Majo Kon-kiThe Marriage of Tanya the Witch
(The marriage chronicles of a witch)
Arc 6 - Half-blood Prince – Part 1
August, AD 1996, Severus Snape's home on Spinner's End in London.
"Hehehe!" Biting back her laughter, Tanya crept toward Harry, taking advantage as he was distracted showering.
With a sudden yank, she jerked the curtain aside, causing the boy to flinch.
"Tanya? You scared me. Wanna get in-" His answer was a knife to the gut.
"ARGH!" She stabbed him again and again… until the water swirling down the drain ran red.
"MWAHAHAHAHA! I've always wanted to do a 'Psycho'! Hitchcock would be so proud-"
"TANYA!" The girl's attention returned to reality, landing on a grumpy Professor Snape.
"Where- Ah! Sorry, I think I was daydreaming."
"I could tell! These days, it seems as if living in la-la land is all you ever do!" His tone was as though he had caught her doing it in the middle of a lesson.
"And I can guess who you are having fantasies about: your 'dear' husband!"
"I … have no defense."
"How could you?! Fantasizing about engaging in SHAMELESS behavior with Potter, right here in MY house of all places!"
"Of course, he has to interpret the complete opposite of what I was thinking!"
"Pay a visit to him later and indulge in whatever NAUGHTINESS you desire! For now, you will focus! We cannot afford mistakes! Not today!"
"I know! I am sorry, alright?! You don't have to repeat it all over! I am not Harry, I can listen!"
"… very well, are you ready to start?"
"Yes." From her pocket, she pulled out the time-traveling brats' gift, the world's single computation jewel.
"First step…Hnnngh!" As she concentrated, the orb pulsed with light, channeling a potent surge of mana into her body.
"And, next…" She closed her eyes, and similar to her daydream, an entire scene began to materialize, with clouds drifting across a vast, blue sky.
It was shortly after Sirius' funeral that Tanya learned Occlumency as a part of her preparations for her master strategy against Voldemort. While experimenting with her new ability, she accidentally stumbled upon a remarkable discovery. By combining Occlumency with a variation of her decoy formula, she could generate a mind simulation based on places of her memories which granted her access to her entire body's mana network. This breakthrough allowed her to examine a 'virtual' representation of her mystical organ, enabling her to devise a way to repair it.
"So fun! It is almost as if I am inside a VR game!" Slowly, she began to descend, her mind racing with curiosity about where she would find herself this time.
"I wish I could revisit my old workplace, but selecting the location requires a high dosage of mana, one I simply can't spare today." She figured she would return to one of her many battlefields or Hogwarts, exactly as it was in all her previous experiments.
"Either I will have Visha following me like a lost pup or Harry jumping on me at- huh?" A place was coming into her view, one she couldn't quite recall where it was from.
"What is that big house? Did I visit- OH, CRAP!"
'Is there a problem?'
"NO, NO, NO!" The red flag in front of the mansion confirmed the worst.
'You are scaring me! What is wrong?!'
"M-m-my mind recreated LORIA's house!" She panicked, realizing she walked straight into the worst memory of her three lives.
'Curses! No choice, we are aborting.'
"No! I can keep going… actually, I can have some fun SLAUGHTERING that pig-"
'Should I remind you what happened when you 'killed' Lockhart?'
"… damn!" The Professor recalled one of her early experiments, where Hogwarts was recreated exactly as it was in her second year, complete with Gilderoy Lockhart as the DADA teacher.
"I couldn't resist giving that jackass a painful death…" She had completely forgotten she was dealing with a simulation of her mana network, where every character played a vital role in the system… It felt as if her shield had been hit by an Unforgivable curse, draining her mana drastically, ending the simulation abruptly, and causing her to pass out.
'Let's stop, we will try another day.'
"It has to be today! I already transferred all the mana we harnessed into my body!"
'How about restarting the simulation?'
"It would take too long, and my body can only handle such a high dosage of mana for a few minutes at best!"
'… it is your decision.'
Landing at the mansion's entrance, she drew in a deep breath, and with heavy steps, she forced herself to revisit the place of her nightmares.
"To make matters worse, there is only one place 'I' can be!" This was another detail of the simulation, her mystical organ always took her form.
"I don't want to see me in THAT state! Uhhh! Was it too much to ask to have my old office today?! With my strong male body?!" Moving as quickly as possible, she reached the outside of her cell and there… she found HIM.
'What is going on there? You are trembling!'
"H-he is here!"
'He isn't there with you, he is a simulation based on your memories!'
"No…! I- I can't! I have to get out!"
'Remember the other experiments! You can control him, even send him away, do it!'
"I- Eek!" He directed his gaze towards Tanya, and she could see the malevolent spark in his eyes, undressing, violating her. Droll coming out the side of his mouth.
'Tanya, those are mere memories, they are as powerful as you want them to be!'
"…!" She was trying hard to listen to Professor Snape and to not run as Loria walked towards her, his hands raised in a grabbing fashion.
"No! P-please go away!" The pervert still advanced her way.
'Don't ask, ORDER HIM!'
"G-G-GO AWAY!" A few inches from touching her, he stopped in his tracks, turned around, and left.
"Arf… arf…!"
'How are you?'
"B-better! H-he is gone, thanks for the tips, I am- I will complete the task!" With regained determination, she opened the cell to find her mystical organ in the form of her weakened drudged self, pink dress and all.
"Sob! W-who are you? Are you here to save me?!" Tanya examined the crying girl. In one particular detail she was the same as in the other simulations, most of her body transparent, revealing the fragile state of her mystical organ, and a red string was tied to one of her pinkies, symbolizing her connection to Harry Potter.
"Please, I am so cold-"
"Shut up! I need to focus here!" Taking a deep breath, she briefly went over her theories.
'… in conclusion, a mystical organ is generated during conception. The mana of two lovers merging together creates an invisible, yet highly intense, explosion of energy, so powerful the residual energy could form up to ten more cores…'
She hypothesized that if her core were exposed to this explosion, her mystical organ would heal with a 'shower' of the residual energy. Unfortunately, trying it while two people were engaged in intercourse would be counterproductive. Aside from the embarrassment, the explosion's radius would be limited to the woman's body, happen in a millisecond, and Tanya couldn't predict when (or if) the woman would conceive.
Instead, she put together a plan where she would generate a similar explosion by overcharging the damaged core with as much mana as her operation orb has stored.
"We're talking about twenty-five days spent doing nothing except charging the damn orb! All for ONE single chance!" Without hesitation, she severed the red string. The effect was immediate, her other self began to disintegrate, her body rapidly fading.
"Take it! Take it all! And blow up for me!" Tanya channeled all the mana dispersed through her body into the string at an accelerating pace. Her other self's body was bathed in a brilliant light, followed by a powerful explosion of energy. It took a full minute before the outcome was revealed.
"Did it work…?!" In front of her, the representation of her mystical organ was completely SOLID.
"HOORAY! I am whole again, Professor!"
'Are you sure?!'
"Hehehe! So sure I am calling a lawyer to file my divorce- ah?" Her keen eye caught sight of a transparent pinkie on her other self.
