Chapter 9

Vi grips the handrail, as her heart pounds in her chest. She wants to scream, to run away, to punch something. Her mind is flooded with several scenarios at once, all forming the same devastating outcome.

"When?" Vi finally says, as she looks out into the darkness.

"He gets out in August" the low gruff voice says.

"And you know for sure Tony is letting him come back to the farm?"

"Yes" Vander says as he hangs is head.

"How?" VI shouts. "How could he do this? How could he allow this after what happened? After what Brian tried do to Camille?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure kid. Something tells me Tony is in some kind of trouble with the Tallis's, probably being black mailed."

Vi finds herself gripping the handrail even tighter now. How could such a great day end like this? She tries to catch her breath as she thinks about what this will mean. Wondering why she just can't seem to catch a break. How could someone at the age of 20, experience so much undeserved pain. All she has ever wanted to do was take care of her family, while trying to find a glimmer of happiness for herself. But with every turn that glimmer seems to be getting further and further away. "Fuck".

"It's going to be okay."

"How can you say that? How can you just sit there and act like this is going to be fine?"

Vander slowly pulls himself up out of his chair, walking to stand next to her. "After I got hurt, I thought all was lost. I didn't think we were going to make it. My mind was filled with worse case scenarios. But then the bravest, most amazing and caring person I know stepped up." Vander says as he puts his hand on Vi's shoulder. "You have taken care of this family for the last four years. You have seen us through our worst. Don't give up now. Things always have a way of working out for the best."

Vander looks at Vi, who seems to be struggling with her demons and fears. He knows she is strong enough to get through this but watching her struggle when he can't immediately fix it, is sometimes too much. He slowly pulls away as he steps back inside their home, allowing Vi to be alone with her thoughts.

Vi had only been working at the dairy farm for a little over 6 months. She didn't hate the job, but most days were dirty and exhausting. Being new to the farm, meant her job was to wash out stalls, clean up the cow shit that lined the floors, constantly move hay bails around, and help usher the cows in and out of the barn to be milked. As time went on, she found herself being tasked with bigger responsibilities, such as helping to wipe down and sanitize the cow's udders and the milking machines. That is where she met Camille.

Camille was owner's niece. She was a tall, beautiful blonde, who enjoyed animals, and loved volunteering on the farm during her summer vacations away from college. She was studying agriculture, and loved coming home to help out.

Camille was a few years older than Vi, causing Vi to be intrigued by her stories and experiences outside of their small town. Camille would often talk about what life at college was like, from dorm parties, to all night study sessions. Vi hoped to one day experience a life outside of this small existence of hers. Somewhere she could finally try and find herself, but she knew they were only fantasies that she tried not to dwell on for to long.

One day when they were sweeping out a stall, Camille talked about a small group of college kids that are trying to make a difference in the world. From protesting women's rights, to civil rights, but one thing she mentioned that really caught Vi's attention was when she talked about the homosexuals. Vi froze, trying not to think about it, but couldn't stop her mind from constantly trailing back to that topic.

Days later when Camille and Vi were alone, sweeping out the barn, after a large group of cows were just milked, Vi turned to Camille.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

Camille immediately stopped what she was doing to give Vi her full attention. "Sure, what's up?"

"The other day when you mentioned that you know some young people from your school that are standing up for certain people's rights, you mentioned homosexuals."

"Yes, I did." Camille said softly.

"Is that like guys who like to kiss other guys?"

Camille smiled softly as she stepped closer to Vi. "Well, yes it can be that, but it's much more than just wanting to kiss someone of the same gender. It's when you feel a connection, followed by feelings of attraction to the same sex."

"So girls can like other girls?" Vi asked nervously, as she felt her hands begin to sweat.

"Yes, girls can also like other girls."

"But it's wrong, right?" Vi asked, her mouth suddenly feeling very dry.

"Well some people feel that way yes, but that doesn't mean they are right. People deserve to love who they want, who they are drawn to. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to matters of the heart. Love doesn't have to be complicated. But some people are afraid of things that are different, things they are not used to seeing, but that doesn't make them wrong."

Vi looked at Camille, suddenly aware that this may be the very reason she had always felt out of place. Never feeling like she fit in. Always watching other girls her age, chasing boys around, wondering when she would feel that desire. "You know Vi," Camille said as Vi suddenly found her standing closer than she realized.

