Chapter 14: Ten Things I Hate About You

Keith

I was a little surprised that Lionel and Peggy were able to pull together such an elaborate ceremony so quickly. But, as I'd learned, the Saunders were nothing if not efficient and resourceful. My woman was in the bridal procession along with her other sisters. Lionel had a bunch of his work buddies to balance things out. Despite still being tired, my love cleaned up nicely for the wedding. She was glowing with happiness for her sister, making me wonder how she would look at our own nuptials. The ceremony itself was pretty standard. Still, Peggy made a beautiful bride, her baby bump barely showing. And Lionel easily matched her in a light-colored tux that made his olive skin shine.

My girlfriend stayed out of the bouquet toss, snuggling against me as it landed in Peggy's best friend's hands. Some guy named Oliver caught the garter and made a big show of putting it on her. The thought of him putting it on my girl had me growling low in my throat until she leaned up and kissed my cheek. Then the picture righted itself to me putting the garter on my wonderful woman and I relaxed. Apparently, I had a jealous streak.

After the wedding dances, Mama Saunders insisted on dancing with me. As Jodeci's 'Forever My Lady' played, the matriarch began her interrogation.

"You seem pretty serious about my Ladybug, Keith. It's good to see you making her so happy. Especially amid all this Smith nonsense. The look in your eye is claiming when it's trained on her. And you often seem to find her in a crowd. What do you plan to do about these facts, Mr. Rochester?"

"I plan to marry her when the time is right," I shrugged. She nodded in approval.

"You seem to be supportive of her and her dreams. That's wonderful. Tamara has always been special to us. My husband and I had our eye on another baby altogether that day at the orphanage. The most beautiful little girl you've ever seen. But, Tammy just… stared at us. Her unfocused little eyes shone with love and mischief. And when Michael turned to walk away, my little Ladybug grabbed his finger and giggled. That was when we knew she was coming home with us. It was the strangest behavior we'd ever seen in a newborn who'd been left to die in a garbage can and it showed us that she had what it took to be one of our family."

"Tamara is the most charismatic woman I have ever met," I confirmed for her. "She draws people to her and to her side. Leslie threw away a goldmine the day she got rid of my baby on a selfish whim."

"Are you ready for the rematch? Leslie has no idea the hell she's unleashed. The Saunders Siblings are not ones to go quietly into the night. We didn't raise them like that. We taught them to seek justice and to do the right thing. This fight could get nasty. Are you ready for it?"

"I'm ready for my woman to get hers. She didn't deserve any of what Leslie did to her. And I plan to be right by her side when she gets justice."

"That's good. Cause I'd hate for you to become another bastard that we'd have to cut down," Myriel said sweetly. She reached up and patted my cheek before walking away from me in the middle of the song and joining her husband in the corner. I could only gawk at her until my girlfriend came into my line of vision.

"Mom has that effect on people. What? You didn't think I got it honest?" Tammy giggled while pulling me further away to the center of the dance floor.

"Mama left him gobsmacked, I take it," Alica giggled, sidling up beside us, Greg in tow.

"Don't worry about it, Keith. Mama Saunders has that effect on all of us. I think even Tatiana is feeling the heat." We all looked over at Sandra's fiancée who looked a lot like I had a little bit ago. Tammy laid her head on my chest and I caressed her bare back, careful of her hair. I rumbled my approval when she melted against me as we danced. The rest of the afternoon went this way, old school Hip Hop, R and B, and pop blasting through the garden. I drew the line at line dancing though, leaving my tipsy lady to do the Cha Cha Slide with her equally wasted sisters. Heading to the edge of the dance floor, I was grateful when Daddy Saunders handed me a beer.

"Thanks," I said, taking a grateful gulp of the cold liquid. We watched the ladies dance in silence. After a while I looked over at him, expecting him to say something. Michael was only watching his children and wife with a fond smile on his bearded face.

"I love them all dearly. But none as dearly as my precious little one," he said at length. This was the most I'd heard the man speak since meeting him.

"Hurt her and 'Amateur MMA fighter' will be your only epitaph," he said quietly, looking me dead in the eye. I held eye contact until I couldn't anymore.