"W-well, it's a small tiny part! Probably won't be a big deal- !" One by one, the fingers became transparent, followed by the entire hand, and soon, the whole body began to fade away.
"S-shit! It can't- ugh!" Struggling to stay conscious, Tanya grabbed both ends of the red string and tied them back together. After a few long seconds, the flow of mana from Harry resumed.
"… fuck!"
'By the tone of your voice, I believe it was a failure?'
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"
'Your distress is unnecessary, we can make another attempt. Maybe we both could take a long leave from school to-'
"It makes no difference!" In her mind, she quickly went through every step of the plan and was unable to find a single error.
"My theory itself must have a flaw somewhere- DAMMIT! WHAT A BIG WASTE OF MY TIME!" Seething with frustration, she wished for a target nearby to unleash her wrath upon.
"Where is that simulated Loria?! I really need someone to torture to death-" Her thoughts were cut off as arms tightened around her.
"Come here, my doll!" She should have learned by now to be cautious of what she wished for…
"NOOOO!"
'Tanya? What is wrong?'
"Sniff, sniff! You smell so DELICIOUS!"
"L-L-LET ME GO! I ORDER Y-YOU… p-please!" It might have been the despair in her voice; either way, he refused to obey her as he had before.
'That is enough, come back!'
"N-no…!" He slammed her against the nearby wall, forcing her to face him. Licking his lips, he leaned in closer. She fought to break free, but his grip was unyielding, like iron.
"S-someone- ANYONE, HELP ME!" Reflexively, she closed her eyes, still struggling with all her might.
"Tanya! It's alright! You are safe!" Her eyes snapped open. Instead of Loria, she found herself face-to-face with a concerned Severus Snape.
"Professor…?" Realizing he had been restraining her, he quickly released his grip.
"Forgive me! You were thrashing so much I was scared you might hurt yourself-"
"PROFESSOR!" She buried her head in his chest. Despite his initial surprise, he did as expected and wrapped her in a comforting embrace.
"Sob! Scary… it was so scary!"
"Honestly! Were you trying to mimic your husband's reckless tendencies?! Perhaps if you had heeded my advice, we would have waited for a more suitable day and ended this experiment as a success!"
"Sniffle! I told you it makes no difference, I believe there are errors in my original assumptions. I… why didn't I see that?! I feel so stupid!"
"Ah! N-no, that is not true…" He understood she required comfort rather than criticism. Sadly, there wasn't much he could do in the first place.
"Uhh, in these cases, only Harry can help me…!" Grudgingly, she knew she would have to seek her husband tonight or endure terrible nightmares.
"Sigh! This once… just this once, I wish a solution would easily fall into my lap!"
"…!" For some reason, the Professor tensed up.
"Tanya… to be honest… I did find-"
"SEVERUS! I NEED YOUR HELP!" A shout rang out, followed by relentless pounding on the front door.
"PLEASE, OPEN UP! I MUST SPEAK TO YOU!"
"Is that… Narcissa Malfoy?"
"… Narcissa Malfoy?" After pounding on the door persistently, Narcissa Malfoy heard from the other side.
"Yes! Please, let me in!"
"One moment. I must disarm the magical defenses before unlocking the door."
"Oh, Severus! Draco is in danger!" Unable to wait, she unburdened her heart to him right there in front of the closed door.
"I don't know what to do! You are my last hope!"
"As much as I am flattered, I do not see how I can be of any-"
"The princess! You are close to her! She must let her guard down around you!"
"Tanya? What does she have to do with anything? Aren't you here for Draco?"
"The dark lord will forgive anything if…" It was a risky wager, one Narcissa had planned to gradually convince him of, but her nerves got the better of her, and she couldn't stop herself from blurting it out.
"… we turn the girl he so much wants over to him!" Silence lingered on the other side of the door for a few seconds.
"What- what are you suggesting?!"
"She ordered Bella's death! Betrayed Lucius! And now, my son will pay the price! It's fair we solve this with her sacrifice!"
"Bellatrix wished Tanya harm, jealous of the attention the dark lord was giving her! And Lucius killed an important ally of hers!"
The conviction in his voice confirmed Narcissa's fear. Unlike her husband, who met intimidation with devotion, the potions teacher genuinely cared for Tanya Potter.
"I must somehow sway him to my side! To make him believe- no, understand he is in as much danger as my husband had been!"
"Lucius merely made a mistake! Tell me, Severus, aren't you one bit scared she may discard you too over a small blunder?!"
"How dare you-"
"Lucius risked his life to assist her behind the dark lord's back! And on a whim, she ruined his life! What makes you think she won't do the same to you?"
Finally, the door was open and Severus met her gaze, his face unmistakably showing his displeasure.
"If that is all you wish to ask of me, you've wasted your time!"
"NO, DON'T!" Before he had a chance to close the door, she slipped inside.
"You can't put blind trust in that deranged tramp! You'll end up in Azkaban, or worse!"
"…" He simply stood there, eyes locked on her.
"He is listening, it's a start!"
"For the sake of all of us, you must do as I ask! Contact her, invite her over, so we can-"
"No need, the 'deranged tramp' is already here." Narcissa's face drained of color as she saw the frightening princess, the very one she had been insulting and ranting about betraying, sitting on the sofa.
"If you had simply walked away, perhaps you would have lived to see another day…" Severus' ominous words were all it took to push her into action. She quickly attempted to Disapparate…
"AH!" … only to collide with an unseen barrier.
"Hahaha! Funny! Your husband did the same thing!"
And before Narcissa could make a move for the door, Severus slammed it shut, shaking his head at her as if saying 'too late'.
"You didn't hear how the ministry recommended all houses to be protected from 'unwanted Apparators'? Then again, I doubt anyone would think of using these to trap a death eater inside! Hehehe! As I said, funny!"
"Y-yes, it's rather amusing, ha-haha…! Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way-"
"Please, Mrs Malfoy, you just got here! Let me show a bit of hospitality…" The laugh faded from the girl's face, replaced by a glare full of murderous intent.
"… we can chat a bit about this 'plan' of yours to capture me for Voldemort!"
"Y-y-you misunderstood me! It was a joke- ACK!" The short girl leaped and forced Narcissa to her knees by the neck.
"You see, I had a major setback that left me most upset. But if there is something which greatly improves my humor is KILLING an enemy, especially a traitor!"
"M-mercy- Ack!" The girl ignored her pleading, tightening the grip on her neck.
"No… I can't… die… Draco… I am so sorry-"
"SEVERUS! ARE YOU THERE?!" There was more banging at the door, apparently from someone as desperate as Narcissa.
"IT'S ME, IGOR KARKAROFF! I BEG YOU, LET ME IN!"
"The door is unlocked-" The man burst in at once and threw himself at Severus' feet.
"PLEASE! YOU MUST HELP ME!" Karkaroff was hardly recognizable. Anyone who encountered him on the street might have mistaken him for a beggar, given the rags he wore and the awful stench. However, Narcissa saw him as a blessing, for his incessant rambling about the struggles of life on the run distracted Tanya Potter, causing her to loosen the strong grip on the woman's neck.
