Dear Harry,
How much I wish I could call you by this name instead of Potter. How much I wish you would turn and respond to me. How much I wish to spend more time with you. How much I wish to be at least your friend instead of your boring and annoying acquaintance in the Auror Department. How much I wish we could be something more. How much I wish to tell you that I love you.
Harry, I am writing this letter knowing that I would definitely not send it to you. But I can no longer keep this see of emotions within myself.
You see Harry, I love you. Always have, you know? Since the moment I saw you at Madam Malkins, I knew you were the one for me. Little did I know that I would never be the one for you. Do you know how desperate I was when I wanted you to shake my hand in the train. But I don't blame you for rejecting me because I know I was like a brat that day. You know why I hated Granger and Weasley the most? Not because of their status you dumbo. But because they had something that I had always wanted. YOUR LOVE.
I know I have hurted you a lot and that no number of apologies could wipe the despair I have caused you all these years. But what could I do Harry. I was desperate. So desperate and angry that I chose to hide my emotions in a mask of cruelty. I feel so bad now. So Bad and disappointed at myself to have hurted the person whom I love the most in this universe.
I love you Harry but sadly you would never know that.
You know Harry, I pray everyday that you get the most joy in the world. Because you deserve it Harry Potter. You so very much deserve it. You are the kindest person to have ever walked on this Earth. I wish to take away all your pain and give you your happiness. Your one smile can light a whole dark place. You are like a ray of light in my pit of darkness. Sadly, I could never be that ray for you. It hurts me so much that I would not be the one to bring that smile on your face. But I could stay away from you, if that is what would make you smile.
I can't take this anymore Harry. I love you so much that it hurts me just as much as I love you. How much it hurts to see you everyday and think that I am nobody to you when for me you are my whole world. How much I wish to tell you how I actually feel or show you who I really am. But I won't do that. I won't add more burden to your life and destroy the barely formal relation we have these days as Auror partners. As I told you, I want your life to be bright and so I don't want to come into your life and bring the darkness.
Your life is better without me in it and I know it. Accepted it too. So I have decided that I am never going to tell you about my feelings
You have to life your life well Harry and have your own family even though I so very much wish I could have been a part of it. But I know that those are just in my dreams.
I hurts me to think everyday how would it be to have you smile at me. How would it be for me to go back in time and change everything. How would it be to be in your embrace. How would it be to at least have a small place in your heart. I know how it would be to love you Harry because I do, but I know I would never know how it would be to be loved by you.
How would it be?
The one who loves you the most but could never tell you,
Draco
Note- This story has not been copied from Archive of our own story How would it be to be loved. That is my own story with a different username.