Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon Sailor Stars: Chaos Theory
Act 47: A Guardian's Quest
By: Sora Kazeno
Princess Serenity opened her eyes. Her eyes were the same dull shade of blue which signified that Chaos was still in command of her body. "It's amazing," she said as she looked at the beaded golden bracelet on her wrist, "how a person can survive being split between two personalities and not go mad."
Sailor Galaxia found her voice first. "What are you talking about?"
"This body is split between her former life as Princess Serenity and eventual Queen of Crystal Tokyo and just an ordinary high school student Tsukino Usagi. The amount of conflict had made it so easy to bend her to my will. You don't think it was a coincidence how she drastically changed? I believe you said it best," Princess Serenity said as she turned to face Sailor Galaxia. "We all have a dark side to our soul." She smiled. "I guess hers was darker than I ever imagined. Can you image being torn between two different destinies for one body?" She flipped some of her hair to side. "But enough of that. I've sealed Usagi. I don't find her useful."
"What did you do with Usako?" Mamoru demanded as he tried to control his anger.
"Ah, yes the Prince of Earth. The soul mate for Princess Serenity…. too bad Chiba Mamoru isn't the soul mate for Tsukino Usagi," Princes Serenity said with a smirk.
"How can you be so cruel?" Yaten exclaimed who was surprised by his own outburst. If there was one thing he learned about this girl before him she would never say something to purposely hurt someone.
"You begin to bore me," said Princess Serenity as Sailor Moon's brooch appeared in her hands. She opened the lid and the brooch began to float in the air. A bright white light began to shine from the once red star.
"The Maboroshi no Ginzuishou!" Setsuna exclaimed as she pulled out her crystal wand preparing to transform.
"What are you doing?" Rei shouted at her as she grabbed her arm. "It's Usagi you're about to attack!"
Setsuna frowned as she thought about Rei's words. It was difficult to be able to attack her own Princess she was sworn to protect.
The Maboroshi no Ginzuishou floated next to Princess Serenity with an out stretched hand, the crystal flew into her right hand. In her left hand appeared the tiare she used as Sailor Moon to purify enemies.
"No!" Princess Kakyuu shouted as she recognized what was about to happen. "She is about to combined both of the senshi power sources!" Princess Kakyuu attempted to attack but Sailor Chi stood in the way.
"Now the real fun begins!" Sailor Moon exclaimed with glee as the crystal came in contact with her tiare. A bright white flash occurred. Everyone had to shield their eyes from the intensity of the white hot light.
"The birth of a star…" Seiya murmured as he felt the energy radiate. "Odango…we're too late…" he said in defeat.
The light began to die down and turned to darkness. A burst of prism colors appeared for a moment. Once that energy began to fade the first thing they saw was a flowing white cape flickering side to side from the gusts of wind that was created by merging the two powerful objects. Her hair flowed with the wind but it was no longer gold. It had a silver hue and the ponytails were so long they nearly touched the ground she walked on. She wore a pair of high heeled high shoes with small feathers fanning out to the side just below her ankles. She wore a short white pleated dress. In the center of the dress pleats was a small star shaped crystal enclosed in a small orb. On the top side of the orb were small feathers that resembled wings. Underneath the feather shaped wings were five small pearl looking beads. Underneath the small orb were several strips of color that seemed similar to a mimic a rainbow. Two thin bands of ribbon flow out from under this emblem nearly touching the floor. Her broach also had the same symbol that was on the lower part of her dress. The dress sleeves were three horizontal bands of gold fabric with small pearls and feathers lining the side of each arm from the shoulder down. The dress had a sailor collar with three bands around the edge. A white choker with a gold pointed star lay on her neck. Three pearl beads adorned each ear lobe. An eight pointed star blazed on her forehead which replaced the crescent moon symbol that had covered her forehead for so many years. She had the same feathered hair ornaments she wore in her hair as Eternal Sailor Moon. Her hair no longer in round shaped odangos, a tradition from her past life for royalty of the Silver Millennium. But rather heart shaped odangos like the ones Chibi Chibi had worn. She wore a singular pearl ring on each of her fingers. In her left hand she held a long staff. The top of the staff carried the same emblem that was found through her outfit with the eight pointed golden star. The light from the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou fading as it became one with the star in the crystal sphere. She opened her eyes. They had retained the dark blue hue. She didn't say anything at first as she could feel this new energy pulsing throughout her.