"I'm not about to mess up the best thing to ever happen to me," I assured him instead. He only continued to stare at me before moving onto the dance floor. He held out a hand to my woman, who blushed and took it. They danced to Luther Vandross' 'Dance with My Father' and I just kept drinking. Yeah, I definitely needed to up my game in the threat department. I also decided then and there to bring my lovely one home to my family.

… …

"Oh, come in, come in," my mother said two weeks later, ushering us into her lavish home. Tammy's head was on a swivel, trying to take everything in all at once. I couldn't say I blamed her. The Rochester's were some of the wealthiest African Americans in Southern California. I'd never wanted for anything growing up, but I'd never asked for much. I'd earned my way through college, went to work with a good company, and started my business on my reputation rather than borrowing from my parents as a shortcut. In fact, most people didn't know about my wealthy relations.

"It probably would have been better if you'd brought her around a month and a half ago, before this whole Leslie Smith scandal, but it's fine," Victoria said with her usual tact. My girl froze but didn't hesitate to defend herself. "Oh, don't worry about it, sweetie. I know my son. He would never stay with a woman that would do the things you're being accused of. Please, have a seat. I'm Victoria Rochester, but you must call me Victoria. Tell us about yourself." I noticed my father already seated in the corner, looking forbidding. Oh boy, this was going to be a tough sell.

"I am an aspiring hairdresser. The Leslie thing has slowed down that aspiration, but not ended it. Before that, I was a Registered Nurse at the County Hospital. I'm originally from Pennsylvania, but I moved here to California with my sister and I love it here. I-"

"Why would we want to know where you came from?" my dad cut in rudely.

"I never said you did, sir," my girl said without skipping a beat. "But your wife asked me to tell y'all about myself and I thought that fact might be interesting to you. Apologies if it isn't. I come from a large family and I joined your son's gym almost nine months ago-"

"No doubt to win yourself a buff husband," he interrupted belligerently.

"Father!" I berated him, tired of his bullshit.

"On the contrary, sir. I joined a gym full of crazily hot guys for the exact opposite reason. I was sick of the bossy idiots at the other gyms trying to force me to work out their way. I figured that I'd be ridiculed and/or ignored at a MMA gym. My headphones took care of the first part, but I obviously underestimated my curiosity factor, otherwise, I wouldn't be here." Instead of continuing her spiel about herself, she stopped and waited my father out. After an uncomfortably long silence in which she stared at him neutrally, Dad looked away.

"You may call me Barbarossa, Tamara. Is there anything else we should know about you?

"I speak three additional languages and I like to sing, though I don't do it professionally. That's all I can think of off the top of my head."

"What languages?"

"Russian, Marathi, and Korean. My sister is a French teacher and she was teaching me French and Spanish before I moved. I'm only passable at those, not fluent."

"Marathi?" my sister decided to join the conversation. Tammy nodded with a warm smile.

"It's a very popular dialect in India. My oldest sister wanted to get in touch with her roots and insisted that I do it with her as a bonding exercise. It's fun to speak, but I mostly get to use it when Peggy and I go out for Indian food."

"Your oldest sister is Indian?" Victoria asked in confusion. I could see my girl mentally sighing at her faux pas in bringing up her eclectic family.

"Yes. My parents are sterile, so they started adopting. I have ten siblings, most are from different ethnic backgrounds." She pulled up a picture of all her siblings from Peggy's wedding, showing it around.

"You're the only Black girl in the group," Mom tsked. "It must have been horrible for you growing up."

"What do you mean?" my woman asked in confusion. Victoria suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

"Well, you never had anyone to teach you to act like one of us," she finally managed to answer. Tammy raised an eyebrow and gave her a lost look that no doubt made my mother wish she'd kept that big, indiscreet mouth of hers shut. "It's nothing, dear. Just… You never had a parent to teach you how to be Black. I just find that a little sad."

"Why would I need to learn to be Black? Black isn't something I'm trying to be, it's something I am, regardless of how I act. As for my childhood, it was amazing! I was exposed to so many cultures. Mom and Dad loved me to pieces. And I was spoiled rotten as the youngest."

"It never bothered you to look around your family and not see anyone who looked like you?" Mom prodded, refusing to let it drop. Jubilee and I groaned, but my innocent lady only thought about it for a while before shaking her head.

