Title: Contact High-Five
Author: theonedeidara
Author's Notes: This fic tries to capture my most recent interpretation of Itachi's and Sasuke's relationship after watching the entire series. It does not follow the Canon universe.
I was inspired by these songs when writing this initial chapter: One on One by Hall & Oates; Bésame by Ricardo Montaner. I recommend listening to both but the latter one is a Spanish song (my first language).
.~.~.~
The temperature is penetrating. I can hear the sky crying outside the apartment windows, it's pouring down. I refuse to turn up the heat because I know that no amount of heat will melt away the ice inside me. There is no other noise in my ears but the sound of the pouring waters.
I just allow myself to feel my surroundings: an impossibly soft bed and pillows that somehow feel hard like stone; icy cold sheets on my skin that mirror the iciness in my heart; chilly currents of air, I must have left a window open again. There is a sore feeling coming from the back of my throat. Is that from sickness or weeping? I don't know. I should probably be sleeping with thicker covers, I would not be surprised if I already am sick. I am wearing no clothes, who has time for that anyway? I dare not open my eyes to wake up. That's the last thing I like to do these days.
My dreams are escapes to the reality of my life so I just let myself drift into slumber, slowly, painfully. Being awake is like an avalanche of heartache, it is overwhelming to my senses and the act of existing is sometimes too much to take. Eventually, I fall asleep again. I have lost count of how many times I have done that today. Was it already five times, or ten? I ignore the growling screams of my stomach. The ghostly-like pallor of my face matters not. My impossibly long hair, going ungroomed for days, matters not. The time of the day matters not. Weeks and months have melted into confusion.
I come to my senses again. I do it all over again; allow myself to feel my surroundings. The noise of water coming down is ongoing, like a song on endless repeat, except it is a little softer this time. A wave of something washes over me and I shoot up in a sitting position. The lightning in the room hasn't changed the least bit. There is no telling how long has passed. I refuse to care or acknowledge it. All that there is the sensation of absence. It pieces my heart like a dagger that is rough around the edges. It cripples me. No more. Obsidian dark eyes that turned crimson red. No more.
My hands turn into fists; I get up out of bed, grab the first shirt and pants I find, force them on, and slowly make my way into-into something other than this apartment. While passing the living room in a hurry, I catch sight of the orange loveseat across the television unit. It has the look of being hopeless and sad, like an old abandoned home that has seen better days. It was gifted by an annoying Naruto as a housewarming gift when we had first moved in. There were passionate, lustful, caring, kisses shared on that couch. We tried counting the contact of our lips. No more. Only He knew the kisses we had left to keep counting; nobody else knew. With determination, I settled comfortably on my side of the loveseat to wait for Him one more time. That's all there is left for me to do now.
I softly close my eyes and I can smell His scent. I allow a flood of memories to conjure up in the confines of my brain; I allow them to embrace this cocoon that is left of me. I perfectly remember the day I obtained the keys to this apartment. I felt blunt and confident. This was after I had found out for certain He harbored feelings for me. That's all I needed for me to make the first move.
"Are we done playing games, Aniki" It sounded more like a statement than a question. I dropped the keys on the kitchen island. I was tired of having him ignore me for the last few days. My last interactions with Itachi had been with several members of the Akatsuki present, as always Itachi was a master at evading me when he wanted to. In our last few missions, there had been no privacy which had prevented me from being able to speak to him at all and breach the subject.
"You don't know what you're asking for" was Itachi's calm reply.
"This apartment," I ignored his last words as I walked through the small living room into the large bedroom with a bathroom attachment "is where our next chapter begins. That is your set of keys. I won't let you run away any more". There was decision in my voice that surprised even me. Resolve had somehow settled in the pit of my stomach and was driving this entire conversation. I would not allow Itachi to deny this any longer. I glanced back at him to see he was still standing immobile by the kitchen island, with eyes set on the pair of house keys, unmoving.
"It's small but it will do for now. We are rarely home anyways," I continued.
"Sasuke, I don't think this will be necessary".
That was the last straw. I moved at light speed and forced myself in front of my brother, shifting my entire body weight on him which caused him to take a step back into the island and bump- his back came in contact with the countertop and he was stranded with me on the other side.
"Enough." I got dangerously close, placing my palms on the island with Itachi in the middle, and breathed into his lips while looking straight into his coal-black eyes. Mine had already turned a deep red.
"I want you, Itachi, can't you tell?" There was a myriad of emotions emanating from me and I was sure Itachi felt them all because he was silent for a while, processing. The silence stretched but I waited determinedly. He would not evade this again.
Itachi suddenly grabbed me by the arms with the slightest look of concern on his beautiful pale features. "There is no going back after this." He implied everything that would happen and was about to happen. And there was nothing I wanted more that evening. I wanted everything and what "more" could be with this man who happened to be my brother. I wanted, no, I yearned for more private time with Itachi, away from the Akatsuki and away from the missions of the shinobi world. That night it was just me and him; no team playing. The only game I wanted to play that night was one-on-one with Itachi.
"I am ready to face the consequences of my decisions," I said firmly and closed my eyes before cupping Itachi's face in a soft, chaste kiss. Itachi did not allow us to go all the way that night as I would have liked; it took a lot of convincing on my part but eventually, I learned everything intimate there is to know about my brother. I can almost smell a mixture of vanilla, cedarwood, teak, and smoky incense coming from the bedroom and I can almost see the play of shadows our naked bodies made on the bedroom walls in the dark-the play of the most primal dances- as we made love by the candlelights. No more.
I have waited, I am waiting, I will continue to wait. I can feel the touch of His lips pressing a soft kiss on my eyes as I sleep through the mornings. The manner in which He kissed my gardens and my flowers, I felt baptized and blessed with those holy and heavenly kisses. When He kissed the whispers he made against my ears; and when He kissed all of my passions, all of my fears, all of my days and my nights I felt right at home like it had been our destiny. I crave the way He kissed my river all the way to its origin.
No more.
I needed to hold on to those small kisses He would plant on my forehead for a little bit longer had I known He would leave my side so soon. This pain I feel in my chest is a result of all the treachery and hurt we have experienced in our lives, and one thing is for certain: this pain left in me is both His and mine. It represents the intimate bond we continue to share that not even death can break apart.
"Aniki, I promise you one thing: this isn't the end. Until we meet again."
A small smile forms on my lips as I lightly tap the right side of the bright orange loveseat, as if gesturing to an invisible companion to settle down with me like the old times.