Thank you all so much for your patience in waiting for this chapter. It's extra long, hope you like it!

Chapter 19

I open my eyes the next morning to see Bella's hair rumpled and chaotic all over her pillow. The rising sun peeks through the small, porthole-like window next to the bed in the loft, making the white shiplap walls begin to glow. The soft morning rays play over Bella's exposed back, and I make note of the small freckles I didn't discover the night before. There's three of them next to each other, like a little constellation. I'll never get over how beautiful she is. Even when she's being difficult, like she was in the beginning, I find her stunning.

I'm staring at her when she rolls over, catching me. "Hi," she says, her voice groggy and morning-unused. I kiss her lightly in response, and we lay in bed petting Joey until he starts walking to the edge of the mattress, clearly needing to go out.

"Can we–" Bella says at the same time I begin to speak.

"Why don't we–"

"What?" she asks, her smile wide and her eyes sleepy.

"Why don't we take a walk down to the diner, get some breakfast. I worked up an appetite last night." I grin and look at her naked body, now facing me, and I'm ready to go again, but Joey has needs that must be tended to first.

"That's what I was going to say," she laughs, eyes twinkling.

I move closer and dive into her neck. "Oh yeah? Guess we're both starving."

She squeals a little and complains about my stubble. "Joey is going to pee the bed if you don't take him out."

Sighing, I agree and get up as naked as can be, comfortable with her. She has the audacity to smack my ass.

"You're going to pay for that," I growl, but inside, I'm a lustful teenager, already hard at the thought I'm going to be back in this bed with her later. Like, right after this bathroom trip if I have any say.

Pulling on sweats, I carry Joey down the stairs and place him on the floor. He plops down immediately.

It's a no bones day. Which is fine by me, because I'm feeling a little wobbly in the leg department myself.

I pick him up and carry him outside, placing him on the sand. He snuffles around until he finds a spot he likes. The sun is not quite all the way risen yet, hiding behind a thin veil of clouds, and the air has a chill, but I stand with my eyes closed, breathing in the salt air and exhaling. It's a ritual that's lived with me since I was sick, a tool to try and center myself.

My hand automatically rises to the scar on my chest, and I run my fingers over it. For the millionth time, I thank my parents or whoever is watching over me for giving me this life. For giving me Joey.

And now, for bringing Bella to me.

The relief I felt yesterday when she pulled up to the house was indescribable.

After returning from the lawyers, I got my stuff together for our quick trip and checked the time. She was late and hadn't answered my text. I didn't worry right away, as I figured she probably had the phone off in the library. But when ten minutes turned into an hour, I got a sinking feeling in my gut and went to the big house. I think it took that moment when the house was eerily empty, and her room was neatly made, suitcase gone, that made me understand how hard I'd fallen for her.

I stood on the steps, hoping. Waiting. Giving trust to someone that might be in vain. When the car pulled onto the pebbled driveway, I felt a weight lifting, much like I felt when they'd told me I was cancer-free.

There's been a few women in my life, but something about Bella just makes me feel right. Like I can have all my flaws and baggage, and someone actually might be able to understand. Someone might be able to help me carry my burdens and history.

She needs me as much as I need her. And I'll forever help her carry hers.

I knew when she exited that car and looked at me with her full suitcase in hand, a hopeful look on her face, that she wasn't leaving again. I don't know how I knew, but I knew, and she confirmed it with one simple word. She was ready to take a chance.

I shake my head of thoughts as Joey sits on my foot, and I lean down to stroke his head. He closes his eyes and sighs at my touch, and I know exactly how he feels.

With every day, there's been a lot more sadness, but with it comes a lot more gratefulness. The love I have for him overwhelms me and I scoop him up, kissing his head and holding him against me as we look at the surf, my head next to his. "It's a beautiful morning, Joey. Let's be grateful for one more day together."

I hear Bella closing the bathroom door in the house and kiss Joey one more time before carrying him in. I contemplate joining her in the shower, but it's really tiny and lord knows I'll want more room than that allows.

We've got time to do all the things.

After a great breakfast of eggs Benedict, which I find out is Bella's favorite, we spend the day being lazy, cuddled up with Joey in numerous spots around the cottage while taking advantage of Joey's many nap times to make use of the bed up in the loft. I feel like I can't get enough of her, like I just want to keep her locked up in this cottage with us and shut out the world.

