A/N: Welcome back! It's time for another Doctor Who Christmas special chapter. This one being Voyage of the Damned.
I do not own Doctor Who. All I own is my OC and this story.
Please review and no flaming will be tolerated.
Thank you, and please enjoy!
SAIL ACROSS THE STARS
"This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud."
– Bon Jovi: 'It's My Life' (Crush [2000]).
Tardis
The Tardis is in flight when suddenly the Doctor and the Heart hear the sound of a ship's foghorn, and the bow of a ship smashes through the side of the Tardis, throwing both of them to the ground to avoid being crushed by the ship.
"Where the hell did that come from?" the Heart coughed and glowered at the random ship's bow. The Doctor sifts his way through the rubble.
"I must have forgotten to put the Tardis's shields up," the Doctor fretted and takes a brief glance at the massive hole in the side of the Tardis. "Oh, well. There's no harm done. She should repair herself in no time flat."
"Well, that's a relief." the Heart responded, dryly. The Doctor eventually comes across one of the ship's lifebelts and flips it over. He immediately pales when he reads the name of the ship on the lifebelt.
"What?" the Doctor exclaimed with dread. The Heart senses the Doctor's fear and comes over to investigate.
"What is it? What's wrong?" She looks down at the lifebelt and reads the name 'Titanic' on it. She groans. "Oh, you got to be kidding me…"
The Doctor gets to his feet and returns to the console to adjust the controls. The moment the ship is extracted from the side of the Tardis, her walls reform. He then materialises inside the ship, next to a board detailing a list of shipping companies. The foghorn sounds again just as the Tardis doors open and the Doctor and the Heart step from her to investigate what exactly was going on.
Reception
People dressed in Edwardian finery are enjoying a champagne buffet, and a band plays a slow version of Jingle Bells.
"Oh? Is it Christmas?" the Heart questions with pleasant surprise, glancing around in fascination and ignoring the strange looks she was getting from the passengers who walk by her and the Doctor. The Doctor shrugged looking a bit baffled by what he was seeing all around him.
"Must be." He responded as he and the Heart walk further into the reception area. All around the room are golden skinned statues of male angels. One moves as the Time Couple walk past it and spot a small, red-skinned alien with spikes decorating his head like a porcupine's spines, dressed in a dinner jacket. They move towards a nearby window and look out. "Right." The Doctor acknowledged a view of Planet Earth off in the distance. It was now obvious that they were currently standing in a space version of the ill-fated passenger liner the Titanic which was hovering above the planet.
"Oh wow, what a beautiful view!" The Heart gasped with delight.
"Attention all passengers. The Titanic is now in orbit above Sol Three, also known as Earth. Population, Human. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Christmas." A crewman's voice rang out over the tannoy.
The Doctor eagerly turns and grins at an equally excited looking Heart.
"Now we can't pass this up." The Doctor pointed out before offering his arm to his tether playfully. "What do you say, darling, you wanna go explore?" He asks her with a grin and the Heart immediately takes his arm.
"Absolutely! But I think we need a change of clothing, so we don't draw any more attention to ourselves…" She gestures to the Doctor's brown pinstriped suit and white converse, and her own black tank top, rainbow patchwork trouser pants, and white platform converse shoes with rainbow shoelaces with a slightly embarrassed grimace.
"Good idea. Meet you back out here in fifteen minutes tops!"
Bridge
Captain Hardaker and his crew survey the vastness of space from the bridge. He and his crew were wearing Edwardian era uniforms, much like most of the passengers on board, and the bridge is elegantly period, but the equipment they were using was hi-tech. It was an odd mixture of James Cameron's 1997 movie Titanic, and also the technology that the Poseidon cruise ship had in Wolfgang Petersen's 2006 movie Poseidon.
"Nice and steady. Good work, Mister Carvill." Hardaker complements his crew member. "And maintain position. Now then, gentlemen, according to the traditions of the planet below, Christmas is a time of celebration." He gives a stiff smile to Carvill. "I think you might be entitled to a tot of rum. Just the one." He gives his permission. "Off you go. I'll keep watch."
"Sir." Cavill salutes Hardaker and leaves, followed by other crewmen. Only one of the younger officers stays behind.
"And you," Hardaker addresses the young officer. "What was it?"
"Midshipman Frame, sir." The young officer confirms. "Only just qualified, sir. First trip out."
"Then you can stand down, Midshipman." Hardaker insists, but Frame hesitates. He doesn't hesitate to remind his captain of the protocols.
"Er, but, er, regulations say the bridge has to be staffed by two crewmembers at any one time, sir." He reminds the Captain, who frowns momentarily, but easily recovers and nodded approvingly at Frame.
"Well said. Very good." He agrees. "Well, it should be nice and quiet. It's only a level five planet down below. They don't even know we're here." He reminds Frame who nodded. "Silent Night, I believe they call it. A silent night."
Reception
The Doctor, dressed in a black dinner jacket and bowtie and a pair of classic black converse hi-tops, stood curiously examining a computer screen with a recording of a bald man with a thin moustache, who was sitting behind a desk and addressing his audience with a fake, charming smile.
