look like small balls with legs. A lot crawled out of my sink once." Morpheus explained.
"But…but those are harmless!" Jeff protested.
"I'm sorry, they still creep me out!"
"Moving on!" Boogey pointed at Haiku, "...woah, that's just…I'm skipping you."
Haiku nodded, "Understandable."
Boogey pointed at Persephone and smiled, "Yes! Paydirt! You're scared of robots!"
"Wow. That's super convenient." Grim remarked.
Shut up, Grim.
"You're scared of robots?" Lucy asked.
Persephone looked embarrassed, "My dad has the vinyl of Queen's News of the World. The robot on the cover just freaks me out."
The Boogeyman smile got wider and more devious, "And we just so happen to have robots here!" He snapped his fingers.
The three animatronics on stage stopped singing and the lightbulbs in their eyes went from white to red for dramatic effect. Not that the customers noticed, not until the animatronics walked off the stage and started grabbing the kids. That's when the screaming started.
Most of the adults grabbed their kids and ran for the entrance while the ones on their phones just filmed their kids being picked up, shaken, and thrown by dangerous robots. I guess they figured this would get them fame online and maybe a child endangerment lawsuit.
The slightly better parents who headed for the entrance changed their minds when they saw a group of goths, a giant spider, the Boogeyman, and Death himself blocking it.
Boogey was laughing maniacally, "Pandemonium! Gotta love It!"
"You gotta stop this! Someone can get killed!" Persephone cried out.
Boogey waved her off, "Oh relax! Old Grim here wouldn't let anyone actually die, would you?"
Grim nodded, "At most they will just get cartoon injuries that will vanish as soon as they're out of frame. And lifelong mental trauma but hey, who doesn't have that these days?"
It was at this moment the red-haired female employee exited the break room and saw the madness. "Oh no, not again!" She yelled as she made a dash for the restaurant's fire exit and threw it open, turning the siren on. She ran out into the night and the rest of the customers followed after her.
"You missed a door, Grim." Lucy pointed out.
"So it may seem. Where's the demon?" Grim asked.
"He is on the stage!" Boris told him.
Frente was indeed on stage, he stretched out his arms and started screaming as if that counted as singing, "LA-LALALALALAAAA-"
He was promptly stopped by Banny tackling him, Martin dog piling on them, and Scott delivering an elbow drop on him.
Frente was pinned down and couldn't escape from the pile up of animatronics. The group approached the stage.
"Are you done with those robes, Jeff?" Lucy asked.
"Oh, I got them done a bit ago. Leave the rest to me!"Jeff walked up to Frente wearing bright green robes, and clasped his hands together. He cleared his throat before chanting.
"Spider-God, Spider-God, does whatever a Spider ought. Hello, your servant Jeffrey Loud is asking for your assistance..."
Jeff started speaking in a language Lucy couldn't understand, she turned to Grim, "What is he saying?"
"He is speaking to an Old God. Seems the Church of Arachne is a cult to it." Grim told her.
Lucy couldn't help but smile, "My nephew is a priest in a cult to an Old God. I am very proud."
In a few seconds, Frente's body started to glow and rose up into the air, sending the animatronics flying across the restaurant. His mouth opened wide, jaw unhinged, and started heaving. Soon enough, Fred Fredburger fell out of the body and Dante's body started to contort itself back to his normal form.
Boogeyman went up to Fred and pulled him up, "Hey kid, are you still conscious?"
Fred groaned, "Oh…is it still my birthday?"
"Sure, let's get you home." Boogeyman grinned at Grim, "See you soon, Grimmy."
The two slipped through a portal Boogey made.
Grim frowned, "Well, I guess that'll be another problem I'll need to deal with."
Dante got up himself, "Wha…what happened? My everything hurts."
Persephone and Morpheus helped him up, "You got possessed by a demon, and was saved by a giant spider." Morpheus told him.
Dante then noticed Jeff, "Oh. Thanks for saving me Mr. Spider!"
Jeff smiled sweetly, "No need to thank me, thank the Spider-God and our savior, Spider-Guy, you can learn about him here." Jeff pulled out a Spider-Guy comic book.
Dante looked at it a bit confused, "...that's a comic book."
Jeff's smile flipped and started screaming, "YOU QUESTION THE WORD OF THE MIGHTY PETEY?"
"What?"
Jeff pointed at the floor, "YOU BETTER GET ON YOUR THORAX, BEG FOR FORGIVENESS, AND GIVE ME FIFTEEN HAIL MARY JANES!"
Dante got on his thorax and started praying.
Haiku turned towards Grim, "Given the Spider-God saved him, does this mean we have to convert? I'm not up for organized religion."
Grim sighed, "Better not, growing a religion to an Old God is the first step to the world being in danger."
"Eh, what else is new?" Lucy asked.