The calendar reminder on my phone has other ideas, however, and tells me I have a therapy appointment the next morning. I tell Bella I can blow it off, but she tells me no, it's important, and we should go back to the cottage anyway, so she can do some writing.

I don't mind returning but wonder where she'll stay. Surely, she won't want to be in the big house alone anymore, right? And when I carefully broach the subject, she looks at me with a duh look on her face and says the cottage is about to get much much cozier.

I love that she's all in, and I rub my scar on my chest to ground me from floating away.

"You look happy, Edward," Dr. Cope says, smiling at me as we sit facing each other in her office.

"I am," I reply truthfully. Bella has been brought up before, early in her arrival, but Dr. Cope is a little surprised things have moved so quickly.

I tell her about the conversation Bella and I had, and the decision we made. "So, what does this mean to you, trying?" she asks, pen at the ready.

"She's going to stay here for the most part. We discussed it, and we'll spend some time in New York too, so she can still be a presence at the paper."

"This is a big change. Fast, too."

"It is, but honestly, everything is changing for me, isn't it?" I ask, not really a question. "I mean, soon Joey will be gone. He's been my whole life for a long time."

"And what would you think if I asked if this new relationship Bella was perhaps a replacement for the relationship you have with Joey?"

I let the thought simmer before answering, truly thinking about it. "I'd say she's not, not at all." I reply honestly and try to convey exactly what has been happening in the last two weeks since I've been in this office. As I talk, she makes some notes, but I'm positive when I rehash our entire relationship that it is indeed real, and not something I'm clinging to in the wake of losing the biggest part of my life.

"There will never be a replacement for Joey," I start, and lean back into the cushions. "And I think one of the great things about Bella is that she gets it. She understands it and hasn't in any way tried to make me feel like my feelings for him are over the top or immature, silly or stupid." I start to tear up. "Losing him is going to be the hardest thing I've been through, and I'm happy she's going to be there for me after. It might be fast, but what am I waiting for? I feel like my life has just been about the guy who survived tragedy for so long. Now it's going to be about something else."

I take a sip of water. "I did worry that maybe once he was gone, that Bella and I would have nothing else to tie us together. And I guess that could still turn out to be true. But I'm willing to put it all out there to find out. I'm ready to venture out of our little town, and I'm ready to let someone in. I'm ready to be happy again."

Dr. Cope smiles. "Then you will be."

When I return to the cottage, Bella is nowhere to be found. My heart skips nervously for a brief moment until I tell myself she loves me. Plus, her rental was outside. We're really going to have to do something about that thing, must be costing my uncle a fortune, which I'm sure Bella gets a sick thrill out of. She's still planning on giving him that onesie even though things worked out the way he planned.

I shake my head and laugh, still a bit stupefied that he dreamt this whole thing up. He loves me and wants what's best for me, but let's be real. Bella certainly was a strange choice of who to send my way at first, and I wonder what he saw in her to think she was supposed to be mine. Whatever it was, I'm glad it made itself known to him. I'm looking forward to seeing what New York Bella is like when she's in her element.

"Bella?" I call but there's no answer. I frown, wondering if she's outside with Joey. He had another no bones day today, so they can't have gotten far.

Putting down my keys, I start to head out the back door to see if they're lounging on the deck. I stop in my tracks when hanging in the doorway blocking my view is a garment bag with a note.

Joey is fine. Take this into your room without looking outside or in the bag, please. Further instruction awaits.

The handwriting is somewhat messy and rushed, matching up perfectly with what I would imagine Bella's handwriting to be. I smile, thinking about how much more there is to find out about her. I hope I learn something new every day.

Doing as instructed, I head to my room and see she's changed the sheets and made the bed. Being a bachelor with no real need for such formality, I find I like that she did that. It reminds me that I'm not alone here anymore. As long as she doesn't litter the bed with twelve frou-frou unnecessary pillows, we're all good.

When we returned last night, I was still worried that she might change her mind and want some privacy, but she followed me to my cottage without question and made herself at home. It was everything I could want.

It is a little cramped in here, though, and for a fleeting moment I wonder if it's not time to make a change, to make that leap and move back into my childhood home.

Curtailing that thought for another day, I hang the bag up and unzip.

My eyes narrow at the bowtie sitting inside. My mouth turns down in question, but I unzip it fully and pull out a tuxedo. Pinned to the lapel is another note.

Put this on and come outside. We love you and we are waiting for you.