"Max Capricorn Cruiseliners. The fastest, the farthest, the best. And I should know because my name is Max." The man's gold tooth glints in the artificial light and the Doctor raises an eyebrow at the cheesiness of the advertisement before redirecting his attention onto something else.
"My, my…" He turns and immediately brightens when he sees the Heart walking towards him in her borrowed finery. The blonde Time Lady was gowned in a strapless blue-grey thigh high split gown, with sky-high silver stilettos and her previously wavy long hair had been temporarily straightened and pinned back to stop from falling into her eyes. "Don't you scrub up nicely, Doctor." The Heart complimented her tether with a coy smile.
"You look beautiful, love." The Doctor returned the compliment and reaches out to take her hand as he leads her into the dining room part of the ship. A passing steward smiles and nods politely to them in greeting as he went by.
"Merry Christmas, sir. Miss."
"Merry Christmas." The Time Couple responded brightly before finding themselves surrounded by couples dancing around the room to traditional orchestral music. They mingle, passing by a man who was talking on his phone, sounding rather terse with whoever was on the other line.
"It's not a holiday for me, not while I've still got my vone." The Heart grimaces at the negative emotions she was sensing from this man. "Now do as I say and sell!" He barks as he walks off.
"I pity whoever that poor sod is…" She mutters to the Doctor who nodded, looking somewhat amused, before spotting a nearby angel. He leads an equally curious Heart over to it.
"Evening. Passenger fifty-seven." He addresses the angel. "Terrible memory. Remind me. You would be?" The Doctor questions the angel.
"Information: Heavenly Host supplying tourist information." The Angel responded promptly.
"Is that so?" The Heart looked relieved. "In that case, please remind us as we're a little bit slow, where exactly did we travel from?" She asked.
"Information: the Titanic is en route from the planet Sto in the Cassavalian Belt." The Angel explains. "The purpose of the cruise is to experience primitive cultures."
"Titanic. Who thought of the name?" the Doctor piped up.
"Information: It was chosen as the most famous vessel of the planet Earth." The Angel stated obediently. The Time Couple exchange bewildered looks between them before deciding to clarify something.
"And did they tell you why the Titanic was famous?" The Heart was dubious.
"Information: All designations are chosen by Mister Max Capricorn, president of Max, Max, Max…" The Angel starts glitching and twitches and its voice pitch rises. A steward notices this and immediately hurries over to intervene.
The Doctor smiles in amusement.
"Whoops. Bit of a glitch." He comments, casually. The steward gives them an apologetic grimace.
"It's alright, sir. Madam. We can handle this." He summons two other officers and they switch off the host angel and carry it away. "Software problem, that's all. Leave it with us. Merry Christmas." He walks off as the Doctor and the Heart watch them go, nonchalantly. "That's another one down." The steward mutters in frustration. "What's going on with these things?"
"Well, so far so good." The Heart commented, impressed by what she had observed so far and the Doctor nodded in agreement, but the cheerful smile on his face drops when he spots the man who was still barking down his phone to some unfortunate, bump carelessly into a petite blonde waitress who had been innocently attempting to do her job without pompous passengers colliding with her. "Oh, boy. Here we go…" the Heart could sense what was about to happen a mile away. And sure enough, the vile man immediately moves in for the kill.
"For Tov's sake, look where you're going!" He scowls at the poor girl, who drops her tray of drinks on the carpeted floor. "This jacket's a genuine Earth antique." He sneers at her unpleasantly.
"I'm sorry, sir." The waitress automatically apologises, despite the fact that it hadn't been her fault. But apparently the apology wasn't good enough for him.
"You'll be sorry when it comes off your wages, sweetheart." The Heart bristles indignantly and she could see that the poor young woman wanted to do pretty much the same thing but had to show some professional decorum in front of the paying guest. "Staffed by idiots. No wonder Max Capricorn's going down the drain." He mutters before striding off.
"Arrogant prick..." The Heart commented harshly as she and the Doctor dart over and stooped down to help her gather up the broken glassware. "Here. Let us help you." She said kindly and smiled at the startled waitress who immediately attempted to decline.
"Thank you, but I can manage."
"Don't be silly. We saw the whole thing; it wasn't your fault." The Heart insisted.
"Plus, we never said that you couldn't. I'm the Doctor, by the way. And this is my partner, the Heart." The Doctor smiled charmingly at her as he gestured towards the Heart who offered her a bright smile too.
"Astrid, sir. Astrid Peth." The waitress responded politely.
"Nice to meet you, Astrid Peth. Merry Christmas!" the Doctor chirps brightly.
"Merry Christmas, sir."
"Just Doctor, not sir." The Doctor insists, wrinkling his nose a little at the respectful title.
"Are you enjoying the cruise?" Astrid asks the couple and both of them shrug, earning a look of surprise from her.
"Not bad. Are you with someone?" the Doctor asks curiously.
"Yeah, bit faraway from home, planet Sto." The Heart observes with a little bit of concern, and Astrid grimaces a little.