"… at last, it hit me what must be done to earn the Dark Lord's forgiveness! He wants the princess! All we have to do is give her to him!"
"I am experiencing a deja vu." The potions teacher raised an eyebrow.
"She is too powerful so we may need to be a little rough with her, break her arms and legs-"
"More treachery against my person? Seriously?!" At last, Igor Karkaroff took notice of the other two in the room. And taking a page from Narcissa's book, his face turned white upon seeing the girl he had been ranting about breaking her limbs.
"WWWAAAAHHHHH!" At least, he was smarter (or maybe too desperate) to run by foot.
The princess simply sighed and pointed at the spot where he had fled. Quite fast, he was flung backward, his neck now held firmly in her other hand.
"Oh! What a joy! Christmas came early and I got two presents to have fun RIPPING open!" Karkaroff trembled in terror at the remark, while Narcissa began to wonder if Tanya Potter was merely putting on an act. Having grown up with a psychopathic sister, she could tell when Bella was toying with someone and when she truly intended to kill.
"Pff! Bella could have taught her a thing or two about- OH MY GOODNESS!" She had never been more wrong… Karkaroff's lifeless face, his eyes bulging from their sockets and his tongue lolling out, made that horrifyingly clear.
"S-S-S-S-SHE STRANGLED HIM TO DEATH!" With a heavy thud, she tossed aside the lifeless body and turned her full attention, and her other hand, to Narcissa.
"F-f-f-f-forgivemercyspareme!" Being so scared, she couldn't form coherent words (besides the fact that Tanya was starting to crush her larynx). All she could do was to wait for a horrible death, with a tear stained face, and a pool of urine under her.
"Ah! Before we proceed, I am curious. What Voldemort has planned to do that made you so scared?" Narcissa wanted very much to answer, to earn herself a few more moments of life, yet no words came from her mouth.
"I believe I know." Severus spoke calmly, completely unfazed by the grotesque scene before him.
"The Dark Lord holds Lucius responsible for the failure to obtain the prophecy. As punishment, he has given Draco the task of killing Dumbledore, fully aware that the boy is doomed to fail."
"Yup! He will fail, bigger coward than him, only Harry- hold on! Voldemort ordered Dumbledore's demise?! Already?!"
"I didn't mention it to you?"
"No, you didn't! DAMMIT!" With a new thud, Narcissa was released, still breathing.
"I expected to have one more year!" Filled with worry, Tanya Potter paced back and forth, lost in thought and, most importantly, completely ignoring the older woman.
"This is going too fast! I couldn't place all my pieces in the right position being so busy with that WASTE of plan!" Having regained her breath, Narcissa seized her chance, crawling for the exit…
"… I need to add a surprise to the board, something Voldemort wouldn't suspect… YOU!"
"!" Narcissa's respite was short-lived.
"P-p-please! L-let me go home! I just wanted to help my son!"
"Don't worry, I changed my mind, I am not killing you."
"You won't…?"
"Of course not! Who would kill such a valuable pawn?! One who got herself promoted to a highly versatile queen?!"
"W-what could I offer-"
"You will give me EVERYTHING you have! Starting with your BODY!"
'HARRY POTTER: THE CHOSEN ONE?'
As it had been a year ago, the Daily Prophet was back to making a spectacle of Harry's name, only this time, the approach was the complete opposite.
'… we witnessed as Harry Potter, the chosen one, valiantly pushed He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named out of his body, the dark lord left screaming, humiliated in pain and defeat!'
"Aff… first the boy who lived, now the chosen one…" It was as if everyone knew about that stupid prophecy.
"Eventually, I will have to kill Voldemort! If anything, to protect my wife." The dark lord had armed himself with a new powerful wand, it had the ability to move at will from the Whomping Willow, and fire killing or petrifying curses like the Basilisk. But what made Harry's blood run cold was how both of those beings had been killed by Tanya, earning her a grudge that went beyond death.
"The wand itself hates Tanya to death! That day, it just petrified her arm because Voldemort didn't wish to hurt her!" Voldemort may want Tanya to be a Horcrux, however, it wasn't impossible for him to change his mind and decide to kill her to facilitate Harry's own death.
"How do I protect my wife? When I couldn't help S-Sirius…!" Sensing his depression creeping back, he flipped to the next page of the newspaper, hoping it might offer something to cheer him up, and, to his surprise, it did.
'LUCIUS MALFOY CONDEMNED.'
"Feh! Serves him right!" His grin seeing Draco's humiliated face in the picture didn't last as he read the next part of the newspaper:
'Magical Britain is deeply concerned about Dumbledore's health. He refused to be reinstated as Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot…'
"Right, Dumbledore's ill…!" If something was filling him with as much anxiety as Voldemort's wand was the thought of Dumbledore leaving.
"You two don't reckon Dumbledore will retire, do you?" Harry directed this question to his two best friends.
"Well, he's been fighting for the light for over five decades… he's earned a rest." Contrary to her words, Hermione had a worried expression.
"To be honest, even with all the training we had last term, I feel safer with him in Hogwarts."
"I am with Hermione." Ron added.
"Who cares about the extra security or lots of aurors? Without him around, I don't reckon Mum would let me go back and neither would I want to."
"Yeah, Hogwarts without Dumbledore wouldn't be right."
"""…""" They fell silent, all three wearing equally gloomy expressions.
Harry sent a glare towards the Daily Prophet in his hands, blaming it for the current atmosphere. Still, with nothing else to occupy his mind, he turned the page.
"Ugh! Bad move!" He immediately regretted it. The next article detailed how Muggles, Muggle-borns, and pure-bloods on the 'wrong side' were vanishing without a trace.
"Isn't that Mr Ollivander?" Seeing a picture of the wand maker, Ron yanked the newspaper from Harry's hands.
"Blimey! The death eaters tried to kidnap him!"
"Good grief! Is he alright?"
"Yes, he wasn't hurt. Hmm… his savior wasn't identified- damn! He is closing his store!"
"Him too? These days, people are so afraid, Diagon Alley is almost deserted…" Hermione let out a sad sigh.
"Tanya warned this would happen if we weren't strong enough to fight back."
"Fight back?! She wanted us to kill defenseless prisoners!"
"Ron! Tanya wasn't in her right mind! She was certainly upset over Sirius'-" Hermione directed an apologetic look at Harry for mentioning the taboo name. He reassured her with a shake of his head.
"About that, Tanya apologized to me later, she said she demanded too much from us 'non soldiers'…" He took the opportunity to explain how Tanya had chosen not to impose anything else on her friends or the Order of the Phoenix.
"Does this mean she plans to fight alone?!" Rather than be relieved, Hermione was troubled.
"I reckon she already is." Ron pointed to the part of the article about the kidnapping attempt on Ollivander, where it mentioned he had been saved by an anonymous benefactor.
""!"" Harry and Hermione were agape.
'There are some urgent business I will have to attend to and I can't be distracted.' This was all she said to him before unceremoniously dropping him off at the Burrow a few days after Sirius' funeral.