I'm definitely curious and wonder if she's planned a first-time-for-both-of-us prom. Smiling at her cheesy thoughtfulness, I button up the shirt, tuck it in, put on the shoes that came with it and slip on the jacket. I adjust the clip-on bowtie, silently thanking her for assuming I wouldn't know how to tie a real one. I contemplate stuffing a condom into my pocket like a horny senior but decide to keep it classy.

I'm surprised she got my measurements pretty close, as the tux fits rather well. Looking in the mirror, I think I look handsome, something I don't see myself as often. When I look at myself it's hard for me not to see the shadows under my eyes that have remained since my illness, or the gleam that once lived in them now slightly dulled. I can't not see the way that one patch of hair behind my ear never really grew back. I will never not see that sick kid, even if others don't.

I wipe my mind from those thoughts and picture Bella in a typically horrible prom-style shiny dress, waiting for me outside, Joey at her feet. Maybe there will be some equally bad 90's pop playing in the background, and crepe-paper strewn around the porch trying to resemble a school gym.

But when I step onto the porch, I don't see any crepe-paper. I don't hear any pop music.

I see Jasper and Alice on the lawn standing next to an arbor laced with flowers. I see the string quartet from our Europe night off to the side. I see Bella standing under it, in a white dress.

And when I look down at her feet, I see Joey.

In a matching tuxedo.

My eyes tear up and I can't help them from escaping slowly, running down my cheek when realization dawns. My hand covers my mouth and I draw it roughly to my chin, awed.

I walk across the lawn staring at the two of them. When I reach them, Bella smiles and looks down at Joey, and I automatically crouch down to pet him. Bella's hand lands on my shoulder, and I gaze up at her, my eyes trailing her body all the way to her beautiful face.

"It's time you completed your list," she says softly and hands me a pen.

Standing, I pull the well-worn, ever-present list out of my pocket and unfold it. Pen marks strike through all of the adventures we've shared, all of the moments I wanted for us. I look at the last item, the only one not crossed off. The one under "The Impossible".

Joey standing with me, the best man at my wedding

Imagine thinking you'll never see the Northern Lights, and there they are, rising colorfully above you. Or never believing you'll get to the top of Mount Everest, but there you are, a king on top of a mountain. Never thinking you'll survive a horrifying illness, but you do.

This is ten times more unimaginable.

I take the pen and with a shaky hand, I cross off that last line and stare at my now completed list before looking at Bella.

"I can't believe you did this." I lift Joey up and kiss his head, looking at Bella through watery eyes. I'm not even embarrassed at my show of emotion; this last adventure is so overwhelming and not something I ever thought was in the realm of possibility.

She lovingly strokes Joey's head and smiles warmly at me. "Jasper is playing officiant so don't worry," she laughs. "It's not an official wedding. But hopefully it's enough."

"It's more than enough. Thank you." I emphasize, and Jasper steps under the arbor to face us.

"Be right back! Don't leave!" Bella says joyfully, and she and Alice run away in bare feet on the grass.

I look at Jasper and he shrugs, a smirk on his face. "Bella contacted Alice, and you know how she is once she hears an idea. She was all in. I asked her if we should tell Bella that I am actually an officiant," he says. "But without a marriage license, it won't be legal anyway, so I said nah."

I laugh, imagining the moment. "Let me be the one to tell her. Can't wait for her eyes to bug out." I put a hand on his shoulder and he smiles at me. "Thank you, too."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

The musicians start playing that familiar wedding entrance song, and I put Joey on the ground. "You're the bestest man, I love you," I whisper in his ear and he turns to lick my chin. I choke up and stand to watch my 'bride'.

Alice looks happy as she walks across the lawn before Bella, holding a small bouquet and wearing a nice blue dress. She then steps to the side, and my breath hitches.

Even though I just saw her, Bella is breathtaking walking towards me in a white sundress. The skirt flows behind her, and her shoulders are bare. The flowers in her hand are pink, and she's got one tucked in behind her ear. She looks so beautiful my heart thumps.

Someday, I am going to marry her.

It fills my mind with such conviction, with such confident belief, I know I would agree if she wanted to make it legal right here and now.

Jasper is trying to teach Bella how to two-step on the porch, the both of them struggling to not spill the wine in their glasses while Alice and I sip the rest of the Blanton's.

Alice has her legs drawn up under her, her head laying back on the cushions. I take my clip-on off and throw it next to my empty dinner plate. Alice arranged for the meal from Peter's, and when she told him what it was for, he threw in a mini cake decorated to look like a wedding cake.

