Dallas, Texas
July 1979
Entering John Ross's nursery, where Mrs Reeves was tidying up, JR gave her a clear instruction.
"Please put him in a nice set of clothes. We're going to see his mama."
He didn't expect, nor did he particularly want, to hear her opinion on the matter, but she gave it anyway.
"In that place? Is that wise? Little John is just a boy."
JR's tone stayed steady, though he resented the need to explain himself.
"It's not an asylum; it's a private hospital on a large estate with gardens and a pond. Little John will be just fine. In fact, I think he'll like it, not just because he hasn't seen his mama in over a month."
He didn't need to justify himself, but he did. He had nothing to be ashamed of. He'd even asked Pamela to come along, both to support Sue Ellen and to help care for John Ross in case the boy grew fussy. Sue Ellen had made it clear she wanted to see their son, though JR couldn't predict how she'd react. She had a history of acting indifferently toward the child when she wasn't in the right frame of mind.
Mrs Reeves nodded. "Very well, sir. I'll get him ready."
"He's gotten so big," Sue Ellen murmured, her gaze fixed on her son.
The sight of him stunned her. Little John wasn't so little anymore, he'd grown so much in her absence, far more than she'd anticipated, and the realisation hit her harder than she expected. His shyness surprised her too. Once, she'd been the one he reached for when he fell, the one he hugged and kissed with unguarded affection. Now, though, he clung to JR's legs and turned to Pamela when he was upset.
"He'll be eighteen months old next month," JR offered, breaking the silence. "A whole year and a half since we met him."
Sue Ellen's lips twitched into a faint smile. "I knew him before I met him."
Her words lingered between them, and her mind drifted back to the time before John Ross's birth. Those days felt distant, strange even. They'd wanted a baby so badly, worked so hard to make it happen. When they had finally succeeded, life had changed in ways she hadn't fully prepared for.
JR's voice brought her back to the moment. "I remember."
"Duck!"
John Ross pointed excitedly toward the lawn, where a family of ducks waddled out from behind a tree. They made their way toward the pond, a quaint little scene that redirected all their attention. Feeling inspired, Sue Ellen stood and extended her hand to her son.
"Would you like to go and see the ducks?" she asked gently.
"Go!"
His little face lit up as he looked at her, then quickly back at the pond. Without hesitation, he began to toddle forward, pulling her along. JR and Pamela followed a few steps behind, their voices quiet in the background.
If only life could remain this simple, Sue Ellen thought. Moments like this, peaceful and pleasant, were so rare. But she knew Brooktree offered a very particular kind of serenity, a cocoon she wasn't yet strong enough to leave behind. She'd need to be much stronger before she could reclaim her old life.
JR hadn't often spoken warmly about Pamela in the past, but now that she'd become little John's second mother, his attitude toward her had shifted. It'd be nice if JR could extend that same grace to reconsider his opinion of him, it was beginning to affect how little John felt. Unfortunately, Jock knew he was being optimistic to think that might actually happen.
They shared a home and an office, but since JR had found out about him and Sue Ellen, the two had barely exchanged a word. The whole thing was petty and immature, JR was hardly a saint himself. Yet here he was, acting like Bobby, rushing to judge without fully understanding the situation.
Jock could cope; he was the bigger man. But it did irritate him. He was the man of the family, the one who deserved respect, yet lately, it felt like everyone was going out of their way to show him the opposite.
Fortunately, he was still head of the household and the companies that funded their entire lifestyle. Every member of the family ultimately depended on his generosity to keep things as they were. If it came to it, he'd remind them of that, perhaps by making an example of one, ensuring compliance from the rest.
"What do you want to do?" Doctor Rogerson asked, her voice steady and calm. They sat across from each other in the doctor's office for their regular therapy session. The space was quiet, almost too quiet, save for the faint ticking of a clock on the wall.
"I never want to see him again," Sue Ellen said bluntly. "But other than that, nothing."
There was plenty she'd like to do to Jock, but she wasn't stupid. Admitting any of those things would ensure her stay at Brooktree stretched far longer than it already had.
"You don't want to press charges?" Doctor Rogerson probed gently.
"And let everyone know what happened? No." Sue Ellen's response was sharp, almost dismissive.
"It doesn't have to be like that," Doctor Rogerson said, leaning forward slightly, her tone encouraging.
"Sue Ellen Ewing pressing charges against Jock Ewing?" She let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. "That's gossip. His word against mine? That's what ruins families. I don't want the public, or even our family, people like Bobby or Lucy, to know the details."
It was a terrible conclusion to reach, but it felt like the only one she could live with. If she was going to put Jock's unwanted behaviour behind her, she couldn't dwell on it by dragging them all into a battle of he-said-she-said. Besides, it was clear to her, painfully so, that Jock genuinely believed she'd wanted what he did. That his behaviour would somehow "change her mind." That he hadn't done anything wrong.
"If you're sure, then I won't raise it again," Doctor Rogerson said after a moment, her expression unreadable. "That's your decision to make."
"It's the only decision I've been able to make for myself in a long time," Sue Ellen admitted, her voice quieter now, almost brittle.
She still wasn't in much of a position to make her own choices. Even her admission to Brooktree wasn't really her decision anymore. At this point, she'd take what little control she could get. Anything to minimise her pain going forward was worth considering.
"By the time you're ready to leave here, you'll have made a lot more decisions," Doctor Rogerson said with quiet confidence.
"I hope so," Sue Ellen murmured, though the words felt more like a wish than a promise.
It was a painful truth to accept, knowing Jock would never face consequences for what he'd done. But she was ready to begin reclaiming a sense of control, no matter how small. If nothing else, she needed to feel like herself again.