"What was I thinking?! That she ditched me just because she couldn't stand me moping around?!"
"I have to go find my wife!"
"What? Harry! You don't know where she is!"
"Snape might! She had been visiting him daily before we left Twelve Grimmauld Place!"
"It would be against her wishes!" Hermione caught Harry by the arm to prevent him from leaving on impulse.
"You said it yourself, Tanya doesn't want us to fight anymore! She must have felt guilty over her harsh words at the Department of Mysteries, this is why she brought you here! To give you a bit of peace!"
'… I can't take it anymore! I want out!' Hermione's words made Harry remember him being in bad shape following Sirius' death. He had been too overwhelmed by the responsibility of killing Voldemort, to the point that he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
"She made sure I was left with good friends, instead of leaving me all by myself in Twelve Grimmauld Place… with every corner reminding me of Sirius!" He figured his wife had wanted to give him time to mourn, meanwhile taking the responsibility of fighting the good fight all by herself.
"So, to honor Tanya's hard work, I am not letting you- kyah?!" He couldn't show any gratitude to his wife; instead, he wrapped Hermione in a thankful embrace.
"Hermione, thank you! I… I… bollocks! Why does she have to do all things by herself?!"
"Tanya is a free spirit, and honestly, I'm sure you, like me, wouldn't want her any other way." Harry let go of the girl, his eyes narrowing at her, though the expression lacked any real malice.
"… and care to tell me how you always understand Tanya better than myself?! She is my wife for crying out aloud!"
"Simply, because Tanya is my best friend, and I love her!"
"If it was Luna who said that, I would be so pissed!" He chuckled.
"I reckon Tanya also loves you! And so do I!" He smiled gently at his friend, grateful for the constant support she had offered, knowing he wouldn't have moved beyond friendship with Tanya without her help.
"Thank you, Harry! I love you too!" The two friends held onto the moment, with Harry's worries fading as he realized how fortunate he was to be surrounded by so much love.
"Mumble… get a room… mumble." Hearing Ron murmuring in complaint from being left out made Harry and Hermione exchange a grin, both thinking the same thing.
"Oh, Ron! Have I ever mentioned that you're the boy I love most?!" Ron was left exasperated, mainly because Harry followed his 'love declaration' with a wink.
"K-knock it off- you are pulling my leg, aren't you?"
"What? I am not lying!"
"Yeah, yeah! Love you too, mate." With a grunt, he replied, waving Harry away with his hand.
"Me too, Ron! You are the boy I love the most!" Hermione followed suit with the joke.
"Hmmm… I reckon… me too."
For some reason beyond Harry's understanding, the playful mood abruptly vanished.
"What… is going on here?" In addition, he was further puzzled watching Hermione and Ron silently staring at each other for a full minute, their faces growing redder.
Eventually, the stalemate was over with Mrs Weasley calling them for dinner. Nonetheless, in the following days, Harry barely saw his two best friends. It was as if they were deliberately avoiding him, and whenever he did catch up to them, there was an odd sensation in the air, something that made him feel like he should walk away.
"Sob! They don't want me around anymore!"
"Giggle! Harry, those two are starting to figure out they're madly in LOVE with each other!" Ginny clarified for him.
"Hermione and Ron have always had this 'thing' going on! Didn't you hear me and Luna talking about it just before your marriage?"
"No, I- are you sure?!" The younger girl nodded firmly.
"They're a bit thick if you ask me. I reckon Hermione's battling her shyness, and my daft brother hasn't got a clue what to do."
Harry felt conflicted. On one hand, Ron and Hermione had supported him and Tanya during their relationship, so it was fair to return the favor. On the other hand, the thought of walking in on the two snogging (or WORSE) was something he couldn't bear.
Thus, Harry had no choice except to content himself with Ginny as his only companion.
"Have I told you how I used to steal my brothers' brooms in the middle of the night to practice? Until Tanya saw me and, well…"
It turned out, it wasn't nearly as much of a hassle as he'd expected. In fact, Harry was taken aback by how much Ginny had changed. Not that she was unpleasant before, but now, he could actually have a proper conversation with her and really enjoy her company.
"… in Binn's class, I almost let out who truly killed the basilisk! Hahahah!" Ginny was clever and funny, plus they shared a lot of common interests. In particular, she was as passionate about Quidditch as he was, and one morning, she proved herself to be a skilled player.
"Wow! Where did you learn those moves?"
"Hehehe! All self-taught! Angelina was so impressed with my flying, she wanted me to take your place while you and Tanya were off…" And so, they spent their days either chatting or having one-on-one Quidditch matches, just the two of them.
"I caught the Snitch, Harry! I won- EEP!" Ginny's old broom, too worn out, broke beneath her, sending her plummeting.
"Ginny!" It was a close call, Harry managed to catch her inches before she hit the ground.
"Thanks, Harry! If I'd gotten hurt, Mum would have banned me from flying forever!"
"You are welcome- !" Harry's thoughts short-circuited as a flood of sensations hit him all at once.
"Why is my heart beating so fast- such a wonderful scent, better than actual flowers- w-what are those round soft things pressed against me?! H-her b-brea-" And lastly, their eyes met. In that instant, everything else vanished.
"Whoa… was Ginny… always so… pretty…?"
"Err, Harry?"
"Y-yes?"
"Aren't you going to put me down?"
"Eh? AH!" Gently, he released Ginny. The fact that he was reluctant to do so wasn't lost to him.
"What in heavens' name was I thinking?!" Later on the same night, Harry turned in bed, chastising himself for his indecent thoughts.
"This must be because I have been away from Tanya for weeks! Ahhh… how long since we last made love?" Despite the scorching summer heat, his bed was as cold as ice. Maybe, without realizing it, he was craving someone to warm it.
"I reckon my hands would warm fast rubbing Ginny's brea- WHAT AM I THINKING?!" He slammed his head on the bed, hoping, in vain, to shake the dirty thoughts from his mind.
"Alright! No choice, I will use my 'Tanya, princess of the Veela' fantasies I reserve for my nights alone!" Harry closed his eyes, his mind drifting to an image of Tanya in a stunning white dress that left little to the imagination…
'Hello, Harry. Ready for an entire night of passion?'
"YES!"
'Oh! Regrettably, I must be off to fight the forces of evil!'
"Eh?"
'Be at ease, my love. I asked a friend to take good care of you!'
"What? You can't leave me! You were supposed to-"
'Hi, Harry!' Harry turned toward the voice, stunned by what he saw.
"G-Ginny?!" There was Ginny, wearing a red bikini, and a devilish smirk on her face.
"W-why does she have horns? And bat wings? And a pointed tail?!" Flapping her small wings, Ginny soared toward Harry, landing in his arms just like when he had saved her earlier.
'Hihihi! Still wish me to warm your hands…?'
"Gulp!"
'Oh, Harry…! Come see me in the flesh… I am in the next room… waiting for you-'
"!" Harry shot his eyes open, he jumped out of bed, with a clear object in mind:
"I am going to slip into Ginny's- NO! I am taking a long COLD shower until my mind is clean or back into making up k-kinky fantasies exclusively about my wife!"