Joey is asleep in his bed, his tux long gone. I smile at the memory of Bella fishing the Sea View Motel key rings out of his breast pocket for us to use and thumb the one around my ring finger absent-mindedly.

"Should I have gotten a prenup?" I ask, humor in my voice.

"Nah, you're not worth anything," she jokes and sips her bourbon. "I like her."

I smile. "Me, too."

"So this is it, huh? She's moving here and you're going to make a go of it?"

"Yup. I'm okay with staying in the city for a few weeks at a time, if that's what we need to do. The restaurant will be in good hands with Jasper when I'm not there. We're going to look for a new apartment, but she's pretty sold on the idea of making Ogunquit our primary residence."

"While that last part makes me immensely happy, what a change in lifestyle, huh?" she laughs.

I think about Bella's past, her distaste of everything Ogunquit is, and marvel at how much someone can change when they want to. When they love someone, which she does. It's the least I can do to support her and let her thrive in her element as well.

"Who'd have thunk it?" I reply, raising my glass and clinking it against Alice's. Bella trips and falls into Jasper, her head thrown back in laughter, so easy, so free. My own smile grows on my face, and I think about what Dr. Cope said. If I want to be happy, I will be. I have to remember to tell Bella that, too, so we'll always be able to live by it.

"Okay, off with both of you. I need to spend some alone time with my wife." I stand to grasp her around the waist and grin down at her as she rolls her eyes. "Someday," I whisper in her ear, spontaneously.

I'm thrilled when she shudders against me and nods her head. "Someday."

Alice and Jasper leave quickly after I tell them I'll deal with the mess in the morning, and as soon as they're out of sight after more hugs, I pull Bella close to me and land a deep kiss on her mouth. The sugary taste of wedding cake is still on her lips and I lick them slowly. She moans, and that's all I need to move.

Securing Joey inside on his bed, I quickly grab her and swing her up into my arms so I'm carrying her bridal-style. She doesn't protest and holds onto my neck, placing her lips under my ear as I carry her across the bedroom threshold.

"Is this why you changed the sheets and made the bed?"

"Can't have our wedding night start off in messy sheets. What an omen."

"Good call." I throw her down while she squeals and pounce on her. We're teasing each other, tickling and grabbing, until it grows serious as we lay close, facing each other.

"I have no words for what you did today," I tell her, looking into her eyes with so much emotion welling up in me. "Never did I think I'd be able to have that moment with him."

She moves her hands up to cradle my head, kissing my mouth softly. "As soon as I saw it, I knew what I had to do. There was no way I was going to let that list go unfinished."

"I love you, maybe Mrs. Cullen."

"I love you, sort-of-husband."

With a smile at the sound of that, I capture her mouth and we undress each other, exploring with hands and mouths as each item is removed. The pace is slow and intimate. Like we have all the time in the world.

When she's completely naked under me, I move into her, kissing her and repeating how much I love her. She opens up for me and takes me all in, her hands moving up and down my back, telling me the same.

It's unhurried and gentle, our mouths matching the lazy pace our bodies do. We tease each other with our hands and lips, until we can't hold back anymore. Bella moans loud, telling me to take her, and our eyes are heated as I speed up, moving into her with more energy. I'm so close, and when she tells me she is too, my eyes close and my forearms push myself up to gain more traction. I rock into her with feral passion until we come together, moaning and gasping for breath. When I finally move off of her, she nestles into my side like she was made to fit, and I've never felt more at peace in my life.

I'm woken by a muffled sound and wonder if Bella is dreaming. It's a soft whimper, and my eyes flash open immediately.

Sitting up abruptly, I reach for Joey. He's usually pressed up against me, as he was when I brought him to bed, but now I find him at my feet. When I crawl to him, Bella wakes up.

"What's the matter?" she asks and sits up when I don't answer.

I cradle Joey's head and he's just limp in my hands. His eyes are open, but they're glazed, unfocused in the moonlight streaming through the windows. He whimpers again, and I close my eyes, my head lowering to his gently.

I feel Bella move to kneel next to me and hear her sharp intake of breath.

"It's Joey," I say, resignation and terror dueling in my voice.

It's time.

Had the pleasure of Zooming with CarrieZM and LayAtHomeMom last night and let me tell ya... they are just as wonderful as you think they are.
They get all the wedding cake.

This is for Squiggy.