"Doesn't feel that different. I spent three years working at the spaceport diner, travelled all the way here and I'm still waiting on tables." She looked a bit miserable, and obviously starved for a bit of adventure that didn't involve serving ungrateful, snobbish passengers visiting an alien planet.
"No shore leave?" the Doctor questioned.
"We're not allowed." Astrid looked a bit disappointed about that. "They can't afford the insurance. I just wanted to try it, just once. I used to watch the ships heading out to the stars and I always dreamt of—" She cuts herself off looking a bit embarrassed. "It sounds daft."
"Rubbish. It sounds great. There's nothing wrong with wanting something a bit more fulfilling in your life." The Heart disagreed.
"Yeah, absolutely. You dreamt of another sky. New sun, new air, new life. A whole universe teeming with life." The Doctor grinned at the idea. "Why stand still when there're all that life out there?"
"So you two travel a lot?" Astrid was curious.
"Frequently," The Heart nodded.
"Well, that's the plan." The Doctor looked a little sheepish as he remembered some of their past adventures that didn't go as planned. "Never quite works."
"Must be rich, though." Astrid stated and both the Doctor and the Heart smirked mischievously.
"Haven't got a penny." The Doctor admitted and Astrid looked at him with confusion. "Stowaways." He whispered that last part so none of the nearby stewards could overhear their conversation. Astrid looks shocked.
"Kidding?"
"Not even a little." The Heart was sincere.
"No."
"Oh, yeah." The Doctor grinned and Astrid bit her bottom lip, looking about nervously.
"How did you get on board?" She asked, curiously.
"Accident." The Doctor confessed. "We've got this, sort of, ship thing…" He clears his throat awkwardly when he notices the mystified expression on his tether's face in regard to his very clumsy explanation. "I was just rebuilding her. Left the defences down. Bumped into the Titanic…"
"And we found ourselves in the middle of this party, just mingling." The Heart added on, shaking her head fondly at her tether.
"I should report you." Astrid points out and the Time Couple just stare at her, unfazed by the threat.
"Go on then." The Doctor challenges her. Astrid giggles, then looks around surreptitiously before leaning into whisper to them.
"I'll get you both a drink on the house." She offers before wondering off to do so. The Doctor and the Heart grin triumphantly before heading off to mingle with the other passengers. However, what they come across is a bunch of toffs laughing cruelly at a large woman in a purple cowgirl outfit and an equally large man, who was also dressed in a purple cowboy outfit.
"Just ignore them…" the man mutters to his female companion, just as the Doctor and the Heart come over and take a seat at their table.
"What's the joke?" the Heart questions with a frown after sensing some less than friendly emotions coming from the group of laughing toffs, and the humiliated and self-conscious emotions coming from the large woman.
"They told us it was fancy dress." The woman responded after swallowing her bite from something that looked like chicken wings on her plate. "Very funny, I'm sure." She stated rather dejectedly.
"They're just picking on us because we haven't paid." The man explained, looking both protective and defensive. "We won our tickets in a competition." The woman immediately perked up at this.
"I had to name the five husbands of Joofie Crystalle in By the Light of the Asteroid." She explained, looking rather proud of herself. "Did you ever watch By the Light of the Asteroid?"
"Is that the one with the twins?" the Doctor asked, trying to remember.
"That's it!" the Woman exclaimed. "Oh, it's marvellous!"
"But we're not good enough for that lot. They think we should be in steerage." The man glares resentfully at the toffs, and the Heart throws a devilish grin in the Doctor's direction before holding out her hand towards him.
"Don't worry, I'll handle this. Sweetie, can I borrow your sonic for a moment?" the Heart asks the Doctor who reaches into his inner jacket pocket and produces the instrument.
"What are you up to?"
"Wait and see. Don't spoil it." She gently scolds him before subtly aiming the sonic towards a champagne bucket sitting on the table, the laughing group of entitled toffs were standing around. The Doctor's confused frown immediately clears when he realises what she was about to do and struggles to maintain a straight face when the cork from the champagne bottle suddenly pops, showering the toffs with alcohol. The Heart giggles before handing the screwdriver back to him. "I really need to get one of these for myself…" She muses thoughtfully and the Doctor smiles at her with affection.
"Well, I can make that happen for you as soon as we get back to the Tardis. Consider it your Christmas present." The Doctor offers and the Heart beams at him with delight, as the woman and the man stare at them both with wide eyes.
"Did you just do that?" the woman asks the Heart.
"Yes I did. Someone had to teach those idiots a lesson."
"We like you!" The woman beams at the Time Couple who shrugged modestly. The man reaches over the table and offers his hand to the Doctor who takes it with a grin.
"I'm Morvin Van Hoff. This is my good woman, Foon." He introduces him and his apparent wife to the couple.
"Hello, I'm the Doctor." The Time Lord responded warmly before gesturing to the Heart. "And this is my lovely partner, the Heart."
"Oh, I'm going to need a Doctor, by the time I've finished with that buffet." Foon thumbs over to a large table laden with gourmet delights right behind her, then holds out her plate towards the Doctor and the Heart. "Have a buffalo wing." The Time Couple graciously reach for a chicken wing each and bite into it. The Heart giggles in amusement after Foon suddenly commented with: "They must be enormous, these buffalo. So many wings."