"…Sailor Cosmos…" Galaxia said as she stared the woman before her. There was no mistaking her fuku.
Usagi gasps as the memories flood back. She fell asleep on the couch and while she dozed off, memories of her awakening finally came back to her. She combined her tiare and the Ginzuishou. Could she do the same thing right now and all of her struggles would be over with? She could become Sailor Cosmos and return home.
She summons her tiare and holds the object in her hands. Her hands shake. She is anxious and excited at the same time. She knows this is her best chance. She wants to know if it will work but she is also terrified of what will happen. If it doesn't work she is out of ideas. She is betting everyone on this one move. It was all or nothing.
She places the tiare on the ground. She needs to retrieve her brooch. She stands up, her legs shaking, nearly causing her to fall back over. She uses the couch arm to steady herself. She stands there for a few moments breathing hard. She closes her eyes focusing on her breathing to try to calm her racing heart. She didn't expect this kind of reaction. She has to be calm and focused if she wants this work. She spends a few minutes in this position until her breath is at a normal pace.
She grabs her brooch from the dresser in the bedroom and returns to the living room and sits back down. The brooch and the tiare lay next to each other. She timidly opens the cover of her brooch. A simple act she has done countless times but never with stakes so high. Her fingers trace the outline of the star. She doesn't need to transform into Sailor Moon to summon the Ginzuishou.
She rests her fingers on top of the brooch and closes her eyes. Gold energy gathers on her forehead taking the shape of a crescent moon. She hopes it will be replaced by an eight pointed star soon. She opens her eyes and is surprised to see she is in her Princess gown. She closes her eyes to focus again. She has to draw the crystal out of her brooch. Her fingers lightly touch the star again. The star illuminates in a series of colors and becomes a rainbow prism. The same colors it changes to when she uses her brooch to transform into Sailor Moon.
A bright flash emits from the brooch followed by a twinkle of white lights. The lights begin to form a round object. She slowly opens her eyes and sees the Ginzuishou floating above her brooch. She gingerly grabs the crystal in her hand and brings it closer to her chest. She breathes deeply a few times.
With her right hand she reaches over to her tiare and holds the crystal in her left hand, just like she done before. She holds the crystal centimeters away from the tiare and pauses. How can she combine the too? She did it without thinking when she was under Chaos' control. Was there a trick to it?
She takes a deep breath and places the crystal next to the tiare. Nothing happens.
"Hmmm." Princess Serenity presses her lips together. Should she try to release energy from the Ginzuishou, the tiare, or both? She tries her tiare first. It does not require as much energy to release compared to the crystal. She decides it is best to start simple and work her way up.
Her tiare flashes as white light and a few feathers fall from the staff. She places the crystal against the crown top. The Ginzuishou flashes brightly, Princess Serenity's heart quickens. It couldn't possibly be this simple? She pushes those thoughts to the side and returns her focus to trying to combine the two.
She gasps when she feels some resistance from the crystal. The Ginzuishou is pushing back. She focuses her energy on the crystal trying to find a way to force it to merge with the tiara. The crystal flashes brightly a few times and more energy is expelled. She clenches her teeth she pushes forward.
A bright flash is emitted from the crystal and it becomes burning hot in her hand, causing her to drop the crystal on her gown. She shakes her left hand out as the heat gradually decreases. It feels like she burned her hand badly but there is no mark. She places the tiare down next to her.
Tears stream down her cheeks. This was her best chance to become Sailor Cosmos and she failed. Nothing happened. She wants to try again but feels dread at the thought of being disappointed again. She would try again in a few days. She needs to rest. She expelled a lot of energy attempting to merge the two.
The process was more difficult than she imagined. In her dream, Chaos made it look so easy. Perhaps Chaos provided an extra energy boost which made the process easier.
Did she need to channel the energy differently? She frowns. A clear pathed seemed to be laid out before her but she still could not be successful. What is wrong with her? Why can she not summon the power that is hidden deep within? She seemed to have a sudden burst of strength when there is danger but there is none. The world is at peace. No one is attacking Tokyo.
Does she have to wait until the city is under attack by the Black Moon? But by then it would be too late. That would be many years from now. Chibi Usa will be born by then. Her memories of her past timeline would certainly be gone by then and would not know about Sailor Cosmos' existence.
