***Chapter 49***

**Aria's POV**

-Spencer: We need to talk.-

I stared at the ominous message that was just sitting there waiting in our group chat, the five of us. It wasn't necessarily as bad as an A text, but my heart still dropped into my stomach as I stared at my phone.

-Hanna: Where and when?-

My day had been going so well, I had slept so deep and so hard the night before that for a few minutes I forgot about all the bumps and bruises, the lingering aches that had been plaguing me since I had been back. I hadn't even freaked out at being in bed with Jason, instead I felt completely relaxed in a way that made me realize just how incredibly tense I had been. Then Jason had brought me some coffee before giving me the heads up that Ali had returned the previous night, and with a bright blush at the realization that I didn't have any other clothes and would have to do the walk of shame in front of the police, not to mention anyone else who was awake, I had beat feet back home. Thankfully Ali had been in the shower when I slipped out of the house, and aside from some scrutiny from my neighbors across the street as I had climbed out of my car in fluffy pajamas and a leather jacket, I had made it back home mostly unscathed.

-Ali: We can do my place. My dad is still out of town. And Jason should probably share too.-

That made me feel a bit better at least. At least this wasn't necessarily an intervention for me, given that I had basically gone AWOL the previous day. As I'd headed for the shower once I got home, mindful of the gauze bandage covering my stitches where the chip had been removed I had regretted letting them take it out at the hospital. If I had been thinking as clearly last night as I was this morning, I would have just dealt with amateur surgery hour with the girls rather than intensify the scrutiny that the cops had me under. There was no doubt that Tanner would bring me back in for questioning, even if she was being careful enough not to call it an interrogation.

-Emily: I have therapy this morning, but will be free after noon.-

I eyed my stack of work to be done, wishing for a moment that it would give me some excuse to not meet up with the others today. Or that I had actually just permanently left my phone in do not disturb mode, as I had accidentally done for the rest of the day yesterday until I had checked for messages after getting home today. There had been more than a dozen attempts to reach me last night. Logically, I knew that the best move was to talk to the others. We needed to have a plan for how things were going to move forward, especially now that the cops were going to be even more up in our business than they had been before. We needed to put up a united front with what we could and couldn't say. I knew that. But at the same time, anytime I thought about telling the others what had happened in the dollhouse, my throat tightened like there was a knot forming that I could barely breathe around, talking was completely out of the question.

-Aria: I can do 2.-

I don't know why I pushed it so far back. It wasn't going to get better somehow by not having to deal with it until this afternoon. And the thought of it looming over me all day didn't help anything either. But I needed to get my head together before then.

-Spencer: 2pm at Ali's work for everyone?-

I put my phone down, listening to the quick chirps that the others had acknowledged the text and would be there. There were tears filling my eyes as I sunk down onto my bed. I buried my fingers in my hair pushing it back away from my face so I could stare blankly down at the ground while my vision blurred. There had to be something that I could do to make this easier. After a few moments, I lifted my head. I needed to be sure that I had everything in order that I had told Tanner the previous night, I wished that I had Spencer's ability to remember exactly what I had said. Or even Ali's ability to keep her jumble of lies straight.

Out of instinct, I reached for the little notebook that I kept on my nightstand. It had been sitting idly by, waiting to be used since I had come back home, despite the fact that I'd been avoiding it. I flipped it open to where the pen was, wedged part way into the notebook and saving my place. My eyes fell on the page, and I dropped it to the floor like it was burning my hands. I shot out of bed, looking desperately around my room in panic. The door was still open, leading out into the hall and I raced for it. I didn't stop until I hit the bottom of the stairs. My mom was sitting in the living room, startled at my sudden presence from the book she was reading. Her presence was enough to knock me back to the moment, she didn't usually hang around the house all day.

"Aria? Are you okay?" she asked, rising from her seat, book discarded on the sofa.

I dragged in a shaky breath as I nodded at her. I wasn't in the dollhouse. I was at home. "Yeah, just had a moment."

"Is there anything I can do?" she moved slowly over to me, careful in her movements.

"No, I'm okay." I reassured, shaking my head. I could handle this. I didn't need to be handled like I was made of glass. "I'm just gonna grab a drink and head back upstairs."

I justified like I hadn't come running down the stairs in sheer terror, it was an obvious lie but she accepted it for the excuse it was. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water before chugging the cold liquid down. It helped to shove the panic away, so I refilled the glass and brought it back upstairs with me. The notebook was still lying where I had thrown it on the ground. I took a deep breath and picked it back up, examining the page carefully.

The handwriting wasn't actually mine. It looked like it, but there were a couple quirks that made it stand out as wrong to me. That paired with the fact that though I had written everything on the page before, it wasn't in this notebook. It was a list of punishments and names. An identical copy of the one that I'd written down in the dollhouse, tracking all the pain I thought I had put my friends through. I knew that nothing I had done in that room had actually hurt the others, just like their decisions hadn't hurt me. But the reminder of the game room and the self-loathing that had filled me afterward was nauseating. I breathed through my nose, appreciating the new medication that Dr. Edmonds had set me up with the previous day. And happier still that I had taken it and my pain pills this morning when I'd gotten home.

He had been in my room. And recently. I felt the fear spike my heartrate. The cops were right outside, supposedly keeping me safe. And yet he had still managed to get inside. I ran my hand down my face, brushing away the tears that were sliding down. Anger was burning my chest, even as the fear closed my throat up tight. I wanted to release all the feelings that were surging within me. I wanted to scream, and cry, and hit something.