"Shush…" the Doctor playfully scolds her, despite finding the comment hilarious himself.
"Attention please. Shore leave tickets Red Six Seven now activated. Red Six Seven." An overhead announcement calls out, and both Foon and Marvin perk up immediately.
"Ooh! Red Six Seven. That's us!" They push away from their table and get to their feet. "Are you Red Six Seven?" Foon asks them curiously.
"Might as well be." The Doctor acknowledges as he and the Heart get up also and follow the Van Hoffs.
"Come on, then. We're going to Earth."
"I can't wait to see this…" the Heart mutters underneath her breath to the Doctor, who nodded back in agreement, looking slightly concerned that the presence of these aliens was likely to cause a riot down on the surface.
Bridge
A small alarm immediately grabs the attention of both Hardaker and Frame, who frown down at it curiously as they investigate what had triggered the alarm to go off in the first place.
"Seems to be power diverted to Deck thirty-one, sir." Frame reports to Hardaker. "It flared up then it stopped." He frowns in a puzzlement. But Hardaker appears unfazed by this.
"Nothing to worry about. She's an old ship, full of aches and pains." He reassures Frame who nodded, acknowledging the explanation from his superior. But then he notices something else out of place on the ship's monitor.
"Picking up a meteoroid shower portside, bearing west fifty-six north two."
"Pretty standard in this part of space." Hardaker again responds dismissively. "Miles away."
"We could probably see it, sir." Frame grabs onto some nearby binoculars to look at three trails of flame in the vacuum of space.
Reception
The Van Hoffs, the Doctor and the Heart make their way back to the reception area and walk over to a man in a tweed suit, who was holding up a sign.
"Red Six Seven. Red Six Seven. This way, fast as you can!" He calls out loudly. Astrid reappears beside the Doctor and the Heart, holding two champagne flutes in her hands as she smiles professionally at them.
"I got you those drinks," She stated, holding out the glasses to the couple expectantly. The Time Couple accept the glasses, but the Doctor also gently takes Astrid's arm and leads in the same direction they were walking in.
"And we've got you a treat." He stated, with a determination. "Come on."
"Red Six Seven departing shortly." The tweed-suited man announces. The Time Couple and Astrid hurry up to him, as the Doctor brandishes the psychic paper.
"Red Six Seven plus one." He states, and the older man hurriedly waves him, the Heart and Astrid along.
"Quickly, sir. Please, and take three teleport bracelets if you would." He instructs, rather distractedly, taking no notice that one of the shore leavers was in fact a staff member.
Astrid immediately panics.
"I'll get the sack!" She warns them, and the Heart just rolls her eyes in response.
"Just humour us, will you?" She urges the younger woman.
"Brand new sky…" the Doctor entices Astrid by holding up a teleport bracelet.
Astrid hesitates, looking very tempted, despite the fact that her job was potentially on the line if she went with this strange couple. She decides to risk it and snatches the bracelet from him and snaps it on; much to the approval of the Time Couple. The tweed-clad man continues rallying the shore leavers closer to him.
"To repeat, I am Mister Copper, the ship's historian, and I shall be taking you to old London town in the Country of UK, ruled over by good King Wenceslas." He announces, and both the Doctor and the Heart pause and look over at him with perplexed looks.
"Did he just say what I think he said?" the Heart whispers to her tether who nodded.
"Yeah, I think he did."
"Now, human beings worship the great god Santa, a creature with fearsome claws, and his wife Mary. And every Christmas Eve, the people of UK go to war with the country of Turkey. They then eat the Turkey people for Christmas dinner like savages." Copper lectures the crowd in front of him, while the Doctor and the Heart just stare at him with bemusement.
"Well, now I've heard everything…" the Heart mumbles.
The Doctor chooses to speak up.
"Er, excuse me. Sorry, sorry, but, er, where did you get all this from?" He questioned him, and Copper looks mildly annoyed by the interruption.
"Well, I have a first-class degree in Earthonomics," He explained before hurrying along. "Now, stand by." The same little red alien the Time Couple had seen earlier comes running up to the group.
"And me! And me! Red Six Seven!" He croaks in a strange, robotic-like voice.
"Well, take a bracelet, please, sir." Copper requests. The Doctor's eyes widen in alarm.
"But, er, hold on, hold on. What was your name?" He asks the little red alien, urgently.
"Bannakaffalatta."
"Okay, Bannakaffalatta." The Doctor blinked at him. "But it's Christmas Eve down there. Late night shopping, tons of people…" He looks up insistently at Copper. "He's like a talking conker." Bannakaffalatta looks a bit indignant, and the Doctor looks at him apologetically. "No offence, but you'll cause a riot because the streets are going to be packed with shoppers and parties and—"
London street
The Doctor is cut off mid-sentence when the group is teleported down to Earth and materialises on an empty shopping street. There is not a soul to be seen.
"Oh." The Doctor is surprised.