"Aaaaah!" Princess Serenity shouts and rubs the sides of her temples. She is extremely frustrated. She thought she finally had a way to become Sailor Cosmos. She expected some difficulties but not to this extent. The Ginzuishou acted as if it was rejecting the tiare. Something it has never done before. She had used the crystal countless times to amplify her abilities, but the abilities of Sailor Moon. Not the powers of the legendary senshi, the Guardian.
She reverts back to Usagi. She begins to realize just how much the entire process drained her. She carefully stands up and walks back to the bedroom to lie down. She closes her eyes and quickly falls asleep.
Usagi had another chance to try again three days later. She made sure she slept as much as she could the night before. Usagi takes a deep breath and tries to mentally prepare herself for what she is about to try. It did not work last time. She used the tiare first last time. She will reverse the process today by starting with the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou.
She becomes Princess Serenity and draws out the crystal once more. She rolls the object around in her hands contemplating what she can do differently other than starting with the crystal. She knows she is delaying it because she is terrified she will not succeed. But she can't think like that.
She breathes deeply for several minutes holding the crystal in her hands. So many times she used this crystal to protect the Earth and her friends in life and death situations. This time she wants to use the crystal to restore who she once was. Was this her first selfish wish? Not entirely she argues. If her powers are restored she can protect everyone. No one has to battle the Dark Moon again.
She picks up the tiare in her left hand. Her heart is no longer calm. She takes one more deep breath and uses her energy to activate the crystal. The Maboroshi no Ginzuishou flashes brightly once more, emitting white light. The crystal feels warm in her hand but not burning hot as it had last time. This gives her some hope she will be successful today.
The crystal flashes a little brighter as her concentration increases. Her body is filled with a sense of warmth from the crystal. She gradually moves the tiare closer to the crystal.
The tiare is now next to the crystal, only centimeters apart. She focuses her thoughts on how wonderful it would be to be Sailor Cosmos and how wonderful things would be when they return to normal. The crystal is now touching the tiare. She tries to expel as much energy as she can from the crystal to make it easier to merge with tiare. She feels some resistance.
She presses forward. She knew this would not be an easy process. She came this far. The crystal grows brighter and seems to push back at the tiare. "No!" She exclaims out loud as the crystal becomes hotter in her right hand, the same as it had a few days before. The Ginzuishou becomes so hot she has to drop it from her hand again.
A few tears trickle down her cheeks. She sobs quietly.
Hopelessness is setting in. She has tried twice to merge the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou and the tiare. She failed both times. She doesn't know what she is missing. Can it be done? Is there no way for her to return home?
She fanatically tries to wipe the tears away but they keep falling. They won't stop. Her shoulders shake. She wants to scream out of sadness, frustration, and so many other emotions in between. She is a wreck.
Her princess gown vanishes and is replaced with the blouse and skirt she put on this morning. After several minutes, the tears finally begin to decrease. Several more minutes pass before the tears cease. She wipes her eyes a few more times before she stands up on wobbly legs. She catches her balance on a shelf next to the television. She stays there for several moments to steady herself.
When the dizzy sensation passes, she opens her eyes and sees an image of her in a wedding dress with Mamoru in a white tuxedo. Their wedding photo was taken at a time that is supposed to be the happiest day of their life. She immediately shuts her eyes. She doesn't want to think about it or see it. There are several photos of them together throughout their home and here she is trying to regain her abilities to leave him and go to the arms of another man.
But it's not possible. She is out of ideas. She doesn't know what else she can do. She looks around the apartment before her. Is this her future? Is it time for her to accept this?
"I haven't seen Usagi-chan around here in a while," Motoki tells Mamoru as he finishes preparing a to-go order for Mamoru.
"She's busy lately trying to help Minako," Mamoru hopes Motoki won't ask any more questions.
"I never thought the two of you would really hit it off and get married. The two of you used to argue all the time. Naturally I was surprised when I first learned the two of you were dating."
"We weren't that bad," Mamoru responds. "You make it sound like we were oil and water."
"In a way you were." Motoki places extra napkins in the bag. "In way you reminded me of how brothers and sisters argue. You did pick on her a bit."
"It wasn't always picking on her. Sometimes she needed advice… I can be a bit blunt."
