Mark wanted a bone-dry cappuccino, and I was delivering. We both had early mornings again and he helped me out last time I had to be at the hospital at 5am. We were in our last year as residents and still had so much to prove, almost more so than when we started as interns. We had to prove that we were capable of being real surgeons now, able to operate on our own with positive outcomes and able to move on to our fellowships with the knowledge that we belong in our chosen field of specialty. Mark and I had been applying to fellowship programs all over the country. It was a good feeling knowing that a new adventure was at my fingertips although I did come to love Seattle. It was the Ferry Boats and the nature and the dream I had of buying a huge plot of land out here and building a house. One day, not anytime soon, I wanted the whole package, the white picket fence, the loving wife, and the adorable kids to come home to and maybe even a dog or two. I had just turned thirty-one and that seemed to put things into perspective. My parents were dying for me to move back out East, and maybe I would be able to eventually if the right opportunity presented itself, but Seattle had become my safe haven and I didn't see myself settling anywhere but here. Mark and I had a great group of friends that we met as interns all together. A part of me was sad at the thought that the people I had spent the last four years with would all be at different hospitals come this time next year, but it was a part of life. I had learned the hard way that loss was inevitable. I checked my watch to see that it was 5:15am, in another 15 minutes, I needed to have my interns up and rounding on our patients for the day and I had a few solo procedures scheduled. It was going to be a good day. There was something in the air today, a different energy and I felt it.

"Your Cappuccino" I told Mark as I approached the board where he was standing staring at the tasks for the day ahead. It was a full board; the Chief would be happy. He loved days like today.

"She won't leave my house." Mark told me in a low grumble as he reached for his coffee. Instantly he brought the to-go cup to his lips and his whole body seemed to relax at the sip.

"Who, Sara?" I asked amused and I sipped my own coffee, black with two tablespoons of cream. Mark had been seeing a peds nurse named Sara for about four months now. He had never done the whole relationship thing before, but Sara was great, maybe a little needy but her and Mark seemed to have the same sense of humor and it had lasted this long for a reason.

"She's there 24/7, eating my food, decorating my couch with throw pillows, she even wants us to go pick out a patio set for the backyard this weekend." Mark continued.

"That's good. It's called commitment." I told him in a gloating voice. I loved seeing how uneasy Mark was about getting serious with someone and the look on his face made me laugh.

"That's good? She's turning me into someone I'm not and don't ever want to be." He continued but I knew he loved it. Sara was making a decent man out of Mark, and it had been a long time coming, not that I had any legs to stand on in the department of decency. I had done my fair share of indecent things in my life that I had come to regret.

"Embrace it Mark, your life is changing for the better." I told him with a smile.

"Why are you so chipper today? Did you finally get laid or something?" he grumbled. I knew he wasn't really aggravated with me, it was the way our relationship worked half the time, but usually I was the grumpy one.

I rolled my eyes and laughed "Who says the word chipper anymore?" I asked him.

He cocked his head to the side "It's 5:30 in the morning and you're smiling, fetching me coffee like an idiot intern and saying things like 'commitment is good'"

"It is good. For you, at least. Can't I just be happy for my friend?" I played with a shit-eating grin on my face reserved for Mark Sloan.

"You're not happy for me, you're gloating. You're loving the fact that Sara is needy and wearing me down."

I laughed loudly "Ah, you're right!" I assured him. Seeing Mark so far outside of his comfort zone was one of the best gifts to ever receive. That man had never had an awkward or uneasy moment in his life and his usual charm was waning.

"I have a skin graft to get to." He told me grumpily. Mark was never a morning person.

"You're welcome for the coffee this morning." I called after him as he walked off.

He responded by holding up his middle finger and I laughed again. This morning was off to a good start.

My interns were waiting for me by the nurse's station.

"Good morning." I told them evenly. You couldn't be too nice to the interns, or they would walk all over you. You couldn't be too mean either, well actually you could. They were interns and I definitely had my days where I berated them all day long and actually got a level of satisfaction out of it. It was just the food chain at the hospital. We all had been there at some point or another.

I heard an echo of 'Good morning, Dr. Shepherds' and I smiled internally at how eager they all were to please. This new batch had just started in June and had been sucking up, fucking up and driving me nuts for nearly 3 months now. I was starting to get used to them though and they weren't all bad. I hadn't stooped to the level of making them get my coffee yet like Mark had, so I figured that had to mean something.

"We have a busy day ahead of us. I expect you all to be on top of everything, all day. I don't want to hear excuses and I especially don't want to hear that my residents are screwing up. Am I understood?" I asked sharply.

The interns seemed to master agreeing with me in unison as there was a catalogue of voices all saying yes in their usual suck-up way.