"Where is everyone?" the Heart turned about on the spot, confused. Copper steps towards the group of aliens, holding what looked like a credit card aloft in the crisp London nighttime air.
"Now, spending money. I have a credit card in Earth currency if you want to buy trinkets, or stockings, or the local delicacy, which is known as beef." The Heart grimaces and shakes her head at the inaccuracy of Copper's information. "But don't stray too far, it could be dangerous. Any day now they start boxing."
"Very good!" Bannakaffalatta looks impressed by what he was seeing all around him and wonders off with the rest of the guests. The Doctor looks incredibly concerned by the lack of people roaming the streets.
"It should be full. It should be busy. Something's wrong…" He explained. Astrid, however, doesn't seem fazed. She beams from ear to ear and looks around the area with child-like wonder.
"But it's beautiful!" she exclaimed.
"Really?" the Heart looked at her dubiously.
"It's just an ordinary street," the Doctor pointed out. "The pyramids are beautiful, and New Zealand—"
"But it's a different planet!" Astrid insisted. "I'm standing on a different planet. There's concrete and shops. Alien shops. Real alien shops!" She glances up at the sky. "Look, no stars in the sky." She takes a deep breath in and wrinkles her nose at an unexpected foul smell but doesn't appear to really care. "And it smells. It stinks!" Astrid immediately throws herself at both the Doctor and the Heart and hugs them enthusiastically. "Oh, this is amazing! Thank you!"
"You're welcome, I guess." The Heart smiles at her, bewildered.
"Well, come on then." The Doctor decides to make the most of it and leads both women down the street. "Let's have a look." It was also an opportunity to get to the bottom of why London was practically a ghost town when it should've been bustling like normal. They come across a nearby news stand, which has a billboard for The Examiner, whose headline reads: 'London Deserted'. The proprietor is an elderly man in his approximate 70s. Behind him, the Union Flag is pinned up on display.
The Doctor catches his attention.
"Hello, there. Sorry, obvious question, but where's everybody gone?" He questioned, curiously.
"Oh ho, scared!" the elderly man responded with a slight scoff.
"Of what?" the Heart blinked at him.
"Where've you been living? London at Christmas? Not safe, is it." The elderly man responded, like it should've been obvious.
"Why?" the Doctor was confused.
"Well, its them, up above." The elderly man leans out slightly from the news stand and gestures up towards the sky as he continues to explain. "Look, Christmas before last we had that big bloody spaceship, everyone standing on a roof. And then last year, that Christmas Star electrocuting all over the place, draining the Thames."
Both the Doctor and the Heart flush red out of embarrassment.
"Oh. Yeah, we nearly forgot about that…" The Heart cleared her throat uncomfortably.
"This place is amazing!" Astrid is oblivious to the Doctor and the Heart's shame of ruining nearly every Christmas London had ever attempted to celebrate.
"And this year, Lord knows what." The elderly man stated. "So, everybody's scarpered. Gone to the country. All except me and Her Majesty." He gestures towards a small TV beside him which had an image of Nicholas Witchell broadcasting on it.
"Her Majesty the Queen has confirmed that she'll be staying in Buckingham Palace throughout the festive season to show the people of London, and the world, that there's nothing to fear."
"God bless her!" the elderly man salutes the TV proudly. "We stand vigil."
"Good on you!" the Heart beams with both amusement and approval to the man. As does the Doctor.
"Well, between you and me. I think her Majesty's got it right. Far as I know, this year, nothing to worry about." The Doctor confirmed before he, the Heart, and Astrid suddenly and randomly vanish into thin air.
The elderly man looks a bit worried.
"Then again…"
Reception
They and the other shore leavers find themselves back on the spaceship, looking around in a bewilderment, while the Doctor looks slightly annoyed.
"I was in mid-sentence!" He pouted indignantly. Cooper shuffles forward, looking a bit confused himself.
"Yes, I'm sorry about that. A bit of a problem. If I could have your bracelets." Everyone removes their bracelets and hands them back over to Cooper, just as a steward rushes over, looking apologetic. Astrid ducks behind the Doctor and the Heart, who shuffle together and clasp hands with each other to act as a shield for Astrid to hide behind to avoid being noticed.
"Apologies, ladies and gentlemen, and Bannakaffalatta. We seem to have suffered a slight power fluctuation." He informs them all. "If you'd like to return to the festivities. And on behalf of Max Capricorn Cruiseliners, free drinks will be provided."
"Thank you!" Foon perks up almost immediately. Astrid re-emerges once it is safe to do so, and beams happily at the Time Couple, handing the bracelet to the Doctor.
"That was the best. The best!" She stated excitedly, earning warm smiles from the couple before she darts away to resume doing her job. The Doctor, who was still holding the Heart's hand and not letting go any time soon, frowns at her with curiosity.
"What sort of power fluctuation do you think they're talking about?" He wondered.
"Let's go and find out." The Heart decides, looking eager.
Bridge
Frame watches nervously as the improbably burning objects seem to turn towards the Titanic. He frowns and reports this to Hardaker.