Vi stood frozen in place, as her eyes were locked in on the woman standing in front of her. And without hesitation Camille leaned in and whisper into Vi's ear. "There is nothing wrong with desiring another woman."

Vi's breath hitched, her heart pounding in her chest, as the older woman's warm breath could be felt against her neck, the words echoing on repeat inside of her head. She swallowed hard, trying to get past the lump that suddenly formed in her throat.

Camille slowly stepped back, putting her hand on Vi's chest, feeling her heart beat faster and faster. "If you ever want to talk more, I'm here."

Vi's legs almost gave out, as she grabbed onto her broom tighter for stability. Camille pulled her hand away, but Vi could still feel the warmth in left in its wake. She watched as Camille slowly walked away, knowing her world would never be the same.

Days on the farm were suddenly more exciting for Vi, she knew Camille would only be staying for a couple more months, until college started back up, but she knew she would enjoy the time with her while she could.

Everything seemed to be going great, that is until Brian, one of the farms hands, suddenly found himself trying to get closer and closer to Camille.

Brian had been working on the farm for a while now. He was an older man, in his late 20s, never married, and always seeming to cause trouble where ever he went.

Everyone knew he often got bailed out for being a Nephew to the famous Tallis police commissioner. Which didn't sit right for most people in the small town, but no one dared question it.

Vi found Brian more often than not, pushing his way into their conversations. Always trying to get closer and closer to Camille. It was staring to really get to Vi, not just because of the crush Vi knew she had on Camille, but because of how uncomfortable he made her feel.

Camille was often kind, telling him she didn't want to date, that she was focusing on her studies, and looking forward to returning to school. That's when he would practically beg her to go out with him. But the more she told him no, the more forceful he was becoming.

Vi found herself grateful when Brian got asked to accompany Tony and some of the other farm hands to an out of state Dairy competition, knowing he would be gone for the better part of the week.

Vi went to work, finally feeling relaxed as she completed her duties while getting to spend more quality time with Camille, hearing more of her stories. One evening, as Vi finished up, she made her way up to the office to pick up her check. She found Camille alone in the back room, organizing some paper work.

"Hey" Vi said, trying not to scare her.

"Oh hey Vi, you heading out?"

"Yeah, just picking up my check" Vi said as she held out the envelope.

The two stood there a bit awkwardly in silence for a moment before Camille slowly walked closer to Vi. "It's been a nice few days."

Vi smiled, knowing exactly what she meant as she leaned against the small desk to her right. "it really has been."

Camille stood in front of Vi, placing her left hand on the desk as she looked into the younger woman's eyes. "Vi?"

"Yes" Vi asked, the word catching in her throat.

Camille stood facing Vi, her eyes locked into the younger woman's, until they began to drift further down. She slowly stepped closer. "May I kiss you?"

Vi could feel her heart beat throughout her entire body. Could feel her hands begin to sweat. Her mouth suddenly feeling dry. She wanted this. She so desperately wanted it. With every fiber of her being, nothing could stop her from telling this woman yes, if only she could just get the word out. Instead of forcing another yes, she nodded, hoping it was enough, as she lost the ability to speak.

The older women stepped closer. Placing her right hand on Vi's cheek. Vi leaned into her palm, the feeling overwhelming. Camille leaned in, her warm breath searing Vi's lips, as her breath hitched.

Vi closed her eyes, as she felt the older woman's lips press against hers. It was something she had never felt. Never thought she would experience. The feel, the taste, it was intoxicating. She instinctively brought up her hand to Camille's waist, as she leaned further into the kiss. Camille slowly moved her lips, allowing Vi to enjoy the moment without pushing too fast too quickly.

After what felt like hours, and seconds all at once, Camille slowly pulled away. Vi immediately missed the feeling she left behind. She slowly opened her eyes, to see the older woman smiling at her. Camille leaned her head forward against Vi's forehead, closing her eyes for a moment, taking in the feel of their bodies still pushed together. "Thank you" Camille said, finally breaking the silence. "I've wanted to do that for a while now."