"Good. Let's go." I told them leading the way to our first patients' room, I had charts in my hand and my pager clipped to my scrub pants. I felt good.

Rounds finished easily, and I checked the board again to make sure my upcoming surgery hadn't been moved. I was doing a craniotomy on a patient who had a benign tumor growing on their temporal lobe. It was textbook, but I still felt the excitement of another solo surgery. My mentor and the head of the department, Dr. Peterson would be observing but likely wouldn't be interfering in anyway. I felt the most me I had been in years when I was scrubbed in, and I jumped at any and every opportunity I could find. It was a feeling I had lost and longed for and in the OR I found it.

"Morning Derek" The chief, Richard Webber acknowledged as I made my way beside him to look at the board he had been eyeing.

"Morning Chief." I said chipperly. Richard Webber took a chance on me five years ago. He had confusion about me dropping my rotations at Mass General to do them at a smaller hospital in California during my last year of Med School. He couldn't understand how a med-student attending Harvard would end up doing rotations at a far less than prestigious institution like I did on the opposite coast. It took a grueling interview and him seeing the pain that I didn't like to talk about to let me in. He asked why I didn't explain this all in my letter to the hospital, and I stared at him blankly. In that moment, he nodded his head and said, 'Welcome to the game'. He'd been like a mentor to me in a way ever since.

"I see you have a solo surgery here in the next hour." He told me checking his watch. I could tell that he was proud, even if he'd never say it. I think he always saw me as the underdog that I never was.

"I do sir." I nodded.

"Have you given anymore thought to the neuro fellowship program that we discussed last month?" He asked.

"I have, I'm going to weigh my options, but you know Seattle Grace is a front-runner for me. I appreciate everything you've done for me Chief" I assured him. A fellowship at Seattle Grace was an excellent opportunity, but I wasn't ready to fully commit yet.

"Well, I like to hear that, but our fellowship is competitive, and I like to know my staff sooner rather than later. I run things my way and this hospital is one of the top in the country for that very reason" He told me. Richard was no nonsense. No matter what, the hospital always came first. It came above personal preferences or relationships, and above him wanting what was best for me. What mattered most was what was best for this hospital, and I knew that. I respected it too; it was what made him a great Chief.

"I understand." I replied not knowing what else I wanted to say. I didn't want to make promises that I couldn't keep, and I didn't want to let him down.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. We have a few new med school students doing their clinicals here until December. There's one in particular that I'm introducing to my most promising residents. She'll be starting her neuro rotation today. Peterson will mostly be working with her, but she may scrub in with you a time or two during her 6 weeks. She's a family friend, and I take her education very seriously, so I expect you'll help look out for her and teach her." Richard told me, he wasn't harsh about it but firm. If Richard saw something in someone, he already began to the recruit early. This girl would be no exception I could tell.

"Yeah, of course. I'm happy to help anyway that I can" I told him. It wasn't exactly the truth. The interns were bad enough, the med students were even worse.

"She's a very special and very gifted future surgeon. She's overcome a lot, she's tough. She'll be an intern here at Seattle Grace next year." The chief continued

"Isn't it a little early for that? She couldn't have even submitted her application yet." I commented.

"She'll be applying to Seattle Grace, her situation is….. delicate. Your only concern is to help her." Richard continued.

"I will" I told him and to some degree I meant it. Out of respect for Richard and all he's done for me; I figured I could throw this girl a bone or two in the OR and give her some pointers.

"Good. You're free at lunch according to my board, I'll introduce you in the cafeteria, noon." The chief stated and it wasn't a question. I rolled my eyes internally. It was the last thing I wanted to do today.

"Yes chief, I'll see you then." I told him.

"Good man, don't be late." He told me as he shuffled off to put out some fire I was sure of.

Meredith's POV

"Good morning, ladies" Susan said as she walked into the kitchen. She was dressed in a formal blouse and black dress pants. She had her laptop purse already across her shoulder looking like she was on her way out.

My daughter and I were sitting at the barstools on my dad and Susan's island in their kitchen having breakfast.

"Hi Nana!" my daughter sang as she took a spoonful of cheerios and brought it to her mouth. My child was a morning person through and through and it was adorable and annoying all at once. Susan beamed at her.

"Make sure you eat every bite sweetie; we need you to keep growing big and strong." Susan told her sweetly.

I smiled at their relationship. I was truly thankful for it.

My daughter nodded her head enthusiastically and Susan grinned at her.

"Meredith, what time do you need to be at the hospital?" Susan asked and she moved across the kitchen getting her lunch ready and making sure she had everything in order.

"Not until 10 am today, starting tomorrow, I have to be there at 9." I replied enjoying my own bowl of cereal. I caught a glimpse of my daughter who was watching our interaction intently. She was an observant one.