"That's a bit odd, sir. The meteoroids are changing course." He stated to a suspiciously calm-faced Hardaker. "Still, we can put the shields up to maximum, just in case." He suggested, but Hardaker stops him almost immediately.
"As you were, Midshipman."
"Sir?" Frame looks at him in a bewilderment. "You're magnetising the hull, sir. It's drawing the meteors in." He doesn't hesitate to point out.
"Port turning Earthside." The computer announces. Frame raises an eyebrow and looks doubtfully at his captain.
"I take it that's deliberate?" He inquires.
"Port turning Earthside." The computer repeats.
"Bit of a lightshow for the guests?" He added, hopefully. Hardaker doesn't react beyond a simple shrug, which makes Frame's insecurities worsen.
"Something like that." Hardaker acknowledged.
Reception
A singer begins a song called 'The Stowaway' and joins in and sings along with the band after a few moments.
"You shouldn't be here. What's your tale? I ought to throw you to the whale. He just smiled and said, come here, let's dance. He said, borrow or steal, I'll find a way to be with my lover upon Christmas Day. And I'll run and I'll roam, I'll cover the ground. This Christmas I'll see you around. I'll be around…" However, as lovely as the song was; neither the Doctor nor the Heart were paying attention, instead focusing on the Max Capricorn advertisement that had first caught the Doctor's attention.
"…And I should know because my name is Max. The fastest, the furthest, the best. My name is Max!"
The Doctor once again reaches into his inner jacket pocket and produces his sonic before using it to unfasten the frame and get at the electronics behind the screen. He and the Heart work together to change the image of Max Capricorn to the ship's current status.
"Oh, God. The bloody ship's shields are offline!" the Heart exclaimed with wide eyes, causing the Doctor to look out of a nearby porthole to see the three fireballs Frame had spotted back on the Bridge that were heading their way.
"Oh ho, and check out what's coming this way…" He gestures to the Heart to see for herself and when she does see the rapidly approaching fireballs, she groaned in exasperation.
"Oh, figures." She grumbled. "This adventure had to be too good to be true, didn't it?" The Doctor rigs the speaking tube to whistle so he could get in contact with the Bridge.
"Is that the Bridge? I need to talk to the Captain. You've got a meteoroid storm coming in west zero by north two!" He reports into the Bridge.
"Who is this?" Hardaker responded.
"Never mind that, your shields are down. Check your scanners, Captain. You've got meteoroids coming in and no shielding!" the Doctor retorted back in frustration.
"You have no authorisation. You will clear the comms at once!" Hardaker orders, firmly. The Heart grabs the microphone from the Doctor and angry shouts down into it.
"Are you serious? What kind of a Captain are you? Just look starboard and see for yourself if you don't believe us!" The Heart yells and snaps her head in the direction of a steward who had come over to intervene and grabbed her shoulder to get her attention.
"You're going to have to come with me, Miss." He stated authoritatively, and the Heart looks over the steward's shoulder to see that another steward was already escorting the Doctor away.
She goes without a fuss, but glowers defensively at the man escorting her off.
Bridge
Hardaker switches off the speaker, basically ignoring what the Doctor and the Heart had been trying to alert to him. Frame is shocked by his superior's nonchalance.
"But they're right, sir. The shields have been taken offline." He confirms, and he moves to raise them.
"Step away from there." Hardaker orders, firmly.
"But we have to re energise them." Frame argues. Hardaker pulls out a revolver and aims it at Frame who pales when he sees the weapon in his Captain's hand.
"I said step away, Midshipman." Hardaker reiterates his order. "They promised me old men…" Hardaker continues talking, and Frame looks at him with confusion.
"I'm sorry, sir?"
"On the crew," Hardaker elaborates for Frame's benefit. "Sea dogs. Men who'd had their time. Not boys." Frame can't believe what he was hearing and decides to defy the orders he had been given to attempt to save the passengers on board, even if it meant treason.
"I'm sorry, sir. It's my duty!" Frame reaches for the controls, and Hardaker immediately shoots him to stop him.
Reception
At the same time, the Time Couple were being escorted off deck, and the Doctor immediately begins verbally protesting.
"You've got a rock storm heading for this ship and the shields are down!" He tells the stewards, hopeful that they would listen to his warnings. But it seemed like he was talking on deaf ears. Seeing this, the Heart manages to get free from her own escort and sprints for the stage towards the singer, who was still in the middle of singing her song.
"Be with my lover on next Christmas Day, and I'll run and I'll roam, I'll cover the ground—" the Heart snatches the microphone from the protesting woman and addresses the dancing guests urgently.
"Everyone, you need to listen to me! This is an emergency! Get to the lifebo—" she is interrupted by an Angel who puts its hand over her mouth, startling her because it was unexpected.
"Oi! Let go of her!" the Doctor growls protectively. The Heart manages to pull herself away from the Angel and gestures towards the porthole windows.
"Look outside if you don't believe me, for God's sake!" the Heart insists as she is recaptured and taken away by some stewards. Bannakaffalatta attempts to help.
