Chapter 3! Please give me your reviews I love your feedback and I want to know your thoughts on the story
The warm sun danced lightly on their skin as Derek's fingers drew figures on Meredith's arm. She couldn't make out what he was drawing but Derek seemed lost in thought as he focused, his eyes never leaving her arms and his fingers never ceasing to draw. Meredith was more than content lying in his arms, allowing a comfortable silence to overtake them. They had been like that for a while, just basking together in their own bubble where nothing existed but the two of them. They spent many days like this, no agenda, no errands, no busy schedules just the two of them finding comfort and happiness in the other. Besides Michael Shepherd, no one knew of the secret the two of them shared. Derek refused to speak with Mark about it, but he knew Mark knew even if he never really said anything. He didn't care who knew honestly, but he did know that Meredith cared very much, and he was willing to do whatever it was that made her happy and at peace.
After several moments passed with the silence and the drawing, Derek seemed to snap out of his daze and startled her by bringing her in for a kiss.
"Hi" Derek told her earnestly grinning against her lips that were slightly pulled back from his after a passionate kiss.
"Hi" she repeated with a giggle before pulling his mouth back to hers. His hands wrapped around her waist, and he maneuvered her until she was on top of him. He used his hands to push her hair back from her face as he couldn't help the grin that overtook him from her kisses.
This summer felt like a window down as you drive around on a 75-degree day, strawberry icecream on sunburnt lips when it's near boiling outside and freshly cut grass and there wasn't a better person, he could think to spend it with.
"You're beautiful" he murmured against her shoulder as he left a light kiss against it. Meredith smiled in reply. He wore a white linen button down that was unbuttoned to reveal just a bit of chest hair and a pair of khaki's that were rolled up to his ankles. Meredith was clad in a white strapless eyelet dress that gave him easy access to her.
Her hands played with the dandelions splayed out on the grassy hill they were currently occupying. The entire hill was covered in them, and she couldn't stop herself from relishing in how peaceful it felt to just play as if she was a child experiencing something so beautiful yet so simple for the first time.
"There is nothing to do around this town" she told him lightly. It's not that she was complaining, just stating a fact. She was now acclimated to living in NYC and even though that still didn't feel 100% like home, she couldn't help but draw comparisons between her life running all over campus and enjoying nights out in one of the liveliest cities in the world to here in this little suburb with Derek.
"True but there's nothing I want to do except this." He replied moving to kiss her neck a few several times. If Meredith was honest, there was nothing she'd rather do either.
She giggled at the contact, and he smiled even harder.
"As much as I like this, it'll be the third time today" she told him looking longingly into his eyes. They went at it like rabbits, and she was sore after weeks of constant sex. They just couldn't get enough but she knew that they needed to pace themselves at least a little.
"Are you complaining?" he asked huskily as his hands roamed her body as she sat idly on top of him.
"No. I happen to enjoy our little meetups. I just….. need a break." She mentioned her eyes still wondering to the thousands of dandelions that occupied the field, a small smile tugging on her lips.
"Then we'll take a break." He told her sitting up and moving her to sit on top of his lap, his hands holding onto her bottom. Her eyes caught his and he felt himself mesmerized once again by the green in her eyes that somehow held a golden glow in the sunlight.
"How would we even tell Amy about…. this." Meredith asked him unsure watching his face for any level of jest or reserve. She was opening a door, taking a step, allowing a small slice of vulnerability into their usually playful relationship.
"I think we would have to define it first." He answered after a moment. There was no jest or lack of sincerity today. Today, his guard was down and so was hers by association.
"Do you want to define it?" she asked him sucking in a breath. She was nervous about his answer. Her eyes searched his and she saw that there was still something he was holding back, an emotion or a thought. Something that said, there's an object in the way and I can't fully open the door.
"If that's what you want." He replied without missing a beat smiling softly at her taking in the sight of this confused beautiful girl sitting on his lap wanting to give him everything.
"It is Derek" she told him softly looking down and playing with the buttons on his shirt. Her lean fingers unbuttoning and then re-buttoning one of the buttons he left undone and avoiding eye contact because there was a shy side to her that he was learning.
"What do you want me to be to you?" he asked softly watching her eyes and her lips when she finally looked up.
"I don't know, I thought you would tell me. I've never really done this before." She told him as he adjusted her on his lap.