"A bit… yeah." Motoki chuckles. "Blunt definitely… but not as much as before. I'm just glad to see you happy."
"Thanks Motoki-kun. I'll see you next week." Mamoru picks up his food and proceeds to work. He makes a mental note to ask Usa if he was as mean as Motoki made him out to be before they remembered their past. Could that be something that is bugging her after all this time?
"Usa, I wanted to ask you something." Mamoru sits down next to her on the couch. "The other day, I was talking to Motoki-kun and he said something that I never thought about."
"Oh?" Usagi is unsure what Mamoru is about to say.
"He talked about how he was initially surprised we started dating because of how much we fought at the beginning that we were essentially mean to each other." He waits for her to say something.
"We did say a lot of things to each other and we weren't always nice." Usagi agrees. "I know I said some not nice things to you… but that all changed when we remember who we were." She pauses for a moment and decides to ask this question that has bugged her for a while. "Do you think we would have dated if we never remembered our past?" She studies his face for his reaction.
"Actually Usa, I've thought the same thing a few times too. But I don't want to picture what my life would be like if I didn't have you in it."
"Mamo-chan," Usagi whispers with a smile and a faint blush on her cheeks. A part of her mind keeps telling her to give up trying to return to her old timeline and stay here with this Mamoru, the version she has always wanted. She moves closer to him and rests her head on his shoulder. Mamoru places his arms around her waist and hugs her tightly.
Usagi blinks a couple of times to adjust to her surroundings and the dim light. Its nearly pitch black. She hears the clicking of high heeled shoes behind her. She turns around to see Sailor Cosmos standing behind her. Usagi stands unmoving for a moment trying to determine if it was a good thing or a bad thing to see her standing there.
"You've already given up," Sailor Cosmos accuses Usagi. "If your heart is not in it you will never be able to summon my powers again. You cannot have any doubt in your heart."
"I want things to be the way they were!" Usagi argues with the women before her. "I just don't know what else I have to do! I've done everything I can think of." Usagi hopes for some direction from Sailor Cosmos but becomes doubtful she will receive the needed assistance.
"You know what you need to do!" Sailor Cosmos yells at her angrily. "I made sure you saw the memory again!" It is clear she is angry with Usagi. "You have already wasted so much time. Time that should have been spent with Seiya." Sailor Cosmos' voice lowers. "It is because a part of you still wants to be with your Prince. Princess Serenity won't let it go; it's the same as last year."
Usagi doesn't speak. She knows a part of her wishes to stay here with Mamoru. To have the future she dreamed of for years. This is her only shot for Crystal Tokyo and Chibi Usa. She sighs. "I thought I was past all of this, until I saw him become King Endymion when he found the Golden Crystal. I guess it made me realize what I was missing."
She finally looks up at Sailor Cosmos. "But I love being Sailor Cosmos; I would rather be her than Sailor Moon. Your powers are amazing. You allow me to protect everyone with no more uncertainties. I know I can save everyone without putting anyone else at risk. It's a relief."
"Try again. Merging the Ginzuishou with the tiare is the only way. Good luck. Your time is running out." Sailor Cosmos vanishes from sight.
The next morning, shortly after Mamoru leaves for work, Usagi tries again. Usagi stares at her brooch. She tried to combine them when she was Princess Serenity. Does she have to be Sailor Moon to combine the two? But if she transforms, Mamoru would know right away. She knows she wouldn't have much time. She didn't want him to leave work and rush home when nothing was wrong. It is not fair to him. Even though she is trying to leave this timeline she argues with herself.
She traces the golden heart on her brooch. Sailor Cosmos told her she is running out of time. She has to decide what is more important. She picks up her brooch and stares at it in her hands. This brooch changed four times since she received it from Luna all those years ago. She was told it was obsolete. She should have a small clear crystal pendant around her neck. For a moment she thinks about how things should be. They would never go back unless she succeeds. She has to become Sailor Moon one more time.
She raises her brooch in the air as she has done countless times in the past and calls out a familiar phrase, "Moon Eternal, Make Up!" Light flows out of the brooch on to Usagi, transforming her into the champion of love and justice. She strikes a pose and then pauses to look down at her fuku. It doesn't feel right. It feels foreign to her. She opens her brooch and the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou appears before her, floating in the air. She is about to grab the shimmering crystal when the telephone rings.