"Okay, well my offer still stands, I can take the little princess to pre-school on my way into work if it makes it easier for you." Susan offered for the thousandth time.

"I know and I appreciate it, but I have it under control." I told my stepmother. I did appreciate her offer but drop off was a part of our routine and I wasn't ready to let go of that yet. Next year, would be a different story. I wasn't looking forward to our routine changing that much but I knew it was the next step and I had to do it to provide the life for my child that I wanted to.

"Okay" she told me with an understanding smile. I could tell she got where I was coming from.

My daughter rambled while I sipped my cup of coffee and Susan moved to pour coffee into her to-go mug. Susan was a college professor who taught World History. She loved it and was passionate about education and the work that she did.

"Did you make it today or did your father?" she asked.

"I did, he's out back with the blueberries." I told Susan with a smirk.

"Thank God." She responded. Everyone knew my dad sucked at making coffee and mine always turned out the best. I could thank motherhood during med school for that skill.

My dad's house was on about 2 acres and every summer since I moved in with them, dad would pick blueberries in the morning. They had massive amounts of blueberry bushes and it was a real source of pride for him and Susan. My dad would pick thousands of them daily and then sell them at the local farmer's market for fun. They didn't need the money and dad was retired, but it kept his mind busy, and he enjoyed spending hours out in the sun, picking buckets upon buckets of blueberries. Sometimes, I would go help him and my daughter was just starting to get into too.

I grinned at Susan.

My daughter emptied her bowl of cereal and drank the remaining milk from the bowl "Mommy, I'm all done!" she exclaimed

"Good job bean, I have to fix your hair and then we'll go." I told her affectionately as I caressed her cheek. She had her father's thick curly hair and my dirty blonde coloring. It was wild in the morning, and I had learned overtime the right hair product to tame it. I figured if her dad was involved, it was something he could have taught me, but that wasn't the case.

She jumped off the bar stool and her tutu swirled. She was going through a massive unicorn phase. Everything was unicorns and pink and glitter. I had no idea where she got that from, maybe my sister Lexi. I had never been very girly.

Susan laughed "She's so cute that I can't stand it sometimes." She told me as I watched my daughter run off to bring me a comb and whatever hair clips, she wanted today.

"I know what you mean." I told her sheepishly as I stared off after the little girl who mended my broken heart four and half years ago.

"I can't believe that she'll start kindergarten next year" Susan sighed

"It's going fast." I told her quietly. Too fast, and I wasn't prepared for it if I was honest with myself.

"Sweetie, come give nana a hug goodbye" Susan called, and my daughter came bustling in and landed in her arms with a giggle. Susan gave her a big kiss on the head and wished her a fun day at pre-school. Susan and I said our goodbyes as well and I fixed my little girl's hair and loaded her up in my jeep. Time to go.

I finally got through the pre-school drop off and made it to the hospital. The first order of business was meeting with the Chief. He said when I was younger, I used to run around these halls, but I had no real memory of that, so I just offered a smile. He seemed awkward around me but told me that he was very excited to eventually have me as part of their program. There was no question, that barring I passed this last year of medical school that I would become a surgical resident at Seattle Grace. The truth was, I needed the support of my family too much. My daughter would start kindergarten and I needed my dad and Susan for the days that I would practically be living here. There's no way that I would have been able to become a surgeon without them. When I showed up, 5 months pregnant and with nowhere else to go, my dad fought for me. He fought Columbia to let me finish my undergrad online, he fought to keep me on track with medical school, him and Susan helped me every way that they could once my daughter was born. I owed them a lot then again; my dad owed me a lot too. I wasn't resentful about staying in Seattle. I loved it here a lot. I was born here and that made me feel like I had a true sense of home, plus my daughter was thriving here. She was a happy child, who loved life, she had so much energy and so much passion for the things that mattered to her.

I thanked the Chief for the opportunity, and he let me know that he would introduce me to the hospitals most promising neuro resident at lunch. Apparently, he wanted this doctor to essentially be a mentor to me. I thanked him again and went to find the resident program coordinator, she was supposed to give me my schedule and outline for the next 6-weeks.

I wrapped up with her and did onboarding into the neurosurgery program. There were long write ups about Seattle Grace's approach to neuroscience and how they were known for taking on some of the most risky and dangerous procedures. There were tons and tons of case studies of people with nearly impossible conditions, that were saved thanks to the doctors at Seattle Grace. There was a page full of photos of the Chief and each of the neuro attendings at the hospital. It seemed like a great program, and I was thinking I would end up leaning neuro in the long run. My aunt had passed of early on-set Alzheimer's and since that, neuro had always piqued my interest.