"You're the one that brought this up." he jabbed at her and she pulled back slightly. It was so easy to fall back into their mutual frustration with eachother, back to the jabs and the underhanded comments. Derek didn't know what possessed him to quickly turn on her, it was almost like second nature sometimes.
"Never mind, I don't want to define it anymore. We can just keep it from Amy. It's not like it's really anything anyways." Meredith chimed, a haughtiness to her voice wanting to sting him. They both knew this was something that kept getting in the way of what their relationship could blossom into.
"Fine, keep secrets from your best friend." Derek challenged looking at her expectantly. He was expecting a verbal jarring, he liked it and Meredith knew it.
Meredith scoffed "She's not just my best friend, she's also YOUR sister." She argued.
"She is my sister and you're my…" he trailed off thinking of the word. His brows furrowed in a frustrated bit, trying to figure out the right word. She wasn't his girlfriend although the idea felt welcoming to his brain. He wouldn't be telling her that though. There was no way he was willing to break first even if she just tried to take a step to get there.
She watched him intensely, waiting for him to find the word not daring to offer him any sort of out.
After a minute she couldn't help herself and busted out laughing throwing her head back. Derek grinned and caught her face bringing her in for yet another quick kiss. Like moths to a flame.
"I'm sorry I was being an ass; we can define this whatever way you want." He told her genuinely as he pushed a piece of her golden locks behind her ear.
Meredith looked deeply into his eyes "Hmmmm, I think I'm good. I don't want a man child boyfriend." Meredith told him with a mischievous look in her eye.
"Oh, I'm a man child now?" Derek asked with an eyebrow raised
"Yup, and I'm bored. Take me back home." Meredith told him attempting to move off his lap, but he pulled her back to him and kissed her deeply. Meredith returned the kiss both deepening it.
They had taken a step forward today and then a step back. If he wouldn't have made the jest comment that she was the one that wanted this defined, implying that he didn't, he might be able to call her his girlfriend now. However, the thought terrified him. It wasn't the settling down with one woman part, he felt that at some point, he would have to grow up and do that anyways. It was more of what Meredith Grey meant to him. He didn't want to screw up and hurt her. He didn't know if they could handle long distance and he wanted his options open when the end of med school came. His mind and heart were open to every and any opportunity available. He didn't want to be limited to working at Mass Gen or a hospital near where Meredith went to med school. They were just in two different places in their life and both of their lives would change drastically in the next year. These feelings he had for her, he wanted to push them away for as long as he could and then out of nowhere, two weeks into his last summer break back home, his resolve ended and he kissed her and then fucked her and then felt things, he couldn't even dream possible. The word for this was right on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't go there. He was in denial and school was hard enough. This summer he just wanted to enjoy the freedom of doing what he wanted and spending time with someone that meant a great deal to him without having to define or categorize something that he already knew was much more powerful than either of them would care to admit. Meredith seemed like maybe she wanted more but the possibility also scared her, and he understood that completely. So instead of taking the full step forehead, they took a mini step and then immediately a step back. Atleast for today, they would remain unlabeled, and he hoped that she was okay with that.
Later that day Meredith found herself walking over to the Shephard's house. Something she had done a million times before. Amy had texted her that morning about throwing a pool party while the Shepard parents were out of town on their annual anniversary trip. Meredith figured she would head over early and spend some time with her best friend before the party started as she was starting to feel bad with just how much time Derek was taking. Derek was still a mystery to her, and she felt a bit knocked down from the step forward she tried to take with him. Meredith didn't dwell too much on what she felt for Derek, but she did know that she felt more for him than any other man she had ever been with. There was the word in the back of her mind, but she wasn't ready to admit that to herself yet. It would be too disappointing if Derek couldn't get there as well. All she knew was that this was the best summer she had ever had. It was even better than backpacking around Europe and she wanted Derek to feel for her just how deeply she felt for him. Tonight though, she wanted to put those feelings aside and have a good time with her best friend.
When she opened the door to the Shepherd house, she was surprised to see Amy, Amy's boyfriend, Finn the guy she casually dated a previous summer, and several other friends already there grouped together by Amy's kitchen table.
"Finallllllllly" Amy sang when she saw her best friend enter the house, wrapping her arm around Meredith's and pulling her to sit in the chair next to her.