"Never. When I look around at my family I only see the people that would take a bullet for me, just like I would for them. That's what family is about, isn't it?" she stared at my mother until she looked away uncomfortably.

"Why did you move from the East Coast?" my sister jumped in before our mother could make things more awkward.

"There was this program in college. If I went to nursing school, became a Registered Nurse, and worked for four years in the inner city in Philadelphia, they would eliminate my student debt. I knew it would be hard as it wasn't really what I wanted to do, but I made it happen and low and behold, my debt was paid off. After being forced into one job for four years, I needed to get away, so I moved far, far away."

"What were you running from?" Dad asked snidely.

"I wasn't so much running away as I was trying to establish a new identity, sir. I'd gotten my diploma from beauty school during that time. I was eager to build capital so I could go to the bank and present a plan to open my own beauty salon/barber shop. I just-"

"So much for that plan," Father scoffed. "There hasn't been much of a response to Leslie's claims, outrageous though they may be."

"With respect, the response is coming. What's that old saying? They shall sow the wind and reap the whirlwind? Mrs. Smith has no idea what she unleashed when she assumed that I was just another naive victim to be used and disposed of. My retaliation shall be swift, brutal, and lasting. That woman will never destroy another woman like this again."

"Another?" Victoria asked softly.

"I really can't say more right now," she said, sparking my interest. This was new information to me. Instead of adding to her interrogation, I hugged her to my side and sat us both down on the couch.

"And just so you know, that saying is not just some saying," Barbarossa said firmly. "It's a verse from the book of Hosea in the Bible."

"Thank you. I always wondered where it came from. You and Mrs. Rochester have a beautiful home. May I ask if it was an inherited estate or a relatively recent purchase?"

"We bought this old place around the time we were pregnant with Keith. I love my mother-in-law, bless her heart, but I refused to have her in our business while we were trying to figure out parenting. We just recently had the whole place remodeled."

"It's quite lovely. My oldest sister is an interior decorator, so I notice things like that."

"Looking to get in on the family fortune?" Barbarossa asked nastily. The blank look on my poor love's face took some of the wind out of my father's sails, but he didn't retract the statement.

"Why in the world would I want your fortune? I have my own money; I don't need yours."

"Oh, come now. You want no part of the Rochester family money? I'm sure that-"

"Up until we drove up to your house, I had no idea that Keith came from money. But even if I had known, I'm not a golddigger. My parents taught me to make my own way in the world and that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm a fully independent woman who-"

"Who is living with my son! How is that independent?"

"Long before I met your son, I was rooming with my sister in a condo that we split the fees and utilities on. I buy my own clothes and my own essentials. The only reason I moved in with your son is that he asked me to. And even then, I pay my part of the property tax and utilities. I carry my own weight; I refuse to just live off someone. That's not the way I roll."

"Hmph! With this whole Smith incident, you're essentially unemployed."

"So what? I have a very large cushion from my time in the Philadelphia Health Region as well as with the hospital out here. As I mentioned before, I've been saving for years to afford my own business. It's just a matter of adjusting my budget to use that cushion until I have an income again. And I will have an income again. That woman will not destroy me."

"How much of a cushion could you possibly have?"

My lady named a sum that had my newsy father's eyes widening before I could tell him to back off.

"How the hell is that-"

"I've always preferred to save rather than spend. My parents taught me how to live debt-free, and I don't use vacation or sick time, so the hospitals had to pay out my time. I live within my means because I have a plan, much like I'm sure you have a plan for your own business. So, like I said. I don't need your money. Not yours and certainly not your son's. If I ever needed to borrow money, I would go to a bank. Relationships get messy and complicated when money is involved." Everyone was staring at my woman, but she was focused on staring at my father again. My father gave it the old college try this time, trying to outlast my lady. But it was clear that my woman was on a whole other level when it came to staring contests. No one could outlast her; she didn't seem to care about discomfort. Barbarossa looked away from her as we all watched awkwardly.

Sir? Madam? Dinner is served," our family chef said in a French accent.

"J'adore votre accent, monsieur," my lady said, shocking all of us. (I love your accent, sir.)

