Part of being a Captain was the sense that you were the head of a family; your crew become an extension of yourself.

When someone is hurt, or God-forbid killed, it affects the whole.

And Christopher Pike felt it.

Everyone was hurting.

For all they knew, Saru was living out his final moments owing to the accelerated vahar'ai brought about by the living sphere they had encountered.

The sphere itself was dying and desperate; an ancient, conscious construct crying into the void of space to be remembered before its systems failed…

Then there was Tilly. And the Captain had to admit… he'd been thinking about Tilly since she had left the bridge during her short-lived shadow exercise.

He'd wanted to check-in on her all day. But… duty meant he had to remain on the bridge and lean on his subordinates to keep him informed of the young ensigns progress.

Burnham briefed him; after the dark matter incident, Tilly had been experiencing what she thought was a hallucination… however, it appeared she had been infected by a spore fragment… so now, bizarrely… the ships specialists believed the woman was not in need any form of medical intervention.

This was Discovery; nothing made sense.

Chris could only rely on his specialists… and, as insane as this assignment had been at times… they always seemed to pull through for each other.

So, Tilly was in the hands of engineers when, perhaps, she should have been in the hands of Doctors and medical professionals. Chris had to trust this was the right call.

He'd been trusting a lot lately.

Somewhere in the middle of this madness, the ship was, yet again and inevitably, in danger; he'd been up to his elbows in blood and guts helping in sickbay but there was a part of him that desperately wanted to get to engineering and check on his command recruit.

And while the living sphere perished; it's final act was a transfer of all of its data in the midst of saving Discovery and her crew.

Remarkable.

This universe was full of infinite wonders.

And while he loved his job… there were still a few items to reconcile.

Saru had, it seemed, survived his genetic metamorphosis; the ordeal having transformed him rather than ending him. That was two for the win…

There was a moment… after they had evaded death, that Chris had felt relief wash over him…

But that feeling was a sickeningly distant memory as he watched the play-back from the Spore Drive-Room.

Seeing of the make-shift translator his engineer and science expert drilled into Tilly's brain, tapping into the parasitic fungus that had taken the young ensign hostage as a delivery vehicle for its message… it was almost impossible to believe these events had taken place.

For a moment, it seemed, the madness and pain Tilly had experienced had yielded reward; they had achieved communication with the parasitic, multi-dimensional fungal interloper.

It almost seemed worth it.

Then everything went south in a spectacular way; the fungus overtook Tilly while the bridge crew fought against a dying sphere and her two friends stood-by helplessly... in compete shock and despair.

Chris could relate… it's just the way he felt as he watched their frantic investigations to conclude… She was gone.

What the hell was he going to tell her parents?

A young woman in her twenties… and here he was, nearly two decades her senior… Didn't seem right he was still here when she wasn't.

He'd barely had time to formulate any form of direction in his thoughts before a request came to meet the senior team on the bridge.

Which was when the whole universe tilted off axis.

Stamets was stood before the bridge-crew saying Tilly was alive; Alive!

Chris could hardly breathe as the scientist explained his theory that the young woman had been transported into the great mushroom network or some-other damned explanation…

The thing Chris heard was that this happened against her will.

So that was the decision made.

All Chris knew was that he was willing to crash the ship and all her crew between realities to wedge it open enough to give Tilly even the slightest chance of getting back to them.

"From what I know of that young woman…" he contemplated his words, "she'd put her life on the line for any one of us.

"That she would, Sir," Stamets responded.

"In a heartbeat," Burnham confirmed.

So a ship-wide communication was established, with the support of his bridge-crew.

"Starfleet is a promise," Chris explained, "I give my life for you, you give your life for me. And nobody gets left behind. Ensign Sylvia Tilly is out there and she has every right to expect us. We keep our promises."

Black-alert.

With the juddering groan, Discovery lodged itself into the space between realities.

As the ship was being eaten.

A dead-man had returned from the grave.

Section 31 had, apparently, developed various advanced technologies beyond the current sate-of-the-art installations in Starfleet; amongst which was a camouflage device used to spy on them through their mission.

There were many elements Chris wanted to address with the current Section 31 Captain that had been masquerading as a friend.

But once back on the right side of reality… Chris had only one place to be.

()()()

Sickbay was, somehow, already filled with officers wanting to lay hands-on Burnham, Stamets and the newly – almost inconceivably – reborn Dr Culber… probably to ensure that, while the universe had, literally, just span on its axis, they weren't somehow dreaming.

And, yes, while the events of the last few hours had been completely insane… people coming back from the dead was something Christopher Pike had experienced before. With a confirmation from the medical team, Chris wasn't too concerned.

He had experts for a reason; he best in their field telling him that his officers were returned and, while some my need further support, it would be offered.

The family was whole again; he felt it.

And as the small throng cleared the room, Chris finally had the chance to see…

Tilly was sat upright on a bio-bed, excitedly chattering away to anyone who would listen about how fucking awesome the experience was.