"Mer has been AWOL all summer." Amy groaned which caused Meredith to blush slightly. She was not expecting the crowd and especially not expecting the guy she had fooled around with a couple of summers ago to be there.
"I have not been awol, just…. Busy." Meredith chimed sitting down and saying a few hello's to the group that had assembled.
Amy rolled her eyes "Whatever, you're here now which is all that matters. We can finally start this party." Amy informed her as Meredith finally took notice of all the alcohol on the Shepherd's kitchen table and the slight slur in Amy's voice letting her know that her friend had been drinking for a while. Drunk Amy could go one of two ways, either she was the most fun person in the world, and they had a blast, or her dark side came to light and it was midnight black when Amy went dark on her.
"Cool" Meredith replied absentmindedly as people began making mixed drinks and talking. As the night went on, the friends stripped down to their bathing suits and games and fun ensued. If Meredith was honest, she was enjoying herself and it was nice to do something her and Amy always did together which was throw a party when Amy's parents took their trip. Her and Amelia laughed and danced and played games and it felt like old times. After taking a dip in the pool, Meredith dried off and headed inside to grab a beer from the fridge. She wanted to take it easy as her stomach had been a bit upset today and hard liquor just didn't feel like it would sit well.
When she reached for the cold beer inside the fridge, she felt a presence behind her and could tell instantly who it was.
"Will you grab me one too?" She heard the voice ask huskily. She shivered. He was so close behind her that she was sure if she turned around their bodies would be touching. There was a noise and a bunch a people came in laughing and Derek moved further away from her.
"Derek go away. We don't want to hang out with you." Amelia told her brother with an eyeroll as she walked into the house on her way to mix a drink. He always seemed to be showing up anytime she was with her friends, and it was starting to annoy her.
"Now I'm definitely staying." Derek chimed in sarcastically holding back a gleeful laugh as Meredith felt his eyes on her backside. She was down to just her bikini from swimming in the pool, not that he hadn't seen it all before, but she suddenly felt naked.
Meredith handed him a beer without making eye contact and used their beer opener in the drawer next to the fridge to pop her bottle open. She took a swig before handing him the tool. She shivered at the contact their hands made and the way their gazes held each other when she passed over the tool. He was looking at her softly and she wondered if he felt bad about how he was earlier in the day when it was just the two of them laying in the dandelion field.
Amelia chose to ignore her brother but picked up slightly on the eye contact her brother and Meredith seemed to be holding. It was as if they were in their own world with their own language and they were communicating something that no one else in that room would understand.
"So, Mer, you've barely gotten the chance to hang out with me and Matt. I want you to get to know him tonight" Amelia told her friend attempting to break whatever was going on between her brother and Meredith quickly. She didn't need Derek scaring off her best friend with his man whore tendencies, sarcastic humor and she really didn't want to hear them quarrel all night long when this was her party that she always looked forward to.
"I know Matt." Meredith replied casually. They did go to school together for years and although Meredith didn't know him on an intimate level, she was somewhat familiar with the guy and thought overall he was fine.
"We had that one class together" Matt chimed in shrugging as he took a swig pulling Amelia closer to him. He must have come in at some point to find Amelia when Meredith's gaze was tied up in Derek.
"That was forever ago. Meredith what are you up to everyday, it's never been like this." Amelia groaned looking at her friend squarely. Amelia was not backing down from Meredith's absence and it looked like new boyfriend or not to occupy her, Amelia was missing her time with her best friend.
Meredith looked away "Just stuff with my mom" Meredith attempted.
"I'm not buying that. Ellis is chained to that hospital. What are you really doing?" Amelia countered looking her friend over.
"Amy, lay off." Derek quickly intervened looking at Meredith out of the corner of his eye. He might tease her, but she looked uneasy, and he didn't like seeing her like that especially when he was the cause of her absence.
"Since when have you two called a truce?" Amy asked eyeing them suspiciously with her hands on her hips.
"Maybe since they realized they were acting like children." Finn butted in as he mixed a drink. Meredith rolled her eyes internally. He was always butting in where he wasn't wanted. It was part of the reason they broke up. Derek looked the guy up and down; he didn't like Finn since the summer he caught wind that Finn and Meredith had a fling. The few times Derek was in his presence, he made sure to gloat about going to Harvard and looked for ways to one-up him.
"We'll never call a truce." Derek intervened sizing up Finn and giving Meredith a sideways glance.