"Ah, je vois que tu parles le langage de l'amour. Où l'as-tu récupéré?" Our kind older chef, who'd never spoken a word of French in the past, suddenly said in a flirtatious voice. (Ah, I see you speak the language of love. Where did you pick it up?)

"Une de mes sœurs est professeur de français. J'essaie de ne pas manquer les occasions de mettre en pratique ce qu'elle m'a appris," my lady answered in a friendly way, leaning against me. (One of my sisters is a French teacher. I try not to miss opportunities to practice what she taught me.)

"Eh bien, ton accent est parfait. Je trouve que la plupart des gens qui essaient d'apprendre ma langue ont des accents de merde. A quoi ça sert, hein?" (Well, your accent is perfect. I find that most people who try to learn my language have shit accents. What's the point, eh?)

"Alica m'a bien appris," She grinned mischievously and kissed my cheek. "Shall we head in? Dinner smells delicious!" She stood up, turning and pulling me up playfully. I went willingly, a fond smile on my face as she heaved me to my feet. (Alica taught me well.)

"That was… You… You speak good French," Victoria finally settled on. My lady grinned happily.

"Alica insists I practice my skills whenever I get a chance. She doesn't want me to lose the rhythm of the languages I speak. Shall we?" Jubilee and I shared a look and I noticed for the first time just how silent she was being. While my sister was shy, she had a very curious nature. It wasn't like her to clam up like this.

"Everything alright, sis?" I asked in an undertone as we made our way to the dining hall. "You're not one to hold back." She gave a fake laugh that was so out of character for her that I looked at her sharply.

"I'm just tired today, bro. Besides, she's the first girl you've ever been serious enough about to bring home. I figured I'd gather Intel before I started my own interrogation. Mother's so busy stuffing her foot in her mouth and Father's being so rude and abrasive that I figured she could use a break."

"How's it going with Ryan? I haven't seen him in a while. Figured you'd be bringing him around to combat my Tammy." The panicked look on her face surprised me, but she quickly schooled her lovely facial features.

"Actually, I haven't… We're on a break right now," she said ruefully. Something about the way she said that seemed off, but before I could ask her properly what she meant by that, we reached the dining hall, my entire family towering over my girlfriend. She looked so cute standing between my parents answering yet more questions. I drifted towards her, unable to help myself. Taking her hand, I kissed it before leading her to my usual seat at the table.

"She was meant to sit over there," Mother said in embarrassment, pointing out a seat across from me. I just settled my lady next to me, giving my mother a droll look. She flushed but went along with my decision. Considering how brutal the interrogation had been so far, there was no way I was leaving her alone at the table.

My suspicions were correct. Mother and Father launched into another harsh questioning session as soon as the appetizers were set on the table. My woman defended herself admirably, but it was clear that Barbarossa was not impressed. She seemed relaxed and willing to answer any questions thrown her way, but I caught the tell-tale signs of her nerves. That was the thing with Tammy. Years of nursing experience had honed her ability to improvise and subtly direct a conversation. But my parents were not allowing her to work her magic. Still, she'd won over my mother by the time dessert was served. It was in the way Victoria started trying to reign in my father. He was convinced that if he applied enough pressure, she would crack. Tamara wasn't one to crack under pressure though, and his frustration was starting to show through the rudeness of his queries.

"So, what's your plan?" The man asked forcefully out of the blue. "Get yourself knocked up and-"

"That's enough, Father! Our sex life is none of your business."

"It is when our family business hangs in the balance! You don't seem to realize that by moving her into your house, she now owns half of it. You've done nothing to protect yourself or us from this viper's ambitions. She could be-"

"I don't appreciate being spoken of in those terms," Tammy said firmly, standing up to face my father directly now that tact was off the table. "Especially when I've done nothing to earn your ire. You have yet to tell me what you do for a living! You are making these grand, sweeping, unfavorable assumptions about me and my character! You just met me and you have already judged me and found me wanting. I'm sure that the background check you've done on me has already revealed that most of what you're accusing me of isn't true. Keith is my first boyfriend. Our relationship is still being molded by the two of us. It was very clear from the moment we met that you'd made up your mind not to like me."