"She friend!" He protests as the arrogant man with the phone, whose name was Slade, does what the Heart suggested and looks out of the window. His eyes widen when he sees the meteoroids.
"If you don't believe us, check the shields yourself!" the Doctor tells the steward restraining him.
Astrid wades in to help too.
"Sir, I can vouch for them!" She stated with a determination.
"Look, Steward, they've had a bit too much to drink…" Morvin attempts to smooth over the situation also. Just then Copper comes over, looking alarmed.
"Sir, something seems to have gone wrong. All the teleports have gone down." He reports to one of the highly irritated and rapidly stressing out stewards who were attempting to remove the Time Couple.
"Not now!" He barks at Cooper. Everyone jumps in fright when a piece of hot rock suddenly smashes through a window and lands at Slade's feet.
"Oxygen membrane holding. Oxygen membrane holding." The computer confirms as Slade wonders over to a nearby Angel.
"You there!" It turns towards him inquiringly. "Has anyone checked the external shielding?" Slade barks rudely to the Angel.
"Information: You are all going to die." It responds to Slade's question in an eerily calm fashion. Slade gives the Angel an incredulous look before turning towards a nearby officer.
"Where's the Chief Steward?" He demands. The officer looks a little bit out of his depth.
"Er, he went that way, sir." He relays, helpfully. In a nearby corridor, the Time Couple are still attempting to get the stewards to see reason.
"The shields are down. We are going to get hit!" the Doctor insisted, urgently. Slade runs after them, backing up what the Doctor was saying.
"Oi! Steward! I'm telling you; the shields are down!" He confirmed too. The Doctor, for once, is relieved that somebody was backing him up apart from the Heart.
"Thank you!" the Heart sagged with relief.
"Listen to him. Listen to him." The Doctor insisted, gesturing to Slade. A fireball suddenly impacts the Titanic dead centre, impaling the side like perforated tin foil. An explosion sends the Time Couple and Astrid flying, then everything goes quiet, apart from people whimpering in fear, Foon had paled drastically.
"It's all right, sweetheart." Morvin soothes his wife, tenderly. The Doctor gets to his feet from the hiding place he had been shielding the Heart protectively after he, she and Astrid had been thrown about like ragdolls when the explosion happened.
"Shush!" He hisses urgently, causing everyone to stop and pay attention to him. "It's stopping." Everyone cautiously sits up and looks around, before spotting that there are now three decent sized holes in the hull of the ship. The Doctor momentarily turns and attends to the Heart and Astrid. "Are both of you alright?" He asked, and both women nodded.
"I think so," Astrid confirmed with relief.
"Titanic is a REALLY bad name for a ship…" the Heart grouses as she and the Doctor helps Astrid to her feet.
"Either that or this suit is really unlucky." The Doctor frowns down at his dinner jacket with a grimace, and the Heart was about to ask what the hell his dinner jacket had to do with this situation when she remembered exactly when she had last seen it and went blank-faced.
He had been wearing it back in Pete's World when he and Rose had been posing as domestic staff at parallel-Jackie's "39th" birthday party and they were attacked by Cybermen.
"Yeah. When this is all over you're burning that bloody thing once and for all. It's a menace." The Heart agreed, glaring at the suit.
"Er, everyone!" Heads snap towards one of the stewards who was attempting to grab everyone's attention. "Ladies and gentlemen, Bannakaffalatta. I must apologise on behalf of Max Capricorn Cruiseliners. We seem to have had a small collision." The steward stated the obvious and Morvin just looks at him like he was thick.
"Small?" He echoed, sarcastically.
"Do you know how much I paid for my ticket?" Slade demanded.
"Sir, that doesn't seem like the most pressing concern at this moment." The Heart pipes up, getting annoyed with his selfish attitude. "The spaceship has been damaged and people have been hurt. Get your priorities straight!" She advised and Slade looks at her in offence.
"Excuse me, do you know who I am?" He demanded, and the Heart gathered every bit of patience she possessed and did not break Slade's neck.
"No, and you wanna know something else. I don't care." The Heart retorts with a very Master-like sneer on her face that made the Doctor immediately turn and attempt to calm his tether down before she could do something she would likely regret.
"Darling, calm down, please. He's not worth it." He pointed out cupping her face and stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, making her look him in the face. The Heart focuses on his warm brown eyes and draws in a deep breath to centre herself. With a final warning glare at Slade, she turns away and focuses on the steward.
"If I could have silence, ladies, gentlemen. Please." Only half of the surviving passengers are actually focusing on him, the rest are still panicking and talking frantically amongst themselves. "Quiet!" All eyes focus on him. "Thank you. I'm sure that Max Capricorn Cruiseliners will be able to reimburse you for any inconvenience…" He attempts to appease Slade, who rolls his eyes ungratefully. "But first I would point out that we're very much alive."
"Doctor…" He glances at Astrid who was focusing on someone off in the distance, and the Doctor turns and spots Copper who has a cut on his head. He immediately goes over to the older man and guides him to a nearby chair.
"Are you alright?" He asks Copper, concerned. The steward continues speaking, oblivious to what the Doctor was doing.