The phone startles her. She freezes for a moment trying to figure out what to do. The phone rings two more times before she rushes over to pick it up.
"Usa, I'm so glad you picked up. I was worried. Is everything alright?"
"I'm fine Mamo-chan," Sailor Moon reassures him.
"For some reason I thought you transformed."
Sailor Moon freezes trying to determine what to do next. Does she tell him the truth or does she flat out lie to him? What would be her reason? "It's just been a while and I wanted to make sure the brooch still works," She laughs nervously to try to down play the situation.
Mamoru sighs in relief. "I'm glad you're okay Usa. Next time can you give me a heads up?"
"Sure Mamo-chan."
They talk for a few more minutes before the call ends and Mamoru has to return to work. Sailor Moon gently places the telephone back on the wall. She feels guilty for causing Mamoru to worry. But if she didn't try everything she would think of she would be angry with herself. This needs to end.
She walks back to the living and blinks a few times. The Maboroshi no Ginzuishou is still floating in the air where she left it minutes ago. She has to complete this quickly. If she is transformed for too long, Mamoru would become suspicious.
She reaches out with her left hand and grabs the crystal. In her right hand she summons the tiare. She closes her eyes trying to visualize everything she witnessed in her dream.
She was transformed as Sailor Moon with both objects in the same hands. She was in her apartment rather than at Rei's shrine. She was angry when they were combined. Rather Chaos was angry. Is Chaos the missing piece?
It is impossible for her summon Chaos in her body. Chaos simply did not exist, she defeated it. She didn't want to try to find a way to summon Chaos to this world either. She did not want to relive Chaos controlling her again in any timeline and attacking everyone. She wasn't sure if she could handle it a second time.
She couldn't go to Rei's shrine. She looks around the apartment and realizes this is the closest she can do to recreate the time she combined the crystal and tiare. It was this or nothing.
In one hand, the crystal glows softly. In the other hand, her tiare emits a faint glow. She slowly moves both objects toward each other. Each object begins to a glow a little brighter. It's a different reaction than the first two times. It fills her with hope.
The tiare and the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou are now millimeters apart each glowing. "This is it!" She feels excitement and tries to refocus her thoughts. If she does not remained focused it will be all for nothing.
The objects are now touching each other, light glowing slowly. The crystal is starting to merge with the tiare. The crystal is a quarter of the way in when suddenly a wall is hit. A blinding flash erupts from both objects causing Sailor Moon to drop them to the ground. The crystal rolls under the couch.
"No…." Sailor Moon stares at the ground in disbelief. She was so close this time. They began to merge and then the crystal seemed to reject the tiare. It didn't make sense. She did everything she was supposed to, yet she failed.
Her body is surrounded by pink ribbons as her fuku disappears and becomes her regular clothes. She sits there stunned on the floor, unable to move for several minutes. She doesn't understand what she did wrong. "It was starting to work," she whispers.
"Why?" She asks out loud in anger. "I did everything right! I did what I was supposed to!" She rests her head in her arms on the couch next to her and sobs. She wants to scream and shout but it would draw attention from neighbors. Actions she would never be able to explain.
She sits on the floor leaned against the couch for the next ten minutes sobbing. The tears finally stop when she feels like she can't cry any more. She is angry the tears no longer fall. She slowly lifts her head up from the couch and goes to the bathroom to wash off her face. She freezes when she sees her face in the mirror. Her eyes are red from tears. She splashes cold water on her face for several minutes until she feels calmer.
She stumbles back to the living to retrieve her brooch from the floor. It doesn't look the same. It appears dull. The shine is gone. Did something happen to her brooch? Was it damaged in some way?
The crystal. She pulled it out of her brooch. It flashed brightly and she dropped it. Where is the crystal now? She frantically searches the floor of the living room. It could have rolled anywhere. How could she be so careless?
She checks under the couch and the other chairs in the area. The crystal could have rolled anywhere! She stares at the room to determine the best way to search for it. She has to check it in sections. She looks under and around the table with a lamp. Still nothing. She expands her search outward. She knows it has to be somewhere. She didn't lose the crystal.
Her anger builds up again. The Ginzuishou is one of the most important objects in her life. Wars were fought over it and she let it roll away. She can picture Luna in her head scolding her. She pushes those thoughts to the side and resumes her quest.