"So here are the facts. 1) I love your son. 2) I will not give him up because you are too greedy with your fortune. 3) I have no interest in your family fortune. I find your constant topic changes back to the subject distasteful and off-putting. 4) Yes, I am willing to sign the contract you've obviously got waiting in the wings to keep your precious riches for yourself. 5) If I did turn up pregnant, I would never ask for your help supporting our child. Unlike you, my family is more than happy to accept any child I happen to have into their lives, though I don't need their help either. 6) I was doing just fine before I met your son. It would hurt to leave him, but I will survive with or without him. And 7) It will be very difficult to end up pregnant when your son has a vasectomy!"

She was panting hard by the end of her spiel, and I couldn't be prouder of her. No one stood up to Barbarossa Rochester. He was a hard, driven, grasping man by nature. Even I picked my battles with him. But here, my Tammy had just called him out without batting an eyelash!

"Now that I have successfully ruined the ambiance of the meal, I'll just-"

"Come to the bathroom with me," Jubilee jumped into the conversation. Tamara blinked but gave in with a shrug.

"Sure. That'll give your father a chance to get out those legal documents he's been dying for me to sign all night." My sister dragged her out of the room, giving me a chance to gather my thoughts.

"How did she know about those papers?" My old man asked in disbelief. "She's either smarter than I gave her credit for or she's been surveilling us."

"Nobody cares about your damn wine, father," I yelled at him, standing up from the table. "You've been riding my girlfriend hard all night, trying to find a weakness. But my woman isn't like that! She's the sweetest, most intuitive, kindest woman I've ever met! And what's this about a contract?"

"Sit down, son. It's a standard contract cutting her out of the family fortune. Your mother signed the exact same contract when we got serious about our relationship."

"No," I said, furious with my father. "Tamara isn't signing anything for you. She-"

"Son, please," my mother interjected. "You have to understand. Grapes of Wrath wine is all that matters. It's worth almost a billion dollars and if-"

"Uh-huh. Let me ask you this, father. How did it make you feel when Grandpa Tamogen insisted on your woman signing her rights away as your partner?" Barbarossa suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"That was different, son. Your mother and I-"

"Right. And after Grandpop retired, leaving controlling interests to you and your brother in perpetuity, what exactly prevented you from doing away with the contract that angered you so much in your youth?" Mother blinked as if it never occurred to her, but my father refused to meet my eye. "And now you expect me to follow in your greedy footsteps? I don't think so. Either we sign together or she doesn't sign at all."

"Don't be ridiculous, son! The grapes are your legacy. You are my legacy. My father was right to insist-"

"And now that it's been decades? Now that our mother has proven that she is a faithful woman after 34 years of marriage and two children?"

"You need to stop talking about things you don't understand," Barbarossa said angrily, using that tone of voice that used to warn me that I was over the line. I didn't heed the warning this time. For the first time ever, I was ready for a fight - THE fight - with the old man.

"I understand that you'll do just about anything to stay rich! I don't care about your grapes! I'm building my own legacy, same as your daughter. I will not have my wife exposed to your greed. If you want the money so badly, you can have it! I'll cut myself out of your will and then you can have all the money for yourself!"

My old man was looking at me as if seeing me for the first time. Hell, maybe he was. I'd never challenged him like this. But maybe it was time he knew my mind. I wasn't afraid of him and the idea of having to make it on my own hadn't scared me since I figured out my life's trajectory. "Just know, Father, that you can't take it with you."

It was into this awkward silence that the girls returned. Jubilee looked a little teary, but she was smiling so I didn't pay it much mind. My lady looked ready for round two to my amusement. She didn't even bother to sit down.

"I think I've caused enough havoc in your household for one day, Mr. Rochester. Dinner was a treat, Mrs. Victoria. Thank you for your hospitality." She hugged my mother and sister tightly to their delight. Afterward, she shook my father's hand formally and bid the family goodnight. We walked out to my car in silence, but she couldn't seem to hold her tongue once we pulled away from the estate.

"So… Is there a reason you never mentioned that your father was the real Scrooge McDuck?" We looked at each other blankly as I stopped at a stop light. Then we both burst out laughing.

"Baby, I love you so much," I chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and squeezing her close to me.