I wandered the halls hoping for some sort of memory to come over me. I was just a little older than my daughter when my mom moved me to Boston. It made me feel sad thinking she wouldn't remember some of our recent adventures if I wasn't able to remember my memories here. I wanted to ask my dad about it but knew that these halls probably held some pretty unpleasant memories as him and my mom split up quickly after.

After a while, I checked my watch and realized that I needed to meet the Chief in the cafeteria in less than five minutes, so I quickened my pace and hoped I was going the right way. Orientation didn't include a tour of the hospital.

I made it to the cafeteria at 12:02, I hoped the Chief wasn't too much of a time guy as I had college professors that freaked if you were even 1 minute late to their class. He was waiting for me, and I sucked in a breath.

"Meredith" he called and waved me over. I smiled and walked to him.

"Great, you were able to get scrubs!" He commented.

"Yeah, I'm doing rounds with Dr. Peterson this afternoon." I told him looking down at my light blue scrubs. I felt great in them.

"Excellent! How did orientation go? Not too much information? "

"It was good. Maybe you could start including a tour of the hospital? I got a little lost." I told him.

"A tour, yes that's great feedback." He told me.

I nodded. It was a bit awkward.

"Oh, here he is." Dr. Webber exclaimed and I turned around to be face to face with none other than Derek freaking Shepherd. His eyes visibly widened, and I felt my entire mouth go dry. What on earth was he doing here?

"Meredith, this is our neuro resident that I was telling you about this morning, Dr. Derek Shepherd. We're hoping he'll continue as a neuro fellow with us next year, but for now he's one of our best residents. Derek, this is Meredith Grey. I've known her mother for many years. She's going to be the intern to beat next year when she joins our residency program." Richard continued.

I stared at Derek blankly and he seemed to do the same to me. I have no idea how long we were staring at each other in silence, but Richard coughed and that seemed to bring us both out of a daze.

"Uh… nice to meet you." Derek told me holding out his hand to me.

I took it and it was like electricity went off "You too" I replied and quickly pulled my hand away.

"Great, well I have a few administrative tasks to get through, I'll leave you two to lunch. Derek take her to Dr. Peterson's office when you're done." Richard told us and checked his pager as he walked off.

We both watched the Chief leave and when he was out of view, I bolted. I quickly walked out of the cafeteria, through the front doors and out through the front courtyard. I needed to catch my breath. Derek was here.

Derek's POV

I watched her bolt from the cafeteria and still my mind had a hard time registering that Meredith Grey was here. She was in Seattle. She was wearing scrubs and was apparently in her last year of medical school. She would be here for 6 weeks for a neuro rotation. After a moment of standing awkwardly in the cafeteria staring out at the exit where Meredith had run out to, I decided that I would follow her. I wasn't sure which way she went but knowing the her that I knew from five years ago, I figured she might have left. I not so calmly walked out of the front doors of the hospital and surveyed the front gardens. My mind combed through countless people in search of the bewitching blonde that I had been in love with at one point. After a moment, I saw her sitting on a bench staring straight ahead.

"Hi" I breathed, and she looked up at me. Her eyes didn't hold much emotion, mostly just a bit of shock.

"Hi" she replied.

I didn't know what else to say. I hadn't planned that far ahead yet. It was awkward to say the least, I never thought I would see her again.

"Do you mind if I sit?" I asked gesturing to the bench she was on. She looked up at me and her eyes held an expression that I couldn't describe. It wasn't a friendly one and I can't say that I blamed her.

"Sure" she said.

I looked up at the sky and storm clouds were forming. "I think it's going to rain" I told her lamely and she looked up.

"I'm not transferring programs because of you." She told me bluntly, her eyes locking with mine. There was a fire raging behind them.

"No, I wouldn't ask you to do that." I told her and it was the truth. I wouldn't compromise her medical career over my discomfort.

She said nothing and continued gazing out ahead of her. After a moment, she got up to leave.

"You're leaving?" I asked her. I didn't know what to say, but I didn't want her to go yet. This was the first time I had seen her in 5 years and for some reason I couldn't drink her in enough, I wanted more even though I didn't deserve anything from her.

"I made a promise. I'm trying to keep my word."

I hated that promise I made her make years ago. I realize now how unnecessary it had been all along. I had already broken up with her, that was just the icing of my shit cake. I wish I could go back to the moment, and never make her promise me that she would stay away. I treated her as if she was a stalker or something and it did damage.

I nodded. "Can you find me when you're ready? There's something I owe you." I told her simply.

I saw her straighten before walking off back into Seattle Grace. Meredith Grey was here in Seattle, and I was done for.

AN: Please keep the reviews coming! I love your feedback and they encourage me to update faster. Next chapter, we have a lotttttttt of fun and a lot of MerDer, it's going to be an interesting ride and a lot of clarity around the five years that these two were separated and what went on in their lives.