If only the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou combined with her tiare she wouldn't have to worry about it she thinks to herself. If the crystal and tiare did they were supposed she would be free from this prison in time. She stops searching for a moment processing her last thought. Is it really a prison? Or is she turning it into a prison?
She is over by the shelf that contains several wedding photos. She gasps. At the base of the shelf lies the crystal. Did it purposely roll over her to try to dictate what future she should choose? Impossible.
She sighs in relief when she picks up the crystal. She spends a moment inspecting the Ginzuishou to make sure it is not damaged or cracked. It appears the same as always. She delicately places the crystal over the star in her locket. The crystal vanishes into the locket. The crystal is the key to unlocking her abilities as Sailor Moon and the Moon Princess. And somehow to be the Guardian.
She is out of ideas and doesn't know what to do next. Is this really the end of the line?
Usagi enjoys the bright sun on her face. She realizes she spent too much time cooped up inside. She browses a few stores but nothing perks her interest. She has one more stop to go. She is going to pick up food to try to make dinner with Mamoru's help. She never quite got the hang of it. Maybe she would eventually improve. It is a helpful skill no matter what timeline she is a part of. She enters the supermarket and freezes when she hears the ending of a very familiar song.
Coming across the distance between us
You say I'm a friend, you say I'm a nice guy
I just don't understand
Yesterday you were so sweet to me
But now you are being held in his arms
To the distances where the moonlight doesn't reach
Oh, I want to take you away there
If we had only met earlier
All I can find is that excuse
To the distances where the moonlight doesn't reach
Oh, I want to take you away there
She stands unmoving in front of a display until the song ends. She struggles to move forward. Is this how it will always be every time she hears one of their songs? She brushes a few tears from her eyes. It has been almost a month since she battled those creatures. Where they still running around Boston? Sailor Earth might need her help. But Mamoru never met Ayumi and he never would. In a daze, she continues shopping placing items in a basket and proceeds to the checkout. On the way home she wonders how everyone is and hopes Kinmoku is close to being rebuilt. It was an amazing planet and hopes she can see it again one day. She pauses outside her apartment and blinks several times. She already walked for twenty minutes lost in thought. She opens the door and places the items on the counter.
"I was wondering where you were Usagi-chan." Luna jumps up on the counter and sniffs some of the bags. "Are you cooking dinner?"
"I'm going to start it and Mamo-chan is going to help me when he gets home. Don't look at me like that, I'm getting better."
Luna didn't response but did look like she believed Usagi either. "What are you making?"
"Chicken Udon. I have to cut up the onions, make the broth and boil the noodles." Usagi starts opening a few different cupboards until she finds some large pots. "I knew they were where somewhere."
Mamoru returns home shortly later and the rest of the evening is uneventful. He has been giving Usagi space and as suggested and she seems to be a little more relaxed. He hopes this doesn't last too much longer.
Usagi inhales a deep breath as she looks up at the Moon and stars. It's a cool evening and the perfect view.
"It's a beautiful night out," he says while wrapping his arms around her waist, he holds her close.
"Hmm," Usagi agrees. "All the stars are so bright tonight. It's so peaceful." She places her hands on top of his. She smiles and feels relaxed with him by her side. "It's nice to have some down time like this with you. I know work has been keeping you busy."
He laughs slightly. "They have been keeping me busy these past months but it has been one heck of a journey, don't you think?"
"Once in a lifetime," she agrees. "I've seen so many places I never would otherwise if it wasn't for the tour."
"I'm sure they will want us to do another tour again soon but for the next few months we have very little planned other than some post tour interviews. I plan to spend as much of that free time as I can with you." Seiya whispers and kisses her on the neck. "Even though you were on tour with me, I barely saw you. I have a lot of time to make up to you," He whispers lovely in her ear.
Usagi smiles and giggles. "You have all the time in the world." She assures him. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you Seiya." She turns around and kisses him deeply.
Usagi's eyes snap open. She sits up and looks around her surroundings. She hears breathing next to her; she turns to study the person. It is Mamoru.
She throws the blanket off of her, frustrated over the dream. For a moment she thought she was back in her previous timeline on Waikiki beach with Seiya. She quietly leaves the room to not disturb Mamoru while he slept.