"Did you see Ron and Hermione's face?! I bet they were about to snog!" The next morning, Harry found out that, sadly, not all the cold water in the world could quench the fire sparked by Ginny's charming smile.
"I see, cool…"
"I am the worst! It's as if I am cheating on Tanya! And betraying Ginny's trust in me! Not to say Ron and the Weasleys'! ARGH! I am definitely the worst!"
"… and because of my brother's scare, Michael broke up with me! I was so angry with the three of them!"
"I see, cool…" This was all Harry could mutter, his words coming out automatically as his mind struggled to focus, torn between guilt and admiring the beautiful girl in front of him.
"Humpf! And a few days later, he was all over Cho Chang!"
"I see, cool- hold on! Cho Chang is with Michael Corner?!" At least, something stirred a reaction from Harry.
"Then Cedric Diggory is free! BLIMEY! I can already see him stalking Tanya this upcoming year!"
"Harry, he graduated, remember?"
"You are…! ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! From now on, it will be too hard for Diggory to create any excuse to see Tanya!"
"Most probably, they are going to NEVER see each other again!"
"Ginny, you gave me the best news ever! You are brilliant!"
"Hehehe! Happy to make your day better!" She flashed a cute blush at his compliment, and Harry, lost once more in admiring her beauty, found her words unclear and distant.
"… school… quidditch… tryouts…"
"I see, cool…"
"W-well… this isn't cheating! After all, I am not s-snogging her, o-or 'warming up my hands' on her!"
"… friends… invite…going out… I am dating Dean Thomas." This last piece of information had the effect that the cold shower didn't.
"I SEE! (NOT) COOL!" Despite his newfound coldness, jealousy was burning inside him.
"Does Ron know?"
"No, and please, don't tell him!"
"Why not? He's your brother, he has every right to look out for you! There are a lot of blokes out there who would love to take advantage of a beautiful girl!"
"Listen here! I am not some defenseless- Did you say I am beautiful?"
"D-did I?! Oh, man!" An uncomfortable silence hung in the air. Harry knew he had to say something, to offer an excuse, or lie if necessary…
"H-Harry… maybe we should go back into the house-"
"Why?" Even Harry was surprised with his own mouth. Apparently, his body had no desire to part from Ginny.
"W-why?! W-well… W-we've gotta make sure Mum hasn't killed Phlegm! That's a damn good reason, isn't it?!" She stood up and tried to rush past him, but Harry quickly grabbed her arm.
"Wait, Ginny! I think you are mistaken- !" No, THIS was the real mistake. Inadvertently, he pulled Ginny closer, her face mere inches from his. She blushed so adorably that Harry was hit by an urge to kiss her.
"Harry, I…"
"P-p-please, fight me off! Ask me to let you go! Throw some insults, call me a gross cheater… anything, PLEASE!" She closed her eyes as if entrusting all of her being to him.
"I… have to stop…!" He couldn't, her attraction was stronger than gravity. Slowly, their faces were coming together, a second more, and their lips would meet.
"Am I interrupting?" Both of them widened their eyes in shock and quickly pulled apart, putting as much distance between them as possible.
"I-I-I was going to kiss Ginny?! And someone saw?!" And not just someone…
"T-Tanya?! H-hi!"
"Hi, Ginny. I came to pick up Harry."
"T-T-Tanya, my love! I am so glad to see you! A-and did you notice how me and Ginny were chatting, completely innocently and definitely without any dirty intentions?!"
"…"
"I-it is as Harry said, Tanya! B-by the way, did I ever mention how I would never, EVER try to steal the boyfriend, much less the husband of a friend?!"
"…!" Tanya stared hard at the two lying teens.
"Do they really believe they can fool ME of all people?!"
"It's okay, I forgive you two… NOT!" She took out her Devil of the Rhine and with a single hex blew the two to smithereens.
"Mwahahahaha! You can screw around together in Valhalla-"
"Tanya! Please, say something!"
"Huh?" Once more, she lost herself in a daydream of Harry's death, meanwhile, the two teenagers were tensely staring at her.
"Stupid kids! Don't do the crime if you are going to regret it a second later!"
"I…"
"… wanna rip your heads off!"
"… am going to thank Mrs Weasley for taking care of you, before we leave." The two exhaled in relief and trailed after her.
"I am beginning to wonder, will Albus Potter be conceived by two properly married adults, or as an act of indiscretion by a couple of naughty kids in puberty?!" Whatever is the answer, should he be conceived now, she would die.
"I need to come up with something to contain their lust, at least until I can dispose of Harry-"
"TANYA!" Fleur Delacour darted out of the house, wrapped the girl in a tight hug, and covered her cheeks with a flurry of kisses.
"Eet 'as been so long!"
"GYAH! ONE OF THE SUCCUBUS SISTERS IS HERE!"
"H-hi Fleur!" As quickly as she could, Tanya slipped from the woman's grasp and sought protection behind Harry and Ginny.
"W-what a surprise! Are you visiting the Weasleys? I-is your little sister around?!"
"Visiting? Oh, non! I am living 'ere until ze marriage! You 'eren't told?" Tanya turned an inquiring look at Ginny.
"Sniffle! She and Bill are getting MARRIED!"
"Oh? I recall something from a year ago about Bill meeting your parents?"
"Oui! William was so shy zat eet took all zis time for 'im to ask my 'and! Hihihi!"
"I see, congratulations to you…"
"… and my sympathies to the Weasleys."
"Tanya! You are here!" Next, it was Hermione who hugged her, thankfully, not so affectionate as Fleur did.
"I was so worried about you! Please, don't fight the death eaters all by yourself!" As usual, she had a misunderstanding ready for her…
"What are you talking about? I was with Professor Snape doing research on mystical organs."
"You were?! Oh! I am so relieved you had nothing to do with Mr Ollivander's rescue!"
"You can bet I didn't-"
"Did she say Mr Ollivander?" In fact, she had received a report from one of her last remaining Order of the Phoenix agents, stating he had driven off some delinquents causing a ruckus at the old wand-maker's shop.
"Hmpf! If it was me, there would be two less death eaters in the world!" She made a mental note to have a serious talk with Alastor Moody soon.
"Little Tanya, my dear!" Molly Weasley ran out of the house, her arms wide open.
"Mum, stop!" Ron yelled, moving quickly to stand between them.
"Have you forgotten the safety measures?!" He flashed around one of the many leaflets the Ministry distributed.
"Tanya, if that is your real name, prove you aren't a death eater!" A vein popped in her head.
"Doesn't this stupid boy realize that if I was the enemy, there would be four dead bodies at my feet already?!"
"Ron! She is Tanya! Don't you see her- s-scary red wand?!" Hermione distanced herself, seeing Tanya pull the Devil of the Rhine wand, with Harry, Ginny, and Fleur following suit.
"Oh, you caught me red-handed, Ron Weasley! I am no mere death eater, I am Lord Voldemort himself! Mwahahaha!"