Chris remained on the periphery, letting her crewmates express their relief an joy at her return.

On occasion Tilly would glance away from her well-wishers and capture Chris in an effervescent sapphire moment of joy. And he was swept up in the moment as those glances were coming his way more and more.

Finally, she realised he was still in sickbay waiting for one reason.

"Captain," the young woman couldn't hide a blush as she acknowledged him, "Sorry I didn't say hello sooner…"

"You were busy," Chris responded, cooly, simply glad to have the bay to themselves, now most of the other officers had dispersed.

"I'd offer you a seat…" she joked.

Chris slipped a hip up and slid to a seat at the foot of her bed, asking, "This ok?"

The ensign startled a little, momentarily edging up and away before remembering they were alone and relaxing at their proximity and nodding in confirmation.

She was blushing a little; it was a bold move, after all, and it felt like the air sizzled between them for a moment.

Chris was glad she welcomed him.

It didn't feel like a subordinate conforming to a commander; it felt like she was genuinely pleased he was there with her… and just being this close… it set his heart beating a little faster.

He took a beath and reminded himself it wasn't the moment… and probably never would be, in a romantic sense.

Nevertheless, Chris wanted to tell her how relieved he was that she had returned to them… how glad he was to see her… how the ship and crew weren't the same without her… but, in truth, those platitudes were a diversion from his own feelings about the young woman.

Instead, he sat opposite her in silence… just smiling.

And Tilly?

She was smiling right back.

Perhaps nothing needed to be said after all.

Reality peeked through the moment as her hand rested gently in his own… and he dimly noted that, without realising, Chris had moved his hand out and she had taken in.

The acceptance in that touch made every doubt fall away.

"I don't think I can let you out of my site," he admitted…

Tilly snorted an adorable laugh, "I learn from the best, Sir…"

And she was right… she had done exactly what Chris would have done… he held her hand all the tighter.

"Ensign…" he sighed… but there were no more words…

He rallied and tried… "Tilly…"

"Chris", she replied, silencing all thought, "I had to…"

Of course, she did… because, yes, she had risked her life… but look at what she had achieved; to have travelled to an inter-space between dimensions and conversed with a new form of life…

He had to admit – he would have risked the same.

But then she squeezed his hand, "Thank you…"

Chris met her eyes…

"For coming to rescue me…" she explained.

He felt his head shake at the crazy…

There wasn't a soul onboard who wouldn't have ripped the universe apart to find her… he was just fortunate to be on a ship that held his thinking…

And yet… she somehow felt she owed him thanks…

Without realising, he was moving toward her and gathering her in his arms as she rose to join the embrace; all was warmth and the beat of two hearts against each other.

"You have the crew," he heard himself confirm as her hands splayed on his back, drawing them closer, "and we have you…"

Always, he thought as he closed his eyes and willed this moment to last…

It was an indulgent wish as the young woman relaxed further into his embrace, that she may feel the same as he did – that she felt a connection to him beyond the obvious hero worship he had noted on his first arrival onboard her ship.

Part of him knew he shouldn't be here, in this moment… he knew she was vulnerable after her recent ordeal… but he was glad she was allowing him this chance to comfort her. And he would let this continue for as long as she would allow.

But that was sooner than he may have hoped; Tilly moved in his arms and Chris loosened to give her the space, trying to hide the disappointment by keeping his gaze to the side.

"Captain…" she whispered, almost inaudibly, making him reflexively hold her closer as she confirmed the gentle sentiment with… "Chris…"

And he couldn't help it; he looked up and met her eyes.

The rest of the universe fell away in that moment.

There was only the warmth of her skin and the sweetness of her breath on his face… those ocean eyes and –

In a dizzying moment, Chris noted Tilly had closed the distance between them to press her lips to his.

It was wonderful – it was inappropriate – it was wonderful!

But before he had the chance to respond, he felt a shove and the cold distance between them solidified in the horror on Tilly's face.

"Oh… Sir," she gasped, covering her mouth with a horror that stabbed at Chris more than he would have wanted to admit.

"I'm so sorry," she continued…

Chris tried to move forward and reached for her…

But she pulled away.

And he was the most wretched thing in the universe…

God! He hoped he hadn't taken any liberties as he spread his palms to plead, "Tilly…"

But she recoiled…

"Sylvia…" he tried again… "I…"

But what was there to say?

"I…"

She blinked… waiting on his word…

And the brave and heroic Captain Pike retreated… "I'm so grateful you've returned to us." And while that was true he chose to, "Let's forget this incident happened and return to our regular duties."

The young woman nodded, mutely.

Dejected, Chris edged his way out of the bay… "I am… happy you are back with us."

Her next words left a sting…

"Thank you," she almost whimpered, not looking his way, "Sir."

And Captain Pike left sickbay.