She walks in the living and gently opens the balcony door. She leaves the door open a crack, she didn't want to be accidently stuck outside. She walks over to the banister and looks out at the view of the city. The sight only saddened her. Is this what would have happened if she was not here? She would be standing there with Seiya. She looks above at the sky.
She sharply intakes a breath and she sees the same sky. The position of the Moon and the stars are identical. She didn't know how it was possible. Hawaii and Japan don't have the same view of the stars.
She rests her elbows on the banister while a few silent tears roll down her face and onto her arms. She doesn't try to brush them away like earlier. It feels like the pain will never end.
Every day she is reminded on what she is missing out between her past timeline and the present one. She is missing out on time with Seiya and being able to help Sailor Earth. Here she is missing time as newlywed with her husband.
Her husband. She should be excited. If not for the other timeline she would be thrilled to able to call Mamoru her husband, it was what she always wanted until she became Sailor Cosmos. Yet she did not want to give up being Sailor Cosmos without a fight; a fight that she was currently losing and had no way of winning without a drastic change.
She looks up at the sky again and stands up. She sees a shooting star in the night sky and makes a wish. She sighs. She wishes the shooting star was actually Sailor Star Fighter but knows the odds are slim.
Usagi nearly jumps when she feels arms wrapping around her waist.
"It's okay Usa. I didn't mean to startle you."
Usagi left out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. "You just surprised me Mamo-chan. I thought you were asleep." She didn't tell him how she hoped it was Seiya behind her like the dream she just had. She has to keep her life from the other time a secret from Mamoru; it would upset him too much.
"I woke up and noticed you weren't in the bed so I went to look for you, to make sure you were okay. I was worried." He hugs her tightly. "I know you have been struggling a lot the past month and I've tried to give you as much space as possible. I'm here for you whenever you want to talk." She quiet for a moment. "Please tell me what I can do to help you Usa. I want to ease any pain you are in."
She places her arms on Mamoru's. "I'll be okay Mamo-chan." She tries to reassure him but she doesn't believe her own words. How can she be okay?
"You feel a little cold, why don't we go back inside and head to bed?"
Usagi numbly nods her head as she feels a shiver up her shine.
Mamoru drops his hands from around her waist and holds her hand, leading her back to the bedroom and holds her close. He wants to help her be rid of any worries. He wants to see his cheerful, carefree wife and would do anything he could to put her at ease.
Another beautiful sunrise. She smiles as the warmth of the sun hits her skin. Mornings like this, she can push everything else to side. For a little while, she can forget about everything that bothers her. She has a little free time before the others will arrive. They will be here shortly and another full day with resume with work. But every day they are closer to their goal.
"Fighter."
"Hmm?" Sailor Star Fighter turns around and sees Sailor Star Maker and Sailor Star Healer standing down the hallway.
"Are you ready?" Sailor Star Maker asks. "Today is going to be a little more difficult. We have a lot of hard work and you need to be focused."
"I'll be fine. I can focus on what we're doing." Sailor Star Fighter reassures her fellow senshi. She trails behind them trying to redirect her thoughts.
Sailor Star Healer sighs. "It's been five years and you still can't stop thinking about her." Her opinion on Usagi improved after she stopped Chaos but even on another planet, it is clear the feelings Fighter had for her didn't disappear. They seemed to be as strong as ever.
"I'm sure she has already moved on with her life, now that her boyfriend is back." Sailor Star Maker chimes in. She turns to look at Sailor Star Fighter.
"I'm sure she's happy," Sailor Star Fighter finally adds. "But it doesn't mean I don't miss her. I'm sure the two of you miss things about Earth. Heck, you might even miss some of the other senshi. The two of you seemed to get along pretty well toward the end with Minako-chan and Ami-chan."
Sailor Star Healer laughs loudly. "They just had school girl crushes on idols."
"If you say so…" Sailor Star Fighter shoots back, leaving her comments open for interruption. She pauses when she realizes they have reached their destination. She looks at the rubble in the city, one of the last sections that still needs to be cleared out. Their powers make it easier to break up the rumble for workers to clear it away. She couldn't wait for the reconstruction to be completed but there were so many other locations throughout the planet which also needed help that would still take years to complete. After reconstruction ends she wonders what would be next for her. She can't help but wonder if she would ever be able to return to Earth and see Tsukino Usagi. But so much time has passed.