"F-for real?! Then… let me see…" She could have forgiven him if he was brave enough to try to fight her off instead of quickly skimming through the leaflet, likely searching for the section on 'what to do if Voldemort appears'.
"Alas, you have discovered me! I am going to have to kill everyone here, starting with YOU!"
"GAH! T-T-Tanya! H-how have you been?!" He offered her a nervous, shaky smile while tossing the leaflet aside.
"Ron does have a point, Tanya." Harry intervened before his friend was consumed by the intensity of her glare.
"We should make up a few safe words to help identify each other, just for precaution." She rolled her eyes at her husband's stupid suggestion.
"Harry, you can read my mana signature!"
"… right!" He scratched his head, clearly embarrassed.
"Hahaha! I keep forgetting I have this ability!"
"Why? Because I don't let you use it in quidditch?"
"Well, yeah." Another vein popped in her head.
"I am warning you, Harry Potter! If you are ever tricked by a polyjuiced death eater, I will personally kill you for him- GEH!" Molly Weasley could no longer stand the wait and pulled her into a hug far tighter than Fleur's.
"It's so good to see you, dear! I was so worried after the Department of Mysteries…"
"Sorry if I hurt your feelings, it wasn't my intention."
"What? Sweetheart, I would never be angry with you!" At last, she released Tanya.
"I perfectly understand you didn't want to put us in more danger. Harry explained." She suspected Harry had invented some silly excuse for his 'misunderstood' wife.
"As a matter of fact, my tolerance for worthless fools has run dry! That is all!" At any rate, she bowed to Molly Weasley, ready to wrap up the formalities and head home.
"Mrs. Weasley, please allow me to extend my gratitude for taking care of my husband. I trust he wasn't too much of a nuisance?"
"Oh, no! It was my pleasure! You and Harry are staying with us for the rest of your summer vacation, aren't you?"
"I am afraid we must go home-"
"Nonsense! Spend some days 'ith us! Ze 'ouse ees yours!" Unexpected, this invitation came not from Molly Weasley, but from Fleur, earning the part-Veela three glares in return.
Nonetheless, regardless of her new daughter-in-law's audacity, the oldest Weasley kept her features relaxed.
"You will be with Harry naturally, he is in Fred and George's old room."
"No way in hell I am staying in a house taken over by a succubus!"
"I don't want to impose-"
"Let me show you the way!"
"H-hey!" Happily, Harry pulled Tanya along, making her miss the last opportunity to flee the succubus' new lair.
"What- what's the damn hurry?!" She snapped as soon as they entered the room and he released her hand.
"Is there a fire somewhere for you to-" She heard the distinct click of a door locking.
"I-I think I know where the fire is!"
"I missed you so much!" She got her fifth hug of the day, along with the first passionate kiss she'd had in almost a month.
"It's impossible for me to fall asleep…"
"H-Harry- mmmpphhh!"
"… without seeing your cute face before I close my eyes…"
"I-it's too early to engage in those- OOOHHH!"
"… even though you're in all my dreams anyway…" She felt his hands slipping under her shirt, unfastening her pants, her mind beginning to fog under the sensation…
"S-speaking of dreams, Harry!" Quickly, she pulled away from him, while she still had control over her actions.
"Have you recalled what was your third wish in that dream…?"
"Wish? What dream are you talking about?"
"DON'T PLAY DUMB- I-I mean, the dream with the nutcracker… it said it was god…"
"Ah! Being X!"
"Yes, that piece of- ahem! You told me he granted you three wishes…"
"One wish for me to always return to him, and the other to never tire during intercourse…"
"… did you remember what the third was?"
"Hmm… sorry, no."
"I see."
"Shit!" She imagined he was telling the truth, Being X must have erased that part of the dream from his mind to prevent Tanya from creating countermeasures.
"Dammit! What could he have asked?! How can something he wishes for himself throw me to my doom?!" This question has been haunting her for months. There was the fact that Being X wanted Tanya to fall in love with Harry, so maybe his last wish was for her to love him forever.
"Can't be! In the absurdly unlikely event I do fall for this idiot, I wouldn't just turn into a brainless puppet because my 'darling' demanded it!" Visha herself wouldn't have such power over her.
"There is something I am overlooking! What could it be?!"
"… think Mrs Weasely will mind if we join the beds?" Back in reality, she saw Harry setting up a makeshift double bed.
"Sigh! No use getting worked up over something I can't control… for now."
"Where are the twins?"
"Ron told me they're in Diagon Alley, sleeping in a little flat over their joke shop."
"So they opened the shop?"
"Yes, and I also heard they're raking in the Galleons."
"Pff! Right! And Fleur is Mrs Weasley's dream daughter-in-law!"
"Oh, you saw nothing! The girls can't stand Fleur. Hermione can barely manage to be polite, and Ginny calls her 'Phlegm' behind her back!" He let out a small chuckle.
"Then there's Mrs. Weasley, she's been trying rather hard to break up the engagement. Going as far to try to push Bill to Tonks!"
"Nymphadora? She had been coming here?"
"Almost daily, and you won't believe it! She is in love with-"
"Remus Lupin, I bet."
"How do you know?"
"Everyone noticed, Harry, except the clueless you, as usual."
"What? How am I supposed to notice those things?! Most people don't flirt like you do!"
"Excuse me?! When did I flirt?!" He seemingly ignored her, going for a bag under one of the beds.
"I don't reckon Tonks ever sent a love letter sung by dwarfs…" Harry pulled out the infamous letter Tanya supposedly sent to him, still in pristine condition, carefully encased in a glass frame.
"Y-you kept that lame thing all these years?!"
"… or demanded Remus to have good grades before she gave him their first kiss…"
"Don't remind me, my world changed forever after that kiss!"
"… or even got herself under Veela's charm because she is too shy to engage in any intimacy."
"WHAT THE- Don't bring up that night- uegh! My mouth… I think I can feel the taste…!" The taste in her mouth turned more bitter as it dawned on her, that from any perspective except her own, Tanya was indeed the one who flirted with him…
"A-and… in HERMIONE and RON's case… they… they…!" He shuddered.
"What about those two? Could they be finally together?"
"They are getting there, the problem is they are pushing me away! These last few days, I only had Ginny as company!"
"Is that your excuse to flirt with her?!"
"…!" The accusatory tone in her voice made him break into a cold sweat.
"I-I have no idea-"
"No, sorry, my mistake! I remember she sent you a letter sung by dwarfs too! From your perspective, she is the one who has been flirting with you!"
"N-nothing happened-"
"And tell me, did Fleur accidentally hit Ginny with her Veela charm? Wait! YOU were the one all over her! About to engage in… what did you call? Oh, yeah, INTIMACY!"
"C-come on! I wouldn't-"
"DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU CHEAT ON ME?!" She crossed her arms, ready to crush any excuse.
"No, you are right. I… almost… with Ginny…" It seemed shame got the better of him.
"I am sorry, I really am! But you left me here for a month without a word or a single owl to say how have you been! I was lonely!"