"Real mature Der Bear. You're 25 years old and are in a pissing contest with your baby sister's best friend." Amy chimed causing Finn to snicker.
Meredith's mood was turning sour quick. Everyone was annoying her, and she just wanted to be out of the center of attention. That was usually Amy's spot and she preferred it that way.
"Stop complaining you're not getting enough time with me and just spend time with me. I've been here all night." Meredith told her friend and Amy shrugged and nodded letting Meredith know that she was done complaining about their lack of time spent and they could carry on with the night.
Meredith made it a point to have fun with Amy for the rest of the night. They stuck by each other's side and Derek even backed off enough to let them be together without him as a distraction. He felt like a creep, but his bedroom window overlooked the pool and he watched Meredith having a blast. It was a warm night, and her bikini was skimpy at best. He saw the way that guys would look at her, especially Finn and it made his blood boil. He also knew that Meredith and he spent too much time together for Finn to even get an ounce of time with her during the day and she seemed equally annoyed with Finn's presence as he did. Plus, she didn't belong to him. She was her own person and as much as it would destroy him if she did, she had every right to explore any connection she had with anyone else. After a while, he left the house to hang out with Mark and their good friend Owen. Mark and Derek were the closest, but Owen was a good pal too and they had all been close since high school.
When he wasn't with Meredith, Derek spent a lot of his time with his two friends, and he always enjoyed their company especially on a night like tonight where he needed to get a girl off his mind.
Late into the night, when he was sure the party was over, Derek headed home exhausted. He wasn't expecting to see Meredith Grey up reading a book on his parent's couch when he entered the house, but he couldn't say he wasn't excited at the sight of her. He hated to admit he missed her when they weren't together.
"Hey" he greeted her softly taking in her appearance. She was back to wearing the dress she had on earlier and her skin was so tanned from all the time in the sun. Her hair was wavy from the pool and mostly dry and she looked beautiful make up free.
"Hi" she replied putting a bookmark in her book and setting it aside and dedicating her full attention to him.
He took a seat on the couch beside her and glanced at his watch "It's late" he told her with a small smile.
"I was going to give you another 10 minutes and then leave." She told him honestly.
"So, you've been waiting for me." He inserted watching her. Every atom in his body was screaming to get closer to her but he was trying to be respectful.
"I did." She confirmed.
He waited patiently for her to say more.
"Tomorrow's the summer fest" she stated. Every year their small town threw a massive summer festival that included everything from a built-out fair with rides and Ferris wheels to a watermelon eating contest, games, cotton candy and live music from local bands. Amy and Meredith went every year together with friends and had a blast. For several years, Carolyn and Michael Shephard joined the girls and forced Mark and Derek to tag along. Last year, Derek took his fling of the moment and made out with her on the Ferris Wheel. It was big event in their town, and he always looked forward to it.
He looked at her to continue.
"I want you to take me." She told him simply and watched his face waiting for him to say something.
"I can take you." He told her with a smile.
"I want to ride the Ferris Wheel and win a huge prize from that can game and eat crap all day and listen to the music and I… I want to be with you and don't be annoying about it and don't make a snide remark because I have options you know. I could go with anyone, but I want to go with you." She rambled and he grinned at her evenly.
Derek shrugged "Fine, I'll take you." He told her with a large smile. She was cute and endearing and she wanted to experience the only fun summer event this town had to offer with him.
"Fine" Meredith agreed with a smile of her own.
"What about Amy? Isn't that something you two always do together?" he asked
"I want to go with you." Meredith told him seriously repeating for what felt like the 100th time in her brain that he is who she wanted to be with tomorrow.
"Okay, it's a date then. I'll take you."
"Okay." She repeated.
Derek stood up from the couch and walked over to the staircase leading up to his bedroom.
He turned around and looked back at Meredith "I want you to spend the night with me. Do you want to do that?" he asked her hopeful.
"I told you, I want a break from all the sex. Make you miss me a little or whatever." She added.
Derek walked back over to her and smiled leaning over her before pushing the hair that always landed in her face behind her ears "Meredith, I just want to hold you tonight. Is that okay?" he asked her softly and she felt the breath leave her body.
She nodded and took his hand and he led her up the stairs quietly to his bedroom where he spent the entire night wrapped in this feisty, endearing, frustrating and beautiful girl that he was falling for as much as he didn't want to admit it to himself.
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