While she works she can't help but wonder how things could have been different if only she had met Usagi sooner, before she ever met Mamoru. Would Seiya have stood a chance? She takes a deep breath. She has asked herself these questions too many times to count and each time she knows she will never have the answer to this question.
Usagi waits for Makoto to pick up the phone. It rings several times before she hears a familiar greeting. "Hi Mako-chan! It's great to talk to you. It's been a while."
"Hi Usagi-chan." Makoto greets while trying to suppress a yawn. "Sorry, it's been a long day. We were learning how to make Beef Wellington today. It's a very time consuming French dish. I think you and Mamoru-san would enjoy it." She tries not to yawn again but another one escapes.
"I'm sorry to call you when you are so tired Mako-chan," Usagi apologizes. She underestimated the difficulty of Makoto's school.
"It's okay Usagi-chan," Makoto reassures her. "I should have returned your call sooner." She apologies. "I hope you're doing well. The wedding was wonderful."
"Yeah." Usagi half-heartedly agrees. She assumes the last time she spoke with Makoto was at her wedding. "How is school?"
"I'm learning a lot. I'm really enjoying Kobe. But I think I want to move back to Tokyo after school. I miss everyone and there would be more opportunities in Tokyo even though the competition will be difficult."
"You're amazing Mako-chan and I know where ever you decide to open your business you will be fantastic!" Usagi pictures constantly eating in Makoto's restaurant and being surrounded by sweets. She smiles.
"Thank you Usagi-chan. You're the most supportive person I know." Makoto looks at her calendar and the graduation date marked for next year. "I would like to have everyone come to my graduation in April."
"We wouldn't miss it for the world Mako-chan!" Usagi exclaims. They talk for a little while longer before Makoto needs to hang up to sleep and return to school again early the next morning.
Usagi stares at the phone in her hand. She is excited about the thought of seeing Makoto graduate but would she still be in this timeline to see it? If she doesn't come up with something soon, it would no longer be an issue. She sighs and sits back down but she is running out of options.
She knows the power is within her but it is buried deep inside. Or at least, she believes the ability is still there. A knot forms in her stomach. But if those powers never existed in this timeline all together is that why she is unable to become Sailor Cosmos here. Is it possible?
No she argues with herself. There was to be a way. She was reborn twice with those powers. First as Princess Serenity, then as Tsukino Usagi. As if she was meant to have this power regardless of which lifetime she was in. She was destined to have the abilities of Sailor Cosmos. The only question is if she was destined to reawaken them one more time.
If the powers awakened during the Silver Millennium she could have saved everyone. Her kingdom never would have been destroyed. Mamoru would still have his entire family. Her mother would not have sacrificed her life. But… if the Silver Millennium was never destroyed, she never would have met her Earth family. She never would have met Seiya. She didn't like the idea of what had to happen in her past to lead to the future she wanted.
"You're taking too long. The window is closing soon before it will too late to return. I'm sure you've noticed you can barely speak Lunarian anymore."
Usagi sighs. She looked up from the couch to see Sailor Cosmos. "I've tried to merge the crystal and tiare but each time the crystal rejects it. I'm not sure what I am doing wrong and what else I can try."
"If that method doesn't work it looks like you have to come with another one." Sailor Cosmos rolled her eyes at Usagi.
"Enough. Usagi is where she is meant to be." Princess Serenity appears on the other side of the living room.
Usagi's eyebrow raises; another battle between her two former selves is about to take place. She studies Princess Serenity for a moment before she speaks. "It's you. Isn't it? Somehow you are making the crystal reject the tiare."
"Me?" Princess Serenity innocently points to herself. She looks over at Sailor Cosmos for a moment. "I'll take my leave for now and speak with you again later, when you are not so busy." She vanishes leaving Sailor Cosmos alone with Usagi.
"Hmph. That is an admission if I ever heard one." Sailor Cosmos tightens the grip on her staff. "She is more difficult than I thought. So stubborn."
"She did follow Endymion into death. She will do anything for him." Usagi comments out loud.
"Would you do the same for Mamo-chan?"
Usagi lowers her eyes, unable to meet the hard glare of Sailor Cosmos.
Princess Serenity is not going to give up without a fight. She realizes everything that is at stake. Usagi's time is running out, is she getting ready to accept her future? To be continued on Wednesday, October 5th in Act 48: Grasping for the Blue Sky