"Aff! Did I learn nothing from the incident with Cho Chang? It's deadly for me to let my horny beast of a husband become sex deprived!" Had her plan not failed, Harry would be happily fucking Ginny, giving Tanya grounds for a divorce. Instead, she is back to using her body to keep him in check.
"No, can't let him screw me as if nothing happened! With Cho Chang, I went too easy on him! Today I am tightening the leash!"
"Lonely?! Don't give me that crap, you skirt-chasing-"
"WAAAHHH! DON'T LEAVE ME! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!" He prostrated himself on the ground.
"Please, sob! I can't do anything without you! Sleeping, eating, breathing, LIVING!"
"Get a grip on yourself! I never said I was leaving you! I couldn't even if I wanted to!" It was already miraculous how their link let her stay away from him for a month.
"Y-you won't?! Sniffle! You swear?!"
"Harry, I promise I am staying with you until DEATH do us part!"
"… and a very PAINFUL one!"
"Oh, I don't deserve you-"
"No, you don't! You should spend your days in eternal gratitude for having a single glimpse of my being!"
"I couldn't agree more!" She frowned seeing Harry join his hands into a prayer.
"Thank you for my wonderful days with Tanya, Being X!"
"Don't you dare call for dubious entities! What if a passing poltergeist hears- achoo!" Shuddering, Tanya hugged herself.
"Isn't it a bit chilly here- my clothes! Where are my clothes?!" No wonder she was sneezing, she wasn't wearing a thing. Seeing Harry grinning with a flushed face, she knew exactly who was to blame.
"How the heck?!"
"The moment you pushed me away… I pulled it all with me…" She saw all her clothes neatly folded beneath his feet.
"You…! You… why is it only on the useless stuff that you show so much skill?!"
"Feh! What can I say? It was the power of love! And so is this!" With a gentle poke, he had her fall on the joined beds.
"E-eek! What is the big idea- !" Next, he gave a demonstration of how he had stripped her by removing his own clothes in the blink of an eye before literally diving at her.
"Ahhh! I-I was supposed to show him who is in charge- Hmmmm!" Trying to stop him now was useless, not with his kisses and touches driving her wild.
"Ohhh! G-give me a second… I have to… to…" With the last shred of her rational mind, Tanya summoned her contraceptive potion and cast an Imperturbable Charm on the room…
About an hour later, Tanya and Harry rejoined the others for dinner.
"Uhh, the things I must do to stay alive! I only wish he wouldn't make me scream so loud… and so indecently!" Tanya glanced discreetly at Harry, confirming he was happily eating, grinning without worry. Nearby, Ginny seemed to be sulking, absentmindedly pushing her food around.
"She must have figured out what we- huh?" Mrs. Weasley and Ron were both flustered, while Hermione was just as red, but looking more like a volcano about to erupt.
"T-T-Tanyaaaaaaa…!" At last, Hermione snapped. She leaped from her seat, her voice a mix of anger and embarrassment.
"HOW MANY TIMES MUST WE TELL YOU TWO TO USE THE SPELL?!"
"E-ehhhh?!"
"Please sweetheart, have as much food as you need to recover strength! Chuckle!"
"Bloody hell, Tanya! You've got our house ghoul beat with your own howling!"
"Sob! W-were you trying to punish me?! By flaunting your love that way?!"
"What are you all talking about?! I placed the charm as soon as I took my potion!"
"Oh, my dear! I completely forgot!" All eyes turned to Molly Weasley.
"I put a permanent dispeller for the imperturbable charm on Fred and George's room! So I wouldn't be caught by surprise with their antics!"
"You did WHA- !" It took all her effort to not scream in shame (or kill someone).
"N-no need to lose my composure! So long as no one talks about it, we can pretend it never happened-"
"Giggle! So ze rumors 'ere true! You are two savages on ze bed!" Evidently, this comment came from the noisy succubus, Fleur 'Phlegm' Delacour.
"'Ith so much passion, 'hen is ze first BABY arriving?"
"B-b-baby?!" In a panic, Tanya hurriedly checked her empty contraceptive vial, making sure not a single drop had been left behind.
"If it was up to me, we would have an entire quidditch team by now!" Harry's dreamy expression revealed how thrilled he was with the idea.
"…!" Tanya on the other hand, froze, imagining it in her mind: a swollen belly, the exhaustion from carrying the extra weight, followed by what people called the worst pain in the world during childbirth. Next, the sleepless nights filled with the child's incessant crying, and finally, one- correction, two mouths constantly suckling at her breasts.
"And what if it is born without any magic?! I would need to save a FORTUNE for school and college! Not that Hogwarts is any cheaper, anyway!" In other words, it would hurt both her body and pocket.
"How about it, Tanya? Want to start with a seeker?"
"… die." Tanya's reaction was inevitable: she drew her wand, piercing a hole through Harry's chest, then did the same to Fleur for having the audacity to suggest.
"Tanya? Oi, Tanya?" Ron yelled, awakening her from another daydream.
"You okay? You were staring at nothing and giggling."
"Thinking back, you have been doing that a lot a month ago-"
"YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ANY 'SEEKERS' INSIDE MY BODY, YOU PERVERT!" Tanya shouted, more in fright than anger.
"You rather start with the chasers?"
"NO, IMBECILE! I am not prepared to be a father- a mother- a parent yet!"
"… because we are still in school?"
"No- YES! We have school to think about!"
"Great! In two more years we can-"
"And after graduation, we will be too busy with our careers!"
"But… when are we having children?!"
"Well, maybe in about TWENTY YEARS and only IF we become successful in our jobs!"
"Of course, I will have you DEAD long before!"
"Non, non, Tanya! 'Hat ees zat I am 'earing?!" An affronted Fleur thought it was a good idea to stick the nose in.
"As ze wife, eet ees your obligation to give your 'usband as many children as 'e 'ants!"
"It seems half my daydream is about to come true." Exuding a chilling murderous intent, Tanya pointed her Devil of the Rhine straight at the babbling mouth in front of her.
"… 'Arry eventually 'ill seek a younger lover, zis doesn't take away your responsibility to- mmmpphhh!" Both Ginny and Mrs. Weasley clasped their hands over Fleur's mouth.
"Mum, care to tell me why we have to save Phlegm's life?"
"Hmpf! Because our Bill would be sad!" And the two dragged away the meddlesome succubus.
With her target gone, Tanya nonchalantly waved her wand, settling on the three remaining teens' direction.
"""!"""
"H-Harry! If Tanya doesn't want children, you shouldn't force her!" With the urgency of someone whose life was on the line, Hermione did her utmost to persuade Harry…
"M-mate, are you mental?! An entire quidditch team?! Think of the risk of getting seven more blond acromantulas!" … with Ron as a (un)reliable ally.
"Ron! I-in any case, the four of us have far more urgent matters to deal with!"
"Are you talking about Voldemort?"
"NO! MUCH MORE URGENT! OUR O.W.L.S!" As always, Hermione disregarded everything else as soon as her grades were on the line.
"Fine by me! Glad to have Harry distracted away from the topic of parenthood!"
"Wasn't it supposed to be today that we received the results?! Why is it taking so long?!"