Vi couldn't believe what she was hearing. The young woman she had been crushing on the last few weeks has wanted to kiss her too. She felt as though she was in a dream. She still couldn't form words, instead smiled as she looked at the older woman, hoping she could sense Vi's appreciation.

The next few days were filled with fiery glances and stolen kisses behind the hay bales. Vi knew this wouldn't last, especially with Camille going back to school soon, but she never expected it to end the way it did.

Her boss, and other work colleagues returned that following Saturday, bringing Brian, who seemed to be in an even fowler mood with them. Vi and Camille both tried to ignore him, but he became more insistent with Camille as the days went on.

Vi found herself becoming angrier and more protective over Camille. Every time Brian placed his hand on her shoulder, Vi wanted to break it. Every time he pushed for her to go out with him, Vi wanted punch him the face. The only thing stopping her was knowing she needed this job to keep her family afloat while Vander recovered from his serious injuries.

One day when Vi and Camille were alone, they made their way to a secluded spot behind some hay bales. Vi immediately took Camille in her arms, kissing her passionately as she laid her on bale of hay. Everything was perfect until Vi felt herself being pulled back by a strong force.

It all happened so fast. Vi was on the ground, Brian accusing her of taking advantage of Camille while calling her all sorts of slurs. Vi barely had time to register what was happening when several other farm hands ran in to check on the commotion.

Camille was trying to calm everyone down. Saying it wasn't what they thought. Vi tried to get up, just for a foot to be pressed into her chest, holding her down. She looked up to see Brian, an evil smirk on his face looking down at her.

"I saw it" he yelled. "Vi had Camille pinned against the hay bales, she was forcing herself on the poor girl.

"Fuck you" Vi shouted, as she grabbed his foot, and threw it off her chest. Vi quickly stood, just for Brian to advance on her, but he was quickly grabbed by another farm hand, and pulled back.

Tony the owner, came running in, questioning what was unfolding before him. After hearing Brian yell over and over again what he saw, he finally turned to Camille. "Is that true, is that what happened?"

Camille didn't even have to think about it, she quickly shouted no, just for Brian to look at her with anger. "she's lying, she's just trying to protect her girlfriend."

"No I'm not" Camille shouted back. "We were just cleaning up when Brian came barging in and attacked Vi."

Vi looked up at Camille, knowing she was lying for the both of them, but knowing now was not the time to come clean about it.

"Why would Brian do that?" Tony asked confused.

"Because Brian is jealous. Jealous I won't go out with him. Mad that I keep turning him down. He won't stop harassing me."

"Is that true?" Tony asks, looking at Brian.

"She's a lying bitch."

"Ask anyone here." Camille said calmly. "They have all seen his unwanted advances. They have all watched him harass me."

Tony looked around the room at the other farm hands, who nodded, but said nothing. "Brian your fired."

"Are you fucking kidding" he shouted, trying to get out from the two men that had his arms.

"Get him out of here". Tony said as he walked away.

The two men pulled him out of the barn, as he yelled towards Vi. "I'm not done with you. Everyone in this town will know what you are".

Vi leaned against the wall, looking at Camille who looked just as shaken up. The two sit and wait for everyone to clear out, before Camille spoke "We can't do this anymore."

Vi's heart sank, she knew she was right, she knows it's too dangerous, but the thought of losing the only connection she had ever felt, was too overwhelming to process. Tears fell down her cheeks, as she slowly walked out of the barn.

That night Brian made his way to every bar in town. Telling all who would listen, what he saw. Who Vi really was. "A disgusting homosexual, who took advantage of young woman."

Most didn't pay him any attention. Knew he was a trouble maker, but others bought into the rumor. Spreading it themselves when possible.

Vi actually found herself feeling slightly bad for the guy getting fired. She knew he probably deserved it, but she knew her and Camille did lie about what they were doing. She thought about talking to Tony, seeing if there was a way to maybe fix things. That is until she had overheard one of the farmhands talk about how they walked in on Brian pinning Camille down, trying to take advantage of her just days before the Dairy competition.

Vi felt a surge of anger. Why didn't they say something sooner. Why didn't Camille tell her what happened. She wished she could talk to Camille, but after the incident, Camille hadn't returned to the farm.

A few days later, Brian got into a serious bar fight. Assaulting a young man and woman, when the woman turned down his advances. The police were called, and the two pressed charges, landing him in prison for a few years.