That thought struck me. I think I had some handwraps somewhere, from Jake showing me how to wrap my hands so I could practice punches with some padding. I dug through my closet, finding the gym bag that I had used when training with him. It still had the handwraps inside. There was a gym at Hollis, available to anyone with a student id. I checked the time. I had hours before I needed to go meet the girls and talk everything over. While I had felt good this morning, that had all dissipated and I needed to get my head back in order before we met up. I wasn't like Spencer or Emily who went running all the time, but I could head to the gym and use a punching bag to try and get back to centered. Door locked and window shut, I changed into my workout clothes, a light but breathable long sleeved shirt and yoga pants, before pulling Jason's jacket on over top.

"I'm heading to Hollis." I informed my mom, heading into the kitchen and grabbing one of Mike's spare water bottles and filling it up.

"Oh, do you have lab time scheduled?" she called from the couch,

"No, I was gonna head to the gym." I pulled my short hair back into two small ponytails, trying to get more of it up since one left an annoying spray of little hair that tickled the back of my neck. "I'll be back in an hour or so."

She stuttered out an okay, clearly surprised. But left it at that. I headed out to my car, throwing my gym bag in the backseat before turning to the squad car parked at the curb. Maybe it was irrational, but I couldn't help being pissed at them. They were making me check in and tracking all my movements, and still weren't able to keep Charles out of my bedroom. Admittedly my bedroom didn't face the street directly, but still. They were supposed to be out here for some reason. The officer got out of the car and walked towards me, while I tried to wipe the frown from my face. I told him I was heading to Hollis.

"We'll have squad cars in the vicinity." he assured, like that would do anything.

I forced a tight smile before getting in my car and driving away. I cranked up the volume on the radio, trying to drown out the anger that was swelling in my chest. The drive slipped away quickly, probably from a little speeding on my part. But I pulled into the Hollis parking lot and found a spot reasonably close to the fitness center.

It wasn't a large facility by any stretch of the imagination. Hollis was much more of a liberal arts college than it was known for it's athletics. But there was still a pool on campus, along with a room filled with machines. I had taken a couple yoga classes over here in the last few years, and many times had walked past a much smaller room that only contained a few hanging punching bags with all the walls and floor padded. With my bag stored in one of the lockers and a pair of wireless headphones in, I headed towards the padded room with my handwraps. The gym was mostly empty, there was one girl on an exercise bike as I walked past but other than the clerk at the entrance who was reading in her downtime the place was quiet.

I made sure the door opened easily, not wanting a repeat of the darkroom when I had gone in alone. It wedged open easily, there was a stack of weights against the wall that obviously others had used to keep the door open. Hands wrapped, I cranked the volume of my music up as I began stretching lightly. The muscles of my back were tense and sore, undoubtedly from where I had crashed into the floor yesterday, and my neck protested as I rolled my head from side to side. The stitches pulled slightly, but it didn't feel extreme enough for them to rip.

My stance was easy as I stood in front of the punching bag, I brought my right foot up and pushed it lightly against the bag, feeling the weight move back and forth gently with the pressure. It felt a little silly, standing alone with a punching bag. I missed having someone there to tell me to throw a punch, or how to improve my form. I didn't usually consider myself a particularly violent person. Still, I lightly tapped the bag with my left fist, testing the padding of the wraps. It felt thick enough, my fingers flexing open after the hit.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment. I hadn't come here to not hit things. I opened my eyes and started out with a few quick hits, appreciating the sensation of the impact traveling up my arms as I struck the bag. It was easy to fall into a light rhythm, a couple quick strikes with a few kicks thrown in. My muscles began to loosen as I warmed, breath coming out in light puffs as I punched. My head swayed a little with the pounding beat of my music. I focused on the feeling of releasing all the anger that was pushing me.

That I had to talk to the girls about things that I really wasn't ready to today. That I would undoubtedly have another long interview with Tanner about everything that happened and everything that we knew. That the cops would be continuing to follow my movements and wouldn't let me out of Rosewood alone any time soon. That I was trapped, not just in Rosewood by restrictions, but by the twisted game that Charles was playing, pushing me further than I could handle. The walls closing in around me as I continued striking the punching bag. My lungs were tight with fear and anger as I panted out each breath. I was still caught exactly how he wanted me to be. Trapped in a little space with everything tightening around me slowly, leaving me no room to think, or move, or breath. He had hurt Jason yesterday, his own brother that he had held so tightly to in his home movies. Had threatened us all, if we dared talk to the cops. Threatened to hurt my family if I didn't go where I was told. I brought one hand up to protect my face, as though defending against a punch before slamming my other hand heavily into the bag in front of me. He had broken into my room. Shoved my nightmare in my face. Like he hadn't done enough to me already. Like he hadn't beaten me repeatedly and made me terrified to sleep thinking that any moment my eyes were closed he could suddenly be there. The bag blurred in my vision. I was done with him hurting me. Done with him hurting everyone I cared about. Done with him controlling every aspect of my life. With a twist, I brought my right leg around in a roundhouse kick, letting my shin slam into the side of the bag like a club as I screamed at the bag.

I dropped to the floor, breath ragged in terrible pants as I stared up at the swinging bag. My arms and legs were splayed out like a starfish when I heard movement in the doorway, through the heavy beat of my music. The girl from the desk had gotten up and come to check on me, probably when I screamed. She was obviously hesitant, so I gave a thumbs up, with a quick nod she left. I turned my head away from the door back to watching the swaying of the punching bag.

I felt a bit better at least.

**End Chapter**

So a bit of filler this week, not exactly what I had intended when I sat down but it felt natural.

Also I'm gonna stick to a every other week schedule for the next little bit to help consistently get chapters out. Hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think.