"Now that you've said it, I reckon it should've come in the morning-"
"Oh, Merlin! This has to be bad news! I must have trolled all subjects!"
"Miss Granger, if you were to receive a single 'T', the fault would undoubtedly lie with the examiner."
""""Professor Dumbledore!""""
"A very good afternoon to all. My sincerest apologies for entering unannounced; the door was ajar, and Molly was thoroughly engaged in demonstrating the art of sewing to Miss Delacour."
""""…"""" This caused the four to share a glance.
"Oh-oh! I wouldn't trust Molly Weasley with a needle around her future daughter-in-law…" Tanya sincerely believed that, in the best-case scenario, she would simply try to sew the succubus' mouth shut.
"Y-you don't reckon mum is…!" Ron alone showed signs of concern.
"We gotta help Fleur-"
"Later! P-professor, what about our grades?!"
"I have them in my possession, right here with me." Calmly, he handed each one an envelope.
"Given my presence here was necessary, I took the liberty of bringing your results myself."
"Oh, Merlin! Please let it be all…" With hands shaking, Hermione carefully unwrapped her sheet result.
"Outstanding… outstanding, outstanding, outstanding, outstanding, outstanding, outstanding, outstanding, outstanding and… OUTSTANDING! I can't believe it! I won! Won! WON!" They all exchanged confused looks, watching the bushy-haired girl leaping in delight.
"Hehehe! Sorry, Tanya! It's my victory!" In a second act uncharacteristic of her, Hermione displayed her grades with a smug smile spreading across her face.
"I have TEN! TEN Outstandings in my O.W.L.s!"
Tanya blinked in puzzlement.
"Huhuhu! If memory serves me right, you did eight O.W.L. exams! You can't have more than eight Outstandings!"
"I think I'm starting to get where she's going with this…" Unlike prefects, who were picked by the heads of the houses, the Head Boy and Head Girl were determined by the best O.W.L. results.
"Our long rivalry at last ended! With MY victory!" She let out a burst of loud laughter.
"As a matter of fact…" Tanya spoke, her eyes scanning her grade sheet.
"W-what?" Hermione's expression tightened, her laughter abruptly cutting off.
"… I got only three Outstandings."
"… honestly?! Then… then…! IT'S MY DEFINITIVE SUPREME VICTORY! I WILL BE THE HEAD GIRL! HAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh? Will you…?"
"Huh?"
With triumphant satisfaction, Tanya proudly displayed her grades for all to see.
ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS
TANYA POTTER HAS ACHIEVED:
Astronomy: E
Care of Magical Creatures: E
Charms: M
Defense Against the Dark Arts: M
Divination: T
Herbology: E
History of Magic: O
Potions: O
Transfiguration: O
"'M'?" Hermione exclaimed.
"Professor Dumbledore! What is that?!"
"A very rare grade, Miss Granger. It signifies the student is at a MASTERY level, hence the 'M'."
"Merlin! Why has no one bothered to inform me these exist?! And more importantly, why didn't I get any Masterys?!"
"While your brightness is undeniable, this grade is reserved for those who have gone beyond perfection, they have surpassed the limits of the subject's knowledge." Professor Dumbledore patiently explained.
"We don't speak of it, because, as I have already mentioned, it is an extraordinarily rare grade. One which has only been awarded to two other students in the past century."
"Let me guess, Tom Riddle and you?"
"A most perceptive deduction, Harry."
"P-Professor! Please, one last question…!" By the pleading tone in Hermione's voice, Tanya could predict the question that was coming, and Dumbledore seemed to sense it as well.
"I'm afraid, Miss Granger, that each Mastery is worth no fewer than four Outstandings"
"Tanya had two 'M's plus three 'O's, in a sum of eleven Outstandings in total…" With the demeanor of a tragic heroine, the girl sank to her knees.
"… it's my loss!"
"Blimey, Hemione!" Ron shook his head, his lips curling into a frown.
"You sound as if you turned into a sack of dragon dung! You have ten 'O's, for Merlin's sake! Besides, Tanya got a- huh?" He stared intently at his grades, and a broad grin slowly spread across his lips.
"Ha! I beat you, Tanya!" All eyes turned to him in disbelief, with Hermione appearing the most astonished.
"Y-you got an 'M' too?!"
"What? No! Take a look right here!" He pointed to his and Tanya's Divination grades, his marked with a 'D', and hers a 'T'.
"Hehehe! Dreadful is higher than Troll!"
"… actually, I didn't take the test. Trelawney enrolled me in the O.W.L. by mistake, I dropped Divination. Didn't you notice I wasn't attending her classes anymore?"
"Doesn't change the fact 'I' beat you in one subject!" Tanya chose to overlook his cockiness, understanding this was likely the greatest accomplishment Ron Weasley would ever achieve.
"See, Hermione? Tanya is not so brilliant-"
"Sob! Don't throw salt on it! I lost to Tanya who lost to you! Meaning I lost to you too!"
"I give up! Hey, Harry, let's swap!" Ignoring the depressed girl, the two boys exchanged their grading sheets.
"Whoa, Harry! You also got an 'M'!"
"WHAT?!"
"In Defense Against the Dark Arts- GAH!" Hermione elbowed Ron out of the way and snatched Harry's grades from his hands.
"It's true! Even Harry got an 'M'!" Embracing her tragic heroine persona once more, she let the sheet slip from her hands, too shocked to hold on to anything.
"I lost to Tanya, Ron, and Harry… I am at the bottom of the class… Sob!"
AN: Some moments in this chapter reflect how I wish Rowling had developed Harry and Ginny's relationship at the start of Half-Blood Prince. I even provided the perfect excuse for Ron and Hermione to leave them alone.
For those who think Tanya is too violent, remember how she was at the end of the last arc. After discovering that Being X was responsible for her meeting and marrying Harry, she essentially put her rational side on an extended 'vacation' until she could rid the world of her enemies and Harry. But she doesn't yet realize that this shift in attitude might eventually turn her into the Overlord…
As for the addition of the 'M' (Mastery) grade, I included it because Hogwarts doesn't use pluses in its grading system. I felt that truly exceptional individuals like Dumbledore and Voldemort deserved a distinction beyond an Outstanding, Tanya included, of course. Just to clarify: Harry earned one 'M,' Tanya received two, and both Voldemort and Dumbledore had at least three each.
I can't recall if the Harry Potter canon specifies how Head Boys and Head Girls are chosen, but in this story, they are determined by the best O.W.L. results.
This chapter was incredibly difficult to write, I feel my motivation slipping. I just hope I have enough left to finish this story… But honestly, how can I stay motivated with such low review counts?! I'll say it again: REVIEW if you want this story to continue! Believe me, if I don't see enough comments by the end of this arc, I will uphold the ENDING! I am EVIL enough to do that!
Next chapter: Tanya's killing spree continues, with Slughorn next on her list. But the real tragedy? She discovers her capitalist instincts have failed her. Meanwhile, Harry discovers that a romance blooms between royalty: the pure-blood princess and the half-blood prince!