"She is, after all, a fine, steady ship. If you could all stay here while I ascertain the exact nature of the situation…" the steward heads towards a nearby hatch with the intention of opening it.
"Don't open it!" both the Doctor and the Heart shout at him, frantically. But they were too late to warn him before the hatch is opened and the steward is sucked out into space. There is mass panic as everybody scrambles to hang onto the nearest fixed object while the Doctor gropes around in his pocket to pull out the sonic and uses it on a nearby control panel, which is flashing 'Vacuum Breach' on its monitor. Immediately, it shifts to 'Oxygen Shield'.
"Oxygen shield stabilised." The computer confirms and everybody lets go but are severely shocked by what they had just witnessed.
"Is everybody okay?" the Heart calls out, grabbing the attention of the room.
"Astrid?" the Doctor confirms with their new friend, who nodded, but looked visibly upset by the loss of the steward. "Foon? Morvin? Mister Copper? Bannakaffalatta?"
"Yes." Bannakaffalatta croaked in his strange robotic voice. The Doctor reluctantly turns to Slade and addresses him.
"You, what was your name?" He asks, bluntly.
"Rickston Slade."
"You all right?" the Doctor asked, trying to be polite and finding it difficult. Slade glowers at the sealed-up patch where the hatch used to be, and the Heart bristled when she felt the accusations this dickhead was about to spout.
"No thanks to that idiot!" He sneers, and everyone looks at him with disgust.
"The steward just died." Astrid protested angrily.
"Then he's a dead idiot." Slade corrected himself. The Doctor is quick to step in front of the Heart and grabs her by the shoulders giving her a warning glare.
"Heart…"
"Just let me punch him. It'll only take a second…" she pleaded, but the Doctor just shakes his head.
"Geez, you're just like your brother. No!" He stated, firmly. "Now everyone just calm down. Just stay still, all of you and hold on." The Doctor instructed. He turns back to the Heart and gives her his best no-nonsense look. "Now can we just focus on the situation at hand? Will you do that for me?" He asks her quietly, but also understanding the anger she was feeling. He was feeling it too.
"I would do anything for you, sweetheart. You know that." The Heart stated sincerely.
"Good. Let's get to work, shall we?" The Doctor smiles warmly at her as Astrid comes over, looking bewildered.
"What happened? How come the shields were down?" She asked.
"I don't think it was an accident." The Doctor stated. He, the Heart and Astrid look out of the hatchway and the hole in the side of the ship to the floating debris and dead bodies. Astrid shudders and the Heart reaches out and places a comforting hand on the younger woman's arm to reassure her that they were there.
"How many dead?"
"We're alive. Just focus on that." The Doctor advises her.
"We will get you out of here, Astrid." The Heart promises her, but Astrid looks unconvinced. "Hey," the younger blonde focuses on the Time Lady. "Look at me, hon. We promise." She looks at her very seriously and Astrid eventually nodded, and the Heart smiles gratefully. "Good." The Doctor sagged with relief that Astrid was placing her trust in them and moves on with the next phase of their plans.
"Now, if we can get to Reception, I've got a spaceship tucked away. We can get on board and…" He trails off when he spots something out in space. "Oh."
"What is it? What's wrong?" Astrid questioned.
"That's our ship over there." The Doctor stated, sounding a little flat.
"Where?" Astrid frowned.
"There. That box. That little blue box." The Doctor points towards the Tardis which was currently drifting further and further away from the spaceship towards the Earth.
"Oh, great…" the Heart mumbled. Astrid makes a disbelieving face at the size of the Tardis.
"That's a spaceship?"
"Oi, don't knock it." The Doctor protested indignantly, earning a small giggle from the Heart.
"It's a bit small…" Astrid observed and both the Doctor and the Heart exchanged smirks. Every new companion had the same reaction every time they see the Tardis for the first time.
"Yeah, she's a bit distant." The Heart agreed, jokingly.
"Trouble is, once she's set adrift, she's programmed to lock onto the nearest centre of gravity, and that would be the Earth."
"Which is a tad inconvenient right now." The Heart stated and the Doctor hummed in agreement.
Host Maintenance Room
In the maintenance room where the host angels were taken to be repaired, the chief engineer was trapped by a fallen girder. A host angel that he had been attempting to repair was standing nearby look down at him, emotionlessly.
"Don't just stand there. Get this thing off me." The engineer snaps at the angel. It doesn't move, only aggravating the man further. "Host, that's an order. Help me! That's your job, isn't it?"
"Information: We now have only one function." The angel responded calmly. The engineer suddenly feels uncomfortable as he responded.
"And what's that?"
"Information: To kill." The angel had replied so nonchalantly that the engineer didn't completely understand what had been said to him until the angel started advancing. His eyes widened in alarm.
"What are you doing?" He demanded. "Host, I'm ordering you. Stop it. Stop it right now!" The angel ignores him, instead removing its metal halo and using it as a lethal Frisbie, throws it at the Chief Engineer, who screams.
A/N: Stay tuned for part two of three chapters. This was a very long Christmas episode.