After Brian had finally been sent to where he belonged, Vi thought she would finally be able to breathe again, but the damage Brian had inflicted was irreversible. Over time, most forgot or didn't care, but from time to time, Vi would notice negative stares, or whispers behind her back. She tried not to let it bother her, but as time went on, it started to affect her siblings. They would often get called slurs, or made fun of for being related to Vi.

Vi hated that her actions led to her siblings taking heat on her behalf. But she put on a brave face, and pushed forward. Vowing never to let anything, or anyone interfere with her priorities again. That was until a year ago, when she was setting two bottles of milk on her new customer's porch, just to look up and see two beautiful blue eyes staring back at her.

Vi stood alone on the porch. The timing couldn't be worse. The man that tried to ruin her life, her reputation, her family's reputation, was not just getting out of prison, but returning to the place she worked. Sure, she no longer worked directly on the farm, but she still had to show up there every morning. Still volunteered to help on weekends. Her chest began to tighten when she thought about all she had to lose.

Vi thought about the fair, how Caitlyn confessed her own troubled past on the Ferris wheel. How they watched fireworks together, letting her hand brush against hers. Things that meant nothing when taken out of context. Vi never planned to push further, not until today at the pond.

Vi remembers how beautiful Caitlyn looked in her swimming suit, how nervous she looked to be around her family. How easily she pushed away her insecurities to have a good time. But what stood out the most, what Vi couldn't get out of her head all day, was what happened when Vi put her hand on Caitlyn's waist to help her with the rope swing.

Vi remembers the way Caitlyn's skin felt under her hand, but all was forgotten when Caitlyn looked up at her. Her eyes bore into Vi's, like she was telling her a story only the two could hear. She knew she could get lost in those eyes that reflected perfectly what Vi would describe as beauty. But it's when she felt Caitlyn's hand reach the back of her thigh, and pull her closer, that she knew she could no longer pretend this was just a friendship.

Vi rarely found herself dumbfounded, but when she felt her body being pulled into Caitlyn's, she was lost for all thought. Minutes passed when she finally realized that Caitlyn was in the water and Jinx was looking at her like she was an idiot. She only then was able to snap herself out of the trance the younger woman had put her in.

After returning to her house from the pond, she thought about ignoring her desire for the younger woman. Chalking Caitlyn's behavior up to just being socially awkward, but when she tried to apologize in the bathroom, Vi knew it was no accident. She knew Caitlyn felt something towards her, even if she didn't know what it meant.

Vi thought back to before she met Camille. How confused she was about her feelings. How lost she had been without someone to guide her. The least she could do was be a guide for Caitlyn. Help her navigate this confusing time. That's why she didn't hesitate to take Caitlyn's hand under the blankets at the drive-in movie. She wanted Caitlyn to know she not only felt the same way, but she was willing to explore what they had. She wanted not only to be what Camille was for her, but more. She had no idea what more was, but she was tired of feeling like she couldn't have what she truly wanted.

That was until now. Knowing that the one person who could take everything she was building away was returning in a few weeks' time. She knew Brian wasn't the kind of guy to let things go. She knew he would try to start trouble with her the second he saw her. Vi knew he would go after Caitlyn if given the chance. A chance she couldn't allow him to have.

Tears threatened to spill over, as Vi looked out into the darkness. She wanted to quit her job and just run away. Run from all her responsibilities. Be a young adult, who didn't have multiple mouths to feed, but as soon as the thought entered her mind, it was driven out by the sound of her siblings, laughing and yelling at each other from the other side of the door. She knew she couldn't walk away from them. She had to put away her own selfish desires for just a bit longer, to make sure her family was okay.

Wednesday morning, Caitlyn was sitting on her porch feeling better than she had in a while. She had just experienced one of the best days of her life the day before, and it was all because of the woman who would arrive to bring her milk any minute now. She found herself lost in thought, thinking about how her hand felt in the older woman's, when she was quickly pulled back to the present.

Looking up, she saw an older man, holding two bottles of milk in his hands.

"Hey there young lady, got your milk here for you."

Caitlyn quickly rose to her feet, looking around frantically. Was this some kind of joke? Where was her milkwoman? "Where's Vi?"